I was talking to @storeroomofandoms last night, and after careful analysis we have reached a conclusion that half of our f1 grid is either gay,bi, or unidentified. So fueled by 2am sleeplessness and a can of Dr pepper, i present my analysis
Both lando and oscar are bi. Like raging bisexuals. I've seen how lando looks at men. I've seen how oscar reacts to the word "bottom" there is no way they are straight. Also why was Lando fingering the table when he was talking with oscar before the pre season shoot in 2024????
Charles is bi but he doesn’t realise it yet. He thinks everyone is a little attracted to their rival/previous teammate.
Lewis is pansexual but he is also doomed. There is 0 possible evidence that could prove he is straight. Because wdym you and nico rosberg BROKE HOTEL BEDS WHILE WRESTLING?????. Lewis initially thought everyone is in love with their best friend but then reality hit him like a truck. 10/10 for aura though
Max is bi 100% i think he said in an interview with daniel that he doesnt remember if his first kiss was with a guy or a girl. Also the hair tuck when he sees charles??? max, STAND UP.
Yuki is bi leaning. But like, he is more heteroflexible. Like have you seen how he recognized pierre by just smelling him??? That’s codependent gay
Geroge is "i will kiss and fuck my best friend but not in a gay way" kind of bi. He just doesn’t want to accept that identity and wants to stay label free
See, kimi is hard to do because he is italian. He would kiss ollie in an italian way which may then evolve into gay way depending on how much alcohol is in his system
Pierre is french so automatic gay. I've seen him with yuki. His tension with estaban was off the charts
For franco, he flirts with everybody in sight. I would give him a heteroflexible rating, maybe a little pansexual.
Jack doohan is massive straight vibes. He would make pride flags in june, but he is the token straight of a gay friendgroup
Estaban is again the raging straight but he is such a big ally he makes everyone feel welcome.
Ollie wants to fuck the grid BAD. He has a "would fuck" and "wouldn't fuck" list and the would fuck list consists of kimi, gabriel,and carlos in that order
Isack and liam are gay only for eachother. They are straight with exceptions
Fernando alonso is pansexual. I don’t make rules he gives off the vibe. Also the age gap romance he has going on with lance??? His gayness shone with mark webber.
Lance is raging straight but with a daddy kink so he looks up to Fernando
Carlos is screaming bi at the top of his lungs. How the fuck does he have such good chemistry with everyone??? Max and carlos def fucked in their rookie era. Lando wanted to fuck carlos, and did succeed. Charles is still mourning the loss of his carlos. Nico hulkenberg is happy he got rid of the bratty bottom who made puppy eyes at him at any given moment. And oscar wants to hate fuck him.
Alex is raging bi. If he was not madly in love with lilly he would probably be fucking george
If you think anything going on in sauber is straight, stand in front of the mirror and say "i can't observe" at least times. THAT'S AGE GAP YAOI RIGHT THERE.
I would say nico is straight but no one says "suck my balls" to their rival and then become best friends with them. Him and kevin magnussen were definitely fucking behind the scenes
Gabriel screams bratty bottom . If not for the helmet, gabi and nico would've kissed twice by now. Also how he ran towards nico after Silverstone 2025??? That was some alchemy by taylor swift kinda shit
● daniel riccardo : biromantic
● seb vettle : pansexual (he flirted with anything that moved😭)
●mark webber : bi but plagued with trauma and nightmares of seb vettel
● kmag: unidentified. Possibilities suggest bi
●bottas : straight. Raging straight
● checo : straight but with a hint of gay which came out on occasion
●logan Sargent : American (and a tad bit gay)
Feel free to agree/disagree
