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@starlightsandshadows
Hello hello!!
I'll basically write (and talk) about:
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Todo se fue a la chingada.
Summary: Patton and Virgil are breaking up after 6 months of dancing around it and faking the love that they don't have anymore. Warnings: Curses, anxiety attack, breakdown, fight, yelling, and breakup. There are no good or bad sides, it's just a relationship falling apart.
Word count: 1354
You can also read it here, in AO3!
"I promise I wanted to tell you! I just didn't know how..." He squirmed at the steely green glare.
"It was difficult, and if you think about it... it was kinda your fault too." He said but quickly regretted saying a word. "I mean..."
"Just stop, I can't believe I had to wait for this shit all this time!" He laughed exasperated, passing his fingers through his hair as he tried to calm down.
"Babe..." The blond man tried to get closer to the purple-haired one. "I'm sorry for taking this long to tell you, but I didn't..."
"Ya didn't trust me?" He chuckles and takes a step back, refusing to be touched by the other. "Don't make me laugh, Patton." A low growl could be heard after the name.
"I... How did you know?" The moral side was taken aback by the way his... probably ex-partner said his name. "What I mean is... it's not that I don't trust ya... It's just that your presence... Well..." He sighed, it was a hard topic to touch and the attitude taken by the other man was making Patton extremely uncomfortable.
"You have no idea how much I waited for these words, Patton." Virgil smiled, his cheeks red and puffed by full nights of crying. "I'm glad you're finally telling me what I thought all this time..."
"Virgil, don't do that..." Patton looked down, his heart ached as he tried to understand the weight of those words 'I waited for these words' What? Did he know? It's not possible, he hasn't told anyone anything!
"Listen, Patton... I'm tired of feeling like this!" He let go of a faux laugh and shake his head, "I'm tired of being patient, of being kind and empathetic. For once I just want to let go of everything I think and feel. And right now? Everything about you makes me angry."
"Talking about you? That's new..." Patton replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "It's not my fault you made me feel like that months ago!" He huffed, his heart pounding so hard he felt like it was going to explode.
"Oh, excuse me, I forgot with you it doesn't fucking matter that someone apologizes! That they genuinely feel bad and change. It just matters that you felt bad MONTHS AGO." Virgil shouted, the rage in his voice could be heard all the place.
"You fucked with my brain, with my trust. I can't just forgive you!" Patton growled fixing his glasses and huffing. "And even if you changed... I can't just... Move on, y'know?"
"Then go." Virgil sighed, tired of being the bad guy again. "Fucking go and don't come back. If you want a bad guy for your fucking fairytale, here I am."
"Stop trying to be a martyr, Virgil." Patton cut him off, growing angrier and angrier. "I stayed because you were trying to change! Because I loved you so deeply I didn’t want this to just... finish."
"Are you kidding me?" He laughed, shaking his head. "You don't even love me anymore, you are here because you are so afraid of being alone..." He stopped completely, shocked at his own words. "I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry-"
"You are right, I'm scared of the loneliness that will follow this breakup. I'm sorry I could never top Roman's love." Patton replied bitterly. "And maybe I stopped loving you that way but I swear to god I never stopped caring for you, loving our time together..." He finally added after some seconds of thinking.
"I wish I could believe you..." Virgil smiled a pained and sad smile at Patton, he could still remember the day everything went wrong.
After a month of stressful anxiety, he had a massive breakdown and everything was too much for him, sadly, Patton was also very stressed and needy and their personalities weren't good together in that type of scenario.
Virgil tried to escape Patton, hiding and lying every time he got, why Patton couldn't just leave him alone?! So, what happened next was just a cause-and-effect situation...
After half an hour of crying, Patton finally came to Virgil "Are you mad at me? I'm sorry if I did anything... I just need you..." He sobbed softly, cleaning his tears with the sleeve of his sweater.
"Patton... P-Please, I'm... I'm not in a g-good mood right now..." The purple-haired replied, anxiety rising with each word, he was semi-verbal and stressed, he couldn't handle this conversation but...
"Vee-vee... Please, I need you and I feel so lonely..." He tried to get closer to his partner, his chest hurt so bad and he needed his partner.
"Just- Shut up, why don't you leave me alone?! I-I'm so tired of you and how fuckin' needy y-you get, it's not my f-fault nobody else wants you around!" He shouted desperately, hiding in his hoodie and trying to breathe at a normal pace. "What...?" Patton was stunned, did his partner just say that?! Fuck was going on? "I... I'm sorry I..." His head was going insane, his chest was aching and the person he trusted the most just attacked him. Without any noise, he left slowly, his tears clouding his sight as he walked away.
"F-Fuck..." Virgil tried to walk towards Patton, but it was too late, he fucked up. With the last strength he had, he walked towards his bed, he couldn't feel anything else, just pain. "Fuck..fuckfuck." A spike of adrenaline filled his body, making him shake and shiver. His whole body started itching and the feeling of guilt drowned his mind. So he stayed there, in his bed, for the following 36 hours.
"Please, believe me..." Patton whimpered bringing Virgil back to reality. "We could do better, we could change!" A smile was intended, but a sad deep sigh was all that could come out of Patton's lips.
"I'm sorry, Patton." Virgil sighed, these months were hell for him and he couldn't do it anymore. The pain of Patton's lies and the guilt he felt were enough to drive him insane. He loved Patton but... He loved himself more.
"Verge..." The last try, Patton thought, it's just one last try. "Please, I know these few months were a little bad but we can do it!" He smiled weakly and tried to approach his partner.
"Patton, these few months were hell for me, I couldn't sleep, I felt like absolute SHIT." Virgil started walking backward again. "You need to understand..." He sighed, trying to calm down. "You are not the only one in this relationship, I also felt it, all the cold shoulders, all the fake kisses, everything."
"But... I tried to make you happy, I wasn't sure why these feelings came and how to get rid of 'em..." Patton replied truthfully, feeling bad for lying. "I thought if I faked a little I would feel the same"
"But you didn't." Virgil sighed, looking at Patton in the eyes. "And it hurt... Every word, every kiss... God, it was all my fault, Pat."
"I'm so sorry..." Patton bite his inner cheek and looked at Virgil, trying to smile gently. "I wanted this to work..."
"I did too, but I guess we weren't meant to be." He finally smiled softly, slowly understanding that this was the end. "It will be hard to get used to us being apart but we can do it. It's the h..healthier thing, right?"
"It is... Logan and Janus would be proud of us." Patton left out a small chuckle. "So... This is it?"
"Yeah... I think it is. Goodbye, Patton." He touched Patton's shoulder, giving him a small pat, and walked out the room.
"G'bye, Vee..." Patton replied, staying in the empty room alone, the touch in his shoulder hurt like a punch. "I'll miss you..." He sighed, caressing his arms and walking away too.
Maybe this was for the best, but still... It hurt like hell.
| The end |
Hello! The author here, I hope you liked this,,, Hell!
This is my first public fic and I'm so anxious about it,,
Thank you for suffering with me <3