SOME VAMPIRES SUCK DICK!
Not today Justin

Origami Around
cherry valley forever
hello vonnie

bliss lane
Claire Keane
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@theartofmadeline

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Sweet Seals For You, Always

★
The Stonewall Inn
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@straeh
SOME VAMPIRES SUCK DICK!
Gettin the good ads again
mutuals let's sit at the end of the dock and splash our feet in the water while we watch the sunset
(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right
That guy from heated rivalry always looks like you just told him you went back to your shitty boyfriend again
i'm not the praying sort, but i'll probably always have a soft spot for the astronaut's prayer
for those who aren't familiar with it, it's a possibly-spurious quote by alan shepard (and is thus sometimes referred to as the shepard's prayer) on the launchpad of Freedom 7, immediately before he became the first american in space. it goes like this:
"Dear Lord, please don't let me fuck up."
trying to explain to tumblr that the Middle Class in not their enemy
saw someone say that someone complaining about only having 7k in savings makes them contemplate “doing something bad”
you know that 7k covers like. one hospital visit WITH insurance, right?
“people who make six figures shouldn’t be allowed to complain —“ most people who make six figures are, these days, solidly middle class. where i live, a combined household income of $110k is *lower middle class*.
“people who can afford homes —“ are typically 400-600k in debt for them. also if “can own your own home” is your threshold for the rich you are contemplating eating, i think you are genuinely stupid
“boohoo your investments dropped, stop complaining rich boy” idk how to tell you this but. most of us have a retirement account. you should probably open one
thank you for being my friend again and again and again and again
them: why are you so sad all the time?
me:
yall gotta be nicer about m/f bc sometimes u guys like the blandest gay sutff ive ever seen in my life
gonna add onto this you all gotta stop acting like m/f is just cishet when bisexual people exist and straight trans people exist.
last add on alot of m/f ships of poc or white/poc ship are constantly downplayed for bland white m/m or f/f ships
#also sometimes u guys r just fuckig misogynist. abt the women in m/f ships. sorry
Chalk is squids road.
for a girl who loves sleep so much you think i’d go to bed earlier
I think grim reapers should wear little hats
I don't remember where I was going with this but I stand by it. give grim reapers big ole straw farmer's hats!
weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press
Like so?
precisely so
the fact that “the vibes here are rancid” is a power that the jedi actually have is insane to me
can you imagine being a normal dude and you’re getting help from this jedi, and this jedi dude’s like “head’s up, the next five minutes have the worst vibes imaginable” and you’re like “why?” and the jedi dude’s like “inscrutable cosmic power told me so, doesn’t get more specific than that”
like all these weird little men in weird little robes with glowy swords do is meditate because they have sorcerer-induced anxiety. yoda’s always fucking meditating on his little pillow because he has to figure out if he’s nauseous because the arcane will of all life itself is speaking through his midichlorians to warn him or if he just ate a bad burrito for lunch. the force is constantly dunking on these weird little men and telling them “something bad’s going to happen” and never explaining what’s going to happen. do you sense bad vibes because your washing machine is about to break and flood your apartment, or because the government you serve is about to turn into a dictatorship and mow your ass like grass? that’s for you to figure out
mace windu has Double Anxiety because every now and then he gets a pop-up that tells him when he is making a Significant Visual Novel Protag Choice
The Force: This Action Will Have Consequences!
Windu, downing three space ambien: great