juicifer

スティ

[michameinmicha]

[niallsboxx-deactivated20220919]

We love a Midwestern baby’s comfort cheetah print

[myfriendtheghost]

x

[catchymemes]

Welcome to Japan

Where cars are parked orderly and in reverse

Where fruits can be cubes

Where people keep left

And lamps have different brightness for double beds

People queue up in lines

Applies to stickers too

Where what you get is the same as the poster

you get waved goodbye..?

Relieving both mind and body

Yup.

Smooth train operator

No embarrassing knocking or barging into rooms to check out if they are occupied

When you need an extra hand

For the selfiestas

Brolly holders

Because normal manhole covers are too mainstream

Think diagonal

And anytime u need to soak your feet

Where you raise responsible adults, not brats

And luggage is organised in color codes

When you need help after the condom broke

Instant sanitary gratification

Why they are so welcome at football matches

Where water is that clean in the drains

Nuff said

Source: imgur.com

[azaleatown]

This website was literally so fucking stupid. You used to be able to just fucking edit somebody’s post. Like just change it entirely. Nothing was stopping you. What the fuck. Imagine logging into your youtub account and some bozo changed your funny comment to say you love being a dummy. That’s what used to happen here. Every single day.

[azaleatown]

It was the fucking best

[puppiesandstuffs]

[emeraldflames]

Parents need to stop staying in loveless marriages just because they have kids. Stop sacrificing your happiness just so your kids can grow up in a 2 parent household. It’s toxic for the kids to grow up watching a dysfunctional marriage because it warps their perception of what love actually is. I know they think they’re doing what’s best for everyone, but it’s really not.

[illkim]

When the teacher calls you up to the board and you know the answer

[lonelyroommp3]

in general i think new york is very good for my social anxiety because no matter how much of a freak i’m being i know it’s probably not the weirdest thing people have seen today

[lonelyroommp3]

case in point: i felt bad about bringing my unwieldy luggage onto a crowded train, until the man sitting next to me pulled a live fish out of his backpack

[oxfordcommaforever]

Pro tip from a native: no one is paying attention to you, or what you’re doing, with three exceptions:

1) You are walking slowly

2) You are shitting on the floor of the subway

3) you are mugging us

[ninenine-brooklyn]

[bettydraperlookingpissed]

[goldkat-g0negrey-deactivated201]

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

[mediocrepresident]

YES

[fortangel]

No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!

So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”

Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.

[trilllizard666]

Confidence Helps

[advanced-procrastination]

Me, walking into FBI Headquarters:

“Name’s Burt Macklin, I work here now.”

[humoristics]

[boatofbears-deactivated20240811]

I thought this was going to be educational…. it was

[claroquequiza]

Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT

[karshmallow]

you know whats a good trope? when a character sarcastically says “what should we do? [proposes outlandish and foolish plan]” and the next scene is them mid-execution of said outlandish and foolish plan

[stuffnuts]

[karshmallow]

this is exactly the scene i was thinking of when i wrote this post thank you very much

[poirytowanie-deactivated2025101]

[amateur]

[cool-dad-deactivated20240526-de]

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

[lured-deactivated20170602]

what does Quil do

[softbutxh-deactivated20170428]

All the time all the time