This Is Not the Prison I Ordered...

Hey doves, I'm Kay. Well, technically I'm Katie, but let's not get personal. I could drone on and on about how much I adore David Beckham and Canadian bacon and long walks on the beach, but let's get temporary and say that the only reason I'm here is because somehow in the midst of life, I lost my sanity and have now joined the ranks of the tumblrs and tumblrettes. I'm from a flat piece of shit state called Illinois and enjoy expanding my horizons as much as possible, so message me if your life is more interesting than mine because I would love to talk. I use this page primarily to post whatever the hell I want and advertise my almost-successful masterpiece, The Temporary Virginity of the American Player (from Wattpad, written by PrettyOddOne, aka yours truly). I'm a big writer and avidly play the guitar, so if you wanna talk music, believe me, I'll talk music. I don't know too much about the future, but for now let's just say that planning's overrated and life's a beached whale. McDonald's must have sent me to prison, because they definitely got my order wrong. Have a lovely day.

[suckmyfretboard]

5 Reasons Why You Should Thank the Small Town You Hate

It's okay to hate it, but someday you have to appreciate it.

[suckmyfretboard]

I don't usually use social media for this, but I have to. I've been looking at this man's picture too damn long, and I don't want to do it anymore. We can't forget about him. If you don't know who this man is, then I suggest you learn. Andrew Tahmooressi is a soldier, someone who took up arms to protect our country and our country isn't protecting him. He's been in a Mexican jail since March, all because he took a wrong turn, and politicians know exactly where he is and are doing NOTHING. Talk-show hosts have done more than our own president (thank you Montel Williams and Fox News). All it would take is ONE phone call to Mexico and this man would be home and getting the help he needs to recover from his extensive post-traumatic stress. But that phone call hasn't happened, and most likely never will. If you have friends or family in the military, would you ever abandon them? Then don't abandon him.

[french-tea-deactivated20200928]

[thinly-deactivated20200907]

-Sir, we’ve found this and we needed you to name it.

-Pineapple.

-But we figured we might as well just call it “Ananas” since the majority of the world refers to it as-

-Pineapple.

-But sir-

-Pine. Apple.

CRYING I HAVE TO REBLOG IM SORRY OMFG

[ziusik]

PINE. APPLE.

[shiningartifact]

LOL THIS IS THE GREATEST.

[thelionstirs]

If this doesn’t perfectly sum up the English language I don’t know what does

[iarinthel]

Yes it does. It really does.

[anidragon]

French is the same way with computer. In nearly every other language, computer is pronounced more or less the same. The French decides to go “Ordinateur”, because… reasons?

[jumbo-queer]

[the6thjew]

That’s it that’s the whole country

[jimthewebspinner]

I just choked. This is literally us.

[suckmyfretboard]

Love exists in Italy. And I'm reminded every day that I am not in Italy.

[suckmyfretboard]

Take me back to Greece and leave me.

[suckmyfretboard]

Bet Leo was feelin this last night!

[suckmyfretboard]

Some people are a special kind of stupid. 

[suckmyfretboard]

Even Jesus loves the radio.

[suckmyfretboard]

[suckmyfretboard]

WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

I want to go to Greece and stay there.