KILLING EVE 1.08 | God, I'm Tired
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KILLING EVE 1.08 | God, I'm Tired
My coven is Claudia.
Referencing Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss
Print here!
When the post goes triple platinum in the mutual circle and you have to scroll past the same thing seven times in a row
they should have made another search engine called Ask Wooster where it gives you the wrong answer every time
also its important to me that shane Knew he was gay the whole time, it was this Thing itches in the back of his brain, something he couldn't look at head on or really think about. bc admitting it was like giving up. but its not that he didn't Know. shane hollander didn't have to have rose tell him hes gay for him to be like "oh huh really i hadn't noticed" bc he Knew. and you can see it so clearly on his face in that scene how he knew. how thinking about it scares him, how Really looking at this part of himself feels impossible. but again shanes not just completely unselfaware, he knows this about himself he just Hopes he can make it work. that it doesnt really matter. he likes rose Enough, he likes girls Enough, it can be Enough
I don’t really have anything new to add to the conversation but I miss when we were talking about Shane having a crush on certified kind cutie Carter Vaughan. The vibes with that headcanon are so sunny. Shane’s little head swivel like “don’t even sweat it Vaughany” or whatever he says. No notes! Let Shane Hollander plant himself next to Carter at the mens firgure skating short program while also worrying about Ilya. He’s a guy and he likes guys. Let the guy have a crush and let it be on Carter.
*Headcanon shouldering it's way through my normally airtight Hollanov agenda*
Like obviously I'm all Hollanov all the time just look at my fucking ao3 but imagine if during the Olympics Carter and Shane just had a little kiss of SOME KIND? Lemme set the scene so we can properly play with our Olympic fleece-wearing limited edition Shane Hollander collector Barbie Doll:
So we don't really see what Shane does the remainder of the Olympics after his encounter with Ilya, since the POV shifts to Ilya and the Russian crew after that (artfully, I might add), so we're free to kind of imagine what Shane gets up to the rest of the time. We know he plays Team USA in the gold medal game, and wins silver. (I'm going off of show canon here I don't remember what happens in the book at this point)
Personally! I don't think that's the last time Shane hangs out with Scott and Carter. They end up meeting up a couple times, sometimes with other players from Team Canada or Team USA, but one time it's just Carter who finds Shane like intently staring at a crack in the sidewalk while he works out a play in his head, and also tries to work out why he cares what Ilya says or does because it's certainly not because he's harboring feelings.
Carter would be like:
"Holy shit Hollzy! You finding the meaning of life down there?"
Shane: *little smiley laugh that he does* "Oh, nah, just working some stuff out. Must have looked weird though?"
*Ruffling Shane's hair, punching shoulder* "Nah man, you're good. I'm just breaking your balls. Was just about to go for a run, weather's crazy, man. Wanna come?"
Shane, thinking about the rules, there must be rules, there's gotta be a rule here that he would be breaking and then something bad will happen:
"I don't know, should we?"
Carter, with another jab to Shane's shoulder: "Come on, the game's not until next week. You can get all brooding monk on us tomorrow."
Shane doesn't really get that joke or maybe he's just distracted because Carter's got this nice smile and Carter just seems so confident and unshakable without being cocky or brash, and he's the same on the ice as he is off of it, just a great guy and a great player, and why shouldn't Shane hang out with someone like that? IT'S NOT AS IF ROZANOV WANTS TO HANG OUT- come on Hollander tighten up, shove that down.
"Yeah, yeah, just let me change into my fucking Reeboks."
"Yeahhhhh!!!"
So then they hang out and have a great day being cute heartthrobs of hockey, and someone gets a pic of them jogging and it's such great PR for team Canada and Team USA that shows sportsmanship and camaraderie at the games (which if you remember Sochi they were just plagued with bad press so these good boys of hockey bring some love and light to the news cycle). Shane has a nice time! He feels like keyed up after but in a good way.
The next time he sees Rozanov it's in the stands during the gold medal game, and for a split second Shane thinks that maybe he caught his eye while he's skating out to the center of the ice, but then Carter's there, on Scott's right, serious but not scary, focused but friendly, and he's like whatever. Rozanov can watch all he wants with that brooding glare. Shane's got a job to do.
SO THEN.
After the game and the loss and Shane proudly accepting the silver medal but also being like FUCK would have really liked gold, and all the media engagements, Shane's back in his moldy little room packing, and who shows up to knock on the doorframe but Carter Vaughan, and he's coming to say goodbye, which okay, that's a little weird of course they're all packing up and leaving and they'll see each other on the ice back home so it's not really necessary, but Carter seems like he wants to chat so Shane doesn't think much of it when Carter like swings the door shut behind him because yeah it's loud as fuck in the halls like what Shane imagines college dorms are like from what he's seen in the movies and Carter is like:
"Yeah, it's been great man. Just taking it all in. It went by so fast right?"
"Yeah I mean you never know when we'll get this opportunity again," Shane says, carefully packing a stack of clothes in a duffel bag.
"And It's been great, hanging out, you know? We don't get to just chill, like ever."
And okay, that's maybe a little weird. Do guys say that kind of thing to each other? Shane is going through his Rolodex of acceptable bland responses, something will diffuse the bomb ticking in his chest because Rozanov never answered him, and Shane's so stupid to have feelings about this anyway, he's a failure, he only got a silver medal, and maybe it's because of how distracted he's allowed himself to be, and how he allowed himself for that split second to think he and Rozanov were anything, and how stupid could he be, but then Carter's voice breaks through:
"—See you back on the ice. One for the road?"
And then Carter is opening his arms and oh, okay, Shane knows how to do a bro hug, but Carter doesn't do the one-armed quick squeeze, he fully wraps his arms around Shane and stays there for a few beats. And just as Shane gets his own arms up Carter is like turning his face and pressing a downright smooch to Shane's cheek.
Carter backs up before the heat flares up Shane's neck and face, and fuck, Hollander, get it together, hockey players are always stupid physical like this to each other, it doesn't mean anything, but then—
Is Carter looking a little glassy-eyed too? Maybe a tinge of a blush on the high points of his cheeks? He laughs a little shakily, punches Shane's arm with a little one-two motion.
"My guy, Hollzy." Carter says, but like his voice cracks a little.
"See you, Vaughany." Shane clears his throat like there's an entire frog in his mouth. "We'll get you back at home, got it?"
"Keep dreaming, man!"
Any then they go their separate ways but Shane has a LITTLE SOMETHING to smile about on the plane ride home.
~
SHUT!!! Up!!!! This is my barbie dolls time and I say they had a smooch and felt warm and fuzzy about it!! Also years later, Shane and Ilya are talking about Sochi, and Ilya like sits up in bed serious like:
"I should have been honest with you. I'm sorry I acted that way."
Shane shrugs. "You were going through a lot. And you didn't do anything wrong, I was taking a stupid risk for both of us. And anyway," he says, heating up a little at a memory, "I had a good time with the guys after, even with Scott and Carter."
Ilya narrows his gaze. "What are you blushing about, Hollander?"
Actual quote was like, "He should have been dancing at the Chaumière, as young people have a moral obligation to do."
One more late contribution to Barricade Week. I think M. Gillenormand is one of my favorite characters from the book. He is not a very good guardian, but everything he does is so funny. I had to pause at the end of this chapter to draw this.
eating is better than not eating. takeaway for the third day in a row? reheated leftovers? sandwiches for dinner? who cares! eating is better than not eating! obviously it's best if you can be eating balanced and filling meals regularly, but it's more important that you survive than that everything you eat is perfectly healthy. if you only had a slice of bread for lunch, you still ate something. you need food to stay alive. well done. eating is better than not eating.
Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope
living mango to mango
pavitraprabhakars
lebe von mango zu mango
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but above all, one must not concern oneself with the opinions of people who censor the word fuck
Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller Director's Commentary Notes
12.00 PM (S02E06) 11.00 AM (S01E05)
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.