jae

27 | she/they | goblin princess vibes

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Imagine Regulus being so disgusted with himself for falling in love with a Gryffindor and James would do anything for Regulus so he requests to be resorted his seventh year (unheard of) and is obviously denied. The Marauders then break into Dumbledore’s office and steal the sorting hat. Sirius stands up on the table in the middle of a random Thursday lunch and announces to everyone that there will be a new sorting. Peter puts the hat on James, who is undeniably so Gryffindor that the hat sorts him there again. Remus loudly proclaims “a Gryffindor-squared, now, Regulus” from across the room as everyone bursts into applause. Regulus is so in love with this stupid idiot, he just face palms while his friends laugh at him. The only complaint the sorting hat gave was that they thought it could be wrong with the original sorting???

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American Football AU where James’ team is playing the SuperBowl and Regulus is doing the Halftime show.

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*watching James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus do something stupid*

Mary: those boys share a brain cell, I swear.

Marlene: I think they loaned it out years ago.

Lily: and forgot to get it back.

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Marauders era as YouTubers/streamers during the Among Us era.

James/Sirius: always covering for one another when they’re the imposter

Remus: an absolute menace and gaslighting people

Peter: an angel that just does his tasks and skips during voting

Regulus/Barty: wants to be the imposter every time but never gets it

Evan: walks around talking to everyone on voice chat and has the best clips

Pandora: never gets imposter but always guesses who it is and helps them

Marlene: talks shit to get killed first so her ghost can float around and be a menace

Dorcas: terrorizes her chat and somehow has the most followers

Lily/Mary: always gets away with being the imposter and wins

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I eat up those sentences in fics that tie into canon like no other. Every single time. Doesn’t matter the au.

“Regulus can’t swim.”

“Peter is the worst at keeping secrets.”

“Barty does seem the type to keep a man hostage.”

“James, you forgot your wand again!”

“Sirius, you dog!”

“Mary is so forgetful.”

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James: *frolicking through hogwarts*

Sirius, Remus, and Peter: *on guard, ready to protect their golden retriever sunshine boy at all costs*

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Regulus: maman didn’t raise a bitch.

Regulus: and if she did, it was Sirius.

Sirius: actually, maman didn’t raise anyone. I did.

Regulus: correction, Sirius raised one bitch and it wasn’t me.

Sirius: exactly- HEY

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Remus: Sirius, sit down!

Sirius: I’m sat.

…

James: *glances at Regulus*

Regulus: not on your life, Potter.

James: understood.

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Referencing this amazing TikTok idea: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRE3Rym2/

Luna is the prophesied child so the Slytherins do whatever they can to protect her. But imagine this: Luna is hidden away with her father while her mother and her friends take care of Voldemort and the Death Eater threats.

Pandora is the secret keeper, and as a seer she’s hidden away separately to be able to feed visions to the Skittles as needed.

Evan is a master duelist. Canonically he won against many trained aurors as a young adult. He would be on the front lines battling to protect his sister and niece.

Dorcas was a direct threat to Voldemort canonically. She was on his hit list and personally killed by him, so she would 100% use that to her advantage to steer him and his followers away from Pandora and her family.

Barty is no slump. He’s a genius. He would be the go between with Pandora and the rest. He would take her visions and plan with the rest on how to make sure everyone they cared about came out of this alive. He would strategically plan Dorcas’ moves, Evan’s duels, and make sure Pandora and her family were safe.

And Regulus? That man has power. He’s their spy. The Heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. He would play Voldemort and the Death Eaters like a piano. He would feed Barty information about the horcruxes, he would make sure Dorcas never failed her missions, he would make sure Evan walked out of every duel with little to no scratches on him.

These five don’t fight on Voldemorts or Dumbledores sides. They are on the side of winning. They are Luna’s protectors. Nothing would touch their miracle baby.

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Mamas boy this and daddys girl that. The marauders era kids have a favorite Potter parent and it’s like this.

Effie’s children: Sirius, Peter, Marlene, Evan, Pandora, Lily

Monty’s children: Regulus, Remus, Barty, Dorcas, Mary

James is the exception because he fucking loves his parents and is happy to share them with his broken home friends.

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I get so sad sometimes thinking about Remus struggling with the full moons and his transformations. He was still a toddler when he was forcibly changed. He spent a decade going through that alone, and then his best friends did something completely stupid and loving to help him. And they helped. It got so much easier running with Prongs and Padfoot. The scratches on his back that he couldn’t reach soothed by Wormtail clambering over him to keep on for the ride. And all in one night he was back to zero. No help, no relief, nothing. And it felt like he would never have that again, before Sirius came back. It was never the same, sure, but it was enough for a while. Those years spent in hiding, just him and Sirius. Padfoot was enough. And then he was taken, again. And Remus was alone, again. Poor Moony could never quite catch a break, could he?

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being a marauders fan is a red flag.

it’s also an orange flag.

and a yellow flag. and a green, a blue and a purple one.

you’re gay.

happy pride month.

i love you.

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Sirius: Happy Father’s Day to the best daddy around

Sirius: *posts a picture of Remus*

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Full House but it’s the Marauders helping James and Lily raise Harry.

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Sirius: just because men CANT get pregnant, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your absolute hardest to make it happen. Do better.

Remus:

James:

Regulus: wait he’s onto something.

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Imagining a muggle au where Regulus is Draco’s godfather and Narcissa asks him to pick Draco up from preschool/daycare one day because something came up and he goes and Draco is so excited to see Uncle Reggie that he drags Regulus around to show him his cubbie and the artwork that they worked on that day and when it’s time to leave they run into the most gorgeous man Regulus has ever seen who greets Draco by name while holding the hand of a boy that is literally his spitting image and Regulus just stares as this man introduces himself as James Potter, along with his son Harry. Regulus begins to regularly pick up Draco just to continue to run into James and everyone teases him about his crush on the man while he vehemently denies it until one day James asks if he wants to meet up to take the boys on a play date and after they spend the whole day taking the boys to the zoo and getting ice cream (some randomly lady stops them, thinking they are a blended family and comments how beautiful they are together, which makes Regulus die inside) they continue to text until Regulus finally gets the balls to ask James out on a date and James just says “isn’t that what we’ve been doing, love?” Ughhhhh.

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someone on TikTok said that if Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa were boys they would be more popular in the fandom and I cannot stop thinking about it.

Like Bellatrix is literally just the female version of Regulus, Barty, and Evan. She, too, was a death eater. She too followed Voldemort. If they are redeemable in the eyes of the fandom, why isn’t she?

Andromeda walked so Sirius could run (literally). She left the family too. Why isn’t her story explored? Why isn’t she talked about more and written about in fics?

Narcissa is just the woman version of Draco and Regulus. The sibling left behind, the person that made the wrong choices but then chose right at the end. If she was a boy y’all would be drowning in her headcanons and fics.

Let the misogyny in the marauders fandom die. The girls are just as (if not more in a lot of cases) interesting and important as the boys.