I wanna get better and write stuff for fun

I'm new here and I'm taking up writing as a hobby to learn to express myself as I'm recently learning to reconnect to my emotions and unlearn all the toxic masculine bullshit I was raised in. Still learning how Tumblr works so bear with me

[stone-hand]

Chapter 1

Yordem’s least favorite type of prisoner transport was the kind where you and a handful of soldiers you didn’t particularly like had to carry some asshole you hated across a city you despised and keep him safe from anybody with a knife in hand who might just decide to do the right thing today, which was unfortunate, because he’d spent most of his morning so far doing exactly that.

“Eyes up, Earthmantle!” shouted the commander. Yordem suppressed a crack about the commander’s lazy eye and whether the commander might know the difference between up and sideways.

“Yes, sir!” he barked, and resumed scanning the streets ahead for any trouble.

“Earthmantle!?” the prisoner asked with a twittering laugh that made the skin between Yordem’s shoulderblades itch. “Not just any dwarf, but a dwarf of means! How on earth does an Earthmantle wind up on guard duty? Must’ve done something to upset Daddy, didn’t w-” he cut off as Yordem shoved his shoulder forward. “That’s enough from you,” Yordem growled. While you’re still in our custody, you're still a prisoner."

“Temper, temper,” the prisoner chortled before resuming his leisurely stroll within the circle of underpaid guardsmen.

The prisoner they were transporting was an young elf from a lower noble house that no-one cared about who had just sat trial for abusing and eventually murdering one of the cleaning maids in his parent’s estate. Everyone knew he was guilty, as his initial acceptance of a plea deal was highly publicized, but his lawyers had found some unfortunate scruple nestled in the evidence reports that led to his eventual arrest, and the case wound up being thrown out for that technicality. Yordem’s rage at the elf simmered deep in his chest. He’d stood quietly as the prisoner made a teary-eyed speech, his noble family arrayed haughtily around him, about his sorrow at this misunderstanding, at how grateful he was for the services of such passionate and hard-working representation to see that this miscarriage of justice was stopped in it’s tracks and blah blah fucking rich piece of shit blah. It made Yordem sick; he wanted nothing more than to wrap this rapist’s teeth around the nearest curb and do whatever next came to mind. But he couldn’t. He was a soldier. He was a guardsman. He was an Earthmantle. There were expectations for his behavior.

Is this good? Is this anything? Should I keep going?

[stone-hand]

Orcs should be "humans if they evolved from wild boars instead of apes" and not "black people with green skin and fangs" and I'll fight about it

[sabertoothwalrus]

for those who don’t remember, “mole interest” was an experiment I did 2 years ago because I wanted to test what causes tags to go trending on tumblr. My hypothesis was that all it takes is one (1) post blowing up in an established tag to make the entire tag trend.

I had randomly generated 2 words, which is where “mole interest” came from. I failed to consider that by generating a new tag, it wouldn’t have had enough posts already in it to prove what I now call “the mole interest effect”.

But now it does.

In 2023, we said “fuck it” a la mythbusters and ended up doing whatever it took to get #mole interest to trend. And it did. And it happened to be September 11th that day, and we managed to get #mole interest to trend ABOVE #9/11.

So, in the name of science, I ask you to reblog just this post. Let’s put the mole interest effect to the test.

[stone-hand]

Fuck it, we ball

[stone-hand]

If I object to a thing on philosophical grounds, am I still allowed to enjoy it while it's here?

[stone-hand]

Me: OH THAT'S why I fucking hate Community now, even though I used to binge watch it as a comfort show.

Pretty fucking unfair how trauma fucks up your favorite shit by association. The comfortable thing you relied on to cope found something it couldn't make better, and was tainted forever for its trouble.

[stone-hand]

A cigarette would fix me

[stone-hand]

Garbanzo that bean till this chick peas 😎

[stone-hand]

Every summer, the place I work hosts a theater camp for high schoolers, and for 2 weeks my shop contains half a dozen to a dozen minors who are all socially awkward nerds that saw the highschool theater club and said "I wanna do that without being perceived"

So they wander into my workshop and I spend a couple weeks teaching them how to use power tools, and fasteners, and how to paint wood to look like different wood, and wouldn't you believe these kids are some of the coolest fucking people I've ever met?

And it makes me think back to when I was a teenager, and every time an adult was mean to me and I'm just like.... What the fuck.

[stone-hand]

What if every time you think about your pet that died it's because they're in heaven telling someone about you?

[chronictranssexuality]

"you don't owe anyone anything" You are a tar pit. Speak for yourself. I personally owe the cafe employees my dishes put away and my friends a listening ear and small scared insects a cup and a gentle trip outside. Hyperindividualism is a rancid infection borne of capitalism and willfully misinterpreted therapyspeak and I will defy it by continuing to be kind regardless of whether or not it benefits me personally

[stone-hand]

If I was a dj my name would be DieNasty

[stone-hand]

Mech pilots are such an underutilized trope farm

I'd kill for you, I'd burn down worlds. I can still feel the mech, it's phantom limb but my entire body. Will you still love me when I'm weak and powerless? Will you still love me when I'm nothing? The pistons in my calves need cleaning. I know they're not there. It feels like they're collecting dirt. I can still feel the barrels of my shoulder turrets spinning. I can't keep you safe like this. Where is my suit, please let me back in my suit, I need my suit I fucking need it please. Let me keep you safe.

[stone-hand]

I only really truly hate one single thing on this earth and it's the idiom "put down like a dog" because people only use it when they want to imply that someone was bad and deserved what they got but THE ONLY DOGS I'VE EVER PUT DOWN WERE GOOD AND THEY DESERVED MORE THAN I COULD GIVE THEM SO FUCK YOU

[stone-hand]

Ugh do I really have to tag EVERYTHING that seems fucking exhausting

[stone-hand]

Somebody said this is more fun when you just goof around with mutuals but turns out I don't know how to make friends here either

[stone-hand]

There is no fucking over reaction. It's fucking grief. You don't pour it out like the rest of an iced coffee you let melt in the car's cup holder then toss the crinkled cup of a lifetime cut short into the trashcan in the drive through to make room for a fast food diet coke, you stuff it in your mouth and hold it there like a wet rock you pulled out of a river and you rake your hands across the dry riverbed you pried it from until your palms bleed while the stone scrapes your back teeth as you scream into an uncaring sky why why was the only thing you love taken before you were ready to let go until you collapse into sobs only to notice that you didn't even take the time to match socks today. That's what grief is. It's painful nonsense left behind when the love you have sent out returns "null" in the target column and yes I ate today. I didn't want to but I did.