why am i here

please just don’t Slowly becoming a depression blog tbh

[stillfightingforit]

Hi all,

I don’t entirely remember how this app works so I’m not sure if I even have any followers but I figured I’d post something either way.

It’s been four years since I’ve posted or messaged anyone.

In less than a week, I will be 2 full years clean of self harm.

Now, this account and the things I’ve posted are definitely triggering, and I’m sorry for spreading that. This account was a source of relief and a way to let my feelings out anonymously without affecting my life.

I’m making this post because I want to show everyone that the things that you feel, the hurt, the pain, the panic, the suffering and the trauma, are NOT permanent.

In time you will heal just as I did. Yes, it’s going to be hard and yes, you will likely relapse. But, once you get there? It is oh so worth it.

If you so choose, you can look back at my account, look at my reposts and all the things that I shared. Keep in mind that I am healthy and happy now. My scars are mostly faded, and I haven’t inflicted physical harm upon myself in a long time.

I have overcome a lot of my social anxiety as well, and I now work at one of the biggest fashion retailers in the world.

You can do the same.

[artromantic]

when you think about being softly held by someone who genuinely cares about you but then remember you’re alone

[unrelentingembers]

getting positive physical contact after extensive periods of time without it is an experience because now I’m consciously aware of just how touched starved i am

[im-actually-alien]

For someone who doesn't like being touched, I sure am touch starved

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“She knew the power of her mind so she programmed it for success.”

—

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.”

—

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“Kindness begins with understanding we all struggle.”

—

[stillfightingforit]

I just want to sit down with someone and break. I want to cry, I want to let everything out until I’m a babbling mess and I want them to hug me until everything’s okay again. To whisper in my ear and tell me everything is going to be okay, that they’re here and that they’re staying no matter what and they actually mean it. I wanna be hugged so tight that all of my fears and stress are squeezed out and never come back. I want to be okay.

[poems-and-word]

[once-there-was-a-purpose]

I crave human touch; I ache down to my skeleton, my flesh crawls with the need for it and I feel like I'm drowning.

Its not sexual; so rarely do people touch me that I want to cry just thinking about it. I don't know if I can go for another day without it.

Somebody please just touch me; I can't breathe

[timewarpmlm-archive]

It’s that time of the night where I want to have another night owl beside me so we can just talk till we exhaust each other and fall asleep

[hyruleknight271-deactivated2020]

I asked for snuggles not struggles

[novaangelofgays-deactivated2020]

Yeah, sex is cool but have you ever been crushed under someones complete body weight while curled up in a blanket?

[imightnotbehuman]

  I knew I was touch starved before, but holy fuck did I not realize how much it affected me until I finally found someone I could cuddle with. I haven’t been nearly as depressed or lonely and like….I fuckin love cuddling?? That’s like some real good shit right there??

[elvencantation]

there’s a special place in heaven for people who rub your back or hold your neck when you hug

[brokenflicker]

“The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.”

— Joker (2019)

[obesophobic]

how come I have to hurt myself to forget the pain you're causing me?