Rocky thought that a hickey was the human equivalent of a mating mark. So, one day when the purplish bruise on your neck finally faded, Rocky panics.
“Grace and (YLN) not mates anymore. Question?” Frantic chords vibrate from him. Both you and Ryland look confused as to where he got this idea. “Huh? No, buddy. No way. We’re still very much together” Ryland answered, reaching up to push his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose, “why did you think we weren't?”
The verbal confirmation that his favourite humans haven’t split up, calms Rocky down. He lets out a slower series of notes, “Mating mark not there on (YLN) anymore”. Ryland’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Mating mark?” He blinked, tracking Rocky’s pointed claw, which was pointed at you. Ryland turned his head toward you, only to find you already touching the exact spot at the base of your neck where the hickey had been. Ryland’s eyebrows shot upward, his lips parting as he breathed a faint, horrified, “Oh”.
Immediately, he flushes. “Rocky, no!” his voice cracking slightly. “Uhm, that’s completely…that’s not…” He trailed off helplessly, his eyes darting to you in a plea for backup. You offered absolutely none. Instead, you bit down hard on your lower lip, shoulders shaking as you held back your laughter.
“That is absolutely not a mating mark, bud" Ryland attempted to tap back to his teacher-voice, though it was currently a full octave higher than normal, "humans don’t carry permanent biological indicators of…of pair-bonding”. Rocky’s form tilts, “But Grace give that mark during mating, yes. Question?” Letting out series of curious chords.
Whatever composure Ryland had left shattered. His shoulders slumped forward. At that exact moment, he looked like he would gladly float into the scary, infinite dark space rather than spend another second explaining his sexual choreography to a five-legged alien. “Grace not answer Rocky" the Eridian says, his tones shifting into a disapproving hum. "Grace not good mate to (YLN). Statement”. That was your breaking point, finally letting yourself laugh.
Ryland buried his face entirely in his hands, letting out a groan. “Oh my God, stop laughing, baby” Ryland mumbled into his palms, his voice muffled. He looks up at Rocky again, “Rocky, It’s just…a pressure mark. Uhm, kind of a bite. It has nothing to do with our relationship status”.
Rocky lifted two claws, mimicking a pinching motion, “Grace bite (YLN) for science. Question?”You leaned against a table, wiping a tear from your eye. “Yes, Dr Grace” you managed to breathe out, “please tell our Eridian friend. Was it for science?”
Ryland dropped his hands, glaring at you with a mixture of betrayal and embarrassment, though a tiny smile threatened to crack through his flushed state. “You are evil” he muttered to you, before turning back to Rocky, “No, Rocky. Not for science. Just…human biology is weird. Can we talk about actual science now? Please?”
Rocky let out an amused tune “Humans weird weird weird. Grace more weird”. Ryland suddenly felt the same helplessness he felt back on Earth, being a middle school science teacher trapped in a classroom full of giggling preteens.