Like as a hot topic emo-goth there's no way she isn't familiar with like sexy vampire romance (tm), I truthfully think it might actually take her until after saving the world for it to click–WAIT HOLD ON WAIT I need to grab something oh my god
This is ALLEGEDLY a glitch inn leak but I have no other source than a random pintrest post and one-off word of mouth by someone I don't know personally, if anyone can confirm or deny if this is actually a glitch render and not fan made PLEASE let me know
Cause if it's real I have SO many thoughts about it (and nobody wanted to discuss this with me nobody thought it was a big deal!! But you guys will I just know it), if it's Not real that's a bummer but, in that case I'm still keeping the headcanons, but—
I can see why this would be a scrapped idea because it's definitely way too on the nose when it comes to the fact she does eventually fall for N, which also means it wouldn't be "canon", HOWEVER I personally like to view it as a thing Uzi did draw and we just never saw, because it actually REALLY lines up with who she is.
She's an outcast amongst her peers who treat her like a dangerous freak, her one living parent is distant from her, she's very ostracized and lonely, more than she lets on (but we do know she has some sticky notes about.. idr the exact wording atm but they had to do with how she is not making friends)
While murder drones are enemies of her kind and she wants to prove herself by being the only one with the courage to bring tnem down, it actually makes a lotttttt of sense why she'd actually have like, secret fantasies about.. some sort of rogue murder drone who falls for her instead of, y'know, murdering her, because as someone others act scared of and make her feel like she doesn't belong with them.. yeah that makes a lot of sense to have a "what if I belonged somewhere else, and there was someone who wouldn't be scared of me because they're ALSO scary, and could only see beautiful things in me. And also maybe they would kill all my bullies cause fuck them"
The funny thing is it seemed like she didn't even know the murder drones could talk, so she might have always assumed they were mindless bloodthirsty monsters. So in that sense, it would probably also feels weird to imagine "What if one loved me though" when they.. aren't sapient people capable of it (in addition to feeling weird having that fantasy about beings that terrorize and slaughter her kind like animals.. sapient or not)
It's a really really fascinating dip into her inner psyche imo, just how DEEPLY she feels othered and just as "damaged" as everyone else sees her. If only some cool bad boy would come sweep her off her feet and take her away from all that 💔
And all that is why I like keeping this as a headcanon even if the leak is fake. I think it's really truly plausible for her.
What's precious about all that too, is she DID pretty much see that fantasy come true, or at least most of it, and in some unexpected ways. N did turn out to be a "rebellious" murder drone but.. in his silly, sheepish N way (that Uzi set him on that path of lol). He did though 100% see and understand her in a way no one else ever did, he wasn't the least bit afraid of her (even when she had her first solver fueled murder spree). He also protected her with his life!!
And that's all the wholesome stuff now I gotta bring up the spicy angle.
Ever since seeing that image, I imagined that Uzi would write these top secret "murder drone fanfics" with herself as a self insert. And I bet her dreamboat edgy killer boy she named like Shadow or Blade or something lmao.
And like there's just no way I don't think she'd get a lil freaky about it too. Those things have fangs and claws. She probably pictured some steamy scenes about getting pinned against the wall by huge sharp claws... also of course getting bitten vampire style, and like, Mr. Long tan and handsome saying she has the sweetest tasting oil on the planet,naturally for a drone as beautiful as her ~
And I love imagining how after everything's settled down, no more battles, just her and N being happy, she probably thinks back to her fanfics and feels really embarrassed, and maybe worries what N might think if he knew. Like quite in line with how I like imagining in general, Uzi worries if drawing intimate attention to his specific DD features would be uncomfortable for him, now that she knows his .. disturbing lore. She'd probably think it was extra insensitive to say she was having weird fantasies about that stuff before she even knew he had, like, real feelings.
But at the same time it'd come into her mind like... she cannot avoid the reality in a CRAZY twist of events she got her ~ rebellious, beauty loving Shadow the Drone ~ but also he's the biggest sweetie in the whole world who loves puppies and pink gamergirl gear (and gosh I imagine that was never on her list of peak boyfriend material, even if she didn't think it was cringe or anything, just not something she'd picture, y'know what I mean? But she's also a wonderfully accepting person, and N being himself is his ultimate freedom!) .
So like wtf can she even do with these lingering thoughts about a murder hunk soaked in the blood of a fresh kill pinning her down and licking the side of her cheek ,,, and the fact that she DID, at one point, see N's capacity for ruthlessness and the way he was entertained by playing with his prey (and holy hell did he play with her. He was INTO her fighting spirit, he was drawing that out). How could she POSSIBLY bring up any of these violent thoughts when every day she looks at him and he'll be all cozy in a blanket and looking at book of baby animal photos and giggling, he's Not a killer, not a sadist, he probably regrets all his awful actions and the last thing he wants is to be reminded of them.. right?? Especially Uzi, almost killing her, the person who be the love of his whole life, how is she gonna be like "Ok so like hypothetically if I wasn't gonna die and everything would have been fine, and no judgement ok just curious, did you think I looked hot bleeding out at the time, just a yes or no question"
I think the whole thing adds a layer of cuteness to the two of them being anxious about their insecurities and trying to navigate them. N worried if Uzi has any inner fear she's hiding, but oh no if he asks it might sound like an accusation..! He doesn't want that! He'll just make sure to always present himself disarming as possible. don't even give her a reason to be scared, no reason to flash any claws while theyre just at home chilling and not fighting any giant dinosaurs or other rigorous outdoor activity. And meanwhile uzi is like. Man I can't .. tear this popcorn bag open.. God it's really on there... Really tough plastic. If only I had some sort of tool that could easily cut a clean line across, something sharp, but I can't think of anything I own <- hid all of the knives and scissors in J's work briefcase she already left with
Their buildup to freaky stuff would be sooo slow and gentle and cute 💞 a lot of shy stumbling over words and feeling embarrassed and them being flustered trying something for the first time, especially anything that has to do with N's teeth or tail or claws because he would be so so nervous about hurting her (yes of course she's tough as nails and a cut would be nothing, but the emotional aspect! Worrying about messing up and her losing trust in him!), he also probably never considered ever using the destructive parts of him for intimacy so it being "hot" is a brand new concept even to himself.. and he will be finding out as he does things for her, the reason she finds them hot 👀
And aaaa I just want their endgame to be Uzi being like, N it is so okay you're a Disassembly drone I don't want you to repress it and have to settle for sustaining yourself with the mediocrity of stale oil and never for the rest of forever feeling the thrill you're literally programmed to crave and at one point enjoyed, not when I have fucking God powers and I love you more than life itself and I'm not afraid of you. There's literally no reason for you to sacrifice so much mental space to coping with that. I want you to feel safe to let go sometimes and alleviate that ache, and nobody ever has to know but us. Also I literally think it's hot and want it, you're doing it for me too.
And I want that to be the foundation of how crazyyyy they eventually get like, N really tearing into her and stuff and her only becoming more excited to love and praise that violent side of him that, yes absolutely caused a lot of harm and made a lot of mistakes, and it was something he didn't get to choose having, but it doesn't HAVE to represent something permanently damaged about him. It can be embraced as a positive part of who he is and that can literally be "this part of me is for bonding with my partner and we both enjoy it how we choose to experience it" that is as good and valid as any other part of him, and it can be a source of self love rather than remorse and shame.
It's very hard to see, but that note appears during Uzi's alarm segment, on her right/our left
