Incorrect Star Wars quotes from BBC Cabin Pressure

other side blog: incorrect lord of the rings quotes from bbc cabin pressure

[starwarscabinpressure]

Anakin: It's "God rest."

Ahsoka: Well that makes no sense. "God rest, you merry gentlemen" - what's a 'God rest'?

Obi-Wan: Somewhere to put your god?

Anakin: It's not "God REST, you merry gentlemen, it’s "God rest YOU, merry gentlemen."

Ahsoka: Well that makes no sense either!

Obi-Wan: Actually, it's neither. It's "God rest you MERRY, gentlemen," as in, "Happy Christmas, gentlemen. I hope God gives you a restful and merry one, and doesn't accidentally shut you in a flying cupboard with a pair of idiots."

[starwarscabinpressure]

Ezra: Anyway, I’m not all that bothered about Life Day. I think it’s been over-commercialized.

Hera: Do you?

Ezra: Yes, I do!

Kanan: That’s an interesting opinion.

Ezra: It’s one I’ve long held.

Kanan: What does "over-commercialized" mean?

Ezra: It means it’s too much, um...it’s over...it used to be under...now it’s... I don’t know! Fenn Rau said it and it sounded really grown-up.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Luke: This is a scheme, isn’t it?

Han: A scheme? Me? On Life Day? What sort of a person do you take me for?

[starwarscabinpressure]

Obi-Wan: By the way, I’m supposed to tell you we’re having a Secret Santa.

Mace: What fresh hell is this.

[starwarscabinpressure]

C3P0: Good evening, sir, welcome on board today. Good evening, madam, welcome also to you today on board. Good evening, sir, welcome to being on board to you today.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Obi-Wan: Ahsoka, you were asking why the air over the wing has to keep up with the air underneath.

Ahsoka: Ooh, yes. Do you know?

Obi-Wan: Indeed I do. Attend: the air is not passing over the wing, the wing is passing through the air, so the curved upper side stretches the air forced over it apart, reducing pressure, producing lift. The lift pushes up, the weight pushes down. So as long as the lift is more than the weight, up we go. And that, my friend, is how an aeroplane flies.

Ahsoka: Got it! Right, yes! Cracking! I completely get it now.

Obi-Wan: Good. You see, it's actually quite easy to grasp when it's explained properly by someone who understands -

Ahsoka: So that's why planes can’t fly upside down!

Obi-Wan: Er, yes they can.

Ahsoka: Can they?

Obi-Wan: Well of course they can, haven't you seen the Red Arrows?

Ahsoka: But...doesn't that mean the curved side of the wing is on the bottom, so the lift is pushing down as well as the weight? How does that work?

Anakin: Yes, Obi-Wan. How does that work?

Obi-Wan: Well, Ahsoka, there's a very simple explanation, but just to finish what we were saying, Anakin, I think it's entirely up to you whether you let the lothcat in the hold freeze to death.

Ahsoka: What?!

Anakin: Obi-Wan!

Ahsoka: Master!

Obi-Wan: No one wants to hear the explanation, what a shame.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Ahsoka: I wanted to ask you something, Master. Jocasta Nu was telling me this morning that ships fly because they've got wings.

Obi-Wan: Is there anything that woman doesn't know?

Ahsoka: But she didn't really explain – why do wings lift us up?

Obi-Wan: Ah, well. Essentially...

Anakin: Uh, Obi-Wan, she asked me. Listen carefully, Ahsoka. The wing is curved on top but flat on the bottom. When it meets the air, it splits it in two. The air that goes over the top has farther to go, so it has to go faster to keep up with the air underneath. That reduces the pressure above the wing, giving us lift.

Ahsoka: Ah, fantastic! Thanks, Master! I totally get it now.

Anakin: You're welcome.

Ahsoka: Except...why does it have to?

Anakin: Why does what what?

Ahsoka: Why does the air on the top have to keep up with the air on the bottom? Why don't they just...split up?

Anakin: ...

Obi-Wan: ...For the sake of the kids?

[starwarscabinpressure]

Ahsoka: That amazing moment when twelve tons of metal leaves the earth...and no one knows why!

Anakin: Yes, we do.

Ahsoka: Yeah, but...you know, not really. I mean, we know you need wings and engines and a...sticky-up bit on the end for some reason, but it's not like we actually know why a ship stays in the air.

Anakin: No, no, Ahsoka, we really do. We do, we do know that.

Ahsoka: Oh! How, then?

Anakin: Well...er, because...

[starwarscabinpressure]

Han Solo: Your seat belt fastens like this, and unfastens like this. An invaluable lesson there for any of you who have never been in a speeder.

Han Solo: In the very unlikely event of an emergency landing, your inflatable safety jacket is under your seat. And that is precisely where I recommend it stay, given that the largest body of water between here and Tatooine is an open-air swimming pool on Utapau.

Han Solo: Finally, please keep your comlinks switched off for the duration of the flight. Obviously they have no effect whatsoever on our navigational equipment or we wouldn't let you have them, but they drive me up the wall.

Han Solo: Thank you, and enjoy your flight.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Leia: *answers comm* Hello? Princess Leia.

Mon Mothma: Leia! Coruscant calling. Happy Life Day! Peace in the galaxy and goodwill to all – even politicians. How was Kashyyyk?

Leia: Are you all right, Mon Mothma?

Mon Mothma: Perfectly, thank you, but more importantly, are you all right? Sleep well? Nice and well rested, are you?

Ackbar: Princess, don’t–

Leia: Yes, thanks, I–

Ackbar: It’s a trap!

[starwarscabinpressure]

Luke: This is a scheme, isn’t it?

Han: A scheme? Me? On Life Day? What sort of a person do you take me for?

[starwarscabinpressure]

Anakin: It's "God rest."

Ahsoka: Well that makes no sense. "God rest, you merry gentlemen" - what's a 'God rest'?

Obi-Wan: Somewhere to put your god?

Anakin: It's not "God REST, you merry gentlemen, it’s "God rest YOU, merry gentlemen."

Ahsoka: Well that makes no sense either!

Obi-Wan: Actually, it's neither. It's "God rest you MERRY, gentlemen," as in, "Happy Christmas, gentlemen. I hope God gives you a restful and merry one, and doesn't accidentally shut you in a flying cupboard with a pair of idiots."

[starwarscabinpressure]

Ahsoka: Master, what did you get for Master Kenobi?

Anakin: You remember twenty minutes ago when I brilliantly and single-handedly saved your bacon with the Council?

Obi-Wan: Yes.

Anakin: Well. Happy Life Day.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Obi-Wan: By the way, I’m supposed to tell you we’re having a Secret Santa.

Mace: What fresh hell is this.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Ezra: Anyway, I’m not all that bothered about Life Day. I think it’s been over-commercialized.

Hera: Do you?

Ezra: Yes, I do!

Kanan: That’s an interesting opinion.

Ezra: It’s one I’ve long held.

Kanan: What does "over-commercialized" mean?

Ezra: It means it’s too much, um...it’s over...it used to be under...now it’s... I don’t know! Fenn Rau said it and it sounded really grown-up.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Luke: Actually, we're fine, 3P0. We'll be landing in twenty minutes.

C3P0: Oh, right. Oh, and a message from Princess Leia. She says how long until we land?

Han: ...Right.

[door opens]

Leia: Drivers, how long till we land?

C3P0: I'm asking them, your highness!

Leia: Not quickly enough.

[starwarscabinpressure]

Jar Jar: Hang on, Qui-Gon, meesa's dropped it again.

Qui-Gon: You see now why I'm carrying the video camera and you're carrying the life jacket?