Hey, I saw your bi lesbian post and genuinely mean this in good faith, but- what exactly is the problem with the label? My biggest problem so far is that each argument against it that Iāve seen comes with problems in and of itself. Like one of the best examples Iāve seen is where those against it will argue textbook definitions - but only to the point where it works for them. āYou are erasing lesbiansā from lesbians who are also attracted to nb people, for example, in and of itself then (Cont)
the fact that you didnāt state you were nonbinary in this ask is actually what makes me so uncomfortable with it because you are very much deciding how nonbinary people should be discussed without us, which is not how that works at all.
the ānonbinary people are men/women liteā argument means that nonbinary people often exist outside of our idea of men/women. some nonbinary people align with those terms without identifying with them. some ID with more than one. thereās no singular reality for nonbinary people. it does not mean that lesbians and gay men canāt be attracted to nonbinary people.
saying lesbians can be attracted to nonbinary people is not bisexual erasure, and in fact arguing that it is is lesbophobic, transphobic, and biphobic. all lesbians can be attracted to nonbinary people. end of story. there are nonbinary lesbians. there are nonbinary people who align with womanhood or feel a connection to it through their attraction to women. there are nonbinary people who donāt align with a binary gender but still feel they are āsapphicā.
being attracted to more than one gender is not āour thingā and itās quite frankly just gross that you would argue that in the first place. all sexualities include attraction to nonbinary people, because nonbinary people can fit within the parameters of any sexuality, given their diverse and different realities. it is up to individual nonbinary people to decide who/which sexualities they are comfortable dating. sure, a nonbinary person who aligns with both āmanā and āwomanā may not feel comfortable dating someone who is gay or lesbian because they may feel like theyād have to ignore part of their gender. but that doesnāt mean those sexualities exclude nonbinary people, it means they exclude that specific nonbinary person.
one cannot even argue that a sexuality can include specific nonbinary experiences. bigender, agender, genderfluid, etc can all have different meanings to different nonbinary people. while they carry a more general defintion, they are also specific to each individuals identity.
bisexuality is attraction to all genders. ignoring the fact that bi activists have argued time and time again that there are more than two genders, that bisexuality is not an attraction limited to two but in fact exists outside binary notions of attraction and includes everyone etc etc etc.
i canāt control how you identify. but i would encourage you to examine why you have chosen the bisexual label over the lesbian one given the fact that you do not experience attraction to men. and when you are thinking it over, please do keep in mind what Iāve said about nonbinary people and why this ask you sent makes me so uncomfortable as a nonbinary person.