the overloaded obsessive interest that the masses have had with the subject of narcissism and narcissistic personality ādisorderā has led to a most annoying misunderstanding that I want to clarify, because I have had it with this constant berating of confident, assured and established personalities by emotionally unstable and desperately needy people who insist that itās not an emotional crutch/weakness but their supposed āempathyā that compels them to label everyone who doesnāt cater to and uphold and glorify that empathy as sadistic, cold, dangerous narcissists bent on crushing these highly sensitive gifts from god. I am also over people mislabeling themselves as narcissists when really they are just as desperate as theĀ āempathā for validation and acceptance, grasping for something, anything to show that they are aĀ āsomebody.āĀ
in the book āthe art of seductionā the author, robert greene, explains it as such,
Ā āā¦for the narcissistic woman is not needy; she is self-sufficient. and this is surprisingly seductive. self-esteem is critical in seduction. your attitude toward yourself is read by the other person in subtle and unconscious ways. low self-esteem repels, confidence and self-sufficiency attract. the less you seem to need other people, the more likely others will be drawn to you. understand the importance of this in all relationships and you will find your neediness easier to suppress. BUT DO NOT CONFUSE SELF-ABSORPTION WITH SEDUCTIVE NARCISSISM. talking endlessly about yourself is eminently anti-seductive, revealing not self-sufficiency, but insecurity.ā
the book then goes on to quote sigmund freud,
ānarcissistic women have the greatest fascination for men. the charm of a child lies to a great extent in his narcissism, his self-sufficiency and inaccessibility, just as does the charm of certain animals which seem not to concern themselves about us, such as cats. it is as if we envied them their power of retaining a blissful state of mind - an unassailable libido position which we ourselves have since abandoned.ā
there is good reason that narcissism is touted as highly dangerous when present as the main theme and compulsion in someoneās personality and character, and that is because high self-esteem and grandiose self-love mixed with the confidence to execute skill and action effectively and efficiently, is dangerous. these are the traits, that if we were still an integral part of the animal kingdom in a primal way, would ensure leadership position and highly valuable bounty. the narcissist is dangerous because they do not believe you. they are not easily swept away by decisions and schemes that do not benefit them and their image and their future. they are prideful, they take pride in themselves and those who can match them, and donāt much pity those who canāt level up. iām sure it does frustrate the majority of people when the narcissist is constantly making decisions without their input, ensuring their success rather than getting bogged down in guilt and obligation. they do what they like, how they like, when they like. not the best combo for situations where compromise is necessary, but they feel that compromise is beneath them, and honestly, after hearing sad story after sad story of all that people have lost emotionally, mentally, and materially after compromising time and time again instead of looking out for and defending themselves, I think they may be on to something. narcissists do struggle with heavier episodes of shame than most people, but thatās because we live in a dual world where point a has to level out with point b, and if one has the capacity for great heights, it obviously will be matched with great lows. this is the dual nature of reality. we can stop acting like itās some pitiable state of affairs. the reason most people donāt experience deep emotions, deplorable shame, or hysteric fear, is because you have no passion for your identity. you are lukewarm. so you never swing from any point at all. you are staid and stagnant, and they tell you that this is normal and healthy because only the human without life force and rebellious passion can be controlled.
narcissism is not talking endlessly about yourself. itās not about talking endlessly about said narcissism. itās not about even recognizing that you are in fact a narcissist. the true narcissist doesnāt give a shit about you or about your labels and they certainly do not identify themselves completely and comprehensively with any institutionalized diagnosis; their self-importance would never allow it. a narcissist does not seek to be put under the label of anything, much less of one as mass-prescribed as narcissistic personality disorder. a narcissist thinks themselvesĀ āone-of-a-kindā, above law, beyond the scope of normal human understanding.Ā
another misunderstanding is that the narcissist needs your validation. NOā¦a narcissist loves to feel your ENERGY, not your VALIDATION. the narcissist is the SUN. they love to shine and be glorified, not because they think they arenāt in glory, but because they are already, in their mind, glorified, and are waiting for the degenerate masses to respect this. they have already been validated by themselves and by god, who they think they are. they are just as holy and untouchable alone on the mountain as they are in the middle of an adoring crowd, you can be sure.Ā
the self-absorbed are always on shaky ground, desperate for validation, willing to do whatever it takes to ensure acceptance of their identity. the narcissist, on the other hand, is already assured of their position. it is never up for debate and no criticism or praise can rock it. the self-absorbed are easily swept away by critiques or compliments to their image and identity. the narcissist sees critique and compliment as the same energy = FOCUS, and they love both, for both confirm their self-importance, which they have already known to be true.Ā
attention to the self-absorbed is life-affirming. attention to the narcissist is simple confirmation.Ā
as for the relationship between the narcissist and the empath,Ā here is the simple truth, that none of youĀ āsensitive peopleā want to hear ā
IT IS NOT THE NARCISSIST THAT IS ATTRACTED TO THE WEAKNESS OF THE EMPATH BUT IT IS THE EMPATH WHO IS ATTRACTED TO THE STRENGTH AND POWER OF THE NARCISSIST.
I feel like this should be made clear. youtube is not full of videos of narcissists giggling and carrying on about their relationshipsĀ with empaths. it is the āempathsā who are flooding the web with desperate campaignsĀ against the narcissist, and to be quite frank, the narcissist is never going to watch them. they are too busy watching videos that help them become better versions of themselves. they are out living their lives. they donāt need you and I know you hate it, but you need to come to terms with the fact that their not needing you is what attracted you to them in the first place. empaths are notorious for having very weak and malleable boundaries. the narcissist is the complete opposite; in order to stay special and individuated like a narcissist, you must have a firm and very separate container from others. empaths are attracted to this because it is something they lack. it doesnāt usually go both ways. the narcissist doesnāt envy being emotionally malleable because they cannot stand the thought of being anyoneās victimĀ and scapegoat due to poor ego structure.Ā
(I am not against authentic empaths; the beauty of the water element, which is emotional, yielding, deep, can be highly seductive and powerful and life transforming but it has not had proper care and guidance in this era, and it has led to a deep misunderstanding of true empathy. empathy is for intimacy and healing, and if you are not emotionally healthy and if you do not have an understanding of where you begin and another ends, and if you are a victim leeching off the life force of others, guilting them into being dragged under the tide with you, then it is not authentic empathy.)
the narcissist, ultimately, is one who has never lost the incubated solar identity in order to merge with the more humanitarian and altruistic needs of the masses. they have no desire to lose personal identity to group identity for any reason. iām not going to judge whether this is good or bad, which is an immature way of identifying anything past a certain developmental stage.
the narcissist is not the desperate attention-seeking adult. in order to be reaching for any validation from the masses, you have to be a part of that energetic mass, and the narcissist is not aware of such.Ā
the narcissist is the the blissfully unaware child. the creative prodigy. the pollyanna. they are incubated in a solipsistic vision of the world they inhabit and the world around them. they allow you to play roles in their story, so long as you never forget that in their story, they are the main character. no one is allowed to come in and take their place in this play, to edge them out of the center of their own lives, so said person can take up that space and keep the narcissist from full self development and success.
* once again, I am not judging the experience of narcissist or empath as good or bad. there are too many sub-layers to each perspective, that it seems quite infantile and insecure to try to judge either one so superficially. these are simply my personal revelations about this archetypal dynamic.
ellievsbear
vaporwave
janainaart
discoholicmusic
tangentwithtanner
kianamaiart
