(mcu) tony stark is canonically:
abused and emotionally neglected by his also alcoholic father in his entire childhood (*the mcu does confirm this even if it tries to paint howard in a "good" light, check the comics related to im2)
also visibly groomed and almost egregiously killed by his mentor who took him in when tony was young, essentially taking advantage of that to take over stark industries and the belic industry
traumatized with clear (complex?) ptsd and panic attacks
responsible of his weapons being illegally sold to terrorize ppl (ofc i agree the portrayal in the movie is flawed, but he doesn't even mean to expose it to the media for status. well he said iron man to the journalists which is my next point:)
heavily punished for the consequences of his actions - revealing his identity to the world, especially for trying to mess with a known terrorist in live TV. iron man 2 and 3 are all about the direct and indirect consequences of his actions, and also his father's legacy, remember howard is the one that created stark industries in the first place. and tony ultimately decides no i'm not my father, i don't need to be him, i'm not gonna continue this cycle of war and violence neither at myself or other ppl
uninterested to work with the military from the very beginning, perfectly knew the government would take his suits and transform them in military weapons. this is the whole fucking plot of iron man 2? it's presented as a bad thing?? stane wanted to create an armor of iron men, in im2 it does happen and it's a fucking disaster!!! tony didn't want the iron men used in war! they would 100% kill innocent ppl with his suits just like they did his weapons before. why would tony want that???
manipulated by wanda with the vision of all his allies dead
still perfectly willing to take up responsibility for ultron
the creator of vision, consequently taking away jarvis the only remaining connection he had to his beloved father figure
the most dedicated to keep the avengers together
the first one to want to listen to steve without immediately trusting the government. he actually changes his mind after team cap is arrested! he talks to sam! he tries to understand where steve comes from and doesn't actually fight bucky until the news of his parents. which he has every goddamn reason not to be "rational" about btw
even after losing his team, still a caring mentor/father figure to peter parker. ofc he was unreachable at first, but after homecoming he made sure he and peter were on the same page! they regularly began to communicate!
a good friend to harley keener, gave him all the good tech! and avenged his dora watch
nebula's first friend and the first person who tells nebula she's a winner, not comparing her to gamora or anyone else knowing exactly how it is to have a father that doesn't love them
the group's dad friend. really. he takes care of everyone. he's the first to reach out. he doesn't judge thor at all iirc!
the best dad in the entire mcu (ofc right there with scott lang but scott is actually canonically best grandma, so tony is best dad, it's canon)
the entire back of the franchise. whether you like this or not
feel free to add to the list i certainly forgot something but here you go