#leaving abuse

[d0ll-part-s]

untitled poem from 2024 i never posted

i.k.b

[unwelcome-ozian]

[giulietta-hearthful]

Hidden Signs of Abuse in a Relationship

Emotional, Verbal & Psychological Abuse

• You feel like you're in a constant freeze state around them.

• Avoiding conflict out of fear of their reaction.

• Every interaction feels like a minefield—like walking on eggshells.

• You frequently and unnecessary apologise, even for trivial matters.

• Feeling chronically sad, anxious, or depressed in the relationship.

• You blame yourself for their behavior and constantly wonder what you did wrong.

• They switch personalities—acting loving in front of others but being cruel in private.

• Extreme highs and lows—periods of intense affection (love bombing) followed by cruelty or neglect, keeping you trapped in an emotional rollercoaster.

• Gaslighting—making you doubt your reality or experiences.

• Patronizing, name-calling, belittling your accomplishments, or putting you down in front of others.

• Mocking your past traumas (e.g., saying you deserved it).

• Blaming you for everything that goes wrong.

• Telling you to make a choice, but lashing out if they don’t like your decision.

• Invalidating your feelings or disregarding them when you express distress.

• You feel like they love your looks or domestic labor, but not your personality.

• Lashing out in public and private spaces.

• Punishing you with silent treatment or withholding affection.

• You think you are making yourself smaller just to keep them happy

Isolation & Control

• Isolating you from friends, family, and support systems.

• Monitoring your devices, social media, or whereabouts.

• Getting mad if you don’t respond to texts immediately.

• Constantly calling and messaging, then getting mad at you for not replying fast enough.

• Following you when you go out or insisting on always providing transportation.

• Enforcing strict routines, dictating how you manage work, household tasks, childcare, or leisure time.

• Controlling finances, withholding money, or creating debt in your name.

Physical & Sexual Abuse

• Unwanted physical touch, and they don’t stop when you tell them to.

• Physical aggression—gripping your wrist too hard, biting you, throwing objects at you (even if it’s "not a punch or slap").

• Driving erratically when you're with them.

• Coercing you into sex or making you feel obligated.

Threats & Fear Tactics

• Threatening to leave you to keep you compliant.

• Threatening suicide if you try to leave.

• Throwing, kicking, or hitting objects in anger.

Health & Stress-Related Signs

• Chronic pain, tension, fatigue, and muscle knots due to stress.

How to Leave an Abusive Relationship (Especially When Living Together)

Leaving an abusive relationship is dangerous and difficult, especially when living with the abuser. Planning ahead is crucial.

1. Preparing to Leave Safely

• Find a safe place (friend, family, shelter, or domestic violence refuge).

• Confide in someone you trust and establish a code word for emergencies.

• Pack an emergency bag (ID, money, keys, meds, important documents, clothes, burner phone if needed).

• Save money discreetly if the abuser controls finances.

• Plan your exit carefully—leave when they’re out or asleep, and arrange transportation.

• Gather evidence (texts, photos, emails, journal entries) in case you need legal protection.

• Consider a restraining order for safety and legal protection.

• Contact organization for helping victims of domestic violence in your country

2. Staying in the Home & Removing the Abuser

If leaving isn’t an option, you may be able to legally remove the abuser:

• File for a restraining order to force them to leave.

• Call the police if you are in danger.

• Change locks and improve security once they’re gone.

• Inform trusted neighbors, friends, or workplace security for extra protection.

If you recognize these signs, know that you're not alone. Abuse can be difficult to identify, especially when it doesn’t look the way we expect. If you think something feels wrong, trust yourself.

If you have more signs to add, feel free to share. Raising awareness can help others recognize what they’re going through.

[daylightcoffee]

When you learn youre dealing with someone with the emotional maturity of a french fry so you leave the restaurant and wonder why you feel so dehydrated.

Go drink some water my love.

[everlastinghistory]

becoming a better version of yourself after they tried to destroy you while you were already at your lowest will always be the best feeling.

you tried to drag me further down, but there wasn’t much further i could go. so instead, i started fixing things.

now i’m happier than you’ll ever be so long as you keep the attitude that led here.

[collamusica]

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨We have been contacted by a Snack Sack mom who is bravely leaving an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, she has suffered significant loss and damage to her property during this difficult time.

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 As part of our support efforts, we kindly ask that you consider providing this family with store gift cards (Target, Walmart, grocery stores etc.,) so that she can purchase necessary replacements and upgrades within the safety of her new environment.

Please message me if your have gift cards and I will forward them to mom.

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 I’m begging you all to take this very serious as not everyone has the tools and the resources to leave abusive situations. Let’s support this mama.

Here’s how to support. PLEASE give what you can:

1. https://donorbox.org/snack-sack-donations

2. @Chamieka on Venmo

3. $ChamiekaSH

For Cash App and Venmo ONLY, please write “mom” in the notes in an effort to maintain accurate and transparent records.

Link directly to the Snack Shack

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/VQnoUa8SrokoArDz/?mibextid=TrneLp

[awkwardlyadorableprincess]

Recently I've been on a cold and dark path

Once again, seeking those souls that are stuck

Those who need need light

I lend my warmth to each that I pass

So they might find their way back to themselves

Forgetting to keep any for myself, barely enough for me to continue on

A whisper creeps in and promises warmth

The last of my light fades

I believe him, he sounds so convincing

I follow the voice and the cold seeps deeper into my bones

I can no longer see

Suddenly I feel scared

I've become stuck in my own despair

I can't breathe

I need to escape this darkness

But he's the only thing keeping me warm

What if I freeze?

So I stay

And find comfort where I can

Over and over

The fear

The warmth

The cold

The comfort

But the faintest voices remind me that I can fight

The voices begin to get louder and I try to call for them

They are calling my name

Lights slowly begin to surround me

I don't have to fight alone after all

Strength surrounds me as they lend me their warmth

The voice begins its most vicious attack

With them helping me I let out a scream

The attack stops

I wake up with light shining through my eyelids

It is warm and inviting

I open my eyes

Im home

I'm safe

I'm protected

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding for 2 years

My eyes fill with tears of gratitude

I'm home

I'm safe

I'm protected

They never stopped looking for me

They never stopped loving me

I feel lighter somehow

Kinder

Happier

I am free

Knowing I am worth seeking

Knowing that even in the darkest moments I will always have my last bit of light

Knowing that I am truly supported

Knowing that I am not crazy

Knowing that I am going to be able to heal

-my take on getting into, being in, and leaving an extremely emotionally abusive relationship and realizing that my friends and family will truly never give up on loving me and so I should love myself that much. It's also just to get it out of my head

[stuckonmonk]

Explanation

When you hear the word “abuse”, what do you think of?

I, myself, picture black eyes and bruises. I picture blue and red flashing lights. I picture terrified eyes and mouse-like behavior.

Those are examples of what I was taught to recognize as abuse.

I never would have pictured it as crying myself to sleep - every. single. night.

I never pictured abuse as begging and pleading to be loved by someone who was so clearly supposed to do so naturally.

I never pictured it as constant stress. Never pictured hating and dreading the weekends.

I most certainly never in a million years pictured it as being too scared to be pregnant by my partner, so scared I could never love the child of the man who wrecked me.

It’s invisible abuse. The kind that ruins the spirit, the heart, and the mind. It’s poison.

So real and so ignored.

So criticized by the rest of the world so it becomes a joke, nonexistent.

That might be why it took me so long to accept it in the first place. 

This is real. And this is not okay.

This is Day One. This is the day I accept what is happening and this is the day that I decide to change my future.

I am a mother of 3 beautiful kids. I am a daughter of the Most High King. I am beauty and grace and I will kick you in the face.

My goal is to document this journey - my decision to leave my abuse boyfriend, the man I thought I was supposed to marry. 

My hope is that somewhere down the line, I can look back and see all that I had accomplished and remember not to falter. I can do all things through Christ and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me.

My hope is that someone else will come across my musings and find the will and strength to pull themselves out of their situation.

I can do this, and if I can do it, anyone can.