We All Got That Friend Who Think They Can Outwit The Gods And Evade Their Fate
I dont just THINK I can outwit the gods I KNOW I can outwit the gods.
If a himbo like Hercules or Perseus can figure out ways to do it that fit their uniquely limited scope of braining goodly than I sure as hell can and I'll prove it.
Introduce Zeus to the hub and while he's busy polishing his spear and giving his fortune away to camgirls, I'll go speak with his victims and file police reports to take him to court and have him arrested and tried for his crimes/lock him in a room with a faraday cage inside it(means no zappy zap)
Poseidon is pretty creative but he's also super bipolar and likes to fight so he's even easier to beat I literally just have to give him some anti-depressants and he calms tf down
Hades is a massive simp for his wife(we stan healthy simping here) so much so that he gets jealous if Persephone starts liking something/someone a bit too much which means beating them is a 2 for 1.
All you gotta do is get Persephone to go to a massage parlor, a tanning salon, and of course girl gotta get her nails and hair done and boom Hades' gunna show up and be all like "you tryna steal my girl brah?" And I'll have already planned for this cuz guess what king? Your just in time to get your maini-pedi too take a load off and treat yourself, im just over here showing persephone some fun things for you two to do during your honeymoon mkay? I booked yall a room with a view, theres a pool on the balcony and room service.
Ares is fuckin the easiest literally just take him to the gym for massive gains or just teach him how to play fortnite or something, he'll be pro in like a week.
Demeter, just show her farmville and/or ask for advice on how to grow a rose bush on the third story balcony of your apartment
Help Aphrodite start an onlyfans and she'll be too focused on that
Introduce hermes to the stock market, cryptocurrency, and casinos
I can keep going
Been awhile cuz ive been tryna find this post of mine and only just now realized i can search for my old posts without having to scroll through them. Gunna see about listing some more gods i could beat and how id do so.
I'd get Hera involved in women's shelters and she'd get hella involed in womens rights organizations.
Hephaestus would be pretty easy to beat cuz I would just pull up a bunch of clips of Forged in Fire and blacksmithing youtubers and he'd be way too engrossed in that to want to fight.
I'd set up an archery range for Artemis and invite a bunch of my sword lesbian friends over to have a good time.
If Dionysus showed up I'd just take him on a tour of Martha's Vineyard and get wine drunk with him.
Hermes would find E-mail and Amazon to be cool as fuck.
I'd get the Muses set up on Spotify, Bamdcamp, and Soundcloud.
Bring Apollo to a cars and coffee and suddenly he'll go from wanting to beat my ass to arguing about engine displacement versus RPM and naturally aspirated versus forced induction.
Hecate would be fun to beat cuz instead of trying to fight her or distract her I'd just ask to learn from her and if she doesnt wanan teach me i could redirect her towards all the psychic scams and be like "these are the people claiming to have your kind of power you really want them to be the ones representing you in the modern day? Really queen??" And she'd curse them with misfortune and probably teach me some cool spells
Cant think of anymore greek gods at the moment but i wanna finish that pantheon off before i move on to the next xD
