STFU, Cupid

Recording the strangest, awkwardest, and most inappropriate online dating communications since 2011. var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-23503846-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[straightwhiteboystexting]

nerdgasms-and-psychobabble

[stfucupid]

Classy

[stfucupid]

I like that shit

[stfucupid]

This guy’s username has to do with being in the 1 percent, soooo.

Hey there, trouble maker ;)

[stfucupid]

And if that doesn’t work, nothing will

Hey, dunno if you're into poetry - The Most Perverted Love Sonnet Ever Composed, by Lord Dick Wadsworth Longmember - Dear girl, open cam for thou I beseech Because something new for you I must teach You will see my sweet asshole spread very wide So that I might kindly have you see what's inside I forthwith upon thee a fart I will blast The vilest filth ever shot from an ass For all day I've ate not but sauerkraut, beer Horseradish, mustard, cabbage, and here For I will smell it and thee you shall not And for this you must praise our heavenly God For surely it would make tear in the eyes swell it I out with the day's food thoust surely would vomit And if I had attached a hose to my ass And the other to thine mouth young fair lass Then without doubt twould surely be worse So bad that in fact they might send a hearse And next I would to the ground drop pantaloons And a very bad smell would fill up the room For truthfully now I've not showered in weeks And frankly my dear my ballocks they reek And next two fingers down that place where I play Smeared 'pon thy head like Ash Wed-nes-day Then I'm sorry my lady I must now go fly And I ask you kindly that you must not cry For now every day forth will be, general speaking As joyous as manhoods from gloryholes peeking

[stfucupid]

Speaking of good writers...

[stfucupid]

Spaces.Use them.Lolz.

[stfucupid]

Don’t you tell me to rise n shine

[stfucupid]

Good talk

[stfucupid]

You’re definitely not riddled with STDs

[stfucupid]

You need to chill

[stfucupid]

Tempting

[stfucupid]

Not crazy

[stfucupid]

r u for meeting

[straightwhiteboystexting]

[stfucupid]

Oh, you charmer, you

[stfucupid]

Can I get a HELL NO?

[stfucupid]

Less and less hope every day

Also, I appreciate danger literally less than anyone else ever.

[stfucupid]

Yeah I'm just on here for the fun of it