Sam :]

I reblog things here

[sssssaaaaaaammmmm]

My main blog

@sssssaaaaaaammmm

[mysterycat-official]

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[florad0ra]

fun upcycle/repair from today

[dogpuppy]

[charl0ttan]

whyis this tweet my dead wife

[gunsandfireandshit]

[gorps]

[louisegluckpdf]

every since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to aimlessly wander a blighted landscape

[fairycosmos]

a heatwave is a type of ancient curse

[dozydawn]

raspberry & chocolate mousse charlotte

[skeletal-spire-man]

Does anyone actually know how to draw or are we all just pretending to know what to do and being surprised when it actually kinda comes together

[contemptible-scoundrel]

little gray alien just touched a finger to his temple while staring at me, emitting a psychic pulse that caused me to forget the easy way to cut onions

[redstonedust]

thinking "everyone can tell im bad at this" as i stand completely motionless doing nothing in public

[rainbowgaez]

let the bodies hit the floor is such a scary song. usually bodies hitting the floor isn’t a good thing but this guy wants it to happen anyway.

[rainbowgaez]

and yet he insists there’s nothing wrong with him. haunting

[enba-and-luka]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.

[heyitsnyixie]

Loosing my mind over FUCKING Jairs