How about 16 AND 62?
This turned out longer and somehow simultaneously sillier and more serious than I expected.
16 - stop touching my butt
62 - “This is the dumbest shit we've ever done.” “This was your idea.”
---
Billy sat crouched behind a bush, scowling and putting a finger to his lips as a twig snapped beneath Steve’s foot. The brunette cringed and mouthed ‘sorry.’ Billy rolled his eyes and turned back toward their target. The sun was starting to set and Billy was starting to worry their plan was going to fall apart.
“You sure he’ll be leaving? It’s almost seven.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve whispered. “He’s not the most punctual, but he wouldn’t bail on Joyce like that.”
“And El?”
“At Mike’s.” Steve crept a little closer. “What’s up with you? I’ve never seen you this anxious about… anything, really.”
Billy shook his head. “Nothing. I’m fine. Just getting impatient.”
Just as the words left Billy’s mouth, the lights in the cabin began to flip off one at a time. A minute later, Hopper stepped out of the front door, looking surprisingly dapper.
Billy flashed Steve a smirk. “Hop cleans up pretty well.”
“Gross. Shut up. He’ll hear you.”
Hopper’s Jeep roared to life and Jim Croce began crooning out of the stereo, quickly joined by Hopper’s own rendition. A minute later, the purr of the engine, along with Croce, faded into the distance as Hopper tore down the back roads.
“At least someone’s in a good mood,” Steve remarked as Billy slung a bag over his shoulder and the two made their way toward the cabin.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know, you’ve been a bit of a bitch lately. More than usual, I mean.”
Billy turned and cocked an eyebrow at Steve. “Is that right?” Steve nodded. “Well, sucks to be you, I guess. I plan on being a bitch all night.”
Steve could have sworn he saw the crook of Billy’s mouth twist into a smile as the boy turned back around.
A loud rattling skipped off into the evening as Billy fought with the doorknob. Neither of them should have been surprised the door was locked.
Steve snorted. “You’re lucky no one else lives out here.”
“Okay, smartass. Do you know how to pick a lock?”
“Well…” Steve’s face scrunched up. “Not exactly.”
“Thought so. Maybe you can stop critiquing me and go check the windows or something.”
“Fine,” Steve mumbled, heading off. “Bitch.”
“I heard that, asshole.”
After a few minutes, Steve came back around to find Billy sitting on the steps. “No luck. Y’know, Hop didn’t really strike me as the type to lock his windows.” Steve had expected at least a small chuckle for that. Instead, Billy sighed, and Steve was taken aback by how heavy it was. “You sure you’re okay?”
Billy shrugged and didn’t respond. After all the practices, the fights and makeups, the late night apologies, the begrudging hangouts while watching the kids, Steve had learned how to listen even when Billy wasn’t talking, which happened from time to time. The way Billy’s shoulder sagged was like a cry to Steve. The boy always had so much fight in him, so much tension in his muscles, that when all of that went away, Billy looked hollowed out, defeated.
“Something happen at home?” It was something they never really spoke about, but Steve had heard about it through Billy’s body language, and through Max.
Billy laughed and it sounded just as hollow as he looked. “Something’s always happening at home. But no. It’s just…” He rested his chin on his fist and looked over at Steve. “I know our lives are vastly different but… I understand her, in a way. El, I mean. I think I know some of the pain she felt growing up in that place.”
Steve didn’t know how to respond to that. There was a heaviness in the air he wasn’t used to. His parents had never spoken about anything of importance around him. It had always been on the periphery. He’d grown up without ever really learning how to hold a silence that heavy without feeling the need to break it. So it was with a hesitance somewhat foreign to him that Steve placed a hand on Billy’s shoulder and simply sat with him.
After a while, Billy finally spoke again. “Do you know what we did for my birthday after my mom left?” When Steve shook his head, Billy continued. “Nothing. Not once. Not even after Max and Susan came around. Well, not until this year.” There was a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “This year Max asked for a ride out of town, to some record store. And she asked me for a recommendation..” Now the smile was obvious, and there was a lightness to his voice. “She specified ‘something she hasn’t already heard me listen to a million times.’ So I suggested something I knew I’d like but hadn’t been able to buy yet. That little rat bought it and gave it to me when we got back in the car.” He sniffed. “First birthday present I’ve gotten since I was a kid.”
“I’m sorry. If I’d known–”
Billy shook his head. “Nah. We’ve never been close enough for gifts.” He laughed. “Maybe someday. But nah, don’t feel bad for that.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, my point was… I know El gets presents. I know Hop and the boys probably all have some awesome shit planned for her. And I’m happy. I just… I want to make her birthday special. And also annoy Hop, ‘cause that’s my new favourite hobby.” Billy grinned and Steve couldn’t help but imitate it.
“She’ll love it. I know she will. So let’s figure out how the fuck to get inside.”
Billy shrugged. “Don’t know how without breaking a window. And that’s not really my style.” Steve gave him a suspicious look. “Anymore. Okay, look, I was a different guy in Cali. Maybe it’s not so bad I was forced to move to this shithole town.”
With a nod that was far too enthusiastic, Steve said, “I’ve got an idea.”
“Stop touching my butt.”
“Damnit, Harrington, how else do you expect me to lift your giant ass up?”
Steve looked down at Billy. “Is this you finally admitting I’m taller than you?”
“Shut up and climb.”
Billy boosted Steve, by the ass, until the boy was able to place his feet on Billy’s shoulders. With a stretch, Steve’s fingers found purchase on the edge of the roof, and he began to pull himself up, assisted by Billy pushing up on Steve’s feet.
“Alright, now give me your hand.” Steve laid on his stomach and reached down for Billy, who quickly began to pull himself up. Steve grunted. “Holy shit, you’re heavy as Hell.”
“Yeah, muscle is heavy, you twink.”
Steve pulled Billy up the rest of the way. “I have no idea what that means or how to feel about it.”
Billy laughed. “I promise it’s not bad. And you’ll learn someday.” He winked.
Steve’s face immediately turned red. “Ew. Or… Whatever. What’s… What was that about?”
“Wow, you get flustered fast.”
“Shut up and go.”
Billy tilted his head, inspecting the piece of plywood boarding up the broken window above the bump-out they were standing on. “Guessing a tree branch took it out during the storm we had a couple weeks ago.”
“Okay, but can you get it off or not?”
Billy held up the crowbar they’d scavenged from the shed. “Eventually.”
After several frustrating minutes, Billy managed to pry the plywood free – mostly by breaking the corners where it was secured to the window frame.
“Sorry, Hop,” Billy mumbled as he set the plywood to the side and dropped down through the window with a grunt. “C’mon Harrington, it’s getting late.”
Steve stuck his head in through the window. “I think you got this. I’ll just drop the bag down.”
“Oh Hell no. If we get caught, we get caught together.”
“Okay, but you owe me.” He swung the bag around and dropped it into Billy’s waiting hands.” This is the dumbest shit we’ve ever done,” Steve grumbled as he lowered himself over the edge.
“This was your idea, dumbass.”
“Well, usually my ideas are great.”
Impatient at how long it was taking Steve to let go of the ledge, Billy walked over and grabbed Steve’s hips with a vice-like grip. “You can let go now.”
Steve did so, and Billy slowed his descent. “Oh. Um… Thank you.”
Billy grinned. “Any time. Now, let’s go. Who knows how long that date’s gonna last.”
They spent the better part of the next hour swapping out the contents of their bag. As Steve hauled the bag back to the Camaro, Billy did his best to nail the plywood back to the window frame, using a handful of random nails he’d found in the shed. By the time they’d packed up and made it a half mile down the road, Hopper was on his way back, singing with even more verve than before.
Billy smiled and glanced over at Steve with a bit of a twinkle in his eye. “You hungry?”
Hopper was in a good mood the next morning. Well, afternoon. He’d had a lovely night out with Joyce, and she’d actually liked his shirt this time, said it was cutting edge. He’d stayed up late, waiting for the call when El was ready to be picked up. They’d both had a late night and slept in.
“Happy birthday, kiddo,” he said, ruffling El’s hair as she came out of her bedroom. “You have a good night at the Wheelers’?”
El cocked her head and squinted. “Mike talks during movies. A lot.”
Hopper chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me. Hey, kid, I’m sorry we missed breakfast. I think you ate the last of the Eggos yesterday anyway. But I did buy some new TV dinners that looked like they could be good.” He shrugged. “We could give those a try for lunch.” El scrunched her nose but shrugged. “If we hate it, I’ll order us a pizza. How’s that?” He was answered with a smile.
Hopper pulled a couple TV dinners out of the freezer. His brow furrowed when he noticed the packaging had already been opened. When he asked El if she’d opened them, she shook her head. Confused, Hop pulled the tray out to find it stuffed with Eggos.
“What the Hell?” He pulled out the other one to find the same. “Did you do this?”
El came over to see what he was talking about and her face immediately lit up when she saw the Eggos.
“I’ll take that as a ‘no.’”
Hop spent the next few minutes pulling out every box of food in the fridge and freezer, to find them all full of Eggos. A flare of annoyance and frustration hit him, but it was quickly soothed by the look of absolute delight on El’s face as she went to pop a few Eggos in the toaster.
“There’s a note,” she said, handing Hop a piece of paper he hadn’t noticed sitting on the toaster.
We’ll bring your food back tonight. Just wanted El to start her birthday with a smile.
P.S. Also maybe wanted to annoy you a little.
P.P.S. Sorry about the plywood.
