AGENT J-SHOT @statesintern - Tumblr Blog

WHISKEY.

“That was a one-off and she didn’t use any lingo. She used her finger!”

❝ A Tinder reference you DIDN’T understand ❞ .

❝ You’re not gonna like this , so uh , try not to shoot the messenger , but , uh , I’ve been told to go through SOCIAL MEDIA LINGO with you , ‘cause of Glasto ❞ .

starter for @namesjack even though you did not ask or want

#namesjack #main verse tbt.#i jus t found these icons online and they are Massive™

TEQUILA.

a small laugh escapes him. “ has it ? it sounds like a tuesday to me. ”

❝ You tried to SHOOT me !! - Thanks for that , mate ❞ .

#ghosttequila #main verse tbt.

willieowinsbury

i just love,,, nessie? how is she doin? she eatin right? she sleepin good? she takin care of herself? i hope she is ok,,,

#tbt.

stateswhiskey replied to your post “my new alternate fc is MICHAEL CERA ”

ur welcome B)

#stateswhiskey #tbt.#goddamn u

my new alternate fc is MICHAEL CERA @stateswhiskey

#stateswhiskey #tbt.

CIDER.

“Boy, I know plenty ‘bout tech, but there are certain things no grandpa should know too much about if he wants his grandkids to come by more often.”

❝ NETFLIX AND CHILL , I get what you mean ❞ .

#statesmancider #joseph voice: WINK #tbt.

CIDER.

“I’m sure they do, but this grandpa don’t follow social media. They probably prefer it that way.”

❝ Is that because you don’t want too , or because you don’t know how ? Because my nan has an iPad so it’s not exactly impossible to learn how to use it ❞ .

#statesmancider #not sure if offensive or #tbt.

❝ So , I mean , just a thought , but you could maybe NOT shoot people on sight in the future ? ❞ .

@tequilabadboy || starter call

#tequilabadboy #it was a great introduction to his new job.#tbt.

❝ So . . . does Statesman actually have social media or . . . ? ❞ .

@statesbrandy || starter call

#statesbrandy #tbt.

❝ So are you like , an actual tailor , or do you have some other staffing job in England ? Because you don’t really LOOK like a spy , if I’m being honest ❞ .

@agent-lancelot || starter call

#agent-lancelot #agentlancelot #i wanted to be the first one to draw blood XD #tbt.

❝ - YIKES - ! ❞

@codenamemorgana || starter call

#codenamemorgana #so many possibilities #tbt.

❝ You ever have one of those days where you find out your internship is a lie and in fact everyone is actually a spy , and you kind of start to wonder if maybe this is some cosmic joke because you run a conspiracy vlog but it turns out not to be . And you suddenly have a codename even though you don’t actually know if the company has an instagram , and you almost get shot by a cowboy and , and - all I’m saying is , this is a really weird first day ❞ .

@pueroimmersi || starter call

#pueroimmersi #his biggest concern is if he's still on minimum wage or not lbh.#tbt.

CIDER.

“…sure don’t look like no unicorn to me.”

❝ Well , I mean . . . no . But - , short of actually performing a miracle that’s the closest you’re gonna get to a unicorn drink . You have - . . . grandkids ( ? ) - I assume , they would totally instagram that stuff ❞ .

#statesmancider #dramatic pause before grandkids.#tbt.

❝ It’s been a TRYING DAY ! - okay ?! ❞

@statestequila || starter call

#statestequila #1. found out his employees were all spies ??? 2. probably almost got shot by teq who didnt know abt the intern #3. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TWITTER 4. did he mention SPIES #tbt.

❝ I asked Tequila and he just laughed , so really - what’s the deal with aliens ? Are they real - are they not real ? Do you not know ? Is the Government , y’know , the actual Government hiding them from us ? ❞ .

@stateswhiskey || starter call

#stateswhiskey #has the question plagued him since day one ? yes . is he secretly recording this conversation to use on his next vlog ? maybe .#does whisk have the time for this from his new intern ? probably not . or not without coffee . which he was meant to bring . a while ago .#tbt.

❝ Well that’s not very American of you ❞ .

@aliasgareth || starter call

#aliasgareth #tbt.

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AGENT J-SHOT