I recently read āThe Ashenā series (unfinished) but it got me thinking about relationship dynamics.
The author Demi Winters writes much softer main characters than SJM ā they spend a lot of their time fearful but strong through it, pushing through their fears with men not only protecting them, but trusting them, pushing them forward. And this is key in a healthy relationship, even in books.
Letās take Tamlin for example. He was extremely protective of Feyre but was that what was best for her? Did he bring confidence to her? Did he make her stronger? Did he believe in her? No. Which is why he was NEVER the right choice. Hell even Lucien was likeā¦. āWe should probably teach Feyre how to use her powersā¦.so she can defend herselfā and Tamlin really saidā¦lock her up instead.
We see this dynamic throughout all of her books, Rowan, Dorian, Hunt, Rhysand they ALL BELIEVE in their āmateā, or their partner for the story theyāre telling because THATS SEXY. Itās SEXY to have a man who will kill for you, but also will let you kill them yourself, who believes in you, who supports you.
We see this with Cassian, Cassian is hard on Nesta because he KNOWS she can be better, she can be stronger, I mean thatās what he loves about her. HE loves to hate her attitude and her strength, heās not afraid of her power, he LOVES IT, but heās protective but enough to know she can handle herself as well and thatās sexy.
This is why Azriel and Elain are not the pair (I DONT BELIEVE) that will end up together. Every turn Azriel is afraid for Elain, heās saying she canāt do things, thatās itās a risk she shouldnāt be taking. And whether people want to admit it or not thatās DOUBT, thatās him not believing sheās strong enough and they ALL do it. Feyre, Azriel, Nesta etc. To be honest the only people that donāt underestimate Elain are Cassian,Rhysand andā¦.Lucien.
Lucien isnāt upset when he sees her on the battle field, when heās covered in gore. The first thing he says is basically āyou killed the king of Hybern? Thatās sick, are you okay?ā LUCIEN is the one who goes after Vassa because ELAIN had a vision and he believed her. He had to right? If he didnāt why would he have gone?? Heās annoyed by Azrielās advances but keeps it cool, he isnāt a brute like Cassian would have been. Lucien is thinking about his failings for HER, not her failings for him.
Now on the flip side we have Gwyn, a character some people like to minimize but she had more time in the last book then Elain or any of the other āmain charactersā. And what does Azriel think about Gwyn? How strong she is, admiration POURING from his face. When theyāre thrown into the bloodrite itās AZRIEL who says āwe have to believe in themā. They challenge each other.
And as a romantasy girly THATS the biggest difference. We all want a man who will protect us, not shield us, not lock us away but stand with us through the hard times.