dav

she/her 22

[bonesblubs]

Beefleaf for my lovely patrons <3

[riceballannie]

When you slowly realize that the love you have for Neil and Andrew as a couple stems from the fact that, even though they're a mess of two of the most fucked up people in existence with loads of issues and trauma, they still manage to establish a suprisingly healthy and non-toxic relationship with each other.

They might not have what some might call a conventional relationship - there are no whispered sweet nothings, elaborate love declarations and romantic candle-lit dinners.

However, what they do have works well for them and it's mutual respect for each other, they feel safe and comfortable with each other and they take special care in asking for their partner's consent and accepting given boundaries.

Which honestly should be the bare minimum in any relationship but somehow Neil and Andrew seem to succeed in it, while others apparently struggle to accept a simple "No" in real life.

Even a lot of other book couples, despite having a lot of typically romantic scenes with each other, veer uncomfortably close to the direction of absolutely shit communication, emotional manipulation, dubious consent and straight-up SA.

I don't give a single fuck about how their lips softly meet under the glowing moonlight after a heartfelt love confession when the relationship is otherwise filled with overwhelmingly possessive jealousy that restricts their partner's freedom immensely, supposed sexy and dominant growls of "You belong to me/You are mine" that make their partner out to be more of a prized possession and decisions made on behalf of their partner for their "own good" without actually respecting their choices and agency - a problematic relationship where the needs and wants of one partner completely overshadows those of the other until they don't even exist as separate individiuals anymore.

I'd rather have a relationship like Neil and Andrew's - unconventional but strong where trust, consent and mutual respect is a given.

It's tragic that the bar is so low.

The bar is in fucking hell.

[currently-evil]

Yeah sure we know how Neil is with reporters (bloody brilliant that’s how he is) but How about Andrew? How  does he act in front of the camera?

My personal headcannon is that he will do ANYTHING not to talk about Exy, especially as a Proffesional Exy player.

And I imagine him going through phases, testing how much he can do, before his PR Agent snaps and tries to kill him.

First time he is chosen to talk to reporters at the end of the game… he just keeps silent. Stare at all people with dead bored eyes, until they give up and ask somebody else.

Yeah, no, that can’t be. His PR Agent immediately tells him you have to, HAVE TO talk to the reporters, Andrew.

Very well, Andrew can talk to them.

Next time he answers all of their questions…. in german.

Ok, I see what you are doing here, I see. But no, stop that. In English Andrew, answer in English.

No problem.  So Andrew of course answers questions in English, by convincing every reporter that he is Aaron (and also implying that they are incompetent by catching the wrong brother.)

Andrew can tell his PR agent is a step away from nervous breakdown when he gets a berating letter from her the next day. (He blocked her everywhere out of spite.) This time he even got a list that said You can’t keep silent with reporters, you can’t answer them in another language and you can’t claim you are Aaron, you have to talk about exy.

And honestly all that can be arranged.

So next time he talk with reporters, even in english! and don’t claim to be Aron single time… instead he tells them he really doesn’t know anything about exy.

You see the thing with Andrew is that he has this energy, this posture, this quiet self confidence that makes it really hard to realize if he  is lying or not.

Just picture room full of sports journalists staring at Andrew unsure, quietly looking at each other trying to judge what is really going on.

“You dont know anything about exy?”

“nope”

“None of the rules?”

“Nothing”

“But…but you play professionally!”

“I was told I have to keep the ball out of the goal, I don’t know anything else.”

“You … you trained with Kevin Day! Son of the exy! How is it possible??”

“Kevin also told me to keep the ball out of the goal.”

Needless to say it’s one of the funniest after game interviews to exist and the moment Andrew’s agent starts looking for another job.

[what-a-heavenly-way-to-diee]

it’s not a full post but i saw this and immediately thought of neil

[andrew-minyards-bitch]

nathaniel, lola and the mafia: [trying to kill Neil and also get him to pay their money back]

Neil: nah, nah it’s not funny av got skwel

[theolddivorcedzukka]

new mother-daughter bonding activities just dropped: psychoanalyzing your father

[backliners]

neil and allison headcanons lets do it

☆WILL talk shit about anyone and look smug doing it. even if you call them out they just stage whisper behind their hands while maintaining eye contact ☆will talk shit about reporters IN FRONT of reporters ☆have the same shitty taste in shitty reality tv. they binge watch for hours. ☆paint each others nails bc why not ☆neil Tries to braid allisons hair and ties it into a knot on accident. allison doesnt talk to him for a week and a half and aims all the exy balls at his ankles during practice ☆allison tries to take neil to nice restaurants with actual high quality food but neil doesnt even like it he prefers garbage ☆neil: its good! its good i swear im just not that hungry. hey can we stop at dennys on the way back ☆they have a joint twitter account ☆neil: allison is gone so im gonna buy 25 new exy racquets matt: why neil: shes pretty much 85% of my impulse control ☆a million inside jokes between them so allison can just deadpan say ‘extra chunky’ and neil busts a fucking gut ☆allison ‘never talk to me or my son neil again’ reynolds ☆both pull all-nighters to finish schoolwork and in the morning the rest of the team finds them half-dead with their blood like 60% coffee ☆UNSTOPPABLE team at playing chicken ☆get mistaken for dating all the time when theyre out. allison immediately turns to neil and says ‘i want a divorce’ ☆allison does that thing where she rests her elbow on neils shoulder and leans on him ☆they both overreact to minor inconveniences ☆’the wifi is out’ ‘i want you to kill me. i want to die Immediately.’ ☆can have conversations completely through emojis THANKS

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

played sims 4 for the first time and one of the married cis men had a desire to try for baby with his cis husband. i accidentally pinned it and could not unpin it. trying for baby is physically impossible. I tried to use cheats to give him a viable womb in create a sim but it wouldn’t let me do so retroactively. so I thought, maybe if they adopt the want for pregnancy will go away, and had them adopt a toddler daughter. but then the try for baby desire did not go away. since they now had an unwanted adopted child I tried to remove the toddler from the household, thinking this would send her back into the ether. it did not. instead she wanders the neighborhood like a feral cat. i thought the social worker would come and take her back so someone else could adopt her, but I guess there is no social worker in sims 4. so now the neighborhood is haunted by a smelly miserable baby that has no home but cannot die and everyone who sees her is uncomfortable. fucking omelas scenario.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

no one is feeding her but every time she gets hungry she simply produces a carton of milk out of the ether and drinks it

[mistykaru]

i couldn’t make up my mind for who would be who for this meme but this is what i thought of first therefore

[jeannemaybedarc]

happy halloween, foxes 🧡🎃

[jeannemaybedarc]

andrew doesn't like hugs.

andrew doesn't like hugs, but neil is one big exception

[groupielove21]

This is something that Andrew and Neil would say

[the-plothole-court]

kevin after discovering neil’s real identity:

[heyimboredtalktome]

besties i can’t do this anymore (hasn’t done anything)

[thedustyleaves]

Stranger Things, but what if it was a comic 👀 

[jewishjon]

At Zuko and Sokka’s wedding, Katara should tell the story of the time Aang was like “Maybe we shouldn’t leave Zuko to freeze to death in this blizzard” and Sokka was like ‘‘No, fuck that guy”

[halfhardtorock]

[my-random-fandoms]

I am SCREAMING. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. True himbo energy.