a scrapbook of posts

28 // canada // I've been on this hellsite since 2011 and the circus still never ceases to amaze me. not a content space assumed to be for minors; NSFW content of various kinds may be posted without tags or warning at any time. don't assume anything I post is agreement with everything op has ever said and done, fact check things yourselves please n thank, and don't forget to not piss on the poor ✌🏽 apologies for not replying to asks and messages much of the time, tumblr is not a platform for meaningful activism in my life, and I choose to engage with causes off of this site; this doesn't mean they are being ignored. // for legal purposes, everything I post is a joke //

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[hairynakedandnotafraid]

[jame7t]

Honestly humans should be able to deploy little parasitic creatures called “learnlets” to go learn new things, or discover hidden ideas, and then return in the evenings

[cryptotheism]

You have to eat them for dinner or other evening meal to gain their knowledge okay

[cryptotheism]

you can seek out and eat the learnlets of your enemies for the purposes of war

[jeremiu]

Akihiko Miyoshi, Artist Statement, 2004

[optical-trapping]

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[goldensunset]

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

[concerningwolves]

You get bigger so you can store even MORE love and appreciation for the world inside of you

[monsieurenjlolras]

It means you'll be at the antique mall looking at a coffee table and thinking "blorbo and Squimbus would LOVE this coffee table"

[beemovieerotica]

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[thelawfulchaotic]

You've been convicted of a crime. You've (perhaps) served jail or prison time, paid your debt to society, and you're done. You step out of those jailhouse doors absolutely free!

Haha. Hahaha.

Welcome to Part 5 of How Courts Actually Work. Part 1 (Why are police so bad at investigation?), Part 2 (How to pay money to leave jail), Part 3 (What is a trial and how), and Part 4 (Why prison?) are all available on my tumblr.

–

In our current criminal punishment bureaucracy, realistically no one gets released without being on some form of "community supervision." This may sound unfamiliar to you, but you've heard of it before, usually in the forms of "parole" or "probation."

It works like this.

Once you are released, you report first to your parole/probation officer. (I'm going to be using "probation" here because my jurisdiction has abolished parole; see last post. This is essentially equally applicable to parole, though.) They have you sign a set of rules. These rules usually have some variation of the following:

1: NO CRIME.

2: Get a job, keep a job. (Exception is if you are disabled and on Social Security disability income.)

3. Always tell the truth to the probation officer and let them visit your house.

4: NO DRUG. NO ALCOHOL (maybe). NO GUN.

5: Call your probation officer if anything happens at all at any time and get their permission to do normal adult things.

There are some more subtle variations like don't live with anyone else convicted of a felony, and there can also be "special" conditions like submit to drug treatment, or register on the sex offender registry, or no contact with your ex.

On the surface, these things seem more or less simple: lots of adults every day in America get by with no alcohol, gun, drug, crime. However. You start running into trouble right there at "job." It's pretty commonly known that having a crime on your record makes finding a job A Lot Worse, so I'm not going to harp on that one; we all know. If you were hiring, you'd probably consider it, especially before you read this and realized how stupid most successfully prosecuted crimes are.

Let's talk about no drug, alcohol. You will probably be required to do random drug and alcohol screens (they can detect the byproducts of alcohol in your urine, so buckle up, you're still on the hook for that one). You will be observed peeing. It will be humiliating. That will be the least of it. You're like: no problem, I don't do drugs. Hold on, my friend.

Pretty much every "scheduled drug" (drugs that are classified according to potential for abuse) has benign/legal compounds that create false positives. Gabapentin can create a false positive for benzodiazepines (like Xanax, Valium, etc). Effexor can create false positives for methamphetamine. So can Prozac or beta blockers. Adderall creates a correct positive for amphetamines, but is, let's be clear, one of the safest and most effective psychiatric medications for any condition on the market. Various cold and flu remedies can give false positives. Depending on how they are washed and processed, poppy seeds can still give false positives for marijuana. Antihistamines, Benadryl, and ibuprofen can show up as PCP. Seroquel shows up like methadone.

In a simple drug screen, none of these are distinguished from each other. All a drug screen does is show yes/no. A more complex drug test (off to the lab!) is required to distinguish. Probation officers may not want to send a test to the lab, may believe you're lying about what you took, and may attempt to intimidate you into signing admissions for drug use. Given that a probation officer can have you arrested without a warrant or any kind of judicial approval, their threats are gonna seem pretty important!

So that's the problem with drug screens and their accuracy. How about timing?

One of the most common ways to do random drug screens is called "color code." People have to call in every (day? week?) by a certain time to hear whether their "color" is up for a random screen. If it is, they have to find a way to get in to the probation office to get tested. With lack of transportation, spotty cell access, and potentially great distances to the probation office, as well as punishing work schedules in places that will fire you if you miss your job without notice, these can be a problem. Moreover, those of you with executive dysfunction should be wincing right now, because you know that correctly calling in every week at the right time is going to be a problem for someone who's drowning.

In addition, probation will almost certainly require you to go and do some kind of treatment for something, these days. It's usually drug treatment, but sometimes psychological treatment. These groups will be whatever is cheap and available, which means it'll likely be during business hours. Pray to your gods that your Early Recovery Skills group is available by phone and you can fit it in your lunch break, or otherwise your constant need to drive to the probation office to go to that appointment is going to lose you your job.

And, oops, you violated probation.

Or you could skip the Early Recovery, keep the job, and –

Sorry, no, you've violated your probation.

You missed Early Recovery because it was a shift you couldn't reschedule, but you can make it in next week! Okay but if you miss one more you're terminated from the class, and, you guessed it –

Violation.

Folks, probation is actually pretty hard and complicated. In addition, it does not help the people who are going through it. Like, in an ideal world, we're talking: people get out of jail, and someone keeps an eye on them to make sure they don't return to a Life of Crime and to help hook them up with the right job programs to give them something to strive for. In reality, they go straight from being institutionalized and subject to a rigid routine to being free and needing to jump through what's actually an incredible number of hoops, very quickly.

It's hard to be an adult and alive. Imagine being an adult and alive who has to stay out of jail by doing a bunch of extra shit!

It's important to note that probation was not always this way. Not everyone used to get probation, and not every violation turned into jail time. There has been a noticeable change.

According to the Office of Justice Programs, about 1 in 6 offenders admitted to prison in 1980 were there for probation or parole violations. In 2021 and 2022, the percentage that were there for violations of probation or parole was 44-45%. From 17% in 1980 to 45% in 2022.

From 17% in 1980 to 45% in 2022.

From 17% to 45%.

Are you starting to understand why the population of our prisons skyrocketed between 1980 and 2010?

The reality of probation and parole now is that you can't get free. There are too many requirements. It's made for failure. And even if you do complete your requirements completely, even if you are picture perfect on probation, you will never stop paying for what you did, because criminal records are forever.

In my jurisdiction, this includes juvenile records. If you have any conviction as a juvenile, it will last past your adulthood. A misdemeanor will stick around until you're 21 or after 5 years has passed, whichever is longer. A felony will stick around forever (but might not prevent you from voting or buying a gun after the age of 29!).

Okay, okay, you say, at least tell me that all this probation, all these violations, have done something. Have they made people safer? Have they reduced crime?

Uh, apparently? No. Extra-intense supervision has been studied with relation to both low-risk and high-risk offenders, and it doesn't help community safety with either one. What it does do is send more of them to prison in the first two years of probation. Same with extra-long terms of probation. Same with kids on probation. There's no point; there's no benefit.

If I bring this up to a prosecutor, you know what they have always said? Literally, without any exception? All of them?

"Okay, we'll just put them in jail instead."

Coool. Cool cool cool. That's the point you should take from this, for sure.

–

Let's talk about the impact of this incredible explosion in extra jail time.

This is felt most keenly in poor communities. (Especially poor communities that are black or Latino.) Remember when I was talking about investigations, and how nearly every case is low-hanging easy fruit? That stuff is all from poor communities. Search a beaten-up car, and the odds are pretty decent that you'll find, somewhere in the trash, a used baggy or bit of pipe that has some drug residue on it. Bam, drug felony, and that person's in the system.

Every time one of these people goes to jail, those closest to them are seriously affected. You're taking away single parents and primary wage-earners, and putting them behind bars long enough for them to lose their jobs, apartments, and cars, and have all of their possessions carted off to the dump, kicked to the curb, or destroyed. Imagine starting from zero. Imagine starting from zero with your credit score shattered because you couldn't make your car payments because you were in prison for not going to your Early Recovery Skills group.

Kids are deprived of their parents not once, not twice, but over and over again over the course of childhood. They're deprived of the food and shelter that adult could maintain for them. They see their parent get sucked back again and again. How is a kid like that supposed to have any hope for the future? How are they supposed to feel about themselves when they constantly see their dad over a tablet at a jail, fifteen minutes at a time?

Figures indicate that as many as a third of black men spend time in jail or prison over the course of their lives. Those black men and their sons are wrenched apart. Their futures are squeezed dry because Joe Senator doesn't want to pay for another program. The kids are deprived at school, stereotyped, and eventually arrested. When they're arrested and sentenced, more money is spent on them to lock them up a single year than has been spent on their education and medical care over the course of a lifetime.

In the meantime, the Atlantic is writing articles about our Generation of Loneliness. They note that in the inner city, facilities that used to be public are only opening behind locked doors. Pools, clubhouses, sports fields? Community gathering centers? They don't exist anymore. These kids have nowhere to go. If they go into foster care, and dare to express any non-positive emotion, especially the older kids, they're likely to be shunted off to restrictive and locked mental health facilities that are rife with abuse and corruption, and that, on the surface, look a hell of a lot like jails.

I'm off-topic.

What leaves me speechless with my clients isn't that so many of them fail. It's that some of them actually succeed. In the midst of the economy and more stacked endlessly against them, they manage to trick Medicaid into funding drug treatment programs long-term, or they find programs that act as job resources too. They build themselves up from the ashes they started with. And they thrive.

–

Let's talk about penalties for probation violations.

My jurisdiction, a couple years ago, switched up the penalties. If you do a "technical violation" – that is, if you don't get a new criminal charge, and instead you just fail a drug test or don't keep employment – your first time carries no jail time. Second time, a few weeks.

Great! That's a step in the right direction.

Again, not so fast. "Technical violations" did not include "special conditions of probation." You know, the ones like sex offender registries and no contact with exes? So, when faced with this limitation on their previously unlimited power to sentence for violations, judges began to list every

single

condition

as a special condition of probation, in their sentencing orders.

When the Court of Appeals shot this down, they started putting in any possible way they could expand those conditions to make it a special condition.

And it's worked.

You have to "follow the probation officer's recommendations for drug treatment." But if the court orders a special condition of drug treatment, and you don't go? That's a special condition violation, not a technical violation, and now you can get jail time for it.

Yes, courts responded to this clear signal of legislative intent by directly attempting to bypass it and give people more jail time. This should not be surprising. Judges sentence people to jail, and they have to believe that it works. Ego protection and confirmation bias entrench them in this position over the course of decades.

For a special condition violation, you could get all of your suspended time back.

–

Let's talk about an example in a previous post, Jane, who gets 3 years with 2 years suspended. Jane is ordered into drug treatment. Jane can't juggle it, mostly because of transportation. She gets 2 full years revoked. She appeals it – this is wrong!

The Court of Appeals will tell her: you can't appeal this jail time. It was previously imposed on you back when you agreed to your deal. It's too late now.

Let's go back in time. Say Jane appeals it at the time, and says that two years of suspended time is too much. You know what the Court of Appeals would say?

You can't appeal that jail time. It's not imposed; you don't have to serve it. You have no grounds for appeal. It's just suspended. It may never happen to you.

–

To my authors reading this: there is almost no possible way that you can make a bureaucracy more nonsensical than our criminal justice system already is. You will, in fact, probably have to tone it down, if you're going to write about it. This is one big reason that nobody knows what a clusterfuck it is.

idk, y'all, I think I've basically covered it. If anyone has specific questions about aspects of this – appointed lawyers? Jury selection? Juvenile law? – let me know and I'll do my best. Again, I've been a practicing lawyer going on ten years. I don't mind spilling the bean tea.

[warmhappycat]

Well this is horrifying

[thelawfulchaotic]

Yes! Correct!

[ampervadasz]

[lesbianbettyboop]

not to sound like a crazy sjw but parents putting little girls in frilly dresses/lavish clothes and telling them not to run, climb, play in dirt, etc lest they ruin their outfits or somebody look up their skirts is one of the most direct ways we as a society teach girls that they are only ornamental and cut their childhoods short

[eroscestlavie]

I need to stop replying to “how do you make friends in your 30s?” threads because all my answers boil down to “you have to want to know people instead of have friends” and I don’t think people wanna hear that

[eroscestlavie]

It’s like. People can tell if you don’t really like or connect with them. If you aren’t truly enamored with someone you will have a hard time coming up with activities to do together to deepen the friendship. Because you don’t really like that person that much.

[yamada-ryo]

having lunch and someone's watching cnc videoes loud as fuck style so i'm just here chewing my food while there's sounds of water jetting and steel screeching in the back

[retroactivebakeries]

[deviantplum]

Me reading "CNC": Consensual non-consent

Me reading "water jetting and steel screeching": oh so it's really niche consensual non-consent

[gandalf-the-bean]

wait what else would it stand for

[phosphoenolpyruvat]

Computer numerical control - Wikipedia

[towerologia-sideblog]

[takingoffmyshoes]

they told me not to get lost in the weeds, but these are lush, beautiful, and ecologically necessary native plants so it's probably fine

[brick-match]

Major pet peeve in my own life is that the brick and mortar on the porch columns of my apartment don't match the rest of the building. It's not something most people would notice at first or maybe at all, but it drives me crazy.

The brick on the building is an old sandmold standard-size flashed burgundy brick and a plain buff mortar in a flush joint. If I were to match these, I would use Belden Brick's Belcrest 740 bricks. Those aren't available in standard size, but the modular size they're made in will work because it's the same height. (Matching size exactly doesn't really matter for columns or other projects where the brick isn't going to be laid directly into the existing brick wythes (in fact, the bricks on the columns are a bit longer and a bit less tall than the bricks on the house)). I'd match the mortar with Heidelberg's Old Colonial, the go-to for matching older structures, from their Flamingo colored mortar series. Heidelberg's premixed Old Colonial could also work.

The brick on the columns is just over 8 inches long and just under 2 1/4 inches tall, so it's a weird size. They may have been "seconds", meaning the factory screwed up and had to sell them at a discount. That would explain the mismatch -- mighta been a 1970s Landlord Special. Nonetheless, they're beautiful bricks. A rusty brown color with ironspot texture ("ironspot" is somewhat literal: the clay and/or shale is mixed with actual flecks of metal, usually manganese these days I think, that melts in the kiln and makes a sort of glaze of freckles on the surface of the brick!), laid with an almost-matching red mortar.

These bricks have to have been discounted, because it shouldn't have been at all difficult to match the brick on the existing building. The reason for the red mortar evades me; colored mortars are usually more expensive than plain mortar. More traditional colors like Old Colonial are popular enough to be not much pricier than the plain grey. Idk why tf they woulda done red, except maybe to hurt me personally.

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

this is exactly the type of rant i signed up to tumblr to see

[batshit-auspol]

Here's our most requested item: Bob Katter's same-sex marriage speech, in all its unhinged glory

Follow for more Batshit Moments in Australian politics!