my therapist said once "we get good at what we practice, so be careful what you practice" and tbh she was so right for that but also How Dare You??? open my eyes like that???
while iâm talking about this book again i should mention that, since itâs an abuse resource, Why Does He Do That is available to read for free as a pdf, and iâd highly recommend it.
When a client of mine tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didnât do something even worse. For example, I might say, âYou called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet, where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were âtotally out of controlâ at that time, but you didnât kick her. What stopped you?â And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:
âI wouldnât want to cause her a serious injury.â
âI realized one of the children was watching.â
âI was afraid someone would call the police.â
âI could kill her if I did that.â
âThe fight was getting loud, and I was afraid neighbors would hear.â
And the most frequent response of all:
âJesus, I wouldnât do that. I would never do something like that to her.â
The response that I almost never heardâI remember hearing it twice in fifteen yearsâwas: âI donât know.â
These ready answers strip the cover off of my clientsâ loss-of-control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: âAm I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?â
A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I canât remember a client ever having said to me: âThereâs no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.â He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuserâs core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong. /End alt text]
I am very tired of saying positive things about characters and getting told I need to do some critical thinking (so that Iâll see the characters are actually bad). No. Thatâs not how that works. I already did some critical thinking and came to the conclusions that these characters are wonderful. Criticism or straight up character bashing is not more enlightened and is not how critical thinking works. âCritical thinkingâ is not âthinking about all the bad or problematic aspects of something.â Itâs looking objectively at evidence, looking at context, recognizing and examining personal biases and assumptions, considering what assumptions and biases are being used in a given argument by other people, etc. Sometimes this process brings up criticisms, yes, but sometimes it also leads to the conclusion that something is actually good despite it being made out to be bad.Â
Like how stupid are people. Women shouldn't be able to vote bc The Jews thought women should vote so it must be bad and a Jewish Plot. 23k likes. I hate it here.
If you support feminism, Jews are regressive and patriarchal. If you support âtraditional family valuesâ, Jews are the threat pushing feminism to destroy the family unit. It is a deliberate lose-lose game.
I know people keep saying that about all kinds of shit, but this is Actual white supremacy. White supremacists believe that Jews are behind the feminist movement, the queer rights movement, the civil rights movement, immigration, and every other "bad" thing in America that diminishes the power of the white race. Jewish people are the ultimate evil, the masterminds behind everything white supremacy opposes.
If anyone tells you they discovered Zionists or Jews were secretly behind something, they're a white supremacist.
(Also, it's likely that a good chunk of the "likes" are bots. Remember that 51% of all web traffic is automated bots, and it's insanely easy to game the algorithms and boost white supremacist ideology.)
Am I the only one who thinks this might be Iranian propaganda? Iran has been one of the worst spreaders of antisemitic/pro-Hamas propaganda for a while, while also being a country that treats women like the Republic of Gilead. Spreading nonsense about Jews/Zionists being behind feminism would be on-brand for them.
Nazism. This is Nazism. Girlfriend is an actual Nazi. "Return to pastoralism and nationalism because the Jew is destroying our Fatherland." is in fact Nazism.
The Tarasque dwells in the waters of the Rhone river near the town of Tarascon, where it devours travelers and destroys dikes and dams to flood the Camargue. Saint Martha chained it, and the people of Tarascon killed it.
The ruins of the amphitheaters of Metz were infested by hundreds of snakes. The largest of them, the Graoully, had a venomous breath, a mouth bigger than its body and devoured men. Saint Clement chased it away into the Seille River.
King of serpents, the Basilisk takes many forms throughout history and appears in many tales. One of them takes place at the Gate of Saint-Eloi in Bordeaux, known today for its Big Bell, where a well was occupied by a Basilisk. It petrified with its gaze anyone who went there to fetch water. It was defeated by a man returning from the Egyptian crusade, who petrified the beast with its own gaze using a mirail (mirror).
The Cocatrix is born from a rooster's egg incubated by a toad. The egg has magical properties but must not be broken. People who cross its gaze die immediatly.
Made of wicker and covered in flowers, the Grand Bailla wanders the streets of Reims three days a year and feeds on gold and sweets. It was banished by Archbishop Charles Maurice le Tellier.
The Grand'Goule haunts the marshes of Poitou, the waters of the Clain and the flooded cellars of the abbey of Sainte Croix. It feeds on nuns and casse-museaux (snout-breakers, cakes). Saint Radegonde chased it away with holy water.
In the rivers of the Jura and the Alps there is a group of diverse dragons, the Vouivres. They are generally flying serpents covered in fire and guardians of treasures. Many have for a single eye a gigantic carbuncle with extraordinary powers, desired by those in search of wealth and power.
Hidden in the caves and cliffs of la Pointe du Roux near La Rochelle, the RĂŽ Beast traps and devours travelers in the coastal marshes. It was impaled by seven heroic pagans from the seas.
Mythical dragon of the Basque Country, Herensuge gave birth to the Sun and the Moon, swallowed all of Creation in ten days then regurgitated it in flames. Now asleep in the mountains, it sucks up flocks and shepherds in his sleep. When it wakes up, it will destroy the world in flames and blood. (illustration)
The belief in the Tooth Fairy is widespread in several countries in Europe, and is sometimes amalgamated with La Petite Souris (little mouse). It exchanges baby teeth for money. No one knows what it does with all these teeth.
The Camecruse is a bogeyman that haunts the moors and marshes of Gascony. It is agile, can jump and hide in the night to better devour lost children. No one knows exactly how it feeds.
The caves under the hill of the town of Hastingues are home to Lou Carcolh, a monstrous snail, long, slimy and hairy. Its shell is as big as a house. With the help of its tentacles, it grips people to devour them.
The Questing Beast is hunted by kings and heroes in Arthurian legends. It symbolizes evil, incest, violence and chaos, and takes it name from the loud noises that come out of its stomach, similar to the barking of dozens of dogs.
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