Documenting My Journey

[stuckonmonk]

Continued from last post

https://earnsmartonlineclass.com/non-phone-work-at-home-jobs/

https://hearmefolks.com/get-paid-to-read-books

https://workfromhomehappiness.com/the-moonlighters-guide-to-working-from-home/

https://www.unconventionalprosperity.com/10-side-hustles-skyrocket-income/

https://fattenthewallet.com/online-proofreading-jobs-for-beginners/

https://www.thewisehalf.com/20-legitimate-data-entry-jobs-from-home-without-investment/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=pinterest&utm_campaign=tailwind_smartloop&utm_content=smartloop&utm_term=25571450

[stuckonmonk]

If I can get 12/hr for 8 hours a day, five days a week, that gross 1,920 a month. I would just need 3 months to move. I can do that. I can do it. I just need to find a 12/hr job... Saving these links for later:

https://www.dreamshala.com/genuine-online-jobs-paying-upto-20-an-hour/

https://www.dreamshala.com/best-data-entry-jobs-from-home/

https://appen.com/jobs/contributor/

https://www.workingnomads.co/jobs

https://www.dreamshala.com/25-companies-that-offer-online-transcription-jobs/

https://www.dreamshala.com/great-ways-to-make-money-fast-earn-50-daily/

https://www.dreamshala.com/how-to-make-money-fast-easy-ways-to-earn-daily/

https://www.dreamshala.com/money-making-hobbies-that-pay/

https://www.dreamshala.com/make-money-while-sleeping/

https://www.dreamshala.com/ways-to-make-extra-money/

https://www.dreamshala.com/legit-passive-income-ideas/

https://www.dreamshala.com/virtual-assistant-jobs/

https://www.dreamshala.com/work-at-home-jobs-that-pay-weekly/

https://www.dreamshala.com/work-from-anywhere-jobs/

https://www.transcribeanywhere.com/free-mini-course

https://www.transcribeanywhere.com/offers/rr2GoDiK/checkout

https://www.gmrtranscription.com/careers-for-apply_general_transcriptionist.aspx

https://www.dreamshala.com/work-from-home-companies-that-pay-weekly/

https://www.dreamshala.com/13-easy-ideas-to-start-a-business-without-investment-in-2018/

https://www.dreamshala.com/work-from-anywhere-jobs/

https://www.fiverr.com/?utm_source=3021&utm_medium=cx_affiliate&utm_campaign=&cxd_token=3021_741049_|afp0:17692|afp1:102fca25fb58035f00797a1bd8a915&show_join=true

https://www.flexjobs.com/

https://www.surveyjunkie.com/lp36?a=2954&s1=dreamshala&rid=132332373

https://www.inboxdollars.com/?p=track&a=ir11111&sub=17692&subid=Xtv3YZTFexyORYkwUx0Mo3YVUkiTr%3AwNyzpOw80&sa1=475&sa2=704480&aff_sid=Xtv3YZTFexyORYkwUx0Mo3YVUkiTr%3AwNyzpOw80&irgwc=1&cxid=11111-17692&cmp=2107

https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/4855348/15539HO?PSID=1021d544a50e286512eed9e1c93a64&SID=17692

https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/5133953/15127HO&aff_sub2=17692&aff_unique1=1028f69a10fccf6024f4670615e412

https://www.opinioncity.com/lp1.html?id=1_36856696&cs_click_id=187747300&v1=38&v2=399&v3=17692&v4=&v5=

https://remotebliss.com/

https://www.dreamshala.com/mturk-review-amazon-mturk/

https://www.dreamshala.com/make-money-with-phrendly-app-review/

Another idea - flipping free stuff from craiglist. Also, selling unwanted items in my house, rather than just throwing them away.

[stuckonmonk]

Standing Still

A lot of my time is spent waiting.

Need to get out - have to wait.

Need money - have to wait.

Need a car - have to wait.

Need a daycare - have to wait.

I have to wait on everything and I can’t help wondering how long I have to wait.

[stuckonmonk]

Optimism

Things are starting to look up.

New opportunities have presented themselves and I’m hoping more good things come from this.

I just need to stay silent and vigilant. 

Keep him out of my head, keep MYSELF out of my head.

Keep Jesus close to my heart. 

Put positive energy into my life.

I can do this.

I have to.

I can’t let my sons grow up thinking this is how you treat a woman.

I can’t raise my daughter thinking she has to settle.

They are worth the world and I will do better.

[stuckonmonk]

Explanation

When you hear the word “abuse”, what do you think of?

I, myself, picture black eyes and bruises. I picture blue and red flashing lights. I picture terrified eyes and mouse-like behavior.

Those are examples of what I was taught to recognize as abuse.

I never would have pictured it as crying myself to sleep - every. single. night.

I never pictured abuse as begging and pleading to be loved by someone who was so clearly supposed to do so naturally.

I never pictured it as constant stress. Never pictured hating and dreading the weekends.

I most certainly never in a million years pictured it as being too scared to be pregnant by my partner, so scared I could never love the child of the man who wrecked me.

It’s invisible abuse. The kind that ruins the spirit, the heart, and the mind. It’s poison.

So real and so ignored.

So criticized by the rest of the world so it becomes a joke, nonexistent.

That might be why it took me so long to accept it in the first place. 

This is real. And this is not okay.

This is Day One. This is the day I accept what is happening and this is the day that I decide to change my future.

I am a mother of 3 beautiful kids. I am a daughter of the Most High King. I am beauty and grace and I will kick you in the face.

My goal is to document this journey - my decision to leave my abuse boyfriend, the man I thought I was supposed to marry. 

My hope is that somewhere down the line, I can look back and see all that I had accomplished and remember not to falter. I can do all things through Christ and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me.

My hope is that someone else will come across my musings and find the will and strength to pull themselves out of their situation.

I can do this, and if I can do it, anyone can.