Hello. I'm Stu. Please use he or they pronouns for me.
I'm a part in a system (main: @2d-gorillaz ).
I'm an introjected part who came about in 2017. I am a grounded part, so I do not think I am literally 2D, or have pseudo-memories of the band, etc. Please do not call me 2D. Call me Stu (or Stuart if you want to be formal 🤷♂️).
I identify as somewhere between 30 and 35.
I enjoy cheap/B-rated old horror movies, guitars, city life, travel, and more. I also have been learning to play the guitar and ukelele when I have the time. I can play the melodica and enjoy singing.
I'm spoken for.
I'm a traumatised part (we all are).
I'm a recovered drinker & smoker, sober for 4-5 years. There may be times where I vent about urges to do these things again. They'll be tagged as "alcohol cw" or "smoking cw" for your own well-being.
My music interests include but isn't limited to:
Elton John
Ultravox
The Psychedelic Furs
Depeche Mode
David Bowie
The Monkees
I don't know what to blog about yet, but I'll try to make some interesting posts to read. If you have a topic in mind, let me know!
i think as adults it's our responsibility to be nice to kids and treat them with the respect we wish we got at that age and im not kidding or exaggerating in the least
Putting this in the DID tags if other systems need it. Just know that I preach peace and love between other parts in my system, so some reminders may not be applicable. Please do not be disrespectful on this post.
Quoting another post on here: "There is no minimum amount of suffering before you are allowed to want to alleviate it." Original Post.
My trauma(s) did not make me stronger, and I'm not obligated to anyone to act like it did. It hurt me, and I did not deserve or ask for it. It was not my fault.
If I have to ask "Was it traumatic enough?" the answer is a most likely "yes". I would not need to ask otherwise.
My trauma is not "cringe" or "embarrassing" and even if it is "cringe", it does not nullify the pain it caused.
I am safe to ask for help.
I am safe to let others near me.
No matter what abusers and persecutory parts have said, I am worthy of love, tenderness, and comfort.
Silence internally does not mean I have been faking DID/OSDD. (If anything, it likely means I'm dissociating more!)
Clarity on memories previously forgotten does not mean I am faking DID/OSDD. (That's likely some dissociation subsiding.)
I am not required to be wildly different and separate from my parts to be a "valid" or "acceptable" system.
I am the sum of my parts. I am the love between me and my parts.
No matter what, my system loves me even if tensions are high.
I am strong and resilient, but I do not need to be these things all the time.
Not being able to recall the trauma in vivid detail doesn't mean it didn't happen. Not being able to recall most or any of it aside from feelings doesn't mean it didn't happen.
When all else fails, my inner world is a safe space for myself. I am entitled to comfort in my inner world.
I deserve a say in what the system does as much as any other part, host included.
Also I'm sorry that it looks like I just woke up today and decided to put the entire system on blast. I just wanted to get these reminders up before I inevitably forget.
I'm lumping these affirmations together since for our system, the relationship with gender is very physical. With a system of 7 and 6 use he/him to a degree, it's no question that we want to be masculine.
On Femininity, Masculinity, Androgyny, Transitioning
These aren't all lessons that system members need to learn. A LOT of this will be preaching to the choir, but some fragments need the reminder sometimes.
Femininity is not inherently weak. It does not make me frail. It does not mean I'm weak. It does not invalidate my gender as someone who is transmasculine.
I am allowed to feel a connection to femininity. My relationship with femininity is defined only by my terms, and does not need to adhere to what others say. Whether that is still viewing childhood me as feminine does not invalidate my masculinity now.
Being masculine does not mean I cannot be vulnerable, emotional, or passive.
I'm allowed to have a different relationship with masculinity than others. I define that relationship regardless of what others believe what is and isn't "masculine".
Androgyny and what it means is unique to me. No one knows what is and isn't "androgynous" in my personal experience. It is what I make it, and is just as correct as someone else's experiences with androgyny.
There is no such thing as "not trans enough". I am trans, and just as trans as the people fully transitioned and just as trans as newly come-out trans people. There is nothing that makes me "not trans enough".
Being trans does not mean I hate myself, or femininity. For me, being trans means I love (healthy) masculinity and wish to embrace it.
I define where the journey starts and ends with transitioning. Only I have a say in where that journey goes.
My gender identity does not define the clothes, accessories, make up (or lackthereof) etc I wear. I wear what makes me happy and what I think looks good.
On Bodies and Connecting to it
I am specifically aiming this at Dee, the part who struggles the hardest with body image. A lot of what I do is centered around supporting through those struggles. So I'm more or less just re-hashing what I already say. These are going under a read more because some are more personal than others. Trigger warning for disordered eating habits.
No matter who, there will always be a difference between internal and external presentation. You may not be able to get your body to match how you view yourself perfectly, and that is ok. You do not need to take extreme measures to achieve these things. These differences make you who you are.
You take care of your body, not just for yourself, but for the system as well.
A loving gesture towards your body is a loving gesture to the system.
Your definition of caring for your body is extremely personal and is not defined by others.
No matter how much you try to fight it, your body needs food. Your body needs to digest food.
You understand that fasting comes with caveats, just as much as intuitive eating does.
You understand that purging in all forms does not have any benefits-- only detriments.
The answer to overeating is not fasting. The answer is to understand that it was one day and too start the next day fresh.
One bad day with this does not make you a failure. You simply get back on the horse and try again.
No one is watching you eat. You are allowed to eat in public spaces like everyone else.
Going to be posting a bunch of these affirmations and reminders because I'm going to ask for them to be added to our treatment plan as regular reading in therapy.
A Very Certain Someone in the system struggles with our autism diagnosis, so I'm putting these affirmations here.
Autism gives me the ability to see the world in a new way, and solve problems that neurotypicals haven't been able to.
Autism gives me passion, a desire to learn, and a love for research.
Autism does not make me less deserving of human needs. I am not lesser than my neurotypical peers.
The world desperately needs Autistic people. The world wants me here, and needs my unique contributions and effect on it.
The hateful rhetoric that scares me is a loud minority. Humans are not inherently hateful.
Autism gives me unique strengths beyond problem-solving and what can be gained monetarily by those strengths.
Because I am just as deserving of support as my neurotypical peers, I am allowed to ask for help when I need it.
I love my Autistic friends, loved ones, and peers. I must extend that love to myself as well.
Just like how others exercise patience when understanding me and my needs, I will do the same for others.
Others want to hear me talk and be happy, no matter what. Autism and my limited interests do not make me automatically annoying.
Autism does not mean I lack empathy and understanding of others. Quite the opposite actually.
I am allowed to stim. That includes rocking, squealing, flapping, and any other "socially unacceptable" stims. I take care of my needs in ways that do not hurt others.
I need not hide my Autism or the real me to suit a hypothetically unaccepting audience. I deserve to be my true, authentic self like everyone else in this world, and that's what my loved ones want, too.
