(driving home from work) i must not kill myself. killing myself is the myself killer. i will— (sees a guy jogging shirtless and he’s all sweaty) Woaw i wish I lived in his armpit (crashes car into telephone pole)
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

titsay
i don't do bad sauce passes

@theartofmadeline
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shark vs the universe
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
hello vonnie
Cosmic Funnies
wallacepolsom
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Keni
noise dept.

JBB: An Artblog!

No title available
trying on a metaphor

Kaledo Art
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@ssugurugeto
(driving home from work) i must not kill myself. killing myself is the myself killer. i will— (sees a guy jogging shirtless and he’s all sweaty) Woaw i wish I lived in his armpit (crashes car into telephone pole)
i really really really like this post
tw lying
Keep reading
my breaking bad headcanon is that one time pre-series hank was like. Haha i don't know about this 'global warming' thing, seems pretty damn cold out to me! and walt through gritted teeth was like. Well actually hank if you look at the science involved you'd see that scientists agree that temperatures have been rising steadily over the past century to an unprecedented degree that is clearly the result of human interference. and hank was like. Well if you say so haha what do i know we got mr. chemistry over here! and walt was like. It's not me who's saying it hank the science speaks for itself which you would know if you read the reports involved. and marie was like. Well now hold on i think hank has a point i mean who exactly are these scientists to talk scientists get things wrong all the time. and skyler was like. And what qualifies you to talk about climate change marie. and marie was like. Well nothing i just think we should be open to different ideas you shouldn't be so narrow-minded skyler. and skyler was like. Thank you so much marie i'll try to keep that in mind you're just full of useful advice aren't you. and hank was like Woah woah calm down ladies it was just an innocent question. and walt was like Climate change denial is not innocent hank it is actively killing the very planet we're living on. and marie was like. Well we just have a different opinion. and walt was like. It's not an opinion it's a matter of scientific fact. and hank was like Hey man it's okay I believe you this stuff's above my paygrade anyway. and marie was like. Hank you shouldn't just give in you should be allowed to express your opinion. and walt was like. Well as i said it's not really a matter of opinion. and marie was like. No walt i think it is a matter of opinion actually. and skyler was like. Well marie my opinion is that you should shut the fuck up. and then they didn't talk to each other for a month
People have been getting a bit parasocial so I think I need to say this:
I am your friend. I know you. You know me. This blog represents my whole complete true self. We are best friends. I love you. I want you carnally, as a friend. Thank you. You mean so much to me as an individual. You aren't a number. Send me money
don’t kill urself. get violently high and jack off at 11am. eat a really big burger. flirt with hot women online. jack off again at 1pm. take a fat nap. jack off again at 4,5,6pm. watch a movie. the world is your oyster
"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about
this made me laugh so hard that it triggered an asthma attack.
Cute and hungry people :))
maybe the weed addicted 2 me
www.actions.com/consequences
The biggest reason 9/11 did not happen in brazil is because big jesus would have catched the plane and destroy the terorist. Second big reason is tjat world trade center wads not i nbrasil
Hey,.. if you were thinking about having sex today, I'm nonbinary fortnite.
all the tasteless 9/11 jokes in the world can't measure up to the fact they turned ground zero into a gift shop where you can buy shirts and mugs with pictures of the towers on them
so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you
Jim Rash as Dean Craig Pelton in COMMUNITY (2009—2015)
When a customer makes me mad I go into the storage room and pull out one of this guy’s teeth