Summer Barney Writes

Hello Friends! This is my secondary blog where I keep all my poetry and writing. Contact me or see how fast I can hit that reblog button over on my main blog, summerb4jc, or see my design and artwork on my tertiary blog summerbarneydesign. Jesus loves you!

[summerb4jc]

I feel sick.

I admit that I’ve been pushing the events of Charlottesville, Va out of my mind because it hurts to think about it.

It hurts my brain and it hurts my heart, because I cannot reconcile the America I love with the America I am witnessing.

I honestly thought we had dealt with most of this stuff already. Like, way back in the 40’s and 60’s. I naively thought that, while there was still racism in the US, we had moved forward; each generation a little better than the last.

But I see young men, not much older than me, waving Nazi flags in the middle of the United States of America and I do not understand it.

I don’t like posting political stuff. I’m just one person, not very politically minded, and what is one voice amongst the cacophony that is political discourse on social media? More than that, though, politics tend to be to be one of the most divisive subjects, and I do not want to be divisive.

There is a rift in our country between the left and the right. It’s always been there, but the past two years of political intrigue, mudslinging, disheartening candidates, lawsuits, and investigations on both sides has rent a chasm so wide we cannot see the whites of the eyes of those who disagree with us.

We, as a society, have started viewing people with opposing political beliefs as caricatures, something less than human. Individuality and humanity are painted over in broader and broader strokes of red or blue until it is you vs. the idiots, the morons, the “insert party appropriate insult here.” A single swath of color. A wall of enemies rather than countrymen.

It’s really, really easy to stay on your side of the divide when it seems like the opposition is comprised of fools and monsters.

Hitler is one of the most evil men in history. He and the Nazi party attempted genocide, nearly wiping out the Jewish population, while also targeting minorities and disabled people in a show of terror so dark and profound that the weight of it is still staggering.

But Hitler also tried to go to art school.

That is the problem with making men into monsters. You forget their humanity.

Hitler is evil, but he also liked painting.

They are not monsters in Charlottesville. They are men, and that is infinitely more frightening.

They have families. They have a favorite food. They laugh and go to work and binge watch their favorite tv show, just like everyone else. They have homes and refrigerators and mortgages. They don’t sit in dark lairs, plotting. They are people like you and me, making a choice.

We can’t forget that they are people, because forgetting is what led us here.

We forgot that we are meant to be the United States, and allowed ourselves to be divided.

We forgot, and our peaceful protests became riots.

We forgot, and where there should be Stars and Stripes, there are Swastikas.

The white supremacists in Charlottesville chose to “forget” the humanity of those who are different from them.

To stand against them, to stand against discrimination, we cannot forget the humanity of each person we encounter.

Monsters cannot be reasoned with, but men can.

I’m a Christian, and I love Jesus. Do I want everyone else to love Jesus as well? Yes, of course, that’s the point of Christianity: showing people Christ’s love and the freedom it brings. My job, and the job of everyone who loves Jesus, is to love people. That’s it. That’s my greatest tool. It doesn’t matter how our beliefs or lifestyles differ. I may disagree with some of your choices. You may disagree with mine. Sure, that might cause tension or uncomfortable conversations, but that doesn’t matter. I was called to love you, and so I do.

I don’t want to alienate those I am meant to love with debate, so I usually refrain from posting anything political.

But I can’t stay silent anymore after the events in Charlottesville. Maybe I should have spoken up sooner.

Even if I’m just one girl, making one post, I have to say something.

I read somewhere that staying silent, especially now, especially when Nazi flags and swastikas are hanging freely in The Actual United States of America, in the year 2017, is the same as support.

So this is me speaking up.

This is me saying no.

I don’t support this.

I love these people, and because of that, I am speaking up. My one little post may not be much, but I’m saying something. To defend them, to protect them, I am speaking up. I will speak up and stand against this sort of racist behavior whenever I see it happening.

To my friends, and to anyone who is being, or has been, discriminated against: I love you and I am sorry. I love you, and I love you, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to scream so loud before anyone would listen. I’m sorry if it seems like they still aren’t listening. Please tell me when you are hurting. Tell me when you are scared. I am here for you.

To those who discriminate, either knowingly or unknowingly:

I see that you are a person, and I see that you need to be loved. I love you. I love you, and I love you, and I’m sorry. Hatred like this is taught, and it is cultivated through pain. I am sorry that someone you looked up to showed you how to look down on others.

Listen: None of us chose the color of our skin.

No one has any say in amount of melanin our body produces, what our heritage is, or where we happen to be born.

It’s what we do with our lot that matters.

We need to straighten up. Do better. Be better.

We need to open our eyes. People surround us, not the monsters we’ve imagined.

We have to choose to remember that.

[summerbarneywrites]

Day Eight No Prompt: Prayer 9/17/15 I put this in my "God Box" just this morning, with all the other yet-to-be-answered prayers. Hanna and I found an ad on a church website our first day of apartment hunting from a girl in North Hollywood looking for a roommate. We've been talking to her over the course of the past week, and submitted our applications to her landlord yesterday. This morning I put this prayer in the God Box, knowing he would work things out if it was his will. We just heard back, and we got the apartment! We will officially be moving out to LA October 19th. Praise Jesus!

Dear Jesus, Please let everything go through with Hanna and my application. We know this will all work out for your goof, so if it is Your will for us to live in this apartment, we know it will work out. Thank you! In Jesus name, Amen 

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!! -Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerbarneywrites]

Day Seven No Prompt: Journaling 9/16/15 Today’s post brought to you by faith, hope, and a smidge of stress! The first few pages of this journal is hard to write on. That’s my excuse for my handwriting. 

Well! Today has been a day. Not a bad day, not even a particularly long day, but a day nonetheless. Hours spent in preparation for application to a new apartment. Applying to the new apartment. A few more hours of waiting til my roomie can apply as well. UUUghhh! *sidenote, this is an excited ugh, not an aggravated one. I am very excited, but my mind is currently having a hard time processing past the iuuuuuuuuuguhhhhhghghghghhg stage* I don’t know whether to feel tired of excited, BUT I MOST CERTAINLY AM FEELING BOTH. The deed is done, the future awaits being set. Ok. Ok. End with a prayer.

Dear Jesus, I ask that you please let everything go smoothly with my apartment. You know where you want us to live, and I know you’ll work everything out. If this is Your will, please let everything go smoothly. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

-Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerbarneywrites]

Day 6 No Prompt: Poetry 9/15/15 I originally wrote this in a different journal, very poorly in blue pen. I rewrote and edited it today.

Critique Thrift Store

I want to write a poem made of all the little bits cut out in critique. The good words the bad words, the words that don’t quite fit stick like chocolate  to my lips, just sweet enough. Not only my words, all the “The’s” and ampersands and blue winged birds that find themselves page-less. I wish I’d remember to bring scissors, snip out the evicted images that everyone agrees don’t belong, and build them a poem of misfit toys. A place for all the words that matter but don’t quite work.

-Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerbarneywrites]

Day Five Prompt: Name one thing you wish your cell phone did for you that it currently does not. 9/14/15

Hmm. Hmmmm. HMMMMM? What would I want my phone to do...I suppose I want my iPhone 6 to do what the video of the iPhone 6 promised. You know, the nifty holographic keyboard and projector that looked SO COOL BUT DIDN’T HAPPEN? I suppose that. Or, maybe some more art/design/video stuff? But it does that already...I just prefer a larger screen. I’m so unimaginitive with my technology. My Green Lantern skills...not on point.

-Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerbarneywrites]

Day Four No Prompt: Poetry 9/13/15

Prayer Poem #1

Dear Jesus,

I pray for the lonely little lighthouses with sputtering, dimming flames. Lord, I pray for the lonely lighthouse keepers looking to snuff out what already seems to be dying.

I pray for the lonely looking to end their lives tonight. Sitting in their bathrooms. Sitting on their beds. Looking for their candle snuffers. Keep them safe.

Give them pause. The sound of two chain switches clicking under a fan, or a phone call. Give them pause and in that pause, give them the strength to step away from their bathrooms and their goodbyes. 

Let them look at their hands and see potential. Run those hands up their forearms and feel beauty. Feel the oh-so-very thereness of their biceps as the tuck their arms criss across their chests and want to stay.

Lord, I pray fill their insides with marigolds and bumblebees so the bumblebees can do their jobs, the flowers can keep growing, and hope like honey will pour out of the lighthouse windows, so when the lighthouse keepers look in their bathroom mirrors they see the gold refined.

Amen

-Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerbarneywrites]

Day Three Prompt: If you wrote a song about your love life, waht would the title be? Write the first verse. 9/12/15

Oh yes. My love life. The. The non existent one. Well, seeing as mostly it consists of waiting, I suppose that’s what the song would be about. Recently, inspired by a friend, I’ve been praying that, when I see the man God has for me, my heart will drop, I’ll get butterflies in my stomach, and I’ll hear God say “this is the one.” I guess I’d call the song “Drop.” It’d have to be a bouncy folk tune. Lots of banjo:

Well, my grandma said it can happen, in a grocery store. You’re walking around in your sweatpants and you drop your tortillas on the floor. Then suddenly, he’s there, tortillas in hand and you’re heart drops. 

(I decided floor was better than ground, rhyme seemed like a better way to go in this situation.)

-Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerbarneywrites]

Day Two Prompt: Name the top ten things on your bucket list. 9/11/15

10.) Actually start to enjoy jogging. 9.) Remember that one thing I said I wanted to put on my bucket list, as I have forgotten what it was, and this is my first time writing a Bucket List. 8.) Write a Bucket List. 7.) See Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. 6.) Finish that painting I started in High School. I’ve been to art school, made other paintings. I should just finish it already. 5.) Answer the question that has plagues me since Childhood: Who is the villain who wears black armor and has red bows on his elbows, and what movie did I see him in? 4.) Go to Europe! Paris, Italy, Ireland, etc. 3.) Make a full length movie (Preferably more than one. Hopefully many)  2.) Fall in love, get married, have children. 1.) A great ellipsis...It’s a heavy decision, naming the thing you’d like most to do in this life.

(Sometimes, I spell words wrong. I’m sorry.)

-Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerbarneywrites]

Day One Prompt: While at the beach you decide to write a message in a bottle. What would it say? Who would you like to find it?  9/7/15   (Whoops, I misread the beach part but WHATEVER, OH WELL. Additionally, I chose October for the fun of it. I know the ninth month is September.)

October 7th, 1886

“My Dear Richard,

Oh my love. Would that I had said all I wished to say to you before now. Now, when it is far, far too late. Look how my writing trembles. I can scarce hold my pen for fear and sorrow.

The ship is taken. First  by Pirates, and now by the sea herself. I am lost, Richard. I hid in the smallest corner of the cargo hold I could find, deep in the shadows, as the pirates boarded my father’s merchant vessel. They did not find me, but that did not save me in the end. The damage sustained in the boarding and subsequent battle riddled the ship with holes. Survivors were taken hostage, the dead left to sink with the ship, my father, and now myself among them.

The Pirate vessel was but a dot on the horizon when I emerged and discovered my fate.

Oh Richard. I should have said yes. I should have run away. Eloped. I should have told you how I loved you.

I pray you find this note. I pray you forgive me. Please remember our love, but find happiness for yourself.

with all my heart, Veronica du Mellier

-Summer Barney ©SummerBarney2015

[summerb4jc]

I’m Starting a New Thing

…and I felt like declaring it with all the boldness of a text post title!

Recently, I got a couple of neat books from Barnes and Noble. One is called 300 Drawing Prompts, the other is 500 Writing Prompts.  Having so many prompts gave me an idea. I want to try and do at least two creative things a day, one art and one writing. Sometimes it will be the prompts, sometimes poetry, some times a larger work  of art in progress. I want to make sure that I don’t let my art languish now that I’m out of college *insert dramatic sigh and hand flail here*

I’ll be posting the writing and art on my respective writing and art blogs, and reblogging them on my main blog. I got this idea a few days ago, but had to clean out my entire computer before it would let me save the images. Apparently, you can’t have an entire web series, a year’s worth of design projects, and bucket upon bucket of photos indefinitely. ANYWAY, you’ll be getting a triple dose of goodness to start!

I’ll be tagging the project #2CreativeThings. I don’t know how long it will last, hopefully FOREVER, because I’d like to make this a habit. Enjoy! 

[summerbarneywrites]

It’s important to remember that the things children hear tend to stick with them. What the people they look up to criticize becomes the things they criticize. My mom always had low self esteem when it came to her weight, as did my grandmother. When we’re all together, it’s a chorus of the same phrases from the mouths of three generations about how we aren’t good enough in the bodies God gave us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked in the mirror and been disappointed. When I’m grown enough to help another little life grow, I pray the only words that come from my lips will be sunshine and self worth. My grandma, my mom, and I are not defective or irreparably damaged by the influences that gave us these negative opinions, but if I can change the course of my addition to the next generation, I’ll keep in mind that it’s important to remember that the things children hear tend to stick with them.

Summer Barney

[summerbarneywrites]

Me: *sees dog on stairs*

Me: *kneels in front of dog and stares deep into its eyes. pets its head*

Me: Do you need me to kiss you? Is that what you are telling me?

Dog: *says nothing because dog*

Me: I will do it! For king and country! FOR GOD AND KING I WILL KISS YOUR HEAD.

Me: *kisses dog's head*

[summerb4jc]

Story time!

When I was a freshman in college, I had this night class on wednesdays. It was three hours long and ended at nine in the evening.  On my way home from class one night, I was stopped at a crosswalk when I noticed there was another girl standing a little ways away from me, wearing a Phantom of the Opera t-shirt.

I was like, dang! I love Phantom! I should tell this girl I love Phantom! But its nighttime. Is it weird to talk to someone you don’t know about Phantom of the Opera, out of nowhere? In the semi dark of the street lamps? Is that acceptable social behavior?

But I kept thinking of this thing my freshman orientation leader had told me: Talk to people. 

You see, freshman in college are almost all in the same boat, the SS On My Own For The First Time I’m Such An Adult Look Ma No Hands (aka the SS OMOFTFTISAALMNH) Almost everyone is shy, a little nervous, and looking for new friends. 

I thought to my self, “Self, you talk to this stranger and tell her how much you also like Phantom of the Opera. The worst thing that can happen is she will look at you like the goober you sometimes fear you are. Go forth, Self, and make friends!”

So I was like “Hey, I like your shirt”

and she was like, “Thanks!”

and I was all “I love Phantom of the Opera!”

and she was all “Me too!

and then I- well, I actually can’t really remember, but I think we may have walked a little ways together, talking a bit about Phantom, and then parted. We didn’t share any contact info or anything, so I never saw her again, or really thought about her, but it was overall a good social experience for me.

Fast forward to Junior year of college. My friend Emily and I were chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool at her house one night. I had been to her house a few times prior to this visit, and had met her roommates. This specific night, her roommate Hanna was with us in the living room.

Hanna had been singing off and on through out the evening, as one does, and I noticed her style was sort of operatic. After a little bit I was like, 

"hey…do you like Phantom of the Opera?”

and she was like “Yes, I love it!”

and I was SO STOKED. I love finding fellow phantom fans. I told her how Phantom of the Opera was one of my top five favorite movies, and somewhat shamefully and yet still rather proudly slipped in the fact that I own four other film versions of Phantom besides the 2004 movie musical.

As she was telling me about how she and her high school friends would always sing “Think of Me” together, and how she would always choose to be Meg during “Angel of Music” something about her struck me as familiar…

“Hey,” I said “this might sound weird…you’re a junior, right?”

“Yeah”

“Ok, so…did someone come up to you freshman year at the crosswalk by Ross Hall and compliment your Phantom of the Opera t-shirt?”

She looked puzzled for a moment, and then said “Oh my gosh…I do think I remember that!”

And we chortled over fate and the smallness of the world that we two Phans would meet again via a mutual friend. Then we got to talking and realized that we both want to be involved in film as a sort of ministry (I want to direct Christian films, she is still deciding what part of filming she would like to be apart of)

and now we are moving to California together when we graduate so we can simultaneously try to break into the film industry.

so, yeah. Phan friends are friends for life.

[summerb4jc]

historypoetrycoquetry​ replied to your post: I’m auditioning to be a Disney Look-A-Like tomorrow and I am VERY…

YAY GOOD LUCK FRIENDI’m sure it’ll go swimmingly~Are you auditioning for any character in particular?

HEY REMEMBER LIKE SIX MILLION YEARS AGO when I posted this and you were kind enough to respond? Well I only just now figured out how to reply to replies on here, and it took quite a bit of research and computer science to do so (which leads me to believe that I am, in fact, still doing this wrong, but it *looks* correct, so that’s what’s important) ANY WAY, I got a different reply to a different post and I was like man oh man do I need to figure out how this aspect of tumblr works and anyway here we are! It’s good this post took me so long to reply to, because I’m in a better frame of mind about the whole situation than I was immediately after the fact. I’m about to hijack this reply into something far more in-depth of a response than the question calls for, so if you are interested in reading about spontaneous road trips, disney auditions, and encouraging fluff about ****FoLlOwInG yOuR dReAmS**** keep on reading.

Keep reading

[summerbarneywrites]

Me: *sees dog on couch*

Me: *sits next to dog*

Me: hello, I am glad you came into the office today. I've been meaning to discuss your work recently. Excellent job, you have been exceeding your cuteness quota. You are our best employee, the "top dog" one might say.

Me: *chortles at my pun*

[summerb4jc]

The “get to know me better” paragraph

Tagged by: artbecoming

Name: Summer Time and date: March 23, 6:01pm Average hours of sleep a night: Oh, I wish it were so many more but 5-7 hrs Last thing I googled: “burgeoning” to check the spelling Nickname: My grandma calls me summie? small children call me sumbum? Birthday: January 3, same day as JRR Tolkien! Gender: Female Sexual orientation: Straight Height: 5′3″ (My dad is 6′2″, my mom is 5′1″, and I only get TWO INCHES from the man) Favorite color: Ultramarine blue, the kind of blue that is dark and bright and brilliant all at once. One place that makes me happy: Disneyland with loved ones. How many blankets do I sleep under: It depends, is the weather ice or fire?Favourite movie: (In no particular order) Phantom of the Opera, Pride and Prejudice (2004), The Dark Knight, Labyrinth, King Kong (2005), Big Fish What I’m wearing right now: Blue tank top, black capri sweats Last book you read: The Princess Bride (listen to me read out loud?) Most used phrase(s):“NEIN”“This one time” “hey, guys?” “You hotsy totsy tart” First word that comes to mind: Goober (that was weird, or maybe it was geriatric, definitely started with a g)  What I last said to a family member: “Love you” Favourite beverage: That sweet, sweet Diet Coke. Favourite food: Steak? French Fries? Pizza? Cheesecake? Chicken Alfredo?Last movie I watched in theaters: THE NEW CINDERELLA OHMIGOSH Dream Vacation: A cruise that somehow takes me to the Caribbean, London, Paris, Scotland, and Ireland. Dream Wedding:OK SO there will be lace table clothes that I get from thrift stores and old books and teacups and paper roses and pastel colors and MOST IMPORTANTLY the man I love, so. Dream Wedding: Marry the love of my life. GOOD THING I HAVE THIS PLANNED WHILE I’M SINGLE, AMIRIGHT? Dream Pet: TEN MILLION PUPPIES. PUPPIES EVERYWHERE. DOGS EVERYWHERE. LOVE EVERYWHERE. Dream Job: Film director (I want to be the Christopher Nolan of Christian films)

Tagging people: reading-for-fun, historypoetrycoquetry, 355alylove, meg-daae, megansmullallys, mooreacorrigan  and anyone else who feels like it? Or if you don’t feel like it, you don’t have to? You do you, boo.

[summerb4jc]

artbecoming​ replied to your post: “The “get to know me better” paragraph Tagged b…”

You’re one inch taller than me?! You look so beautifully tall in your web series what? Is this the what they call movie magic?

I look tall? Well, glory be, I never thought I would hear that from anyone over the age of 7. 

But seriously, that made me laugh. Thank you. Aside from my mother and one of my roommates, the majority of people I interact with on a daily basis are taller than me. It must be the movie magic. Especially when you consider that both my Raoul and my Phantom in TPLOCD are 6′ or taller.

I mean, I had to use my copy of Les Mis, the complete works of Jane Austen, Jane Eyre, and the collected works of Shakespeare to get my camera tall enough for Raoul’s head to be in frame for the Masquerade episode.