just some thoughts

this is my side blog, main is inactive

[huariqueje]

Blue Berries - Jeremy Miranda , 2026

American , b. 1980 -

Acrylic on board , 7 ½ x 9 1/2 in.

[stillfine2009]

perfect chill summer weekend in four food photos:

1. Came straight home from work Friday night and made this zucchini galette with homemade ricotta and tiny tomatoes/ basil from my garden

2. Harvested my first banana pepper! it had such a funky shape.

3. My new blender has allowed me to make açaí bowls at home and i am loving it… topped this one with shredded coconut, dark chocolate chips, chia seeds, and granola

4. Went crazy on the grill tonight and made this giant dinner plate: a bed of quinoa topped with grilled farmer’s market corn on the cob, grilled chicken sausage, grilled zucchini, cucumber salad with cucumbers and tomatoes from my neighbor’s garden, banana pepper and parsley from my garden, and red onion. Then a lemon garlic greek yogurt sauce on top of everything. So good almost transcendent.

Beyond just eating well , I’ve also been having a really good weekend in general. i went and saw Backrooms with my friends (scary!), went to hot yoga twice and had a great practice both times, and went swimming in the springs with my friend this morning. Ideal summer weekend! yay summer!

[stillfine2009]

i eat fruit in the summer like someone who has been starving on a deserted island. like i am ravenous for fruit at all times. i can’t get enough. it starts with strawberries, then quickly blueberry season starts, and then suddenly EVERYTHING is in season and there are cherries and peaches and nectarines and plums and so many berries and watermelons and figs, and you have to eat as much as possible because there is such a short window! i eat so much fruit that my stomach hurts all the time during peak fruit season. i gorge myself. it is the limited nature of the season that makes it so intense for me. of course, i could buy blueberries in the dead of winter due to the industrialization and globalization of agriculture… but it isn’t the same. the fruit is twice as expensive and half as good. it is only in the summer that fruit is cheap and plentiful and perfect. it’s so good that it makes me feel genuinely moved by the miracle of this life.

[rosieandthemoon]

Victorian Needle Case, by W Avery & Sons

[nemfrog]

Assorted veg. Sow Salzer's seeds. 1931.

Internet Archive

[ripempezardexerox]

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[stillfine2009]

1. My new DIY “Brick” for my phone, magnetic, so it can affix itself to my metal bedside table

2. Tomatoes I harvested from my garden and ate this morning before work

[stillfine2009]

a vision for my future is becoming clearer, although it is a strange and unusual path.

For the past year-ish (but on a larger scale, perhaps for the last decade) I have been bumping up against the wall of "traditional life." Trying to fit myself into this box of marriage, family, cohabitation, career, ambition, expectations. Comparing myself to other people, measuring myself against arbitrary milestones, struggling with this push and pull between what i want and what i expect.

I tried dating men, and I hated it. I cohabitated for many years and got engaged to a woman, then I left her. Then, in the aftermath of my life exploding, I fell in love with a complicated and unusual woman and started a very happy and satisfying long distance relationship. Due to very practical circumstances, our relationship must be long distance for the foreseeable future. Yet people constantly ask us "will you get married? when will you move to the same place?" and so I find myself asking the same question, without considering if I really want that. I feel like it must be the natural next step because that is "normal," that is what is expected, that is obvious to other people and so I think it should be obvious to me.

Recently I have been pushing myself to imagine what my life would look like if I was freed from all expectation. what would I do with my time? who would I be? what choices would I make? sitting with these questions has allowed me to imagine a vision of the future that would have never occurred to me otherwise. and I feel like I have saved myself from falling off a precipice into an abyss.

I almost got swept up in the current of expectations. I almost got married to someone I didn't want to marry. I almost became miserable and caged in like all of the women in my family before me. But now I have a chance to do things differently. I am thinking of the Jenny Slate quote where she says "the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain, and more precious." I feel like there is an image of myself and my future clarifying itself. Every day it becomes clearer, and every day I get closer.

[simena]

Jette Stoltz

[coffeenextdoor]

[polkadotmotmot]

Hanna Kim - I Saw the Forehead of the Night, 2024- Oil on canvas

[nobrashfestivity]

Henri Matisse Apollo 1953

[stillfine2009]

Results from friend craft night!

we made these DIY “Bricks” for our phones using NFC tags. the NFC tags were really cheap on amazon, setup was shockingly easy (we used the free app Foqos) and the craft itself was very fun (wood shapes, stickers, acrylic paint, magnets glued to the back, and a layer of UV resin on top to give them an extra shiny finish)

now my social medias are locked down and i can ONLY unlock them by getting my NFC tag and clicking it to my phone.

hopefully this extra friction added to my life fixes my internet brain and resolves my screen time crisis. i will report back.

[stillfine2009]

this tweet is stuck in my head lately because it is unfortunately so true…. if i skip yoga for a few days i start feeling like a caged animal. i’m so much happier when im moving my body and becoming stronger. the happy bitches were right.

[stillfine2009]

have you read my brilliant friend quartet yet? if not, i am not kidding, you HAVE to, Elena Ferrante is the best living author

YES!! and i 100% agree, I think Ferrante is my favorite living author and maybe favorite author of all time. Those books changed my life and i’m not even exaggerating.

[van1llaskys]