jamie's math lab @statistically-slutty - Tumblr Blog

targetedknowledge

jan-liliten

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ball 1

penis

ball 2

Voting ended onMar 10

beyond-a-name

smokinghorse

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

stratfender

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

enjoylentgreen

our-queer-experience

ive been repeating this in my head all week. auntie likes wearing the strap…….

maidthings

hi welcome to my kitchen this is my box that makes things cold and my box that makes things hot and my box that makes things wet and my box that makes things full of EM waves and my box tha

lakevida

dogpuppy

aflo

Pallets are a renewable resource that spawn in warehouses when the light level is below 7

longseasons

gwydionmisha

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

marxistlesbianist

The entitlement of US Vietnam vets is so fucking wild because, like, on top of everything else they lost the war! These people will stand tall and demand you recognize the “sacrifices” they made for your “freedom,” as though they didn’t suffer a humiliating military defeat. Talk about participation trophies!

marxistlesbianist

The nature of service work in the US is that someone will frequently walk up to you and say “Hello, I shot every Vietnamese child I could see and still lost the war. Please give me everything for free now? 🥺” and if you do the decent thing and tell them to kill themselves you get fired

marxistlesbianist

Everyone pretend that I reblogged this for veterans' day

biteriskgirl

my android gf doesnt have a speech synthesizer but she chirps whenever we drive past a speed camera, which is like, way more useful

biteriskgirl

it's got a miniature tape deck in its chest that can record and play back like a dozen sounds at a time. not really enough for conversation but if we're going somewhere important she'll load it up with basic phrases.

most of the time, though, it's just filled with sounds it likes. when we get back from a hike it's full of bird calls. sometimes i hear her fill it with video game sound effects and use it like a stimboard. whenever i say something stupid she makes me repeat myself so she can clip it and play it back to me for like a week. when i have to travel she takes a bunch of recordings of my voice to keep her company while i'm gone.

one time we were fucking and she started moaning in my voice. kind of embarrassing how hot i found it. afterwards she kept a few moans to play back around our friends to fuck with me. the downside of dating an android girl is you might find out it's EVIL and gets off on TORMENTING YOU she's watching me write this and giggling. girl i'm gonna trade you in for a roomba one of these days.

newtonpermetersquare

Magnets: I want to commit diamagnetic

squided

how did I never once think to use tape fuck

rubykgrant

one time as a kid I forcefully shoved two magnets together, and these were the strong magnets my dad used in his shop to pick-up missing little metal bits, and I held them really tightly in the palm of my hand, went up to this one kid who legit said things like “I think black cats are bad, they should be drowned” and drew crosses on the notebooks of kids if she found out they didn’t go to church, I told her “Hey. I’m a witch. If you don’t stop trying to hurt animals and picking on kids, I’ll use my magic to throw you into the sky”, and when she dared to doubt my powers I told her that I had two “rocks” in my hand that I could send across the playground, then I opened my hand the the magnets shot off in two different directions (we were over in a spot that was empty, so no other kids were around, nobody got hurt), one of them stuck to a drainpipe and the other stuck to a fence. This kid SCREAMED, and ran to the office, and I guess had her mom pick her up from school, and then she wasn’t there for a couple of days, finally her mom called my house and claimed I had “traumatized her daughter by performing a terrifying magic trick”, and when my parents asked what I did I just said “I showed her a magnet and she flipped out. She’s not gonna be happy when she finds out about gravity, either”. eventually this kid came back to school and always made a point to come up to me and say “Hey, my mom told me not to talk to you!”, and would just be like “Good job, you already screwed that up”