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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@starry-railroads
It's as if you tore my rags to shreds. Was it of any use to you? Did it make any difference for you? It left me shivering through the harsh winter. stay away from me. please stay away from me, harsh world. I can't take any more of this humiliation. It's is too much, has been way too much already. so please stay away from me, mean world.
The moment my eyes turned to you, my present world turned upside down.
Roses turned into presents,
Amber turned into your eyes,
Love songs turned into poems,
Stars turned into cupid,
The sun turned into you.
How could I possibly believe
that I'm your best friend?
You laugh so much, you seem so at ease, you seem so much happier
with any other person.
Why
â no, how
can you love me?
I find it hard to believe
that I can truly make you happy.
Mute insect
When I don't talk to people outside my family for too long, I begin to lose my tongue. I suddenly can't pronounce words properly, form coherent sentences or conjugate verbs logically, use my voice evenly or clear, I start to invent non-existent words, I can't articulate properly, I start to talk without knowing what to talk about and I say meaningless and confusing things.
I just don't feel human anymore. I feel like an insect. Too unsettling for them to feel comfortable talking to it, too big an insect for them to be able to ignore it. It's just there amidst normal people and they are just watching it squirm out gibberish with pity in their eyes. Don't call it unhappy. Just be honest and call it freakish, absurd, weird and inhuman.
Friday 12 september 2025
I âmissedâ my bus.
"Why isnât she getting on? Why is she just standing there? Why is she just standing still?"
As if I havenât thought the same thing:
Why am I still standing here? Why canât I get on? Why arenât the people on the bus moving further in? Will they move? Should I wait a bit longer? Will I fit if I step in? Should I push a little? How much space do I take up with my bag? Thereâs not much standing room, but should I count my bag too? This is embarrassing, I need to make a decision. Do people think Iâm weird? Should I maybe take a bus to the station instead?
"What is she doing?"
Where did that voice come from? Was it from those girls in front of me? Why donât I dare to look at the faces of the people standing in front of me?
"Why isnât she getting on? Why is she just standing there? Why is she just standing still?"
Was she talking to me? No, she was talking about me, to her friend. Are they laughing at me now? Doesnât she know I can hear her? No, she probably does. But why would she say something like that? Does she know what sheâs doing? Does she know what sheâs doing to my head? Does she know what sheâs doing to my body? I feel my cheeks getting warm. Are my cheeks red?
The door is going to close. I hate them. I hate these people. I hate this ugly world and even all that is supposedly âbeautifulâ. Everything is ugly and hateful, so hateful.
Iâm going to look them in the eyes anyway, and I want them to see it.
But.........⌠why?
Why can I only look at her friend? I canât move my eyes.
And...............⌠why?
Why do I see nothing in her eyes? Nothing but boredom? Nothing but disinterest? So cold.
I feel so cold.
The doors close. I hate this world.
Need help
Hi everyone, Iâm currently two months behind on rent and struggling to afford basic needs like groceries and bills. My situation has gotten worse and Iâm now at a point where I canât even afford food. Itâs been extremely stressful and I urgently need help to get through this tough time. Iâm in urgent need of some help right now. Please help in any way possible. Any amount would be very helpful. Please consider helping.
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Alma: Chapter 7
Even though missing you won't last forever, missing you hurts more than any loss.
[ Chapter 7: Leaving home ]
âQuatro, your banishment has come to an end. Youâre allowed to return. We expect you to behave more responsibly in the future.â
These words came from the beak of a black heron, which immediately dissolved into a dark pool that served as a portal to the Corrupt Realm.
The curse on Quatroâs wrist, which had prevented him from using magic to return, vanished as well.
âWell, itâs time for me to leave. I hope you wonât miss me too much, Alma.â
Quatro grinned at Alma in a way that always, always, always made it impossible for Alma to look away from those two black pools of eyes. Quatro was always the first to break eye contact.
That look in his eyes captivated Almaâs entire being and ignited the fire of his soul. Quatro could never guess what it truly did to him.
Just as Quatro turned to leave, Alma grabbed his hand.
âWhat is it?â
âWill you ever come back? How long will you be gone? Will I have to wait long? Will you stay next time you return?â
Those words came rushing out in a single breath, as if they had been stuck in Almaâs throat for far too long.
âHold on, Alma. I donât even know if Iâm allowed to come back without a valid reasonâor where to find you if I do. So I wouldnât wait on me if I were you.
Itâs time to let go of my hand, Alma.â
ââŚWhere can I find you?â
âWhat did you say?â
âIf you wonât come back, Iâll come to you.â
ââŚI canât tell you.â
âWhy not?â
âUgh, this is such a drag. Okay, you winâ Iâll come back here within five years, alright?â
Five years meant nothing to immortal beings like them.
When Alma didnât look the least bit reassured, Quatro took a step forward, leaned in, and kissed his forehead.
âYouâll be fine.â
At last, Alma loosened his grip, and Quatro stepped into the dark pool.
Quatro didn't know that Alma had just made his decision. He couldnât let Quatro leave so easilyânot after that kiss.
Alma stepped forward and fell into the same void. For a moment, it felt endless. Then he was caughtâby Quatro.
âWhat did I tell you?â
âUhh⌠my body kind of acted on its own. Itâs justâŚâ
Alma took a deep breath. âWeâve lived together, we've slept together for a whole year. You even kissed meâand now you want to leave me just like that?â
âHold on, Alma, youâre making it sound weirdly wrong! First of all, I never slept with youâI only ever lay beside you. Second, it was just a peck on the forehead. Why are you clinging to it like that?â
Alma looked down and clenched his fists. âShut up. Iâm staying here.â
Quatro was clearly surprised by this side of Alma, but then he grinned.
âOkay. If you say so, little goose.â
Alma saw his grin from the corner of his eye. He lifted his head to seeâ Yes. Those eyes. That gaze.
He held onto it.
He held onto it for as long as Quatro would let him.
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Alma: Chapter 6
"In the end, you'll leave just like everyone who came.
In the end, this temple will be a home to only me once again."
[ Chapter 6: Water lily]
âWhy the long face, little goose?â
âItâll take me at least a few days to repair the seal on the portal. And during that time, Iâm not allowed to leave it.â
âSo? Youâve got all the time in the world.â
âBut you donât! What if you get summoned back tomorrow? I wouldnât even get to say goodbye because Iâd be stuck here fixing this stupid lake!â
Quatro had never seen Alma this agitated and it made a strange feeling arise in his chest.
âThen Iâll stay until Iâm called back. Youâll get to suffer under my teasing all day long. Isn't that what you want? And I can drive off any Ashborns who enter through the broken portal.â
âOkay⌠if thatâs what you want.â
Days passed. Not only did Ashborns appear, but wild beasts tooâones Quatro couldnât simply dismiss with a wave of his hand. He had to fight them.
âDamn that beast! It tore my sleeve a little.â
Suddenly, Alma grabbed Quatroâs arm and stared intensely at the rip. He let out a deep sigh.
âI could fix it⌠if only I had my embroidery kit. Hmm⌠I guess I can make a needle and thread from my soulfire.â
And he did. Alma pulled a glowing needle and thread from his soulfire and immediately began stitching the sleeve.
âI think thisâll do!â
âWaitâwill that thread glow forever? Isnât that a bit⌠flashy?â
âOh! Iâm sorry. Let me fix it.â
Quatro sighed and looked around at the lush greenery. He knew he wouldnât forget this forest easily.
Then something clicked.
âWhy was Vara here?â
âWhoâs Vara?â
âThe Ashborn you met a few days ago. Sheâs usually sent by General Duva to spy on the Luminari here. But why did she come through the portal? Duvaâs strong enough to send her here with a summoning spell. That spy also made sure the tear in the seal was wide enough so she could leave through it later. And she looked genuinely surprised to see meâlike she was afraid of getting caughtâŚ
Whatever. Forget I said anything. Are you almost done sewing?â
âYes. What do you think of it now?â
Where the tear had been, there was now a glowing embroidered water lily.
âIdiot! That wasnât the problem. I just didnât want it to stand out. Youâre really hopelessâŚâ
âOh⌠I can undo it.â
Quatro poked Alma's forehead. âNo, itâs fine. It would be just another waste of time. Iâll change clothes when I get back to the Corrupt Realm.â
Despite Almaâs ridiculous mistake, Quatro couldnât help but grin as he looked at the glowing lily.
Maybe⌠just maybe, heâd come back to visit Alma again someday.
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NEED HELP
Hi everyone,
Iâm a college student facing serious financial difficulties. Iâm currently two months behind on rent and struggling to afford basic needs like groceries and bills. My situation has gotten worse and Iâm now at a point where I canât even afford food. Itâs been extremely stressful and I urgently need help to get through this tough time. Iâm in urgent need of some help right now. Please help in any way possible. Any amount would be very helpful. Please consider helping.
Go to paypal.me/iamsumitshubham and type in the amount. Since itâs PayPal, it's easy and secure. Donât have a PayPal account? No worries.
120/1000 please keep helping everyone
Alma: Chapter 5
"Leave me daisies, dear friend ânot red roses, unless you intend to leave me heartbroken."
[ Chapter 5: Candle cake]
Alma was sprinting through the forest toward the lake that also served as a portal to the Corrupt Realm. It had just dawned on him that he hadnât checked in on it in quite a while.
As he neared the clearing, someone suddenly blocked his pathâan Ashborn. She looked confident, clearly convinced she could defeat him.
Alma instinctively reached for his soulfire to draw the Beacon of Lightâonly to remember it was still in Quatroâs hands.
His first priority was to reseal the portal. He dodged the Ashbornâs blows and tried to slip past her toward the lake, but she was stubborn and made it difficult.
Just as she prepared to strike again, she froze because her gaze was caught onto something behind his back. Alma heard a voice coming from the same direction.
âBack off, will ya? Oh, and tell Duva I want a duel to settle thingsâafter I get back.â
âG-General Quatro! I didnât expect you to be here.â
âWhere else did you think Iâd sit out my banishment? Now go.â
The Ashborn bowed and hurried through the portal.
âSo you werenât just a regular Ashborn after all, huh?â Alma said, turning to Quatro with a smirk.
âWhat a nuisance! Now my coverâs blown. If I were you, little goose, Iâd start running from me,â Quatro joked. Alma chuckled in response.
âWhy were you banished?â
âI kind of borrowed some soulflames from one of the other generalsâDuva. Apparently, she kept track of every single time I did it and used those records to convince the others. Why does she even need that many soulflames? She just hoards them and never uses them. But I wonât be stuck here foreverâtheyâll call me back within a week or so.â
âA week?â
âYes, whatâs the problem with it?â
âWait here, okay?â
Quatro was confused, but did as Alma asked. After a short while, Alma returned and beckoned him to follow.
To Quatroâs surprise, a literal cake made of candles was waiting for him at the temple.
âWhere did this come from all of a sudden?â
âItâs a secret! Dig inâitâs all yours.â
âWhy?â
âWell, I suppose you could see it as both a thank-you gift and a goodbye gift. If youâre leaving in a week, shouldnât I at least show my gratitude?â
âGratitude for what? I only told that Ashborn to back off.â
âGratitude for being my friend.â
âFriends, huh. Thatâs not a term spirits use. I think humans have contaminated your head a little too much. Do you even know what it means to be friends?â
âWell, for oneâI know Iâll never fight you. Because youâre my friend.â
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Alma: Chapter 4
"Not even a sky full of stars can coax flowers to bloom like the sun can."
[ Chapter 4: Beacon of Light ]
Quatro had discovered that Alma engaged in even more human-like activitiesâones that made even less sense to him.
When it rained, Alma stayed inside his temple and spent his time embroidering, crafting soulcandles, cleaning the temple, baking cookies (which he placed on a plate near the entrance for guests), and strangest of allâhe slept.
âWhy are you sleeping? How is that even possible?â
âItâs another way to pass the time. Can you please be quiet now and go to sleep?â
âAs if Iâd waste my time lying on a bed doing nothing.â
âBut I built a bed especially for you.â
âDid you really expect me to use it?â
âActually, not really. Thatâs why I placed it right next to mineâso I could turn it into a double bed if you declined.â
After a few minutes, Almaâs breathing became calm and steady.
Quatro was still perched on the windowsill, unable to take his eyes off the radiant Luminari before him. Alma glowed even brighter in the dark, and Quatro didnât know why, but he felt a gentle warmth coming from himâlike a hearth of soulflames.
Unlike other Luminari, Alma was the most honest being Quatro had ever met. And yet, he felt as though he didnât know a single thing about who Alma truly was.
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Alma: Chapter list
Chapter 1: https://www.tumblr.com/starry-railroads/791608450353348608/alma-chapter-1
Chapter 2: https://www.tumblr.com/starry-railroads/791608770123972608/alma-chapter-2
Chapter 3: https://www.tumblr.com/starry-railroads/791612560401203200/alma-chapter-3
Chapter 4: https://www.tumblr.com/starry-railroads/791672022826713090/alma-chapter-4
Chapter 5: https://www.tumblr.com/starry-railroads/791694050308882432/alma-chapter-5
Chapter 6: https://www.tumblr.com/starry-railroads/791978555840036864/alma-chapter-6
Chapter 7: https://www.tumblr.com/starry-railroads/792147055240986624/alma-chapter-7
Alma: Chapter 3
"Fish trust the feed they're given more than the hand that feeds them."
[ Chapter 3: Koi fish ]
Itâs been a week, and to his own surprise, Quatro is actually enjoying himself.
There are no other Luminari or Ashborn around to bother him, and if heâs fast enoughâwhich he usually isâhe can steal Almaâs soulflames every day. His main goal now is to find Almaâs temple and take the soulflames stored there. But every time Alma notices heâs being followed, he takes a detour and vanishes into the forest. Naturally, Alma knows his own territory far better than Quatro ever could.
Quatro has the growing sense that no matter how long heâs stuck with Alma, heâll never truly figure him out. Alma doesnât behave like any Luminari Quatro has met before.
âSay, why are you feeding those koi fish? Itâs not like you can eat them.â
The sun hung high in the sky and Alma was going through his daily routine:
His morning walk to collect candles along the forest pathsâmost of which Quatro had already stolen, watering the herbs and flowers in his garden, and now feeding the koi fish in the pond.
âI like koi fish. Theyâre very calming, donât you think?â
âNo, actually I meanâwhy are you living like youâre human?â
âWhat do you think I should do then? Iâve lived for an eternity. Iâm just trying to chase away the boredom, thatâs all. And I find it satisfying to feed fish. Just look at themâtheyâre all gathering! Want to try it too?â
Before Quatro could sigh deeply, a small pouch of fish food was tossed his way. He caught it reflexively. Now he had no choice but to give in.
He took a handful and tossed it into the pond.
âNo, you need to stand here! Itâs easier that way.â
Quatro sighed and stepped onto the stones placed in the shallow water until he stood beside Alma. But before he could make another attempt, he slipped and fell straight into the pond.
After he cursed the damn fish, Alma offered to take him to the temple so he could dry his clothes.
âWell, I guess thatâs one way to find your temple in this impossible forest.â
âMaybe you should try it again, and Iâll bake you a cake made of candles.â
âDream on.â
Alma chuckled and led the way.
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Alma: Chapter 2
"We are only kind to those we are taught to be kind to."
[ Chapter 2: A kind heart ]
Alma is a kind and softhearted guardian spirit who lives in a remote forest atop a mountain, in a small temple.
One morning, during his daily walk to gather soulflames from his territory, he encounters an Ashborn later to be known as Quatro. Sensing a dangerous aura coming from this Ashborn, Alma draws a Beacon of Light from his soulfire to summon other Luminari, but Quatro snatches it away and demands that Alma fight him personally.
âIâm not allowed to fight you. My only role is to maintain the portal to the Corrupt Realm.â
âWhat? Iâve never heard of a rule like that.â
âEven if you attacked me, I wouldnât fight back. So return the Beacon of Light, and youâll be able to fight as much as you like with the other Luminari.â
âCan you even fight? When was the last time you did?â
Alma realizes heâs never truly considered that.
â⌠I donât know.â
âWell then, letâs test your skills!â
Quatro lunges at Alma, who narrowly dodges every strike. Eventually, Quatro halts.
âI see⌠You have the talent to fight, but not the will. Youâre too boring. Iâm going to find a more interesting opponent.â
As Quatro turns to leave, Alma draws a papyrus scroll from his soulfire. When he opens it, it unfurls and encircles the forest. Quatro spins around, irritated.
âEh? Whatâs this?â
âA barrier. Weâre not allowed to let Ashborn leave our territory once weâve spotted one.â
âAre you trying to get yourself killed?â
ââŚAnd if you kill me, the barrier wonât disappear.â
âUndo it. Or Iâll hurt youâjust enough to keep you alive.â
Alma remains silent. Quatro attacks again, this time with greater force. Alma receives a cut on his cheek, but it heals instantly. Quatro is surprised, thinking Almaâs wound healed so quickly because he carefully preserves his soulflames and rarely uses them.
After a while, Quatro realizes that Alma is pretty stubborn and not really afraid of him. Alma braces for another strike, but Quatro simply pokes his forehead, causing Alma to lose balance and fall backward.
âFine. Then Iâll just keep bullying you until you release the barrier, little goose.â
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Alma: Chapter 1
"You wouldn't miss the light if it was never yours to begin with."
[ Chapter 1: World building ]
Long ago, guardian spirits roamed the world, helping humans in exchange for soulflame. When people light red soulcandles, the flame is actually drawn from the fire within their soulâtheir soulflame. Humans cannot see the spirits themselves, but they can perceive the soulfire that floats behind each one. Spirits live off these soulflames and can use their soulfire to create objects made of light.
Humans canât light soulcandles every day, as their soulflame needs time to recover.
In ancient times, a large group of spirits, driven by greed, slaughtered countless humans to harvest their soulflame. That region became desolate, and another group of spiritsâthe Luminariâsealed it off from the rest of the world, creating a separate realm. They named it the Corrupt Realm, and the spirits who remained there became known as Ashborn. The Ashborn were forbidden from returning, as the Luminari feared they would once again drain humanity.
The Ashborn were expected to perish, but they adapted to the absence of soulflame. Their skin turned grayâthe color of ashârather than glowing, and their hair became black instead of radiant white. They secretly developed a hidden form of magic, which they conceal from the Luminari.
Today, each Luminari is assigned a territoryâusually a forestâwhere they guard a portal to the Corrupt Realm. These portals often appear as lakes or ponds, which they must seal and maintain. Within their territory, each Luminari has a temple where humans can make requests. Soulcandles are placed there, and scattered throughout the areaâfor example, along forest paths.
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I drew the blue version!
(It's very plain bcs I'm too lazy to finish it đŹ)
Here was the red one:
My first time drawing cloudsss âď¸âď¸âď¸
