Unidentified Mucor Sp.

avery. 35, white nb trans man. some angry politics, some identity crises, some digesting organic matter in the dirt beneath your feet. all weird all the time. pfp from Robert Hooke's Micrographia header pic from the archive of Doc. RNDr. Josef Reischig, CSc.

[oh-frederik-what-a-day-its-been]

[headspace-hotel]

Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"

[gryldfyng-deactivated20260510]

[YTP] The King goes to Dairy Queen (actualised)

og post

[sufferingsaprotroph]

"male happiness is repulsive" girl are you okay? who hurt you?

[sufferingsaprotroph]

the nice thing about going from butch dyke to vaguely femme trans man is that most of your former wardrobe still works, so at least i have that going for me

[itsdappleagain]

jesus no

[sufferingsaprotroph]

daily reminder that trump voters are bad people and deserve nothing beyond the absolute bare minimum of civility, have a nice day

[sufferingsaprotroph]

idk guys, i think this would be easier for me if i had had like

any experience of being genuinely accepted in a community in the past 35 years? even as a lesbian i never really "fit in" with the lesbian community (spoiler alert: it was because i'm a guy) and growing up as an autistic person in a conservative catholic culture i learned at a really young age that i had to pretend to be someone else if i wanted to not get abused, so i'm basically not capable of being accepted as my actual self even if i thought it were possible

[sufferingsaprotroph]

I genuinely hate every single therapist who ever told me anything along the lines of "things will get better when you're an adult" or "bullies don't matter in the adult world" or "someday you'll be those mean girls' boss"

the bullies run the world and when their victims cry the rest of the world laughs at them and calls them stupid little babies who can't handle reality

[sufferingsaprotroph]

calls to the trevor project's suicide lifeline went up by 33% and you cunts are all screaming at me for not feeling the "queer joy" right now

[sufferingsaprotroph]

I'm gonna need everyone to shut the fuck up about "queer joy" and "revolutionary optimism" for a few weeks because you all sound like you're in fucking denial

[sufferingsaprotroph]

"who cares if 30% of your country actively wants you to die and the rest don't give a shit? you have to be happy anyway or you're letting the trumpers win! slap a smile on that ugly face, you depressed piece of shit! your grief over your ruined future is letting them win! why do you not find this inspiring? why are you not being radicalized instead of led to despair by me calling you a worthless cunt who deserves everything bad that's coming if they don't pretend to be happy?"

[sufferingsaprotroph]

I'm gonna need everyone to shut the fuck up about "queer joy" and "revolutionary optimism" for a few weeks because you all sound like you're in fucking denial

[sufferingsaprotroph]

trump voters: i don't want trans people to exist, they're the reason the price of eggs is so high me: fuck you, that is the dumbest shit i have ever heard some dumbfuck centrist who values politeness and civility over all else: WHOA WHOA WHOA, that's so intolerant! you can believe you're a human capable of self-determination and they can believe you're a delusional nitwit who should be forced to breed and both of those are TOTALLY valid opinions! we need BOTH of you to build a better society! me: these people are literally unsafe for me to be around dumbfuck centrist: we'll never get out of this with that attitude :)

[sufferingsaprotroph]

normal Americans right now: god i wish i lived in a country where this shit doesn't happen me, a certified weirdo: god i wish i were an underground mass of saprotrophic fungal hyphae so i wouldn't have to care about this shit

[sufferingsaprotroph]

the thing about saying we should be nice to trump voters because "they're just like your sister whose husband just hit her for the first time ever" is that it's really more like your sister, who has always been kind of a dick to you, gets a new partner who's just absolutely horrible to everyone who isn't a cishet white male. and they start bringing him to every family function she attends, and every single time he ends up making some loud speech about how people like you are garbage and the cause of everything that's wrong with society and don't deserve to exist. and she laughs and agrees with him that yes, those disgusting transgender freaks do deserve to be violently forced back into the closet or killed! but then later she assures you that it isn't personal and he doesn't mean you, just all those other bad trans people who are ruining the economy and grooming children into denying the beauty of god's design where men are men and women are sex objects. and then when you try to tell her that these hypothetical "bad" trans people are actually just trying to live their lives and nothing he's telling her is true, she rolls her eyes and calls you a slur and then accuses you of "putting politics over people" when you won't talk to her anymore.

then one day, eight years in the future, mr. "he's really a great person, he just cares a lot about his country!" finally hits her. suddenly his bigotry that was just cute and funny before is a problem, because it's affecting her, and she doesn't deserve it because she's not one of those disgusting trans people. and instead of turning to one of her new conservative friends, or a women's shelter, or one of the family members who hasn't cut her off for gleefully endorsing her boyfriend's bigotry, or literally anybody else... she reaches out and asks YOU for help. because you hated him the entire time, after all, so surely you'll be compassionate and celebrate her finally finding the strength to leave instead of holding her previous behavior against her. she didn't have any choice but to endorse what he was saying! she was brainwashed! she was coerced! all of this is HIS fault! it would be so cruel of you to turn her away when it isn't even her fault that she hurt you in the first place! she's just as much a victim as you are!

now, obviously, there's a moral obligation to help. nobody deserves to experience intimate partner violence. but are you going to jump in the car, drive down to her place as fast as you can, help her pack, and then allow her to stay at your place for as long as she wants? are you going to nod and sympathize as she sobs "i thought he only hated you people! i never thought he would hurt someone who matters, like me!" when he texts her back next week with an apology and a promise to only hurt people who don't count from now on, are you going to say "come back anytime" as she calls you a slur and runs right back to him?

or are you going to send her some phone numbers to resources in her area, maybe venmo her some money if you can spare it, and wish her well because however much she doesn't deserve this, you also don't deserve to be used as a support system and then discarded as soon as she doesn't need you anymore?

actions have consequences. trump voters don't deserve what's coming to all of us, but they asked for this to happen. they either deliberately ignored trump's dehumanization of trans people, immigrants, etc. or actively agreed with it. welcoming them back into your life when they realize what they voted for only teaches them that they can mistreat you as much as they want, and you'll still be there ready to unconditionally forgive and forget when they get bored of that. they can vote based on vibes and prejudice for as long as they live, and you will always be there to clean up the mess they've made.

i'm not saying we should be mean to them. obviously, harassing random trumpers you see in public just going about their business is morally wrong and unhelpful. but i don't think we have an obligation to unconditionally welcome them back into our lives and social spaces at the expense of the people they've harmed, either.