Prepared For Anything Pt. 8
MasterPost, Part One, Part Seven
“M’lady.” Danny ignored the gawking faces—even the Duckling had broken his stoic facade—and bowed, sweeping his arm out in an inviting, and elegant flourish to Orphan. She accepted his proffered hand with her own: delicate, yet he knew was rough and calloused under the glove, and he took great satisfaction in the beet-redness of her face as he brought her knuckles to his lips and gently kissed it with all the reverence and respect she deserved. “Your chariot awaits.”
Point to Danny, he thought smugly to himself.
“That horse has wings.” One of them breathed. Bruisy, he thinks. Er. Nightwing, right?
Unconcerned, Danny glanced back at the carriage idling on the roof behind him and the pure-white feathers puffed up to enjoy the breeze ruffling through them.
All of them turned incredulous, some downright outraged, faces on him.
“We can see the muscles controlling them!”
“. . .It’s a medical condition.” Danny leaned in and whispered, “Angel is self-conscious about it.”
“THAT IS VERY OBVIOUSLY A PEGASUS!” Purple screeched and pointed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Danny said calmly, before turning a gentlemanly smile on Orphan. “Shall we depart?”
One of them made a throaty, screaming noise of frustration.
With a short nod—he could feel her wonder coming off of her in waves—Danny stepped aside to help her up. Not that she needed it, but Danny was a gentleman, and in gentlemanly fashion, he followed her up, grabbed the blanket he’d brought for the occasion, and laid it over her lap to stave off the chill. Like a gentleman.
“Hey—no, wait a minute!” Bruisy said, stalking closer with purpose.
Danny settled beside his courted and took the reins in his gentleman’s gloves, giving them a sharp whap.
“Cease this! I demand explanation, Fenton!”
Angel began forward, wheels starting to lift off the ground. At the sound of several screams and yells, Danny turned to look down at them.
The carriage was a bit heavy for Angel to fly with in a mortal realm with gravity, but her impressive strength was definitely enough to soar for a moment, to let wind rush through his hair, and to hop between buildings.
The chariot landed with a jolt and a clatter, ecto-plasmic-sturdy wheels hitting hard enough to make the occupants bounce half a foot in the air. Danny exhaled harshly as falling back into the cushioned bench reverberated up through his bones.
Nothing would ever sound as beautiful or as rewarding as the surprised, and delighted laugh Orphan let out, and Danny found himself grinning wildly.
Whipping his head around, Danny spotted Jason shooting his grappling gun to follow. The other bats weren’t far behind.
Looking front again, Danny whipped the sturdy leather and it cracked through the night like a whip. “Hyah!”
They were off like a shot.
Pebbles and dirt ground beneath the fast pace, hooves galloped hard against concrete, wind rushed in Danny’s face, and he leaned forward. His heart pounded for no more than the glee he took in messing with the bats, and seeing how Orphan’s eyes crinkled from a smile hidden beneath her mask.
The yellow one, Sunshine, appeared on the roof beside them. His legs were not nearly fast enough to maintain the speed of a pegas—er—malformed horse, but instead of lagging, he disappeared into shadows. And reappeared ahead of them, right within their path.
Danny could detour. But they had a reservation to make.
“My Lady.” Danny turned with a brilliant smile, holding out the reins to her. “If you would be so kind.”
Danny blushed at Orphan’s near hysterical giggle as she took them. She was clearly enjoying herself.
He cleared his throat and faced forward.
Sunshine had very obviously expected them to veer away, by the gobsmacked expression he made when Danny stood and threw a pillow at his head. Whap!
“Angel, jump!” She did, leaping over the screaming Sunshine who fell back into his shadows at the last second.
“Are you insane!?” The vigilante screeched when he popped back into existence on another roof, quickly falling behind.
“Go to bed! It’s a school night!”
In the fading distance, he heard Signal gasp loudly. Danny loved it when he guessed right.
Ka-shink. Ka-shink. Ka-shink.
Settling back into his seat, Danny peered over the edge, and caught the end line of a grappling gun swinging hard and fast between tall buildings. Coming up to soar over the crest and down again with another shot, was a blur of red and brown and black.
“Tt. If you would mind the reins for but a moment longer, M’lady.” With her nod of eager assent, Danny clambered to the top of the small overhang that would shade the riders from the sun, or. . . .bat-signal in this case, and widened his stance to account for the turbulent ride that bounced between buildings like a gazelle prancing through a meadow.
He came from the wrong side.
The carriage was fancy, embossed with rich reds and golds, but it was not large. As the carriage shuddered under the feet thudding aboard, the small coverage of the overhang was not enough to give ample space to two. Red Hood landed, forcing himself in the space Danny allowed him, if only so they both didn’t tumble off of it, and leaving them chest to chest, er. . .chest to neck.
Scandalized, he gasped. “Red Hood! I took you for a man of honour!”
Jason stilled, hands freezing mid-air. “. . .What?”
Danny covered his chest with his arms, as if protecting himself. “This is most inappropriate! To corner and preposition another’s intended—
“You mean propositi—wait, what!?”
“Have you no shame! And in such a public spac—Gasp!—remove your hands!”
Instinctually, Jason’s hands jerked up and back as if they’d been anywhere near Danny. “What are you talking about?!”
“Alas, I am too irresistible!” Danny leaned into it, literally, laid his cheek on Jason’s chest—gaining a strangled noise out of the man—hugged him with one arm, and draped the back of the other over his head.
Actually, this was kinda nice. Jason was like a big, warm, kevlar-covered teddy bear.
“’Tis but a smelly rose, something, something, buy a sweet name!”
Support suddenly gone, Danny staggered to catch himself, and saw a glimpse of red disappearing over the side of a building.
Danny righted himself and cleared his throat, rolling with the bumps. “Right. Okay.” He muttered before climbing back down. Orphan was laughing at him.
The bats seemed to have given up. That, or they’d finally lost them. They were experienced vigilantes, but even in peak form they couldn’t outrun a (ahem) horse.
Danny took over driving once more and the two occupants sat in companionable silence, enjoying the view and the night air. When they neared their destination, Danny directed Angel to descend to the streets below, before pulling up to the fanciest restaurant he’d been able to find in Gotham. A very large sum of money, which was a pittance to the totality of his vault’s contents, easily found them a reservation and not on a waiting list.
Danny disembarked first, straightened out the suit Sam had picked out for him, adjusted the plain black domino mask he’d adorned for the purpose of this evening, and outstretched his hand with a flourish and bowed head. “M’lady.”
“Kind Sir.” Orphan said softly and took it, stepping down delicately and presenting the perfect image of a high-born lady that could kill you with one look if she so chose.
Danny didn’t doubt she could.
He hadn’t considered before they’d arrived that people would notice the horse-drawn carriage. Civilians who were brave enough to linger this late, which was a surprising number of people considering the crime rates, stopped and gawked no matter the age.
Some had their phones out.
Danny and Orphan turned to see Red Robin materializing from an alley.
“Fanny Denton. Really? At least pick something more original. And I took my bike. Duh. Now. Mind telling me how—”
“You can take Angel if you lead the others on a wild goose chase.” Danny spurt quickly in one breath.
The change was immediate. Tim perked. An evil, little smile grew on the vigilante’s mouth. “Deal.” He was already stalking towards the animal, making to greet her before ordering her around. Probably a good idea.
“Pet her flank; she likes that.” Danny called as he took Orphan’s hand in the crook of his arm and walked to the entrance.
He opened the door for her, like the gentlemanly gentleman he was, and entered the most expensive-looking food eating place he had ever been in.
The receptionist behind the podium looked up, and her eyes turned starry-eyed when they caught on Orphan. As they should.
“W-welcome! Do you have a reservation?” She asked brightly.
The barest of glances was spent for her book laid open on her podium before she was moving away. “Yes, right this way!”
If the restaurant was fancy, the people were even more so. Bejewelled women in expensive silks and sparkling gems accompanied by various versions of Vlad in gold watches, cufflinks, and rich ties all did double takes at the pair as they passed by.
Of course, being the gentleman that Danny was, tipped his top-hat to the nearest person on the left.
And on the right. And another person on the left as they went by.
The hostess lead them to the back where a heavy, wooden door was opened to a private room, set up with a small, square table draped in a black tablecloth. A single candle entrapped in a gold-gilded, glass cage was set between the two chairs on either side. No windows: the perfect place for Orphan to replace her mouth covering for a domino for when the food came.
Entering first, Danny pulled out Orphan’s chair for her, and went ‘round to sit in his own.
The hostess went to alert a server of their arrival.
The conversation had been going splendidly. Perfectly. Amazingly. Everything new Danny learned about Orphan made him hunger for more, crave for every morsel she would give him. She danced. She was a ballerina, and Danny had decided then that ballerinas were the epitome of existence.
It was hard work to maintain the kind of strength and agility needed to be a dancer requiring such dedication.
She spoke of her recitals and told him she’d like him to attend one in the future, which he’d readily agreed to. Was honoured that she would like him there, that she would be comfortable sharing her identity at some point.
They’d delved a little into Danny’s interests.
And it had been going splendidly until: “I can take you sometime.”
It had just come out. Without thought or consequence. Orphan had expressed interest in his interests, asked questions about the things he liked to talk about, and he’d lost focus.
Normally, there would be nothing unusual about this line.
If they hadn’t been speaking about space.
Danny blinked, rebooting, as he realized what he’d said.
Orphan’s’ glass paused half-way to her mouth. Her head tilted in the most adorable way.
Talk about being saved by the scream.
Both leapt out of their seats and lunged silently for the door, listened for a half second to the intruders yelling at patrons to hand over their valuables, and eased it open. Danny was thankful for the well-oiled hinges.
Creeping down the hall, they paused before the corner as to not be seen, and crouched low to the ground.
Four men slithered through the tables and occupants with backpacks, waving guns facilitating quick divestment of necklaces and rings and gold and whatever shiny thing the rich hadn’t been fortunate enough to hide in time. A few wept quietly, shaking in fear and others in anger. The scowling face of one woman was red with blood pressure.
Glancing back, Danny met Orphan’s gaze freed from the domino, and she nodded.
Except, they were interrupted.
Clang! Red Birdy dropped from somewhere above.
Bam! Bang! Bang! “Ah!” Red Hood kicked in the front door, guns firing, with the Duckling coming in behind with knives already airborne.
Fwap! Purple and Bruisy blew in through the flip-flappy door that led to the kitchen.
Reaching to the side of his hip, Danny gripped a knob, and yanked a gentleman’s walking stick from his pant leg. He and Orphan jumped into the fray, disarming weapons and knocking the men out, the crack of the walking stick loud. It was laughable, really, how quickly it went down.
Danny used a small roll of duct tape to bind his guy’s wrists together while Orphan got his ankles, and he sighed, irritated, as he stood. Orphan came up next to him, hands on her cocked hips. They felt similarly, then. Was it strange that he loved that?
“Really?” Danny crossed his arms.
Bruisy cleared his throat as he stood, having finished zip-tying another guy’s wrists. “What?”
Oh. He was trying to play casual? Cute.
“You were spying on us.” Danny narrowed his eyes at them. It was the only explanation for their swift interference. “And you!” He pointed at Red Birdy. “We had a deal!”
Red Birdy shrugged, unrepentant as he let a body fall limp to the ground. “They caught up.”
“Still a traitor.” Purple muttered mutinously and crossed her arms.
“As if you wouldn’t have done the same thing!” Red Birdy pointed an accusing finger.
“Please. I would have stolen her and screwed Danny over!”
‘Wow. What high aspirations.’ Danny thought dryly to himself.
“I demand to personally assess the creature.”
“You mean you want a turn to ride her.” Jason drawled as he hefted one of the bags of goods onto an empty chair, which he leaned on.
The Duckling’s face went adorably red. “I do not!” He shrilled.
Red Birdy shrugged and made an “I don’t know” noise. “Somewhere on a roof, probably.”
“Anybody hurt?” Bruisy called to the crowds.
“Wait.” A weepy-eyed woman warbled, and before Danny turned to look at the middle-aged woman with light, brown hair pulled into an up-do, he would have guessed she was still crying. Her face leaked mascara and she sniffled into a tissue and dabbed at her eyes, while her other hand worked a glittering earring back into her ear. “You were spying on Orphan on her date?” That sure was a quick turn-around from distressed to nosy neighbour.
“Uhh.” The bats collectively froze.
“. . .Undercover mission.” The Duckling cleared his throat and sheathed his katana. “Obviously.”
“Sounds toxic.” Said the bad guy at Danny’s feet.
“Thank you!” The halfa said.
“You don’t get a vote!” Bruisy exclaimed at the would-be thief.
“Wait, so was it a mission or not?” A random man with a goatee in the back asked.
“Not.” Danny said when everyone else minus Orphan said “yes.”
The vigilantes and Danny glared at each other.
“Does Batman know about this?” Another said.
Sirens sounded in the distance.
“Oh! Welp, that’s our cue!” Purple made to flee with the others.
Danny rolled his eyes and took Orphan’s hand to follow. It would not be very gentlemanly to stay and make her suffer through interrogations. The bats had ruined any chance of finishing their time here, anyway.
At least they’d had their food.
As Danny and Orphan exited, pulling up like the perfect valet, was Angel, carriage in tow. Without stopping, the couple ran and jumped in.
The race was on once again. The rumble of an engine being turned over echoed from a nearby alley, and Danny flicked the reins, urging Angel to speed up. Red Birdy trailed just behind on wheels. The others had learned from him, having called for their own.
The city had gone to sleep, shops turned down, the majority of restaurants having long closed, and the the streets were bereft of crazy traffic. The lamps pouring ominous spotlights along the roads were dull, one broken for every four that flickered.
Gun shots cracked echoes through the streets, sirens wailed near and far like banshees premonitioning deaths, and there was yelling and screaming up ahead mixed with the rain of bullets that disclosed the location to the vigilantes.
Orphan tapped against the com in her ear. She looked to him and they shared a nod.
Danny didn’t mind taking a detour.
Danny tsked, like a disappointed parent.
They turned and came upon a veritable war zone. On both sides, half-collapsed buildings were aflame, cars shielded men and women from sprays of bullets embedding into the metal, and dead bodies speckled the road here and there.
Not expecting to so quickly be amidst the chaos, Danny inhaled sharply, grabbed a couple cast iron frying pans from behind him, handed one to Orphan, and deflected the bullets pinging off of it as they shot down the centre of it all. Danny swung the pan back and forth like a fly swatter, ensuring Orphan didn’t get hit behind him. He protected her back and she protected his.
Danny could sigh in bliss. This was what true love was.
“Jump.” Orphan confirmed.
The couple stayed near each other as Angel shot into the sky, slamming the flats of their pans into heads and knees and backs. . . well, Danny did. Orphan was more versatile, using her limbs or pan, whichever suited her in the moment. He had to consciously make himself focus so he didn’t end up watching her movements.
It was like the white rapids of a river: dangerous, fluid, entrancing, and graceful in it’s torrents.
The other bats weaved among the area, taking gang members down swiftly and efficiently.
“Is that a frying pan?” Jason called over the fighting.
“What, didn’t have a bazooka under that jacket?! Bruisy added, coming across oddly mocking for some reason.
Danny dodged a punch. “What? No? That doesn’t sound safe at all!”
Purple barked an incredulous laugh.
“That is not a suitable weapon.”
Oh, bat-dad was here! He didn’t look to be in a good mood.
A guy coming up behind Orphan raised his gun. Danny scoffed. “Have you not seen tangled!? It’s very multifaceted!” The frying pan whined through the air as Danny hit the guy over the head with a satisfying thunk.
It took five minutes tops to subdue the gang members with people brought down like flies every few seconds, vigilantes flitting like birds on the wind between them all and leaving bodies in their wakes. It was cool.
Panting, the bats came together after it was all over, fireman on scene, and cops conveniently absent. Red Birdy propped his hands on his hips, giving Danny a look behind the mask, though he didn’t know for the world why. Bat-dad joined, gaze not straying from Danny.
“Hey.” Danny gave a quick wave, setting his hands on his own hips. How as he supposed to greet him? Did Bat-dad like him? Danny wanted him to like him.
Counting the vigilantes, he found one to be missing.
“Where’s Duck—er. Robin?”
The rush of wind and near silent flapping preceded the boy’s voice, and everyone turned to see the carriage Robin occupied descending to the streets. As Angel’s hooves thundered onto the pavement, Bat-dad’s head slowly turned from the animal to stare at Danny. If the halfa could see his eyes, he’d bet he wasn’t blinking.
Danny showed teeth. Bat-dad was impressed with his daughter’s transportation. Right? Everyone else had seemed to be.
Without looking away, Bat-dad grunted and Duckling responded like he’d been given a full, comprehensible sentence. “Fenton arrived in Crime Alley at 11:03 with a pegasus—
“. . .a pegasus! and carriage.”
“At 11:05, Orphan and Fenton boarded and absconded across the rooftops. We pursued. Red Robin extrapolated their destination by assumption of activity and probable venues and correlated patterns, and met them at Ce restaurant est une couverture at 11:10. However—“ Duckling narrowed vicious eyes at Red Birdy who grinned. “Red Robin was weak and succumbed to enemy solicitation and mislead us with said carriage until 11:40, at which we apprehended Red Robin with bribes of caffeine—“
Danny gasped loudly in offence. That was all it took?!
“—and monitored Ce restaurant est une couverture for unscrupulous activity. At 12:30, armed, petty criminals burglarized the patrons and we promptly quelled the situation. At 12:35, Orphan and Fenton intended to once more flee, but were distracted by the latest gang fight. End of report.”
“You have a pegasus.” Bat-dad said and Danny resisted the urge to find another water bottle for the guy’s throat. It hadn't been well-received last time.
“Oh. No, no. Angel isn’t mine. She was doing me a favour.” Angel snorted indignantly.
The vigilantes all looked at him with varying degrees of disbelief and confusion.
“She is sentient?” Duckling perked.
“Would she be amenable to taking residence with me?”
“Uhh, Da—Robin, I don’t think—“
“Oof.” Danny’s cheeks puffed with air and released. “I dunno. Her rates are steep for that sorta thing.”
Purple seemed to break from the stupor first. “Rates??”
“Well, yeah. Do you know how coveted p—er—malformed horses are with the livvvvveeeer people, people with livers?”
Everyone was looking at him like he was crazy, but what else was new?
“How else is she supposed to make bank?”
“. . .But she’s an animal?!”
“What currency?” Duckling asked, and aww, he seemed so sincere.
“Eh. Whatever.” Danny shrugged. “If you don’t have what she wants when you call for her taxiing services, then she scrams. Live-in rates are even higher.”
“Taxiing services. . .” Jason repeated faintly.
Like the weight of a building rested on his shoulders, Batman’s head drooped with a massive sigh, nose-bridge pinched between his fingers. He was probably old. Why was he out here and not in bed?
This seemed like a good time to leave before Danny was asked anything else, and he looked upwards to the other end of the street as if something had caught his attention. When everyone followed his gaze, he phased into the ground.
That would never get old.
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