So you went and caught feelings for your SD... 🍒
I think I mentioned in a previous post that I genuinely enjoy my time with my Steady Eddy SD, “Yanny”. And also that I try to keep my feelings in check. This post is going to be half my personal story with Yanny, and half any kind of advice I can think of 💖
- So, I’ve never had trouble locking down an SD. They’ve all been pretty enthusiastic about being in an arrangement with me, even if the vast majority could not afford it haha. I, on the other hand, am rarely ever impressed with these guys.
- Yanny was a bit different from the start. He was very matter-of-fact. He was friendly and respectful, but not incredibly affectionate (or basically just cumming in his pants at the mere scent of my leave in conditioner, like most lmao). It was... kind of an unnerving feeling! I can’t lie! When he said at our first meeting “let’s face it, you won’t ever need to meet my family or anything” it was completely reasonable!! But for some reason it took me aback. Like “I already knew that, but thanks for making it clear?”. And it was so different from the cheesy, annoying guys who are usually telling me whatever they think I want to hear. For some reason I felt like I was going to make sure he realized that I was exactly who he wished he could take to meet his family, but I wasn’t going to be interested. As I type this, I am fully aware of how dumb it is 🙃
- by the second meeting with Yanny, things changed to a bit more familiar territory for me. He was still not swooning over me and saying anything and everything, like most. But he was definitely feeling me more. I told him a bit of my back story (NOTHING WITH ANY SENSITIVE PERSONAL INFO), and he told me a bit of his. And I could tell he was vibing with me in a different way
- fast forward to now. We haven’t been seeing each other a year yet. But we’ve both admitted to having feelings for each other on multiple occasions. Because of his personality, and how he doesn’t show any kind of disingenuous affection, I know he’s being real with me. He’s told me (of his own accord. I didn’t ask) he needs a little more time to think about starting a real relationship with me. This is fine with me. Cause if a real relationship means the allowance business gets weird, I don’t want it. I want my money!
- I reallyyyy like this dude. Okay? Like for real. The longer we’re seeing each other, the more I’m like “whyyyyy are you so great?? Whyyyyy is our sex so amazing???? Whyyyy do you have to be like 20+ years older than me?? And whyyyy does that have to be taboo???”
- just the other day we were laying in bed after great sex. And I asked him a question, and he ended up giving me some awesome life advice. I was soooo 💦💦💦 when we went for round two. We even did round three. WHY DOES THIS MAN GIVING ME LIFE ADVICE TURN ME ON??? What’s wrong with me??? Why am I like this??? I don’t have daddy issues, cause I have a great dad and a great step dad too! So what’s up???? Lmao
- OBVIOUSLY I GOTTA KEEP THESE FEELINGS IN CHECK. Because I really love 💵💵💵💵💵 I’m not trying to ruin what we’ve got by acting crazy in love. And Yanny needs to figure out if getting serious with someone my age is something he can do with family and friends who are a bit judgmental of his preference towards younger women 🤷🏻♀️
- So, one thing that I think really works for anyone, even if you don’t having real feelings. If you can muster up some fake feelings... Or If you have real ones! Basically, don’t talk about it. I don’t want Yanny knowing how much I like him, and I think I’m just beside myself about him. But what I do, is I show it with my body language and physical affection. I stroke his chest and arms all the time. I give him little kisses on the cheek or neck. I make it clear that I want to be close to him, and I want to be touching him and loving on him. Men. Love. That. Even if it’s not coming from a place of real feelings, it just makes them feel great. Plus, I get to keep the ✨ mystery ✨ of my feelings, cause I’m not using words.
- the only time I verbally admit my feelings is when he brings up his own and jokingly accuses me of feeling the same 💖 then I go ahead and say “yeah I like you! So what? You like me more!” And we have a cute laugh
- here and there I throw a bone and say how much I love doing “x” with him, or how nice he looks in a certain shirt, or that I really like something about him 💕 with Yanny, I genuinely mean it. But it’s something you can do, even if you don’t.
- As far as keeping my feelings in check on a day-to-day, the strength of my feelings comes and goes. Sometimes it feels like I think about him all day. And sometimes, I feel like I barely did. That’s kind of just how I naturally am. I not a clingy type. But when the feelings are strong, I remember this: I am in this for the 💵💵💵💵💵💵 no other reason. If Yanny pops up and proposes to me, cool. But I will not spend my day daydreaming about it, or encouraging those kinds of thoughts. I am bigger than just being some little lovestruck kitten. I am a boss. I am working towards goals. I know he wants me, because I am worth being wanted. If he won’t 100% claim me, it is because of his own hangups and that is not something I care about or stress about. My life and the exciting opportunities ahead of me are more than just waiting and wishing and hoping for a guy to scoop me up and marry me. The things I will do in my life will be 100000x more incredible than just getting married.
- it helps that I do have my own business and have huge plans for the future that I am legitimately more excited about than I ever could be about any man haha. But I know myself. And I know I could get trapped and feeling sad or get lost in a fantasy world if I let myself daydream all day about Yanny coming in on a white horse to marry me. It’s not a good look or a good feeling.
- SO. To sum things up. I know, for the most part, we’re usually doing everything we can to fake some emotion for these crusty old men lmao. But if you happen to find yourself with a guy who gives you real butterflies, and also paaaayyyss... look at what I said in the previous bulletin points, and repeat it to yourself. You and the money come first. Don’t jeopardize it. These gifts are something you can use to elevate yourself and your future. Be a boss first. You are incredible by yourself. Your future is exciting because of YOU, not because of any relationship.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading 🍒
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