Sometimes I wish the internet didn't exist, ofc there are good things that come from it, news and information and it's a great source for information and learning and ofc it's a great way of meeting people, but because of the internet my life is so much more difficult, less because of the internet but more because of the people on it, people who go around online faking illnesses and turning it into a quirky esthetic and sure it makes people like me look more cute rather then a fucking freak but its come to the point where I feel the need to isolate myself out of fear of being hurt and harassed because people who don't even know me accuse me of faking my health, like in highschool I would go around at the start just being myself, I wouldn't mask and I would just let whatever happen happen because that's what was healthy, but then people started teasing me for stimming and ticcing, and after a while I had to stop out of shame, and I hated myself everyday for being the way I am, I would hold in my tics as much as I possibly could and would run to the bathroom when I couldn't hold it in any longer and because I held them in I would constantly have tic attacks and they would be horrifically painful, and my whole body would feel painfully irritated and tingly from holding in my stimming and I'd scream and cry in pain and overstimulation and would scratch at my body till I bled from irritability and by the time it was over I'd be covered in blood and in horrific pain in every part of my body and probably have lost my voice