Neato

Courtney. this is past yikes tbh this is straight up zoinks 

[below-zero-blog1]

[smokingroom1]

[happynewfears-deactivated201701]

when u thinking bout risking it all

[seinfeldia]

[todoriko]

[heavy breathing] there’.s…peas……in there…..!

[erarg]

sneeze on your knuckles before a fight in order to inflict poison damage

[ewaneneollav]

“your son died?! oh my god! i’m so sorry. h.. how, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“he couldnt exhibit enough self control to not submerge his fucking head in a river of chocolate”

[stanleykubricky-deactivated2026]

me when i’m in a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation:

[bajn]

how u look at ur bank account after u reblogged the money dog and u still have $2.63

[ganymedie]

i’m schmidt

[tragiccottonball]

[serenity-is-my-tardis]

PROFESSOR JIGGLY NO

[mastxrs-archived-deactivated201]

PROFESSOR JIGGLY YES

[alterniancongress]

@silverlexie

[silverlexie-blog1]

FREE THE REST OF YOUR ACADEMIC ALLIES PROFESSOR JIGGLY

[lophial]

I suffered from really bad chronic nosebleeds when I was a kid and one time i had one so bad it covered my face and chest and shirt. i mean it was everywhere i looked like i’d just eaten someone. so i go to my mom and tap her awake and she opens her eyes to see a blood soaked child leaning over her in the dark saying ‘please help’ and to this day and can still hear her screaming

[coeleste]

im crying omg

[stability]

[alicesaurusfragilis-blog]

this next trick is a little something i like to call “bulking out my bibliography with articles I barely looked at”

[ardatli]

“Works Sighted”

[cloudclad]

Is this dog okay

[lovelyardie]

I reblog this at least once a week because I connect with this dog on an emotional level

[charmancler]

when my dog barks for no reason

[thisishangingrockcomics-deactiv]

[greedyraptor]

[sonoanthony]

This is the funniest tweet I’ve read in my whole life.