I’m so overwhelmed and tired of doing everything on my own. Aaron has been away working for 3 weeks and I’m so desperate for help when he comes back. Just a break so I can sleep or have a shower longer than 30 seconds, wash my fucking hair, do some cleaning. Some adult contact. I don’t have anyone to ask for help. My dad is about to get married so they’re organising the last few things. Mum works and just has other things and every time I ask I know she’d rather shoot herself, it’s out of the way and an inconvenience. I’m struggling and I literally have no one to ask to help. I can’t have anyone over because the house is so trashed all the time- it’s embarrassing, I can’t get back on top of it. Aaron’s idea of cleaning is stuffing things into random spots or the cupboard under the stairs which I then have to redo because it’s half assed. He got home from being away yesterday and wanted to go to the pub with his friends, invited Delilah, Gloria and I, but Gloria has been vomiting and has really bad reflux so I don’t want to move her or take her out. She’s not holding her feeds so she’s not gaining weight as well as she should, and I’m the ass hole who has to be like nah I don’t want too instead of him considering the child as well. Tonight, can we go to the pub, again. I said sure, we can go for dinner. Then he asks are you sure you want to come? Okay you obviously don’t want me too because otherwise you wouldn’t have triple checked. Gloria needed to go to the hospital to have her tube replaced so had to rush through that so he could get to the pub asap. Says he’ll only be a bit and he’ll do the feeds tonight so I can have a break and then spends hours there. I fucking hate being the girlfriend who makes him come home and stops him from doing the things he wants, I want him to want to be at home with us considering he was away all week, I want him to stay for a while and come home because Aimèe needs help and he cares, you know. But no. Messages me at 9.30pm and says I’ll be home for the midnight feed. Oh yes, I’m going to hand you the baby after you’ve been at the pub for four hours, that’s a great idea. He leaves again Valentines morning so we were doing a little family thing tomorrow but I can’t shower and wash my hair so I don’t want to fucking go. I don’t even know why I’m bothering. I just want to go to sleep for a long time. He’s home now having his second nice long shower for the day, how nice. I literally haven’t washed my hair in so long, like over 8-9 days. “Well I’m home now” cool, I love showering, washing and blow drying my hair at fucking 11pm at night. Thank you so much ✨