fucked up

trans man / schizo+BPD+autism / recovering addict / ok to rb/like stuff from me / dni u like incest or are an endo

[suicidalspaceman]

it feels like my entire life is just schizophrenia

[suicidalspaceman]

i wish i wasnt suicidal literally every day lol

[suicidalspaceman]

good thing im not fronting * leaves front *

[suicidalspaceman]

the fact that im no longer a genius kills me. all i am is a stupid druggie. ive fucked up my brain and memory so much i am literally fucking useless. its literally inevitable that people like me end up dead in ditches from overdoses. the universe itself hates me and will take any oppertunity to turn on me.

[suicidalspaceman]

im so fucking schizophrenic everything makes me so fucking paranoid i just want it to end i just want to live a normal fucking life

[suicidalspaceman]

time to daydream about cutting myself bc i dont have any fucking razors

[suicidalspaceman]

I will literally say this until the day I die but white "tulpamancers" are just racist and ableist -_-

[actuallydissociative]

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user has autism

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user is a recovering addict

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user is on the schizophrenia spectrum 

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user has borderline personality disorder 

[suicidalspaceman]

If you're a "tulpamancer", especially a white one, you're racist and ableist. End of story. You're appropriating something you know NOTHING about. Tulpamancy is of Indian and Tibetan Buddhist origin and isn't about "thoughtforms" or your imaginary friends. Having a fucking system isn't about that shit either. Don't you dare fucking claim to be a tulpamancer or "have tulpas" (🙄 white "tulpamancers" don't even know what this MEANS) unless you're a Buddhist who's done a FUCKTON of meditating. Don't you dare fucking claim to have a system if you didn't face enough childhood trauma that your brain literally fucking splits you into several people. Shut the fuck up about tulpas if you don't know what nirmita means. Shut the fuck up about tulpas if you don't know what the trikaya doctrine is. Stop trying to be special and go smoke a joint.

[suicidalspaceman]

y'all kinnies always making crackhead jokes like real life addicts don't use tumblr ever

[suicidalspaceman]

* starts shaking from the disgusting flashbacks i'm having *

[thevoid-looksback]

I find such solace in venting in the moment, but no one ever gets it. They try to be nice, but ultimately I always regret the vulnerability I gave for no emotional return. 

[ojibwa]