Dear Dad
Don't ever let anyone tell you how long or how you should grieve, or whether or not you should in the first place.
I made this because tomorrow (January 20th) is the 9th anniversary of my own dad's death. Everything in this comic is based off my own experiences with grieving him. I'm hundreds of miles from home and I'm not doing well so far away from family during this time of year.
[Images: fancomic focusing on Abel from Hazbin Hotel in greyscale but for the gold of the text as well as the eyes and halos in addition to minor blue accents for tears and Emily’s eyes.
Abel looks up with a small frown at two mostly off-screen angels in front of him. His narration reads, “When I lost my dad, I crashed.” His face falls in horror as he continues, “And I crashed hard” with the last word italicized for emphasis. A shadow falls over Abel as he buries his face in both hands, black borders boxing him in as he goes, “Literally nothing can prepare you… for something like losing a parent.”
Abel is seen looking to the side with his mouth open and his eyes unseen as he continues, “I didn’t know how to act when I was told.” He is shown pointing ahead and yelling with a vein pulsing angrily at his temple as he goes, “One side of me wanted to be angry, to scream and shout…” Abel is then seen in the same position but with his hand up pleadingly while a tear runs from his eye, and he continues, “… and the other side wanted to blame myself and apologize for not making him more proud of me.”
Abel is then shown in the same pose as before without visible eyes but now with his mouth nearly closed as he goes, “But instead…” He closes his mouth into a tense frown and trembles, continuing, “… I was quiet.”
Emily is leaning in with a concerned frown, one handing resting upon Abel’s arm as he rubs at his other arm and looks away to the side with an uncomfortable frown. His narration reads, “I don’t talk much about it. When I told my friends, they would just look at me in pity. They would tell me how sorry they were for my loss.”
Abel is looking unhappily down at a plate in front of him holding dark static scribbles as he continues, “I refused to eat any meals given to me. I knew it was pity food. I knew it would never fill the gaping hole in my chest…” The words “pity food” and “never” are italicized.
Abel looks up with a small sad frown at a bright star in the dark sky as he goes, “I became quiet and reserved. Nobody could know how much I was hurting.”
He looks to the side with a tensed frown and lightly furrowed eyebrows, his shoulders shaking and tears building in his eyes as he continues, “I had to be a man. I had to fill his shoes.” Abel then begins trembling with his face crumpling sadly as he goes, “I shut myself away from people who cared. Losing him changed me as a person forever.”
Abel’s narration reads, “I dream about him too…” at the top of a dark gradient page. At the bottom, Abel is holding his hands to his chest and grinning widely with tears in his shining eyes as his father stands beside him with an amused smirk.
Adam is shown raising both hands as if shrugging while he smirks toothily at his son looking up at him with joyful tears, the narration continuing, “He shows up and tells me it was all a screwed up prank, that he was just messing with me. That he’s sorry for abandoning me.” Sweat can be seen through Adam’s mask when Abel launches up to wrap his arms around his father, both grinning as Abel continues, “He hugs me.”
The scene is dark as Abel sits up with sweat running down his face and tears in his widened eyes as he goes, “But then I wake up and I realize he isn’t there anymore.”
Abel looks down and rubs at one of his eyes with a small frown as he continues, “As I rub the sleep from my eyes, I remember he’ll never be there again.” He looks down at his hands and goes, “I’m left with this hollow feeling and a bad taste like old pennies in my mouth.”
There is a scene of Adam with shadows around the sides showing him tilting his head to the side with a wide grin, golden exclamation points on each side as he flips off the viewer. Abel’s narration reads, “My dad wasn’t the most perfect person in the world. He did a lot of bad things. But he was my dad. He was the best dad I could have ever asked for.”
The final panel has Abel go, “I just wish I could tell him I love him one last time. That I forgive him.” This last sentence floats between Adam and Abel as the former faces away from his son. Abel is frowning sadly and holding his hands in front if himself while dark static obscures the face of Adam’s mask. End description.]
