Ladies, get your notebooks out because class is back in session today and this is going to be a long one 😈
I’ve been away due to travel and exploring new business ventures, so I apologize for not uploading this sooner. Hopefully, you haven’t been waiting too long for this much needed topic!
I’ve received many questions in the past regarding the topic of “Age & Hypergamy” and I just knew this was an important lesson to cover. There’s a lot involved with this topic including:
- How your age impacts your hypergamous journey - Advantages - Disadvantages - How to maximize your journey in relation to your age - What to focus on I could go on for days! The point is: your age does influence your journey, and today we’re going to talk about it.
THE BASICS
1. No, You Are Not “Too Old” For Hypergamy. I don’t know why y’all are still listening to these fraudulent male coaches. They are LYING. It doesn’t matter if you’re 21, 31, 41, or 51. You can be hypergamous at any age. In fact, you should be hypergamous at every age. There is no reason for you to “stop” being hypergamous because you are older. Does a dog stop being a dog because it’s older??? Do men stop chasing women when they’re old and have erectile dysfunction? NOPE. 🤦
2. Better Late Than Never. I hear this one a lot: “I’m late to the game” or “I didn’t know about hypergamy when I was younger”. LADIES. Please! It doesn’t matter if you just discovered hypergamy 5 minutes ago: Welcome. It doesn’t matter if I’m the first person to introduce you to hypergamy: Welcome. Now is the time to learn and achieve your goals and dreams.
The end result is what matters. Some people don’t learn how to swim until adulthood, but at the end of the day at least they learned. Plenty of women were raised by hypergamous mothers but grow up to be the King of Pick Me’s. Timing doesn’t always lead to the expected results. So, better late than never.
3. It’s Not an Equal Playing Field. Your hypergamous journey will not be the same in your 30s as it was in your 20s. I’m not going to lie to you ladies and pretend like regardless of your age your journey and options will be the same. It will not. You must adjust your game according to your age to maximize your success.
This is an important element to possess in ALL areas of your life. The ability to be flexible and fluid. If you are not adjusting yourself throughout life you will get left behind. The best example I have for this is with makeup. The makeup I did at 14 years old vs now has evolved tremendously. I cringe at the makeup looks I used to wear in high school. But through exposure and practice, I evolved. You will evolve too, but you must be flexible and open to change.
🌻 LADIES 18-24 🌻 My lovely Debutantes! Young, eager, and optimistic. You’re a breath of fresh air to mundane adulthood, and can easily captivate a room with your dreams and aspirations.
Advantages:
🌻 Time. Ladies, if you are in this age range, you’re in luck because you have started your journey very young and have more time to invest in yourself and social climbing. The older you get the busier life will get, so use this extra time now to be selfish.
You have time to refine yourself. You have time to make mistakes and learn from them. Use this extra time wisely.
🌻 You Attract Easily. Society and evolution are on your side; an attractive woman in her 20s should be able to attract a broad scope of men. In our society, youth and beauty are both prized. As long as you look put together, you will find attracting men is easy – however, this doesn’t mean that they are good men or affluent. Also, keep in mind that attracting men doesn’t mean they’ll stick around.
Use this to your advantage by having a good roster of men.
🌻 Optimistic. Those who are younger are generally more optimistic about life because life is just beginning for them. If you possess this natural trait, capitalize on it! This is a very attractive trait to possess at any age. Now, I know that nowadays it’s popular for young ladies to be “edgy” and depression is touted around like a desirable personality trait. Ladies, if you struggle with mental illness get help. Do not show it off on Tiktok like it’s a new purse. Get help.
Being an overall pleasant person to be around with makes you naturally charismatic!
Disadvantages:
🌻 Dating for Love. Movies and society sold us this fairytale about “true love” and “living happily ever after”. Well, I’m your Fairy Godsister and I’m here to tell you that if you are dating solely for love, you are dating for nonsense. Date. With. A. Purpose. Love should never be your primary focus when dating. A man should meet your requirements before you “fall in love”, not the other way around. (Honestly, “falling in love” is a scam that’ll distract you from making responsible decisions. Would you buy a house just based on pictures they show you because you “fell in love with it”? Or would you go look at the house in person first, and make sure it’s not falling apart on the inside?)
🌻 “A Good Time”. So this is the tricky part about being on the younger side of this journey. If you’re hoping to get married early to a wealthy, high value man, you will have to present yourself in a manner that doesn’t get you placed in the “fun” category. Some men see your youth as something for a good time, not a long time (marriage). So it’s easy for them to waste your time.
🌻 Naive. Ok, sis. Let’s be real. You don’t know anything at 18. You’re not as smart as you think you are at 21 either. This age group is the most vulnerable due to inexperience and the risk of being scammed/being taken advantage of. The best you can do is start learning now and get smart, quickly. Always put your wants and needs first. Don’t get played. You don’t owe anyone anything. Don’t think sex will keep a man.
🌻 Financially Insecure. Most of you in this age group are probably living with your parents or living with limited income. Nothing is wrong with this, however, be careful because some men may try to control you financially, especially if you depend on them for your bills and living expenses.
🌻 Pressure/Struggle Love. Chances are you’re surrounded with friends who are:
1. Doing struggle love/pick me’s 2. In relationships that are not hypergamous (50/50 relationships) 3. “Having fun” (hoeing around) This pressure may influence you, so you must be careful who you surround yourself with.
What to Focus On:
🌻 Your education! Your career! Make something of yourself. 🌻 Take care of your body. There is no reason you should be out of shape at this age. Being “thicc” has been misused. 🌻 Stacking cash. Trust me, you’ll thank me in the future. Stop wasting your money at Forever 21, Pink, and Bath & Body Works. Invest in quality items, while saving money
🌻 Building connections. At this age, it’s appropriate to have “mentors”. Use this to your advantage. Reach out to those in the industry you want to work in and request an opportunity to shadow. 🌻 Yourself. Your passions. Your interests. Focus on yourself. 🌻 Discovering your ideal look. You’re growing into your body still, which is the perfect time to experiment and see which looks work for you. 🌻 Addressing your mental health. It is not normal to always be depressed or anxious. Please get your mental health in order sooner rather than later.
🌸 LADIES 25-34 🌸
My darling Mademoiselles. This age group is trouble in all the right ways. Beautiful and dangerous. Wise and vibrant. The ultimate femme fatales.
Advantages
🌸 Marriage Material. This age range is usually the range where most hypergamous women get married. If you don’t believe me, look at socialites (especially those who come from old money) who are married. Most of them tend to marry within this age range.
( Note: Academics plays a large role in this; the wealthy value education. Although a high value man doesn’t care how much money you make, having an educated background is something they do value. Most women don’t finish their education until the age of 22 – and that’s if they stop at a Bachelors. They tend to get married after this period).
🌸 Freedom. If you want to date hypergamously, you must be ready to go out with your roster. That means dates and trips. At this age range, you tend to have a lot of freedom because you usually live alone, and have your own source of income to fall back on.
🌸 Appearance There’s a lot of conflicting opinions on when a woman hits her prime. Dusty men talk nonsense about women “hitting a wall” at 30, which is FALSE. I promise you if you maintain your appearance, you will find that you look better in your 30s than you did in your 20s. And you will have more success because you have mastered seduction techniques in addition to your appearance.
I find that this age range tends to have more power because they can combine their refined appearance with their sensuality to get the best outcome.
Disadvantages
🌸 Family Around this age range, some of you probably have a child. Now, how does being a mother work with hypergamy?
First, I want to be very clear with you all: Having children will not stop you from being hypergamous. I know a lot of male “dating gurus” make it seem like being a single mother is a dealbreaker– it’s not.
However, certain aspects of being a mother may bring disadvantages to your journey including: - Limitations; if you are a single mom that has children under the age of 13, chances are your opportunities to freestyle are limited unless you have a reliable caretaker. You cannot travel freely, or leave your child whenever you please to go out and about. - Baby daddy drama: Some exes may stir up trouble if they discover you’re out dating. And not just dating any kind of men– men that are better than them. - Difficulty receiving: being a single mother is hard. And naturally, you may have developed a tough exterior to protect yourself and your child. You might also struggle with accepting help from others and this may show up in your relationships. -Mothering; ladies! Mother your child(ren), NOT the men on your roster.
🌸 Pressure
This is the age range where it seems like everyone around you is settling down. You’ll see friends and acquaintances getting married, having children, establishing wonderful careers… And you may feel the pressure to “catch up” and do the same and settle.
Ladies, when I first started my journey I made the decision for myself: hypergamy, or nothing. I wasn’t going to settle in ANY area of my life, just because those around me were. You live your life on your own time and do not let this pressure influence you.
🌸 Living Life Aimlessly.
Does this sound like you: You finished high school, and then scurried off to college. Why? No clue, that’s what everyone else is doing and you were told you needed college for a decent job. Then you study something for a career that you hope you’ll enjoy. Some of you don’t even know what career you wanted, but you still go to college and get the degree. Great. Next, you have a job, and you’re out in the real world.
Now what? Maybe you want to travel. Possibly get married. Perhaps one day start a business. Maybe buy a house. Lots of ideas and hopes, but no plans. This is a common pattern that I’ve noticed in women after they finish college and start working. They have zero direction. They just live life day by day like they’re playing a game of Monopoly and hope they land on a good property and don’t end up on the “Go to Jail” space.
What to Focus On:
🌸 Make. A. Plan. Just like you planned to go to college to get a degree and a job, plan the next phase of your life. You don’t have to stick to it 100%, it can change as you progress through life. But you need some sort of path that you desire. Otherwise, you’re just guessing your way through life. 🌸 Maintaining your appearance (weight, skincare, hair care, etc.). There are no excuses, ladies! Don’t let yourself go because you’re busy, or you had children. 🌸 Stability; aim for financial, emotional, and social stability. Surround yourself with like-minded friends. Ensure you are not scrambling each month to pay bills. Focus on security and stability. 🌸 Not getting distracted by “good” d*ck/being roommates with a man. Ain’t no d*ck good enough to accept a mediocre life. 🌸 Being active within your community; this is the easiest way to social climb. And at this age, you have the benefit of connecting with those younger and older than you.
🌹 LADIES 35+ 🌹 Finally, my radiant, delicate, and seductive Mademoiselles. No other group possesses the power you hold. Class, elegance, and a tantalizing aura.
Disclaimer: Now, I’ve mentioned on my blog before that I don’t speak on topics I don’t have knowledge or experience in. For any ladies reading this part, this will just be based on my observations of older women in my life who entered hypergamous relationships later in adulthood. I am not in this age range, so I cannot speak from my own experience.
Advantages:
🌹 Boundaries & Standards: If you are afraid to establish boundaries with a man, you prize him. If you have no standards, you are low value. Chances are, men will walk all over you and try to get away with as much as possible.
Women 35+ tend to not tolerate nonsense and know exactly what they want because they have lived life. When done correctly, establishing boundaries and setting your standards can drive a man crazy about you. Men love the unattainable.
🌹 Network: Your network is one of your best weapons. Being introduced to the right person (“a friend of a friend”). Being invited to the right place/event. All these can change your life in a moment. Around this age range, you should be established in your career, with your friend group/circle, and your community. This is the time to really connect with your circles because I promise you, there will always be opportunities there.
🌹 Understanding. It has become popular for these male “dating coaches” to attack single motherhood. Well, guess what? For every single mother, there’s a father. For every divorced woman, there’s a divorced man. This is the truth men try to erase: men have “baggage” and they are still out in the streets pining after women! They act as if these men don’t exist, and all men are virgin saints as if women reproduce on their own🙄 Ridiculous.
There are many affluent men out there who are divorced. Many have children. And they do not mind if you do. Really. They don’t. A quality man realizes that a woman who is 40 years old is most likely not some virgin nun.
🌹Feminine Beauties. Ok, I’m gonna be straight up: the average 35+ year old woman probably looks more feminine than the average 21 year old woman currently. Don’t come at me, ladies, this is what I have noticed in women older than me. Just look around (at least in the US). The media is brainwashing young girls and confusing hypersexuality with feminine appearance. Dresses from Fashion Nova do not give the impression of class and elegance. A lot of makeup gurus are teaching makeup looks that do not enhance beauty.
Women who are 35+ tend to succeed more at an overall “feminine” appearance because they grew up in a different time that emphasized a more “classical” standard of beauty. They also know what suits their bodies well, and usually are more confident overall.
Disadvantages
🌹 Roster Age. You must be more diligent regarding your roster’s age. Try to keep the men on your roster 10+ years older than you (avoid men close in age as you).
Men automatically invest more and step up when presented with challenges. Age is a challenge. Having an older roster will be very beneficial. Do not shy away from men in their 50s or 60s either.
🌹 Mindset The biggest obstacle for this age group may end up being yourself. Just from the messages I have received from you all, I can see some of you truly believe being over the age of 35/having children/being divorced will hinder you on this journey.
This is all FALSE. There are so many women that I have witnessed throughout my life marry hypergamously in their 40s AND 50s. Do you think 51 years old Lauren Sanchez thought for a moment that she wasn’t good enough for Jeff Bezos? Stop listening to men who tell you men don’t want to be with you. Stop listening to bitter women who tell you you’re too old. Stop listening to your inner thoughts that keep tearing you down. Hypergamy doesn’t stop with your age!
🌹 Comfort Zone. Humans are creatures of habit, and the older we get the more comfortable we will get with our lives (jobs, home, friends, routine). After all, we want security. We find comfort in what we know is safe.
Avoid this tendency. It can be hard to do, especially if you have children and a demanding job, but still try your best. Escaping this will be advantageous for your journey.
🌹 Family. See above section.
What to Focus On: 🌹 Maintaining your appearance and staying healthy/active. 🌹 Getting out of your bubble. Do not stay in your comfort zone. 🌹 Having an active roster. You can’t marry hypergamously without dating hypergamously!
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Almost all of these tips can be applied at any age. Take what resonates with you, and stay focused on your journey. The biggest takeaway I hope you get from this is that regardless of your age, you can and will succeed. ❤️
Follow my IG for more: @mademoisellehypergamy
