Star Powered.

HSV2 since 30-Oct-15.... Just trying to Live a Happy Life😊

[stargirl2205]

Freedom.

It’s weird, when I first got diagnosed I swore my life was over. Who would want me now. And trust me it’s been a lot of rejection but now going into my third year with herpes. It feels almost a lifetime away when I got my diagnosis and felt hopeless.

I guess what I am really saying is to all out there with recent diagnoses, life gets better. I know it sounds cliche and like something in the doctors office brochures about stds. But it really does. My herpes has weeded some bad men from my life and brought the best of companions I could ever ask for. It brought us closer than ever. Sorry to digress so long, but yea. Initial diagnosis sucks. Disclosing sucks. Outbreaks suck! But life doesn’t. I can best describe herpes outbreak as the fricking annoying sore throat when you have it, it feels like the worst thing ever in the world, but in less than a weeks time that shit is gone and we are back to life as normal.

Trust me the frequency of outbreaks have reduced so much I don’t even remember sometimes.

I said all this to say. It’s not the end of the world. It’s the beginning of freedom. Freedom to accept and love yourself more than anyone ever. Freedom to speak your truth to who deserve it. And freedom to live your truth with ppl who love you through it all.

[talon-rose]

The Stages of  Grief (Herpes Edition)

Denial. I woke up on a Monday morning; after a Sunday night of rough sex. I went to the bathroom and could barely get anything out. Great, I have a UTI because I fell asleep right after. *Eye-roll* Days go by, I’m drinking tons of water, drinking sugar-free cranberry juice. My UTI is not letting up. I should go see a doctor. Thursday comes along and I have to go to the ER because I am in so much pain when I do pee. Extreme burning. Extremely fatigued. My bladder is spasming - which is painful. I get some antibiotics, and some medication to help with the bladder spasming. I am informed that if I vomit, I need to come back. Friday at 4AM, I projectile vomit all over the bathroom. I resort to peeing in the shower because water helps take away the sting. I cry. I touch my labia, and that’s when I notice it… a bump. What the fuck is this? I take a picture (after getting out of the shower). Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I have herpes. Friday at 10PM, I work up enough courage to go back to the ER. I get the visual diagnosis, and swabs done to confirm.

Anger. In the moments following the visual diagnosis. I am crying. My life is ruined. No one will love me. My boyfriend is going to accuse me of cheating, and I have done nothing wrong! Why does this hurt so bad? I should go over to his house and confront him! How is he going to do this to me?! He told me he got checked for STD’s and was clear! I shouldn’t have trusted him.

Bargaining. Why can’t I have chlamydia? What about gonorrhea? Why did I have to get something that’s incurable? Why me? What did I do wrong?

Depression. I didn’t move for days; with the exception of going to my partners house to inform him of my 2AM diagnosis. We cried together, and he apologized. I went home, called off work, and laid in bed. I cried. I wondered how I was going to tell my mom. What was she going to think of my boyfriend that she already didn’t like? Should I just commit suicide? Is life even worth living at this point?

Acceptance. This only came with research. Ninety percent of people have HSV. One in Five have genital herpes. I am not alone. I am not a minority. I can still have children. I can still live a normal life. I am a human being. I am not dirty. I did nothing wrong. Life is still worth living; it is beautiful, even when it’s painful. Not everyone is worthy to know of my diagnosis. My mom doesn’t need to know. My gossipy friend does not need to know. The only person that needs to know is myself, my partner, and any future partners. Herpes does not change me, it does not make me.

[stargirl2205]

Disclosure time again

So yup. Once again being isolated by this guy I was so into. This talk he had. How he would love me regardless. It’s so much bs. The relationship has been short and new but I felt like we were gonna have sex so I disclosed… quite emotionally if I might add and now nothing. It’s like I’m begging to hear him. And I know I have to be strong and be like fuck him if he can’t see how awesome I am with or without herpes. But it hurts. It hurts so bad. Because I knew I shouldn’t have told him. I should have just pushed him off me and ran away. But I took a promise to always disclose.

Why are people such jackasses. Why is this always an issue. Why do I have to love so hard and be squashed all the time. Why does herpes run people. Like I don’t get it!!! I’m no different than the girl you supposedly loved 2 minutes ago.

I’m just a girl who wants to love and be loved back. Wholly and fully.

[herpessupport]

The worst part about herpes part II

I suffer from stigma, not a disease.

[stargirl2205]

Nerve Pain

Fuck you herpes!! Two OBs in the space of 2 weeks. Damn you boyfriend drama!!! Thought the second year was supposed to be less OBs. Sigh I need back my Acyclovir tablets and ointment!!! Damn you herpes again!!! Just when I thought I’d put you behind me you come and poke your annoying ass out again!!!!

[glitterb]

I missed it.

12/21/16 marked the one year anniversary of my life with the herpes simplex virus type two.

and I missed it.

I missed it. At first I was sad because I wanted to do some sort of something to mark the day I caught a virus that at that time I thought would flip my world upside down.

I mean, I guess it did, but not in the way that I thought at first. I vaguely remember the fear that shot through my body when I first suspected I was positive. I vaguely remember the phone call and looking at my best friend and being heartbroken that I was right. I vaguely remember the absolute dread I woke up with so many mornings and nights. The alcohol. The self destruction. The tears. The horrible feeling of feeling so… different and untouchable and scared.

But that didn’t last long. I remember reading everything I could find about herpes. I remember making the decision that this would NOT be a dirty little secret. In fact, why keep it a secret at all? It’s not dirty; it’s misunderstood. Because I caught the herps, I have had the amazing opportunity to help others in their diagnosis and educate others about an STI (and many others) that is not as big and scary as most people think. As I thought. I have had good disclosure experiences and I have learned that I will survive every disclosure experience that may not go as one might hope.

I forgot about my anniversary because I have learned that the herps can only kick your ass as much as you allow it to.

I’ve grown so much because of my diagnosis. Although it may be inconvenient at times, the good that it has brought to me and the amount I have grown as a person was worth every tear I shed in the aftermath of finding out that I have a little virus chilling in my nerves. I’m so proud of myself because I missed it . :)

Keep your head up. Your glitter isn’t going to kill you. Or anyone else.

So make it your bitch. Own it.

🖤🖤🖤✨✨✨

[stargirl2205]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[stargirl2205]

One year

It’s just under a year ago I was freaking in the doctors office about the thought of what that little sore on my private area could be.

Yes I’ve had my ups and downs, but overall, I’m so much stronger and wiser because of it. I’ve met some really cool people here on Tumblr and to be quite honest my life has been better because of it. I eat better, I exercise better, I make better choices in men, I even manage stress better.

So as I approach this herpeversary I just want to say how thankful for each and every one of you for your support, your words just everything. And to all you new herpblr folks, it gets better, life goes on. And in some cases like mine gets better!!!

[jwstudying]

SELF CARE CHEAT SHEET!!

how to treat yourself on a low budget

what to do after a long day

how not to be hard on yourself

staying healthy while studying

how to deal with mental illness

feel better masterpost

hygiene/beauty masterpost | my make up masterpost | make up masterpost | simple steps for perfect make up | more make up tips

6 ab moves 

hair oil benefits

what is your acne telling you?

headaches

masterpost for rough times

the sex ed your parents didn’t give you

head to toe self care

blow job tips

limits of the human body

when to change your toothbrush, workouts etc

useful hoe tips

shaving your vagina

foods that fix everything

22 less difficult ways to practise self care

self care wheel

bad habits and how to break them

stop biting nails

stop procrastinating 

stop skipping breakfast

stop cracking knuckles

stop falling asleep late

boost your confidence

list of stress relievers

remove a splinter

smoothie masterpost

morning yoga

hair masterpost

self care masterpost

period hacks | alleviate menstrual cramps

sounds to soothe anxiety | another tip

what to eat before you run

self care infographic 

study guide for health (basic first aid, healthy hobbies etc)

a+ self care advice | more lovely advice

coping skills

feeling sad?

7 ways to say ‘no’

what to do with food poisoning

self talk to end obsessions

self care ideas/tips

other cheat sheets

[zionsun]

Reblog. Save a life

[cuteasacoldsore]

Just because

someone accepts your HSV diagnosis, doesn’t mean that you need to lower your standards for them.

someone accepts your HSV diagnosis, doesn’t mean that you have to stay with them when they don’t treat you right

someone rejects your HSV diagnosis, doesn’t mean you are any less of the human that you were before that maggot told you what they think

someone rejects your HSV diagnosis, doesn’t mean that you are not a beautiful bird who deserve to soar and shit on that small minded human’s head

just because you have herpes, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved.

[skinny2sexy-deactivated20190609]

Its so important to love and respect yourself ❤

[safesextiger]

Truth.

[stargirl2205]

Preach

[teletubbie-custard-deactivated2]

this whole “not disclosing” thing absolutely disgusts me.

It doesn’t matter if we see it as “just” a skin condition. 

It doesn’t matter if the transmission rate is 1-2%.

IT IS NOT AN “ASSUMED” RISK. 

IT IS A BIG DEAL TO FIND OUT YOU HAVE HERPES IF YOU DIDN’T EXPECT TO GET IT.

Don’t you dare go around thinking that it’s not going to be a problem if you don’t tell them first, because if they have sex with you not knowing what they were getting themselves into, and they got it, then fuck you.

It’s not fair, when you wake up one morning and find out you have it. IT’S NOT FUCKING FAIR.

We don’t need more shitty stigma surrounding this. The more people know about it, the less shit we’ll have to deal with.

Stop being selfish.

DISCLOSE. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[my-life-with-hsv]

STOP THE STIGMA

Things that HSV is not:

Shameful

Your own fault

Exclusively Sexually Transmitted

Dirty

Disgusting

Horrifying

The mark of promiscuity

Debilitating

Life-ruining

A mark of unworthiness 

100% likely to transmit every time

Un-treatable/Un-controllable

Consistently agonizing 

Excruciatingly painful every outbreak

Rare and only effects 16% of the population

Impossible to contract with condom use

Impossible for you to ever contract.

Things that HSV is:

A common skin condition

Easily treated and managed with medication

Affects 75%-80% of Americans (either Type 1 or 2) 

Often contracted through kissing and oral sex

Less likely to have outbreaks as you age

Sometimes painless 

Sometimes no symptoms

Every time you laugh at herpes as the butt of a joke,

Every time you talk about how disgusting it is,

You’re probably hurting somebody that you care about. 

Stop the stigma.

[stargirl2205]

Hey guys,

Its been 4 days since my disclosure to my partner who just the hour before was declaring his unconditional love for me and how our life together is going to be. I’ve come to terms with my HSV2. I’m honestly OK with it. But this has me messed up.

Now he can’t even bare to tell me he loves me and he doesn’t want to talk about it. He just say a let it rest. Its killing me inside to know how he feels. And I know its dumb. I should try to move on. I really should. I’m going to.

This experience makes me doubt myself in wanting to share my status with anyone. It makes me feel so closed off from everyone else. It makes me feel alone in my world.

This glitter really truly shows you what sort of individuals you have in your life. His words were just empty. They were never true. It hurts so much. So here I am at work crying my eyes out hoping for some form of relief.

So herpblr here it is. Writing my feelings out is really therapeutic for me. So thanks for following along and being here.

Please feel free to reblog, comment, anything I could use words of encouragement right now.

[stargirl2205]

Disclosure time again. Do I really have to though?!?

Once again I'm getting anxiety about telling this man this wonderful man about my herpes diagnosis. I'm so scared that he will leave. Idk what to say or do anymore. Maybe I should wait until we both fall in love to tell him. We haven't been intimate. Don't plan to be until after marriage. But I don't want to lie to him either. I want him to love me with it and still want me. I'm so conflicted. Should I just leave the talk until later when we both are deeply in love or should I just be honest from now?

[stargirl2205]

Day 2

Day two of this awful nerve pain... why herpes?!? I'm so over this. Eye pain and back pain. Help anyone!!! I feel to overdose on painkillers!!! Help!!!

[stargirl2205]

Arghhh!!!!

Dear Herpes Please remove your nerve pain from my back and legs. It has been going for the last 24 hours. Thanks it would be great also if you could stop the eye pain and headaches. Sincerely a lady in Pain.

[dreamhousetogo]

The Salish Cottage at Wildwood Lakefront Cottages

[stargirl2205]

Dream Tiny House!!!!

[stargirl2205]

OB killing me!!!

Sigh this is the first ob I had in forever and it sure is a bitch. It reminds me of my primary ob. It's so painful!!!! Sigh I hate this virus!!! It's that one spot where it always comes. It doesn't go anywhere else. Just this one spot on the lips of my vag that has the herps!!!!! Sigh help!!!