sugarcashandeverythingnice @sugarnsigars - Tumblr Blog

jxhn-mulaney

nyctaeus

goingtopshelf:

punchbuggydragon:

breelandwalker:

irontargaryen:

*cracks neck* my time has come

Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.

Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.

Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.

Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.

Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS.

You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.

Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)

Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.

Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.

And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.

Basically this

This is someone who paid attention in finance class.

dreamlightasafeather

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

t-pose-to-assert-gayness

Reblog to literally save a life

anotherdayforchaosfay

I’ve done this. I’m alive because of this.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.

This was 14 years ago.

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.

torios

Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.

skelatal-remains-deactivated201

Reblog to save a life

asubmissiveview

Listening to this video brought tears to my eyes, but what an incredible way to let 911 know you need help in a situation like this.

instructor144

BOOST. If my kid sister had known this, she’d be alive today.

savage-gentleman-wolf

Boost!! Stay Safe. Stay Alive

wykyd-jade

Will always reblog this.

lyjerria

always check yourself for unnecessary negativity and bitterness

studyingatsunrise

A loving reminder that although removing toxic people from your life is hard, and scary, and it hurts, it is 100% necessary. In the hours, days, weeks and months that follow their absence, you will remove your dead leaves and blossom into a happier, more pure version of you.

ruvyspast-blog

Morning After Pill for HIV

I think that people forget that condoms protect you from more than just pregnancy.

And there is no morning after pill for HIV.

mahoganyandmemory

ACTUALLY THERE IS.

It’s called post exposure prophylaxis.

http://www.who.int/hiv/topics/prophylaxis/en/

If you’ve had unprotected sex and are afraid of possibly being at risk for HIV, please go to the emergency room and ask about POST EXPOSURE PROPHYLAXIS.

Works for up to 48 - 72 hours after exposure to HIV.

jellyroll22

BOOST!

pinkspritee

I wouldn’t need this but this is actually really cool and I’d like to share it in case anyone might need it.

melaniesole-blog

If you see this on your dash REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG!!!! You could save a life

itspoplock

SAVE A LIFE 🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃

gimmegray

There’s a FDA approved daily medication called Truvada, or the PrEP treatment, that is 92-99% effective in preventing the contraction of HIV.

http://men.prepfacts.org/the-questions/

Private insurance and Medicaid cover it. You can also get it for free in a lot of high risk cities like Atlanta, NY, and San Fransisco.

cousinebony-deactivated20170116

It’s the same cocktail they give to medical professionals who have had contaminated needle sticks/blood splashes from potentially infected blood. Very effective.

thenoirsextherapist-deactivated

BOOST !!!!!

amurderofkittens

Please boost. You may think you’ll never need it, but you never know what might happen in your life

theodoravanyar-deactivated20181

Signal boost!

etherealwildflowers

I just really wanna live in a light, airy apartment in Paris and wear silk robes and lingerie and have lots of expensive jewelry and go to fancy dinner parties in extravagant evening wear and listen to Marie Laforêt and jazz music all the time

headedforharvard

Issa mood

onlytwitterpics

yourbigsisnissi

Destroy the idea that you have to be constantly working or grinding in order to be successful. Embrace the concept that rest, recovery, and reflection are essential parts of the progress towards a successful and ultimately happy life.