“I don’t know,” Iswen admitted, staring down into her teacup. She’d spent time around mages; she knew that it was probably possible to see possible futures in things like tea. Or, if it wasn’t, she dearly wanted it to be.
“I know what my family intended for me,” she said, lifting the cup to take another grimacing sip. Merchant families married their children to other merchant families, or up into the nobility if they could make a canny match, or down into a family who could provide something to sell, if a younger child. At best she’d have an abacus pushed into her hands and the finer points of the business drummed into her head.
“It was never…in my nature,” she said tactfully. “That was why I joined the Templars. I could be who I am with them: a warrior, who protected people. Kirkwall merchant daughters don’t get to do that, except as Templars.” Her bad luck the Kirkwall Circle and Templars had been rotted from the core out.
“Where would you go?” she asked, curious, for a moment forgetting that Templars could not be curious of mages without arousing suspicion.
It had never occurred to her just how many people had no hand in their own fate. She’d seen plenty of it in the Circles, yes-- mages cooped up with a life they’d never wanted. She’d had friends who’d shared her sentiment, and they’d spent their time dreaming of the outside world where everyone was happy and FREE.
Surfacing to the reality of the outside world had showed her just how complicated it was. Circumstance was a hard mistress, and few people-- even the Empress of Orlais-- had control over it.
Perhaps she’d been robbed of less freedom than she’d initially thought.
“I’m not sure, really.” She shrugged, fingers plucking at the grain of the wood table. “All I ever wanted was to be somewhere ELSE-- I never really cared where. I’d want to go back home to my sisters, of course. And once we were together? Anywhere. Everywhere.”