Such Is My Dance

A blog from the mind of a British male 25-year-old in London. I write about all sorts of stuff - most of them nerdy - and this blog includes lots of swearing and may be NSFW.

[jugandbettsdetectiveagency]

guys… I don’t know if you know this but… if you wake up early… there’s so many more hours in the day

[anextrapart]

[all1sees]

So Google does math for you??

division

square roots

dividing percentages

IT EVEN FOILS

beautiful.

[qurioq]

i just checked ALL of these on my calculator and they are all correct

all. fucking. correct.

[averagedopeydope]

DAYUM, SON! IF ONLY THIS WAS AVIALABLE WHEN I WAS ON SCHOOL >:(

[my-little-mod-blog]

HAH! You kids. When I was in school, it wouldn’t help because we still used Roman numerals back then!

AHAHAHAHAHA-

oh my god

i’ll just be over here shutting the fuck up right about now

[dutchster]

you can even solve geometric problems

or plot graphs

even 3D graphs!!!

[neilcicierega]

Yeah, but can it-

Oh

[football-milk]

today we will eat at Mass Surveillance

[such-is-my-dance]

The deal is done. Aubameyang to Arsenal, Giroud to Chelsea, and Batshuayi to Dortmund on a 6-month loan.

This is one of those deals that sort of makes sense for all sides, but I don’t think this can be called “good business” for any of the teams involved.

Arsenal broke their transfer record in the summer to get Alexandre Lacazette, and now they’ve broken it again to bring in another attacker. And now they have to work out what kind of formation and system is going to support their new stable of attacking talent - Aubameyang, Ozil, Lacazette, Mkhitaryan, and Iwobi. 

There’s decent incentive for Arsenal to be so aggressive; they probably think they have a real good chance at the Europa League, which is important for getting into the Champions League next year (they’re now 8 points behind 4th placed Liverpool in the table), and they have a Carabao Cup final against Man City next month.

But the future of the club is in huge doubt at the moment, as nobody seems sure how long Wenger is staying around, and in just over six months they’ve spent around £100 million for two players - a 26-year-old and a 28-year-old - and let their best attacking player walk away essentially for nothing. I love Aubameyang as a player, but if I were a die-hard Arsenal fan, I would have serious concerns about the business being done by the club at the moment.

That said, there is one bit of good news for the future of the club: they just signed Ozil to a new contract that keeps him at the Emirates until 2021. Guess they learnt their lesson after letting Sanchez walk.

As for Chelsea, they ended up involved in this deal because they wanted a striker to complement Morata and rumours surrounding a move for Roma’s Edin Dzeko clearly went nowhere. Batshuayi has been majorly out of favour at Stamford Bridge, and £18 million and a 18-month deal for a 31-year-old striker with a good goal record and tons of Premier League experience is perfectly reasonable.

But there’s no way that this was Chelsea’s preferred option for a new striker, and I’ve heard multiple pundits say that this is just throwing a bone in a fairly lame attempt to appease Conte, who seems almost certain to leave at the end of the season, barring some sort of Di Matteo-esque Champions League miracle.

And as for Dortmund, they got a cool £56 million for Aubameyang, and this seems like the right time to move him on. But they were adamant that they wouldn’t let him go without a decent replacement, but then settled with a loan for a player who’s hardly played much meaningful football this season and has never played in Germany.

If they were serious about getting a short-term replacement, one would presume that they think they have a decent chance at the Europa League (they drew Italy’s Atalanta in the round of 16), and/or they think they need help ensuring a good finish in the Bundesliga (they’re currently 6th, and 2 points back from the Champions League places). I totally fail to see how Batshuayi is supposed to make a big difference on either front; this transaction seems like a move for the future, not the present.

[such-is-my-dance]

I saw this on SB Nation’s Facebook feed today and felt sad:

The Minneapolis Miracle is already an iconic moment in NFL history, and one of the things that made it so special is that such an incredible moment happened for one of the unluckiest and longest-suffering teams in the league. I think that the crushing NFC title loss was a massive letdown for Vikes fans after that, but the fact that the Vikes didn’t get to the SB shouldn’t mean that the Miracle is forgotten.

All that said, is any team as well set up for the immediate future as the Vikings? I think most people would predict offensive regression in 2018, but the core of the defense is young, hungry, and massively talented; H. Smith, E. Griffen, L. Joseph, A. Barr, and X. Rhodes all made the Pro Bowl in ‘17, and only Griffen is over 29 (he’s 30).

They’re losing no valuable defensive players to free agency this year, and the only notable offensive free agents are the three QBs. Barr, Kendricks, and Diggs are free agents after ‘18, but Over the Cap currently has them $53.5 million under the cap going into the offseason, with 49 players signed, so there’s plenty of money to go around (for comparison, as of writing, the Eagles and Steelers, who also finished with 13 wins in 2017, are both over the cap).

It’s hard to be too bullish on a team that currently doesn’t have a QB, of course. I’m not going to try and predict what Minnesota decide to do, but it’s pretty obvious that this team doesn’t need an elite-level QB to be ultra-competitive. Keenum played extremely well this past season, and Bradford started the season well before his injury, and everybody loves Bridgewater, so I’d expect at least one of them to be on the team at the start of the season.

So this may be cold comfort for Vikings fans, but the future of the team sure looks bright to me.

[old-school-wrestling]

[vintage-thwagger-blog]

That’s going to be me, and I’m not ashamed.

[babeimgonnaleaveu]

“The Enchanter’s name is Tim because John Cleese forgot the character’s original name. He ad-libbed the line, “There are some who call me…Tim”.  Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

[weloveshortvideos]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Oh my fucking GOD

[likeamillionsuns]

this is the best thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes.

[jumpingjacktrash]

oh my gosh he’s gently play-biting them like they’re his own babies

[cozymochi]

@since-the-900s

[thespectacularspider-girl]

This lion’s name is Bonedigger and he was born with a crippling bone disease, so the keepers introduced three dachshunds to give him companionship; Abby, Bullet and Milo.

They’re his pride now!

[valkyrie-wrath-deactivated20190]

This is the only fucking thing I care about, do you hear me.

[death-limes]

“omg i love Harry! his British accent is so cute!”

[this-ugly-flower]

THAT RED THING IS CALLED HARRY?

[ghostvoidbby]

oi mate “that red thing” is a member of the royal family

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Snoop has done so much weed he’s on a higher plane of understanding.

[such-is-my-dance]

Mind blown.

[sprmint-bkgsoda]

I need a video or movie ASAP.

[such-is-my-dance]

I love this photo so much.

[jeffgerstmann]

Do you support Dan Ryckert's position that McMahon was in the right regarding the Montreal Screwjob?

Yeah, pretty much. It’s a shady thing to do, but Bret Hart being stubborn and shitty about dropping the belt on his way out strikes me as incredibly petty and unprofessional. There’s blame on both ends over how it was all handled, but, as I understand it, it all stems from Bret Hart being Bret Hart’s biggest fan.

[such-is-my-dance]

I hate this opinion. Yes, I know hating an opinion is petty and futile, but I really do hate seeing quotes like this from people I respect.

Vince McMahon is the person who deserves 98% of the blame for the Montreal Screwjob, with 1% of blame each for Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. Yes, Bret took himself too seriously, especially when it came to Canda, and yes, he could have diffused the situation by doing the professional thing and agreeing to drop the title, but saying that the Screwjob was his own fault is absolutely asinine and is tantamount to victim blaming.

Think of all the things that Vince McMahon could have done differently to prevent the situation from occurring. He could have:

Kept HBK on a shorter leash, containing the out-of-control egos and destructive behaviour that were poisoning his locker room.

Not booked HBK vs Bret in Canada, which was obviously going to be a shitshow.

Not given Bret a creative control clause in his contract, giving Bret the power to say he wouldn’t drop the title.

Taken the title off of Bret much sooner, rather than keeping the title on him until literally the last second. Bear in mind, this isn’t the first time Vince got himself into trouble by keeping titles off talent whose contracts were about the expire - Jeff Jarrett was able to fleece him for $300k by threatening to leave with the Intercontinental title in 1999 when his contract expired.

Used a transitional champion to take the title from Bret and then drop it to Shawn. Bret would have dropped the title to Shawn anywhere but in Canada, and he would have dropped the title in Canada to anyone but Shawn.

This is all ultimately a moot point, because the Screwjob happened, and as much as it sucked, especially for Bret, it led to Vince McMahon becoming an on-screen character, which in turn led to one of the greatest feuds in pro wrestling history, between Mr. McMahon and Steve Austin. The results of the Screwjob almost certainly made Vince more money than keeping Bret Hart ever would have.

But my point is this: whenever there’s an issue like this in pro wrestling, a good rule of thumb is to never blame the talent and always blame the promoter, except in rare circumstances (see: New Jack).

[jeffgerstmann]

[egzpl-deactivated20160802]

Licia Ronzulli, member of the European Parliament, has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the Parliament sessions for two years now.

[ceevee5]

Every time this is on my dash, it’s an automatic reblog.

[selfgoals]

If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[serpentking456]

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

[bransonreese]

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

[severepaperhideout-deactivated2]

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

[bransonreese]

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

[wilwheaton]

FOREVER REBLOG.

[such-is-my-dance]

A pedant walks into a tavern, because of course “bar” means the serving counter rather than the establishment itself.

He drinks alone.

[magicjudge]

How do leaks hurt, exactly? Aside from a business standpoint.

Trick Jarrett explained it better than I could back when the OGW leaks happened. You can read his article here.

But to sum up my feelings, the biggest two ways that I feel leaks hurt the game are as follows:

Leaks can create confusion. Cards that are spoiled without proper explanation of new mechanics, symbols, templating, etc. can lead to confusion and misinformation in the community. Just think back to how the community reacted to seeing the new colorless mana symbol when Ulamog and Wastes were leaked. That was a real mess.

Similarly, a leak that reveals a major story point can create confusion when the card is removed from its story context, leading to players becoming upset, confused, etc.

Leaks hurt Magic content creators, especially the ones that don’t write for the mothership. Imagine how you’d feel if you had spent a week carefully crafting the perfect article or video to introduce the world to a new card. You get it all polished up and ready, and now you just have to wait another two days until your preview day comes… until suddenly the night before you were supposed to post that article/video/whatever, your card gets leaked through some shitty scan by some anonymous asshat. You’d feel pretty let down. All your work has basically been for nothing now.

Sure, what you wrote or made still explains the card, can give ideas for how to build around it, etc., but it has lost its impact. You don’t get those new readers/viewers that you would have gotten from people coming to your site/blog/channel to see the new card. Now you’re just one voice of many trying to be heard in the crowd when your voice was supposed to at least get the first word in.

[magicjudge]

Reblogging this again for the new Hour of Devastation and Ixalan leaks.

[such-is-my-dance]

I mostly disagreed when you first posted this in relation to the Hour of Devastation. I think the confusion thing gets way overblown because Oath of the Gatewatch was such a special case, where they were doing something totally new and changing how they presented a ubiquitous part of the game. The story thing is a dumb excuse because even official spoilers create confusion (everyone assumes they know what happened to Emrakul because of Imprisoned in the Moon, because the card doesn’t convey the actual story). And on the subject of hype and spoiler articles, that was already one aspect of Magic that I’d gotten really fed up with, and yeah it sucks if you had an agreement that got totally blown up because of spoilers, but just because that’s the system you have now, doesn’t mean it’s a good system.

However, that was three cards from a set only about a month from release. The fact that so many cards, themes, and mechanics from Ixalan have been spoiled so long before release, and before HOU is even out, really sucks. How can that set even have a spoiler season now? And how will this affect HOU’s sales, now that a lot of your most invested players are already looking ahead to September? Not to mention the implications for the card market. Heads have to roll for this one.

Maybe it’s hypocritical to be okay with one example of unofficial spoilers but not with another, but that’s just how I feel about the whole thing. 

[wilwheaton]

Have you ever checked out Epic Rap Battles of History? If you haven't then you should, & if you have; what do you think?

I have! It’s why I asked Rhett and Link to come onto Tabletop.

[such-is-my-dance]

ERB is one of those YouTube things that could so easily be terrible and corny, and sometimes the battles aren’t that interesting. But some of ERB’s battles are genuinely great, and as a history buff I love the level of detail they put into the lyrics and the imagery. Some of the songs are really catchy and the lyrics are razor sharp. And of course, they’ve involved lots of awesome people in the YT community, such as Rhett & Link, Superwoman, Hannah Hart and Grace Helbig (who do pretty well despite not being musicians), and more, as well as more mainstream people like Key & Peele, Weird Al, and Snoop Dogg.