soobin lets you slide onto him while he’s soft so you can feel him slowly grow hard inside you.
❛ content 2.8k words, 18+ [ MDNI! ], explicit sexual content, power bottom!male reader, nerd!soobin, getting hard while inside, big dick!soobin, unprotected sex (p in a), cockwarming kinda, riding, creampie, praise, lots of kisses.
"can we put it in soft and feel it grow together?"
the question hangs in the air of soobin's dimly lit room, completely severing the comfortable silence that had settled over them like a well-worn blanket.
soobin's pen freezes mid-annotation over his biology textbook, and for a solid three seconds, or maybe just a little more, his brain — usually so quick, so sharp when it came to memorizing diagrams and reciting historical dates — completely short-circuits.
he hears your words, processes each one individually, but putting them together into a coherent concept feels like trying to solve a calculus problem underwater.
beside him, you're already wiggling with barely contained excitement, your phone abandoned face-down on the mattress. you're watching your boyfriend with those eager eyes, waiting, practically vibrating.
soobin slowly turns his head, and he can feel the heat creeping up his neck, flooding his cheeks. his glasses have slid down his pretty nose slightly, and he pushes them up with one finger, a nervous habit.
"what?!"
but you're already leaning into him, your hand finding his knee through the soft gray fabric of his sweatpants.
"i'm serious! think about it, babe."
your voice is that special kind of excited, the one soobin usually hears when you're explaining a new game you're completely obsessed with or suggesting a takeout place you've been dying to try.
"we've never done it like that. it's always, you know... we're both already hard, and it's kind of rushed and intense. but this..." you squeeze his knee, your thumb tracing a small circle. "this would be different. slower. we could just... be together. and feel everything."
soobin's heart is doing something erratic in his chest.
he's still holding his pen, still surrounded by highlighters and flashcards, and his ridiculously attractive boyfriend is sitting on his bed, talking about his dick like it's the most natural thing in the world. which, okay, it is, they've been together for eight months, they're past the awkward stage. but this is... new.
"you want to..." soobin swallows, his throat suddenly dry. he glances down at his own lap, then back at you, his cheeks impossibly pinker. "you want to sit on it? while it's... you know?"
"soft, yeah."
you nod enthusiastically, scooting closer, and your thigh presses against his.
"i just keep thinking about what it would feel like. the sensation of it... waking up inside me. getting harder because of me, because of us," your voice drops a little, losing some of its excited energy and gaining something warmer, something more intimate. "i think it would feel really good, babe. really close."
and that's the thing.
soobin has never been able to deny you anything when you look at him like that, when your voice goes soft and you say his name like it means something more than just letters strung together. he's completely, utterly gone for you, and you know it. you use that power sometimes, but never cruelly. always like this — to pull him closer, to bring him into a moment with you.
he sets his pen down carefully, marking his place in the textbook with a sticky note; a small, practical gesture that's so distinctly him that it makes your heart clench.
"you really want to?" soobin asks softly, his voice quieter now, a little shy.
"yeah, more than anything right now," you admit, and it's the truth.
the textbook, the phone, the outside world — it's all completely faded away. there is just soobin, in his ridiculously soft-looking oversized white t-shirt and those grey sweatpants that you've told him a hundred times should be illegal, his dark hair falling over his forehead, his glasses framing those warm, curious eyes that are currently fixed entirely on you.
soobin bites his lower lip, a telltale sign that he's thinking, he's considering. then, slowly, he shifts on the bed, putting his textbook on the nightstand. he leans back against the headboard, the wood creaking softly, and his long legs stretch out, then bend slightly, creating a space for you, an invitation.
"okay," he breathes out, the word carrying a mix of nervousness and genuine curiosity. "let's... let's try."
and oh, you don't need to be told twice.
you're moving immediately, crawling over the messy comforter to settle between your boyfriend’s legs. soobin watches you, his hands coming up to softly rest on your hips as you straddle him, your knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his thighs.
you're face to face now, close enough to see the tiny mole under his eye, the way his eyelashes flutter.
"hi," you whisper, a stupid, giddy smile spreading across your face.
a matching smile tugs at soobin's lips, despite his obvious embarrassment.
"hi," he whispers back. his hands are warm through the thin fabric of your pajama pants. "this is so weird."
"good weird or bad weird?"
"just... weird. different."
soobin ducks his head slightly, looking at where your bodies meet, at the tentatively interested bulge in his own pants that's nowhere near full attention.
"are you sure you're gonna be comfortable? what if—"
you cut him off with a kiss; it's soft, just a brush of lips, simply meant to soothe.
"we'll go slow. if it's weird or uncomfortable, we can just stop. okay?"
soobin nods against your mouth. "okay."
you kiss him again, deeper this time, and you feel his huge hands tighten on your hips. you rock forward experimentally, just a small shift of weight, and soobin makes a tiny sound against your lips.
you break the kiss to sit back slightly, your hands finding the hem of his oversized t-shirt. "can i?"
soobin lifts his arms without a word, and you pull the shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere behind you, and your breath catches, like it always does.
you've already seen him naked countless times, but the sight of his pretty bare chest, the smooth expanse of pale skin, the subtle definition of muscle from carrying heavy books and the occasional gym session with his friends — it never gets old. he's beautiful in a way that feels accidental, unassuming.
soobin doesn't seem to fully realize how hot he is, and that, somehow, makes him even hotter.
your fingers find the waistband of his sweatpants, and you look at him for permission. once again, soobin gives a small, shy nod. you tug them down, along with his boxers, just enough. his cock lies soft against his thigh, and you feel a fresh wave of heat pool in your stomach. it's still him, still soobin, still the part of him that makes you feel so incredibly full and complete.
it's just... resting.
you shimmy out of your own pajama pants and boxers quickly, not wanting to break the moment. when you settle back on his lap, it's skin-to-skin, his soft length pressed against the curve of your ass. soobin hisses in a breath, his fingers digging into your hips.
you position yourself carefully, one hand on soobin’s shoulder for balance, the other reaching down to guide him. your eyes meet his.
"ready?"
he looks terrified and thrilled in equal measure.
"ready."
you shift your weight, lowering yourself slowly. the head of soobin’s soft cock presses against your entrance, and for a moment, it just... sits there. it's an odd sensation, really — the familiar pressure, but without the familiar hardness. it feels almost impossibly soft, pliable.
you take a breath and push down gently.
the slide is different; way slower. there is no resistance in the same way, because he's soft, but your body still has to accommodate his size. even soft, Soobin is... well, considerable. you feel yourself stretching around him, taking him in inch by inch, and the sensation is so unique, so new, that a shaky moan escapes your lips.
soobin's eyes are wide.
"oh," he breathes. "oh, wow."
"you okay?" you manage to ask, pausing when you're about halfway seated.
soobin nods frantically, his hands softly stroking up and down your sides.
"y-yeah. it's just... it feels so warm, and so tight. but it's also different. it's like... i can feel everything. i can feel every part of you."
you lower yourself the rest of the way, and then you're fully seated, his soft cock buried completely inside you. you sit there for a moment, just breathing, just feeling; the weight of him, the fullness, the strange, intimate knowledge that he's inside you but not hard inside you.
it's like a secret, a moment stolen from time.
you're both still for a long, breathless moment. soobin's hands are splayed across your lower back, warm and grounding, and you can feel his heartbeat, or maybe it's yours — it's hard to tell anymore when you're this close.
"how does it feel?" you whisper, your forehead resting against his.
"warm," he repeats, his voice soft with wonder. "and... tight. but it's like..." he struggles for words, his brow furrowing adorably. "it's like i can feel you holding me. not like... fucking. just holding."
you smile, pressing a gentle kiss to soobin’s lips.
"yeah. that's what i wanted."
you start to move, but not in any real rhythm.
just small, subtle shifts of your hips. you were rocking, more than anything, simply testing the sensation. with each tiny movement, you feel him, soft and pliant, moving inside you, and it's incredibly intimate in a way you hadn't tully anticipated.
soobin's hands roam your back, your sides, his touch full of reverence. your boyfriend is looking at you like you're something so precious, something he can't quite believe is real. his cheeks are still flushed that pretty pink you love so much, his lips slightly parted.
"you're so beautiful," he murmurs, almost to himself.
you feel a flutter of warmth in your chest that has nothing to do with where you're connected.
"so are you."
you kiss him again, deeper this time. your tongue slides against his, slow and exploratory, and soobin’s hands come up to cup your face, holding you close. the kiss deepens, becomes more urgent, more hungry. you feel his hips twitch beneath you, a small, unconscious thrust.
and then, finally, you feel it — the slightest change; a thickening, a growing weight inside you. you gasp against his mouth at the very new sensation, pulling back just enough to look at him.
soobin’s eyes are hazy, his pupils blown wide.
"soobin," you breathe. "i can feel you."
he looks down, as if he could see through both your bodies to where they're joined.
"it's you," soobin whispers, his voice wrecked. "it's because of you. you feel so good."
another small, unconscious thrust. another surge of growth. soobin’s cock is filling out inside you, pressing against your walls in a way it couldn't when it was soft. the sensation is really overwhelming — the gradual stretch, the increasing fullness… you can feel every ridge, every vein as they become more pronounced.
you can feel soobin getting harder because of you, because of the way your body is wrapped around him, because of the kisses, because of the closeness.
"oh—my god," soobin pathetically whimpers, his head falling back against the headboard. his hands grip your hips tighter, his knuckles white. "oh my god, that feels... that feels so..."
"i know," you groan, and you start to move with more purpose now, rolling your hips in a slow circle. each movement seems to encourage him, to draw more blood, more hardness. "i can feel every second of it. you're getting so hard inside me, babe."
soobin makes a sound that's somewhere between a moan and a whine, high-pitched and desperate.
"d-don't stop. please don't stop."
you don't. you keep moving, keep kissing him, keep whispering praise against his lips.
"feel how good you feel. feel how perfectly you fit."
"i can't—" soobin cuts himself off with another whine, his hips starting to thrust up in small, jerky movements that meet your rolls. "it's too much. it feels too good."
"it's not too much," you assure him, your hand coming up to card through his soft hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "you're doing so well. just feel it. feel me."
soobin is fully hard now, thick and heavy inside you, and the transition from soft to hard has left you both breathless and shaking. you've never experienced anything like it — the gradual, inexorable filling, the knowledge that his arousal is a direct response to you, to this moment. it's really intoxicating.
"i wanna move," soobin begs, his voice cracking. "please, baby, please can i move? i need—i need to—"
you simply nod, unable to form words properly. you lift yourself slightly, and soobin thrusts up, a real thrust this time, deep and sure. you both moan, the sound mingling in the small space between you.
"y-yeah," you gasp. "like that. just like that—"
soobin sets a rhythm, slow at first, still overwhelmed by the newness of it all. his thrusts are deep, deliberate, each one punching a soft sound from your lips, and his hands are everywhere — your hips, your back, your face.
he can't stop touching you, can't stop looking at you.
"you're so perfect," soobin babbles, his words tumbling out between kisses and pretty moans. "so perfect for me. i love you so much. i love being inside you. i love—ah!—i love feeling you."
you capture his mouth with yours, swallowing his words, his every sounds. you simply love him like this — open, vulnerable, completely undone by you. the pretty nerd who annotates his textbooks and makes color-coded study guides, reduced to a whining, desperate mess because of how you feel around him.
you start to meet his thrusts, matching his rhythm, making it deeper and harder. the bed creaks beneath you, the sound joining the wet, obscene noises of your bodies coming together.
"i'm close," soobin warns, his voice tight.
he's gripping you so hard you know there will be bruises tomorrow, and you can't bring yourself to care.
"i'm so close, baby, where do you want—"
"inside," you moans. "stay inside—wanna feel you come inside me."
soobin’s eyes roll back slightly at your words, and his thrusts become erratic, losing their rhythm. he's chasing his release, but he's also watching you, making sure you're with him. your boyfriend’s hand snakes down between your bodies, finding your cock, stroking you in time with his thrusts.
it only takes a few more strokes; you come with a broken cry of his name, your body clenching around him, and that's all it takes to push soobin over the edge. he follows with a desperate, high-pitched moan, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you, hot and deep.
for a long moment, neither of you moves.
you're both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together, sharing the same humid air. soobin's hands are still on you, but they've gone soft, just resting.
right now, you can feel him softening inside you, the reverse of the sensation from before, and it's just as incredible in its own way.
finally, you shift, wincing slightly at the oversensitivity, and soobin's hands immediately try to hold you still.
"wait," he murmurs. "just... wait a second. i'm not ready to not be inside you yet."
you smile, pressing a kiss to his nose.
"okay."
you simply stay like that for a long time, connected, breathing together. soobin’s thumbs trace absent patterns on your skin, and our fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.
the room slowly cools around you, but you're both warm, wrapped up in each other.
"that was..." he trails off, searching for the right word.
"incredible?" you offer.
"yeah," soobin laughs softly, a little puff of air against your lips. "incredible. you always have the best ideas."
"i know," you tease, but you're smiling too.
eventually, you have to move.
the practicalities of cleanup, of bodily functions, of reality intruding on the perfect bubble you've created. but even as you disentangle yourselves, even as soobin disappears into his attached bathroom and returns with a warm, damp washcloth to clean you both with gentle, careful hands, the intimacy doesn't break.
when you finally settle back into bed, both of you having pulled on fresh boxers, soobin immediately pulls you against his chest. he's warm and solid, and you can feel his heartbeat, still slightly elevated, against your cheek.
"so," you mumble against his skin. "worth interrupting your study session?"
soobin laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest.
"my biology textbook can wait. this was..." he pauses, and you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head. "this was the best kind of practical application."
you snort, elbowing him gently. "such a nerd."
the room falls into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes after moments of profound intimacy.
outside, the city continues its endless hum.
inside, in soobin's small, cluttered bedroom, there's just the two of you, wrapped up in each other, sated and sleepy and utterly, completely in love.
pairing: psycho supervillain!sunoo x obsessed sidekick!reader
synopsis: two years of pining after sunoo like a pathetic fool, and for what? you sharpen his knives, handle his dirty work, and pretend your heart doesn't shatter every time he calls you "sweetheart" like it means nothing. you've built your entire world around him. but everyone has a breaking point, and you've finally found yours. shame sunoo doesn't handle loss well.
warnings (MDNI 18+ only!!): smut(mean dom!sunoo x bratty!reader, sexual tension, rough sex, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (f. receiving), possessive behavior, degradation, praise, power imbalance, knife play, blood play, masochistic themes, overstimulation), knives, violence, cursing, obsessive behaviour, manipulation, jealousy, mentions of death, fight scenes
note: this fic definitely did not need to be this long, but i couldn’t stop yapping T T i really wanted to take my time building that toxic tension properly. i hope it came through the way i intended, enjoyyy
word count: 16.9k
taglist | more works!
you watched sunoo carve through heroes like they were nothing more than wet paper, and every single time your heart did this stupid thing where it forgot how to beat properly. he moved through the world with this casual, almost lazy grace that made violence look like choreography, his knives catching the light as they spun between his fingers. you couldn't look away even if you wanted to. which you didn't. you never wanted to look away from him.
the warehouse reeked of rust and old blood, but you barely noticed anymore. you were by his side for two years now—ever since that night he found you trying to rob the same jewelry store he was burning down. he tilted his head at you with those fox-like eyes, lips curving into something that wasn't quite a smile, and said, "cute. you want to try something that actually matters?"
your life belonged to him ever since.
you said yes without thinking. without even hesitating, really, because what else were you going to do? go back to your shitty apartment with the broken heater and the landlord who kept "forgetting" to fix things? go back to stealing just enough to survive, always looking over your shoulder, always one mistake away from getting caught? he was offering you something. purpose, maybe. or at least a reason to wake up in the morning that wasn't just spite and survival instinct.
you didn't expect to fall in love with him.
that part snuck up on you slowly, then all at once. first it was admiration—the way he planned everything three steps ahead, the way he never seemed rattled even when things went wrong. then it was fascination—the contrast between his delicate features and the absolute brutality he was capable of, the way he hummed cheerfully while cleaning blood off his knives. and then somewhere along the way it became this. this aching, desperate, all-consuming thing that lived in your chest and made it hard to breathe when he looked at you for too long.
you memorised his coffee order (iced americano, extra shot, barely any water because he was a psychopath apparently), the way he liked his knives arranged (smallest to largest, always within arm's reach), the exact angle his mouth curved when he was genuinely amused versus when he was pretending. you knew he tapped his fingers against his thigh when he was thinking, that he rolled his shoulders back exactly twice before a fight, that he had a tiny scar behind his left ear that you only saw once when his hair was wet.
it was embarrassing how much you noticed. how much you cared.
and the worst part? he absolutely knew. had to know. because you weren't subtle, not even a little bit. you volunteered for every job he mentioned, stayed up late sharpening his weapons even though your hands cramped, laughed too loud at things that weren't that funny just because he was the one saying them. you were obvious and desperate and so fucking transparent it hurt.
he never said anything about it though. never acknowledged the way you looked at him, never called you out on the fact that you basically reorganised your entire existence around him. he just let you orbit him like some pathetic satellite, close enough to be useful but never close enough to actually touch.
tonight started like any other night. you got back from a job—something small, just roughing up some hero-wannabe who was getting too close to one of sunoo's operations—and you were still riding the adrenaline high. your knuckles were scraped, your shirt had someone else's blood on it, and you felt alive in a way you never did doing anything else. sunoo had that effect. he made even the violent things feel like they mattered, like you were part of something bigger.
you found him in the main area of the warehouse, surrounded by his collection. that's what you called it in your head—his collection. knives of every size and style, some plain and practical, others ornate and clearly expensive. he was meticulous about maintaining them, spending hours with whetstones and oil, handling each blade like it was precious. like it was loved.
you wondered sometimes what it would feel like to be handled like that. with care. with attention. with those elegant fingers tracing over every detail like it mattered.
god, you needed help.
"you're back early," he said without looking up from the blade he was cleaning. the silk cloth in his hand was already stained red—whether from today or yesterday or last week, you couldn't tell. "did he give you trouble?"
"no. he folded pretty quick." you dropped your jacket on the back of a chair, trying not to wince at the bruise forming on your ribs. it was nothing serious. you had worse. "threatened to call in backup though. might want to move up the timeline on the next phase."
"mm. predictable." he set down the knife he was working on, finally glancing up at you. his gaze swept over you quickly, cataloguing injuries with the efficiency of someone who did this a thousand times. "you're hurt."
"it's nothing."
"i didn't ask if it was nothing. i said you're hurt." he stood then, moving toward you with that fluid grace that made your mouth go dry. "sit."
you sat. because you always did what he told you to do, because you were completely gone for him and had zero self-respect apparently.
he pulled out the first aid kit—the actual one, not the piece of shit drugstore version you kept in your bag—and started cleaning the scrapes on your knuckles. his touch was gentle, almost tender, and it made your chest ache in a way that had nothing to do with the bruised ribs. this was the worst part. when he acted like he cared, like you were more than just a useful tool. it made you hope for things you had no business hoping for.
"you need to stop leading with your right," he murmured, wrapping gauze around your knuckles with practiced ease. "you're too obvious. anyone paying attention would see it coming."
"noted." your voice came out rougher than intended. he was so close, close enough that you could smell his cologne, could count his eyelashes if you wanted to. could see the way his lips parted slightly when he concentrated. "i'll work on it."
"you better. i don't need my best enforcer getting sloppy." he finished with your hands and moved on to checking your ribs, fingers pressing carefully against the bruised area. you hissed at the contact and he made this sympathetic sound that absolutely destroyed you. "not broken. you'll be fine in a few days."
"i'm always fine."
"because i take care of you." he looked up then, meeting your eyes, and there was something in his expression you couldn't read. something that made your stomach flip. "someone has to."
you wanted to ask what he meant by that. wanted to ask if he felt even a fraction of what you felt, if he ever thought about you the way you thought about him, if he ever lay awake at night replaying conversations and analysing every word for hidden meaning. but you couldn't. because if he said no, if he confirmed what you already knew—that this was one-sided and pathetic and you were just setting yourself up for heartbreak—you'd shatter into so many pieces you'd never find them all.
so instead you just said, "thanks."
he smiled at that. small and private, like you said something amusing. "you're welcome, sweetheart."
and there it was. that stupid pet name that made your entire nervous system short-circuit every single time. he used it so casually, like it didn't mean anything, like he didn't know it made you want to do something insane like grab him and kiss him until neither of you could breathe.
he packed up the first aid kit and went back to his knives, settling into his chair like nothing happened. like he didn't just touch you with those careful hands and call you sweetheart and make you fall even more impossibly in love with him.
you moved to the other side of the table, pulling out the whetstone and selecting one of his knives to sharpen. it was something to do with your hands, something to focus on that wasn't the way your heart was still racing or the phantom feeling of his fingers against your skin. you fell into the familiar rhythm—the slide of the blade against stone, the steady pressure, the high-pitched ring of metal being honed to a perfect edge.
this was safe. this was manageable. you could handle sitting across from him, sharing space, existing in his orbit as long as you had something to concentrate on. as long as you didn't think too hard about how domestic this felt, how right, like you were two halves of something that fit together perfectly.
you were at it for maybe twenty minutes when you felt his eyes on you. that prickling awareness that came from being watched, the weight of his attention making your hands want to shake even though you kept them steady through sheer force of will.
"you're staring again," he said without looking up, and there was this amused lilt to his voice that made your stomach flip. he knew. he always knew when you were looking, when your thoughts went somewhere they shouldn't, when your breath caught because he moved too close or smiled that specific way that made you want to do something stupid.
"sorry," you mumbled, forcing your eyes away, focusing instead on the knife in your hands. you were sharpening them for the past hour, hands steady even though your pulse wasn't. even though being this close to him made your skin feel too tight, made every nerve ending hyperaware of the space between your bodies.
he laughed. it was soft, almost fond, which was worse somehow. "no you're not."
and he was right. you weren't sorry. you'd never be sorry for looking at him, for memorising the curve of his smile, the way his eyes crinkled when he was genuinely amused versus when he was about to kill someone. you catalogued every detail of him like your life depended on it. maybe it did.
the sound of his footsteps made you tense before you felt his presence behind you, close enough that you could smell his cologne—something expensive and sharp that made your head spin. his hand came down on the table beside yours, fingers splayed, and you could see the old scars across his knuckles, the elegant length of his fingers. he was so close. too close. not close enough.
"we have a job tomorrow," he said, voice low and right by your ear. your hands stilled on the whetstone, breath catching. "the heroes are sending their best. should be fun."
fun. he called it fun. you called it watching him dance through combat like he was untouchable, like nothing in the world could hurt him, while your heart tried to claw its way out of your chest because what if this was the time something went wrong? what if—
"you're thinking too loud," sunoo murmured, and then his fingers were under your chin, tilting your face up to meet his eyes. they were so dark, pupils blown wide in the dim light, and there was something in his expression you couldn't read. something that made your stomach drop and soar at the same time. "i'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. i've told you this."
the pet name made heat crawl up your neck. he used it sometimes, always with this teasing edge that made you want to combust on the spot. you knew he didn't mean it the way you wanted him to mean it. knew he saw you as useful, as entertaining maybe, but not—
his thumb brushed across your bottom lip and your brain short-circuited.
"you know what i like about you?" he asked, conversational, like he wasn't currently making your entire nervous system malfunction. like his touch wasn't burning itself into your skin in a way you'd never recover from. "you're so easy to read. every thought shows on your face."
oh god. if he could read your thoughts then he knew—he knew about the embarrassing dreams, the way you watched him constantly, the fact that you'd burn the entire world down if he asked you to. the fact that you were so stupidly, desperately, pathetically in love with him it physically hurt sometimes.
you tried to pull away but his grip tightened, not painful but firm, keeping you exactly where he wanted you. "i didn't say you could move."
your heart was hammering so hard you were sure he could hear it. "sunoo—"
"shh." his thumb pressed against your lips, silencing you, and his smile was sharp enough to cut. "you're always so obedient. it's almost boring."
that stung. you knew you were boring compared to him, knew you were just—just there, useful for sharpening his knives and handling the boring logistics and worshipping the ground he walked on like some kind of devoted dog. but hearing him say it made something crack in your chest.
you bit down on his thumb. not hard enough to break skin but enough to surprise him, to show some kind of spine even though your hands were shaking. his eyes widened fractionally before something dangerous slid across his features, something that made every survival instinct scream at you to run.
you didn't run. you never ran from him.
"there she is," he breathed, and he sounded almost delighted. his hand moved from your chin to your throat, not squeezing, just resting there, and you could feel your pulse jumping against his palm. "i was wondering when you'd stop being so scared of me."
"i'm not scared of you," you managed, voice rough. it was true. you weren't scared of him. you were scared of how much you wanted him, how you'd let him ruin you completely and thank him for it, how there wasn't a version of your future that didn't have him in it.
"liar," he said, but he was smiling now, really smiling, and it made him look younger. softer. like maybe underneath the villain there was still some part of the boy he must have been before. "you're terrified. but not of me hurting you."
his fingers flexed against your throat and you stopped breathing.
"you're scared i don't want you back."
the world tilted. your ears were ringing. had he just—did he mean—
"i—" you couldn't form words. your brain had completely shut down, every thought scattering like startled birds. "what?"
sunoo leaned in closer, so close his breath ghosted across your lips, and his eyes were so dark, so intense it felt like falling. "you think i don't notice? the way you watch me, the way your breathing changes when i get close, the way you'd do anything i asked without question?"
his voice dropped lower, almost a purr. "you think i don't know you're completely obsessed with me?"
you wanted to deny it. wanted to salvage some scrap of dignity. but what was the point? he was right. he was always right about you.
"and what if i am?" you whispered, because fuck it. fuck pride, fuck self-preservation. you were already his in every way that mattered.
his smile turned wicked. "then you should know something." his thumb traced your jawline, gentle in a way that made your chest ache. "tomorrow, during the fight. one of them is going to get lucky. you're going to see something that might scare you."
your blood went cold. "what do you mean?"
"you'll see." he pulled back slightly, expression unreadable. "just remember—i told you i'm not going anywhere."
"sunoo, if you're in danger—"
"i'm not the one in danger, sweetheart. i never am." there was something strange in his voice now, something almost vulnerable. "the heroes are. they just don't know it yet."
he pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled away completely, leaving you frozen at the table, heart in pieces, mind racing.
tomorrow. something was going to happen tomorrow. something that would scare you. but you'd be there anyway, because where else would you be except at his side, watching him tear through heroes like they were nothing, bleeding devotion from every pore?
you were so fucked.
the abandoned district was perfect for what sunoo had planned. empty warehouses stretched out in every direction, windows shattered and walls tagged with graffiti, the typical place heroes loved to use for their dramatic confrontations. you perched on a rusted fire escape three stories up, exactly where sunoo told you to wait, and tried to keep your breathing steady.
you hated this part. the waiting. the watching. being stuck on the sidelines when you were perfectly capable of fighting alongside him.
it was always like this. sunoo never let you join the actual fights, not the important ones anyway. he'd let you handle the small stuff—roughing up informants, dealing with low-level heroes, the grunt work that kept his operations running. and you were good at it. you'd proven yourself over and over, taken down targets efficiently and without complications. but the moment things got serious, the moment real danger showed up, he stuck you somewhere safe and told you to watch.
it drove you insane. made you feel useless, like some helpless thing that needed protecting instead of the competent fighter you'd worked so hard to become. you'd asked him about it once and he'd just given you this soft and unreadable look and said, "humour me."
so here you were again, benched, watching him stand in the centre of the street below with his hands in his pockets, looking like he was waiting for a bus instead of an ambush.
"relax," sunoo called up to you, and you could hear the smile in his voice even from this distance. "you're so tense i can feel it from here."
"maybe because there's supposed to be five of them," you shot back, fingers gripping the railing hard enough to hurt. "and you won't let me help."
"you are helping. you're watching." he pulled out one of his knives—the small one, the one he used for warmups—and examined it in the dim streetlight. "making sure no one tries to run. very important job."
"sunoo—"
"we've talked about this, sweetheart." his voice was still light but there was an edge to it now, that tone that meant the discussion was over. "you stay up there where it's safe. this is non-negotiable."
you wanted to argue. wanted to climb down there and prove you could handle yourself, that you didn't need to be protected like some fragile thing. but you knew that tone. knew it meant he'd already made up his mind and nothing you said would change it.
it didn't make sense anyway. sunoo was invincible—literally, actually invincible. you'd watched heroes land hits that should have shattered bone and he just shrugged them off like they were nothing. watched him take knife wounds and gunshots and falls that would kill anyone else, and he'd just stand back up without a scratch. he'd never even bled in front of you, not once in two years. his superpower made him untouchable in a way that should have meant he worried about himself, not you.
but he did worry. kept you away from danger with an almost obsessive focus, like the thought of you getting hurt was worse than anything the heroes could do to him.
you were about to tell him exactly how annoying that was when you felt it—the shift in the air that meant they were here. heroes. you'd gotten good at sensing them over the past two years, the way they moved with that self-righteous confidence, like the world owed them something for existing.
they came from three directions at once. the one in front was taehyun, some rising star with enhanced strength who'd been making headlines for taking down minor villains. flanking him were two others you didn't recognise—a girl with electricity crackling between her fingers and a guy who looked like he could bench press a car. the last two dropped down from the rooftops behind sunoo, cutting off his escape routes.
classic hero formation. surround and overwhelm.
sunoo just laughed.
"taehyun, right?" he said, spinning the knife between his fingers in that casual way that made your stomach flip even now, even in the middle of this. "i've heard about you. something about justice and protecting the innocent?" he tilted his head, fox-like eyes glinting with amusement. "boring."
"kim sunoo," taehyun said, and his voice had that hero quality—all noble and dramatic. "you're under arrest for—"
"yeah, yeah, crimes against humanity, murder, blah blah." sunoo waved his free hand dismissively. "can we skip the speech? i have plans later."
the electricity girl didn't wait for permission. she lunged forward, hands crackling with power, and you stopped breathing because she was fast, faster than you expected, and her fingers were reaching for sunoo's throat and—
he moved.
it wasn't even a dodge, really. more like he just wasn't there anymore, sliding to the side with that liquid grace that made violence look like dancing. his knife flashed once, twice, and suddenly electricity girl was stumbling back with shallow cuts across her arms, blood blooming bright against her costume.
"first blood," sunoo said cheerfully. "anyone else want to try?"
they all moved at once.
you'd seen sunoo fight before. watched him take down heroes and villains and anyone stupid enough to get in his way. but it never stopped being mesmerising, the way he moved through combat like he was performing, like every strike was choreographed for maximum effect. his knives caught the streetlight as they spun, as he ducked under the strongman's punch and came up slashing, as he used taehyun's own momentum against him to send him crashing into a wall.
he was playing with them. you could tell by the smile on his face, the way he hummed under his breath between strikes. this wasn't a fight to him, more likev entertainment.
one of the heroes from the rooftop—a speedster with silver hair who moved almost too fast to track—managed to get behind sunoo and land a solid kick to his spine. you heard the impact from three stories up, heard the way it should have done damage, but sunoo just turned around slowly, rolling his shoulders back twice—that pre-fight tell you'd memorised—and smiled. "nice hit."
not a scratch, not even a bruise forming all thanks to his invincibility. it was like the hit never happened.
the speedster went for another strike and sunoo met him halfway, knife finding the gap in his defences like he'd known exactly where it would be. like he'd planned for it. blood sprayed and the speedster went down hard, clutching his leg.
taehyun roared something about protecting his team and charged again, enhanced strength making the ground crack under his feet. his fist connected with sunoo's jaw in a hit that should have broken bones, should have knocked him unconscious, should have mattered.
sunoo's head snapped to the side from the impact.
and then he straightened up and grinned, completely unharmed, looking absolutely delighted.
"my turn," he said.
what happened next was terrifying in how easy he made it look. sunoo moved through them like they were nothing, knives finding soft spots and weak points with surgical precision. the strongman went down with a knife in his shoulder. electricity girl tried to taser him and he let the electricity hit him full force, let it crawl across his skin in a way that should have stopped his heart, and just caught her wrist mid-attack, twisted, sent her crashing into the speedster who was trying to get back up.
taehyun lasted the longest, his enhanced strength letting him trade blows with sunoo in a way that would have been impressive if it made any difference. but even he couldn't do anything that stuck. every hit that connected—and there were several, hard enough that you felt them in your own bones—sunoo just absorbed like they were gentle taps.
you watched taehyun land a hit to sunoo's ribs that cracked the concrete behind him. watched him get thrown into a wall hard enough to leave an impact crater. watched electricity crawl across his entire body in a sustained attack that made the streetlights flicker.
and sunoo just kept going.
he fought the way he did everything else—with casual, terrifying ease, like the concept of being hurt didn't apply to him.
because it didn't. nothing could hurt him. that was his power, his gift, the thing that made him untouchable and terrifying and invincible.
"impossible," taehyun gasped, on his knees now, one arm hanging useless. "nothing works. nothing even slows you down."
"mm. perceptive." sunoo crouched in front of him, knife spinning lazily between his fingers. "you know what your problem is? you keep trying to hurt me. but you can't." he leaned in closer, voice dropping to something almost intimate. "no one can. i'm invincible, hero. completely and utterly untouchable."
"everyone has a weakness," electricity girl spat from where she was slumped against the wall. "everyone can be hurt by something."
sunoo's expression shifted. something flickered across his face—dangerous and possessive and real in a way that made your breath catch. "mm. true."
he stood, brushing imaginary dust off his jacket. there wasn't a mark on him. not a scratch, not a bruise, nothing to indicate he'd just fought five enhanced heroes. "but my weakness isn't here. and even if it was, you'd never reach it."
he stepped over taehyun's prone form and walked away, hands in his pockets, humming that same melody from earlier. like he'd just finished a light workout instead of taking down five enhanced heroes.
you were down the fire escape before you consciously decided to move, feet hitting the ground and carrying you toward him. he caught you easily when you crashed into his chest, arms coming around you, and you hated how good it felt. how safe.
"told you," he murmured into your hair. "nothing to worry about."
you pulled back just enough to look at him, hands fisting in his jacket. "you let him hit you in the ribs. you let the electricity girl taser you for like ten straight seconds."
"had to make it interesting." his fingers came up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your cheekbone. "can't just dodge everything. that would be boring."
"you're insane."
"and you're beautiful when you're worried about me." his smile was softer now, private, meant just for you. "even though you know nothing can hurt me. isn't that interesting?"
you didn't know what to say to that. didn't know how to explain that knowing he was invincible and watching him take hits were two different things. that your heart still stopped every time even though your brain knew he was fine.
"come on," he said, taking your hand. "let's go home."
the walk back to the warehouse was quiet. sunoo kept his fingers laced with yours, thumb stroking absent patterns against your skin, and you tried not to think about how natural it felt. how right.
"you know why i don't let you fight with me," he said eventually, and it wasn't a question.
"because you're overprotective and slightly unhinged?"
he laughed, soft and genuine. "well, yes. but also because you can get hurt. you don't have invincibility. you're human and fragile and one lucky hit could—" his fingers tightened around yours. "i can't risk that."
"i can handle myself."
"i know you can." he pulled you closer as you walked, until your shoulders brushed. "i've seen you fight. you're good. really good. but good doesn't matter when you're going up against enhanced heroes who could kill you by accident. and i—" he stopped walking, turned to face you fully. "i can't watch you get hurt. i won't."
there was something raw in his voice. something that made your chest ache.
"nothing can hurt me," he continued, quieter now. "i've tested it. knives, bullets, fire, electricity, falls from buildings, poison, everything. i'm completely invincible. but that doesn't mean i don't understand pain." his hand came up to cup your face, thumb tracing your bottom lip. "i just experience it differently now. through you."
your breath caught. "sunoo—"
"so humuor me," he murmured. "stay safe. stay where i put you. let me keep you away from things that could hurt you. because that's the only thing that actually scares me anymore."
you didn't know what to say. didn't know how to process the fact that he'd just admitted you were his weakness, his only weakness, the one thing that could touch him in a world where nothing else could.
"okay," you whispered, and his smile was devastating.
"good girl."
***
the warehouse was exactly as you'd left it—knives still spread across the table, first aid kit still out from earlier even though you both knew he'd never need it. sunoo headed straight for his chair and started pulling out his weapons, laying them on the silk cloth with careful precision. they were all dirty. blood and god knows what else staining the metal.
you grabbed the cleaning supplies without being asked and settled into the chair across from him, reaching for the first knife. it was automatic now, this routine. he fought, you cleaned. he destroyed, you maintained. two halves of something that worked.
"not that one," sunoo said, plucking the blade from your fingers. "start with the small ones. work your way up."
you rolled your eyes but switched knives, selecting one of his favorites—a thin stiletto with a pearl handle. your hands were steadier than they should be as you wiped away the blood, as you checked the edge for damage. muscle memory from hundreds of nights just like this one.
except tonight was different. tonight felt charged somehow, the air between you thick with something unspoken. maybe it was what he'd said during the walk back. maybe it was the way he kept looking at you, dark eyes tracking every movement.
maybe it was the fact that you were aware now. aware of every breath, every small shift. the way his knee was almost touching yours under the table. the way his fingers moved over his knives with the same careful attention he'd touched you with earlier.
"you're holding it wrong," he said after a few minutes, and then he was standing, moving around the table, and your mouth went dry because he was right there, pressed against your back, his hand covering yours on the knife.
"i'm holding it the same way i always do," you managed, but your voice came out breathless and you wanted to die.
"mm. and you've always done it wrong." his fingers adjusted your grip, tilting the blade at a different angle. his hand was cold against your wrist, long fingers wrapping around easily, and you could feel his breath against your neck. "like this. see the difference?"
you didn't see anything. couldn't see anything past the fact that he was touching you, that his chest was pressed against your shoulders, that if you tilted your head back even slightly it would rest against his collarbone.
"better," he murmured, and his thumb stroked once across your pulse point before he let go and stepped back.
you forced yourself to focus on the knife, on cleaning the blood from the blade with hands that shook slightly. he settled back into his chair and picked up another weapon, and you tried not to notice the way he watched you. the weight of his attention making your skin feel too tight.
the silence stretched between you like a living thing.
"you're being quiet," he said eventually.
"just thinking."
"about?"
about how you just told five heroes i'm your weakness. about how you keep me away from danger like i'm something precious. about how you said you experience pain through me now. about how i want to touch you so badly it physically hurts. about how i'd let you ruin me and thank you for it.
"stuff," you said instead.
he laughed, soft and low, and it slid down your spine like honey. "liar."
you looked up and found him already watching you, and there was something in his expression that made your breath catch. something hungry and knowing. like he could see straight through you to all the desperate, pathetic thoughts you were trying so hard to hide.
"i'm going to kiss you," he said, casual as discussing the weather. "eventually. when you're ready."
your brain short-circuited. the knife clattered against the table and you barely noticed. "what?"
"you heard me." he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, looking absolutely delighted by your reaction. "but not yet. you're not ready yet."
"i'm not—" you couldn't even finish the sentence. couldn't form coherent thoughts past the sudden, overwhelming certainty that you were extremely ready. had been ready for approximately two years.
"you think you are," he said, reading your mind again somehow. "but i want you to understand what it means first."
"understand what?"
"that if i kiss you, i'm keeping you." his eyes were so dark, pinning you in place. "that you're mine. that i don't share and i don't let go." he tilted his head, studying you. "that the only person in the world who matters to me is the same person i'd burn the world down for."
the air felt too thick. you couldn't breathe. couldn't think past the absolute certainty in his voice, the way he said it like it was fact, like there was no other possible outcome.
"so take your time," he continued, picking up another knife. "figure out if that's what you want. because once we start this, sweetheart, there's no going back."
you stared at him. at this beautiful, terrifying, impossible man who'd just offered you everything you'd ever wanted and told you to think about it. like you hadn't already decided. like you weren't already his in every way that mattered.
but you didn't say that. instead you picked up your knife and went back to cleaning, hands somehow steady despite the way your heart was trying to punch through your ribs.
you could feel him smiling without looking up.
the rest of the night passed in that same charged silence, every small movement loaded with meaning. his fingers brushing yours when he handed you a new blade. the way his knee pressed against yours under the table. the absolute suffocating awareness of his presence, his attention, his want.
by the time you finished cleaning the last knife, you were wound so tight you thought you might shatter. sunoo stood and stretched, shirt riding up just enough to show a sliver of skin, and you looked away before you did something stupid like stare.
"go home," he said softly. "get some sleep. we'll talk more tomorrow."
you wanted to argue. wanted to stay. wanted to grab him and kiss him and tell him you didn't need time to think, that you'd already chosen him the moment he offered you something that mattered.
but you just nodded and gathered your things, because he was right. you needed to think. needed to process what he'd said, what it all meant.
the next morning, sunoo acted like nothing happened.
you showed up at the warehouse around noon, earlier than usual because you'd barely slept, mind racing with everything he'd said the night before, everything he'd implied with those careful touches and devastating words.
you found him at the table organising his knife collection like it was just another day, and he looked up when you walked in with that same casual smile he always wore, the one that gave nothing away. "coffee's on the counter. still hot."
he didn’t mention the fight, or the charged silence while cleaning knives, to the way he'd touched you like you were precious, to the fact that he'd basically told you he was in love with you and then sent you home to think about it. he was just normal. perfectly, maddeningly normal, like the night before had never happened at all.
"thanks," you said slowly, watching his face for any sign of something, anything that would indicate he remembered what he'd said, but his expression was perfectly neutral. friendly in that distant way that made your chest ache with something sharp and painful.
he went back to his knives without another word and you grabbed the coffee, made exactly how you liked it because of course he knew, because he paid attention to every single detail about you even when he pretended not to care.
you settled into your usual chair and the silence felt different now, heavier somehow, weighted with all the things he'd said and apparently didn't mean. you kept waiting for him to say something, to reference what had happened, to look at you the way he had last night like you were the only thing in the world that mattered. but he didn't. he just hummed under his breath while he polished his blades and acted like you were exactly what you'd always been. his sidekick. his weapon cleaner. his nothing.
it made you want to scream.
"we have a job tonight," he said eventually, still not looking at you, still focused on the knife in his hands like it was more interesting than you could ever be. "information gathering. should be simple."
"okay."
"you'll handle the south entrance. i'll take north. in and out, no engagement."
"sure."
he finally glanced up and for just a second, barely a heartbeat, you thought you saw something flicker in his expression. something soft and vulnerable that made hope bloom stupidly in your chest. but then it was gone and he was back to business, back to treating you like an employee instead of someone he'd held close and whispered promises to.
"good. be ready by eight."
you wanted to ask what the fuck last night was about. wanted to demand he explain why he could say things like i've been yours since the moment i found you and then act like you were just another person on his payroll. wanted to grab him by the shoulders and make him look at you properly, make him acknowledge what had happened between you. but you didn't. because maybe you'd imagined it all. maybe you'd read too much into his words, into the tension that had felt so real, into everything. maybe this was just how he was and you were pathetic for thinking it meant something more.
so you just nodded and drank your coffee and pretended your heart wasn't cracking into smaller and smaller pieces with every second of his indifference.
it became a pattern after that, this torture of back and forth that made you feel like you were losing your mind. sunoo would have these moments, these brief and devastating instances where he'd touch you like you were precious, where he'd say things that made your entire world tilt sideways, where he'd look at you like you were the answer to every question he'd never asked. and then the next day he'd be distant and professional again. like the intimacy had never happened at all, like you'd dreamt the whole thing.
three days after the knife-cleaning incident, you were inventorying supplies in the back room, trying to focus on the mundane task and not think about him, when you felt eyes on you. you knew without looking that it was sunoo, could feel the weight of his attention like a physical touch, and you let him watch for a full minute before you finally turned around.
"can i help you?" you asked, trying to sound normal and failing miserably.
he pushed off the doorframe where he'd been leaning and walked toward you, slow and deliberate, each step measured like he was stalking prey. you backed up instinctively until you hit the shelves and then he was right there, close enough that you could smell his cologne and feel the heat radiating off his body.
"you've been quiet lately."
"i'm always quiet," you managed, even though your heart was trying to punch through your ribs.
"no. you're always thinking. there's a difference." his hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and his fingers lingered against your neck, thumb pressing gently against your pulse point like he was counting your heartbeats. "what's going on in that head of yours?"
you. always you. the way you touch me like this and then don't talk to me for days. the way i can't tell if i'm losing my mind or if you actually feel something for me. the way you're driving me insane with this hot and cold routine and i don't know how much more i can take.
"nothing important," you said instead, because you were a coward who couldn't handle the possibility of rejection.
his eyes searched yours for a long moment, dark and intense and unreadable in a way that made you want to scream with frustration. then he leaned in close enough that his lips brushed against your ear and his breath was hot on your skin. "liar."
and then he walked away like he hadn't just touched you in a way that made your knees weak, like he hadn't just proven once again that he knew exactly what he was doing to you.
the next two days he communicated exclusively through text messages about jobs, brief and professional, like you were just another contact in his phone instead of someone he'd had pressed against a shelf with his hand on your throat.
a week later you made the mistake of wearing a new shirt, nothing special really, just something that actually fit properly instead of the oversized hoodies you usually hid in. sunoo took one look at you when you walked into the warehouse and went completely still, his entire body tensing in a way that made your breath catch.
"what?" you asked, suddenly self-conscious under the weight of his stare, resisting the urge to cross your arms over your chest.
"nothing." but his eyes were tracking over you slowly, taking in every detail in a way that made heat crawl up your neck and spread across your cheeks. "you look nice."
"it's just a shirt," you said, aiming for dismissive and landing somewhere closer to flustered.
"mm." he crossed the room and then his hand was settling on your waist like it belonged there. just resting there with his thumb stroking against your hip bone through the fabric in a way that made it impossible to think. "suits you."
your breath caught in your throat and his hand was so warm, his touch burning through the thin material of the shirt, and he was close, so close that you could see the exact shade of his eyes and count his eyelashes and smell the mint from whatever he'd been drinking. your brain went completely offline, every thought scattering like startled birds, and all you could focus on was the point of contact where his hand met your body.
"wear it more often," he murmured, voice low and intimate, and then he let go and walked away like he hadn't just set your entire body on fire with a single touch.
that night he sent you on a solo job and didn't speak to you until you returned hours later, and by then he was back to being distant and professional like the moment in the warehouse had never happened.
it was torture, actual psychological torture, this constant back and forth that left you reeling. you didn't know which version was real anymore, the sunoo who touched you like you were precious and looked at you like you hung the stars, or the sunoo who acted like you were just another piece on his chessboard, useful but ultimately replaceable.
you were starting to think maybe they were both real, that maybe he did care about you but didn't know how to show it consistently, or maybe his feelings were just as fucked up and complicated as yours and he was struggling with them the same way you were.
or maybe, and this was the thought that kept you up at night staring at your ceiling, maybe he just liked having power over you. liked knowing you were obsessed with him, liked watching you orbit around him desperately waiting for scraps of affection, liked the control he had over your emotions.
you didn't know which option was worse.
it was three weeks of this torture when everything fell apart.
you were supposed to be gathering intel on a hero safehouse, simple reconnaissance that should have been easy. in and out, no engagement as always (sunoo had been very clear about that part). but when you got to the location you found him already in the middle of a fight with three heroes instead of the one target you'd been expecting.
one of them was heeseung, some hotshot hero with energy manipulation who'd been climbing the ranks fast and making a name for himself taking down villains. he was good, really good, moving with a precision that spoke of serious training, and he'd brought backup that was equally competent.
sunoo was handling them fine because of course he was, nothing could hurt him after all, but they were coordinated enough to be annoying. they were keeping him busy, working together to contain him, and you could see what they were doing even from your hidden vantage point. they were stalling, buying time, waiting for more backup to arrive and overwhelm him with numbers.
you should have stayed hidden like sunoo had told you to, should have trusted that he had everything under control, that he could handle three heroes without breaking a sweat. but then you saw heeseung pull out some kind of device, something that glowed with concentrated energy that looked dangerous even from a distance, and he was pointing it at sunoo's back while sunoo was occupied with the other two heroes.
your body moved before your brain could fully process what you were doing, before you could think about consequences or strategy or the fact that sunoo specifically told you to stay out of it.
you dropped from your hiding spot and tackled heeseung, momentum and surprise on your side, sending the device skittering across the pavement. his eyes widened in surprise before narrowing with recognition as he recovered quickly.
"the sidekick," he said, already shifting into a fighting stance. "sunoo's little pet."
"fuck you," you snarled, already moving because you'd committed now and there was no backing out, no retreat.
heeseung was faster than you'd expected, stronger too, his energy manipulation letting him create shields and weapons simultaneously in ways that made him incredibly difficult to pin down. but you were good too, sunoo had been right about that even if he never let you prove it in any way that mattered. you'd trained for this, spent hours preparing for exactly this kind of fight, and you held your own against him.
at least until one of the other heroes broke away from sunoo and joined heeseung against you. then you were outnumbered and outmatched, fighting two enhanced heroes at once, and you felt the exact moment things shifted from manageable to genuinely dangerous. you heard the crackle of energy building, felt the heat of heeseung's power gathering in the air around you, and you knew with sudden terrible certainty that you were about to take a hit you might not recover from.
your eyes found sunoo across the chaos without meaning to, some instinct making you seek him out. he was closer now, had taken down one of the other heroes and was moving in your direction, and his eyes met yours across the space between you. they were dark and unreadable and intense in a way that made your breath catch even now, even in the middle of this disaster.
then heeseung's partner appeared next to sunoo, the hero with enhanced speed that you'd forgotten about in the chaos.
"got something you want?" he called out, gesturing at you with one hand while holding up the device you'd knocked away from heeseung with the other. "then come get it!"
sunoo's eyes moved between you and the device and you could see the calculation happening in real time, could see him weighing options and running through scenarios, could see the exact moment he made his choice.
he went for the device.
turned away from you, from the fact that you were surrounded and outmatched and about to get seriously hurt, and went for the fucking weapon instead like it mattered more than you did.
the smirk he threw over his shoulder as he moved, that tiny curve of his lips that usually meant trust me i have a plan, felt like a knife sliding between your ribs and twisting.
heeseung's energy blast caught you in the ribs before you could process what had just happened, before your brain could make sense of sunoo's choice. the pain was blinding, white-hot and all-consuming, spreading through your entire body like fire. you went down hard and your head cracked against the concrete with enough force to make your vision blur at the edges, everything going fuzzy and wrong.
you heard heeseung saying something but the words were muffled, distant, like you were underwater. you felt hands grabbing your arms and hauling you up and you tried to fight, tried to make your body respond, but everything hurt and nothing was working right.
"hey, hey—stop." that was heeseung's voice, much closer now, and he sounded concerned in a way that didn't make sense. "she's actually hurt. we need to—"
"she's a villain," his partner said from somewhere to your left. "we should call it in, get her processed—"
"she's a person," heeseung interrupted, and suddenly his hands were on your face, tilting it up gently, and his expression was genuinely worried in a way that made something crack open in your chest. a hero was worried about you. a hero was checking your injuries with careful hands and looking at you with concern while sunoo, while your partner, the person you would have died for, had just walked away like you didn't matter.
"where's your backup?" heeseung asked, and he sounded almost sorry, like he felt bad for you. "your partner. he should be here, he should be helping you—"
"he left," you said, and your voice came out broken and shattered, barely recognisable. "he left me."
heeseung's expression shifted to something like anger mixed with disbelief. "what?"
"got what he wanted." you tried to laugh but it turned into a cough that brought the taste of blood to your mouth. "the device was more important than me."
"that's—" heeseung looked genuinely furious now, more angry on your behalf than you'd seen him during the entire fight. "you jumped in to save him. i saw you. you protected him from the device and he just left you here?"
"yeah," you said, and the word felt hollow and empty, like it was coming from someone else. "he did."
the pity in heeseung's eyes was somehow worse than the physical pain, worse than the cracked ribs and the head injury and the fact that you could barely stand. this hero who was supposed to be your enemy understood that you'd just been abandoned by the person you loved, the person you would have died for, the person who apparently didn't think you were worth choosing.
"i'm sorry," heeseung said quietly, and you could tell he meant it, could hear the genuine sympathy in his voice. "that's not—you deserve better than that."
the laugh that escaped you was bitter and sharp and tasted like blood. "apparently not."
you managed to create an opening then, throwing a smoke bomb you'd been saving for emergencies and using the confusion and heeseung's momentary distraction to run. your ribs screamed with every breath and your head was pounding and your vision kept going fuzzy, but you didn't stop or look back. just ran until your legs finally gave out three blocks away in some abandoned alley.
you'd cracked at least two ribs, maybe three. there was blood in your mouth and dripping down your face from somewhere and your vision kept threatening to go dark at the edges. but you were alive. you'd saved yourself because apparently no one else was going to do it.
the worst part, the absolute worst part that made you want to curl up and sob, was that a hero had shown you more concern in five minutes than sunoo had during that entire fight. he had looked at you like you were a calculated risk he'd decided not to take.
you pulled out your phone with shaking hands that you couldn't quite control and called the one person who might help you. not sunoo though, never him again.
"yeonjun," you gasped when he picked up, barely able to get the words out. "i need a favour."
yeonjun was a former villain who'd gone straight, someone you'd worked with before you met sunoo. he didn't ask questions, didn't demand explanations, just gave you an address and told you to get there however you could manage.
you abandoned your phone in the alley after you hung up because sunoo could track it and you weren't stupid enough to think he wouldn't try to find you eventually. you took only what you could carry in your current state and disappeared into the night, every step agony but necessary.
if sunoo thought a device was more important than you, then he could have it. he could have everything—his knives and his plans and his fucking invincibility and his empty warehouse. you were done.
the safehouse yeonjun set you up in was small and dingy, but it was off the grid and that was all that mattered. he helped you patch up your ribs without asking what happened, just gave you supplies and space and resources and promised not to tell anyone where you were.
you were there for three days when the nightmares started, vivid and terrible and relentless. dreams where you watched sunoo turn away over and over, where you felt heeseung's energy blast hit you again and again, where you died alone in that alley because you weren't important enough to save.
but worse than those were the dreams where heeseung's pitying expression played on repeat, the way he'd looked at you like you were pathetic, like he felt sorry for you. a hero feeling sorry for you because even he could see that sunoo had abandoned you, that you'd been left behind.
you woke up gasping every time, ribs aching with the movement, and you'd remind yourself that you'd made the right choice. that leaving was self-preservation, that staying would have killed you eventually if not physically then emotionally, that you deserved better than someone who would leave you to die.
but it hurt. god, it hurt so much it felt like dying anyway. because despite everything, despite him choosing a weapon over you, despite the mind games and the hot-and-cold behaviour and the way he'd played with your feelings for weeks, you still loved him. you still wanted him. you still missed him with an intensity that felt like it was tearing you apart from the inside.
you were so pathetic. heeseung had been absolutely right to pity you.
but at least you'd had enough self-respect left to leave. at least you could say that. at least you'd chosen yourself when sunoo had made it clear he wouldn't.
you stayed in the safehouse and tried to figure out how to rebuild a life that didn't revolve around kim sunoo, that didn't orbit around him like he was the sun and you were just a planet caught in his gravitational pull.
it felt impossible.
sunoo stared at the empty alley where your phone lay abandoned, screen cracked and battery dying. the tracker he'd embedded in it blinked weakly before going dark and something in his chest went cold in a way he didn't recognise. you were gone. he'd come back for you, of course he'd come back for you, it had been a few minutes, the device was fake anyway, just a test from the heroes to see if he actually cared about his sidekick, and you were just. gone.
the heroes had scattered. you'd disappeared. and sunoo felt something he hadn't felt in years, not since he'd discovered his invincibility and realised nothing in the world could touch him. fear. actual bone-deep terror that made his hands shake and his breath come short because you were his and you were gone and he didn't know if someone had taken you or if you'd left on your own and he wasn't sure which option made him want to burn the world down more.
he tore through the area with increasing desperation, checking every shadow, every hiding spot, every possible place you could have gone. his knives were out and his hands wouldn't stop shaking and the fear was morphing into something darker now, something that tasted like rage and felt like madness
he found the smoke bomb residue first. then the blood, your blood, spattered on the concrete in a pattern that spoke of injury and pain. there were signs of a struggle, of you fighting your way out, of you getting hurt while he was dealing with a fake fucking device that didn't matter, because the only thing that mattered was you and he'd left you and now you were gone.
something in sunoo's chest cracked wide open and what poured out was violence.
the first building went down at dawn. sunoo walked into the heroes' main headquarters and started killing people. anyone who got in his way, anyone who might know where you were, anyone who existed in his path became a target. he was calm about it, almost detached, asking each person the same question before his knives found their throats.
"where is she? where did you take her?"
none of them knew. they were all surprised, confused, trying to fight back against someone they couldn't hurt. it didn't matter. sunoo killed them anyway because maybe the next one would know, maybe the next one would tell him where you were, maybe the next body would bring him closer to finding you.
heeseung found him three buildings later, surrounded by corpses, covered in blood that wasn't his own because blood was never his own, nothing could make him bleed, nothing could hurt him except apparently the gaping absence of you.
"sunoo, what the fuck—" heeseung stopped in the doorway, eyes wide as he took in the destruction.
"where is she?" sunoo's voice was deadly calm. he turned to face heeseung with his knives still dripping. "my sidekick. where did you take her?"
"we didn't take anyone—" heeseung's expression shifted as he processed the scene. "holy shit, what did you do?"
"where. is. she." sunoo started walking toward him and there must have been something in his face, something terrifying, because heeseung actually backed up a step. "i won't ask again."
"i don't know! we let her go after—" heeseung stopped and his expression changed to something like understanding mixed with disgust. "after you left her."
the words hung in the air between them, sharp and accusatory. after you left her. like it was sunoo's fault. like sunoo had abandoned you instead of making a tactical choice that should have taken forty-five seconds and somehow cost him everything.
"i came back," sunoo said quietly, and his voice was empty in a way that made heeseung tense. "i came back and she was gone."
"yeah, well." heeseung's hands crackled with energy, preparing for a fight he had to know he couldn't win. "can you blame her? you chose a device over your own partner. she was hurt, sunoo. cracked ribs, possible concussion, bleeding, and you just walked away like she was nothing."
sunoo moved. he was across the room before heeseung could blink, knife pressed against the hero's throat, and his hands were shaking again but his voice was steady. "don't. don't you dare act like you know anything about what she means to me."
"i know you left her to die," heeseung spat, and there was genuine anger in his voice, genuine disgust. "i know i showed more concern for her in five minutes than you did in that entire fight. she was devastated. she actually thought—she believed you didn't care about her."
something in sunoo's chest twisted violently and the knife bit into heeseung's skin, drawing blood. "the device was a fake. a test. i knew it was a fake. i was calling your bluff, proving it was empty so you couldn't use it as leverage. i was going to come right back for her."
"but you didn't," heeseung said, and his eyes were hard. "you didn't come back in time and she ran. and honestly? she deserves better than someone who would leave her surrounded by enemies just to prove a point."
sunoo's knife sliced deeper and heeseung choked, hands coming up to try and push him away, but sunoo was invincible and furious and utterly past caring about consequences. "she's mine. she's mine and i'm going to find her and i'm going to fix this."
"you really think she's going to take you back after—" heeseung's words cut off as sunoo's blade found his throat properly this time, cutting deep, and blood poured hot over sunoo's hands.
"i'll make her understand," sunoo said to heeseung's dying face. "i'll make her see. she belongs with me. she'll forgive me because she has to, because we're meant to be together, because i'll burn this entire city down before i let her go."
he left heeseung bleeding out on the floor and continued his search, and over the next two weeks sunoo tore apart half the city looking for you. he destroyed three more hero headquarters, killed anyone who got in his way, followed every lead no matter how slim. he didn't sleep, didn't eat, could barely breathe properly because you were out there somewhere thinking he'd abandoned you. thinking he didn't want you. thinking you didn't matter when you were literally the only thing that had ever mattered in his entire life.
he finally found you through yeonjun. he had tracked down the former villain, cornered him in some shitty apartment, and the look on sunoo's face must have been terrifying because yeonjun gave up the address immediately, hands raised in surrender.
"she doesn't want to see you," yeonjun warned, but he was already backing away from whatever he saw in sunoo's expression. "she thinks you abandoned her. she's hurt and angry and she told me if you came looking to tell you to fuck off."
"i don't care," sunoo said, and his voice was hollow. empty. "i'm getting her back."
"sunoo, maybe you should give her space—"
"i've given her two weeks." sunoo was already moving toward the door, toward the address yeonjun had given him, toward you. "i'm not giving her another second."
the safehouse door didn't stand a chance against him. sunoo kicked it open hard enough that the wood splintered and there you were, on your feet immediately with wide eyes and an expression that was half shock, half something else he couldn't read.
you were alive. real and solid and in front of him after two weeks of losing his mind, and sunoo couldn't help it, couldn't stop himself from crossing the room in three strides and pulling you into his arms.
he held you so tight it probably hurt but he couldn't make himself loosen his grip because you were here, you were okay, you were safe and alive and he'd found you. his hands shook where they fisted in your shirt and his face was buried in your hair and he couldn't breathe properly, couldn't think past the overwhelming relief that was making his chest ache.
"you're okay," he breathed against your hair, and his voice cracked on the words. "you're okay, you're here, you're safe, i found you, you're—"
you shoved him away hard enough that he actually stumbled back a step, too surprised to resist, and when he looked at your face you were crying. angry tears were streaming down your cheeks and your expression was furious and hurt and devastating.
"don't fucking touch me," you snarled, and your voice was shaking with rage. "you don't get to touch me. you don't get to just show up here after two weeks and act like everything's fine—"
"i'm sorry," sunoo said, and he could hear the desperation in his own voice. "i'm so sorry, i looked everywhere for you, i tore apart the city trying to find you—"
"sorry?" you laughed and it sounded broken, jagged around the edges. "you're sorry? you left me, sunoo. you looked right at me, you saw that i was surrounded and outmatched and about to get hurt, and you turned around and left."
"it was a test," he said desperately, taking a step toward you even as you backed away. "the device was fake, heeseung was testing to see if i cared about you more than the mission. i knew it was fake so i called the bluff. i was going to come right back for you, it was only going to take a minute—"
"but you didn't come back!" your voice cracked and more tears fell. "you didn't come back and i was hurt and bleeding and a hero showed me more concern than you did. heeseung looked at me with pity, sunoo. actual pity. because even he could see that you'd abandoned me, that you didn't give a shit about me, that i was just—just—"
your voice broke completely and sunoo felt something in his chest shatter because you believed it. you actually believed that you didn't matter to him, that you were disposable, that he could just walk away from you.
"that's not true," he said, and his voice came out rough and desperate. "that's not true, i came back, i swear i came back. a few minutes, that's all it took to dismantle the device and prove it was fake and i turned around and you were gone. i've been losing my mind for two weeks thinking someone took you, thinking you were hurt somewhere and i couldn't find you—"
"so what?" you backed further away from him and your hands were shaking. "you want credit for that? you want me to be grateful that you went on a murder spree after you abandoned me? that doesn't change what happened. that doesn't change the fact that when it mattered, when i actually needed you, you chose wrong."
"i chose strategically!" his voice rose to match yours and he was moving toward you again, unable to stop himself. "i made the smart call, the one that would get us both out safely. how was i supposed to know you'd run before i could come back for you?"
"maybe because you've spent weeks playing mind games with me!" you were yelling now and your face was flushed with anger and hurt.
"you touch me like i matter and then ignore me for days. you tell me i'm yours and then treat me like i'm nothing. you say you'd burn the world down for me and then you literally turned your back on me when i needed you. you've given me nothing consistent except the absolute certainty that i'm not your priority, so yeah, when you walked away, i believed it. i believed that the device mattered more than me. i believed that i was expendable."
sunoo felt like he'd been stabbed, like something vital had been punctured and was bleeding out inside his chest. "you're not expendable. you're everything—"
"liar!" you grabbed something off the table, a glass, and threw it at him. he didn't dodge, didn't even try to, and it shattered against his chest and fell harmlessly to the floor. "you're a liar and i hate you and i want you to leave."
"no." sunoo shook his head and took another step forward. "no, i'm not leaving. not again. never again."
"i don't want you here!" you grabbed something else, a plate this time, and threw it harder. it hit his shoulder and shattered. "i don't want to see you, i don't want to hear your excuses, i don't want—"
you were grabbing things faster now, throwing anything you could reach, and sunoo just stood there and took it. took the mug that hit his chest, the book that caught his jaw, the vase that shattered against his ribs. he didn't dodge or defend himself, just let you express your rage in the only way you could because he deserved it. he deserved all of it and more.
your hand found a knife on the counter and you threw it with actual intent to harm, put real force behind it, and it hit him square in the shoulder and stuck there.
and he bled.
you froze immediately, eyes going wide as blood started soaking through his shirt, as the knife stayed embedded in his shoulder, as actual visible injury appeared on his body for the first time in the two years you'd known him.
"what—" your voice came out shaky and confused. "how did i—you're invincible, you can't—nothing can hurt you—"
sunoo looked down at the knife in his shoulder and the smile that spread across his face was delighted, absolutely manic, his eyes bright with something unhinged and adoring. he pulled the knife out slowly, watching blood drip from the blade, and then he was crossing the room in two strides and grabbing your waist, pulling you flush against him.
"no," he said, and his voice was soft and reverent and slightly crazed. "i'm not invincible, sweetheart. i'm immune to harm from everyone and everything in the world. except one person."
his hand came up to cup your face and his thumb stroked across your cheekbone, smearing a bit of his own blood on your skin, and his smile was soft now, tender in a way that made your breath catch.
"my true soulmate," he murmured, and his eyes were so dark, so intense as they stared into yours. "the other half of my soul. my perfect match. the only person in the entire world who can actually hurt me." his other hand tightened on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. "you. it's you. it's always been you."
your brain couldn't process this, couldn't make sense of what he was saying. "that's not—no. that's not possible. you've been fighting for years, you've never been hurt, you're completely invincible—"
"to everyone else," he interrupted, and his voice was patient like he was explaining something simple. "to everyone else i'm untouchable. but to my soulmate? to the person i'm meant to be with? i'm completely vulnerable. and i've known since the day i met you. i've known you were my mate since that jewelry store because you bumped into me while running and i felt it. this little spark of sensation that i'd never felt before. you could have hurt me then and you can hurt me now and you're the only one."
"stop," you whispered, but you didn't pull away from him, couldn't make yourself move out of his arms even though you were still so angry. "stop saying things like that."
"it's the truth." his forehead pressed against yours and his eyes slid closed like he was savouring this, savouring your proximity. "i'm obsessed with you. i've been obsessed with you for two years. i think about you constantly. the way you bite your lip when you're nervous, the way you try so hard to hide how you feel about me, the way you look at me like i hung the stars even when i know i don't deserve it. i kept you away from fights because i knew if you got seriously hurt i'd lose my mind. i pushed you away emotionally because i was terrified of what it meant that you could hurt me, that i had this weakness after years of being untouchable."
"you have a really fucked up way of showing you care about someone," you managed, but your voice was weak and your hands had somehow ended up fisted in his bloody shirt.
"i know." his eyes opened and the vulnerability in them made your chest ache. "i know i fucked up. i should have told you from the start. should have explained what you are to me instead of playing games and keeping you at a distance. but i was scared. i've never been vulnerable before. never had someone who could actually hurt me. and then you showed up and suddenly i had this thing in my chest that ached when you weren't around and i didn't know how to handle it."
"so you decided to give me whiplash instead?" you couldn't keep the bitterness out of your voice. "hot and cold, back and forth, never letting me know where i stood?"
"i was trying to protect myself," he admitted quietly. "if i kept you at a distance emotionally then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much that you could hurt me physically. if i didn't let myself care too much then maybe i'd survive it when you eventually figured out you could do better than me and left. but it didn't work. i just made you think i didn't want you when you're all i've ever wanted."
"you left me," you said again, and your voice cracked on the words because that was the core of it, the thing you couldn't get past. "you looked at me and you turned away and you left me there."
"i made a mistake." his hands were shaking where they held you and his voice was wrecked.
"the worst mistake of my life. i thought—i was so sure i'd be right back, so certain i could handle it quickly and come back for you. i didn't think about how it would look from your perspective. didn't consider how it would feel to watch me walk away. i just saw the tactical solution and took it because that's what i always do, but i should have—" his voice broke. "i should have chosen you. fuck the strategy, fuck the heroes, fuck the optics. i should have gone to you first. always you first."
you wanted to stay angry, wanted to hold onto the hurt and use it as armour against the hope trying to bloom in your chest. "this doesn't fix everything."
"i know," he said immediately.
"i'm still furious with you."
"i know."
"you're going to have to work for this. no more games. no more pushing me away. no more making me guess how you feel."
"anything." his voice was fervent, desperate. "anything you want. i'll be so honest it's uncomfortable. i'll tell you every single thought i have about you. i'll stop protecting myself and just—i'll give you everything. i'll prove that you matter more than anything else in my life."
you opened your mouth to respond, to say something about how words were easy and actions were what counted, but he kissed you before you could get the words out. it was rough and desperate and consuming, his hands fisting in your hair and pulling you closer, angling your head exactly how he wanted it. you made a sound, half protest and half something else entirely, and he swallowed it, deepened the kiss, licked into your mouth like he was trying to devour you whole.
you bit his lip hard. hard enough to break skin and taste blood, and he moaned into your mouth like it was the best thing he'd ever felt.
"still mad at me?" he murmured against your lips when you finally broke apart to breathe, and you could feel his smile even though your eyes were still closed.
"furious," you gasped, but your hands were tangled in his shirt and pulling him closer instead of pushing him away, completely betraying your words.
"good." he walked you backward until your back hit the wall and his body pressed fully against yours. "stay mad. yell at me. hurt me. i don't care as long as you're here. as long as i can touch you. anything is better than the last two weeks thinking i'd lost you forever."
"you're insane," you managed, but it came out breathy and weak because his mouth was on your neck now, teeth scraping against your pulse point in a way that made your knees weak.
"for you, yes." his hand slid under your shirt and his fingers splayed across your ribs, right over the bruises that were still fading from heeseung's attack. "i've been going insane for two weeks. tore apart half the city. killed anyone who got in my way. couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't think about anything except finding you and getting you back and making you understand that you're mine."
your breath caught as his fingers traced over the bruises with devastating gentleness, like he was memorising the exact shape of them. "he hurt you," sunoo said, and his voice had gone cold and dangerous. "heeseung hurt you."
"you killed him already, remember?"
"not slowly enough." his fingers pressed just slightly harder against the bruised ribs and you hissed at the spike of pain. "i should have made it last days. should have made him suffer for every mark he left on your skin. should have made him understand what it means to hurt something that belongs to me."
"sunoo—" you didn't know if you were protesting or encouraging him, didn't know what you wanted except more.
"i'm going to make this up to you," he promised, and when he pulled back to look at you his eyes were dark with intent, pupils blown wide. "i'm going to make you feel so good you forget about the last two weeks. i'm going to touch you until the only thing you can think about is me. i'm going to prove that you're mine and i'm yours and nothing else matters."
"that's not how apologies work," you tried to say, but it came out shaky because his hand was sliding higher under your shirt and his thumb was brushing against the underside of your breast and you couldn't think.
"then tell me to stop." he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes properly, and despite the heat in his gaze there was genuine question there too. "tell me you don't want this and i'll stop. i'll leave. i'll give you space. i'll do whatever you need, even if it kills me."
you looked at him and saw the desperation in his expression, the way his hands trembled slightly where they touched you, the blood still soaking through his shirt from where you'd stabbed him. you thought about the last two weeks of nightmares and pain and missing him so much it physically hurt. thought about how even after everything, even after he'd left you and broken your heart, you still loved him. still wanted him. still felt like a piece of you was missing when he wasn't around.
"i don't want you to stop," you whispered, and your voice came out broken and honest. "i hate you and i want you and i'm so tired of fighting it."
something in his expression shifted, softened and sharpened at the same time, and then he was kissing you again. properly this time, slow and deep and thorough, like he had all the time in the world to learn the taste of you. you kissed back with everything you had, two years of want and frustration and love pouring out.
your hands tugged at his blood-stained shirt until he had to break the kiss to pull it off, and then you could see the wound on his shoulder properly. it was still bleeding sluggishly, the skin around it red and irritated, and you pressed your fingers against it without thinking.
he made a sound low in his throat and his eyes fluttered closed. "does it hurt?" you asked, fascinated despite yourself.
"yes," he breathed, and when his eyes opened again they were glazed with something that looked almost like pleasure. "do it again."
so you pressed harder and watched his face as he reacted. watched his breath catch and his pupils dilate and his hands tighten on your waist hard enough to bruise. there was something intoxicating about it, something that made heat pool low in your stomach. having this kind of power over someone who was otherwise completely invincible. being the only person who could hurt him, the only one who mattered enough to break through his immunity.
"you want to hurt me?" he asked, and his voice dropped to something dangerous and inviting, something that made heat pool low in your stomach. "go ahead, sweetheart. take one of my knives and make me bleed. i know you want to."
your breath caught because he was right. you did want to. wanted to see him bleed for you, wanted proof that you had this power over him, that you could affect him the way he'd been affecting you for two years. wanted to make him feel even a fraction of the pain you'd been carrying around.
"you're still angry," he continued, reading you like he always did, like you were his favourite book and he'd memorised every page. "still hurt. so take it out on me. i can handle it. i want you to."
he pulled a knife from his pocket, one of his favourites, the one with the black handle that he always kept razor sharp, and pressed it into your palm. his fingers closed around yours, warm and steady, holding your hand around the weapon. "go on."
you looked at the blade, then at him, at the absolute certainty in his expression. the trust. he was giving you the power to hurt him, offering himself up to the only person in the world who could actually damage him, and telling you to use it. encouraging it even.
your hand was shaking as you brought the knife up to his chest, pressing the tip against his skin just above his heart hard enough to dimple the flesh. "you really want this?"
"i want everything with you." his hand covered yours on the handle, applying gentle pressure until the blade bit into his skin and blood welled up around it, bright red against pale skin. "even the pain. especially the pain, because it means you're touching me. means you're here and real and mine."
you dragged the knife across his chest, not deep but enough to hurt, enough to part skin and draw a thin line of blood, and watched his eyes flutter closed like he was savouring it. watched his lips part on a sharp intake of breath that might have been pleasure.
"fuck," he breathed, and when his eyes opened again they were glazed with something that looked almost euphoric. "again."
something dark and possessive unfurled in your chest at his reaction, something that liked having this power over him. you made another cut, parallel to the first, and he groaned low in his throat, a sound that went straight between your legs. his hands tightened on your waist hard enough to bruise and you were mesmerised by the blood running down his chest in thin rivulets, by the proof that you could do this to him.
"you like this," you said, and it wasn't quite a question because you could see it in his face, in the way his breathing had gone ragged.
"i love it," he admitted without shame, without hesitation. "love that you're the one doing it. love that you have this power over me. love that i can bleed for you when i can't bleed for anyone else."
you pressed the knife harder against his chest, dragging it down toward his ribs in a longer line this time, watching blood well up in the blade's wake like you were painting him. his stomach muscles tensed under your touch and his breathing was getting heavier, more erratic, more desperate.
"fuck," he hissed when you pressed the tip of the blade just above his hip bone, twisting it slightly to make it hurt more. his hand shot out to grab your wrist, not to stop you, just to steady himself, fingers digging in hard enough that you'd have marks later. "you have no idea what you're doing to me."
"i think i have some idea." you could see it in the way his pupils were blown wide, black almost completely swallowing the brown. could see it in the way he was already getting hard, the bulge in his jeans obvious and growing. "you're getting off on this. on me hurting you."
"of course i am." his free hand fisted in your hair, pulling you closer until your faces were inches apart and you could feel his breath on your lips. "you're the only person in the world who can make me feel pain. do you understand how fucking intoxicating that is?"
you dragged the knife across his collarbone, following the line of bone, and he groaned again. the sound was rough and desperate and so clearly pleasure that it made your own breathing pick up. blood was everywhere now, painting his chest in abstract patterns, dripping down his stomach to soak into the waistband of his jeans. he looked absolutely ruined and it was all because of you.
"that's enough playing around," he said suddenly, and his hand wrapped around your throat, not squeezing but possessive. his other hand plucked the knife from your grip easily. "my turn now."
he tossed the knife aside and before you could protest, before you could even process the loss of the weapon, he was on you. his mouth crashed against yours and the kiss was immediately desperate and consuming, his tongue sliding against yours while his hand tightened slightly on your throat. you could taste something metallic and realised with a start that it was his blood from where you'd apparently cut his lip at some point.
"been so patient with you," he muttered against your lips, walking you backward until your back hit the wall hard enough to knock the breath from your lungs. "letting you have your little tantrum. letting you cut me up like i'm your personal canvas. but i think that's enough attitude for one night, don't you?"
"i'm still mad at you," you said, even as your hands fisted in his bloody shirt, pulling him closer instead of pushing away like you should.
"oh, i know." his smile was sharp and mean as he pulled back just enough to look at you properly. "and i'm going to fuck that right out of you."
"you think it's going to be that easy?" you challenged, lifting your chin defiantly even though your heart was racing and you could feel how wet you already were.
"easy? no." his hand left your throat to work at your top, yanking it over your head roughly enough that you heard fabric tear. "but it'll be fun watching you try to stay bratty when you're falling apart on my cock."
"big talk from someone who—" your words cut off in a gasp as he shoved his hand down your pants without warning, fingers immediately finding how wet you were.
"from someone who what?" he asked, voice dripping with condescension as his fingers slid through your folds, spreading the evidence of your arousal. "go on, finish that sentence. oh wait, you can't, can you? not when you're this fucking wet for me already."
"fuck you," you managed, but it came out breathless and weak.
"you will be soon." he pulled his hand out and brought his fingers to his mouth, maintaining eye contact as he sucked them clean with obvious enjoyment. "mm. tastes like you're not as mad as you're pretending to be."
"i am mad—"
"then why are you dripping down your thighs, sweetheart?" he popped the button on your jeans and shoved them down along with your underwear in one rough movement. "why are you trembling? why can't you stop looking at me like you want me to ruin you?"
you opened your mouth to snap back with something cutting but he chose that exact moment to push two fingers inside you and the words dissolved into a moan that echoed embarrassingly in the small space. "
there we go," he said, and he sounded so pleased with himself it should have been annoying. "that's much better than all that talking back."
his fingers worked you with devastating efficiency, like he'd studied your body and knew exactly what you needed. they curled to hit that spot inside you that made your knees weak while his thumb circled your clit with perfect pressure. you were already embarrassingly close, wound tight from weeks of missing him and the adrenaline of the knifeplay and having him this close after thinking you'd never see him again.
"look at you," he murmured, his free hand coming up to grip your jaw firmly, forcing you to meet his eyes. "getting so close already. want to come on my fingers, baby?"
"yes," you gasped, past the point of playing hard to get or pretending you didn't want this desperately.
"ask me nicely."
"what?"
his fingers slowed to an agonising pace that had you wanting to cry from frustration. "i said ask me nicely. where are your manners?"
"please," you gritted out, hating how desperate you sounded but needing the release too badly to care about pride.
"please what?"
"please let me come."
"hmm." his fingers stopped moving entirely and you actually whimpered, a pathetic needy sound. "i don't know if you deserve it yet. you've been pretty bratty. throwing things at me, stabbing me, running away for two weeks and making me think you were dead..."
"sunoo, please—"
"tell me you're sorry," he demanded, and his eyes were dark and intense and utterly serious. "tell me you're sorry for leaving and i'll let you come."
your pride warred with need and need won decisively. "i'm sorry," you gasped out. "i'm sorry for leaving, please, i need—"
"good girl." his fingers resumed their movement immediately, faster now, harder, and you were right back on that edge within seconds. "see how easy things are when you behave?"
you came with a cry that was probably too loud, clenching around his fingers rhythmically, and he worked you through it with a satisfied smile on his face. but before you could catch your breath, before you could even start to come down, he was pulling his fingers out and spinning you around, pressing your front against the wall.
"now here's what's going to happen," he said against your ear, his body a solid line of heat against your back. "i'm going to fuck you against this wall until you forget why you were mad at me. and you're going to take it and thank me for it. understand?"
"you're so full of yourself—" you started, but cut off with a gasp as you felt him line himself up, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance.
"and you're about to be full of me," he said, and thrust in with one brutal movement that punched the air from your lungs.
you cried out at the stretch, at the way he filled you so completely you could barely breathe. he was big, bigger than you'd expected, and the angle had him hitting so deep it bordered on too much, on the edge of pain.
"fuck, you're tight," he groaned against your neck, and his voice was wrecked in a way that sent another wave of heat through you. "squeezing my cock like you don't want to let me go. thought you were mad at me?"
"i am," you managed, but it came out weak and breathless and completely unconvincing.
"sure you are." he pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in, setting a punishing pace that had you seeing stars. "that's why you're taking my cock so well. that's why you're already getting wet again. because you're so mad at me."
"shut up," you gasped, but you were already pushing back against him, meeting his thrusts, chasing the pleasure.
"make me." his hand came up to wrap around your throat from behind, not squeezing but possessive, claiming, owning. "oh wait, you can't. you're too busy moaning for me."
he was right and you hated it. every thrust hit perfectly, the angle letting him go so deep you could feel him everywhere, feel him splitting you open. your legs were shaking, barely holding you up, and if it wasn't for his grip on your hip and throat you would have collapsed.
"this is what you needed, isn't it?" he panted against your ear, and each word was punctuated by a thrust. "needed me to fuck some sense into you. needed to be reminded who you belong to."
"i don't belong to anyone," you tried to argue, but it came out more like a moan than actual words.
"liar." his hand slid from your hip to between your legs, fingers finding your clit and circling it with maddening pressure. "you're mine. have been since that jewelry store. you just needed a reminder."
"sunoo," you gasped, feeling yourself getting close again impossibly fast, your body responding to him like it was made for this.
"that's right. say my name. let everyone know who's fucking you this good." his pace got harder, more erratic, and his fingers worked your clit in tight circles. "come on my cock, sweetheart. show me who you belong to."
your second orgasm hit even harder than the first, your whole body seizing up as pleasure crashed over you in waves. you heard yourself crying out his name, felt yourself clenching around him rhythmically, and it was so intense you actually saw stars, your vision whiting out at the edges.
"fuck, that's it," sunoo groaned, and his rhythm was faltering now, getting sloppy. "feel so good when you come. so perfect. gonna fill you up. gonna make sure you remember this."
he thrust into you one final time, grinding deep, and you felt him pulse inside you, filling you with heat. for a long moment neither of you moved, both gasping for air, bodies slick with sweat and blood and completely wrung out.
then he was pulling out carefully, gently, and turning you around. he caught you when your legs threatened to give out, his arms coming around you to hold you steady. his expression had shifted, the mean dominant edge smoothed away into something softer, more vulnerable.
"can you walk?" he asked, and there was genuine concern in his voice now.
"maybe," you managed, still trying to catch your breath and make your brain work again.
"good enough." he scooped you up easily like you weighed nothing, carrying you toward the bed. "we're not done yet."
"sunoo, i can't—" you started, genuinely not sure your body could handle more.
"yes you can," he said simply, and there was that commanding tone again that made your stomach flip.
"you're insane," you said, but you didn't push him away when he laid you down on the mattress and settled between your legs.
"we've established that." he looked up at you through his lashes, and even covered in blood and sweat he was beautiful. "now be a good girl and let me taste you."
before you could respond, his mouth was on you and his tongue was licking through your folds, tasting the mixture of both of you. you nearly came off the bed from the sensitivity, it was almost too much.
"too much," you gasped, hands flying to his hair, trying to push him away.
he just grabbed your wrists and pinned them to your sides, not even pausing in his ministrations. "i don't remember asking," he said against you, the vibration of his words making you whimper.
"sunoo—"
"what did i say about talking back?" he looked up at you and his eyes were dark and stern. "every time you argue, i'm adding another orgasm. want to keep going?"
you shut your mouth immediately, and he smiled. "that's what i thought. now stay still."
he went back to work with renewed focus, his tongue circling your clit while keeping your wrists pinned to the bed. you were so sensitive that every touch felt electric, overwhelming, bordering on painful but in a way that still felt good.
"that's better," he murmured between licks, his breath hot against your oversensitized flesh. "no more attitude. just taking what i give you like a good girl."
despite the oversensitivity, despite thinking it was impossible, you felt it building again. he was making it happen with that devastating tongue, working you with the kind of precision that came from paying attention, from caring.
"sunoo, i'm—" you gasped, your hips trying to move but he held you down effortlessly.
"i know." his tongue moved faster and you could feel him smiling against you. "give it to me. one more, baby. you can do it."
when you came this time it was almost painful, the pleasure so intense it felt like electricity shooting through your entire nervous system. you were vaguely aware of crying, of making sounds that didn't sound human, but you couldn't stop it, couldn't control your body's response.
sunoo worked you through it gently this time, his tongue softening as you came down, pressing soft kisses to your inner thighs while you shook and gasped and tried to remember how to breathe. when he finally pulled back, you were completely wrecked, trembling and boneless and utterly spent.
"look at you," he said softly, crawling up your body to gather you into his arms. "so pretty when you let go."
you couldn't even form words, just buried your face in his chest and breathed in the scent of him. blood and sweat and something uniquely sunoo that made your chest ache with how much you'd missed it.
"come on," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "let's get you cleaned up."
he carried you to the bathroom and this time you didn't protest, too exhausted and wrung out to do anything but let him take care of you. he started the shower and helped you under the spray, his hands impossibly gentle now as he washed you with careful attention.
"did i hurt you?" he asked quietly, his fingers tracing over the marks he'd left on your body. the bruises blooming on your hips and wrists, the fingerprints on your throat. "too rough?"
"no," you said honestly, leaning into his touch. "just... intense."
"good intense or bad intense?"
"good," you admitted, feeling heat rise to your cheeks despite everything you'd just done. "really good."
he smiled softly at that, genuine and so beautiful it made your chest tight. "good. i never want to actually hurt you. even when i'm being mean."
"you were pretty mean," you said, but there was no heat in it, just fond observation.
"you liked it," he countered, and when you didn't argue, his smile widened into something more smug. "knew you would. knew underneath all that attitude you just needed someone to put you in your place."
"don't get cocky."
"too late." but then his expression softened again as he washed your hair with careful fingers, working through the tangles with patience. "but i'll try to be humble. for you."
"you're bleeding," you pointed out, looking at the cuts on his chest that were still seeping blood sluggishly into the water running down the drain.
"i know." he sounded almost pleased about it, like the wounds were a gift. "they'll scar. i'll have marks from you forever. i like that idea."
when you were both clean, when the water had finally run clear and all the blood was washed away, he dried you off with a towel and found one of your shirts. he helped you into it despite your weak protest that you could dress yourself, then carried you back to bed and settled you against his chest with your head tucked under his chin.
"i love you," he said quietly into the darkness, his hand stroking through your damp hair in soothing motions. "i know i'm fucked up about showing it. i know i hurt you. but i love you more than anything. you're my everything."
"i love you too," you whispered. "even when you're an asshole."
"especially when i'm an asshole," he corrected with a soft laugh. "that's when you get the most worked up."
"shut up."
"see? bratty even now." but his tone was fond, affectionate, full of something warm. "get some sleep, sweetheart. i'll be here when you wake up."
"promise?"
"i promise," he said seriously, and you could hear the weight of it in his voice. "i'm never leaving you again. never making you doubt how important you are to me. you're stuck with me now. for better or worse."
"mostly worse," you mumbled, already drifting off, exhaustion pulling you under.
you fell asleep wrapped in his arms, feeling safer and more content than you had in weeks, and for the first time since everything fell apart you felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be.
note 2: the whole soulmate thing was inspired by this!
if you liked this please comment or reblog to give me your feedback! <3
warnings: smut, dry humping, he cries, a lot of whining & whimpering, no actual sex, praise, one single instance of hair pulling, aftercare, fluff, he scents reader like one time during aftercare..and he’s very pathetic in this
love notes: im insane. don’t look at me. also this is like. the longest thing i have Ever written and it was 5am when i stopped so if it stops being coherent at some point blame my sleep deprivation 😭😭😭
word count: 4k 🦊
foxes have heightened senses, and their hearing is especially strong, so it’s a wonder how sunoo didn’t hear you approach. the bathroom is warm, leftover steam from your morning shower fogging up the mirrors. sunoo is half-lost in his thoughts, fingers resting on the edge of the sink, eyes unfocused. his ears are angled forward, alert but distant, tail swaying slow behind him like he’s running on autopilot. sometimes he drifts off like this, unfocused and daydreaming about this or that.
you come up with the brilliant idea to spook him a little, all good natured though! you take a step closer, then another, until you’re right behind him, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from him. “boo!”
the sound that leaves him is embarrassingly sharp. sunoo jumps hard, a breathless gasp tearing out of him as his body jolts forward. he spins around, and his eyes are wide, his ears flattened tight against his head. his tail fluffs, heart clearly racing as his chest rises and falls too fast. then, when he realises that no, he isn’t about to die, he sees you. relief crashes into him so hard it almost makes his knees buckle.
“oh-!” he exhales, shaky laugh slipping out as his hand presses to his chest, plush lips forming a pout. “don’t do that to me..”
“you were completely gone,” you say softly, stepping closer to hug him. “didn’t even notice me.”
he huffs, embarrassed, ears pinned low to his head. “yeah..guess i spaced out,” his body hasn’t fully settled yet. there’s tension clinging to him, buzzing under his skin. without really thinking about it, you lift your hand and reach for him, fingers brushing the soft fur of his ear.
the reaction is instant and visceral.
sunoo inhales sharply, breath catching like you’ve pulled it straight from his lungs. his whole body freezes for half a second, then gives in. his eyes flutter shut, head tilting into your hand without permission, like his hybrid instincts override his human instincts before he can stop them.
“oh..” he breathes again, quieter this time.
you pet him slowly, thumb smoothing over the sensitive base of his ear. his ears flatten further, but not from fear, moreso something a little more trusting. his shoulders drop, a soft shudder running through him as he leans back against the counter, like he suddenly needs it to stay upright. his tail, now considerably less fluffed up, curls around your leg. usually, he does this playfully, or a way to ground himself, but this is nothing like those times. this is more possessive, more intimate, like he needs to be touching you.
“you can’t just-” he cuts himself off, voice already wrecked, and all you’ve done is pet his ears a little. it’s honestly a little bit pathetic. your fingers shift, scratching lightly now, nails dragging just enough. his breath breaks completely, becoming shallow and uneven, chest rising fast as his hands tighten on the counter, grip slipping just a little. a small whine slips out of him before he can stop it, and his cheeks burn instantly. “i..i didn’t mean-”
“sunoo,” you cut him off, stepping impossibly closer, your free hand resting against his side. “tell me if it’s too much.”
he shakes his head immediately, forehead tipping forward until it rests against your shoulder. “no,” he says, barely audible. “it’s just…” he trails off hesitantly, but it’s clear he doesn’t want you to stop, so..
you don’t stop. you pet and scratch deliberately, fully aware of how sensitive he is under your hands. every little movement pulls a reaction from him, whether it’s his ears twitching, or his tail tightening around your leg, body pressing closer without him realizing it. his breathing turns rougher, heat radiating from him as he slowly unravels beneath your fingers
another soft whine slips out of him, longer this time, and he doesn’t even try to apologize. instead, he exhales shakily against your shoulder, fingers digging into the counter like he’s holding himself back from doing something he might regret. “you know my ears are sensitive…” he whines, looking up at you with the most pitiful look in his eyes, begging you for something even he doesn’t know. is he begging for you to stop, or to keep going?
you slow slightly, just enough to keep him right on the edge of control and he whines again, his eyes fluttering shut. his tail stays wrapped around you, body taut and needy in a way that makes the air between you feel unmistakably heavy. when you finally ease up a little, letting your fingers rest instead of move, he’s breathing hard, eyes still closed, forehead pressed to you like he doesn’t trust himself to pull away yet.
when sunoo does open his eyes, they’re dark and his pupils are blown wide. he doesn’t hesitate to lean in, lips brushing your cheek, lingering just a little too long to be innocent. his tail flicks once, slow and deliberate. “if you keep doing this,” he murmurs quietly, “i don’t think i can stop..”
he barely gives you time to breathe before he’s kissing you again.
it’s hungry and needy, like he’s been holding himself back for too long and something finally snapped. his lips press into yours with urgency, kisses messy like he’s trying to pour everything he’s feeling into your mouth. a soft, broken sound leaves him the moment you kiss him back, relief and want tangled together. you try to pull back, to give him some air, but he whimpers in protest, and his hands grip you tighter, unwilling to stop, even if he needs to breathe.
one of his hands trails down to grip at your waist, fingers digging in like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. the other slides up your back, pulling you fully against him, body heat overwhelming, breath hot and uneven against your lips. his tail uncurls from your leg, as if he doesn’t have the strength to keep it there anymore.
“don’t..” he pants against your mouth, already kissing you again before he finishes his sentence, ike he’s addicted to the taste of you. “don’t tease me like that…it’s too much,”
you feel how shaky he is, how every little touch sends another wave of trembles through him, and you want to see how far you can go. your hand drifts back again, hovering near the base of his tail, and his reaction is immediate and desperate.
sunoo gasps, the sound loud and uncontrolled, forehead dropping against yours as his whole body tenses. “please,” he whispers, voice breaking. “please don’t do that..!”
you giggle, your fingers brushing his tail anyway. “why? can’t take it?”
he loses it.
a desperate moan tears out of him as he tries (and fails) to get away from your touch. his ears flatten hard, trembling, tail whipping around like he’s anchoring himself. his breathing turns frantic, chest rising fast as he buries his face against your neck, and you can feel him breathing heavily against your skin. “i can’t..” he pants softly. “please.. not- not there...” but it’s too late, the effect of having what’s effectively one of the most sensitive parts of his body touched and prodded at frying his brain, until all he can think about is you.
he kisses you again, sloppier now, desperate and uncoordinated, like he needs it more than air. everytime you try to pull away he follows immediately, whimpering quietly when you don’t give him enough. his body is flushed and tense, desperation written all over him. when you finally get him to calm down a bit, his skin is flushed, leading down his chest, underneath the hoodie he’s wearing.
“poor baby,” you murmur, lips brushing his jaw, “look how worked up you’ve gotten over a few pets..” to solidify your point, you reach down to pet the base of his tail again.
it flicks erratically, and he moans softly, his grip tightening again, grounding himself through you, like you’re the only thing keeping him from tipping over completely. even though you’re the reason he’s like this.
he’s pressed so close there’s no mistaking the way his body reacts. he moves, trying to get away from the torture you’re putting him through, and in doing so, his hips shift against you, his very hard cock rubbing against your thigh.
sunoo moans loudly, and his grip on you tightens suddenly, almost panicked, like he’s just realized what’s happening and doesn’t know what to do with it. “oh..” he exhales sharply, his head falling down to your neck again, too embarrassed to look at you. his voice comes out strained, embarrassed and desperate all at once. “this is..this is bad…”
his tail jerks, fur fluffing slightly before curling tight again, and you feel the way his body goes rigid for a second, like he’s trying to will himself back under control. it doesn’t work. another shaky breath leaves him, chest pressing closer without him meaning to.
“see? a few touches and you look like you’re about to cum in your pants like a virgin,” you tease him, your hand falling to his head and pulling at his hair to get him to look at you.
the pain makes him whimper loudly, his ears flattening against his hair completely. his entire face is flushed, pupils blown so wide the brown of his eyes is completely hidden. his body gives him away anyway, cock absolutely throbbing where you can feel it, and he knows this. “you can feel it, can’t you?” he whispers, embarrassed as all hell. there’s no point denying anything, not when you’re pressed so close to him you could feel everything.
“i can.. it’s kind of pathetic, honestly. getting so hard from your tail being touched? i bet you could cum untouched from this, can’t you?” your grip moves from his hair to his chin, anchoring him in place.
he shakes his head no, too desperate to even properly deny it. he’s a sight - lips swollen and red from kissing, his eyes are half lidded, and his cheeks are flushed the prettiest shade of red.
“please,” he whines, chest pressing impossibly close against yours. his hands clutch you without thought, gripping your waist, your back, literally anywhere he can hold, fingers digging just enough to ground himself as if letting go would destroy him. his ears flatten fully now, tail twitching erratically with every small movement, every brush of your skin sending shivers down him. he looks so desperate, so fucked out already, and you haven’t even properly touched him.
he pulls back just slightly, forehead resting against yours, breath hot and uneven. eyes dark, pupils wide, glossy with need and want. “i-” he pants, voice trembling. “i can’t- i can’t think straight .. not when you do this to me..”
he presses his lips to your cheek this time, pulling you impossibly close. “you don’t even know what you’re doing to me,” he whispers, sighing shakily. “i don’t know how much longer i can…”
he trails off, breaking into a broken sound of frustration and want. the tension in him is unbearable like everything in him is just screaming to collapse entirely into you and let himself go, but he holds back just barely, teetering on the edge of desperation
you can feel it all. the way his body trembles, how desperate he is, how hard he is, and all because of you touching him. it brings a strange sense of pride to you, that you could destroy his sanity and ruin him all with just a few touches and words.
sunoo lifts his head just enough to look at you, his eyes glazed over and unfocused. he presses his mouth to yours once more, full of need and desperation and pure unadulterated lust. when he finally pulls back slightly, it’s with a shaky, ragged breath.
“we… we shouldn’t-” he whispers, voice hoarse, but there’s no real argument in it. the desperation visible in his eyes, and the way you can still feel how hard he is against your hip says everything he doesn’t. he wants this, probably even more than you do. “please…” he begs, voice high and broken. you’re not even sure if he knows he has started to grind against your thigh, just chasing pleasure wherever he can get it. “i-i can’t hold it, don’t stop, please!”
he humps harder into you, frantic motions that make you feel how badly he’s trembling with every fiber of his body. his chest is heaving, lips parting around desperate whines, and his fingers clutch your waist like if he lets go he might actually fall apart.
you haven’t even said much, too enamoured by him and how borderline pathetic he’s being. you’re just letting him do all the talking. “there you go, you’re doing so good, aren’t you? take what you need, i got you,” you’re not even sure if he heard you over the sound of his own moans, but you lean down to kiss his forehead anyway.
he shivers violently, humping against you harder, ears flicking back and forth like he can’t even contain himself. a whimper slips from him, and his lips find yours again in a messy kiss, clinging to you for grounding while every instinct burns hot and raw beneath the surface. it’s so much and he feels like he’s going insane, but he doesn’t want to stop, can’t stop.
“please…i can’t…” he whimpers, his voice trembling with the threat of tears. “help me..”
of course, you take his plea very seriously. after all, what was it that got him this desperate to begin with? yes, his ears and tail. so, like the generous person you are, you slide your hand down his back until you reach the base of his tail, scratching it gently.
this breaks sunoo. he positively wails, tears finally falling from his eyes. his hips stutter once, then he continues humping like a dog in heat, albeit more frantic now. he can’t stop. he’s full on crying, pretty brown eyes fluttering shut and then widening again. he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
it kind of turns you on, how he’s so lost in pleasure and desperation that he’s crying and grinding against you with no rhythm. “good boy.. there you go. you gonna cum for me, hm? like this?” you scratch at his tail again, relishing in the strained moan it pulls from him.
“i..” he can’t even finish his sentence, his voice cracking. his head drops to your shoulder again, hands gripping your waist like he’s holding on for dear life. his hips keep moving, as if he physically can’t stop. you can feel him throb, even underneath his clothes. you don’t bother telling him to undress, it’s far too late for that and you have an inkling that if you tried to pry him off of you, he would have a fit
“good boy.. just keep using me, okay?” you giggle at him, and you can tell he’s reaching his peak. he’s not even properly talking anymore, reduced to pathetic whimpers and soft sobs. his hips stutter where they’re humping you, and you can feel the wet patch of pre-cum from where he has definitely soaked through his clothes. “such a messy little fox, are you gonna cum like this?” with your free hand, you reach down to cup his cock through his pants, rubbing the tip where you know he’s particularly sensitive at the same time that you scratch the base of his tail again.
“ah!” he moans, louder than he has all night. “please.. ‘m gonna cum..” he sobs, tears running down his face and collecting on your neck. his pleasure peaks, raw and unfiltered, and he grinds against you frantically, all sense of rhythm completely gone as he chases his high. his hands grip you tighter, essentially pulling you against him as he thrusts, using your body for his pleasure. it’s so fucking hot, seeing him lose all self control and just using you like this, crying and whimpering for you to let him cum.
“you wanna cum? go on, make a mess of yourself, let me see it,” you finally, finally give him permission to cum, and that does it for him.
sunoo’s hips stutter for a second, body shivering violently, and he moans so fucking pathetically that you can feel a sharp sting of arousal, but you push it down in favour of focusing entirely on him. you can feel every spurt of cum from where he’s pressed against your thigh, he cums so much that it soaks through his clothes, a big wet patch forming on the crotch of his pants. you hold him through it, whispering soft praises against his ear as he cries softly, shaking with the force of his orgasm.
“good boy, you did so well for me, did that feel good? you did such a good job, did everything you were told to do.. my little fox,” you’re whispering, waiting for his shaking to ease up a little and the sobs wracking his body to calm down.
eventually, sunoo calms down to the point that he’s no longer sobbing, just soft sniffles, but he stays curled against you, trembling slightly even as the initial rush fades. his ears twitch against his head and his lips are parted around soft pants, chest rising and falling unevenly. he buries his face in your shoulder like he’s trying to hide the lingering heat and the embarrassment clinging to him.
“i-i can handle the cleaning up,” he mumbles weakly, his voice completely hoarse. he tries to push away gently, fingers brushing at your arms as if to create space even as he stumbles and his legs tremble. “really… i can- can clean up myself…” even as he mumbles this, his eyes are still unfocused and glazed over.
you nudge him lightly, tilting his face up to meet yours. your voice is gentle but firm. “nope. not today, little fox. let me take care of you., i know that was pretty intense. just… relax, okay?”
his ears twitch, tail flicking nervously, and a small whine escapes him. “b-but… i’m fine…” a lie, even he doesn’t believe it. all he wants to do is curl up beside you and sleep the rest of the week away.
“nope,” you repeat, brushing a loose strand of hair from his damp forehead, your thumb lingering at the curve of his cheek. “i’ve got you. you just stay right here. i’ll make sure you’re okay.”
he whines, this time in displeasure, but he doesn’t argue back. he’s too spent to do anything except listen to you. you laugh softly, brushing your fingers down his chest, hands careful, slow, comforting. “you just went through… a lot. you need me right now. i’ll be careful, i promise.”
he lets out a shaky breath, leaning into your touch, eyes wide and glistening. “i.. it feels sensitive.. there,” he flushes red, embarrassment written all over his face. “s-so.. please be careful?”
your hands tighten gently around him, stroking his back and shoulders, calming him before you move your hands downward. “i know,” you murmur. “i’ll be extra careful. just trust me.”
he whimpers softly, pressing his forehead to your shoulder again. “i trust you… but-”
you hush him with a finger to his lips, leaning down to press a soft kiss there. “no buts, baby. just let me take care of you.”
slowly, you begin undressing him, paying no attention to his whines of protest. you’re extra careful taking his soiled pants off, knowing that any wrong touch could make him uncomfortable. “lift your legs, that’s it, good boy,” you make sure to praise him even for the bare minimum. aftercare, especially after something as intense as this, is super important. “i’m just gonna grab a washcloth, okay?” he whines again, words failing him, but you don’t need to move very far anyway, considering you’re in the bathroom. you wet it aith warm water, and walk back to him, noticing his eyes tracking your every move. “cute,” you mumble, beginning to clean the leftover cum from his inner thighs and his cock, being extra cautious and shushing him with a soft tone every time he winces. “it’s okay, i’ll be quick,” quick, but efficient. sunoo will not be dealing with dried, crusty cum on his body thank you very much! your touch is gentle, careful of every sensitive nerve.
his eye slip shut, leaning his body against you for support. he feels.. vulnerable. all too soon, the high crashes, and he spirals a little. “i… i don’t deserve all of this…”
“yes, you do,” you murmur, pressing your forehead to his again. “all of it. you’re my baby, and i take care of you. no arguments.” you take his hand in yours, grounding him. reminding him where he is, who he’s with.
thankfully, he wasn’t pulled too deep in, and he sighs softly, melting into your touch. the sincerity of your words, and the care and gentleness you’re handling him with are enough to calm him slowly, his body relaxing little by little, though the shiver and sniffle reminds you just how sensitive he is.
when you’re finished, you look up at him. he looks like he’s about to knock out for a week, and you giggle softly. “hey there, don’t fall asleep on me just yet!”
he hums noncommittedly, nuzzling his face into your neck. “thank you..” he mumbles into your neck, kissing the skin he has access to.
you hold him close, pressing soft kisses to his head and brushing your hands through his hair. “always, little fox,” you murmur. “i’ll always be here for you.”
he brushes his cheek against the junction between your neck and jaw, tail curling possessively, and it takes you a minute to realise he’s scenting you, even if it doesn’t work as well as it would with other hybrids. it melts your heart, making you hold him that much tighter.
“good boy,” you murmur, brushing his damp hair away from his forehead. “just take it slow… you’re doing perfectly.”
he sighs into your neck, making sure you’re thoroughly scented, even if you can’t tell. he can.
once he’s lucid enough, you help him out of the bathroom to quickly pad into your room. he’s shivering slightly, although this time it’s from the cold, so you quickly pull out a pair of sweatpants for him to change into. they’re soft cotton, gentle on his sensitive skin, although he squirms when the fabric touches the skin of his inner thighs.
“there,” you murmur, brushing your fingers down his back. “clean, and in warm clothes. feel better?”
he nods weakly, pressing his forehead to your shoulder, his tail curling lightly around your waist. “much better… thanks,” he whispers, voice soft and small. “…’m tired”
you smile, ruffling his hair gently. “come on, you look like you need a lot of cuddles right now.”
you take his hand and guide him to the bed, as soon as you’re both under the blankets, he positively *melts*, curling up against you immediately, content whines escaping as he burrows closer.
“you’re warm,” he murmurs, burrowing his head into your neck. you hold him close, arms wrapping around him, fingers threading through his hair in soft motions.
“i’m not going anywhere,” you murmur, pressing soft kisses to the top of his head, over his ears. “you stay right here. we’ll stay like this as long as you want.”
he lets out a small, happy whine, tail brushing your side, ears flicking in contentment. “thank you.. for everything,” he whispers softly as he cuddles impossibly close, so close you can’t tell where you end or he begins, forehead resting against your chest. “i needed this..”
you keep petting his hair, listening as his breathing evens out and watching his face settle into a peaceful expression. he’s out like a light, obviously exhausted from everything. it’s cute, how even though he’s deep in sleep, his arms stay wrapped around you and his tail curls lightly around your thigh, making sure you don’t leave him. you settle down, your own eyes heavy, and you fall asleep with the lingering thought of you’d never leave him anyway.
GENRE/CW: smut, angst, slight fluff, porn with plot, unprotected sex ( wrap it before you tap it), oral (fem rec.), dry humping, orgasm denial, masturbation, overstimulation, prey-predator dynamics, praises and degradation, spit kink, dacryphilia, usage of nicknames, mentions of stalking, dark content, manipulation, obsession, emotional (?) cheating, mentions of blood, unsettling topics, read at your own risk! lmk if i missed anything.
WORD COUNT: 29.1k words!
SYNOPSIS: Jake sim never cared about the game itself, only how long he could play before you realized he was the only piece that ever mattered. Every move you make teaches him something, every single lesson brings the board closer to a position you cannot escape—the one he’d been circling from the start, the one he’d built every single move around, just to say checkmate.
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni.
A/N: hihi loves <3 back with another long fic gawd, it is a topic that i have not explored before so i hope you guys enjoy it <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <33
CHAPTER. 𝐈
Jake is the kind of man the room adjusts itself around, and he’s well aware of that. That’s the kind of aura you’d bring in as a rich upperclassman who’s got a personality charming enough for the crowd to stand and stare in hopes of deciphering him. He didn’t mind that, as if anyone could see beyond his fuckboy yet scholar persona that he wore so well.
He’d learned to read rooms earlier on in his life, not because he was a people pleaser, seeking validation, but the kind of man who loved the comfort others predictability provided him with. People liked what they thought they understood, and Jake had become very good at letting them think they did.
It was orientation day for the new cohort in his major—something that was mostly a formality for him by now, standing up in the front with the module leader, watching the first years filter into the room with the same blend of anticipation and nervousness, which only lasted a week or two.
You weren’t any different from the lot, excited to explore the new stage of your life, though you seemed to hide it well with a calm demeanour, minus the faint smile on your face. Arriving early was a good start for you, especially when you met two girls who were more than happy to accommodate you into their friendship which had formed not more than ten minutes ago, already feeling promising.
They’d been eager to introduce themselves, dropping their names—Karina and Giselle, as you found a seat together, chatting as everyone settled down, learning the basics about each other. You listened more than you spoke, relaxed now that you didn’t feel alone in a new place. Your presence was subtle, blending in with others, or so you thought.
Karina’s eyes roamed around the room, “my friend also studies here, she’s in the second year, y’know?” She spoke up all excited, making you both lean in as her eyes settled on someone, “fuck. She did tell me about this guy called Jake being fine, but damn, he looks so good in real life.”
You followed the direction of her stare, simply out of curiosity, finding the module leader fixing her mic, and a figure standing right next to her, garnering attention effortlessly.
He definitely seemed good looking, standing tall and looking around the room, but you didn’t see beyond that, letting out a small, “oh, he does look confident.”
“That’s one word for it, I’ve also heard he’s got a bit of a reputation of fucking around. How that rumor got spread on a university level is beyond me,” Karina shrugged.
“I’d tap that,” said Giselle, obviously interested in the man.
It made you all laugh faintly at her, the topic switched fast after that, something about roommates and campus tour, not knowing that Jake had his eyes on you, not too intense for the others to notice, but still there, easily lip reading how you’d reduced him to one word—confident.
Right then, the module leader tapped the microphone, “alright everyone, if we could settle down.”
Everyone was quick to obey, the room shushing down into faint whispers, and then absolute silence except for the leader’s voice, who introduced you to the basics of University and the course. You were quick to note down everything that felt important to you.
“This is Jake Sim,” the module leader spoke again, gesturing to him, “he’s one of our second years, the class representative, and he’s kindly agreed to help out with orientation this week. If you have questions about the course or the department, he’s your person.”
A ripple of chatter went through the room as you looked up at him again, just like everyone else did, only to find his eyes on you for a split second, before he gave everyone a smile, nodding in acknowledgement.
“Welcome! I’m Jake,” he spoke up smoothly, slight Australian accent evident in his voice, “I promise it’s not as hard as it seems right now, our professors just like to scare new students.”
That earned a few laughs from the students around you, even one from the professor. Karina snorted, “look at him lying, it’s uni, it’s supposed to be scary.”
“Well, you can’t just go ahead and say that in front of everyone, can you?” Giselle rolled her eyes, and you nodded with a look, which successfully pissed Karina off, before all of you chuckled slowly. You were genuinely happy to have found those two so early in your day, being friendless at a new place honestly sounded like a nightmare to you.
Jake went on explaining the basics and what to take care of as a student. You listened carefully, simply because his voice seemed perfect for someone who’d do public speaking, eyes wandering around the room to make sure everyone listens to him.
Meanwhile Karina has started talking about this new amazing lipgloss she’d gotten and you both hummed in agreement when she showed it to you.
“A lot of you might feel left behind at some point,” Jake’s voice boomed, “but that doesn’t mean you are, you just need to pay more attention.” His eyes were now on you again, but you couldn’t make it out from the distance, especially with the glasses he wore.
“Is he trying to tell us to pay attention?” You asked, amused now and the girls agreed furiously.
“Oh he definitely saw us talking,” Giselle mumbled.
The speech went on for a while, before the professor kindly asked the second year students to go around and take up doubts, because the first years looked way more scared now that the modules and assignments were laid out in front of you.
You three didn’t have any questions per se, but Giselle still wanted to talk to whom she now called ‘a fine piece of ass,’ raising her hand with such excitement, it knocked Karina towards you, your pen falling down in the process, which you didn’t register.
One second year was moving towards your group, but Jake’s eyes were quicker, and so were his legs. Within seconds, he stood right where you sat, “having doubts, hm?” He asked with a little smile.
“I just wanted to ask what professor should we steer clear of,” Giselle shrugged and you all chuckled.
“Trust me, all professors are good, just make sure to be good in front of Mr. Park,” he whispered the last part, his voice sweet enough for the girls around you to swoon.
With a nod, you ended that interaction, but Jake didn’t want that. He bent down without saying anything as your phone buzzed, your attention diverting, which was quickly brought back to him as he extended his arm, holding your pen out.
“Oh,” you said, surprised, giving him a faint smile at the kind gesture, “thank you.”
Your fingers brushed his, and for a second, you thought that he wasn’t letting go, feeling the warmth of you with the little touch, before he finally let you have it, the same gentle expression on his face.
“Welcome to Decelis University,” he mumbled, still looking at all three of you, but his focus was definitely on only one of you, which you had failed to register yet again, “hope to see you guys at the freshers mixer tonight,” he smiled, tapping the desk twice before he walked to the others who had doubts.
“Damn,” Giselle said, completely smitten as Karina giggled, meanwhile you checked your phone.
boyfie: all okay there, love?
you: all good so far, can’t wait to tell you about it :3
boyfie: perfect, see you at home ❤️
“Let’s go, explore the university now!” Karina suggested, or more like—she insisted.
You both nodded, linking arms as soon as you were allowed to leave, walking out as if you’d known each other since childhood.
Not knowing that Jake stood there, eyes following you out till your figure disappeared behind the door.
CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐈
For someone who liked to live a simple life, you’d probably overexerted yourself a lot today, considering you were sitting in Karina’s Mercedes Benz as she drove exceeding the speed limit for that road.
“You’re going to get us killed!” Your fingers tightened around the seatbelt as the wind caressed your face in high hopes of calming you down.
Meanwhile, Giselle didn’t hold back with her scream, a low chuckle leaving Karina’s lips, “don’t worry, girls. I know this route like the back of my hand.”
She was right about that one, the car surged confidently in precision, unfamiliar streetlights slipped over your face in intervals, illuminating fragments of your reflection in the half open window—tired eyes, and a faint smile that hadn’t fully left you yet. You checked your phone without thinking, the familiar name on your screen calming you more than anything could ever do.
“See?” Karina said, slowing just enough as neon signs began to crowd the pavement, “we’ve reached, all alive.”
Giselle clapped dramatically, “barely did. But yeah, we’re alive.”
Inside the club, it was exactly what you’d expected—dim yet impactful strobing lights, bodies pressed together in the corners making you realize just how quick people were to make connections, and of course, the loud music booming around. Karina slipped into it effortlessly, already weaving through someone in the crowd, the guy she’d met earlier during the uni tour, while Giselle followed just behind her, laughing and moving to the beat without a second thought. You stayed close at first, letting yourself be pulled along, letting the rhythm guide you for a fair few songs, enjoying it in small bursts even as you felt it beginning to wear on you.
It was too new. The new city, new crowd, new faces—something you weren’t used to, having done all of this with either your childhood friends, or that one person you trusted the most. It didn’t take long before the room started to feel smaller with unfamiliar hands brushing past you more often than you liked. When it became a tad too much, you excused yourself easily enough, telling them you were going to grab a drink before either of them could protest.
A certain man looked your way as you leaned against the counter, waiting, fingers resting lightly against the cool surface while condensation gathered on the glass in front of you. You hadn’t even taken a sip when someone stepped into your space, close enough that your shoulders tensed instinctively before you turned to face him.
It was evident that he was drunk, and you were still polite as you declined his filthy invitation, but he was beyond comprehension now, leaning in as you prepared yourself to push him.
Jake was quick to appear with a smile on his face, patting the guy on his back twice, as if meeting a friend, “mate,” he muttered, voice calm, “think you good?”
The guy just nodded, each movement sloppy as you stared at Jake, your heartbeat rising at the situation and doubt of what it could’ve been without his intervention. Jake only smiled, guiding him away to what seemed to be his friends, “take care of this one,” he muttered bitterly once you were out of the hearing range.
You closed your eyes, letting out a shaky breath just as Jake appeared again with an apologetic smile on his face, “sorry about that one.”
“Thank you,” you replied, passing him a small smile of your own, “for helping. It would have been a nasty scene if I had slapped him.”
Jake let out a quiet breath of laughter at that, the corner of his mouth lifting like he could picture it all too clearly, impressively so, “yeah, probably best for everyone that it didn’t come to that.”
His gaze flicked back to the glass in front of you as you took a sip which you didn’t really enjoy. Without saying anything, he reached for it, arm extended and his veins evident through his black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, fingers wrapped over yours for barely a second, tipping your drink slightly and adding a splash of coke to it.
“Here,” he said, handling it back to you.
“Oh, thank you.” You took a sip, enjoying the flavour a lot better now, “that’s actually good.”
Jake observed it—the tension of your shoulders easing into the same comfort you had with the friends you made earlier. A little gesture adding more to his character, making him rather trustworthy in the sea of drunken strangers. He leaned against the counter in silence, “I’m glad.”
“I better get going,” you said, pointing at Karina who waved your way as Jake followed your eyes, nodding with yet another smile he so easily wore.
“Have fun, will see you around,” he said, pushing off the counter as you both parted ways.
He found an empty stool, sitting right where he could keep a check on all students, just as the other second year students were doing. It had been a few minutes, but he could see you typing something on your phone, eyes filled with exhaustion. Yet you were cheerful when you hugged your friends goodbye as they teased you about something Jake couldn’t quite decipher from the distance.
Then you were quick to walk outside, waiting by the door. Jake had followed you without any ill intentions, just stopping right before he witnessed your eyes shining as you made your way into the car that stopped right in front of the club. You were quick to enter the car with a wide smile on your face as Jake watched with his eyebrow raised, even more so when you leaned in to kiss the man who sat in the driver’s seat.
He clicked his tongue at the minute PDA, his smile deepening into a smirk when the car pulled away and the lights bled into the darkness, attention fixated on where you’d been moments ago. He turned back inside after a moment, already replaying the details, already adjusting his understanding, aware that some things didn’t fit neatly into place and never really were meant to.
And Jake had never been very good at leaving anomalies unexplored.
CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐈𝐈
“Fuck,” Jake groans, his plush lips bitten with the need to chase the high he couldn’t achieve, thrusting into the girl he couldn’t even bother remembering the name of, and the only response he got was an incoherent wail of pleas, the whole room could feel the reverberating noise of skin slapping.
The girl was more than overstimulated, almost crossing the line between heaven and hell with how satisfied she was, but Jake? He could only close his eyes, gathering a little of what he’d seen of you the past few days. Granted, it wasn’t much, yet it was definitely enough to keep him riled up and going, the pace only increasing as he finally hit that one spot, yet another deep groan leaving his throat as he filled up inside the condom he wore.
Nothing else could be heard for the next few seconds, simply the deep sound of breathing. The silence being enough for Jake to shake his head with his jaw tight as he got up, grabbing fresh clothes from his closet, “I’ll call a cab for you.”
“Wait—you won’t let me stay? You said you liked me,” the girl asked, barely being able to get up.
“You know what you signed up for, hm?” Jake only smiled, leaving the girl alone to freshen up in the bathroom. By the time he came out, the girl was gone, just as he intended.
Making his way downstairs, he found the two of his friends playing Valorant, acknowledging his presence the second he walked in, “were you trying to kill her? The fuck are you so frustrated for, huh?” Jay asked.
Sunghoon chuckled, “he couldn’t fuck the girl he’s been staring at from the past few days,” he explained with a smirk.
Jake found humour in this too, dragging his veiny hand through his hair, still feeling the aftershocks of what was meant to be a satisfactory act for him, “you paying attention now?”
“Just fuck her if you want to man,” Jay urges.
“She’s got a boyfriend,” Jake mutters, grabbing a can from the fridge.
“That never stopped Sunghoon, y’know?” The boys chuckled at that.
Sunghoon glanced at him sideways, controller resting idle in his hands, “you’ve actually been weird lately,” he said, “almost like sex doesn’t satisfy you anymore.”
Jake took a slow sip of his red bull, eyes fixed on the muted glow of the television screen, the game paused mid-fight, “maybe I’m bored,” he replied, voice almost amused, “same faces, same convos. Gets old, y’know?”
Jay snorted, “you? Bored?” He shook his head, “now that’s new.”
Jake shrugged, setting the can down before standing again, “I’ve got stuff to do, will be back.”
Upstairs, his study room felt too quiet, Jake sat on the edge of his bed and opened his laptop, the screen lighting up with pages he hadn’t bothered closing earlier—Uni portals, timetables, other social feeds he kept as background noise but never really were. He clicked through them absent-mindedly at first, then with more precision, eyes narrowing as he found what he was looking for.
You had never told Jake your name, you didn’t really have to. He was efficient enough to find out the basics himself. All it took was a few minutes of cross checking the orientation lists, narrowing it down by majors and the list of students with their ID photo popped up, it was rather easy for Jake. He leaned back, whispering your name, hand resting on his lips when he further started to learn more, curiosity getting the best of him.
And so, it wasn’t much when he found your socials, not having a lot of info on them, yet enough for your stories to tell him exactly what your new favourite drink was from the Library cafe, the last few books you’d read, even an insight on your letterboxed filled with myriad of movie reviews, some of which he even took the time to watch.
Jake leaned back slightly, elbows resting on his knees as the laptop buzzed quietly. His eyes flicked to another tab—one he’d opened days ago and never bothered closing. The mentorship program. It was mandatory for all first years, even Jake was involved last year. Though it’s randomly assigned, Jake took the liberty to make the list himself, the other class representatives gladly handed the task over to him in hopes of not being burdened with further work themselves.
He smirked to himself, of course he couldn’t let such a pretty girl be bothered about the basics of University when he was right there to guide you, well, amongst other students he took under his wing. People do this when they’re infatuated, don’t they? Your relationship won’t be much of a problem since he only wanted to get close, just a little.
He repeated your name again, in a softer tone now, with the surety that no one could say it better than he did. He saved all the files, shutting the laptop down and staring at the few pictures he’d managed to print out, specifically the one with your boyfriend, his face crossed out with a blood red marker. He set the photo face-down on the desk as he stood up, smoothing the front of his shirt.
He flicked the light off and closed the door behind him, already wearing the version of himself everyone expected to see. When he joined his friends again, he dropped back onto the couch easily, leaning forward to grab a controller, his smile relaxed and unremarkable. Jay shot him a glance but didn’t question it, too focused on the game to notice how settled Jake looked now, how satisfied.
And as the screen lit up with movement once more, Jake played along like nothing had changed at all, knowing full well that everything had.
CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐕
You liked your Uni so far, you’d adjusted into your new life now, better than ever. It was quite a dream come true to you, living with your boyfriend, almost like starting a new book with all happy tropes incorporated into one. The one year you were without him was enough for you to apply to a university in his city, where he worked. It all worked out beautifully, well, as much as it could, because not everything went in the way you wanted it to.
It already had been half a month since the lectures started, and you were scrolling through the new mails, finding a new one popping up right then, labelled as Mentorship Guidance. It was a formality for all students, six of them being assigned to a senior with monthly meetings to ensure everyone’s doing well, a familiar name attached at the bottom of the mail—Jake Sim.
You were glad it was someone you’d met before, he seemed reliable from what you’d gathered, but your attention was diverted quickly once your boyfriend entered the room, engulfing you in a back hug which you so lovingly accepted. This is the life you’d always wanted, even though your boyfriend did stay busy with work most of the time.
Jake didn’t think so, he thought you deserved better even when he saw your boyfriend dropping you off for the mentorship meeting three days later. He’d arrived early, he liked to ensure everything went just the way he wanted, absolute perfection of the plan he’d thought of. The small seminar room was quiet when he entered, making sure the seats were relaxing and the atmosphere warm.
He set the drinks down one by one, six cups in a neat line, lids pressed on firmly, sleeves placed carefully so no one burnt their fingers. It would look like thoughtfulness to them, a harmless senior trying to make first years feel welcome, and that was the whole point. He’d made sure there were options, of course, because he wasn’t careless, but there was only one cup he’d checked twice before leaving the café—yours.
He’d ordered it the way you liked it, right down to the small preference you hadn’t even written out properly, the detail tucked into a story caption that disappeared within twenty-four hours. Jake remembered it anyway, the same way he remembered the shape of your smile the night you’d climbed into that car.
He sat down only after everything was placed exactly as he wanted it, choosing the seat that gave him the best view of the door right before the students started to arrive in the room. Jake had taken a note of everyone’s names and basics, just to seem like a good mentor. A guy came in first, followed by the other students as he greeted them all with their names.
Then you walked in and Jake’s focus shifted entirely, as if everything else in the periphery became noise to him. You looked more confident now, as if you’d been settling in well, wearing that necklace you always fidgeted with.
“Hey, good to see you,” Jake smiled smoothly, making you smile and nod with politeness.
He introduced everyone naturally, feeling this surge of emotion when he reached you, your name rolling off his tongue naturally, exactly how he had practiced all this while, “Before I start, I got a little something for you guys,” he says, reaching for the drinks and passing them around, “I got a few random ones, I hope you guys like it.”
You were surprised when you took a sip—it was the drink you had liked, and to your pure luck, you’d gotten the same one here, a small smile making it all worth it for Jake, who was a keen observer of everything. He’d wondered how you’d look so up close again, in bright daylight with nothing to hide, each crease of your smile was visible, and he took a note of it all, as if it was a meeting for him.
The meeting went by smoothly with how easygoing the group was, the conversation shifting into something more casual now, Jake let it happen, watching the shift with quiet satisfaction, easing back in his chair like he had intended this to happen.
“So,” he said lightly, resting his forearms against the table, fingers loosely interlaced, “how’s everyone surviving so far? Be honest, yeah? This is a safe space.”
Someone laughed, “barely surviving,” a girl near the window said. “I swear the reading list is longer than my fucking will to live.”
That earned a ripple of chuckles, even from you, and Jake caught it—the way your lips curved before you looked down again, fingertips grazing the side of your cup. He smiled alongside.
“It evens out,” he said easily, “give it a few more weeks.”
“You moved here for uni?” Someone asked you, and you nodded.
“Well—yeah. It’s easier for me since my boyfriend already works here,” you nodded and the girl squealed.
“Are you living together?”
“Yeah, his apartment is also close to the uni, which actually helps,” you smiled fondly, not knowing how Jake focused on this extra piece of information you’d just dropped so casually, staring your way as you sat right next to him. The conversation then shifted to something else, and you were glad once the meeting was over.
Your bag slipped just as you were getting up, a few pens and notebook falling down in the process. Jake was quick to pick everything up, along with you, setting most of it in your bag as you thanked him. It was clear he was a kind man, always there to help anyone under any circumstances, failing to register the small device he put in the corner, which looked exactly like the pen you’d dropped on your orientation day.
“You’re so kind,” you smiled, taking the bag back before leaving along with other students, completely missing the look of pure pleasure on Jake’s face as he slid your lipgloss in his pocket without any guilt, your faint clean scent only making him go dizzy.
He unlocked his phone, opening the app he’d installed which broadened into a map with a single red dot, which was now moving outside of the room where Jake stood. He grimaced at the thought of you going back home to a man, a man who clearly didn’t belong with you. It was no bother waiting there in the room, in fact, he took his sweet time to do some background research on the people around you, sitting in the seat where you sat earlier.
The warmth gives him room to think, he doesn’t rush these things; rushing makes people careless, and Jake prides himself on never being careless. Instead, he lets himself sit with the irritation, with the image of you unlocking a door that isn’t yours alone, laughing at something a man says because he thinks he’s earned that right being by your side for what? A few years.
Not yet, Jake tells himself, calm as ever. He scrolls through what he already has—the basics. Names connected loosely enough to pass as coincidence, random public traces and patterns, everyone has a digital footprint, and god he’s more than delighted to find yours. Who you follow, who follows you back, which names repeat often enough to take into account. He pays attention to timelines more than content, noting who appears consistently and who drops out of the picture without explanation. Families leave different marks than friends do, and so do lovers who think they’re permanent.
Jake quickly switches the tabs on his laptop when a student enters the room again, claiming the headphones he’d forgotten, and Jake puts on his best smile as he returns it to him, bidding a goodbye before that smile drops. He pushes his glasses up witj one finger, checking the application which clearly showed your dot slowing down, stopping entirely by the next two minutes.
His eyes trace the map, memorizing the location which was indeed only fifteen minutes away from the campus, five minutes from his penthouse. Close, just like you said. Ever so convenient for him, even you knew not to stray away so far from the person who was handmade for you.
His eyes darkened when he pulled out the socials of your boyfriend, scoffing when he didn’t find a single picture of you there, absolutely no trace of having a girlfriend, as if you were not a goddess given to him in a human form. Jake would show you off enough to know you’re taken, he’d hide you enough for only him to know what you are from inside out.
Did he even know how to make you feel good? Or that you have a twitter account to talk about your fantasies and the filthy eroticas you read? Could he make you moan? Make you feel satisfied? The thought enough had him chuckling with anger, a vein popping on his forehead. But it was okay, it wouldn’t last for long when you understand that you belong with him—to him.
Completing his final assignment for the month, Jake rubbed his bottom lip, now he was free, having all the time in this world to devote to you, to your smile that allowed a faint dimple to grace your face on your right cheek, to your perfectly crafted body, to every single essence of your being and existence.
He saw your dot moving just as he got up, checking the time—perfect for grocery shopping at the nearest Tesco, then he looked out the window to find the sky clear of any clouds, quickly diverting his gaze to his phone, the weather app open, indicating eighty one percent of precipitation in the next seven minutes, a smirk gracing his face. For the first time ever, he was thankful for this city to have unpredictable weather, something you were surely not accustomed with.
If he gets his timing right, he could garner another interaction. He clicked his tongue with a smirk, zipping up his bag, and slinging it over his shoulder, walking out, leaving his car in the parking lot without much care as he walked, getting his timing right just for the first raindrop to fall on his lip, which curled as he saw you with your hands full—two bags of groceries, just as he thought.
It was the right time to pull out his umbrella, taking in the second to watch your expression curl into one of absolute disbelief at the now dark sky with no way to cover yourself. Oh how beautiful you looked like that, struggling alone as if Jake wouldn’t build a whole shop right next to your apartment if you’d just ask.
It was then that he stepped into your peripheral vision, holding the umbrella in a way that you’d see his face, your eyes widening in recognition, whispering his name before you could stop yourself. It was perfect, the way Jake looked surprised as he stopped, eyeing your state as raindrops cascaded down your face like he didn’t stare at you before.
“Y/N,” he smiled, holding the umbrella over you without saying much, “fancy seeing you here.”
Your eyes told him exactly how happy you were for the cover, “yeah! Do you live around here?” You asked with that little smile of yours which was more polite than genuine.
Jake hummed, “my apartment is ten mins away from here. I see with the groceries, you must live around too.”
He knew exactly where you lived, he just wanted to hear it from you, and he felt that buzz inside him when you nodded, and explained how it’s five minutes away for you.
“Let me help then,” he whispered, brushing his fingers against yours as he took a hold of the bag that seemed heavier, without giving you a chance to complain, but you still did.
“Oh, you don’t have to!” You were shaken almost at the sudden act, not scared, but rather at the easy show of his helping nature, the control he held over every situation, just how he was always there to help. You didn’t question it, you ran into your classmates all the time around this area.
“I can’t let you carry it all alone now, can I?” He showed you the boyish grin of his, making you smile, this one seemed rather genuine, sending sparks right down Jake’s pants, “guide me, okay?”
You nodded, “thanks, Jake. You’re genuinely so sweet,” you muttered, and you did mean it, not knowing what that did to Jake, but he knew it was the perfect time to instigate.
“It’s my pleasure. Why are you doing groceries alone though?” He asked, just how normal people do, trying to make small talk.
“Oh—uh, my boyfriend works till eight, so I just take care of the rest of the things,” you smiled as if it was normal, highly aware that you were giving out your details to him.
Wrong. Jake wouldn’t let you do that, fuck, he won’t let you work at all, you deserved to be treated like a princess so all you could focus on was him and studies, nothing else should matter.
“That’s fair,” he forced himself to say, “I’m glad you have someone with you here.”
“Me too!” You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes, as if something had happened, something you wouldn’t tell an acquaintance, but he still took his chances, slowing a little when he saw your house coming into view by the next turn, the perfect spot with absolutely no CCTVs.
“You sure you’re good?”
You paused for a second, thinking about how to frame your words, especially since you didn’t wish to make your boyfriend sound bad, especially because you were telling it to someone who was still a stranger, “yeah, I just wish we could have more time to spend together now that I’m here.”
“He sounds like a good man, working hard for you,” Jake replied, voice soft under the patter of rain, “I hope you get whatever you want,” he let out, absolutely not meaning it.
You saw him in a different light when he didn’t judge your situation, because your friends did when you told them the same. Jake was quick to catch that glint in your eyes, handling you the bag back when you stopped.
“I’ll walk from here, thank you for helping me, Jake,” you spoke softer now, not wanting him to know your house number.
“You say that a lot.”
“You help me a lot.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Jake said in a beat, earnest with his words, that had to staring a second too longer at him, not knowing how Jake was crumbling inside with the look of pure innocence that you gave him.
That interaction stayed in his mind as he bid you goodbye with a smile, walking ahead first to make sure you know he’s not trying to hit on you. No. It was too early for that, he just had to learn more, he had to build that trust more, morph himself into the very image of a perfect man crafted just for you.
Your heart was heavy as you reached home, half soaked from when Jake wasn’t there to shield you from the rain. You loved your boyfriend truly, and maybe it was selfish of you to even want more time with him when he was busy with work. Yes, he did give you time on weekends, yes he was never bad to you, and you knew he loved you, but somewhere, you just didn’t want to have that flatline graph with no excitement, wanting a little more from the relationship.
Outside, Jake stopped right by the corner to observe the lights to make sense of which room was the bedroom, staring for a while to conclude it was the bottom left one—perfect, easy access. Once he was done checking every bit of space around you, he moved, going back to uni for his car, the scent of you lingering in his mind, the way you looked at him when he so effortlessly helped you, and he always would, you just have to wait and see.
CHAPTER. 𝐕
Shooting a goodbye to Sunghoon, Jake left the last lecture for the day, making his way to the library to make sure his calculations were right, a smirk gracing his face for barely a second as he spotted Giselle sitting with her head in her hands, evidently struggling with the essay on cardiovascular biotechnology—given by none other than Mr. Park, the one Jake had warned them about.
Jake knew it was impossible to be always right, but he liked to take his chances. He bent down, tapping the table twice which evidently startled the poor girl, but she melted comically fast, watching Jake looking worried about her, “all good?”
“Y—yeah! Just doing my essay,” Giselle replied in a haste.
Jake nodded, as if trying to recall where he’s seen her before, “You’re new right? 2026 cohort for biotech?”
Giselle was visibly happy at the recognition as she nodded with a smile, which eventually led to Jake offering help and her accepting it without thinking twice. Everything was going according to the plan as Jake ended up providing her with every single resource she needed and more, all research papers as she stared in awe, now taking her chance to actually invite him out.
“I can’t thank you enough, Jake! I would love it if you join me and my friends at the arcade tomorrow—only if you’re free though! You can bring friends too—”
It was that easy, just pretty boy privileges. He thought he’d still have to work hard and maybe be the one to extend the invite, but again, the universe worked well in his favour despite how wrong it was, “I’d love to,” he smiled.
That’s it, his work was done, perfectly so. Exchanging numbers was the last thing he did before bidding goodbye to her, turning around with his usual smirk, unlocking his phone to see if the package he’d ordered had been delivered or not, just to find it was. His mind was on overdrive this whole time, especially with the thought of seeing you outside of the university setting again.
He wondered if you’d dress up knowing he’s gonna come, would you even know that he’s invited? Will you smile seeing him there? He gripped the steering wheel tighter, knuckles turning white as he drove back to his apartment. He could feel a buzz through his veins at this newfound feeling, the thrill he never got with just fucking around, somehow this felt even better than the orgasm those mindless one night stands provided him with.
So this is what it is like to fall for someone? It’s inevitable. Wanting felt too easy, almost crude and Jake didn’t want you—he needed you just like he knew you belonged to him. The lack of control irritated him, especially because this isn’t how he operated, he was too used to getting the things he wanted ever since he was a kid, but you? You were taken away from him the very second he decided to have you.
He groaned out your name again, chuckling like a madman at how he just wanted to fuck you when he first saw you. Fuck you? He’d treasure you, he’d make every inch of you feel so good you’d never think about anyone else—he’d worship you. Seeing you with a guy who wasn’t him had his blood boiling, yet he welcomed the heat. He bit on his bottom lip with such intensity, it had him tasting blood.
And now, he had to control things from the sidelines, stepping further to actually get an insight on your life beyond how you’re reading a queer cultish erotica right now. He will know more once he gets you a plushie tomorrow. He reached home with ease, paying extra attention to your lane when he did so—the lights were on and your red dot rested safely at your place. Jake was quick to grab the parcel from his mailbox, meticulously unboxing it with a blade, inspecting the small device that laid inside.
Just a cute little gift from him to you.
CHAPTER. 𝐕𝐈
The change of scene was exactly what you needed after the past few days, working on your assignments tirelessly with absolutely no break whatsoever. It didn’t help how your boyfriend had been just as busy, if you exclude that one day he was generous enough to actually watch a movie with you. You missed him despite how close he was to you, it felt like darkness had surrounded your entire existence.
Which is why you wore a genuine smile watching the neon lights blending together, paired with the constant beep and chime of the gaming machines. You loved arcades, it reminded you much of your childhood when everything was colourful, unlike now. Karina was quick to take the lead, swiping her card.
“This is actually rigged,” she shook her head, failing to get the Pokémon plushie for the third time now.
Giselle looked around, as if waiting for someone when you groaned, meeting the same fate as Karina on the other claw machine, eyes meeting hers now, “why do you look so distracted?”
“Yeah? Don’t tell me you called another of your crushes without informing us first,” Karina mumbled.
This had Giselle giggling nervously, “you see—”
“Fucking knew it,” you rolled your eyes, remembering how she did the same a month ago.
“Hey! It’s Jake, can you blame me? He’s bringing a friend too so stop making that face Rina,” she muttered, watching Karina’s eyes sparkle with interest now.
“Woah, how did it even happen?” You asked, curious about the boy.
“He helped me with the essay—saw me in the library basically, so I had basic courtesy to invite him,” she looked proud as she said so.
“Damn, good luck then,” you nodded, attention back on the claw machine as your mind drifted to when he helped you—always wearing that easygoing smile, it’s no surprise that Giselle likes him. He helped everyone, it’s just how he is.
Karina lost the game again with a tantrum, a voice interrupting her that very second, but you smelled the scent first before you could register the presence.
Jake stood right behind you, jacket slung loosely over his shoulder, hair falling neatly on his forehead, rather wavy today. You straightened your back without meaning to. His friend stood beside him, he didn’t seem to be of your course, standing tall with a sharp jawline as everyone introduced each other with smiles on their faces. Karina didn’t seem to have any problem with the new addition, obviously emitted by yet another pretty face.
“Hey, I’m Jay,” he smiled, extending his hand towards you after doing the same with your friends.
“Okay, enough with the introductions,” Jake mumbled, cutting through as you only nodded at the man, “so you’re having problem with the plushies? Mind if I try? Lemme get one for all of you, yeah?”
Your friends were overjoyed at the offer.
Jake was ready, taking a deep breath as he swiped his card on the machine, faintly trying to inhale your scent where you stood earlier, and he was surprised at himself for being able to hold in so well, especially when you had your hair down, wearing a skirt that did nothing to hide your legs. Oh, it was torture, to have you so close yet so far, but rather happy at how you noticed his outfit without saying a word.
“Let’s see how you do then,” you challenged while Karina was busy making small talk with Jay, Giselle standing on the other side of Jake.
And his eyes sparkled when you said so, a smirk on his face as he started to play, as if he’d mastered the skills of doing so, grabbing the exact one Karina had aimed for before—a Snorlax. The claw picked it up with ease as your eyes widened, everyone now paid attention with a collective gasp, the machine humming louder as if aware it was being watched. The plush rose slowly, dangling just long enough to test your patience before dropping cleanly into the chute.
“No way,” Karina breathed, hands flying to her mouth.
“That’s for you,” he smiled, passing it over to Karina.
You watched it with a smile of your own—Jake swore it was the prettiest sight ever, and he made it his mission to do more, watching your nose scrunch when he missed another plushie, but the way you clapped with ease when he got one out, giving it to Giselle, who looked as if she was going to faint.
“Your turn,” he said lightly, eyeing you with such a gentle look before nodding at the controls, “which one would you like?”
He could sense the faint hesitation in your eyes, clear that no man had gotten you anything before your boyfriend, and he was here to change that, “uhm—that one maybe? The Eevee.”
“My favourite,” he chuckled, sliding the card again as his veiny hands moved, holding the joystick, and you found yourself staring without even realizing.
The claw descended slowly, metal arms gripping the plush awkwardly at first before tightening, and you held your breath as it lifted, swaying just enough to make your heart skip. Jake didn’t react, simply watching it with the same calm focus as before. It dropped cleanly into the chute.
“Oh,” you breathed, surprised, a soft laugh leaving you before you could stop it, “no way.”
Jake bent down to retrieve it, straightening again as he held it out to you, almost amused, “here you go,” he said, quiet enough that only you could hear it.
Your fingers brushed his as you took it, the contact was innocent, and you smiled at him without thinking, clutching the plush against yourself like it was something you’d won fair and square. He noticed that too, the way you held it close, the way your shoulders loosened just a little, as if the night had finally eased into something lighter, exactly the way he wanted.
He loved it, the way you said thank you, the way he saw you smiling freely at him, as if you had let your guard down even more, and he didn’t expect more than that, resorting to just giving you faint glances through the night, not getting too close because he’s well aware of how your presence affects him, one brush against you and he’ll be hard, he’d lose his composure, the persona he’d curated so well for you. So, he paid attention to everyone equally, but still guiding them to the racing machines, which he knew you’d love.
Digital footprint really helped, and you were the perfect example of it. The way you held the steering with precision, winning the game with ease even though all others tried their best to keep up. It was hot. So hot when you let go and do things you genuinely enjoy, the way you win. He’d let you do it all each day, he just needs you to look at him exactly how he looks at you—with the most insane mix of yearning and obsession, but you felt safe around him, he could feel that much.
The night slipped forward without anyone noticing when it did, folding itself into a blur of movement and sound as one game bled into another, tickets spilling like paper confetti at your feet, Karina cheering too loudly every time she won by accident, Giselle was now clinging to Jay’s arm as if she’d known him longer than a few hours, and he didn’t mind by any means.
Jake made sure to stay a step behind you then, letting you exist freely in the moment, letting the night do the work for him, because trust was never built by force but by comfort, by consistency, by being exactly what someone needed without asking for anything in return. When you looked back at him after winning yet again, eyes bright and proud, he smiled without thinking, the action sending a shiver up your spine, and you looked away, wondering what had happened.
Karina sighed with pure happiness, “okay I’ll just head to the washroom before we leave, come,” she started dragging you and Giselle along.
“How are you getting back home?” Jay asked, eyes on Giselle.
“We took a cab here because Karina didn’t wish to drive,” she said, eyes bright.
“We can drive you back home then, where do you live?”
You didn’t speak, it was clear how you didn’t trust the man enough to go with him, and to your absolute dismay, the girls lived closer to Jay’s place while you lived close to Jake, they asked you a few times if you were okay with that, which made you look at Jake—he was calm as usual, wearing the same look that would make anyone trust him, and from what you’d gathered, he wasn’t a bad man, besides you had your location on for your boyfriend.
With a nod, you girls went inside the washroom, handing over the plushies to the guys.
“You getting laid tonight?” Jake asked Jay, who chuckled, not saying much.
“Let’s keep all this in our cars first,” he said, segregating the amount of stuffed toys they had now, walking out into the parking lot, glad that they parked cars with a distance, “see you tomorrow then?”
Jake nodded, gathering all toys and getting inside, making them sit all neatly in the backseat, exactly how your potted plants sat at your window. Grabbing the Eevee, he decided that this would be the one, the one that’ll get him closer to you. The plush felt absurdly soft in his hands, warm in places where you’d held it earlier, the faint indentation of your fingers still there if he pressed hard enough.
Jake reached into the centre console and retrieved the device, small enough to disappear between his fingertips, engineered to be overlooked. He powered it on briefly, watching the faint blink confirm it was alive, listening for the near-silent hum that told him everything was functioning exactly as intended. He unzipped the seam along the back of the plush with ease, fingers steady, exactly like he practiced the night before. The stuffing parted without much resistance, polyester clouds yielding quietly as he created space. He didn’t disturb more than necessary, leaving no evidence behind.
He slipped the camera inside, angling it precisely to make sure it gave live recording from the tiny lens aligned with a natural seam so it looked like nothing more than a shadow in the stitching. He pressed the stuffing back into place carefully, redistributing it until the shape felt untouched. He tested the weight a few times before stitching the seam close just as he saw you coming out of the arcade.
He tucked the plush back among the others just as the doors slid open and the noise spilled out again, Karina was already laughing at something Jay said, Giselle half-distracted, phone in hand, fingers flying as she typed. “Text me when you’re home,” Karina said, squeezing you tight before Jay ushered her toward his car. Giselle repeated the same, waving as she climbed in the front seat, leaving soon after.
That left you and Jake standing there, the pavement damp beneath your shoes, neon reflections stretching like oil slicks between parked cars. He opened the passenger door for you without a word, waiting until you were seated before closing it gently, and you noticed how the car smelled clean, the scent of your favourite flower invading your senses, pulling you into a more pleasant spot as he pulled into the driveway.
This is exactly what Jake wanted—you, all comfortable around him, it didn’t take words to feel that, just the expression. His mind drifting to all the unrealistic possibilities that arose in the silence, even more so when he noticed you staring his way every few seconds, so he took time to play your favourite song, noticing the slight twitch of the corner of your lip.
“You like this band?” You asked.
Yes. Initiate conversation, be curious, like him more by each second, let him show that he’s tailor made for you.
“Yeah, it’s my favourite band,” he chuckled, “I see you like it too.”
“It’s my favourite as well! I’ve never met anyone who listens to them,” you said, more enthusiastic than ever, a clear sign that you were more interested in him now, easily discussing your favourite songs, but Jake wanted to brag a little more, switching the topic.
“Why? Don’t you discuss this with your boyfriend?” Jake asked in a tone that was simply innocent to you.
That’s when your smile turned back into the polite one, rather than the one you’d been giving him all night, “well, we take turns playing music if we listen together—never particularly discussed it in detail though, he just knows the bands because of me.”
“You’re cool, I’ve never discussed my music taste with anyone before,” he said to instill a sense of trust and comfort, “and I’ve never had anyone winning Asphalt against me.”
“Oh—please. You can’t ever beat me,” you said, full of confidence about the game you grew up playing, more of a muscle memory by now.
“Is that a challenge?” Jake smirked.
He loved challenges, it was simply an invitation to meet again, to show off what you’re best at, and he would love to see you hold that wheel again, imagining your pretty hands holding his throbbing cock for him instead.
You huffed a laugh, a melody to his ears, “I’ve been playing since I was a kid, that would be unfair to you.”
There it was again—that ease. The way you spoke when you forgot to filter yourself, something he noticed you did with your friends and now him. Jake felt it settle into him, threading through his ribs. He pictured you younger, the way he’d seen in the pictures, thumbs quick, winning without trying.
“Alright,” he said after a beat, “I’ll take my loss in advance then.”
That earned him another chuckle from you, and you genuinely felt like you had found a new friend that actually shared a few interests as you, it was a nice feeling, letting you be so deep in your thoughts that you completely missed out on Jake staring at your thighs.
The music faded into background as you talked about the video games you grew up playing, Jake mentioned he did the same, leaving a few games out that you mentioned to not seem extra suspicious about the topic. One similarity is normal, a few similarities? Coincidence. All similarities—that’s a dead giveaway.
The silence stretched for a minute, but you couldn’t contain your curiosity about someone you wanted to befriend. Jake was a genuine person, a kind soul with the want to help anyone. You couldn’t deny, he had all good qualities so far—maybe he did have some red flags, but you couldn’t spot any, not now.
The lack of conversation that followed wasn’t awkward, it was rather comfortable. The kind that invited you to listen to the engine, to the rain ticking faintly against the windscreen, to the way the city lights slid across Jake’s hands as he drove. You watched his profile for a second longer than you meant to, then looked away before it could feel like staring.
“You’re quiet,” you said, mostly teasing now, and that tone had Jake gripping the wheel tighter.
Jake chuckled under his breath, “only when I’m tired.”
“Fair,” you murmured, then you shifted in your seat, “can I ask you something?”
Anything. He could talk to you all night—talk you through it all night. He glanced at you briefly with the same warmth, “yeah. Go on.”
“Do you read?” you asked, trying to figure out if the version of him in your head matched the real one, “like, properly read. Not just uni stuff.”
Jake’s answer came smooth, almost immediate, “I do, mostly psychological stuff, or thrillers. Do you?” He asked, knowing exactly what your sweet voice was going to say.
“Oh I do! Have you read You by Caroline Kepnes? It’s about psychological obsession and—”
“—Stalking. Quite a fun read I must say,” he cuts you off, quite apt for the given situation. It almost felt like he outed himself with the way he so effortlessly admitted to it. It is fun, the way he knows about you, the way he’s the one making you smile, the way you belong to him, “what have you been reading?”
“Woah, I don’t think I should tell,” you stretched, not sure how it’ll be perceived by Jake.
“Hey! I won’t judge, what’s the worst it can be? Smut?” He chuckled.
“Well—yeah sort of similar. It’s called Bunny, sort of like a satire with hints of erotic literature,” you admitted, showing him a part of you not even your boyfriend knew about.
Jake knew it, he knows all about your media consumption, “would it make you feel better if I say i’ve read it too?”
“No way!” You laughed in amusement, “how even?”
“Found it on booktok,” he replied, the easiest way to make you believe it, “Couldn’t put it down no matter how uncomfortable it made me.”
“I swear, one of my friends read it and she said the same, but she was more uncomfortable than anything to enjoy it,” you shrugged, now facing him. Your skirt shifted up as you did so, but you didn’t care, ready to delve deeper into this newfound similarity, only to be disappointed when the car stopped.
You looked out to find it right outside your lane, exactly where Jake had walked with you when you carried groceries. Jake noticed the way your eyes moved around, taking in the fact that you didn’t actually wish to leave. He achieved exactly what he wished for, just didn’t expect it to be this quick.
“Ah—thank you for driving me home, tonight was fun,” you said and he swore he wouldn’t ever let any other guy drive you around if it meant that you’ll react this way to him, “and for this,” you pointed at the plushie in your hands, getting out of the car, but Jake was quick to stop that.
It was rather impulsive how his hand reached out for yours, fingers wrapping around your wrist with ease, making him bite his lip faintly at the feel of your soft skin, visibly giving you goosebumps as he did so.
“Wait,” he muttered, letting go of your hand with the remaining self control he had, grabbing the three more toys from the backseat, the ones you’d won and handing it to you, “don’t forget these.”
“Oh I almost forgot,” you said, thanking him again, “have a good night, Jake.”
You said his name, and he lost his ability to speak, simply staring at you go, even though you did find it odd when you didn’t get a reply. It was hard to see inside his car with his tinted windows, but the second he saw you turning around and looking back, he smirked. That’s it love, that’s all you had to do for him—crave him, look back as if you wish to stay, as if you didn’t have a boyfriend at home.
“Fuck,” he chuckled, “you’re so mine.”
He started driving again, grabbing the SD card from the car camera, checking his phone as soon as he got home to see the pretty view of your room. You’d kept the Eevee on your bed, perfect. He didn’t waste a second, getting the car recording, the one that showed your pretty thighs. Throwing his jacket away, he pulled his shirt up in a swift motion, taking his phone into the shower—letting the warm water cascade down his body, eyes fixated on how you shifted around in the seat, mind replaying your conversations, another shift of yours caused the skirt to ride up, his fingers wrapping around his hardened cock—it was almost painful, but he enjoyed every second of it.
With dark eyes, he stared at the clip, not caring about the burning water, the burn inside him was hotter as he stroked his length, sticking the phone on the wall, groaning loud as he hand rested beside the phone to support himself, “mine,” he said, jaw hung open, breathing hard around the warm mist that surrounded him, squeezing himself harder, “i’ll treat you so well, you’re mine, yeah? You know it, darling,” he continued, getting shocks of pleasure within minutes, making him chuckle like a madman. He was obsessed and there was no going back now.
It was time for the next step.
CHAPTER. 𝐕𝐈𝐈
The next five days were more than peaceful for you, even your boyfriend had decided to spare some time to take you out on a date, leaving every few minutes to take work calls—he’d been working on a big project. You understood him, of course you did, however, it did make you sigh before you put up a smile again when he returned.
Jake on the other hand, his inner turmoil was worse than ever. Yes, he got to see you moving in your room, he saw you dancing when no one was home, and how you couldn’t help but touch yourself with the pathetic little toy you owned, something that your boyfriend didn’t even know about. The view wasn’t the best, cutting halfway because of the position of the camera, but it was enough for his cock to leak all day.
He’d started journaling online, leaving traces on physical books would do him no good, especially when he wrote about the mole you had on your right thigh, the dates and colours of the nail polish you’ve been using, and how your absolute favourite pajamas did nothing to hide your body, which your boyfriend didn’t bother appreciating.
Jake wondered how he could just come home and sleep right beside you when you looked that good all the time. Pathetic. Your boyfriend was pathetic.
It was about time Jake showed you exactly how unreliable your childhood sweetheart was, grabbing his hoodie and heading out from a different route to your place. The act wasn’t thrilling with the lack of cameras around, but rather, he was buzzing with the confidence of getting another step closer to you.
The back door was the easy way in, especially when he’d done his research well, a hairpin being his way inside your temporary home, checking for cameras only to find none. Careless was going to cost this dude his girlfriend. No, you weren’t even his, you belonged to Jake the second he laid his eyes on you.
This trip was just to figure out the exact things you used, the type of food you consumed, and maybe leave a little gift before leaving. But most of all, going into your room and repositioning the plushie in a way that seems natural. It had been moved around a lot in the past few days, your room looked as if only you lived there, using the blue sheets—a colour you loved so much, the scent of you lingering around.
“I wanna kill him,” Jake confessed to the air, tone blank, “but it won’t be as fun as seeing you lose faith in him.” He kept a small device on the upper corner of the window—a speaker that he had specifically asked to be designed as small as possible, fitting into the crack of the old wooden frame with ease, the darkness inside concealing it.
He explored the bathroom, noticing the big mirror before he realized the presence of the laundry basket, your panties resting on the top, “ah,” he breathed out, grabbing it without even thinking, “fuck, you left it for me, right? You knew I was coming for you, hm? To smell you? Taste you?”
He holds it up, feeling the softness of the fabric on the tip of his nose, dragging the soft crotch of the fabric right under his nose, pressing it tight, inhaling again—deeper, groaning like he’d been possessed, “oh she was wet,” he moaned, tongue coming out to graze the soft cotton, lashes fluttering, “fucking sweet—so fucking sweet.”
He couldn’t stop, leaving a wet patch on it, “you want me to take you home, huh?” He talked, all dazed, “I want to, fuck—too risky,” he shook his head, forcing it back in the basket, the same way it was there, but not before leaving a sweet kiss on it, eyes glossy
He thought about it again—taking them with him. Stuffing them in his pocket, keeping them under his pillow at home, pulling them out at night when he needed to jerk off to the thought of your scent, your taste. He wanted to, so fucking badly. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror—lips parted, cheeks flushed, hair slightly damp from the heat of his own body. He looked wrecked in the best way possible.
When he saw the red dot on his phone moving, he knew it was time to leave, a string of curses leaving his mouth as he double checked for any evidence of his presence, leaving only when he was fully satisfied. He stopped by the neighbours house, taking out the little pamphlets he’d printed out before, slipping one in everyone’s mailbox before making his exit.
By the time you reached home, hand in hand with your boyfriend, you noticed your neighbour reading something. She was a sweet lady, always bringing you homemade pie simply because you helped her with her phone once, she looked bothered.
“Babe, you go ahead, i’ll talk to Mrs. Jones for a second, hm?” You smiled as he nodded, planting a simple kiss on your lips.
You reached her as your boyfriend disappeared behind the door, “are you alright, ma’am?”
She flashed you her beautiful smile once she saw you, “yeah, love. Just got this mail, talking about paranormal activity in the area,” she went ahead and showed you a video accessed through the QR code on the paper, “doesn’t it look real?” She was worried as she inquired.
Even you gulped as you saw it, the ghastly shadows on the window on the third house from yours. There wasn’t any clue about who captured it, simply this piece of paper, “I’m sure it’s some kid trying to mess around!” You said to calm her down, and well, calm yourself.
Your boyfriend brushed it off when you told him, repeating the exact same thing, but he was confident when he said so. You on the other hand, not so much. It was easy to cuddle him to sleep tonight, only then you could find comfort, he didn’t mind it at all—something that Jake did mind when he sat down, watching it on the big PC screen, a scoff leaving his mouth.
The glass shattered against the wall before he could even register the throw, shards catching the dim light like broken stars. Jake’s chest rose with a sharp breath as he stared at the dripping line of water trailing down the plaster. He had to wait, just a few more hours before he could start, and the thrill of it all didn’t allow him to sleep all night, he dragged a hand through his hair, fingers snagging and pulling until a few strands fell loose around his face, leaving him looking unkempt, nothing like the composed version of himself everyone else knew.
By the evening, Jake was functioning purely on five cups of coffee and eight cans of red bull. Finally calm when he saw you alone on the bed, rolling through your phone with lights dimmed—the perfect setup for him to start off his plan slowly. Jake clicked on a few controls, letting it unfold.
And it seemed to do the thing as the tiny speaker started buzzing, almost static at first. The faint hum blended with the low buzz of electricity, the distant rush of cars outside, the soft rustle of fabric when you shifted on the bed. You slowed your scrolling without really realizing why, eyes lingering on the screen as your brow creased slightly. Something felt off. You lifted your head, trying to follow the sound but nothing was out of place, everything exactly where you’d left it.
The voice boomed louder, making you breathe harder as you stood up, “you’re all alone,” the voice came out ghastly, loud but in a low whisper.
Your breath came uneven now, shallow and quick, your chest rising too fast as you turned slowly, scanning the room with wide eyes. The lamp still glowed, the door was still shut, the window reflected your own face back at you, eyes too bright, lips parted as you tried to steady yourself.
“Stop,” you whispered without thinking, your voice small and thin against the weight of the silence that followed. You took a step back, then another, your heel bumping into the bed frame as your fingers curled into the fabric of your sleeves like you could anchor yourself there, “who’s there?”
You bit your lip, rushing out of the room as the voice kept on repeating over and over, reaching the door handle to go outside, trying to call your boyfriend—who didn’t pick up the phone first two times, only to pick it up, hearing you borderline crying, “what’s wrong, babe? What happened?” He asked urgently.
“There’s—there’s someone, voice, inside—please come home,” you cried freely.
And he did, inspecting everything inside the room to find absolutely nothing, yet he knew he should calm you down, saying it would have been something on your mind—maybe a dream? Something your unconscious made up after watching that video. You denied it, and he agreed, only to make you feel better.
Jake clicked his tongue at the pathetic excuse of the boyfriend you had, but it was just the start of misunderstandings, and soon, Jake would be the one to bring you comfort, entrusting a sense of peace within you. How could he not? When your relationship looked so fragile and boring, that’s not what you deserved.
The next day at uni, your friends did agree with you to a certain extent, talking about how they’ve never experienced it before, but still being kind enough to listen to you.
“I swear I heard it,” you sighed, resting your head on the table.
“Lemme try googling it up,” Giselle said, only to find the actual paranormal activities that were widely known by the public, nothing specific to your address or the location.
“Damn,” Karina muttered, looking at you but genuinely believing your words when she saw your face.
It was only when it happened again, you lost your mind—your boyfriend simply asked you to go to your friend’s place or to the neighbour as he couldn’t come back home at that moment, and it was genuinely terrifying how the noise stopped the second you tried to record it. It made your heart hurt, as if your boyfriend didn’t care at all—he treated you like a kid running away from the monster under the bed, it truly didn’t help that the said noises never buzzed in his presence.
“Poor baby,” Jake muttered sitting in his car, waiting right outside the library. He looked better than ever, no traces of sleep deprivation and madness on his face now, not when he had to keep his act up, “nowhere to go now, hm? I’ll wait inside,” he muttered, getting out with that perfect smile of his, knowing that you wouldn’t want to be home alone, which leaves one perfect place for you to go—the library.
He sat down exactly where you could see him, and you did—the second you entered the library you noticed him, stopping in your tracks to ponder if you should even approach him, and Jake sensed that, faking and stopping the way he was working on something to look up, eyes shining when he found you, making it seem natural like the actor he was.
He waved at you, that being an invitation enough for you to walk to him, taking the spot next to him without much thinking, mind drifting back to the last conversation you had with him—that being the last time you felt happy and at peace without your close ones throwing Schizophrenic accusations your way, the worry evident on your beautiful face. Jake was the cause of it, and he hated that, but you were a good girl for him, right? You had to endure just a little more.
“You okay, love?” He encourages you to speak, watching you breathe harder, “you look bothered.”
Jake’s face displayed exactly the reaction you’d been wanting all this while—genuine concern, asking if you’re okay, not just brushing things under a rug. Your heart beat rose, thrumming against your ribs as you tried to nod, “you won’t believe even if I tell you.”
“C’mon, just try trusting me, hm?” He said with such an alluring voice, you found your lip trembling.
“I—I think my place, it’s haunted,” you started, observing his face, maybe expecting him to laugh or make fun of you. But he didn’t, he looked concerned, urging you to continue, “I keep hearing these noises, distorted but still.”
“That sounds serious, did you tell anyone about it?”
Of course you did, and he knows how they reacted, how they didn’t trust you even when you looked so beautiful crying and shaking in fear. He would never do that, he couldn’t.
“I did, but they think it’s just my imagination—but I swear I know what I heard,” you tried to explain yourself.
“I trust you—hey, calm down, okay? You’re safe,” he muttered gently, grabbing your hand that was shaking, and you let him, you allowed that comfort to seep in, nodding with your lips pressed.
“No one believes me,” you sighed, trying to maintain your composure, the heat of his hands helping you through it, especially when he looked at you like—he looks at everyone like that, your mind reminded you, but you didn’t care anymore.
“I can see you’re not making things up, you look like you haven’t slept in a while,” he noticed, and he wished he was the one to keep you awake and not that stupid noise, “it’s okay, you can talk about it anytime, hm?”
You nodded mindlessly, fingers curling around his so gently as if you’d given in, Jake pressed his legs together under the table, body hyper aware of you, your scent, your fear, trust, everything, “you’re so nice to me,” you spoke as if you were confessing, and it took everything in Jake to not moan.
“Hey, it’s nothing. If it happens again, you can text me, or call me. You have my number in the supervision group, right?”
“I do.”
“Good,” he said, and meant it in more ways than one, “even if you just need to talk. You don’t have to decide whether it’s serious enough first.” His gaze held yours, “if you’re scared, that’s reason enough.”
“Thank you, Jake—for not making me feel stupid,” you gulped, heat creeping up your neck.
“You’re not, and I wouldn’t do that to you,” he replied earnestly, leaning back first, “and if you don’t wanna spend your time at home, you can always meet up with your friends during the day, or just come find me at the library and we can talk about anything.”
You felt calm, at peace if you could call it, just simply better than whatever you were at home. Jake only made it better, taking over the conversation and asking you about movies, discussing a few of your favourites, making sure that he talks about a few that you haven’t watched yet. He saw it, the way the light of your eyes came back slowly, or how you laughed, trying to conceal it in the silence of the library. The only loud thing here was Jake’s heartbeat, and yours matched him soon.
He took a moment to stare, remembering the shade of the lipgloss—you’d gotten a new one with the same shade, undoubtedly it was your favourite one. How your legs faced him now, a clear indication that your entire focus was on him. It was hard, so insanely hard to not pull you between the lines of books and kiss you right there, to hear if your moans were as beautiful as your giggles. Even the scent of your lotion on his hands got him dizzy, almost as if he wished to bathe in it.
It was only when your phone rang you realized how late it was, and for the first time, you could feel the time passing as quick as Jake did. So many topics explored, so many conversations, which undoubtedly had Jake wanting to rush things, but couldn’t mess it up, not when he’d been working on it for so long. You excused yourself to pick up your mother’s call, and Jake sank into the chair, “fuck, oh fuck I love her,” he said it out loud.
Love? Jake had never been in love before, and he will never be in love ever again. As smoothly as he whispered it, making sure no one hears, as surprising it was, jaw clenching, a newfound glow on this face with the determination to make you his lover forever.
He was practically shining when you came back, and it was normal for you, because he always had that glow around him, “I should head back home, my boyfriend must be back.”
That’s it, the fucking boyfriend again, “sure, let me drive you back.”
“No—it’s okay, I can walk,” you replied, a small pout on your face.
“It’s alright, that’s what friends are for, right?”
Friend. Jake considered you a friend, and the label had you both happy and somehow, sad? But you took it, because you saw him that way too, not knowing how Jake was about to burst a vein at the statement.
“Okay then.” Giving him a carefree smile, you both gathered your things, walking out together.
Jake was on his best behaviour, opening the door for you, making sure to hide the receipt in the closed compartment of the center console. The same one he took from the bag when he helped you carry the bags home—simply to understand your usual routine, what juices you drank, what brand of pasta you used. Everything.
He loved it, spending every second of the day with you, that’s all the was for, right? Everyone comes to earth with a purpose, and you were his. The goodbye was painful, but it had to be done, because he expected a text tonight. He wasn’t going to reach out first, you were going to do it. Why? Because you trusted him.
“Wait a little more, darling. You’ll never be scared again,” he muttered, watching your figure walk away, and just like the last time, you turned around to look his way, this time it felt more natural, your body reacting before your mind, and his work for the night was done.
When you entered your place, your mood was back to being as dark as the home was—your boyfriend was nowhere to be found. You checked your phone, texting him as you switched on the lights, and his reply came a minute later.
boyfie: i’ll be home a lil late baby, js rest okay?
Okay, you typed back, then added a heart out of habit, even though the gesture felt a little hollow tonight. You tossed the phone onto the couch and stood there, keys still in your hand, listening to the quiet settle in around you.
You sat on the edge of the bed and exhaled, rubbing your palms over your thighs. Your body felt tired in that dull, end-of-day way, but your mind wouldn’t slow down. It kept circling back to the same thing, the same person, without you meaning it to. Jake.
You frowned slightly at yourself, annoyed, but the thought didn’t go away. His voice from earlier replayed in your head, the way he’d looked at you when you talked like what you were saying mattered. Like you mattered. It was embarrassing how much that had stuck with you. You reached for your phone again, telling yourself you were just checking time, you weren’t.
Every little sound, even the creak of your bed had you on high alert, and when you heard a little buzz, that’s when you knew you had to text someone. Jake was the first one on your mind, but despite that, you gave your friends a chance, well knowing Karina was at her family dinner and Giselle had gone back to her town for the weekend. They did send replies, but you didn’t feel at peace, as if you needed a solid conversation to break this fear.
You locked your phone, but grabbed it again, opening the group chat, checking the members, clicking on Jake’s contact—a picture of him filling up your screen. He was smiling, hair messy and wavy. He wasn’t wearing any glasses, eyes shining perfectly in the sunlight, “god,” you mumbled, shaking your head, opening the text message.
You: hey, it’s Y/N
Jake replied in two minutes, and you were grateful for it.
Jake: hey, is everything okay?
You: im sorry i didn’t mean to disturb
Jake: ofc not, love. what’s happening?
Your breath hitched the way he used nicknames so easily, and how you didn’t mind it by any means. Meanwhile Jake looked smug, sitting up on his bed, and how could he not? You missed him, you were thinking of him, it hadn’t even been long since you got home and yet—you reached out to him first, exactly how you’d come running to him after breaking up with your boyfriend.
You: my bf isn’t home yet, the silence is scary
Jake: do you wanna talk?
You: if you’re okay w it?
Now, you didn’t expect him to call you, you simply expected a text conversation. Your phone started ringing before you could even finish forming the thought, the screen lighting up with his name. You froze for half a second, staring at it like it might disappear if you didn’t react fast enough. You swallowed and glanced around the room, suddenly aware of how quiet it was again, how the walls seemed to listen, and so, you answered.
“Hey,” you said softly, your voice sounding smaller than you meant it to.
“Hey,” Jake replied, just as quietly, like he’d instinctively matched your tone, “I hope this is okay. You don’t have to stay on if you don’t want to.”
“No—no, it’s fine,” you said quickly, shifting on the bed and pulling your legs closer to you, “I just—didn’t expect it.”
He huffed out a faint laugh on the other end, “yeah, sorry. I figured it might be easier than typing if you’re already on edge.”
Oh Jake loved it, the sound of your voice giving in, opening up to him, telling him exactly what’s going on as if he wasn’t watching you smile at the little things he said. He stopped breathing the second you rolled on your stomach, picking up the Eevee plushie, as if staring right at him, caressing the toy mindlessly as the conversation flowed.
“Do you ever make up conversations in your head before it happens?” You ask, not knowing why you did, maybe because you thought about it while texting Jake.
He chuckled, the sweetness of your voice making him shove his free hand down his sweatpants, “isn’t that normal though?”
“Right? I just feel like I overthink so much,” you sighed, completely missing out on the tiny groan that came from his side, cock hard and leaking, “even when I don’t like how a book is written, I usually think about what it could have been.”
“You should write,” Jake managed to speak midway through his session, “I think you’ll do well.”
“I do actually,” you mumbled, revealing a part of yourself that no one apart from your boyfriend knows, “it’s under works, not good enough to be published as a book, but maybe someday I can publish my poetry.”
Now, this is something Jake did not know, he couldn’t find it linked anywhere, not a single mention of it, but oh he loved it. Would you write poems for him too once you realize that he’s the one you love? Would you give in and turn him into an immortal piece of art? Because he would, he would do it all for you.
“Fuck—that’s crazy,” he said, covering up yet another groan, hips thrusting up to meet his fisted hand, and you were just there, not knowing what he was up to, “you’re so talented, I can’t believe you don’t talk about it.”
You smiled, it felt nice being appreciated, as for him? He could praise you forever. He wasn’t this weak before, his body was completely and utterly yours now, the way he carried the conversation before you took over, chatting freely, ignoring the warmth it brought you, it was too much for him, enough that he had to push the phone away to let out a silent groan, making a mess over his pants.
God, he loved you—he loves you. He’s in love with you, every bit of you, and he wants to know more, your voice is the sweetest he’s ever heard, not even songs could bring him this pleasure, and so he recorded the whole call, every second of your laugh. All before you felt so comfortable, you fell asleep on the call.
He lay there, phone still pressed to his ear, eyes half-lidded, chest rising and falling under the thin fabric of his shirt, still wrecked, still shaking slightly from the mess he’d made minutes earlier, not having it in him to end the call, not when he could hear the faint sound of your breath, not when he could watch you sleep so peacefully, and fuck you looked pretty even sleeping. Jake closed his eyes, dragging a shaky hand over his face, smearing his own warmth across his skin, biting down a groan that still tried to fight its way out of him.
“Can’t believe you’re real,” he whispered, to no one, to you, to the dark, “can’t believe I get to hear you like this.”
He put the phone beside him, only ending the call when he noticed the presence of another man entering the room, it should have been Jake. Throwing his phone away, he breathed hard, then he laughed. It started low in his chest, strained and breathless at first, until it clawed its way up, breaking past his throat in a sound so raw it startled even him. The kind of laugh that came from deep inside, borderline hysterical, He curled forward slightly, shoulders trembling as he pressed the back of his wrist to his mouth, but it wouldn’t stop.
“You trust me,” he gasped out between broken chuckles, eyes wide, almost glassy, “you trust me, baby. You fell asleep on me, fuck.”
His voice cracked on the last word. A quiet, shuddering breath followed, and he let his head drop back to the pillow, lids fluttering shut. His body still felt wrecked, but all he could feel was the rush. You trusted him—without even knowing half of what he was. Without knowing what he did with your voice echoing in his ear. Without knowing how much of you he kept with him.
“No one else gets that,” he whispered, voice rasped raw, “he doesn’t get that. He doesn’t know what you sound like when your voice gets tired at the edges. He doesn’t know how you hum without meaning to. He doesn’t know shit.”
He grabbed the lipgloss from the bedside table—your lipgloss, the one you used each day without a fail. Jake had picked it up now, rolling it between his fingers, studying the faint wear on the tube. He twisted it open, leaning back against the pillows, drawing one knee up slightly as he dragged the wand across his thigh in a smooth stroke. Jake stared at it, lips parted, watching the way the sheen clung to his skin, sticky and perfect.
He traced it with his fingertips, smudging it over the place as if you’d kissed him there yourself, bringing his hand up to apply the same on his plump lips, messy and wet, “that’s how I wanna be, ruined for you,” he whispered, gathering more, around to smudge it over the tip of his cock, smirking, “looks perfect on me, baby. Perfect,” he kept on mumbling, drifting into sleep with you in his mind.
Only you.
CHAPTER. 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈
“Where the fuck have you been?” Sunghoon’s voice boomed just as Jake let him in, the door swinging back a little too fast from his palm. Jake didn’t flinch, not bothering to answer immediately, just turned and walked toward the balcony like he hadn’t just spent the entire night dreaming about you. Jay followed right after, clicking the door shut.
Jake didn’t acknowledge either of them. He slid the glass door open and stepped out barefoot, the concrete still warm from the day’s sun. A small pot sat in the far corner, centered between two older plants that hadn’t seen water in weeks. He crouched slowly, fingers brushing the edge of the ceramic like it meant everything to him.
Sansevieria—the plant which gives oxygen both day and night. Jake had read that line three times in the nursery aisle that he’d bothered to visit earlier in the morning.
“Can you reply at least? You just go to lectures and leave before we can even catch up,” Jay went on.
“I’ve been busy,” Jake replied, inspecting the upright leaves, checking the soil next, completely ignoring the other two plants.
“Busy? Doing what?” Sunghoon said, pissed as Jay googled the plant.
“Assignments and shit man, you know the professors throw around work, especially to me,” he lied smoothly. Jake never wasted too much time on it, he was smart enough to complete everything beforehand, rather than leaving it to the last minute.
“Of course you’d get something that survives on nothing,” Jay muttered from behind him, leaning against the doorframe, “you don’t even water the others.”
“Oh shut it, this one’s different,” he murmured, thumb brushing over a leaf with such care it almost looked like he was touching skin, “It doesn’t just survive, it helps you breathe.”
Jay glanced at Sunghoon, but didn’t say anything. Neither of them could read him when he got like this, clearly unimpressed with the expressions on their faces. Jake stood slowly, wiping his hand on his thigh, ignoring the dirt streak it left behind. His gaze lingered on the pot for a moment longer—on the smudged black marker under it, your name hidden where no one could see. He imagined you standing on this balcony, bare feet against the concrete, your skin soft in the morning sun. Maybe you’d crouch the same way, tilt the pot in your hand, smile at how healthy the leaves looked.
You hadn’t texted him in the morning, which was okay since plants needed time to grow, and so did trust.
Jay sighed, “you’re down bad.”
“What?” Jake whipped his head, staring at Jay now. He wouldn’t deny it, but how does he even know? What does he know about his love, about you?
“I saw it—at the arcade. And you drove her back home. Isn’t she the one you like?” Jay asked normally, and Jake’s heart fluttered.
“We’re friends,” he said despite hating the word, “I wouldn’t do shit when she’s got a boyfriend, she trusts me.”
“Okay, fair,” Sunghoon muttered, as Jake closed the balcony door behind him, “at least play Valo with us tonight, you’ve been giving excuses all week.”
“Then here’s another one—”
The boys groaned, “what now?”
“I have to run to the library, so if I get back on time i’ll log in, deal? Otherwise I’ll just join tomorrow, I’m free.”
They stared at him for a few seconds, making him groan in disgust, “just say yes, what the fuck?”
“You better not cancel,” Sunghoon warns before letting Jake breathe again.
That wasn’t important, you came first, which is why he was quick to dress up a bit better, grabbing the essentials, making sure Jay and Hoon had left before he made his way out, giving the plant one last look, “oh she’s gonna come again,” he mumbled with a smirk.
He sat down there, on the same spot as yesterday, grabbing his phone to check your red dot, moving straight to him. He looked lovesick, heart beating fast as he proceeded how easy it was to be in love, how you reciprocated the said feeling without even knowing it.
You couldn’t reply to Jake, not after you fell asleep on the call—gosh, that was embarrassing. But that didn’t stop you from seeking comfort. The second you heard the faint buzzing again, you got ready to head to the library in hopes of finding silence, and if possible, Jake. And maybe that was the real reason, which you tried your best to deny. By the time you reached the library, your heart was already racing.
You stepped through the doors, greeted by the familiar scent of books. And there he was, exactly where you’d seen him yesterday, a faint smile on his face as he felt you enter, not looking up just yet, not till you reach him yourself, and you did, standing right beside him, your shadow stretching across the table, making Jake lift his head.
He took your name with a smile, making you mirror his expression, sitting down next to him, legs brushing faintly.
“I’m sorry, I fell asleep last night,” you apologized, looking elsewhere.
Jake found it adorable, as if he didn’t wish for it to happen each night, if only you’d sleep with him, next to him. Jake shook his head gently, his smile softening in a way you couldn’t quite place—tender perhaps?
“Don’t be, I’m glad you felt comfy enough to do so.”
When you paused, face heating up, Jake only smiled and continued to speak again, “so, what’s the plan for today? Any assignments to work on?”
You shook your head, “I did them already, just wanted to come out to feel better I guess?”
“Yeah?” Jake asked, eyes bright.
“Yeah,” you gave him a little nod.
“So—do you wanna get out of here?” He asked, and for the first time, he didn’t feel as confident about himself, knowing well he was crossing a line wording it that way. But he knew he had to, it was a requirement before he went ahead with the final step.
You glanced at him, unsure what to say at first. The library had always felt like neutral ground, it was easy to share space without crossing into anything that felt like more. But this—stepping outside that invisible line, choosing to be somewhere with him just to be with him—it felt different.
You let out a shaky breath, “where would we even go?”
And that question was music to Jake’s ears. You were willing to go out with him? Oh that’s beautiful, you see how much he loves you? How he’s staring at you like he’ll actually go to space and collect pretty stars just so you could have them? It’s perfect, just two lovers going out on their first date.
He smirked, simply grabbing your bag which you put down, carrying it with him as he started walking, the gesture too bold for you as you stared. You shook your head and caught up to him, walking side by side, leaving the library now.
“You’re not gonna tell me where we’re going?” you asked, watching the way the breeze ruffled his hair. He was wearing a grey hoodie today, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, veins faint beneath the skin of his forearms as he held your bag without complaint.
Jake glanced at you, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, “not yet,” he said, “you’ll like it though. Promise.”
“Let’s see,” you challenged, completely ignoring the notification you got—a text from your boyfriend, which was surprising, but the moment with Jake felt more important to you now.
It wasn’t a long walk, but you were concerned when the area blended into an unfamiliar one. The sun had softened to its late-afternoon hue, golden and gentle, casting long shadows as you followed him through a narrower street just off the main road. It was a path you hadn’t taken before, tucked between cafés and residential flats, with cracked sidewalks and ivy trailing over low walls. Jake turned without warning into a tiny alley, and you paused at the entrance.
“Are you kidnapping me?” you asked dryly.
He laughed over his shoulder, only if he could, “you’d be lucky.”
Rolling your eyes, you followed, and then he stopped, hand resting on the frame of an old wooden door tucked into the corner of a quiet building. There was a faded sign above the glass: Moonstar Books. A bell chimed softly as he pushed the door open.
It was dim and smelled like old paper and lavender, the scent that instantly made you breathe deeper. The store was narrow but deep, with tall shelves and crooked aisles, handwritten category signs, and vintage postcards pinned to a corkboard near the register. The woman behind the counter gave Jake a lazy wave, barely looking up from her book, which made you chuckle.
“You like books, so this one’s on me,” Jake said, gesturing to you to check out the aisles, and you didn’t even bother to argue, too in awe to do so, not even noticing Jake clicking your picture—perhaps the prettiest one. People say the camera captures you best when it’s held by someone who sees you through the eyes of love, Jake was the prime example for the same.
“I love it here,” you squealed, as Jake paid for the three books you picked out with much thinking, highly aware of how Jake followed you, grabbing the books on the taller shelves, practically caging you in his arms—in his scent, the one you’d grown to find comfort in.
You let out a shaky breath, as he stared down, passing the book to you. You turned your head at the same time he looked down. Close—too fucking close—his breath hit your cheek as your fingertips met in that small, unspoken exchange, the warmth of him passing on to you. And for the longest second, you didn’t move, didn’t stop staring at the pretty man in front of you, the back of your mind reminding you of the boyfriend you have—and the thought was thrown away the second he smiled, sweet and pure as honey.
The faint music played in the background, pretty apt for the situation. I wanna be yours by Arctic Monkeys. You’d seen such scenes with the amount of rom-coms you consumed, the books you read, and the authors didn’t lie when they described the feeling of it all happening in real time. Your face was warm, lips parted, like your body forgot how to hide feelings. You looked up, and Jake was already watching you, like he was memorizing this—every inch of you under this soft light, in this narrow aisle, with your back pressed against shelves of paperbacks and your breath catching in your throat.
“Come,” he mumbled, breaking the silence you two held as he paid for the books, then guiding you upstairs. You didn’t even know there was more to the bookstore, but Jake never failed to surprise you.
Jake didn’t say much as he led you up the narrow staircase tucked between two tall bookshelves. The steps creaked softly under your feet, wood worn smooth by time, and the scent of old paper followed you all the way up. You could still hear the soft music filtering through the floors as you stepped out onto the terrace. The space was small but beautiful, almost dreamlike. String lights hung overhead in uneven lines, swaying gently in the breeze, casting everything in a honey-washed hue that made the world look slowed down, dulled at the edges like a hazy lil photograph.
Potted plants framed the corners, and right in the center sat a small wooden table, surrounded by mismatched chairs that didn’t look like they belonged together—yet somehow, they did. A stack of forgotten poetry books rested at the edge, pages curling in the wind. Jake walked ahead and placed your bag on one of the chairs, glancing back to make sure you were still with him.
“Pretty, right?” He asked, “I come here when I feel like breathing, genuinely just breathing,” he lied smoothly, he’d been here twice to make sure the place was good, funding it enough to make this happen, restoring the beauty just for you, just for the smile that you gave him so freely now.
The chair creaked softly beneath you as you sat, and Jake mirrored your movement, choosing the seat across from you but turning it slightly, angling it closer, like he couldn’t bear the distance.
“It’s really peaceful,” you said, your voice quieter now, “feels like something out of a movie.”
You felt like something out of a movie, polished to perfection without any filters or colour grading—you didn’t need anything. To Jake, you were his favourite movie, the one he’d rewatch each day without a question, and still he’d find something new, like the little mole on your ear. It was so small, barely visible, but he stared at you with such a need to fit everything into his memory, leaving such an important detail was simply out of question.
He got up, walking to the vending machine tucked beside the terrace door, the glow of it buzzing softly in the quiet. He didn’t ask you what you wanted. He already knew, but grabbed a few more things to seem less suspicious about it.
“I’ll pay you back—”
“You don’t have to,” Jake replied in a beat, opening the can of red bull and taking in a sip.
“You know—I don’t get why you don’t have a girlfriend,” you pry, sipping on your juice, wondering if he had any—wait, did he? You never asked, just assumed, but why would he be here with you if he had someone.
The same way you’re out with him despite having a boyfriend, your inner voice reminded you, and it was unsettling, but you didn’t wish to focus on him, not when he wasn’t ever present when you needed him.
“I don’t know, just never met someone I can actually be with before,” he confessed, knowing well that you were the only one he wanted to be with, wanted to die with.
“That’s odd,” you started, “y’know, on our first day—orientation day. Karina told us that you have this reputation of a fuckboy,” you confessed.
Jake lost composure at that, eyes widening. Did you know? Did you actually think of him that way? No, no, no. Karina should’ve kept her mouth shut, this was bad, you couldn’t know.
“Woah, that’s an insane rumour,” Jake looked confused, a display of how great of an actor he was.
“So you don’t sleep around?” You asked.
Oh you were so curious, talking about sex with Jake now? He didn’t mind at all, “Okay I admit I’m not a virgin, but I don’t sleep around either,” he replied, eyes on you, specs sitting perfectly on his nose.
You nodded, disappointed for absolutely no reason, and he could see it, he could make it out so clearly, getting the exact reaction he was aiming for. Then he decided to change the topic, urging you to stare at the sky, which looked as pretty as a colour palette.
“Wait, I just realized. You know where I live—” you started and Jake paused, panicking within, “—but I don’t know where you live.”
“Oh,” he sighed softly, calming down again, grabbing a quote book as he joined you by the railing, watching the sunset, “just walk five minutes further on the street, you’ll see this big building named Orion, I’m on the penthouse floor,” Jake said, giving out his whole address, knowing you’ll use it soon.
“Woah, you just gave me the address, not scared? What if I stalk you?” You chuckled, and Jake found it way more interesting than you did.
“I’d like to see you try,” he challenged, leaning in, handing you the book in his hands, “wanna read a quote each? Take turns?” He asked, making your heart flutter again.
Under the amber veil of the setting sun, you took the book from his hands. It was soft with age, the cover cracked at the spine and the edges curled in, like it had been loved quietly for years. Your fingers brushed his as you held it.
“Alright,” you said, and your voice sounded strange to your own ears, so gentle and sweet.
Flipping the pages, you settled on the one you genuinely loved, as if it resonated with you the most, “whatever our souls are made of,” you read, “his and mine are the same.”
The page was no longer a page, it was the confession you’d never dare speak aloud, the line between fiction and the undeniable reality, and you didn’t realize until after you’d said it that you weren’t just reading it—you meant it. When you glanced up, Jake was already watching you, like he’d been holding his breath the whole time. But still, he said nothing—until he took the book from you, eyes full of the feeling named yearning.
His thumb paused at a page, “I loved her against reason,” he said, “against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness.”
Your breath hitched as the wind tugged gently at your clothes, the lights above swayed, but neither of you moved, and that’s when you knew—everything had changed.
The evening air had turned cooler, brushing against your skin like a gentle reminder that the day was over as you went inside your home—but your mind didn’t feel finished. The sky above you was streaked in pink and grey, a beautiful kind of mess, not unlike the thoughts circling in your head—Jake. His words, those quotes. That look in his eyes like he’d waited lifetimes just to sit across from you like that.
He had done no wrong, always been so respectful and kind, never once touching you or invading your space in a way that would make you uncomfortable. But it didn’t take a genius to realize how emotionally attached you were to him already, feeling bad for your boyfriend. You shut the door behind you, the familiar click echoing louder than it should have, and leaned your weight into it for a second. Your chest felt tight, not from guilt exactly, but from the confusion that sat heavy beneath it.
“Where have you been?” your boyfriend’s voice cut through the space, “I’ve been so worried, you didn’t even reply to the texts!”
“I didn’t see them, I was at the library,” you replied too quickly, and you hated how easy the lie came. But even if you had seen them—what would you have said? That you were sitting on a sun-washed terrace with Jake, talking about quotes and oxygen and stars?
“You could’ve at least called. It’s not like I’ve been sleeping well with everything going on.”
That stung, and you didn’t even know why. Maybe because you had been spiraling for days, and not once had he said that to your face. Maybe because the version of him who said that now sounded more inconvenienced than concerned.
“I didn’t mean to worry you,” you offered, but your voice came out flat. You weren’t sure which part of you was tired anymore—the physical, the mental, or the emotional. All of it?
“Is something wrong, babe?” He asked, walking up to you now, completely ignoring how you’ve been telling him what was wrong—the noises, his absence, the distrust, everything.
“Just, you haven’t been here,” you said, hoping to find the same comfort, but he took it as a complaint.
“You know I’m working hard for us,” he sighed, almost annoyed, and you swore this wasn’t the man you fell in love with a few years back. Maybe he had a point, but what’s the actual point of a relationship where there’s no comfort? No time?
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” you replied, letting him win as he pulled you in a hug.
A hug without warmth.
CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐗
Jake leaned against the back wall of the corner pharmacy, hood up, sunglasses low on his nose as he watched your boyfriend step outside across the street. Same jacket, same casual gait, scrolling through his phone like every other day. Jake knew his break schedule down to the minute now. Two days had passed, lectures had started, and yet, Jake was suffering withdrawals of you, your love, your smile. He had to do something, a final gesture to make you run to him.
His fingers toyed with the edge of his sleeve, heart pacing steady. He didn’t need to follow far, just until the path curved behind the building, just until no one else was watching. Jake’s shoes moved quietly behind him, and right then, he rushed, jabbing his hand on the neck, on the Vagus nerve of your boyfriend, causing him to drop down on the street instantly, fainting but he didn’t even register that it came from someone else.
Jake chuckled, dragging him into the alleyway, pulling out the needle from his bag, not bothering to sterilize the skin before he pierced through it, gathering your boyfriend’s blood in a vacutainer, just enough for his plan to work. It was that easy, Jake loved how meticulously he carried out everything, rushing away after cleaning the evidence of blood on the boyfriend’s arm, almost like a mosquito bit him.
He rushed out, running a bit farther, gathering the attention of an old lady, who barely registered Jake’s face and built, “hello!” He said, changing his voice entirely, “a man just fainted there,” he pointed it out, “I can’t help i’m running late, can you please check up on him?”
With that, he rushed away. See? He was a good man, never harming anyone, not until he had to, even if he wanted to drain every drop of blood in him, he didn’t. He ran, getting into his car and driving away without any trace, laughing louder than ever, enough for his veins to be visible on his neck.
He didn’t have much time, not when you were going to come back home. He parked his car farther away, mumbling your name on repeat like a mantra as successfully reached the back door of your house—which won’t be yours after tonight. Jake felt dizzy, as if his blood was taken away, but it was simply the thrill of making art, the kind of art you’d enjoy, or would you?
“Y/N,” he groaned, “come to me soon, baby. I can’t wait anymore, just come to me, okay?” He laughed quietly after that, dragging a hand through his hair, pacing in a tight circle, every thought looping back to you no matter how hard he tried to think of anything else. Your smile on the terrace. The way your voice softened when you felt safe.
“You don’t even know how close you are,” he murmured, eyes unfocused now, staring at nothing, “how everything’s already done. You don’t have to be scared anymore. I fixed it. I fixed everything.”
His hands shook, not with doubt, but with emotion—too much feeling crammed into one moment. Love, possession, devotion, all blurring together until there was no separating them anymore. In his mind, they had always been the same thing anyway. Jake leaned his forehead against the cool surface nearby, eyes squeezed shut, smiling through clenched teeth, forcing himself out of the house, and into hiding closeby.
You reached home after a few minutes, body tired with the amount of lectures you had to attend today, and the absence of Jake—that fucked you over the most. You did run into him at the Uni hallway earlier, he was busy with his duties but stopped by to greet you, and you appreciated it, but you didn’t appreciate Giselle trying to flirt with him—oh you were messed up.
But nothing could have prepared you for what came next. Your loud scream tore through the air, your heart slammed violently against your ribs, breath catching so sharply it hurt.
You’re alone baby, no one can save you.
It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be, right? Maybe everyone’s right and you’re dreaming, or maybe you’re schizophrenic, because there’s absolutely no way your bathroom mirror is covered with blood. The silence was unbearable, unsettling, but you couldn’t move, body paused as your eyes drifted, reading each word again, and again. Tears streamed down your face, begging yourself to run out, but your legs were too weak to do so. Every instinct in your body screamed to run, but your muscles had locked up, useless against the overwhelming dread that had settled into your bones.
You tried taking deep breaths, and it helped a little as you forced yourself to crawl out, grabbing your phone with shaking hands, rushing out of the house as best as you can, calling the first person on your speed dial—your boyfriend, who was finally kind enough to pick up your call.
“I’m busy—” he started, pausing once he heard your voice, the way you cried out so freely, so loud, he stood up from his desk, “what’s wrong?”
It was no surprise that your boyfriend was okay, being fully convinced he fainted on the street because of someone running into him, slamming him on the wall. He was so embarrassed he did not bother telling anyone about it, especially when an old lady was the one who helped him. He was a fool, this is why Jake wanted him gone from your life.
“Th—there’s b—blood,” you wailed, “please—come back.”
“What? Okay just stay with Mrs. Jones, I’ll be back soon, yeah?” He reassured you as you stood up weakly, walking to the house next door, scaring the poor woman who was too afraid to actually go and check if you’d been lying or not, simply taking you in and offering water. She seemed as shaken as you did.
Jake appeared from the back door again, “I’m sorry, baby, you know I did this for us, right?” He smiled, looking beautiful even in madness, cleaning up the bathroom mirror with white vinegar solution, leaving no marks behind, letting it dry with fondness on his face as he sprayed the bathroom fragrance you kept right there. And just like that, there wasn’t a single trace of blood left, just pure fondness on Jake’s face as he mumbled to himself, getting out of the place he won’t ever be visiting again.
You were glad your boyfriend was listening to you, so glad he was coming back home, maybe he’d finally believe you, if not then Jake would. The poor lady could only do so much, getting you a warm cup of tea. You didn’t bother rushing to the door when the doorbell rang, you didn’t hug your boyfriend, who looked as if he ran all the way back to home, and you couldn’t, not till you prove yourself right.
He thanked Mrs. Jones, helping your shaking self out of the home, to finally go and investigate what you’d been crying about. It felt real for once, the way you looked horrified, not even able to string together a full sentence. You couldn’t lie like this, not with the way your hands trembled in his grip, the way your wide, pleading eyes begged—please, believe me.
Your boyfriend stayed quiet as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, head tilted slightly like he was already in disbelief about this whole situation, about having to do this at all. You followed behind slowly, keeping close to the wall, as if the house itself might shift and trap you in again. He made a direct path to the bathroom, and your nails dug into your palms as he pushed the door open, flicking the lights on.
The tiles gleamed, the mirror spotless. No sign of anything being wrong. No dirt, no mess, no handprint on the wall like you’d sworn was there. It was pristine, oh it was sterile, like it hadn’t even been used. He turned back toward you slowly, a deep exhale leaving his chest as he stepped out, arms folded.
“Seriously?” he said, voice sharp, “this is what you were freaking out over?”
You stepped inside, hands flat on the mirror. It couldn’t be, you were not lying about this, you know exactly what you’d seen, and it made you angry, the way you were being embarrassed again and again, and even your so-called boyfriend didn’t believe you.
“No,” you said, voice rising, breaking, “no, this is bullshit. I’m not making this up—I know exactly what I saw.”
He scoffed behind you, “you think you know. That’s the problem, you’re always so sure, and then there’s nothing. Ever.”
You spun around, anger finally snapping through, “don’t you dare talk to me like that. Don’t you fucking dare.”
He stepped closer, voice raised now too, irritation spilling over, “then explain it to me! What the fuck is happening, huh? Are you doing this for attention?”
“For attention?” you repeated, “are you actually fucking serious right now?”
He didn’t back down. If anything, he looked more frustrated, hands thrown out in anger, “then what am I supposed to think? You’re always shaking, crying, dragging our neighbour into it, and there’s nothing here. Nothing. No fucking proof. No sign. What else am I meant to assume?”
“That I’m scared,” you shouted, stepping toward him, “that I was terrified in my own house—that I needed you.”
“I am here now,” he retorted.
“Too late,” you snapped, “you’re always here after everything’s already fallen apart.”
He laughed, disbelieving, the sound slicing straight through you, “you’re acting like I abandoned you. I was literally at work, did you even know I fucking fainted? That I was attacked? I’ve been so overworked. I can’t just drop everything every time you spiral.”
“I wasn’t spiraling,” you yelled, tears finally spilling over, completely ignoring the part where he told you that he was attacked, because if he didn’t trust you, why would you trust him?
“Well, I can’t help you if you keep making shit up!” He shouted back.
Your chest tightened, breath coming faster now, hands shaking at your sides, “I did not make it up, and the fact that you think I would—that I’d lie about something like this—tells me everything I need to know.”
“So now I’m the bad guy?”
“Yes,” you said immediately, voice loud despite the tears, “you are, because instead of standing next to me, you’re standing here interrogating me like I’m the problem here.”
He stared at you, jaw tight, “you’re unbelievable.”
“No,” you said, stepping back, putting distance between you, “what’s unbelievable is how small you make me feel when I’m already scared. How you’d rather call me insane or schizophrenic than admit you don’t know how to show up for me.”
You swallowed, wiping at your cheeks, voice shaking but resolute. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be with someone who treats me like I’m crazy.”
His eyes widened, scoff leaving his mouth, “you’re breaking up with me? Over this?”
“I’m breaking up with you because you don’t believe me,” you said firmly, “because you don’t listen. Because when I needed you the most, you chose annoyance over empathy, I cannot believe I even fell in love with someone like you.”
With that, you started walking away, chest hurting more with each step you took, ears not picking up the way he screamed behind you. There was no other thought in your mind as you walked ahead, you had no one to go to, no one but Jake.
Meanwhile, he was showering with a smirk, watching the whole argument unfold on the screen. Soon, he sat down on the couch with just his sweatpants on, hair damp and curling slightly at the ends. The glow from his monitor cast soft light over the living room, muted tones flickering across his face as he leaned back, wet hair clinging to his temples. He looked calm as he rewatched the footage, fingers tapping slowly against his thigh.
“She’s coming,” Jake smiled to himself, “all mine now.”
Downstairs, the front desk guard stood up a little straighter as he saw someone approaching the entrance—someone Jake had told him about in advance. You looked shaken, your eyes rimmed red, your breathing uneven, and your voice just barely held together as you said his name.
“Uh—I’m here to see Jake Sim,” you whispered, so glad he had given you his address.
The guard nodded immediately, not even asking for confirmation. He slid a visitor card across the desk toward you, the one Jake had pre-arranged a day ago, “please take the elevator, penthouse floor.”
Your fingers closed around the pass, your hands cold. The ride up in the elevator was quiet, too quiet. You could hear your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, your fingers trembling around the card, your throat dry. It was crazy. All of it. But Jake—Jake always made you feel safe, he never judged, he never looked at you like you were broken. Jake sat perfectly still as he heard the ding of the elevator chime through the penthouse hallway. He didn’t even reach for a shirt, simply just waited, elbows resting on his knees, gaze focused ahead, chest rising slowly.
You rang the doorbell, and Jake let you wait for just a few seconds, enough for the anticipation to bloom before opening the door. You stood in the doorway like you’d been hollowed out, shoulders curled inward, tears streaking your cheeks without restraint. Your lips trembled as if you were trying to hold yourself together and failing. You looked small in a way that twisted something deep inside him—so fucking beautiful.
Jake’s heart kicked hard against his ribs. God—there it was. The sight of you like this, undone and honest, coming to him when the world had failed you. He wanted to frame the moment, burn it into his memory forever. This was trust in its rawest form.
“Hey—” he said softly, carefully shaping his face into surprise, concern knitting his brows as he stepped closer, whispering your name, “what happened? Gosh—are you okay?”
Your bottom lip trembled as you stepped forward, and he opened his arms just in time to catch you. You pressed your face into his bare chest like it was instinct, like your body knew where to go before your mind could catch up, you didn’t care about the lack of clothes, you just needed him, exactly how he needed you.
Jake exhaled shakily, one arm wrapping fully around your back, the other lifting to cradle the back of your head. You were clinging to him—clinging like he was the only thing keeping you upright, and maybe he was. He held you like that, warm skin against your cheek, the soft rhythm of his heartbeat thudding steadily beneath you.
His hand moved in slow circles against your spine, you couldn’t even register how he was sniffing your scent, smirking when you couldn’t see. You came to him, you finally understood who you belong to. You know that Jake is gonna keep you safe, he’s gonna believe in you, love you endlessly while doing so.
“Breathe,” he whispered, dropping his head to speak into your hair, “I’ve got you. You’re here now, hm? It’s okay, take your time.”
You shuddered in his arms, finally letting go. Your fingers curled into the waistband of his sweatpants, the fabric soft beneath your fists, and he swore it would be embarrassing if you could feel his heartbeat right now. Every part of you was shaking, but Jake was steady, he felt your tears streak down his chest, and still he didn’t move. When your weight sagged slightly, when your knees threatened to give out, he adjusted instinctively, one arm sliding beneath your legs and the other securing your back as he lifted you with a careful ease.
You barely reacted, curling closer, forehead resting against his shoulder as he carried you toward the sofa. The way you trusted him with your full weight, the way you didn’t question it or pull back, made something deep in his chest tighten with a feeling he didn’t bother trying to name. He lowered himself onto the couch slowly, settling you against him so you were half in his lap, half against the cushions, his arm still wrapped around you like he was afraid you might slip away if he let go, as if he would ever let you go now.
This was everything he had imagined and more, you coming to him when you had nowhere else to go, choosing him without being asked, trusting him without needing proof. It felt inevitable in a way that made him dizzy.
“Jake,” you mumbled, heart paining at the thought of him not trusting you, but you had to tell him, “I swear—I’m not lying.”
“Lying about what, my love?” He gave you a small smile as you leaned back to look at him.
“There was blood—I swear, it was on the mirror, saying i’m alone and no one will save me, I’m not lying!” You said, hiccuping.
“Shh, calm down, I trust you, yeah? You’re safe here,” he murmured, passing you his usual smile that calmed you down, “wanna talk about it? Do you think it’s paranormal? Or someone did it?”
You realized how close you were to him, sitting on his lap, hands clutching his shoulders, his embrace giving you the warmth you’d been missing all this while—Jake was perfect. It was almost as if he was godsend to you, right when your life got monotonous, right when your own boyfriend gave up on you, when he was embarrassed. Jake listened to you, he cared enough to ask, to make sure you were okay, and even the gentleness of his voice had your heart beating fast for another reason.
“I—I don’t know,” you confessed, gulping. Your mind was a mess, especially after how things played out through the day. The blood, the breakup—did you really just wait for the right moment to do it? Because your heart beats for someone else now?
Jake said your name, bringing you back to the present, “you’re not okay, let me get you some hot chocolate.”
The very idea of him standing up, of that small space between you opening even for a second, made panic flare sharp, your fingers tightening on his shoulders before you realized you were doing it.
“No,” you said quickly, the word slipping out too fast. You shook your head, “don’t go, just—please don’t go, Jake.”
He stopped immediately, his attention snapping fully back to you, and god he wanted to groan so bad, you completely trusted him, “hey,” he said softly, “I’m right here.”
You laughed weakly, “I know, I just—” you pressed your forehead briefly against his, eyes squeezing shut, making it harder for him to keep his composure, hand resting on your nape now as you breathed in together, “I feel like I’m losing it. Like I’m not thinking straight, I keep wondering if I’m reacting this way because I’m scared, or because I’m tired, or because—” you trailed off.
Because you were sitting in another man’s lap, feeling safer than you had in weeks, and a part of you didn’t want it to stop.
“I shouldn’t feel like this,” you whispered, finally meeting his eyes, “I—It makes me feel insane.”
If only you could see the fireworks in Jake’s heart right now, you’d understand why his breath stuttered for just a fraction of a second, why his hand at your nape went utterly still like even the smallest movement might fracture the moment. Inside him, something detonated slowly and beautifully.
Jake forced himself to breathe evenly, to keep his face neutral, his thumb pressing lightly into the curve of your neck. Though every instinct in him screamed to pull you closer, to keep you exactly where you were forever, he chose to wait a few more minutes. Insane? Oh no, no. You were finally seeing things clearly.
“It’s been a long day, and your feelings are valid, love. You’ve been through so much, and your boyfriend didn’t bother being there for you, maybe that’s why you feel this way,” Jake murmured, watching another tear cascading down your cheek, “I won’t force you to say anything, or do anything, hm? Just know you’re safe with me.”
Your eyes were glassy when they lifted to his, lips parted from a trembling breath. Jake’s words sunk somewhere deeper than you meant them to, fuck—he knew exactly what to say, he knew how to be with you, how to make you fall in love with him, the part your ex boyfriend always missed, more now than ever. You didn’t want someone who didn’t trust you, who kept things boring, you wanted someone who’d make you feel loved each day—you wanted Jake.
You were so tired of being careful, of explaining yourself, of wanting more and pretending you didn’t. Your hands stayed where they were, resting against his bare shoulders, but your body leaned forward before you could stop it, drawn by something reckless, drawn by the beauty of the man right in front of you. What if he didn’t like you? What if he saw you as a friend? You panicked, and before you could slow yourself down, your body reacted on instinct alone.
Leaning forward, you slotted your lips upon his plush ones—letting him taste your tears for just a second, and god—Jake loves it. You’re soft, so fucking perfect, as if your lips were made to be locked with his own. It was barely a kiss. Just the briefest, trembling press of your lips to his, driven not by certainty but by panic, a sudden impulse to chase the feeling he’d been planting inside you all night. It lasted a second, maybe less, and even as your lips touched his, your mind was already pulling away, already scrambling to undo it, already panicking at what you might’ve just broken.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, breathing hard, trying to ignore just how good those few seconds felt, the way you got butterflies you hadn’t felt in a while, “I shouldn’t have—gosh, that wasn’t fair. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Jake didn’t care, he was too dazed with the fact that you belonged to him now, wondering how you didn’t notice his cock hardening beneath you yet. You’d kissed him, oh poor you, thinking it was a mistake when that’s exactly what you were meant to do. You and Jake? It was meant to be, one way or the other. His silence however, made you speak again.
“I wasn’t trying to use you,” you said next, because that thought had begun to creep in, “It wasn’t that—I swear.”
He didn’t hear the words as much as he watched the way you said them, so breathless, so very apologetic, lips still wet from kissing him, or crying, voice too fragile to carry the weight of what you’d just done. You didn’t even realize it yet—how irreversible that kiss was, how loud it had screamed mine. Jake was going insane, not because you had kissed him, but cause you had the nerve to feel guilty about it. Even if it worked in his favour, he had to do something about it.
“I know,” he said at last, softly, “I didn’t think you were.” His thumb shifted at your back, the touch meaning to calm you, and the restraint it took nearly made him dizzy. You were sitting right there, pressed against him, trusting him with a vulnerability you didn’t even recognize yet, and he had to keep reminding himself to move carefully to not mess it up, not at this moment.
“You don’t have to justify it to me,” Jake murmured, gaze lifting to your face again, “If tonight’s too much, if you just needed someone to hold onto for a minute, I don’t mind being that for you, love.” He tilted his head slightly as he spoke, his voice reassuring, as though he were offering you kindness instead of laying a trap you were already stepping into.
“You can use me,” he added gently, planting down his final trick to get you to confess, “I won’t think less of you for it.”
“I’m not using you,” you said too quickly, emotion breaking through the denial, “that’s not what this is. I didn’t—I wouldn’t.”
Perfect, you were so perfect, and admittedly in love with him now. He parted his lips to say something, only to let you continue spreading, simply holding onto you tighter, feeling the softness of your waist from where your top had ridden up.
“I don’t want to lose you, Jake,” you confess again, breathing hard, “you’re my only safe space now.”
It was rather pathetic how your mind never diverted back to your ex, and Jake loved it, “safe space?”
“I know it sounds stupid when we’ve barely—”
Jake let his smile take over as you rambled, the one where he didn’t mask how obsessed he was, and you just happened to miss it as he grabbed your chin, making you look at him, “you don’t have to explain,” he murmured, eyes locked onto yours, “you already said everything I needed to hear, darling.”
Wait—did that mean that he actually did like you?
“Jake—”
“You’re mine now, aren’t you?” He smirked, and you should’ve pointed out the sudden shift in the behaviour, but rather, you were happy that maybe, just maybe, your newfound feelings weren’t one sided.
“I—” you tried to speak, dizzy with the rather insane surge of emotions within you.
His nose brushed yours, breath mixing with yours, and that closeness, oh that unbearable, perfect closeness, it made your lips part a little wider. Jake couldn’t hold on anymore, his mouth crashing against yours before you could speak any further, and gosh the act felt hungry, the way he parted your lips with precision, letting you feel just how long he waited for it, the desperation seeping out. Your hands flew up, gripping his bare shoulders, fingernails biting down when his tongue slipped against yours.
Your hips shifted over his lap, making him groan into your mouth, and you swore you never felt this alive before. It was exactly how you’d imagined kisses to be in the books, and yes—the descriptions always felt real when you experienced anything with this man. Jake’s hands gripped your waist, one of them slid up under your shirt, palm dragging hot up your back, the other was fisted in your hair, keeping your lips pressed to his like he’d go feral if he let you go.
“Been waiting,” Jake mumbled between the kisses, “didn’t feel right cause you were dating someone else,” he lied, making you gasp at the depth of the situation.
It hadn’t even been a whole hour since you broke up, and here you were, sitting on Jake’s lap and kissing him as if there was no tomorrow. No more lying to yourself about how your relationship was stable when it was falling apart all along, not knowing how Jake took immense pride in being the catalyst to that destruction.
“You did?” You managed to ask, all breathless and flushed, opening your eyes to see his pink lips, slightly swollen now.
“Of course, it killed me to see someone as perfect as you being mistreated by someone else,” he breathed out, pecking your lips again, and you leaned closer, “as if I wouldn’t do anything to take your misery away.”
You whimpered into his mouth when his grip on your waist tightened, rocking you forward until your clothed cunt dragged against his hard length straining beneath you. You couldn’t control your voice anymore, especially as his lips traced a slow path across your cheekbone, “did I tell you how fucking beautiful you are?”
You shook your head, already breathless, “no—”
“No?” he whispered, smiling against your skin. His lips brushed the corner of your mouth before dragging down the column of your throat, “then I must be doing something terribly wrong.”
“I thought I was going crazy—thinking about you,” you spoke, caressing his nape.
“Then I must have been crazier,” he replied, making you smile despite everything that had happened. Nothing felt wrong anymore, absolutely nothing, and when you moaned again, Jake grabbed your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer, “I know a lot has happened, and again—I won’t rush you into anything.”
“No—please,” you almost cried out. Oh just how perfect you were for Jake.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Yes, I am, I need it,” you nodded.
That’s it, he didn’t have to pretend anymore, he could be exactly how he wished to be with you, and he knew you were shaken, but that’s the fun of it, isn’t it? He didn’t waste any time before he picked you up, taking you to his room—which he had cleaned earlier just for you, because he knew for a fact that it was going to be a long night for you both.
CHAPTER. 𝐗
You barely remember how you made it to his bed, only that the room smelled like him, that the sheets were warm and soft, and that Jake hadn’t stopped touching you once. His veiny hands had been everywhere since the second the bedroom door clicked shut. Gentle, like you were fragile. Greedy, like he’d been starving—and he was, more than you.
The mattress dipped beneath your back as he hovered over you, the shadows casting soft lines over his bare chest, his hair messy from where your fingers had already pulled through it. You weren’t sure if the pounding in your chest was from nerves or need, but Jake seemed to know exactly what to do with both.
“I’m trying my best to be nice here,” Jake mumbled breath brushing hot over your cheek as he dipped lower, “but you’re making it so hard.”
You didn’t want nice anymore, you wanted to see him unravel and show you exactly what he can offer when he wasn’t giving you his soft smiles and sweet words, so you spoke up again, “don’t be nice, make me forget.”
He stared at you like you’d offered him his favorite dish on a silver plate—which was indeed true. His body was still, as though he were already deciding how he’d take you, how fucking hard, just how long. How far he could push before you broke in his hands. Jake rose to his feet slowly, eyes dark like a predator waking up after a long sleep, and the second his shadow pulled away from your body, the heat that had cocooned you disappeared too, the sudden absence made you cold.
“You wanna forget, hm? Your old life? Ex?”
You nodded—so easily manipulated at the sight of something you liked, and you liked Jake now. No one tempted you this way before, but he did it without breaking a sweat. And so, he simply decided to indulge more in your interests, or rather, fantasies.
Then he said it, his voice deeper now, “okay,” he murmured, tilting his head slightly, “so be good, bunny. Go, run.”
You sat up halfway, breathing hard, “what?”
He couldn’t be into that, right? You wondered if it was yet another coincidence, or something he was going to distract you. It didn’t matter though, the statement making you press your thighs together with need.
“You’ve been scared, haven’t you? Let me turn that into something you’ll enjoy,” he says, giving you a lazy smirk, slowly circling the bed, “the only threat here is me.” He paused at the foot of the bed, arms crossed now, there was a wicked smirk curving his lips, one that didn’t match the softness he’d shown you earlier.
Your breath caught at the base of your throat. You knew it wasn’t real— Jake wouldn’t hurt you, that this was a game he was inviting you into, but it didn’t stop your skin from flushing hot. The shadows in his penthouse stretched long across the floor, windows black against the night sky, and somewhere between the city lights and the weight of his voice, something in you snapped.
You stood slowly, heart racing, still unsure if you were playing along or already giving in, cause god you wanted to. He simply watched you move, biting his lip at how effortlessly beautiful you seemed even when you were scared—when you were turned on.
His voice was soft, but his gaze? That stayed wild, “go on, baby. You want me to take it from you, don’t you?”
You swallowed thickly, nodding once before you turned. You turned, pulse roaring in your ears, bare feet hitting the polished floor as you moved away from the bed and into the open stretch of his penthouse. The space felt enormous now, all glass and shadow and city lights glittering beyond the windows, every surface reflecting just enough to remind you that there was nowhere to really hide, especially in a space you weren’t familiar with. You weren’t scared in the way fear clenches your chest and steals your breath, this was threaded with want, the kind that made your thighs press together as you ran.
Behind you, you heard him move, just the steady, unhurried pace of someone who knew exactly how this would end. The sound alone sent a shiver down your spine. You cut toward the kitchen, breath coming faster, fingers brushing the edge of the counter as you tried to steady yourself, your body already buzzing with anticipation, however, you didn’t make it far.
His hand closed around your wrist and he pulled you back into him, your back meeting his chest as he guided you effortlessly against the cool stone of the kitchen island. The juxtaposition made you gasp, the chill of the marble against your thighs and the heat of his body pressing into you stealing the air from your lungs at the same time. Jake’s mouth found the curve beneath your ear, his breath hot.
“See?” he murmured, gripping you tight, “you can’t hide from me.”
You squirmed in his grip, not to get away, never to get away—but because the tension coiling through your body needed somewhere to go. Jake felt it instantly, one of his hands sliding between your thighs and pressing, just enough to make your breath hitch, just enough to let you know exactly how this was going to go.
“Already soaked,” he groaned, the heel of his palm rocking against your clothed cunt, “you liked running—liked knowing I was gonna chase you.”
You whined, your hands flattening on the counter to keep you steady, back arching into him instinctively. He hummed in satisfaction, like he’d been waiting for that reaction, like he knew every inch of your body was tuned to him now.
“You wanna play?” He asked, lips brushing your jaw now, teeth grazing your pulse, “then you take what’s coming, bunny.”
His hand moved, unbuttoning the jeans, holding you up to drag it down, groaning at the sight of your legs he so desperately loved—fucking perfect. He dropped to his knees behind you before you could process the shift, large hands gripping your thighs to drag you right to the edge of the island. His shoulder nudged your legs farther apart, breath brushing warm over the thin fabric stretched between your thighs, and then his mouth was on you.
The first drag of his tongue over your soaked panties made you jump, but he held you firm, tongue tracing a path up your slit before pressing against your clit with need. He mouthed at you through the fabric, tongue flattening and lips sucking just enough to make you cry out, your hands flying back to dig into his hair.
“Fuck, Jake—” your voice broke on his name, as if you were high at the sensation you’d never truly felt before, gosh—you didn’t even know you could feel this good with just his tongue.
He almost growled, the sound vibrating against you, and then you felt your panties being tugged aside as he dove in properly, tongue hot and filthy against your bare cunt. His lips sealed around your clit, sucking hard enough to make you cry out loud, not stopping as he went on like a madman, finally getting a taste of what he’d been imagining all this while, your fingers gripping his hair tighter with every stroke of his tongue.
Jake groaned again, “so fucking perfect, you taste so good—fuck, bet no one’s tasted you like this before, bunny,” the sound muffled against your soaked pussy, and the way he moaned—like he needed this, like your taste was better than anything he’d ever touched—made your stomach flip with heat. He was insatiable, lost in it, nose nudging against your clit as his tongue licked through your folds again and again. There was no grace to it anymore, absolutely no restraint. He devoured you like a man who had waited far too long for something he was never supposed to have.
“Fuck—you’re crazy,” you moaned out, but he was right about it, and Jake was good at what he did because your body could barely remember much, you couldn’t think straight, not when he was being such a good munch for you.
“Not crazy enough,” Jake licked up, pressing a harsh kiss on your clit, sucking it in with need. He had never felt hunger like this before—not even in his loneliest, most desperate nights, not even in the quiet moments when he imagined what it would be like to finally touch you like this. It was you, your sounds, your taste, your trembling thighs braced around his head, and Jake—Jake was starved for every single part of it.
Every moan from you made his cock twitch, already rock-hard in his pants, already aching to be inside—but he wasn’t rushing. No, not yet. He was drunk off you, off the fact that you were squirming for him.
“Jake, Jake—oh my god, I can’t—” your voice broke, your legs trembling, but Jake just groaned deeper, his arms wrapping around your thighs now to keep you steady.
He pulled back just enough to breathe, chin wet, eyes dark and locked onto the slick mess between your legs. His voice was hoarse, “you have no fucking idea,” he panted, chest heaving as he looked up at you, “no idea how long—” he stopped himself before he could expose his true thoughts, watching how you were so close, looking down at him with heart eyes, tears threatening to fall down.
“Last chance, bunny. Run while you still can, because I won’t let go again,” Jake warned, and he meant it, cause now that he knows how fucking perfect you taste, it’ll be impossible for you to escape, but he liked the thrill, even if it was a game to you.
It was drizzling outside, the voice barely calming down your racing heart as Jake sat on his knees, as if he’d fully surrendered himself to your being, looking at you like the world had narrowed down to this exact moment, to the way your chest rose and fell too fast, to the way your lips trembled as you stared back at him with wide, overwhelmed eyes. His hands loosened their grip on your thighs just enough to make the threat of collapse very real, and you gasped softly, instinctively shifting your weight as your legs wobbled beneath you.
He smirked, tongue out before he bit his lip, “gonna run from me now, hm?”
Your body reacted to it, faster than your mind could process, turning around and getting away, making sure to not hurt Jake in the process, making him chuckle, “such a doll,” he muttered to himself, staying right there, hearing your footsteps going around his place—a dream come true for him, “all mine, can’t escape anymore.”
You barely made it around the corner of the kitchen, your legs still trembling from the way he’d pulled you apart with just his mouth. Your thighs sticky with slick, your shirt clinging to your back with sweat, jeans long forgotten, and your brain buzzed with the heat of it all—his voice still in your ears.
Reaching the balcony, you didn’t think twice before rushing inside, crashing through them with a gasp, bare feet slapping wet against the stone. The drizzle kissed your skin instantly, soaking your body in seconds. It was soft, enough to cling to your lashes and dampen your clothes and make the warm air feel gentle.
Far away, in the kitchen, your phone rang with the calls of your ex, but you didn’t care anymore. Maybe it was the selfishness taking over, the insane power you felt when you were living something you’d wanted to experience—the feeling of having the same interests, and maybe, the kind of love that won’t come with the expiration date of the honeymoon phase.
You stumbled out to the edge, palms flat against the glass railing, panting like you could outrun what he’d done to you, but you couldn’t because he was already there. The heat of his body pressed into your back a second before his arms did—one winding tight around your waist, the other sliding up to cradle your jaw as he pulled you away from the railing and right back into him. His palm flattened over your stomach, his chest bare and slick against your soaked shirt, his lips already on your neck.
“You didn’t even make it a minute, baby,” Jake whispered, breathing hot against the curve of your jaw, even as the drizzle fell cool around you, “didn’t wanna run? Not scared anymore?”
You just stared at the man from the side, his warmth juxtaposing the cold, absolutely making you forget about everything else, as if he was here just to take control of your mind and being. All you could feel and register was the hard line of his cock pressing into your ass, the strength of his arms, the desperation in the way his lips pressed against your skin.
“That’s my good girl,” he whispered, as you sighed with pleasure, fingers curling weakly against the cool glass railing as his mouth lingered just below your ear. Every word he spoke vibrated through you.
“Your good girl,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely audible.
And gosh, that was all it took. Jake’s mouth captured yours in a kiss that stole what little air you had left within you. It felt so deep and consuming, lips moving against yours that made your knees feel weak. His hand slid from your jaw to the back of your neck, holding you there, fully taking control now. You were purely, utterly, wholly his, and you loved every bit of it.
“Come here,” he whispered, voice thick, his lips brushing yours one last time before he guided you gently away from the railing.
He led you a few steps to where the balcony jutted in slightly, a narrow overhang offering shelter from the drizzle. The rain didnt reach you there, turning into a quiet mist around you. Jake lowered himself down on the singular chair first, then tugged you into his lap without asking, your legs automatically falling to either side of his hips.
You gasped as your soaked panties dragged against him, the heat between you making you go crazy. Jake’s hands slid to your hips, steadying you as your body rocked forward, chasing the exact pressure you needed.
“Easy, darling,” he breathed, his thumbs digging in as he guided your movement instead, “yeah, just like that.”
You rolled your hips again, feeling the way he reacted beneath you, the way his breath hitched and his grip tightened. The sensation built with every movement of yours, your forehead dropping to his shoulder as the rain continued to fall just beyond your shelter. Jake kissed the side of your head as his hips moved to meet yours, the two of you locked together in a rhythm that felt inevitable now.
“Jake—”
“Yeah? That’s not loud enough, bunny,” he chuckled.
“But—fuck! We’re outside!” You cried out, voice louder, making him chuckle.
“That’s the point,” he murmured into your neck, “let them hear. Let the whole fucking city know how sweet you sound when you’re grinding on me, yeah? Let your ex hear your pretty fucking voice.”
Your head fell back at that, mouth open as you let out a moan you couldn’t hold in. The wet friction, the heat of his body under yours, the way his voice dropped into something very possessive every time you whined—it all blurred together perfectly, making your thighs tremble.
“Fuck, you’re soaked,” Jake groaned, one hand sliding from your hip down to press the soaked fabric of your panties tighter against your pussy. “You’re fucking dripping for me, bunny, and I haven’t even taken you inside yet.”
“You’re crazy,” you repeated, giving him a smile showing how you felt just as insane as he did, two people made for each other.
“You love it,” he mumbled, thumb rubbing your clit in slow circles now, “you need this, don’t you? That excitement, something other than vanilla fucking,” he scoffed.
You didn’t bother questioning how he knew about your past sexual experiences, simply because you felt ecstatic in the moment. You were so sensitive it was almost painful, your thighs twitching with every lazy rub, your hips jerking forward to meet it like you were chasing the high without thinking.
“I said,” he leaned in, “you need this, don’t you?”
“Yes,” you breathed, nodding.
He pulled back, just enough to see your face clearly, his thumb still moving in those perfect circles. His sweatpants were soaked, his cock rock hard beneath you, and yet his patience was infuriating—perfectly cruel to you.
You rocked into his hand, chasing the rhythm, grinding faster, harder, your body already right there on the edge. So close it hurt, “Jake—Jake, I’m—please—”
“Not yet, baby.”
You whined, and Jake loved it. As much as he wanted to see you make a mess and feel that pleasure because of him—he just wished to drag it more, even if it was hard for him to control his own fucking cock, he couldn’t let you cum just like this, he needed to fuck you so hard your body would forget any other person who touched you before him.
“I said not yet,” he repeated, voice firmer now, “you don’t get to cum until I say so.”
A tear slipped down your cheek at the overstimulation, the aching buildup that never ended. Your clit was throbbing, twitching under his fingers, and you didn’t know whether to push into it or listen to him. You could feel yourself dripping down your thighs, soaking his palm, and still—he didn’t stop.
He tilted his head and caught the tear with his tongue, groaning softly, “fuck. You taste like sin.” His hand left your pussy, only to slap your clit once, making you scream and jerk forward.
“Jake!” you gasped, breath hitching, heat spiraling again in your belly.
“You’re crying already?” He grinned, eyes heavy-lidded with lust, “god, that’s so pretty, baby. Look at you—fuckin’ perfect when you’re desperate.”
“I need you,” you sobbed, your voice airy and hoarse now, all fucked-out, “please, please, please—need you inside, wanna cum on your cock, please—”
“You’re really crying for cock now?” He clicked his tongue, “that needy for me already, baby?”
You nodded, your body burning up, your panties long ruined, your thighs sticky, clit still throbbing from the slap, “wanna be full,” you whispered, “wanna cum with you inside.”
Jake’s expression turned feral. Oh he was so in love with you, his cock twitching against the fabric of his sweats. Without another word, he picked you up with ease, his muscles flexing as you stared at his perfectly sculpted face, wet and messy hair—his grip firm on your body.
The bedroom door slammed behind you and barely had time to bounce back open before he shoved you onto the mattress, your back hitting the sheets as you gasped. Jake was on you in the next second, climbing over your trembling form, his hands everywhere—pushing your shirt up, tugging your bra down roughly, yanking your panties off your thighs, he couldn’t stand the thought of fabric between you anymore.
“You were begging for this, weren’t you?” He muttered, freeing his cock from the sweatpants, your eyes widening at the length, and just how hard he was as he started dragging his cock through your folds, notching the swollen head against your soaked entrance.
Every night he’d lay awake thinking about this, imagining how it might feel to finally be inside you, how your pussy would squeeze him tight, how your moans would sound when he broke you apart with slow, deep thrusts. He’d imagined the tears, the trembling, the ruined beauty of you coming undone just for him. But nothing could have prepared him for the reality. You looked so perfect like this. Messy, wild, glassy-eyed with need, your lips parted in a silent plea, your thighs quivering where they bracketed his hips.
Pressing his lips upon yours, he thrusted in, swallowing every single moan and scream that you let out, tongue tracing your own as he bottomed out, the squeeze making him groan loud out. Your back arched, your hands flying up to clutch at his arms, nails sinking into his biceps as the thick head of his cock practically breached you.
“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned, voice shaking, one hand gripping your waist.
You whimpered, legs wrapping around his waist instinctively, your heels digging into the backs of his thighs as you tried to pull him deeper. But he wasn’t ready to rush. He needed to feel all of it—the way your pussy fluttered around him as your body struggled to take him in fully.
Jake leaned back just enough to see your face, and the sight nearly undid him. You were crying again, but not from pain, rather from being so full, so overwhelmed. Tears streaked down your cheeks, your lips trembling, your whole expression soft and broken and desperate for more.
He wiped one tear away with the back of his thumb, then kissed it away from the corner of your eye, “that’s it,” he murmured, thrusting deeper until he was fully seated inside you, cock buried to the hilt, “take all of me. You can do it, baby. You’re doing so good, just forget about everything else, yeah? Nothing else, just me.”
Another tear cascaded down your cheek, and he licked it up, thrusting in hard enough to make you gasp, fingers grabbing your chin open, your eyes rolling back with how he licked your mouth, before spitting into it, watching you gulp it down for him—oh fucking perfect, he didn’t even have to tell you shit, you were made for him, “fucking hell—good girl.”
You could barely nod, but it was enough. Your cunt clenched again around him, soaked and swollen and fluttering as he pulled halfway out just to slam back in, your body jolting from the force, another sob slipping past your lips.
“Yeah, you like that,” he muttered, leaning down, pressing a filthy kiss to your cheek as his hips snapped forward again, harder, “you like being fucked dumb. My sweet, dumb baby, can’t even think with my cock inside you.”
Jake felt your legs shake around him, your pussy clenching so tight it dragged another moan from his throat. You were getting close again, he could feel it—the way you trembled, the way your fingers scrambled for anything to hold—his shoulders, the sheets, the back of his neck—told him everything.
“Don’t fight it,” he groaned, fucking into you with messier thrusts now, each one hitting so deep you swore you could feel all over your body, “you wanna cum, don’t you? Wanna cum with my cock so deep you forget your fucking name?”
You nodded again, tears slipping down your cheeks freely now, lips parted around tiny gasps as your back arched and your body started to seize, “please Jake—gonna—” you choked out, barely able to breathe, “need it, I—fuck—I need it—”
“Cum for me,” he chuckled, his thumb rubbing circles over your clit now, “make a mess. Fucking drip for me, little bunny.”
And that was enough for you to feel that unadulterated pleasure, your scream broke in your throat, nothing but a cry of pure release as your orgasm hit you like nothing before, your vision white, your body locking up beneath him as you squirted, your slick splashing wet against his stomach, soaking the sheets, your cunt still spasming wildly around him.
“Fuck—oh fuck yes,” Jake snarled, watching the mess coat him, cock still driving through it, “you’re leaking—baby, fuck—you’re so messy. All for me. All this cause of my cock?”
You nodded through the tears, unable to speak. He grabbed your legs, yanked them up over his shoulders again and folded you in half, pounding into you with brutal thrusts now. The angle was insane, his balls slapping against your ass, your pussy so wet it sounded obscene every time he slammed in.
“Gonna cum in you, yeah?” He panted, his voice going more desperate now, “you’re gonna hold it, you hear me? Gonna keep every drop inside. I don’t care if it spills—I’ll stuff it back in.”
You wailed under him, your body beyond spent now, your mind blank with overstimulation, your pussy fluttering around him like it still wasn’t done, and god Jake wanted to say it loud out, how he was so in love with how you smiled, how you giggled when he kissed you despite being so fucking gone, you reacted to him just how he wanted you to.
Jake leaned down, biting your neck as he buried himself one last time, hips jerking as he came hard, so fucking hard—spilling deep inside you, cock pulsing as your body sucked it all in, your walls milking him. He stayed there, still twitching inside as he looked into your eyes, watching his own reflection inside as your whimper reverberated the room.
“I fucking lo—” he stopped himself, “fuck, you’re perfect, so pretty,” he said instead, finally moving enough to pull back and see the mess, he groaned at the sight—his cum already leaking out of your swollen cunt, dripping down onto the sheets, your thighs slick with it. He didn’t even reach for a towel, pushing his cum back in with two fingers, smearing it up against your walls again, watching your hips jerk.
“Not wasting a fucking drop,” he whispered, kissing your damp cheek again, “you’re mine, yeah? All this is mine, fucking mine, mine.” He kept on repeating it and you—being so fucked in the head, thought it was the hottest fucking sight ever. A man absolutely gone into depths of desperation for you? You wanted that for life.
You were still trying to catch your breath when he spoke up, eyes still trying to memorize all of you, kissing your knuckles, “i’m sorry I lost control.”
He sat up slightly, adjusting the blanket over you, like you weren’t already covered with his marks and love. His hand stayed on your stomach, not having it in him to stop touching you when you chased that high yourself. When you smiled, shaking your head, he swore he fell deeper into whatever twisted obsession he harboured towards you.
“Stay,” he breathed out, looking dead serious, “don’t go anywhere, just stay with me, hm? I know it’s early but I can’t let you go back there.”
“But how can I just live here? It’s not easy—”
“It doesn’t have to be hard, y’know? Especially if that place is haunted, you should let it go,” he mumbled, pressing his forehead against yours, cause god he couldn’t bear any distance anymore, he wanted to lock you inside with him and never leave, just you and him being together forever, “I’ll help you move in your stuff, I know it’ll be hard for you to go there alone, there’s enough space for you to have your own room too,” Jake said, absolutely hating the fact of you being in a different room, but he had to say it.
“I—I don’t know, Jake, it’s a lot to ask for,” you mumbled, and he instantly made you smile by pressing a soft kiss on your lips.
“Y/N,” he whispered against you, sending a shiver up your spine, “It’s not a lot, it wasn’t just sex for me—I like you,” he confessed as if he wasn’t in love with you, eyes full of sparkles, looking at you with hope in his eyes.
“You do?” You asked, breathing harder.
He nodded, “I do. I like you in every way possible, even sitting beside you without speaking makes me feel happy, I know it was wrong for me to like you when you had a boyfriend, but some feelings can’t be controlled.”
You didn’t answer right away, but your heartbeat was fast again as you stared at him, “Jake,” you whispered, voice barely holding together, “what if this ruins things? What if I regret it?”
Regret? Oh Jake wanted to scoff right there. What would you even regret? Living like a princess with him, getting everything you want, getting Jake’s undivided love and attention. You’d be crazy to think that there’s anything to regret.
He had to maintain his calm, “hey, I just know you won’t regret staying somewhere you feel safe, with someone who actually wants you around.”
You genuinely wanted to believe him. The sudden noise of lightning made you gasp as the rain only grew stronger, making you hug Jake—the way your body was so comfortable with him was answer enough. He only hugged you tighter, taking in your scent yet again, pupils dilated with how much his emotions were in tune with the moment.
“You don’t have to be scared right now,” he murmured into your hair, “you’re here with me.”
You pulled back just enough to look at him, rainlight flashing softly through the room, and for the first time the thought of staying didn’t feel complicated, “can I really stay?” you asked, almost shy now.
He nodded immediately, brushing his thumb along your cheek, as if it was a joke, you’re meant to stay here, now and forever, “yeah, my love,” he said, “as long as you want.”
He kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then your jaw, making you squirm and laugh quietly, trying to hide your face, “Jake,” you whined, giggling.
“What?” He said innocently, brushing his nose against your neck, absolutely thrilled and shaking from the inside at the thought of you being here each day, “can’t kiss my girl?”
“You’re so annoying,” you mumbled, even as your arms wrapped tighter around his neck.
“Annoying?” He laughed, and you loved the sound of it, so easily manipulated into loving things you weren’t familiar with, already shifting his hands to the back of your thighs, “say that again after I carry your cold, shivering little self into a hot bath.”
Jake gives you that feeling—he makes you feel like you belong with him, like you matter, and most importantly, he trusts you so deeply that not even your closest ones did. And that’s what makes it so perfect, how you took the most obvious step into Jake’s trap, making him chuckle with how you were naive and you needed him.
And as he held you tighter, carrying you straight into the life he built around you, Jake smiled—because you thought this was love, and not once did it occur to you that it was a cage.
CHAPTER. 𝐗𝐈
Maybe you did like your cage a lot, granted you were happier than ever living with Jake—who was your boyfriend now. Yes, it was rushed, but you know what they say about when it feels right, it’s right. He’d been sweet enough to accompany you when you moved your belongings into his penthouse, heck, he didn’t let you lift a finger as he carried everything inside.
And you were ecstatic to see him absolutely glowing through it all—his sleeves rolled up, jaw tense with focus, smiling every time you caught his eye like he couldn’t believe you were really here. He’d kissed your temple after setting down your last box, whispered something like “finally,” and you’d laughed, brushing it off like he was just being silly as usual. You didn’t think too hard about it. You didn’t think too hard about a lot of things anymore.
The place was beautiful—wide windows, warm floors, shelves already cleared for your books, space in the closet that he’d emptied before even asking what you were bringing. Everything was ready for you, as if he’d known the answer long before you gave it. And Jake, well—Jake was perfect.
He made breakfast before you woke up, kissed your shoulder while the kettle boiled, offered you his hoodie on nights you didn’t even say you were cold. He never asked where you were going or who you were texting, he didn’t have to when he knew everything.
The only thing you were curious about was that one room he kept locked, not even allowing you inside, and you didn’t think much about it, simply choosing to respect his privacy. If not, he’d pull you into a deep kiss, leading to the things you’d grown to enjoy a lot. Your life felt colourful again, not bland anymore.
Jake was clingy, not having it in him to let you out of his sight if it weren’t for your lectures, maybe that obsession of his made you feel more important, and happy, cause you didn’t mind it one bit. Your ex had stopped contacting you, and even your family supported you through the breakup, minus the fact that they weren’t sure about you moving in with a new man so soon.
He was patient with you, learning new things about you each day—acting surprised even if he knew about it beforehand. Jake didn’t know how to word it, he couldn’t control his emotions, as if they had heightened tenfold with your presence. At times, he simply wanted to pin you down and bury his face in your neck, your scent calming him down, or rather, making him go even deeper into the spiral, and you mistook it for the onset of love for Jake, especially when he stared at you with his puppy-like eyes.
So, you got home early, expecting Jake to be home, but he wasn’t. He had crossed boundaries long back, but watching your ex text you got him pissed, he stared at the screen, biting his nails. And that was the first time he acted so recklessly without a plan, knowing you won’t be home, he didn’t bother locking that door.
That was a mistake that changed everything as you stood inside the room, shaking with fear, or something worse that you couldn’t pinpoint—Jake wasn’t just in love with you, he was severely obsessed. Your pictures were scattered all around, some taped to the wall, others stacked on the desk in messy piles. Not just the ones you’d posted online, there was more—pics of you sleeping, brushing your hair in your old bedroom.
Your hands shook as you reached for one photo, a blurry shot of you crying in front of your ex from the day you broke up. There were other things too—little items he’d kept, including the lipgloss you’d lost a few months back.
Meanwhile Jake’s face was splattered with blood, it wasn’t his, but of the guy who was trying his best to get you back. Jake had been too nice, way too nice, “she’s mine,” he muttered, hands shaking with a sinister smile on his face, “don’t come closer, yeah? Not that you can anymore.” His laugh boomed through the empty space, your ex on the floor begging for his life.
This was too much—you tried your best to wipe your tears, knowing Jake might be back anytime soon, and you wouldn’t know how to react around him anymore. You knew what you saw wasn’t right, you knew the things he’d done weren’t justifiable, not even close, but for some reason your fear didn’t look like running—it just confused you further, you feel this weird guilt within you, like you weren’t sure if it was more terrifying to be wanted this much, or to want someone back despite everything.
The front door opened right that second and you flinched at the noise, mouth going dry at the sight of Jake covered in blood, him stopping in his tracks at your presence, eyes travelling up to see his room door wide open.
His jaw tightened, feeling something closer to relief mixed but also disbelief, like the worst thing that could’ve happened had already happened and somehow you were still here. When he finally looked back at you, his expression changed entirely. Whatever mask he usually wore around you cracked completely, his breath hitching as he started laughing, like he didn’t know what else to do with the insanity within him. He started walking towards you, blood still drying on his hands, on his clothes.
“You saw it, baby,” he murmured, voice still full of love.
You nodded, tears blurring your vision again, and for a split second you thought he might pull away, might rethink everything. Instead, he reached for you and pulled you into him hard, arms locking around your shoulders, shaking as he laughed again into your hair, the sound breaking halfway, but of course, he was overjoyed that you didn’t run away, that you stayed and waited for him to come back.
You cried against his chest and hugged him back without thinking twice, because even now your body reacted to him before your head could catch up. You knew this wasn’t normal, you knew nothing about this should’ve felt okay, but standing there with him holding you like he’d just barely kept you from slipping away, all you could feel was how badly he needed you.
And the worst part was knowing that he’d crossed every line imaginable, and still, somehow, you weren’t thinking about leaving.
You were thinking about how to stay, and how you probably won’t be able to leave.
Jake sim, one of the most popular boys in school makes it his goal to have you fall for him, a simple bet with his friends. Little does he know, he’ll be the one falling to his knees for you
sim jaeyun x fem!reader
content warnings: smut, angst, inexperienced reader x experienced jake, pussy drunk jake, pussy eating, fingering, dry humping, multiple makeout scenes, mutual masterbation, unprotected sex, cream pie, mentions of bullying & alcohol, jake is a massive giver, and a simp (begging), hyung line mentioned, porn with a plot..let me know if I missed anything!
word count: 16.8k
bonus scene here!
Going to a school where everyone around you got what they wanted was torture. Especially for someone like you. You don't come from a wealthy family like the other students do. Some people would call your home life unfortunate if they knew. Which is exactly why almost no one knows.
You only got accepted into this school because of a scholarship program, after endless studying, and trying to stay focused at your old school, that was your out.
It was hard though, with the bullying, the mean comments, trying to remain sane while everyone in your life pushed and pointed like you were some object for observation and critiquing.
But at your new school, people actually leave you alone. You've been attending here for a few months now. As a natural observer it only took 1 to understand the dynamic of the people here.
From the designer hand bags, to the freshly blown out hair, the girls here were not only gorgeous but also had the money to maintain things like that, it was obvious why they didn't bother you. Because you weren't a threat.
Just like any other school there's always those cliques, the groups of people who hang around the same circle. Yours happens to be you and two other girls, your first friends you made here, Lyla and Gigi.
You have a hard time telling if they pity you, they know your situation. How your mother constantly tries to live off the wealth of other men, they know you don’t live in a good area—
“Oh my gosh he totally looked at me, didn't he look at me?” Lyla says, eyes darting between you and Gigi.
“He quite literally looks at anything with boobs Ly..” Gigi says, taking a bite of the school cafeterias fries.
“Come on, at least feed into my delusions a little bit” She says, stealing one of your fries.
You turn your head slightly, three tables back sits the most known group of boys in the whole school. Football players. Typical.
“You’re talking about Heeseung right?” you say turning back to your friends. “Obviously! I mean with Gigi being Jay’s sister obviously he knows who I am right?” She says, eyes wide
“Yeah- im sure he does, don't they hang out a ton after school and stuff too?” You ask, playing with the salad on your plate with a fork.
“Yup! At Gigi’s too, most of the time, and especially after practice, when they're hot and sweaty-”
“Okay gross. my brother is on that team” Gigi says, gagging
You've been to her house a few times, whether it was for one of your group projects, or to help her out with some school work, Slept over often too, I mean her house was huge.
Her parents even offered to have you sleep in one of the 6 guest bedrooms. But Lyla said it doesn't count as a sleepover if we’re not all together.
“Incoming, 12 o’clock.” Lyla says looking past your shoulder at the group of boys.
“How much you wanna bet she’s gonna yell at him” Gigi says, making you turn around, you watch as a familiar blonde haired girl you've seen around campus storms into the cafeteria, heels clicking on the ground as she approaches them.
“Jake where the fuck were you!” She yells, glaring at the dark haired boy, number 15 on the football team. You only know that because Lyla made you go through the list of them to figure out which one Heeseung was.
You watch him, the way his eyes never leave his phone when he speaks. “God- What do you not fucking understand about where done?” He says finally looking up at her, the other guys around him look like they're watching a movie while they observe the interaction.
“But you didn't even-” she starts “Clara I don't want to hear your bullshit okay? Just leave me alone.” He says, tone irritated.
“Fine- you know you're just like all the other guys. Only talking to girls just to get your dick wet.”You watch the way her grip tightens on her designer bag.
“You didn't seem to mind.” He says, making the guys around him let out the laughs they've been holding.
“Fuck you- you’re so going to regret this!” She says, and you watch as he rolls his eyes and focuses back on his phone
“She looks like she's about to throw a tantrum” Gigi says, making your attention go back to your friends
“I mean Jake knew what he was getting into when they started..messing around" Lyla says.
You just nod, half listening before turning your head again to look at the group, they’re back to laughing, probably at the interaction that just happened.
“-and then we can order pizza or something, it’s the perfect night for it too! You in y/n?” Lyla says, and you look at them confused “Huh?”
“Girl, The Victoria's Secret fashion show duh, it's live tonight.” She says "Gigi's house obviously since you know, movie theater room”
“I love the way you volunteered my own place, But yeah, my house tonight” She says shrugging
“Um- I dont know guys..I kind of have to study-”
“Y/n it's friday night. Come on, you have all weekend to study, please!” She says looking at you with those infamous puppy dog eyes
“Fine, fine ill be there, what time?” You ask, picking up your phone.
“Like 7 ish?” Lyla says, looking at Gigi who just nods, “Yeah, Jay won't be home either, pretty sure him and his friends are going to some party.”
“Your parents are letting him?” Lyla asks, brow raising.
“They're not even home, they literally left for their anniversary trip not even 3 hours ago.” Gigi says checking her phone. “So it will just be us then? she nods.
The rest of the day is a blur, between trying to set up tutoring appointments with your counselor, because apparently it looks good to help other students, and trying to finish your own work so you can actually go to Gigi’s.
You mentally prepare yourself to ask your mom if you can go tonight, hoping she's in a good mood. Knocking lightly on her bedroom door “Mom?” you ask quietly and the door swings open, you take in her attire, the club dress, the really tall heels, her hair and make up done.
“You’re going on another date?” You ask brow raising
“Yeah, remember that guy from the bar I told you about, Chris?" She says smiling, you nod even though you don't remember her saying a thing about him.
“Right- um well I was just wondering if I can go to Gigi’s tonight? I finished my homework and stuff and its also friday so-”
“Sure” She says, and you pause. It must be because she's going on a date, because you would have gotten a whole lot more shit.
“Can you sleep over too.” It's not a question.
“Uh- I can ask” You say shrugging
“Well just try too okay? Im about to leave” She says, putting in her earrings and giving you a very rare kiss on your forehead before walking out the door, leaving you confused as ever.
Its like the universe was on your side when you opened your phone to see the group chat messages
Lyla: Gigi we should just have a sleepover
Lyla: It's already gonna be late when the live is done too
Lyla: Plus we haven't had one in so long
Gigi: yeah I was literally going to ask if you guys wanted to stay the night anyway lol
Lyla: YAY! Good because my bags already packed
Gigi: Y/n can u come too?
You: Yup! I'll be there
You set your phone down so you can focus on packing an overnight bag, you don't need to overdress either, so you settle on wearing some shorts, a hoodie, and fluffy socks with slippers, this is a sleepover after all
When you get to Gigi's house- no, mansion, because this can't even compare to your house. Lyla comes running out
"You're late!” She says, grabbing your bags from you “It's like 10 minutes-”
“And the show starts in 20!” she says frantically, grabbing your arm and dragging you into the house
You dont think you’ll ever get over how nice it is, from the high ceilings to the expensive paintings on the wall, and the pool in the backyard, probably way too big for a family of four.
You catch the faint smell of popcorn from the kitchen, as Lyla places your bags by the stairs, “Where's Gigi?” you ask
“Shes setting up in the movie room, im trying to finish the popcorn” Lyla says going to the kitchen
You walk down the hall you've grown familiar with, observing the pictures on the wall of Gigi's family
“Y/n- how do you disconnect a Playstation from the TV? Jay didn't even bother to.” She says, clicking random buttons on the remote. You laugh walking over to help her
୨♡୧
“Okay all I have to say is when I get married and stuff, im making my husband buy me that specific set.” Lyla says over the runway music, making you and Gigi laugh because she practically yells over how loud it is.
You open your mouth to speak but stop when all three of your eyes go to the door as it opens, Heeseung walks in pausing as his eyes go to the large TV screen “Holy shit- are you guys watching porn?” He says, looking at the model on the stage, the space instantly feels smaller as Sunghoon pushes past him to get in the room “We’re not watching porn!” Gigi says, pausing the TV
Lyla is just staring at Heeseung, Jay walks in next “Gigi what the hell are you watching-”
“Did we interrupt your group gooning session?” Heeseung says. You watch Gigi's face flush red, now clearly visible since Jay turned on the lights.
“Jay- You said you were going to that stupid ass party tonight!” She says walking over to him “Yeah well it got cancelled.” He says, rolling his eyes. “Bruh I've been wanting to play the ps5 all day” Sunghoon says before looking at the TV again
“Do we not literally have a room for you to do just that?” Gigi says, eyeing down Sunghoon, before looking back at her brother.
“Dude someone left a whole bag of popcorn in the microwave-” Jake walks in pausing when he sees everyone in here, his eyes land on you for a split second before looking at the TV “What are they watch-”
“Its not fucking porn! You all are so stupid!” Gigi says before her eyes snap back to Jay “I literally said I was having Y/n and Lyla over in our messages!”
“Yeah well I forgot” He rolls his eyes again, you cant help but observe the other four boys, you watch Heeseungs eyes, following them to Lyla.. that has to be considered eye fucking.
You can't help but look at Jake though, he's wearing glasses. Are they prescription? He’s looking at something on his phone. He just showed Sunghoon something on his phone that made him smile. Sunghoon looks at you for a second before nudging Jake's shoulder, Jake is looking at you- is he looking behind you? You turn your head slightly, before looking back at him, why is he smirking-
“Fine! You keep the movie room well just go in the living room. Just don't snitch” Jay pleads, not even embarrassed that he's begging in front of his friends, Gigi just beams proudly, knowing she's won when they walk out.
୨♡୧
“She’s a virgin?!” Jake practically yells, making Heeseung, and Sunghoon's eyes snap to him.
“You’re so fucking lucky the movie room is noise cancellation.” Jay says pinching his eyebrows
“And- I don't even know if it's true, I just over heard Gi talking on the phone with her and Lyla a few weeks back” Heeseung and Sunghoons attention on the movie long forgotten
“Are you talking about y/n?” Heeseung asks curiously
“There's no way, I mean yeah she's like quiet and shit but she has some experience right?” Sunghoon adds
“I don't know man, but her and Gi became friends at the beginning of the school year, she's been over a few times. She's pretty chill.” Jay says
“So she doesn't have a boyfriend?” Jake asks, brow raising
“I thought you liked them experienced Jake? You fuck with little virgins now or what?” Heeseung says smirking
“I mean she’s cute, nothing wrong with teaching her a thing or two” Jake says with a knowing look on his face
“She doesn't really talk to guys though–like at all. Gi always complains that she’s too busy studying. But she's hella smart, tutoring and shit-”
“Wait, she tutors?” Jake's ears perk up at that
“Yeah she came over to help Gigi with chem the other day.” Jay says casually, like he didn't just give him the golden ticket to your personal space
“Are you serious?” Sunghoon says looking at him
Heeseung glances between the two, picking up what they're hinting at. “It's kinda risky, I mean girls like that- they aren't like, easy you know? Plus you're literally one of the smartest on the team.”
“You think she's actually gonna be interested though?” Jay asks
“I bet she'll see through that shit the first tutoring lesson honestly” Sunghoon says, making Heeseung laugh
“You think I only pull the easy ones?” Jake watching the both of them
“Thats all you’ve done this whole time-” Heeseung starts
“Alright bet.” Jake says, making the three of them pause
“Bet?”
“Yeah, I'll get her to fall for me.” Jake says confidently
“Yeah right” Heeseung adds
“Shit- I mean what about Clara though?” Sunghoon asks
“What about her? Im not fucking her anymore”
“You realise the shit she's gonna give y/n if you actually go through with that?” Jay says
“You’re basically setting her up for failure, Claras fucking crazy.” Heeseung says
“I still dont know why you decided to fuck her in the first place” he adds
“Probably because of her personality.” Jay says through a laugh
“Nah fuck her, she wont mess with y/n like that, shes not that desperate.” Jake says, but deep down he doesn't know if it's 100% true. Is he really setting you up for failure with this?
He's pulled from his thoughts when you come walking out of the movie room, coincidentally.
He only saw you sitting down, but now he's taking you in fully. Hoodie, shorts, fluffy…cat socks.
You pause when you see them all staring at you before awkwardly smiling and going to the kitchen to grab more popcorn.
Lyla and Gigi sent you out because they got it last time, but that's when there wasn't a group of guys you hardly knew in the living room.
Jay nudges Jake's shoulder before glancing to the kitchen, hesitating a beat before standing up and walking over.
You're looking through the five different popcorn options, who even needs that much popcorn anyway.
He watches as you choose the ‘extra butter’ one before speaking “Good choice” He says, walking further into the kitchen
“Oh- um thanks, it's the best one” You say, opening the microwave to put the popcorn in, he looks down at your legs, then back at your face when you turn around
“Y/n right?” He says, watching your face
“Yeah, I know who you are already though.” fingers toying with the end of your hoodie
“Oh? You've been to a game?” He says, taking a step closer
“No- I mean, I don't really watch football like that or anything- or sports” You say, looking back at how much time is on the popcorn, 50 seconds.
50 more seconds of this extremely weird interaction between you and one of the most popular guys in school.
He notices, he doesn't like that. “Y’know we have the same 3rd block.”
“Oh- AP Anatomy & Physiology?" You ask, but you know exactly what he's talking about, how could you not. He’s the 9th one to arrive in class everyday, everyone swarms his desk like a bunch of baby ducks just to talk to him.
“Yeah, I sit in the third row-” He's pauses when the beep of the microwave interrupts him, you silently thank the universe before pulling the popcorn out and mumbling something like “enjoy your movie” before practically running back to the movie room, leaving Jake confused, but also intrigued, most girls fall to their knees the second he gets within a 5 feet radius, so why did you just run away..
He walks back to the living room, sitting down, “Told you, easy ones only” Heeseung says through a laugh
୨♡୧
You're the first person to walk into AP Anatomy & Physiolgy on Monday, as always. You take your usual assigned, unassigned seat in the back row by the window, unpacking your bag, getting settled.
Your teacher walks in shortly after, she’s gotten used to you being here first. “Y/n” she says over the silence “Yes?”
“Are you okay with talking about how you're offering tutoring?” setting her own stuff down
"I'll have you do it at the end of class.” she adds. “Oh- yeah, I printed flyers for it too.” You say, and she smiles.
The students slowly file in, your eyes flick up to the door when the 9th person comes in. Jake.
The second he walks in his eyes are on you, you don't know why you feel hot all the sudden, like someone turned up the heater when he looks at you
Barely having any time to take in his outfit, you tap your pen on your paper, hoodie and jeans maybe?
You stop when you see the familiar frame take a seat next to you- Why is Jake sitting next to you, does he not always sit in the third row- You don't look at him, instead looking down at his shoe in your peripheral vision, because it would be weird to look at him. Even if you do feel his eyes on you.
The class flies by, you write down whatever your teacher puts on the board, trying not to be distracted by the noticeable presence beside you, if he had an aura around him, it would be clashing into yours because this whole time you've been weirdly affected by his close proximity.
“..And y/n has something to say as well.” Your teacher says, pulling you from your thoughts,you watch as everyone's heads turns to you before you stand up and walk to the front, clearing your throat
“Hi- im offering tutoring for anyone who needs extra help, any subject, um- here are the flyers if you're interested.” you say quickly before placing them on the teachers desk and walking back to your seat.
There's nothing you hate more than public speaking like that, you try to subtly calm your breathing. Jakes eyes are focused on you the whole time.
As soon as the bell rings you’re practically already out the door, Jake watches you stand up abruptly and rush out before he goes to the teachers desk to grab one of the flyers.
୨♡୧
“I don't know- she didn't even spare me a glance, like at all.” Jake says, setting his bag down on the bench in the locker room
“I told you, she doesn't talk to guys like that” Jay mutters, tying his shoe
“Pretty boy lost his charm huh?” Heeseung chuckles, shutting the door behind him
“Not completely” Jake says, pulling out your tutoring flyer from his bag
“You sneaky motherfucker-” Sunghoon eyes him, grabbing the paper from his hands
“Holy shit- you're actually going through with that?” Heeseung looks over Sunghoon's shoulder
“Just to prove a point?” Sunghoon asks
Jake doesn’t have time to reply before the Coach comes in, yelling at them to ‘get the fuck out the locker room’
୨♡୧
As soon as you get home, you pause when you see a suitcase by the door. “Oh y/n- took you long enough, you remember Chris right?” She say’s coming out of her room with a duffel bag
“The guy you went on a date with?” You ask, seting your backpack down
“Yeah, the rich one” She says with a smirk
“Anyways, he’s taking me to Boston for a trip!” She says excitingly
“Boston- what? Didnt you just meet him though?” You ask, brow raising in confusion
“I think he might be the one” She says smiling, the same smile she’s put on every time she says that.
“Um- well how long?” you ask, trying to register this whole thing
“Hmm- like 2 and half weeks-”
“2 and a half?! Mom- what the hell?”
“Calm down, I hate when you get like this y/n.” She says, putting her duffel bag on her shoulder
“Theres money for food, and whatever you need on the counter. It's not like I'm leaving you here to starve.”
“But-”
“Shit- I gotta go, ill call you when we land okay?” She says, giving you an awkward side hug before rushing out, leaving you confused as ever. This is what always happens though so you don't know why you're confused. She’s probably just doing it for the money anyway. Marry a rich man, use him to provide for us. It's pathetic.
The time was 9:46 when you receive the message. A number you don't know, you click on it
Unknown: Hey, Is this y/n?
You: Who is this?
Unknown: I got this number from your tutoring flyers
sitting up, this is the first person to actually text you about that
You: Oh yeah, what subject do you need help with?
Unknown: AP Anatomy & Physiology
You: Okay perfect, I have an A in that class so I can definitely help
You get your notebook out and a pencil
You: How soon do you want to start? And what's your first and last name
Unknown: Can we start tomorrow? I have practice everyday except Tuesdays
Practice? No way. You feel your heart beat pick up, This cant be–
Unknown: First names Jake, last names Sim.
The Jake Sim is texting you, about.. Tutoring. Is he not one of the top students though? You take a deep breath before typing back a reply
You: Okay, Tomorrow works. Does after school in the library work for you?
Jake Sim: Yeah im good with that
Jake Sim: I’ll see you tomorrow y/n
You shut your phone off, trying to ignore the way your palms are sweating a little too much right now, who even uses peoples names like that in messages?
Jake smiles down at his phone before swiping out of the chat.
୨♡୧
You're early. You're also early everywhere you go. You already set up your computer, and notebook with his name at the top, even after you erased it 3 times.
He walks in, you notice immediately, looking up from your paper, his hair is framing his face, no glasses today. White shirt with jeans. He smiles before sitting down across from you, you smile back, trying to seem less awkward.
You try to remind yourself, this is a mere tutoring lesson, so you'll act like it.
“So I just need to know what you're struggling on before we actually get into the teaching stuff.” you say looking at him, his eye contact is intense, it's hard to hold it.
He pulls out his own notebook
“Mainly muscle contractions,heart anatomy, and” He pauses before looking up at you “-Hormones.” You hesitate a beat before writing that down under his name. He notices.
“Okay, I can work with this- is there anything specific you don't understand? Is it a focusing thing?” You ask, genuinely concerned “I actually pulled up your average and you seem to be doing fine-”
“It's my memory” He says quickly “I have a hard time understanding, when the teacher talks it doesn't really comprehend well.”
“Oh- that's completely normal, are you more hands on?” You ask
He smirks “And visual.”
You look like you're actually deep in thought “Okay so, we would need to do more interactive studying, makes sense.” You say writing more stuff down
He watches you, the way your brows furrow in thought.
“Are you going to the game next Friday?” He says, your eyes flick up to him, confused at the sudden question
“I don't really go to football games or anything- Thats more Lyla and Gigi” You say, eyes traveling down for a split second when his tongue wets his bottom lip
“You should come” He says casually, like time has no affect on him
“We really should stay on task“
“If I pass the test next week will you come?”
Your caught off guard by the question, his heavy gaze on you making it worse
“Um- I’ll think about it” You say before writing more stuff down, he smiles slightly
୨♡୧
The next week goes by quickly, thankfully. Your mom has only called once, claiming she forgot to say she landed, even if it was a day later.
Home is lonely, its quiet but its good for studying. Your thoughts drift to Gigis family sometimes, even though her and her brother argue half the time, at least she has someone.
You’re pulled from your thoughts when you hear your name being called, not by the familiar voice of your friends but by..Jake?
Lyla and Gigi both look behind you, eye brows raised as he comes closer, standing infront of your table in the cafeteria
You watch the way people look at him, the heads turning to you, the attention—it’s too much
“Y/n” He says looking down at you
“I might be a little late for tutoring today, coach wants to talk to us about the game.” He says, making Lyla and Gigi’s eyes flick between you two
“Um- Okay, But you couldn’t have messaged me that?” you say, trying to ignore the gazes on you from people you’ve never spoken to in your life.
“I mean you were already here so-“
“Yeah just text me next time okay?” You say, avoiding eye contact
He looks over at his friends, watching their snickers. Oh hell no.
You think he’s going to walk away by now but he sits down, right next to you. That makes Lyla's jaw practically drop
“Why? You don’t like talking to me?” He says, watching you intently
“I never said that- you just cause a lot of..attention.” You say, looking around before looking at him
“You don’t like attention?”
“Not from this many people.” You say standing up, grabbing your bag
“Where are you going-“
“I have to go.” You mumble before putting your bag over your shoulder and walking out the cafeteria, not looking back because you know if you do, everyones eyes will be on you.
As soon as the doors shut behind you, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“Really?” Gigi asks, watching Jakes confused face
“You realize you’re like a magnet for attention right?” Lyla says
“And there’s nothing she hates more then that.”
“I was just asking her about tutoring.” Jake says, standing up to walk back to his friends
“Nice job man, you really do still got it huh?” Heeseung says through a smirk, making the others stifle their laughs
“Should’ve put money on it” Sunghoon adds, earning a glare from Jake
୨♡୧
Jake came in late like he said, 15 minutes to be exact. He looked out of breath, like he ran here.
The tutoring session was fine, you kept that professional exterior even if you were trying not to feel embarrassed about earlier, thankfully he didn't bring it up.
“Aren't hormones just when you're horny?” He asks, pencil raised above his paper, looking at you
You pause “Did you really just ask me that-” You didn't mean to say it out loud but you did, it makes him let out a chuckle, he bites his lip, something he does often, a little too often. To the point where you can't help your eyes follow when he does it.
“Okay um, let me think of how to word this” you say, looking down at your paper before back up at him “It’s not just what makes you- ‘horny’ but I guess that could be a way to describe it, a more..scientifical word is Steroid Hormones..”
He watches you talk, even if what your saying is hardly registering to him, because not only are you talking to him about sex hormones or whatever it is, but you're not wearing the same knit sweater you had on earlier, you must have taken it off, because he cant pull his eyes away from the way your tits look in that tank top-
“Jake?” Your voice cuts through his thoughts, his eyes find yours again.
“How are you supposed to pass this test when you can’t even focus?” You ask, completely unaware of how he was just looking at you
“Shit- sorry, what were you saying” He says a little bit more nervously than he intended, why is he so damn nervous, why do you even make him nervous?
“Hm, you need something to do with your hands.” You say casually, taking him by surprise
His mind races with what you mean, please, please ask him to finger you.
He pauses when you pull out a rubix cube, a fucking rubix cube and hand it to him- what the fuck is he supposed to do with this shit?
“You said you were more hands on, one of the other students I tutor is also like that. Whenever she uses that, it's like she’s more focused, you should try it.” You say smiling, encouraging.
He doesn't know why he feels relieved when he hears the word ‘she’, but he does.
He takes the object from your hand, fidgeting with it for a few seconds before you continue
The rest of the lesson is smooth, who knew a rubix cube would actually work. You try to stay focused yourself though.
The constant bounce of your leg to settle whatever your feeling when you watch the way his fingers work the object in his hand, it should be illegal to have that many veins in the first place.
Later that night, in one of your moments where you give yourself a break from studying.
Heating up the leftover pasta you made the other night, you get a text. Your body reacts before your mind does, heartbeat picking up
Jake Sim: I tried the practice test thing you showed me earlier
Jake Sim: Got a 100%
You smile, when he sends a picture of his laptop, the score on it saying just that
You: Good job
He frowns at his phone, that's all? No titty pic as a reward?
Jake Sim: Guess I'll be seeing you at Friday's game then :)
You: Well see if your studying shows then
Jake Sim: I'll make sure it does
୨♡୧
“Y/N!” you hear Jake yell after you, you stop to turn around, seeing him walking up to you, leaving Heeseung and Jay’s side as he comes into step beside you.
You’re still not used to the pointed looks you get from the people around you, but you're training yourself to pretend they aren't there.
Heeseung and Jay watch as Jake rushes to you like a damn puppy, looking at each other.
He hands you a paper, you take it looking down at the big 100% on the top “You actually did it!” You say smiling, before looking up at him beside you
He puts a hand on his chest, with a fake gasp “And to think you doubted me” He stops at the cafeteria door, pulling you aside before you walk in, facing you away from the people who keep looking at you. The nosy motherfuckers who can’t help but take attention to you ever since he’s became—friends? With you.
“So you'll come to the game then right?” He asks, doing that thing where he bites his lip
“Thats what we agreed on, plus Lyla and Gigi are going too” You say, watching the way his eyes light up
The last few people file in the cafeteria, leaving you and him alone.
“Y’know what the theme is right?” He asks, and this time you're genuinely caught off guard- theme? He notices your confusion right away
“Every game has a theme, pretty sure this one’s western, like cowboys and shit” He says watching your face, the way your eyebrows knit in uncertainty
“Lyla and Gigi didn't tell you?”, you shake your head softly
“Im surprised- they always go like all out for the themes” He says through a quiet laugh
Great. That only means they are going to make you go all out too.
You both pause when the final bell rings, walking in to the cafeteria like its the most normal thing, your steps falter when you feel the eyes on you, you look at your friends before glancing at Jakes group- why are they all staring at you-
“I’ll see you later y/n” He smiles before walking to his table, you sit down in front of Lyla and Gigi who are both looking at you knowingly
“What?” you say through an awkward laugh
“You know damn well what” Lyla says through a smirk
“Tutoring my ass” Gigi adds back
“Girl I do not look at my tutor like that” Lyla says, holding back a laugh
“Like what-?”
“Like I want to eat him the fuck up- because thats how The Jake sim was just looking at your ass-” You almost choke on your water, making her and Gigi laugh
You look down at the table to hide your blush “Well, you guys also didnt tell me there was a theme at the game.” You say, crossing your arms
“Okay when was the last time you checked the group chat y/n” Gigi asks, you pull out your phone
“This morning..” You say scrolling through the message thread
Lyla: Okay so what are we wearing tn
Gigi: Themes cowboy right?
Gigi: You know how much my mom and dad LOVE that costume shit
Gigi: I have so much stuff for it at my house
Lyla: Wow gigi inviting us over
Gigi: I can take u guys home after school
Lyla: YES
Lyla: We have to look GOOD, especially you y/n
Lyla: For you know
Gigi: Jake
Lyla: Okay shes probs not even on her phone
You swipe out, just to see if your mom said anything, you click on the messages to see a sunset picture and city buildings, typical.
“So, can you come?” Lyla asks
“Yeah sure- but we don’t have to go all out right?”
They look at each other before looking at you, the smile on their faces tells you everything you need to know
୨♡୧
“This feels like a lot..” You say looking at your outfit in her bedroom mirror
“No y/n- you look like, hot.” Lyla says, choosing one of the 7 cowboy hats Gigi brought out
“This is the final touch” She says before putting it on your head
This is quite literally the opposite of you, completely. It’s something you would never wear if it weren't for them, you wonder what your old self before you transferred schools would think. From the white fitted shirt, to the jean skirt, down to the—cowboy boots..
You adjust the red bandana on your neck so its not choking you uncomfortably
Gigi watches your worried face “I promise the others will be doing 10x more than us.” She reassures you, you look at them in the mirror, Lyla's shorts that hug her curves, Gigi’s shirt that compliments her body perfectly.
This feels very..them. You can't help but feel like an outsider trying to fit in.
“Jake will love it” Lyla says, hiding her smirk
“What- Jake?” The thought of Jake seeing you in this makes you nervous..but also exited? What would he think, would he expect you to wear this?
You're pulled from your thoughts when the man himself sends you a message
Jake Sim: Hey y/n were gonna grab food after the game
Jake Sim: Wanna come?
Jake Sim: Lyla and Gigi can come to
Jake Sim: I already told Jay not to bitch abt it lol
Your fingers hover over the screen
"Quadruple text is crazy” Lyla says through a smile
Gigi peaks over your shoulder “I do not want to hang out with my brother for fun.” She says, rolling her eyes
“Come on Gi! The others will be there too and! Heeseung’s fine ass” Lyla says, looking in the mirror to adjust her push up bra
Gigi just puts on her boots with a shrug
“Y/n say yes please!” Lyla says, practically jumping up and down
“Fine- fine”
You: Yeah sure.
“Um- Thats all?” Lyla asks
“What do you mean?”
“I don't know, maybe say something like ‘I'm so excited!’ or ‘good luck!- you know what just give me the phone.” Lyla says snatching it from your hand and sending a message
You: Good luck Jakey! I'll be cheering you on! ;)
“What the hell- is there a way to delete this, how do I-”
“Really Ly? He’s gonna know thats not y/n, she like never uses emojis” Gigi says cringing
“Maybe if he wins he'll give you good dick?” Lyla says shrugging
Your face goes red, this topic, talking about him-
“Yeah so that definitely wasn't her” Jake says putting on his cleats
“Jakey? Really?” Sunghoon mimicks
“I wouldn’t doubt if Lyla took her phone honestly.” Jay mutters
“Lyla's coming right?” Heeseung asks, putting on his jersey
His friends look at him “Why?”
“I mean shes hot as fuck dude, plus she totally looks at me all the time” He adds, fixing his hair in the locker mirror
“Yeah she's coming” Jake says, looking back down at the messages
୨♡୧
When you, Gigi, and Lyla get to the game a little earlier, they were not joking about people going all out. Compared to everyone else, your outfit was tame to say the least.
You three find a spot in the bleachers, your eyes scanning the field for one specific person.
You watch him, he’s drinking water on the side right now- his helmet is in his other hand, how can someone look so good drinking water.
You watch as Heeseung nudges Jake's shoulder beside him, and then Jake's eyes are on you
“Holy fuck” He says to Heeseung
You cant see what they’re saying
“I mean she looks like a cowboys wet dream” Heeseung says, smirking
Jake gives him a pointed look, before turning back to you, the distance is good enough for him to see the way your skirt clings to your legs, and how good that shirt looks on you, Fuck.
He waves at you, you look behind to see if it was someone else but there's no one behind you yet, you turn back to see him smiling at you before offering a small wave back
Lyla and Gigi are both watching from beside you, eyes flicking between you and Jake
You watch as Heeseung yells at him, and as he puts his helmet on before running over to him, a smile that wont go away ever since he saw you plastered on his face
“You sure you're not just doing this for the love of the game” Heeseung says, putting in his mouth guard
It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A statement that might be right. Because this doesn't feel like some childish bet anymore.
The first half of them game goes well, you dont really understand much. But from the way Lyla, Gigi, and the rest of the students are cheering, thats definitely a good sign. “Im going to get water, do you guys want any?” you say, stepping off the bleachers
“Yeah- soda?” Lyla says, before looking back at the field where a very sweaty heeseung is spraying water in his mouth
You nod before walking to the concessions, the line isn't too bad, so you just pull out your phone to scroll, when two girls come behind you, you wouldn't care normally but its what they're talking about that makes your hand pause over your screen
“I mean he hasn't even looked at me this whole time, which is crazy because not even a month ago he had me sucking his dick!” One of the girls says, you look down to see pink cowboy boots
“His very big dick” Her friend says
“Ridiculously big. Fuck I miss it im not gonna lie.”
“Isn’t he fucking with a new girl now though?” You hear her friend say, you watch as the person in front of you takes way too long to order
“Yeah some nerd ass bitch, teachers pet apparently”
“I don't know Clara, she's like hella smart”
You shut your eyes for a second, Clara, you recognize that name. That's the same girl who yelled at Jake in the cafeteria that one time
“I don't care how smart she is, that's literally my man”
“Girl- he literally dropped your ass in front of the whole cafeteria..”
Your attention is brought back when it's your turn to order, you pay for the drinks before going back, doing your best to avoid turning around.
“Y/n?” Lyla says, when you hand her the sprite
“You look like you've seen a ghost, are you good?” Gigi asks, concern laced in her tone
“Yeah im good” You say offering a tight smile, the bandana on your neck suddenly feeling too tight.
It feels like someone has their hand around your heart, squeezing it, because why did hearing those things make you feel this way– Why is Jake even talking to you? Why did he even invite you in the first place?
You watch as the starting players go back on the field, but your mind can't focus when all these questions are flooding in. What does someone like him even want with you.
୨♡୧
You look down at your phone
Jake Sim: Hey me and the guys will be out in 5 mins
You read the message, before putting your phone in the pocket of your skirt, people are still hanging around, the players usually shower after a game apparently.
Exactly 5 minutes later Jake comes out, jeans, and a black zip up hoodie with a white shirt underneath, his bag is on his shoulder, his hair is still wet from the shower, and you cant help the heat that goes to your face when he waves to you.
You look past him to see the rest of his friends coming out behind him, you see Heeseung whisper something in Jake's ear that makes him roll his eyes.
“Good job- you were great out there” You say, fixing the cowboy hat on your head
“I had good motivation” He says, eyes on your face before they drift to your clothes, finally seeing you up close like this.
“Alright can we go now? Im hungry as fuck.” Jay says, interrupting the moment
You turn to Lyla, who's talking to Heeseung, then to Gigi who shrugs
“Y/n, I can drive us” Jake says, bringing your attention back to him
“Oh its fine I dont-”
“That's a great Idea!” Lyla says a little too loud, making everyone's eyes go to her
“Theres not enough room in Gigi's car for all of us anyway, so it works out” She adds, calculating smile plastered on her face, she ignores the pointed look you give her
“Alright yeah whatever can we just go now before I die of starvation” Jay says, making Gigi roll her eyes “fat ass.” She mutters before walking to her car
“You did not just call me a fat ass Gi- Weren’t you the one who ate all the fucking leftovers-” You and Jake watch them walk to the car, before you and him walk to his.
You curse Lyla for leaving you with him like this- when he smells so good and his hair is wet, and his hands-
“You look really pretty,” He says, putting his bag in the trunk before opening the passenger door for you. “Thank you-” You reply back quietly, trying to ignore the way your heart hammers in your chest.
But how many other girls has he said that too- that girl Clara?
He gets in the Drivers seat, and starts the car, watching the way you look out the window. Immediately noticing the way you shift
“So, for the first football game you went to, how was it?” he says pulling out of the parking lot
You turn slightly to look at him, the way his face concentrates on the rode, but also managing to talk to you “It was fun” You smile before looking back out the window
“Did you get anything from the concessions? I heard they added slushies and stuff.” He says, tapping his finger on the steering wheel, trying to seem unbothered by the way your energy shifted the second you stepped foot in his car
The mention of drinks has your mind going back to the conversation you heard earlier, what if those girls had knew you where the one they were talking about–
“Yeah just some, um..water and stuff” You say, trying to avoid the way his eyes are pinned on your head
4 minutes of silence pass, except for the low music playing from the speakers, and the car's engine.
“Is everything good?” He asks, eyes flicking between you and the road ahead
“What– yeah of course, why wouldn't it be.” You say quickly, fingers toying with the hem of your jean skirt.
He doesn't buy it.
Your brows furrow in confusion when he pulls over, looking at him as he puts the car and park “What are you doing-”
“Tell me what's wrong” he says, hand still on the steering wheel, but eyes on you
“Nothing's wrong?” You feel that familiar heaviness on your chest
“Y/n. you can't even look at me, did I do something?” He asks, knuckles white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel
“You can tell me whatever it is-”
“Why do you talk to me?” You ask, finally looking at him
“I..I just don't understand– all the sudden it goes from you not even looking at me, and then you're asking to be tutored by me, and then you invite me to your game, and then im in your car-” you continue, your heart beat rising with how much words you're saying in one breath. He doesn't interrupt you.
“And I really didn't think you needed to be tutored, honestly, you're one of the top students in our class- no, in our grade. But I did anyway, it honestly just feels like you pity me. Because why would someone like you want to be friends with someone like me– It just doesn't make any sense.” You stop, breathing in heavy breathes, too aware of how close he is right now, how he's looking at you.
“I don't pity you y/n. I like spending time with you.” He says, watching your face
“Fuck- I mean, I took the flyer and the tutoring because I wanted to spend that time with you- whenever I tried to talk to you any other way you just– blew me off?” He says, contemplating his words
He looks down at his hands before back up at you, noticing the way your features slightly soften
He lifts his hand to take the hat off your head, so he can fully see your face
“Why would someone like me want to be friends with you?” He repeats your question, you didn't realise how close you two got, faces nearly an inch away from each other
“I don't want to be friends y/n. I want more than that–I fucking crave more than that” His gaze drops to your lips, a silent question
“Jake-” You whisper out before he presses his lips to yours,you instantly melt at the contact, your hand finds the collar of his shirt, attempting to tug him closer over the center console, his hand holds the back of your head, threading his finger in your hair, he moves his lips against yours, slowly, testing, you follow his lead, letting go instead of taking control. He feels the way you let him, unable to hold the small groan that travels its way to your mouth through the kiss.
You pull back, breathing hard, opening your eyes to look at him, his lips have a slight shine from your saliva, he licks them before looking into your eyes.
You don't know what you're doing, you've never even done anything like this before, but the way he’s looking at you, like you absolutely wrecked him gives you a new found confidence.
You sit up, before moving to get over the center console, he just watches you as you settle on his lap, his hands immediately resting on your waist “y/n-”
“just kiss me” You say, and he doesnt hesitate before pressing his lips against yours, this time its lessed controlled, he doesnt hold himself back.
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, his hands are touching everywhere, sliding up and down your back, before cupping your ass in his hands making you gasp into his mouth, he swallows that down, tongue running over your bottom lip.
You feel the heat pooling between your legs, shifting slightly, which makes him let out a broken sound before looking down, the way your skirt is riding up, how you’re sitting right on his hardening cock, he looks back at your face, kissing the corner of your mouth before he pulls you on him more, the friction making you let out a quiet sound– he needs to fucking hear it again, and you need to feel it again.
It starts off slow, testing, in the way you roll your hips on him, you watch him throw his head back “Fuck, baby-” You grind down a little harder, in response to the name, he rolls his hips with you, the seam of his jeans catching your clit just right through your underwear, enough to make you let out small sounds that has his eyes rolling
He leans in to kiss you again, hands splayed on your ass to pull you impossibly closer, the kiss is desperate, frantic, tongues moving together in a rhythm like you were made for each other, there's no leader, no follower, this is just- the two of you.
“J-jake–” you let out, biting your lip when he grinds up, hitting the perfect spot, hes pulling you against him, controlling the way your hips move, fingers digging into the soft flesh through your skirt, He slides his hand underneath the denim fabric, to really feel you, groaning into your mouth at how warm and soft you are in his hands.
“You’re going to kill me-” You both freeze when a loud ringtone comes from his phone.
“Shit- I forgot about the plans” he says, looking at his phone
Jay: Dude where the hell are you
Jay: Im srsly abt to order with out you
Sunghoon: we got u and y/n waters
Jay: -Missed call-
“We should probably-”
“Yeah”
The warmth of your body is removed like a flash when you sit back down in the passenger seat, fixing your skirt, he tries to ignore the way his dick is throbbing in his jeans right now. Instead he watches you, the flush on your cheeks, the small smile that's barely noticeable
“What?” You say through a chuckle, noticing his stare
“Im just really lucky” He says, before putting the car into drive and getting back on the road, even when you two get out of the car, walking into the restaurant, you’re still thinking about what he said.
Because no one has ever told you they were lucky to have you.
୨♡୧
The next week of school is fun, and easy. You still decide to tutor Jake, because he said it really helped him.
Even if it did lead to small kisses, you definitely weren't complaining. People still look at you two when you walk together in the hallway, he even invited you to sit with him in the caferitria with his friendgroup, they are actually really nice to you.
The best part is seeing Gigi and Jay argue, it's like having your own show to watch while you eat
You don't miss the way Heeseung and Lyla look at each other, or when coincidentally the both of them are late for lunch.
Under the table, Jake's hand is splayed across your thigh, everytime he laughs he squeezes it slightly, which makes you try and close them, but he notices. He notices everything when it comes to you.
“..And not to mention Gigi’s parents bought the good ice cream” Lyla says, practically about to burst from excitement
“Okay so it's like a pool party then?” Sunghoon says, raising his eyebrow
“Well, just like with us though.” Gigi says
“Im not trying to have half the school trash the house, especially when mom and dad get back tomorrow.” She adds, you watch Jay nod
“Im in” Heeseung says, turning to watch Lyla “Perfect! What about you and Jake?” She says turning to you both
“Yeah im down” he smiles before looking at you
“Um- Ill have to check, but ill text you when I get home” You say, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear
“Okay, perfect!” She squeals
“Just come over any time after school then” Jay says
You nod before glancing down at your phone, re reading the message from your mom
Mom: Me and Chris decided to stay a little longer, you have enough money for food still right?
Jake watches you “Are you okay?” he says, quietly so no one else can hear
“Oh yeah- im fine” You say, putting your phone down and smiling
୨♡୧
“I can't do this.” You say as soon as you close Gigi’s bedroom door behind you
They both look at you as you pull out the bathing suit from your tote bag, you watch Gigi cover her mouth to stifle a laugh
“You can’t be serious” Lyla says, standing up to take the middle school one piece swimsuit from your hands
“This thing is hideous” She holds it up in the air
“Im not one to judge but you absolutely cannot wear that y/n” Gigi says, standing up to look at it closer
You bury your face in your hands, sitting down on her bed
“I brought like 5 different bathing suits, plus Gigi has a shit ton, and you are most definitely borrowing one.” Lyla says, emptying her bag on the bed, you glance at the small strings, and shapes before looking up at her
“What? I wanted to bring my slutty ones, I thought Heeseung would like them” She says smiling proudly
“And im sure jake will” She adds, wiggling her eyebrows
“You’re so ridiculous Ly” Gigi mutters before tying her hair in a bun
You pick up a red triangle bikini top, and Lyla nods
“Good choice, these are the bottoms” She says, holding them up
“These are bottoms? Like swimming bottoms?” you say, taking them from her hand
“Yup! Just try it on at least” She smiles sweetly, waiting for your approval, you nod
“Come downstairs when you’re done okay?” Gigi says, opening her bedroom door.
You look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, The bathing suit fits well, it's just..small. Like if you make one wrong move you'll definitely flash someone. You turn around to see how it looks from the back, not completely terrible- just a bit cheeky?
You think Jake might like it, not to mention the fact that you chose the red one because he mentioned he liked that color.
You pause when you hear the sound of male voices, they must be here. You take one last look at yourself before opening the door and almost getting knocked to your ass when you collide with something hard
“Shit- y/n?” You look up, Jake–Your eyes take in his form, the swim trunks, the white tank top perfectly stretched across his chest. His hair, messy, yet perfectly styled, before looking at his face. He’s smiling down at you
You're suddenly aware that you're practically half naked in front of him, You weren't even planning on going in the water, except for your feet–you need to grab your shorts and put them on “I was just uh, I just need my shorts–”
His hand trails down your shoulder, grabbing your hand before placing it on his chest, over his heart, you feel the fast beats of it, almost in sync with how quick yours is "You're making me nervous” he whispers, he takes a step forward so he's in the bathroom with you, shutting the door behind him softly
He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, testing to see your reaction before he pulls back to look down at you, you put your hands on his shoulders before leaning to kiss him again, he reacts immediately, hands on you the second you touch him, his hand starts at your waist before moving down to cup your ass in his hand, you gasp at the feeling, he kneads the flesh in his hands, squeezing it while kissing you deeper “You look so fucking good baby” He says through heavy breaths, looking at your face
He moves until your pressed against the counter, before lifting you up on it, your legs spread slightly to make room for him, while keeping your lips on his.
The kiss is messy, desperate, his hands are on your hips, and you let out a muffled sound when he presses his hips against you, you feel it, the hardness of him against your thigh, you pull back to see the desperate look on his face, the way his cheeks are slightly red, his lips looking even more plump from your kisses
He takes his right hand from your waist, splaying it on your thigh, before he looks into your eyes, you nod.
You watch his hand inch higher, grazing your inner thigh, his finger tip brushes your core, making you shiver at the contact, he watches you intently before pressing his fingers against you, making you let out a shaken breath
Leaning in to brush his lips across your jaw, before slipping his fingers underneath the waistband of the bathing suit bottoms, finally feeling your warmth “Fuck, you’re so wet–” He says, looking down before kissing your neck, softly, reassuringly
He starts with small circles around your clit, testing to see what makes you feel good, your legs spread wider when he does small figure eights on your clit, hands braced on his shoulders as he presses open mouthed kisses to your neck, trailing up to your ear
His middle finger brushes your entrance, lightly, while his other hand comes up to move the hair out of your face
“Have you ever been fingered y/n?” He asks, voice low, watching the way your chest falls and rises, you shake your head “Do you want to be?” He says, biting his lip “Y-yes, I want you to, Jake” He presses his hard cock against your thigh, groaning at the permission
He connects his lips to yours, you let him in instantly, tongues dancing together before he slowly guides his finger in your entrance, “breathe baby, you're so tight” he whispers against your lips, you close your eyes when his finger goes deeper, making you let out a quiet moan, his single digit stays there, embraced by your warmth before he curls it slightly making you whimper in his mouth “Jake– “ you let out through a wispy breathe
He moves his thumb to circle around your clit, in lazy motions “can you take another, baby? It’ll feel even better” kissing your cheek softly, you nod and he pulls out his finger, before inserting two digits, making you let out a desperate sound at the stretch.
He kisses you, in attempt to quiet you down, before moving his fingers in and out of you, curling inside, rubbing your clit with practiced ease
Seeing you like this, overhwemled by the pleasure he’s bringing you could make him come right now.
“You’re so perfect baby- this pretty pussy’s taking my fingers so well” He whispers, the filthy things making you clench around his fingers, he adds more pressure to your sensitive bud, “j-jake im gonna-“
“You gonna come for me baby?” slightly picking up the pace his fingers are moving, fucking them in and out of you.
Your moans are only getting louder, he move his other hand to cover your mouth, muffling them so the others don't hear down stairs, he feels your hole fluttering around your fingers, so he moves them even faster, making it his life fucking goal to have you come from this
His eyes dont know what to focus on, switching from the way your tits slightly bounce, to the way his fingers disappear inside you, or to the way you’re looking at him, the dazed half lidded look, he presses against your clit just right, making you clench hard on his fingers as you ride your orgasm out, moaning into his hand, your juices coating his fingers and dripping out, he brings his hand back down from your mouth, watching the way your breathing slows, before pulling out his fingers, the loss of contact making you whimper with how sensitive you are
He brings his fingers up to his lips, locking eyes with you before putting them in his mouth, sucking your arousal off, the sight makes you let out a breathy sound, you can feel your pussy throbbing at the sight from exitement
You’re blushing from the filthy act, he brings his lips to yours capturing you in a kiss, you can slightly taste your arousal on his tounge “You’re so beautiful–” you both freeze when a knock on the bathroom door slices the moment in half
“Jake are you in there man? We’re trying to choose pizza toppings– the girls said they dont care whats on the pizza, they just went outside claming they didnt want to ‘waste tanning time’ I dont know-” jay rambles on
“Yeah im in here, ill be down in a sec” Jake says, forehead resting on yours before he pulls back
“Alright- and if you find y/n tell her to come down too” Jay adds
You and Jake listen to the sound of retreating footsteps
“We should probably go down there” he says, pulling back and helping you get off the counter
“Yeah i just need to get some shorts-” You watch as he pulls your bottoms back up, adjusting them before leaning down to press one more kiss to your lips
“I’ll see you in a few minutes” He says with that familiar smirk on his lips, before walking out and shutting the door behind him, he leans against it for a second, still trying to process what just happened, before adjusting his extremely hard cock in his bottoms, and making his way downstairs.
You look in the mirror, pressing your fingers against your lips, the feeling of him kissing you lingering. Your body is still burning from the aftermath of your orgasm. You fix your hair in the mirror, going back to Gigi’s room to put on your shorts
And finally making your way down the stairs, you pause halfway when you hear Heeseung's voice
“Who y/n?” You hear him say
“Who else dumbass?” Sunghoon replies
They're talking about you. instead of going downstairs you stay there, just to see what they're saying
“Have you told her?” Jay asks
“No–I can’t fucking tell her that”
“Yeah you’re cooked” heeseung says flatly
Cooked?
“I really like her, And not in some casual hook up way okay? I don’t know whats going on, and im confused because ive never felt this way before about someone–” Jake says, breathing hard
“Shit-” You hear his friends say
“I dont give a fuck about some dumb bet, it was stupid of me–”
Your heart drops. Bet? What does he mean by that?
“God- Why couldn't you just go after her like a normal person” jay says frustratingly
“You realise she’s gonna fucking hate you if you dont tell her” he adds
You walk further down the stairs, watching the way all four of them look at you
“W-what bet” You let out, hating yourself for stuttering
Jake's face drops in realization that you heard that, you don't even look at his friends, the ones who made you think they actually liked you. You just watch him. It was all just some play–
“What bet Jake?” you say again, trying to calm your heartbeat, as he walks over to you, reaching for your hand
You swat his hand away “dont fucking touch me” and he flinches at that, hardly visibly. But he does.
“Y/n-” He starts, you watch as the back porch door slides open, Gigi and Lyla walking in, with confused looks at the way everyone’s frozen in place, before their gazes fall on you
“Im going home. I- I can't do this” You say, suddenly too aware of how everyone is looking at you, unable to even look in Jake's eyes, you turn around for the front door, Jake calls your name again but you don't hear it.
Not over the sound of your heart, not over the ringing in your ears.
You can't speak when it feels like someone has a wire around your throat and you can't breathe.
You shut the front door behind you, sitting on the stairs immediately, trying to calm yourself, trying not to cry. You can't cry. Not here.
You don't look behind you when you hear the door open and shut, please don't be Jake.
“Y/n do you want me to drive you home?” you let out a relieved sigh when you hear Gigi’s voice, before standing up and nodding.
Gigi knows you, she knows you don't want to talk right now, so instead of pushing you, she turns up the music, looking at you every now and then as you stare out the window.
“You all can eat shit” Lyla says looking at the four boys in the kitchen
“Espeicially you Heeseung, for not fucking saying anything.” She says before looking at Jake
“Ly-” Heeseung starts watching Lyla walk over to Jake
“How could you do that to her? You’re fucking terrible.” She says before storming upstairs, leaving the four of them
“I need to do something- I need to call her” Jake says pulling out his phone, Jay stop his hand
“She needs space Jake.” He says, watching him as he lowers his phone
“Fuck.” Is all he says, because Fuck himself for being so stupid, fuck him for hurting you, fuck him for not telling you sooner, if anything he doesn't deserve your forgiveness.
But the least he can do is try.
୨♡୧
You cried as soon as you got home. You held it until Gigi drove off, she offered to stay but you never have people actually come inside.
Part of you regretted it, because you wish you had someone to hold you, even as you crumbled to the floor as soon as you shut the front door.
But you have no one. Not even you’re own mother, whose out with her new boyfriend, living her best life and leaving you in the past, like always.
Later that night you try and rememebr anything—how could you not see through it, of course it was some bet. He didnt mean anything he said to you, and you were stupid to think the most popular guy in the school wanted to ‘spend time with you’
Even as you shower, the memory of his hands on you not even 24 hours ago is still jarred in your mind, the reassuring touches, the praise.. But it was all just fake.
You couldnt sleep. For good reason. Every time you tried to close your eyes, your mind kept going back, trying to over analyze the situation, trying to think of an excuse.
It was 12:49 when you got the message
Jake sim: Y/n, im so sorry
Jake sim: Don’t shut me out
Jake sim: Please
Jake sim: Baby
Your press your hand to your chest, like it would stop the painful feeling in your heart.
You never answered him. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, you finally fell asleep, you didn’t bother checking the time you did, because you knew you would just pity yourself.
୨♡୧
On Monday, you’re not the first one in class. Jake was. He sat in his seat next to yours, eyes flicking from your desk to the door, waiting for you to come in.
As soon as you walk in, he sits up straight, watching you walk, not towards the seat next to him but to some random one in the second row, where the guy who never shows up would sit.
He watches you take your stuff out of your bag, he looks down at the way your leg bounces, he hates himself because he knows he’s the reason you’re so fucking anxious right now.
The teacher talks like its any other day. Of course she would, she’s not going to stop the school day because he fucked up. When the bell rings you’re the first one out, he goes to call your name but stops when you rush out of the door.
“I almost beat Jay’s ass, like actually.” Gigi says before taking a bite of the cafeteria sandwhich
“Mom and dad nearly crashed out when they came home and saw I already was pulling his hair” She adds
“Can he stop fucking staring already” Lyla says, looking at you then at the table 3 rows behind where Jake was looking right at you
“Im going over there” Jake says to his friends
“Uh no dude- you’re fucking not” Sunghoon says, tugging him back down by his shoulder
Jake shrugs him off before getting up to walk over to you, ignoring the exaggerated sighs from his table
“Oh shit” Gigi mutters
“He’s like actively walking over here y/n” Lyla adds
You turn your head slightly to see him walking towards you, before standing up
“Im going to the bathroom.” You say, grabbing your bag and moving towards the door
Jakes steps falter when he watches you get up, he wants to yell at you, tell you to stop walking away from him so bad. But he knows that would make it worse. He doesn’t look at Lyla and Gigi before turning around and going back to his table.
His friends are silent when he sits down, the usual snickers, or comments don’t come.
You set your bag down by the sink, bracing your hands on it, looking in the mirror, “don’t cry, don’t cry” you whisper to yourself
“I mean I don’t get whats so fucking special about her, shes just like normal-“ You pause when you see two girls walk in, blonde, Clara.
“Well look who it is” She says walking further in, her friend beside her
“Jakes little slut” She coos, looking you up and down judgementally
“Im not-“ You start but she cuts you off
“I want you to stop talking to him.” she says, crossing her arms over her chest
“Clara-“ her friend starts
“No, this bitch needs to fuck off my man”
“You can have him.” You say, voice low
They look at each other confused
“I said you can have him.” you say, louder
“Just leave me alone.” you mutter, putting your bag over your shoulder
“The fuck-“ she starts when you walk past her before pulling you by your bag strap
She pulls your bag off your shoulder, making it fall to the ground with a thud, you don’t turn around.
You wait for the hit. Because you’re used to this, You close your eyes, tight. Trying to block off everything, when you hear Lyla
“What the fuck are you doing Clara?!” She yells, Gigi following in beside you
“Just teaching this bitch a lesson to not mess with my man-“
“Your man?” Gigi says with a scoff
“You need a fucking reality check because he does not want your ass” She adds, picking your bag up from the floor
Lyla comes infront of you “Y/n are you okay?” you nod, not because you’re okay, but because you have to be.
You block out the sound of them arguing, taking your bag from Gigi before walking out. Of course this would happen to you, and of course you’re running away.
୨♡୧
You dont talk about what happened the next day, they dont bring it up either.
They were laughing at something on Lylas phone when you got a text
Jake Sim: Are we still on for tutoring?
Jake Sim: In the library right?
You look back for a split second, over your shoulder to see him looking at you, his phone in his hand, you turn back around almost immediately, typing out a response, deleting it and typing it again
You: -Sent contact-
You: If you need tutoring so bad, he does Tuesdays too. Stop texting me.
You shut off your phone, putting it in your pocket, he watches.
Its like everything around him is silent. He cant fucking focus, coach even gave him shit for not doing good at practice yesterday. He tries to act normal, but the affect you have on him isn’t something that can go away.
“Earth to Jake” Heeseung snaps in his face to get his attention
“Motherfucker thinks he’s Jeff buckley” Sunghoon says through a snort
“Brought it on himself” Jay shrugs
“I need to get drunk” Jake says, running his hands through his hair, something hes been doing often lately
“And laid” Heeseung adds
“I can’t think about fucking another girl right now” He says, checking his phone again in hopes you sent a message
“I mean I heard Jungwon’s throwing a party after the game on Friday” Jay says, looking at the group
“Who’s going?” Jake asks
“Shit—if its Jungwon then probably half the school” Heeseung says, rubbing his jaw
“You know what, why not. The alcohol better not be shit” Jake says, making them laugh
୨♡୧
“Please y/n! We can come pick you up and everything, I know you’re not going to be doing anything either” Lyla says through the speakers of your phone
“Yeah, Fuck him, you deserve to go out, for once?” Gigi adds
“We know you’re not all that party type but just this once! Plus Jungwons house is nice as hell”
“I don’t know guys—What if he’s there?” you say worried, unlocking the front door to your house and shutting it behind you
“If he was going, Jay would have said something. I know they have a game tonight so I doubt they’re gonna wanna go to a party.” Gigi says, opening a bag of chips
“Okay but what am I supposed to wear?”
“Do you wanna get laid?” Lyla asks
“What—no”
“Im just kidding, wear that one black skirt I let you borrow and those low rise jeans”
“I never even wore it though-“
“Exactly why its perfect! Well come get you at 10, love you bye!” Layla says quickly before hanging up
You listen for Gigi, but all you hear is the faint sound of her arguing, presumably with Jay, before you hang up and set your phone on the counter.
You dont go to parties, ever. But here you are stepping out of your comfort zone, maybe its good that you’re. Maybe you need a change.
୨♡୧
“Oh hell no.” Gigi says once you all walk into the house, it's almost as big as hers, but you're not paying close attention to it because right now. instead you're watching Jake take down a shot in the kitchen.
It smells like cheap alcohol and sweat. The place is packed, you take your eyes off him and look around, you recognize faces you've seen around campus, and some you haven't
You watch as Gigi storms over to the kitchen to Jay “What the fuck are you doing here?” She asks Jay who looks at her like she has 2 heads “What am I doing here? Jungwon is my friend” He says back, you and Lyla walk over to the kitchen, following her.
You don't look at him. You can't look at him, but you can feel his eyes on you.
“I’ll tell mom and dad you ass-” Gigi starts
“Oh but that means they'll know you were here too” He says, faking a pout
“Shit” She replies, looking at you and Lyla
“Fine, truce.” She says, grabbing 3 red cups
You watch Jay hold out his hand, but she swats it away rolling her eyes before pouring whatever is in the bottles on the counter into the cups
“Drinks?” She says, handing you and Lyla the cups
“Please and Thank you, I need to find a hot guy to make out with” Lyla says taking the cup
“Im right here babe” Heeseung smirks, stepping closer to her
“Literally anyone but you” She says, walking away from the kitchen, you watch as he follows her
You hesitate a beat before taking the cup from her hand, Jake doesnt miss the way your eyes flick over to him for a split second
“Y/n can we-” He starts before a familiar obnoxious voice flows in the kitchen, Clara.
You watch as she walks in the kitchen, wearing practically nothing before she comes to his side, wrapping her arm around his.
“I think you have your hands full Jake.” You say before walking over to the living room with Gigi
“Get the fuck off me Clara” He says, moving his arm
Sunghoon and Jay both look at him with annoyed expressions on their faces
“Why Jakey? She said I can have you” Clara says, words slurred from the amount of alcohol she's consumed
“What?” He pushes her back, not to hurt, but enough for her to get off of him
He walks over to Gigi, glancing at Lyla and Heeseung who are practically eating each others faces on the other couch “Wheres y/n” He says, tone serious in a way that has Gigi sitting up
“Why-”
“Tell me where she is Gi, im not fucking around.” he says, watching Gigi point to the back porch
You turn around when you hear the door behind you open, leaning against the railing
“What are you-”
“Y/n- Fuck, please let me talk okay?” He says closing the door, the music and talking inside becoming a sound in the distance
“Jake, I can't right now” You say, looking down at your shoes as he walks over
“Please” His voice comes out slightly whiner than intended
“Baby, please look at me” He pleads, his composure gone. He’s done acting like he's okay with you avoiding him
You shake your head
He lets out a defeated sigh, you think he's going to walk away, give up.
You watch him lower himself to the ground getting on his knees just so you will look at him instead of the ground
“Y/n please listen to me” He looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowed together, his pupils are blown. He can’t believe hes actually fucking doing this.
When you don't say anything, the words spill out faster than he can catch up
“Im so sorry baby– Im an asshole and I hate myself for what I did, I should have just told you from the beginning about the bet-” he cringes at the word “-It was selfish of me and I understand why you don't even want to look at me, let alone talk to me.-“
“-But I like you, so fucking much, Ive never felt like this before, but you changed that for me. You’re smart, you’re fucking gorgeous, you’re too kind for your own good, and I want you so bad, I want you so fucking bad my chest hurts at the thought of not having you. Everything I said in the car that night was true. I like spending time with you and I don't want to be friends, because what I feel for you isn't friendship–” He stops, trying to catch his breath, looking up at you, searching your face for any reaction, any response
Your hand is shaking when it comes up to his face, slightly brushing his hair out of the way “I..” You close your eyes before opening them again, “I really like you too Jake. But you hurt me, I let you in and it feels like it was all just some trick.” You say, trying to hold the tears threatening to fall from your eyes
“No baby–It wasn't a trick, please, everything I said to you I meant it–” He leans forward resting his head on your stomach before looking back up at you
“Every touch, I meant it.” His hand comes up to hold your waist, before he stands up, looking down at you, placing his finger under your chin, before running his thumb along your bottom lip “Every word” His other hand pulls you closer to him “Every kiss.” He whispers, leaning down, lips grazing over yours “I meant it all.”
You're breathing against his mouth, hearts beating the same rapid pace “And I want it all–so bad, I want all of you y/n, I don't want you to hide from me, I don't want you to run” He says, cupping your face in his hands, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against yours
“Please-”
“I want it too Jake” You whisper
His eyes fly open, searching yours, before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, taking you slightly by shock with how desperate it is, his left hand slides from your face down to your waist, holding you close, like you would slip away if he let go.
He pulls back, just to see the look on your face, a single string of saliva keeping you two connected before he kisses your neck, whispering small “im sorrys” as he trails his lips along your jaw, making you let out breathy sounds that have him weak.
He captures your lips in a kiss again, tongue exploring your mouth in the way he’s been dreaming about ever since you started avoiding him.
He feels his cock hardening, he remembers the way he fucked his fist at the thought of having you like this again.
“Fuck–” He breathes out, before biting your lip lightly, making you let out a small whimper. “I.. I need you baby, please” He says, bringing his hand down to softly caress your ass in your jeans, you bring your hand up to pull him closer by the collar of his shirt to kiss him again before he pulls back “Not here.” He whispers, voice low, looking into your eyes with such intensity it has your knees weak.
With the way you're looking at him right now, he wants to do it now.
But he’s not having sex with you at some dumbass house party. He can't help the smirk on his face when you whine as he pulls away, grabbing your hand and leading you back inside, you don't look at anyone except him, as he guides you through the crowd, his hand clasping tight in yours, until you reach his car.
“What street do you live on?” He asks, looking at you, before pulling out onto the road, you hesitate, he notices “Y/n, no hiding” He says, putting his hand on your thigh. “167 EN drive” you reply back quietly, part of you hoping he wouldn't hear. But you remind yourself of the words he said earlier, he wants all of you, he said he craves it. So that’s what he'll get.
You watch his face as he pulls in your drive way, looking at your house. You don't see the look of hesitance, or disappointment you were expecting.
Your anxiety boils down when he steps out of the car, and comes to your side to open your door for you. “You’re not disappointed or anything?” You ask, voice slightly shaky
“Dissapointed?” He asks, genuinely confused
“I mean, my mom just doesn't make a lot– I know its not a good area to live in either-”
“Y/n, do you think I'd judge you for something as small as where you live?” He asks, shutting the passenger side door
“I just thought-”
“No. I’d be a fool to think like that. Nothing you do could make me judge you, the idea of doing that in the first place disgusts me.” He says, hand rising to brush his thumb on the side of your face, waiting for you to invite him in. He wants you to, he wants the reassurance that you trust him.
You walk to the front door, grabbing the key hidden under the mat before unlocking it, and stepping inside. You cringe at the slightly peeled paint on the walls, but also thankful that having the house to yourself means it's actually clean for once. He shuts the door behind him, watching the way you look around, the insecurity showing in your body language. He turns you around to face him, pulling you close before tilting your face up.
You look between his eyes and his lips before leaning up slightly, your lips grazing over his, before he speaks “tell me how bad you want this, tell me you want it as much as I do” He whispers, even though no one can hear him but you.
“I want it Jake– I want it so bad, I just want you..” you breathe out, and he closes the small space instantly, the feeling of your heart beating, the thrill of his lips on yours will never get old.
He lets you guide him to your room, before shutting the door behind him, he pulls back looking down at you. The needy look on your face as you try to catch your breath.
The room is dimly lit, the moon is bright from the clear sky, illuminating you, allowing him to see every emotion that flashes across your face.
He steps closer to you, hand coming to your waist, his thumb making small circles near the hem. You nod, and he slowly lifts your shirt above your head, eyes dropping to your chest, he can't help himself when his hand comes up to cup your tit in his hand, kneading the soft flesh through your bra. “Youre so beautiful” He says, guiding you until you land on your bed, He follows, on top of you in a second, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, it’s careful, timeless.
You kiss him back, lips desperately grasping onto each other as his hand trails down your stomach to the waistband of your jeans, your breath hitches, he pauses looking down at you “can I take these off?” He asks, “y-yes” you manage to let out, not sure how you can even get out words when he has you like this.
He unbottons your jeans, sitting up to slide them down your legs, throwing them on the floor before looking at you, taking you in, trying to savor this in his memory.
He watches the way your legs close, stopping them with his hand "Don't hide from me.” He says, pushing them open, looking down at the way your underwear sticks to your pussy, biting his lip at the sight, you let out a soft whine at being exposed like this, because no one has ever seen you this way, this vulnerable.
He presses a kiss to your neck, “Have you thought about this before?” He asks, tongue flicking on a new found sensitive spot under your ear, you nod. He lets his hand trail down your body before cupping your clothed cunt in his hand, you let out a quiet moan at the contact.
“Did you touch yourself thinking about it?” He kisses the spot under your ear, pulling the honesty out of you.
Your mind goes back to that night he kissed you in the car, how you made yourself come on your fingers at the memory of his hands on you later that night– “yes.” You say, the honesty makes him smile against your neck
“Can you show me?” He whispers, sitting up again, watching the way you willingly trail your hand down your body, slipping your fingers inside the waistband of your panties to brush your soaking clit, closing your eyes.
You open them again when the bed shifts, watching Jake as he takes off his shirt tossing it on the floor beside your pants, before removing his own, you press harder on your clit when your eyes meet the bulge in his boxers, there's no way that's fitting in you. He watches your reaction, "I'll make sure you're ready for it baby” He says, palming himself. You slide your underwear off your legs, the fabric was making it hard to really touch yourself anyway.
Your hand slides back between your legs, circling your clit, the same way he did that time in the bathroom. “Fuck–” He hisses, squeezing his dick at the way your hand comes up to toy with your nipple through your bra.
You watch as he climbs back in between your legs, leaning down to kiss your lips, trailing down past your neck, leaving a trail of wet marks until his face is hardly an inch away from your pussy.
You move your hand to grip the sheets beneath you “Jake..” You watch as he looks up at you from in between your legs. He blows on your clit, watching the way your pussy clenches around nothing. He presses small kisses to your thigh, grazing over your sensitive bud with his plump lips. “You have no idea how bad I've wanted to do this” He says before pressing an open mouthed kiss to your soaking cunt, you let out a moan at the contact, hands flying up to touch his hair as he repeats the motion.
You didn't even know you could be this vocal, but with him, eating you out like a starved man, how could you not.
He flicks his tongue over your clit, practically drooling onto your pussy, before pressing soft kisses “Tastes so fucking good” He mumbles into you, the vibration making your hips buck, his hand come up to hold your stomach down, so you dont squirm as much.
You watch him, his eyes are closed, face expressing true pleasure, your juices coating the bottom half of his face.
He looks up at you, burying his nose in your pussy, letting the bridge of it pressure your throbbing clit before he sucks on it, mouth clasped around your pussy, flicking his tounge, swirling it, you tug his hair harder, but he doesnt care because this is just too fucking good.
“Oh my gosh-” You let out when his finger comes up to collect your juices seeping from your hole before inserting the single digit inside of you, the sound of your pussy squelching, and him groaning into you has your back arches off the bed when he curls his finger, his tongue flicking over your clit, before he adds another, you've never felt this good in your life, you watch him, the way his brows furrow in concentration as he brings the most pleasurable experience upon you.
He fucks his fingers in and out of you, curling them just right, while his lips suck on your clit greedily, he looks up for a split second at the way your head is thrown back, before shoving his fingers deep, dick throbbing at the way you clench around them, taking your clit in is mouth, and sucking it, hard. You grip his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as you reach your orgasm, your whole body shaking “Jake!” You scream out through a moan as your juices coat his face, soaking the bed beneath you. He greedily licks, and slurps everything you let out, not letting anything go to waste, before looking up at you. He pulls his fingers out slowly, watching the way your body trembles.
You bite your lip as you watch him sit up again, your arousal coating his lips, he runs his tongue along them, savoring every drop.
He slides his boxers off, his dick hitting his abdomen, thick, heavy, and a bead of pearly white pre-cum at the tip, you watch as he spreads it on his tip, stroking himself in his hand. “You wanna know something?” He asks, watching the way your eyes flick between his face and his cock.
You nod quickly, making him smirk. “Ive dreamt about this moment almost every night. I remember waking up–” He looks down at your bare cunt, continuing “To see that I fucking came in my sleep.” You can't help the small gasp that leaves your mouth at the confession, "That's not all.” He says, pulling you closer, unclasping your bra and tossing it on the ground.
You bite your lip as the crisp air that hits your nipples, his finger comes up to toy with the sensitive bud, looking at your reaction, the little gasps that leave your lips “I fucked my fist so many times–everytime I imagined it was your pussy” He whispers, leaning down, letting his lips graze over your nipple, making you let out a desperate sound
“I thought about how you’d react when I did this–” He says before sucking on your nipple, his hand toying with the other one between his fingers making you moan, uncontrolled, you feel the way his cock rubs against your inner thigh.
He sits up, guiding his cock to your entrance, coating his tip with your juices from your previous orgasm. He slides the tip in slowly, letting your pussy adjust to the size, groaning, “Baby, I need you to relax okay? Can you do that for me?” He asks, finger rubbing circles on your inner thigh “mhm” you breathe out, before closing your eyes, trying to make yourself less tense as he slides more of his length in you
“Fuck- youre so warm” He says, hand moving to your hips to steady himself before bottoming out, a wrecked sound leaving his lips at the way your pussy clenches around him.
He leans down, head resing beside yours before lifting to look at you “Im going to move now, can you take it?” he asks, voice strained, but gentle “Please–” You let out through a whimper, he brings his lips to yours before pulling out halfway and thrusting back into you, making you moan into his mouth at the stretch. His cock reaching places you couldn't even imagine with your fingers, the feeling of being so full is almost euphoric.
“It's like this pussy was made for me baby–you feel so good” He whispers, sliding out of you again, and then back in, hips moving in an agonizing slow rhythm that has you holding onto his biceps and panting desperately in his mouth.
“F-faster?” you manage to let out, making him chuckle lightly “You sure?” he asks, looking down at you and the way you nod frantically. His lips suck at your neck as he picks up his speed thrusting in and out of you, hips rolling, enjoying every sound you let out.
Your nails dig into his arms, your pussy squeezing around him “You close baby?” he asks, the moan you let out is enough for him to understand, “I wanna come in you while you come on my cock, please?” the begging tone in his voice making you let out desperate pleas, his mouth is back on yours, both of you completely lost in the pleasure of each other, moaning against each other's mouths before he thrusts into you, hard, your pussy clenches around him, grinding up and down as you ride your orgasm out, at the same time milking his cock, making him whimper against you, saying your name though it all.
He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, before slowly inching his cock out, his cum spilling out of your pussy, you both wince at the sensitiveness, he pulls back looking down at you
“Where's your towels baby?” He asks, voice soft, you point towards the second drawer of your dresser, he grabs one coming back over to you, kneeling down to clean you up, you admire him, the focused look on his face, he looks up at you smiling “What?” He says through a chuckle
“You’re just really cute when you're focused” He climbs up till he's laid next to you, pulling himself closer to your warm embrace, resting his face on your chest, making you let out a giggle before he looks at you
“I want to be your boyfriend y/n” He says, emotion raw in his tone
“W-what?” You're caught off guard by the question
“Can I be your boyfriend?” He asks, voice low, almost shy
“Please?” he adds
You smile, biting your lip “yes, you can” You whisper, he tilts his head to kiss you again, embracing your warmth, you pull back
“You’re not going to get me flowers or anything?” You ask brow raising
“Oh, you just wait for tomorrow” He smiles against your lips
୨♡୧
Jake left your house that morning, kissing you goodbye, and saying to be ready by six at the latest, you were already dressed at 5.
The second you hear a knock at the door you rush to get it, swinging it open, heart beating fast when you see him, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand, with a smile on his face
“Jake–They’re so pretty” You smile, taking them from his hand
“You’re prettier” He says, pressing a kiss to your lips before taking your hand and dragging you to his car.
He covers your eyes with his hands when he makes you get out of the car “Y/n you better not peak” he says, tickling your ear with his mouth, guiding you somewhere
“Shit- dont trip” He says, kicking a rock out of the way
You let out a laugh at how stressed he is right now
“Okay, three, two..” He removes his hand from your eyes, adjusting to the light you look around, at the open field, the sunset turning a pink/ orange hue in the distant, before your eyes fall to the setting before you, you cover your mouth with your hand, smiling against it as you look at the picnic before you
The Jake Sim set up a picnic for you at sunset. you can't help but giggle into your palm, turning to look at him
“Its perfect Jake” You say throwing your arms around his neck, pressing a light kiss to his lips
He smiles proudly, taking pride in the fact that he’s able to please you like this
He helps you sit down, before coming next to you, watching the way you glow from the golden light on you.
“You’re telling me Heeseung, Jay, and Sunghoon made these?” You say taking a bite of the small strawberry shortcake, the flavors melting in your mouth
“Yeah, they spent all day trying to figure out how, finding recipes and stuff” He says through a laugh
“Said it was their own way of apologizing” He lifts his finger to wipe frosting from your chin, bringing it up to lick it, smiling at you
“Tell them they're going to have to make me 10 more batches of this, because it might just be the best strawberry shortcake to date.” You say, completely serious
“They were considering opening a bakery” Jake says through a laugh, that has you join him
As the sun sets, you lean on his shoulder, you’re not thinking about the stressful things in your life like you normally do in quiet moments, right now it's you and him.
And you're at peace with that, because you feel like you've finally found your person.
“Thank you y/n” Jake says, turning his head to look at you
“For what?” you ask, voice barely a whisper
“Forgiving me, letting me in, it means a lot to me. And I'm really glad you did.” He says, moving a strand of hair behind your ear
“Thank you” You say so quietly, he almost wouldn't be able to hear it, he tilts his head in question
“For being there for me, and accepting me.” You say softly, he smiles before he cups the side of your face in his hand pulling you closer, and kissing you, gently..lovingly.
୨♡୧
And if I wrote reader giving him head for the first time and he actually goes insane
SUMMARY: when your friend group decided to take a trip together at jay’s lake house, you hadn’t expected things to change. it was an honest mistake, jay hadn’t realised it was you and not mina, his girlfriend, the one he fucked… but he did know after. there’s no way back now.
WARNINGS: cheating (very bad!), lame porn plot, spooning, dubcon at first, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), creampie, toys, vibrator, porn watching, orgasm denial, overstimulation, dirty talking, pet names (slut, good girl), jay is filthy & a lil mean, lmk if more. NOT PROOFREAD.
a/n: i barely slept last night to finish this pls eat it up
The summer sun hung low in the sky as you, Mina, and Yunjin piled into the car, laughter echoing through the vehicle like a soundtrack to your unbreakable friendship.
You'd been best friends since high school, the kind of trio that turned mundane days into adventures.
Mina, with her sharp wit and effortless style, had been dating Jay for over a year now, the tall, broad-shouldered Jay with his easy smile and that quiet confidence that made everyone feel at ease.
Yunjin, the bubbly one with her infectious energy, was glued to Jake's side, her boyfriend of six months who matched her vibe perfectly, always cracking jokes to keep the group lighthearted.
And then there was you, Y/N, the third wheel in the best way possible, content to tag along on these escapades without any romantic entanglements of your own. Even if yob craved them.
Heeseung rounded out the group, a mutual friend from college who'd joined because why not?
He was handsome in that brooding, artistic way, woth dark hair falling into his eyes, and a perpetual sketchbook in hand.
But his heart was set on some girl from his art class, someone he'd been pining over for months.
No sparks flew your way, and honestly, you were fine with that.
The trip had been Mina's idea, sparked during a late-night group chat. “Let's do something spontaneous.” she'd texted, and before you knew it, plans were set for Jay's family cottage up in the woods, a cozy lakeside retreat about three hours from the city.
Jake had volunteered on driving, Yunjin beside him, while you, Mina, and Heeseung squeezed into the back with snacks and playlists blasting.
Jay followed in his rover, hauling the cooler, luggage and extra gear.
By the time you pulled up to the cottage, the sun was dipping toward the horizon, painting the lake in hues of orange and pink.
Jay's cottage was everything you'd imagined and more: a two-story wooden haven with a wraparound porch, stone fireplace inside, and enough bedrooms to give everyone space.
The air smelled of pine and fresh water, a welcome change from the urban smog. “Home sweet home,”
Jay announced as he unlocked the door, his voice warm and inviting.
He was the picture of hospitality, immediately assigning tasks like it was second nature.
You all dove into settling in. Yunjin and Jake claimed the room with the best view of the lake, giggling as they tossed bags onto the queen bed.
Mina helped Jay unload the groceries, their easy affection on display, stolen kisses while unpacking vegetables for dinner,, his hand lingering on her waist.
Heeseung wandered off to explore the property, muttering something about finding a good spot for sunset sketches. You pitched in with the cooking, chopping vegetables for a big pasta dinner while the others set the table on the porch.
The kitchen was alive with activity. You stood at the counter, knife flashing as you diced onions, the sharp scent making your eyes water.
Mina hovered nearby, stirring sauce on the stove, her laughter bubbling up when Jay snuck up behind her and nipped at her ear. “Stop distracting me!” she swatted him playfully, but her cheeks flushed pink. Yunjin blasted music from her phone, dancing around Jake as he grilled chicken outside.
Dinner was a feast under the stars, pasta twirled on forks, wine poured generously, stories flowing as freely as the conversation.
You sat between Mina and Yunjin, feeling the warmth of the group wrap around you like a blanket. Jay entertained everyone with tales of past summers at the cottage, his arm draped casually over Mina's shoulders.
Jake challenged Heeseung to a ridiculous arm-wrestling match on the porch railing, which ended in laughter and spilled beer. It was perfect, the kind of night that made you grateful for these friends.
Upstairs, rooms were divided up: Mina and Jay in the master with its en-suite bath, Yunjin and Jake in the lake-view spot, Heeseung in a small single, and you in a modest guest room at the end of the hall.
It had a twin bed pushed against the wall, a rickety dresser, and a window overlooking the dark woods. You unpacked your bag, hanging clothes and setting out toothpaste and creams, but something felt off.
The room was stuffy, the bed lumpy, and the faint smell of woods clung to everything. It wasn't ideal for unwinding after the long drive.
Mina poked her head in as you fluffed the pillow. “You good in here, babes?” she asked, her hair tied back, face scrubbed clean of makeup.
You hesitated, glancing around. “Honestly? It's kinda meh. The bed's uncomfortable, and I feel like I'm in a closet.”
She tilted her head, considering. “We can switch if you want? Jay can sleep anywhere, so he won’t mind. We can sleep here while you take the master.”
“You’re a savior.” you kissed her cheek sweetly.
Mina shrugged with a grin. “No biggie, I’ll tell Jay.”
You felt a rush of relief, grabbing your pillow and heading to the master.
The king-sized bed was a dream, with a plush mattress, crisp sheets, and the faint scent of male cologne lingering in the air.
You stripped down to your panties and a loose tank top, sliding under the covers.
The room was dimly lit by the stars outsisde. Exhaustion pulled at you, and soon, sleep claimed you, deep and dreamless.
Around an hour later, the mattress dipped. You stirred faintly, awareness creeping in through the haze of slumber.
A warm body pressed against your back, solid and familiar in the dark.
Strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close.
Jay's breath ghosted over your neck, hot and ragged, smelling faintly of wine.
He nuzzled into your hair, murmuring softly, “Missed you, baby.” His voice was thick with sleep, laced with desire.
You froze, heart pounding. This wasn't right. But before you could process, his hips rocked forward, his hard cock, thick and hot, rubbing against your ass through the thin fabric of your panties.
The friction sent a jolt through you, unwelcome yet electric.
He ground slowly, the length of him nestling between your ass cheeks, his boxers doing little to hide how rigid he was. “Lord, Mina, you feel so good.”' he whispered, lips brushing your shoulder.
Panic bubbled up. You opened your mouth to speak, to correct him, Mina had switched rooms, it was you, Y/N, but his hand slid up your side, bold and possessive, cupping your breast through your shirt.
His fingers squeezed, thumb circling your nipple until it pebbled under his touch.
A gasp escaped you, traitorous pleasure sparking in your core.
You'd always craved this, touch, attention, the simple act of being wanted.
Life had been a string of almosts, no one seeing you the way Jay saw Mina. And now, here he was, lavishing you with it by mistake.
He tugged your shirt up, exposing your skin to the cool air.
His palm flattened against your bare breast, kneading the soft flesh, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You bit your lip, stifling a whimper.
In the dim moonlight filtering through the curtains, he couldn't see clearly, the differences between you and Mina blurred in the shadows. Your bodies weren't identical, but close enough in build, hair tousled from sleep.
He chuckled low, sleepy and affectionate, his cock still rutting lazily against you. “Fuck, you’re perfect.” His voice dripped with hunger, hand squeezing harder, making your breast spill over his fingers.
You hummed in response, the sound noncommittal, your mind screaming at you to stop this.
But your body betrayed you, arching back into him, seeking more. Heat pooled between your legs, your pussy clenching with need.
Emboldened by your silence, Jay's hand trailed down, hooking into the waistband of your panties. “Lift your leg for me,” he murmured, guiding your thigh up.
You complied without thinking, the position opening you up. He slid the fabric down your hips, exposing your slick folds to the night air.
His fingers found you immediately, parting your lips to trace your entrance. “So wet already.” he groaned, dipping one finger inside.
You were tight, walls gripping him. He pumped slowly, adding a second finger, stretching you with deliberate strokes. “How do you keep getting tighter every time?”
The words sent a shiver down your spine, filthy and praising. You clenched around his fingers, hips rocking subtly.
He curled them, hitting that spot inside that made stars burst behind your eyelids. Your arousal coated his hand, the wet sounds obscene in the quiet room.
Jay withdrew his fingers, the loss making you whine softly.
You heard the rustle of fabric, his boxers shoved down. His cock pressed against your entrance, hot and throbbing.
He aligned himself, the broad head nudging your folds. With a slow thrust, he pushed in, inch by inch, filling you completely.
His chest molded to your back, spooning you tight, one arm banded across your waist while the other returned to your breast, pinching your nipple.
He bottomed out with a grunt, balls pressed against your ass. “Mina, you're gripping me so good,” he praised, voice husky.
He started moving, shallow thrusts that had his cock dragging along your walls, hitting deep with each roll of his hips.
You couldn't help it, your hand joined his on your breast, squeezing the other one, rolling your own nipple as pleasure built.
The dual sensation made you moan, low and needy. Jay noticed, his pace quickening. “Yeah, just like that. Play with those pretty tits f’me. Tomorrow, you're using your toys too, the vibrator on your clit while I fuck this tight little pussy. Turns me on so much seeing you come undone.”
Your tummy twisted with heat, arousal spiking. Your walls clamped down hard, orgasm crashing over you unexpectedly.
You shattered around him, pussy pulsing, milking his shaft as waves of ecstasy ripped through you.
“Already? My greedy girl,” he cooed, thrusting through your climax, prolonging it.
His hand clamped over your mouth, muffling the cries spilling from your lips. You sucked on his fingers instinctively, tasting yourself on his skin from the early fingering.
He hooked your leg higher, changing the angle, and fucked you harder. His hips snapped forward, cock slamming deep, the bed creaking under the force.
Skin slapped against skin, your ass jiggling with each impact. You moaned into his palm, tears pricking your eyes from the intensity.
He was relentless, grunting praises, “Take it, Mina, fuck, you're so perfect” his free hand digging into your hip, holding you steady.
The pressure built again, but he beat you to it. With a final, brutal thrust, Jay came, flooding you with hot spurts of cum.
He groaned against your neck, body shuddering as he emptied himself inside you. His cock twitched, painting your walls white.
He stayed buried, thrusting shallowly, pushing his release deeper, ensuring every drop stayed in you.
Finally, he pulled out with a wet pop, cum trickling down your thigh.
He turned you gently, facing him in the dim light, lips turned upward contentedly.
That's when his eyes widened, clarity hitting like a freight train.
The curve of your jaw, the shade of your hair… it wasn't Mina. It was you, Y/N, flushed and sated, lips swollen from his fingers.
“What the fuck!” Jay scrambled back, yanking his boxers up, his cock still semi-hard and glistening with your combined fluids.
He fumbled for the lamp, flicking it on low, the soft glow confirming his nightmare.
You sat up, pulling your shirt down, shame flooding you even as aftershocks tingled in your limbs. “Jay, I—I'm sorry. It happened so fast, I didn't mean—“
He looked like he could throw up, “You should've stopped me!” he hissed, voice furious but low, mindful of the sleeping house.
His face was a mask of shock and anger, chest heaving. “This is fucked up, Y/N, I thought you were her.”
Tears welled up, spilling hot down your cheeks. Guilt twisted in your gut. you'd let it happen, craved it even. “I know, I should've said something. Please, don't hate me.”
Seeing your tears, his expression softened, the rage ebbing.
He reached out, thumb brushing your cheek, wiping away the salt. It was as much his fault, he hadn't checked, hadn't felt the subtle differences in the dark.
”Hey, don't cry,” he murmured, voice gentler now. “It'll be our secret, yeah? No one needs to know. Mina doesn't find out, none of them do.”
You nodded, sniffling, the ache between your legs a throbbing reminder of what transpired. He lingered a moment, gaze conflicted, then stood, pulling on his pants properly.
He slipped out, closing the door softly behind him, leaving you alone in the rumpled bed, body humming with unsatisfied need and heart heavy with secrets.
🦇.
The morning light filtered through the curtains of the master bedroom, casting a soft glow over the rumpled sheets where you lay.
Your body still ached from the night before, a delicious soreness between your legs that reminded you of every thrust, every forbidden moment with Jay.
But guilt gnawed at you too, mixing with the lingering heat that his words had planted in your mind.
You woke with a groan, feigning illness to avoid the group's plans.
A boat trip on the lake sounded fun, but facing everyone, especially Jay, felt impossible. “I'm not feeling great,l you mumbled when Mina checked in, pressing a cool hand to your forehead. “Headache, maybe from the long drive.”
Mina's brow furrowed with concern, her gentle nature shining through. “You should rest. We'll go without you, but Jay can stay behind to keep an eye on you. Right, love?” She turned to Jay, who was packing a cooler by the door, his expression neutral, avoiding your gaze.
Jay nodded stiffly, his jaw tight “Yeah, sure. No problem.” His voice was clipped, the tension from last night hanging unspoken between you.
Yunjin hugged you goodbye, promising to bring back stories, while Heeseung waved casually, oblivious to the undercurrents.
The front door clicked shut behind them, the sound of the car engine fading into the distance.
The cottage fell silent, save for the distant lap of water against the shore.
You stayed in bed, heart racing, as footsteps echoed downstairs.
Jay moved around the kitchen, the clink of dishes suggesting coffee or breakfast. But no words came your way.
After an hour of staring at the ceiling, replaying his dirty promises, curiosity, and a building ache, drove you up.
You remembered the bedroom, the one you'd switched from, now empty of Mina.
Her things were still there, luggage half-unpacked.
If she had toys... maybe just a peek wouldn't hurt.
Padding silently across the cool wooden floor in your oversized t-shirt and panties, you slipped into the room.
You started with the nightstand drawers, rifling through socks and books. Nothing.
Then the dresser, underwear, neatly folded, but no luck.
Finally, you knelt by the luggage, unzipping side pockets. Your fingers brushed a soft fabric bag, hidden at the bottom. Heart pounding, you pulled it out, the zipper whispering open.
Inside, a treasure trove of secrets spilled into view, and your eyes widened in shock.
Mina, sweet and gentle Mina, who blushed at dirty jokes and held your hand during scary movies, was freaky as hell.
There were at least five toys, each more intriguing than the last. A small bullet vibrator, sleek and silver, promised pinpoint pleasure.
Next to it, a lip-shaped one, pink and glossy, designed to suck and tease. Then a realistic dildo, veined and girthy, about seven inches of silicone cock.
Bigger still was the monster beside it, thick as your wrist, with a suction base for mounting.
And finally, the rabbit vibrator, a curved shaft with a clitoral stimulator that looked like floppy rabbit ears, complete with textured beads and multiple speed settings.
You picked up the rabbit one, turning it over in your hands.
It looked almost comical, woth those little ears, but the weight of it felt promising.
Mina wouldn't mind if you borrowed it for a bit, right?
She was your best friend, this was harmless curiosity. You tucked the others away, zipping the bag and sliding it back into place.
Clutching the rabbit toy to your chest, you crept back to the bedroom, glancing down the hall.
Jay was in the living room, the TV flickering with some action movie, his back to the stairs.
Closing the door with a soft click. Your phone buzzed in your hand as you set the toy on the bed. Time to get comfortable.
You scrolled through your browser, incognito mode on, searching for porn that matched the mood, something passionate, not too aggressive.
A video popped up: a couple in a sunlit room, her legs spread wide as he ate her out slowly, building to a slow, deep fuck.
Perfect.
You propped the phone against a pillow, turning the volume low enough to hear the moans and wet sounds without alerting anyone.
Stripping down took seconds, t-shirt over your head, panties kicked aside.
You were naked now, skin prickling in the cool air, you lay back on the bed, knees bent and spread.
Your hands roamed first, massaging your body to stoke the fire. Fingers traced your collarbone, down to your breasts, cupping the soft mounds Jay had squeezed last night.
Your nipples hardened under your palms, thumbs circling the peaks until they ached.
Lower still, over your stomach, dipping between your thighs. You were already slick, arousal from the memory making your pussy lips glisten.
But impatience won; you needed more than your touch.
The rabbit toy felt foreign in your grip, cool silicone warming against your skin.
You'd never used one, fingers and pillows had been your go-to, humping against fabric until friction brought release.
How did this even work? A quick Google search: how to use rabbit vibrator. helped you. Instructions flashed, lube if needed (you were wet enough), insert the shaft, position the ears on your clit, start low.
You clicked back to the porn, the woman now riding her partner's cock, her tits bouncing with each grind.
Spreading your folds with one hand, you teased the tip of the toy along your entrance, coating it in your juices.
The curved head nudged inside, stretching you gently. Fuck, it was thicker than expected, filling you inch by inch as you pushed.
Your walls clenched around the intrusion, the beads inside the shaft adding delicious texture.
Once seated, you angled the rabbit ears against your clit, the soft silicone nestling perfectly. A flick of the button, low buzz, and pleasure exploded.
“Oh shit,” ou gasped, body arching off the bed. The vibrations hummed through your core, the shaft pulsing inside while the ears fluttered against your swollen nub.
It was worlds better than your fingers, the dual stimulation hitting every nerve.
You watched the video, the actress's moans syncing with yours as she came, her pussy squirting around the dick buried in her.
Emboldened, you turned up the speed, thrusting the toy in and out slowly. Wet squelches filled the room, your arousal dripping down your ass crack onto the sheets.
You fucked yourself harder, hips bucking to meet each plunge. Your free hand pinched your nipple, twisting until it stung, imagining Jay's rough grip.
Last night's cum had leaked out in your sleep, but now you were making your own mess, pussy gushing around the silicone cock.
Little did you know, across the hall in the living room, Jay's phone lit up with a notification.
He had an app, the discreet way he and Mina controlled her toys remotely, that pinged: ‘Device activated. Low intensity.’
He paused the movie, brow furrowing.
Mina had taken one on the boat?
She hadn't mentioned it, but maybe she'd snuck the rabbit for some solo fun on the water.
A smirk tugged at his lips, imagining her squirming while the others rowed.
But then, faint buzzing drifted from upstairs, unmistakable even over the TV's hum.
Curious, he muted the screen and stood, padding quietly up the stairs.
The sounds grew clearer, soft whimpers, the steady whir of vibrations. The master bedroom door was closed, but not locked. he turned the knob silently, cracking it open.
And fuck. There you were, legs splayed wide on the bed, the rabbit toy buried in your cunt, ears dancing on your clit.
Your breasts heaved with each breath, nipples hard points, face flushed in pleasure.
Pussy lips stretched around the shaft, slick withjuices coating your thighs. The phone played porn, the actress mid-orgasm, but your eyes were half-lidded, lost in it.
You opened your eyes to check the video, but locked onto Jay's stunned gaze instead.
Panic surged so you yanked the sheets over your body, though the toy stayed lodged deep, vibrations still humming. “What are you doing here?”' you hissed, voice breathless, cheeks burning.
Jay pushed the door wider, stepping in with a dark expression. He closed it behind him, the click loud in the tension. “Why the fuck are you using Mina's toy?” His voice was low, edged with anger and something hotter. He eyed the bulge under the sheet where the vibrator buzzed.
You swallowed, mortified, the pleasure warring with shame. “l... I wanted to try it. I've never used one before. Please, don't tell her.”
Lord, you sounded pathetic, begging your best friend's boyfriend for secrets after he'd already fucked you by mistake.
He rolled his eyes, but there was a flicker of amusement, or arousal, in his gaze.
Crossing the room, he loomed over the bed. “Pitiful, Y/N. Needing me to teach you this shit too?”
Without warning, he pulled out his phone, opening the app.
A few taps, and the vibrations surged to medium— then intense, fluttering waves that made your whole body jerk.
“Ah—fuck!” you moaned, back bowing, the toy ravaging your insides. Your clit throbbed under the assault, orgasm teetering close already.
Jay chuckled, low and dirty, glancing at your phone. “And this piss-poor porn? Amateur hour.” He snatched it, killing the video and muting the sound.
Then, with one hand, he ripped the sheet away, exposing you fully. Your pussy clenched visibly around the toy, arousal pooling beneath your ass.
Naked and vulnerable, you stared up at him, need overriding embarrassment. “Jay, please... help me cum. It feels so good, but I can't—“
He leaned in, eyes dark. “You don't cum unless I say so. Got it? Be a good girl for once.l
You nodded frantically, biting your lip as another wave hit. “Yes, okay.”
His hand slapped yours away from the toy's base and replaced it with his own.
Strong fingers wrapped around the end, twisting it slightly, making the shaft grind against your g-spot.
He pumped it slow at first, in and out, the ears never leaving your clit. “That's better. Now, fuck yourself on it like you were. Show me how desperate you are.”
You obeyed, hips rolling, the silicone cock sliding deep with his guidance. Pleasure built fast, your walls fluttering. “Jay, I'm close—“
“Hold it,” he commanded, voice firm. “Don't you dare cum yet.”
You tried, clenching every muscle, breaths ragged. But it was too much, and uou cried out, body shaking as you came hard, juices squirting around the toy, soaking his hand.
He tsked, shaking his head. “Bad girl. You couldn't even follow instructions.”
With the app, he cranked it to high, the buzzing intensifying to a roar. Your oversensitive clit screamed, aftershocks turning to torture-pleasure. “You need to learn control, huh? Like a good little slut who listens.”
The next build was agony. He fucked you with the toy relentlessly, thumb pressing the ears harder against your nub. When you whimpered, “Close again— please!” he dialed it down to low, the sudden drop leaving you hanging, frustrated tears pricking your eyes.
“Not yet,” he growled, watching your pussy clench emptily.
He ramped it up again, edging you mercilessly. Your thighs trembled, sweat beading on your skin. “Jay, I can't... please, I'm a good girl! Let me cum, pretty please!”
Tears spilled, your voice breaking as you writhed. He held your gaze, unyielding, until finally, after the third edge, he nodded. “Cum for me, slut. Soak this fucking toy.”
The release hit like a storm. He maxed the vibrations, pounding the rabbit into you, shaft spearing your g-spot, ears battering your clit.
Your whole body jerked, convulsing on the bed, eyes rolling back as ecstasy overwhelmed.
Pussy walls milked the toy, a gush of cum flooding out, drenching the sheets. You screamed, nails digging into the mattress, vision whiting out.
Jay had to hold you down, his free hand pinning your hip as you bucked wildly. “There it is,” he murmured, voice rough with his own arousal, cock straining against his pants.
He rode out your climax, slowing the thrusts until you slumped, panting, boneless.
Just then, his phone rang, Mina's face lighting the screen.
Panic flashed in your eyes, but he pressed a finger to your lips. “Shut up,” he whispered harshly, clamping his hand over your mouth as you whimpered from the lingering buzz.
He answered, voice shifting to sweet normalcy. “Hey, baby. Yeah, everything's fine here. Y/N’s resting.”
You squirmed beneath him, the toy still humming low, his palm muffling your gasps.
Mina's voice echoed through the speaker: “Good. We're having fun, but I'm getting hungry. Can you start lunch? We’ll be back in thirty minutes.”
“Sure thing,” he replied, all affection. “I'll grill some burgers. Love you.” He hung up, tossing the phone aside.
Removing his hand, he gripped the toy's base. “Time's up.”
With a slick pull, he extracted the rabbit, your pussy gaping slightly, cum-coated silicone gleaming. You sighed at the emptiness.
He held it to your lips. “Suck it clean. Taste how much of a mess you made.”
Obedient, you parted your lips, tongue swirling around the shaft, lapping your tangy release.
You sucked eagerly, hollowing your cheeks, until it shone wet with saliva.
Jay pulled it away, wiping it on the sheet. “Good girl. But remember, never tell anyone what happened here. This stays between us.”
You nodded, spent and aching anew, as he stood. He adjusted himself, hiding the bulge, and left without another word, door clicking shut.
Alone again, you curled into the damp sheets, body humming… yup, there certainly was no way back now.
You dreaded going to the mechanic shop after messing up your car. Until you meet the extremely hot worker there, who does a whole lot more than just fix it for you.
yang jungwon x fem!reader
content warnings: smut, teasing, degrading, slut shaming, dirty talk, oral (m), unprotected sex, pussy eating, spanking, panty sniffing, car sex? (on the car..), mentions of alcohol, reader's a spoiled brat who needs to be put in her place, and Jungwons willing to, porn with a plot..let me know if I missed anything!
word count: 6k
As soon as he saw the Aston Martin DB9 Voltane, silver exterior, pink interior, with heavy damage in the front from most likely a rear end collision pull up, he knew exactly what kind of customer he was dealing with.
Wiping his hands on his jeans, the ones he has several pairs of, so he doesnt care if they get messy or not, he watches as you step out of the car.
Predictable. Denim mini skirt, light pink baby doll top, hair freshly blown out, full face of makeup, and to top it off, playboy bunny heels.
He looks across the mechanic garage at Jay, who's already looking at him with a knowing eyebrow raised.
You grab your designer purse, looking around the garage, the smell of oil, and metal lingering in the air. You curse your father for making you do this by yourself.
Watching as none of the workers here make any move to come forward and help you, you scoff. Typical of these low lifes.
“Does anyone actually work here?” You say, attitude leaking from your voice
He shakes his head stifling a laugh before making his way to you from across the garage.
You watch as a man, probably around your age approaches you, immediately noting how handsome he is, dark hair, defined features, cat like eyes that draw you in.
“How can we help you today?” He asks, tone calm, collected.
“Well clearly the bumper’s fucked up.” You say, hand signaling to the front of your car
His eyebrows raise slightly at your straight foward attitude.
“Yeah, I can see that.” His eyes drop to your tits for a split second, how could he not when they're practically spilling out of your little top
“So I need you to like, fix it” You say like its the most obvious thing, which it clearly is.
He walks around to the front, crouching to look closer at the damage, you watch his face
“yikes..” He says through his teeth, making a slight panic bubble in your chest
“What?” You ask, urgently needing an answer
“This baby’s gonna need some work that's for sure.” He stands up, walking around the car to check for any more damage
“Sensors are definitely damaged, we’re gonna have to order a new bumper, for this specific car it could be hard to find one. You might need a new engine too.” He looks at you, reaching into the front seat, finger hovering over the hood button “May I?” you nod
He pops the hood before going back around to look at the engine, you watch as another man comes to look at it, he must also work here. “Shit– V12 too, that's gonna cost a fortune to fix” The third party adds.
“Since it uses aluminum body panels, it's going to be harder to fix than steel.” The first one says, hand rubbing his jaw in thought, you look at them confused as ever because you don't know what the hell they are saying.
“I don't even know what that means. Can you fix it or not?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest, completely oblivious to the way you're pushing your tits up more, and to the way both of their gazes drop to look at them.
“Yeah, I can fix it. But it's not gonna be cheap.” He says
“How much?” You ask, tone uncaring, this is just information your father needs to know anyway.
“It's not definitely not minor damage, parts are probably gonna have to be shipped from out of state, so maybe around 20-25 grand?” He estimates in his head
You don't bat an eye, “How long will it take then?” You ask impatiently
“Well it sure as hell isn't going to be ready tomorrow, I'm thinking 3-5 weeks.” He says calmly
“That's like almost a month!” practically shouting at him
“Like I said, parts from out of state.” He adds, watching the way you pull out your phone, swiping frantically on it, you don't excuse yourself before walking a good 5 feet away to call your father.
He picks up on the 4th ring
“Yes Y/n?” he says, bothered
“Dad, they said it's going to take almost a month to fix it!” You say in your phone, completely unaware of how Jungwon and Jay can hear your conversation perfectly clear.
Typical, you have no sense of space either.
“Well that's what happens when you get your car wrecked.” he says
“But I can't survive a whole month-”
“Well you're going to have to, maybe if you weren't so careless with your speeding, and texting while driving, you wouldn't be in this situation at all.” You quiet down as he continues
“Ill have the driver pick you up, sign whatever papers they give you. You have my card right?”
‘Yes.” You reply clipped, anger seeping in your tone
“Use it. I don't care for the cost” He adds, you hear the sound of papers shuffling in the back, knowing that the reason for his straight forward attitude is because he's at his office.
“Fine.”
“And y/n?”, "Don't be rude.” He adds before hanging up the phone, you bring it down to look at the screen, scoffing before shoving it in your bag and walking back towards the annoyingly hot workers.
They are both looking at your engine when you walk back towards them, you watch the first one look up, before he tells the other one to grab the papers.
He comes back with a clip board and hands it to you with a pen, you scan it, looking at the first box, ‘Mechanic Name’, you look up at him
"What's your name?” tone bored
“Jungwon.” He says, you repeat the name in your head. Leaning against the side of your car to fill out the rest of the form, rolling your eyes as you check off the boxes for the reasoning of your visit. The other worker is already back working on one of the other cars.
You hand him the clipboard without a word, watching his eyes skim over it before he lets a smirk show, what the fuck is he smirking at.
“What?” You ask rudely, making him stifle a laugh.
“Nothin’ I just knew it’d be a rear end.” He says, pulling out a business card from his pocket
“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Your nostrils flaring at the way he’s speaking to you.
“Just means girls like you are predictable.” He watches your face, ignoring the glare you’re giving him before continuing “Let me guess, you were on your phone”
You open your mouth to speak, to defend yourself but close it, because that's the exact reason why. He grins at that, knowing he’s right.
“Right. I'm gonna see exactly what she’s gonna need, and I'll message you the exact cost so you can come back and pay.” He says, handing you his business card
You take it reluctantly, hating the fact that you actually have to come back here again. You look down at the way his hand is still held out, looking down at the oil stained flesh in disgust before glancing up at his ridiculously perfect face
“What? Do you want me to hold your hand or something?”
He chuckles lightly, “I need the car keys, princess.” You hide your embarrassment, obviously he needs the keys. You lean into your car, bending enough that your mini skirt rises slightly higher than necessary, revealing the pink lace panties from Victoria's Secret's spring collection, he ignores the way his cock jumps at the sight.
You hand him the keys, he looks down at them, resisting the urge to laugh at your key chains, the mini chanel heel, to the pink fluffy pom pom ball, before bring them down, finger hooking around the key ring
“kay’ so is that all?” You ask impatiently, kitten heel tapping on the ground lightly, “For now.” He says, shamelessly dropping his eyes to your glossy lips before turning around and walking back to his tool table.
You roll your eyes, making sure you grabbed everything out of your car before walking out of the garage, the faint smell of oil sticking to you. Yeah you're taking a long shower when you get home.
“Y’know, you could've just got her card on file” Jay mutters, walking over to him
“Whats the fun in that?” Jungwon says, looking at the papers you signed, y/n. Pretty name.
-
People often referred to you as the ‘spoiled daddy’s girl’ type, to be fair you didn't deny it. Your father did spoil you rotten, after all he was one of the wealthiest men in the country. Obviously you took advantage of it, from the designer clothes, and bags, your whole closet screamed it. Your friends were rich too, naturally. You didn't want to surround yourself with people who leech off your money.
It had been three days since you saw your car, three days since you saw that sexy ass mechanic.
So what if you wore this outfit just for this specific occasion, you weren't completely clueless. You could tell when a man knew how to fuck, simply by his attitude, and Jungwon was screaming big dick energy.
You reapply your shiny lipgloss on your lips, as your driver pulls up to the shop. Looking down at your outfit, from the tight denim shorts to the white baby tee, you purposely didn't put a bra on with.
You smile sweetly at your driver before stepping out, your dior bag in one hand, and strawberry beverage in the other before walking in the shop.
You look around the shop trying to spot Jungwon, he had messaged you that he was able to find all the parts, and needed to double check with you to confirm the payment.
You don't like when people make you wait either.
“God, this place is fucking slow.” You say before walking to your car, you pause when you him stand up from working on the engine of your car
“Sorry to keep you waiting princess” He says, putting the wrench in his hand down, dusting his hands off and standing up, he’s wearing a white tank top. Biceps, those biceps are all you can think about right now.
He runs his hand through his hair, pushing the messy strands back before walking past you. You try not to act shocked when he doesn’t even glance at your outfit– guy’s would fucking kill to see you in this.
You hesitate a beat before following him to what you're guessing is some kind of break room..looking around from the desk, to the couch, to the ash tray sitting on the table in the center.
“Is this like a man cave or something?” You ask, stepping in the room like the floor would burn you, he lets out a low chuckle before sitting down at his desk, and pulling up the website for you to pay.
You look down at his concentrated face before leaning over his shoulder to get a better look at it, slightly brushing your tits on the side of his face. He freezes for a split second before speaking without looking at you. “I need your card.”
Standing up straight you reach in your purse pulling out your fathers black card and handing it to him. He scoffs, typing the numbers in “Daddy’s money huh?” He says, voice low before handing it back to you.
You roll your eyes, but you don't deny it either.
“Alright that's all I need from you.” He says, standing up and going back out to the main garage, passing Jay as he works on the engine for another customer.
You watch him walk away, tossing your finished beverage in his office trashcan "That's all?” You say approaching him again.
“What do you mean ‘thats all’?” He turns to look at you
“You came here for somethin’ else princess?” Using that nickname again.
He lets his eyes fall to your body, he knew you weren't wearing a bra the second he saw you. Not to mention those tiny shorts that don't leave shit to the imagination.
You must be fucking desperate to shown up looking like that here.
“No–I just thought” You huff out a frustrated breath, before pulling out your phone to text your driver to come back.
He looks over your shoulder, no sign of Jay. He probably went to the office to smoke anyway.
“Thought what?” He watches the way you shove your phone in your bag, irritation on your features, even though he knows exactly what you thought. Plenty of girls think the same thing.
When you cross your arms over your chest like a spoiled brat he chuckles. “Thought I’d want you just cause’ you show up looking like a slut?”
Your face switches from irritation to straight up anger “Fuck you-”
“Yeah I'm sure you’d want that huh?” He smirks, not missing the way your nipples harden under his stare
You look past his shoulder to see the familiar black SUV pull up before looking back at him in his stupid tank top that shows off his stupidly big biceps.
You know what, fine. You're not wasting any more time on this asshole.
“Dont scratch my car.” You say before walking out, he watches the way your hips sway, your ass begging to be let out of those tight shorts, pushing his tongue against his cheek before getting back to work on your car.
-
“You have got to be kidding me.” It had been a week since you last saw him. Yet here he is, at your favorite club..dancing.
You look at the girl he’s dancing with, the way she slides her hand under his shirt–of course he has fucking abs.
You're pulled from your thoughts when your friend taps your shoulder “Girl, what's going on?”
“What? Nothing, I just need a drink. Bad.” You walk to the bar, flashing a smile that has the bartender immediately catering to you.
You can't help but let your eyes stray back to the dance floor, to see Jungwon's hands on that bitches waist, smiling against her ear. You try to ignore the ting of jealousy you feel, what does she have that you don't?
After downing whatever your friend ordered for the both of you, and something more, you turn to face her “I wanna dance” you say, dragging her on the dance floor with you
You don't miss the look of recognition that passes along his face when he sees you walking towards the dance floor, the surprise making you grin.
Took less then 3 minutes to feel a pair of strong hands on your waist, you recognize the rough look of them immediately.
“Got bored of that little whore?” You say, purposely grinding your ass back against him
He chuckles against your ear, “Jealous?”
You scoff at that, which makes him tighten his hands on your waist, for a mechanic he sure can move his hips, hitting every beat with each roll against your body
“You wanted it to be you huh?” he whispers, voice low
“Why would I voluntarily want to grind against your small dick?” you snap, earning a low chuckle from him
“Small?” He says turning you around to face him “Princess, I promise you nothing about my dick is small.”
“Yeah?” You say, brow raised, looking up and down his form like he was your next Chanel purchase, “Prove it.”
He smirks looking down then looking back up at your face, “You asked for it.” He rests his hand on your lower back before leading you two out of the club, you look at him curiously before he drags you into an empty alley, you can still hear the music from out here.
“What? Are you gonna fuck me here?” Your face shows irritation. Even though your heart is nearly beating out of your chest.
“No.” He watches your face, stepping closer till your faces are less than an inch apart, the rough brick of the club building digging into your head.
He trails his lips along your neck, breathing your scent in. You can't help the shivers that go down your spine, and straight to your core at the attention
He presses his hardening cock against your thigh, your breath slightly hitches at the contact
“You feel that?” He whispers against your neck
“What’s that, like 2 inches?” still not letting go of your bitchy attitude.
He chuckles low, but it's not jokingly, it's dangerous, knowing.
“Get on your knees, brat.” you hesitate a second before lowering yourself on the hard concrete. He almost could laugh at how quickly you listen
“Look at you, spoiled rich girl on her knees.” He looks down at you, the way your face is asking for specific instructions
“Go on.”
You hate that your hands are shaking when you lift them to unbuckle his belt, your tongue darting out to lick your lips before you look up at him, he nods, watching as you pull down his jeans and boxers in one go.
You nearly gasp at the way his thick, flushed cock springs out, slapping his abdomen with how long it is. Definitely not 2 inches.
“You really are a slut huh? On the ground in the middle of some alley, just to suck dick.” He caresses the side of your face, in such a gentle way you would think he’s comforting you, his thumb swipes over your bottom lip urging you to open your mouth
You stick out your tongue for him, letting him stick his thumb down your throat, closing your lips around it, he pushes it in farther earning a small gag from you
“Oh sweetheart, if you can't handle this, how will you take my cock?” He says condensendly, pulling his thumb out of your mouth and wiping it on the side of your face.
His eyebrows raise slightly when you wrap your hand around the base of his cock, and bring him closer to your mouth before wrapping your lips around the tip, the taste of his pre cum coating your tongue. He lets out a groan at how warm your mouth is, his hand coming down to grip your hair in his hand.
“Suck it like the slut you are.” His mouth hangs open slightly as he looks down at you
You mumble around his dick before taking more of him in your mouth, curling your toes in your heels to not gag, because then you would be proving his exact point.
Closing your eyes to concentrate, you take him slightly deeper, you whine when you see he’s not even fully in your mouth, making him chuckle at your desperate state.
“Let me help you out, yeah?” he says before gripping the back of your head harder and thrusting his cock into your mouth further, till your nose kisses his pelvis, he lets the most guttural groan at the way your throat convulses around his length, his other hand coming up to steady himself on the brick wall behind you.
You brace your hands on his thighs, gagging around his cock, before he pulls it out of your mouth, looking down at the way your saliva coats it, “Who’s small now huh?” He doesn't give you time to reply before shoving himself back in your mouth, biting his lip at the way you attempt to adjust to the length.
You look up at him, the way his head is thrown back, the slight shine of his sweat coating his neck, before moving your hand down to cup his balls in your hand, the sound he lets out is fucking insane.
“F-fuck–yeah just like that” He breathes out, watching the way you sloppily take him in your mouth, You swirl your tongue around the base, before sucking on the head of his cock sharply, massaging his heavy balls in your hand, when his grip on your hair loosens slightly, you know hes about to come.
“Can you s..swallow like a good girl for me?” He says through a moan, the vibration that comes from your mouth is your answer, he brings his hand down from the wall, gripping the back of your head with both his hands, before pushing himself deep in your throat, making you gag as he spills his warm load into you. He tries to stifle how loud he is, but fails miserably, he looks down at you, pulling his cock out of your mouth slowly, watching the way you swallow his come.
“Fuck that was hot.” He lets go of your hair, admiring the fucked out look on your face
“Should’ve came on your face though.” He says, stepping back, tucking himself in his pants and fixing his belt.
You stand up wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, fixing the way your mini dress slid up your thighs
“That's all?” you ask, watching him finish buckling his belt before looking at you
He steps closer until your back hits the wall, lips ghosting over yours, you close your eyes slightly, waiting for the kiss, he smirks at that.
“I still have a car to work on sweetheart.” He says slyly, pulling back, not sparing you a glance before he walks out of the alley way. Leaving you, confused, and absolutely soaked. And that just won't do.
-
You've been told countless times before that you have no shame, but you say it's just because you're bold. You know what you want, and you'll get it no matter what.
Which is exactly why you went back to the mechanic shop, claiming you left something in your car and needed it urgently. When you really just wanted to slip a little something into the center console, and you did just that.
“Jungwon” You watch as he works on your car's engine, sleeves rolled up, hair slick with sweat due to the spike in temperature today.
“Princess.” He replies back, casually. Like this is normal
“I think there's something wrong inside the car, can you look at it?” You ask sweetly, feigning innocence as he looks into the car, eyebrow raised
The vibration of your phone takes your attention, your drivers here. “You’ll know when you find it” You offer that smile that makes men go weak in their knees before walking out of the garage.
He watches you walk away, confusion etched on his face before looking in the cup holder, the second he opens the center console he feels the heat rush to his dick. His fingers wrap around the delicate lace.
He couldn't help but bring them to his nose throughout the day, just to inhale your scent, he swears he could get high off it.
Fine then. If you want to offer yourself on a golden platter to him, then he’s going to take it.
-
9:34
Jungwon: Your cars ready
You: Okay?
He chuckles down at his phone, already sensing your attitude through the damn screen
Jungwon: So, you can pick it up
You: Isn’t it a little late for me to come
Jungwon: Come get your car y/n.
You cant help the small laugh the slips past your lips at the message
You: Fine.
Yes, you purposely aren't wearing panties under your mini skirt, because if you're right, then you're not going to need them.
The main garage doors of the shop are closed, so you opt for the regular one, the lights are slightly dimmer then usual, but you also haven't been here at night before. You pass by the other cars in the garage, the silence being odd for a place like this, except for the sound of your heels clicking on the ground with every step you take to your car.
Its completely fixed. The bumper is brand new, it honestly looks how it did when your father first bought you it.
You walk around the front of the car to take a closer look, when something solid, No. Someone solid presses against you, a gasp slips past your lips at the contact
“Can’t believe you actually came princess” He says, smiling against the back of your ear, his breath on your skin making you shiver
“You said the car was ready, so obviously I did.” You roll your eyes, even though he cant see it. But he senses it.
His hand trails down your body, resting on your lower stomach “Is that why you're not wearing any panties?” He asks, voice low, a rasp in it you recognize from the alley
“Coming in here with your pussy out. Like a slut. You're lucky it's only me here tonight." He brings his hands back up, cupping your tits in his hand
The filthy words he’s saying only making you all the more wet. You can feel the slick dripping on your inner thigh
A breathy sound slips past your slips as he kneads the flesh in his hands over your tank top “I knew they’d feel like this too” He pulls your tank top neckline down so he can really feel you, the way it slightly pushes your tits up more makes his dick harden in his jeans. “So fuckin’ soft” He knips at your ear before pinching your nipples with his fingers, you whimper at the touch
“Aw, so sensitive already?” He smirks, rutting his hips against your ass, making you have to brace one of your hands on the hood of your car
“Just..F-fuck me already” You say through a breathy moan as he bounces your tits in his hands
He laughs at that, actually fucking laughs. Nothing is funny when you’re in this state of desperation, in need of being filled so badly.
“God, you're actually so desperate it's embarrassing” He says, before pushing you down against the hood of your car, earning a gasp that sounded a whole lot like a moan from you.
He just looks down at you for a second, spoiled rich girl bent over your own fucking car, at his mercy. “Are you just gonna stand there-” You don't even get to finish your sentence when he yanks your skirt down your legs, the air hitting your pussy immediately
You spread your legs the best you can, just to show off for him. “Holy shit, it looks like you fucking pissed yourself” He drags a finger through your folds, collected the slick on his fingers, making you moan into the cold steel of your car
“I knew you’d be this wet, could smell it the second you walked in.” he says, plaming your ass in his hand, making your body jolt when you feel a sharp slap “The fuck-” You start but immeditly shut up when he pinches your clit inbetween his fingers
“Got even more wet from that huh? You like this shit.” He chuckles low before landing another sharp slap to your ass, the sound echoing in the garage
He soothes the burn with his hand, you look behind you, straining your neck when you see him get on his knees behind you, he’s not even looking at your face, his gaze is right on the way your hole clenches around nothing
He spreads your ass just to get a better look, you push yourself back against his face slightly “Stop being greedy.” He says, the tone in his voice asserting his authority, how much power he has in this right now.
You dont have time to come up with a bratty reply when he licks a strip up your pussy, collecting your juices on his tounge “knew you’d taste this fucking good too” He mutters into your pussy before burying his nose in your folds, absolutely inhaling your scent, his dick throbbing in his pants. “Oh my–fuck..” You breathe the words out at the feeling of his nose aligning perfectly.
He smiles against your pussy before plunging his tongue in your hole making your hands attempt to claw at the hard surface beneath you, “Jungwon-!” You yell out, when his thumb comes up to rub small circles on your clit
He flicks his tongue against you, enjoying the way you squirm
“Want you to come like this” He mumbles into your cunt, fucking his tounge in and out of you at a criminally fast speed
You’re a moaning mess against the car, his name on your lips everytime you’re able to speak.
“m’ gonna come–” You breathe out as his finger speeds up its teasing on your sensitive bud, your juices are dripping on his chin, he sucks whatever you give him, the tight pressure making your legs tremble
If you weren’t bent over this car right now you’d definitely collapse.
You cry out when his tongue hits deep inside you, flicking in your pussy as you come on his face, he presses his thumb against your clit as he licks everything, taking his mouth off your cunt with a pop.
You’re slouched against the car, knees weak trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened.
He stands up, licking his lips, not giving you any time to react before he flips you onto your back, “No thank you?” He tilts his head to the side slightly, studying your face
You look at him like he has two heads, even when you’re spread infront of him like his next meal, you still have a fucking attitude.
“Oh, but you want me to fuck you right?” He scoffs, before stepping closer to you, fitting right between your legs.
If he just presses against you more, you'll feel the hard bulge in his pants that you can see so clearly right now.
You nod at his question
“You’re so fucking spoiled.” He says before leaning down against you, rocking his hips into you, letting his clothed dick grind on your pussy
You whine at the feeling. He presses small kisses to your neck, trailing up your jaw, he watches your face, the way your eyebrows furrow, like it’s killing you that he’s not inside you right now.
He doesnt think before pressing his lips to yours, Its not sweet, or loving, its fucking unhinged.
You immediately let him in, arms coming up to wrap around his neck to pull him closer, his chest brushing against your hardened nipples, when his hand comes up to twist them in his fingers you moan into his mouth. “Fuck me Jungwon- please” you cry out desperately making him smile
“Yeah? Spoiled brat wants to be fucked on her fancy car?” He looks down at you as you nod frantically
“Words or else you're not getting shit.” He stands up straight, sliding off his shirt with practiced ease before unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down, along with his boxers.
You watch as his cock hits his abdomen, the tip flushed red, you practically drool at the sight of it, at the familiar memory of sucking him off , a memory that has replayed every night since.
“Yes, I want you to fuck me, right here—please” Your face mimicks a pout that has him bringing his hand down to stroke himself in his hand
“Like the slut you are?” He presses, wanting to hear you say more
“Only for you” You say, biting your lip at the way he squeezes his length in his hand
You watch him line the head of his cock with your hole,coating his dick in your arousal from earlier, and the new wetness thats fomed since, you’re so fucking easy to get wet its insane.
He brings his hand to hold down your hips, to anchor himself before he slides into your pussy, he watches as you squirm, trying to adjust to his cock, his mouth hangs open as he bottoms out,
“You’re so tight holy shit-” He breathes out, doing small movements with his hips to get you to adjust better
You can't even think right now with the way he’s stuffing you so full. He pulls out slowly before stamming back into you, watching the way your tits bounce at the movement.
“mmm..faster “ You say through a moan, he thrusts into you slow, teasing, even if it is taking everything in him to not absolutely drill into your tight cunt.
You let out a frustrated sound, that has his eyes leaving where you two connect, and up to your face, He thrusts into you harder, just see your tits bounce, before he brings his hand up from your hip to squeeze one in his hand. “You want me to go faster?” He asks, voice rough, strained.
“Yes–fuck-” You nearly scream when he delivers a harsh slap to your tit, the sting making you arch your back off the car, He smirks down at you, as the flesh turns a light shade of pink
“Use your manners.” He smooths over the flesh with his hand, fingers grazing lightly over your nipple
“Please..faster Jungwon–please.” You whine out, thats all it takes before hes lifting your leg to rest on his shoulder and ruthlessly pounding into you.
You cant even keep your eyes open as he fucks into you, the only sound being the ones coming from both of your mouths, and your wet pussy squelching around his cock as his balls slap your ass over and over again.
He watches the tears that swell in your eyes “Are you fucking crying?” He teases, thumb coming up to swipe the tear threatening to fall.
He feels the way your hole flutters around his cock, “S-shit princess” He groans out, leaning down to take you in his mouth, you immediately kiss him back
he swallows the moans you let out, letting you wrap your legs around his hips to pull him imposisbly closer
“I-im gonna come–fuck-” You manage to say, moaning into his mouth like a damn pornstar.
“Fuck yeah, come on my cock princess” He says through desperate pants of his own, when he feels you clench down even harder he thrusts into you deeper, letting your pussy suck in his cock as you reach your high, the feeling making him shoot his warm load inside of you, the sounds that leave both your mouths completing it.
His head is buried in the crook of your neck, you feel him start to soften inside you, a major part of you proud of yourself for making him come.
“That was–fuck, you’re perfect.” He whispers, pulling out slowly, the sensitivetly making you wince slightly, using his hands to help him get up, he looks down at you, the fucked out expression on your face before grabbing his jeans and putting them on, you watch him, before moving to get up but he stops you “What are you doing?” he looks at you like you're crazy “I- I was going to leave..” You say sitting up
“No you’re not.” Is all he says before picking up his shirt and using it to clean you “What-”
“Im not a complete asshole princess.” He mutters, fixing your tank top and grabbing your skirt from the ground
“Plus, I want you to come back.” he adds, watching you put your skirt on
“To fuck?” You ask, tucking a strand of hair behind your ears
He can't help the small smile that paints his lips, watching you act like this, so clueless.
“And incase you rear end someone else.” he shrugs, watching the way your face instantly changes to irritation
“You fucking-” he pulls you to him, shutting you up with a hard kiss against your lips before pulling back
“Dont finish that sentence, because im perfectly fine with fucking you dumb again.” He warns, tone serious
That familiar playful look on your face tells him everything he needs to know, as you finish what you were saying.
CONTENT WARNINGS ⋮ smut! mdni!!! 18+!!! piv. unprotected sex. creampie. petnames. reader calls jay ‘daddy’. jay calls reader ‘bunny’, ‘good girl’. porn.. what plot? college!au, but not very relevant whoops dom!jay (can’t tell if he’s mean or not… lol) slightly inexperienced reader and jay who never stops validating her lol
AN ⋮ hi i’m having exams and i’m sick rn but i’m so horny for jay so it’s whatever fr
PLAYING ♫ ⋮ grown woman — pnd
they say the first time you have sex, it’ll hurt like the seventh ring of hell before it even begins to feel good—but with jay, somehow, your nerves translated all the pain to pure ecstasy.
you suppose, in a sense, it never hurt. at least, not in a way that was never worth it.
“you’re sure, baby?” jay’s asking for the nth time tonight, though he does nothing to stop you when you spread your thighs wide, crossing one over to the other side to straddle his hips—just nice. “go slow, hm? let me guide you, sweetheart. don’t want you cryin’ all night.”
your hands claw at his bare chest. a thin veil of sweat coats him, wearing down the smell of his stupidly expensive cologne, his bare scent filling your nose as you run your lips against the skin of his neck.
the room is lit by a singular candle on your desk, vanilla and cocoa wafting through the comfortable space of your bedroom. the night started off uneventful: jay, coming over to drop off food, and you, studying with your back bent over the table as he welcomed himself in.
his clothes were thrown into a dusty corner about ten minutes in. who knew how needy you could get from just a few days apart?
“oh my god, jay—“ you gasp, hips lowering at his discretion, those big palms of his letting you sink down on his length as slow as you can manage. he’s watching your every move, every twitch in your face, every tear that rolls down your cheek as you struggle to take him fully.
“breathe, baby. slow breaths.” jay mumbles, the muscles in his arms flexing and pulling, doing his best not to let you bottom out just yet. he knows your body best—knows you’ll end up a screaming, crying mess by the end of this if he lets that happen—and what kind of caring, considerate boyfriend would he be if he left you more stressed than when he arrived?
there’s tears prickling at your waterline, and you’re not even halfway down.
he’s so damn thick, heavy, stretching you wide and siphoning all the air out of your lungs. you feel him so deep that your throat clogs up, and all you manage to do is lock your eyes on his, forcefully deepening your breaths as he holds you close to his body—your foreheads press against each other’s, and for a moment, the pain almost dissolves fully.
“look at you. such a good girl.“ jay beams, wide, feeling you clamp down on him at the praise falling firom his tongue; he knows better than this, than to let you go and allow himself to feel you fully. not now, when you’re sniffling and trying so hard not to cry. “doing so well, baby. feels so perfect for daddy.”
he’s trying so hard to be good for you, too. holding back from lifting you up with his big, beefy arms, all to fuck up into you relentlessly—you’d thrash, cry, scream, beg him to slow down but never do anything to push him away.
“jaayy…” you drawl, leaning in to press a sloppy kiss to his bitten lips. he melts into it, head tilting to meet yours in something closer, the soft grunts he lets out being sent straight to your core. “wanna take all of you, please.”
impatient. you’re barely letting him in as it is.
how you two ended up here, tangled in bed sheets, seems a bit blurry: it was something about stress relief… going slow, making you feel good because he couldn’t stand seeing the look of anxiety physically manifesting on your face. those dumb little tests that drive you crazy, making his princess all nervous and jittery—gosh. it made his heart sink.
he takes such good care of you, doesn’t he?
“uh-uh. you know the rules, bunny.”
he just couldn’t help himself when your ten minute cuddles turned into stripping, and stripping turned into spooning naked, and spooning naked turned into fucking you in missionary—fingers interlaced, slow, wet kisses pressed against your temple, your pretty lips whispering his name like a prayer; never begging him to go harder, just for him to stay longer.
but then missionary wasn’t enough—you wanted to let yourself loose, unload all of the stress that’s been knotting your muscles, unbind all the strings of tension that’s been winding you tight these past few weeks.
and of course, park jongseong, being the gentleman he is, volunteers to be the one that undoes all of it for you.
“you’re so fucking mean,” you curse, “daddy—fuck, please—need more.”
jay lets you sink further, weight fully dropping onto his lap, your knees bending just behind his back—your shins lay flat against the sheets, and it’s like you were sent by angels with the way your boyfriend is seeing those pearly gates.
“really need scrub that mouth of yours clean, don’t i, baby?”
his big arms brush against your ribs as he begins to guide you back and forth, slow, hips rocking against his as he rearranges your guts all sweet and polite. jay’s pressing wet, hot kisses against your jaw, tongue laying flat against your flushed skin as he savours the taste of you.
“you’re lucky you’re so cute today,” jay whispers against your pulse, the tip of his nose running along the line of your neck. you shudder when he sticks tongue out again, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine until his tongue drags, down, down, down… all the way to a patch of skin under your ear, repeating your name like it’s the only thing grounding him to this reality. “could just stop right here. make you grind on that pillow while i watch, hm?”
he’s acting like he doesn’t know what he’s doing to you. it’s infuriating.
“n-no, nonono—i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it—“
you feel his lips curl into a familiar smirk.
“it’s okay, bunny. i’ll always forgive you.”
you grind harder, hips meeting his a little more forcefully. the pain has dissolved, radiating somewhere else, now fully replaced by him.
“my perfect fucking girl, my y/n,” his voice comes out low, needy, laced with something that has your stomach tumbling around inside of you. it sends a shock down your body, starting from where his teeth graze your neck, to the hickeys on your collarbone, ending at the handprints burned into your ass—his words drip like honey as you rock your body. “love you so much.”
“daddyyy…” you gasp when he squeezes your cheeks, palming at the flesh, greedy, pussy-drunk smile plastered on his lips at the way you can barely conjure your sentences.
“what’s wrong, sweetheart? too much for you?”
you’re moaning his name softly, rambling on about how he’s too big, though he pays no mind to the empty complaints—you take him in anyway, fully, deep, your cute lips trembling as he kisses the pain away.
“n-nooo… fuck—not.. not too…”
your head drops onto jay’s shoulder, feeling every inch of him burying itself inside of you in a new angle, pulsing and twitching as it begs for more friction—your cunt acts needy all the same, clenching down on your lover’s achingly hard length as he guides you forward and back, forward and back, a little rougher than before.
“can’t even speak—so cute.” jay groans, your slick walls beginning to contract around his swollen cock—he feels heat prickling at his neck, bubbling in his abdomen, making his head spin. he’s purring against your warm neck, tip grazing against that soft bundle of nerves hidden deep inside of your heat. jay watches you twitch with every hit, every nasty squelch that has you blushing furiously.
“you got it, baby. nice and slow.” your lover pulls away from your neck, just enough to have your face right in front of his. you’re shaking, pupils blown as you watch jay’s attention flicks up and down, from the sticky, creamy mess at the base of his dick to the glassy reflection in your eyes.
“daddy,” you sigh, only because you can’t think of any other word that might come out remotely comprehensible—your lover is the only thing you can blurt out right now, the only face you can even remember, the only thing that matters in pursuit of a high that seems dangerously close. “i-is this good? am i doing good?”
you lean forward, just slightly, your chest pressed up against his as you try to adjust.
“o-oh my goddd…” he groans, hands now propped against his sides, now fallen and slipped away from your body. “yeah, baby—doing so fucking good for me.”
jay’s going fucking crazy just watching you fight the tears, biting down on your already swollen lips (his fault) in a futile attempt to look like you’ve got it held together—so fucking adorable when you act all brave for him, even when you know it’s too much. “y-yes, fuck, like that, just like that—“
you must be doing something right if you have park jongseong stuttering and tripping over his words—but the cherry on top is when he throws his head back, throat bare, with his eyes screwed shut, your name and the way your cunt’s squeezing him dry being the only thing his brain can compute.
your knees dig into the mattress, hands gripping his shoulders as a means of shaky support. jay’s muscles flex under the dim light, every dip and rise and pull highlighted beautifully as he tries not to lay back and let you use him like some toy—though, the idea doesn’t seem all too bad now.
“fuuck… daddy, g’na cum,” you gasp, head drooping to watch the way he slides in and out of you with practiced ease. it’s disgustingly wet and sticky, his thighs painted in a shiny layer of your cum from previous rounds.
“i know, baby,” jay smiles lazily, “can feel it.”
he’s losing his mind as your walls tighten around him, the sound of your arousal squelching around his base.
your thighs ache as you bounce. up and down, like his good little bunny—eyes almost crossing from how impossibly good this feels, muscles starting to cramp up, and for a minute you’re thinking how pathetic this is: he’s just sitting there, watching you chase your release with a smug fucking grin on his face.
his sensitive tip’s bruising your insides, making itself remembered against your perfect walls, shaft bumping against your clit with every rock of your gorgeous hips.
you’re both out of words, lungs trying to keep up with the impending crash that’s about to hit you two, but all you can think about is how good park jongseong looks like this: completely at your mercy, chasing his own breath, and his tan skin that’s damp with sweat… hair’s sticking to his forehead, glued to his temples, pupils blown like he’s having the high of his life.
you lean forward, breathing hard against the exposed skin of his neck, and jay thinks something’s just snapped inside of him—his palms stay planted onto the sheets as he tries not to fall backwards, too consumed by how good you feel when you’re fucking him this perfectly.
“fuuuuck… baby, ‘m so close,” jay moans, nose tipped to the ceiling as you leave little hickeys all over him. right on top of his jugular, on his adam’s apple, on the sharp turn of his jaw where you know he’s most sensitive. “riding me so good—gonna cum, y/n—“
you’re whimpering as he swells up inside of you, feeling him getting bigger by the second—you’re getting dizzy just from the way jay’s saying your name, like water flowing from his tongue, natural, instinctual if anything.
his head falls forward, meeting your sweet gaze, jaw slack as he can barely find the words for just how heavenly this feels. he wonders if he’ll ever be able to go a day without having you ride him now—on his desk chair, while he works, or in the mornings when he feels lazier than you—god, the possibilities felt just endless.
“j-jay, i’m gonna cum,” you mumble, and the twitch in his lips barely goes unnoticed. “please, can i cum?”
“s-such a good girl, asking me for permission,” he drags, grinning now, tilting his head as if fascinated by your request. “gimme a kiss before you even think about it, hm?”
it’s almost pathetic how fast you chase his lips: it’s sloppy, teeth clashing, tongues desperately swirling around each other’s as moans get swallowed and saliva drips down your chins.
“c-cumming, daddy, i’m gonna—“
stars didn’t do it justice. you’re beginning to see constellations.
you feel every knot inside of you stretching, before it’s all snapped, your orgasm coming in blinding waves as you twitch violently on top of your boyfriend—which, conveniently, does it for him too.
“f-fucking cumming—shit, baby—“
you clamp down on him, violent, soaking him with sweet arousal that pains him not to drink up. his thighs tense, flexing before he feels his cock twitch, filling you up to the brim in hot, thick spurts of cum that paint your walls a pretty white. your arms loop around his neck, chests pressed up against one another while you try your best to ride out the intense wave. you feel jay’s cock pulsing, emptying his balls ‘till you swear it’s starting to drip down your thighs already.
you don’t know how long you stay that way.
perhaps it’s been ten minutes, or ten seconds, before jay’s hands are on you again. your mind is turned to slush, seeping out of your ear, but you can recall it faintly—how wordless it is—how jay falls back, his head resting on your chiikawa pillow as your nails dig into his chest once more, hips still pinned to his sides; it’s all hazy, but when you feel the tension in your belly starting to wind up… it barely even matters.
“really just a fucking bunny, aren’t you?”
my debut into the daddy world! hey #freakierbytheday.
✩ jay x reader (f) ── DILF!jay who is also a chef, exes to lovers, mutual pining, angst, fluff
✩ wc: 10.3k
✩ cw (reader discretion advised): healing from a painful breakup, mentions of previous toxic behavior, smut with a disgusting amount of feelings, jay legitimately wants to knock reader up so there's a lot of breeding talk
He loved you deliriously, but it wasn't enough to keep him from letting you go. Years later, you run into each other again.
He's a dad now.
“I’m fucking poisoning you, aren’t I?”
Cavalier. Presumptuous. High-and-mighty. Show-off. A trainwreck. A goddamn fucking know-it-all.
Park Jongseong.
You had found him at his worst all those years ago like a little stray cat drenched in rain, hissing at everybody who dares to come close just to make itself look intimidating. He had lost a friend and he was hurting a lot, making his defenses taller than The Great Wall. Made of iron, impenetrable almost.
You had fallen in love with his full moon smile hidden under layers of midnight brokenness.
“Do not say such things!”
“You and I both know who you really should be with,” he spat, jaw and fists clenched in unison. “We should… we should just break up.”
Another outburst again. Jay was a man made up of intense emotions instead of flesh and bones. Pleasant delight to manic euphoria, tinge of arousal to fatal lust, mild irritation to unhinged fury at record speed. You loved how passionate he was, but it was indeed true that it was hurting you every once in a while.
But calling that poison?
“Please,” you begged him in tears. “Please don’t do this.”
He loved you deliriously, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from letting you go because he thought you belonged with someone else. Someone who had a decent command over his own emotions, someone who would make you mostly happy rather than half the time. They would at least be able to stay in your good graces when their pros trumped their cons.
Whereas Jay was in a vicious cycle of erasing all the rights he accumulated with a single colossal wrong.
“I know how much I’m hurting you. It’s who I am at this point. I can’t help it,” he averted his eyes from you, squeezing his eyes to push his tears back. “Just… Don’t make this any harder.”
“Jay, please… We can get through this together. We can—”
“It’s not your job to fix me!”
And just like that, he walked away. As if all those years you had spent together were just a dream. As if all the dreams you had did not exist. As if he had never called you his sun. It had caught on so much that you wouldn’t even call each other by your names; he would call you Sunny instead, and you would call him Moony.
Sun? What sun?
Light was a social construct, and it could go to fucking hell. Ever since Jay left, it was always new moon for you. Darkness was all you knew. Everything lost its color and turned into bleak monochrome shades.
And it was getting dimmer with each passing day.
You were going crazy. You talked to your friends about the same things over and over again, but nothing was consoling you. Nothing was able to splash a bit of cold water on the hellfire that broke out in your heart. The lilies you loved so much had died. It kept raining torrents. You cried and cried and cried over him until you ran out of tears to cry. You had never felt this helpless in your life.
Jay used to sing quiet lullabies for you in his arms.
You lost sleep.
Jay used to make grilled cheese sandwiches for you on Saturday mornings.
You lost your appetite.
Jay used to draw silly doodles on post-its and stick them all over the house so that you would laugh when you saw them.
You lost joy.
You bundled yourself in your cocoon of blankets for days on end, hoping it would pass. Sooner than later. Sooner than later. Sooner. Sooner. Please, I’m dying over here!!!
“It’s time, sweetheart. Come on, get up.”
You were so consumed in grief that you had lost all sense of reality. To this day, you were thankful to Hyejin for dragging you to a therapy appointment that day.
It still took a long-ass time, but you at least managed to reach a state of neutrality instead of violently breaking down when you heard the name Jay. The hellfire was put out, but the gentle sizzle of the everburning amber was still there. You had no choice but to come to terms with carrying that around for the rest of your life.
When it was time to reintegrate with the rest of the world again, you even entertained the thought of having someone in your life. You went on several dates. There were people you genuinely liked among them, too, but it always ended up the same.
“You’re still in love with your ex, aren’t you?”
Maybe. You were deluding yourself into thinking otherwise, but maybe… Even after all this time…
You couldn’t help it. Jay was your first true love, so naturally, the cut he left behind was the deepest of them all. He still popped into your mind every now and then, making you wonder how he was doing. Whether he was happy or not. Whether he was thinking about you.
Whether he was regretting his decision at all.
When you woke up that Saturday, you had a really bad craving for grilled cheese, but you realized were out of ingredients. If you left right away, maybe everything would be different, but you decided to leave after taking a shower that lasted exactly twenty three minutes. When you left your apartment, you briefly returned because you forgot to take out the trash. The cab you took ran one red light on the way, and you debated whether you should go to the bookstore now or after you finished your shopping, eventually opting for later.
…all of which cumulatively contributed to the exact moment you thought you had finally gone insane in front of the dairy aisle.
“Sunny?”
A bolt of lightning struck in the exact spot you were standing when you heard that name rendered in that voice. You heard something erupt in the distance, and the tremors of a violent mushroom cloud destroyed everything into a pile of goddamn debris.
When you slowly turned your head to your right, you indeed saw the one thing you were dreading to see for so long holding bread slices and a block of cheddar in his hands.
“Jay…”
His equally shocked expression was slowly replaced by a smile, and once you saw those cheekbones raised again, you felt your heart thumping in your ears.
“I can’t believe it’s actually you. You look fantastic!” he threw the groceries into his shopping cart and approached you. “How have you been?”
Your heart ached. He looked as good as you remembered him. Even better actually with those waves in his hair. The dark circles under his eyes were long gone, and while happy was up for debate, he at least looked healthy.
“I’m doing better,” a vague smile appeared on your lips. “How have you been?”
“More or less the same neighborhood.”
Both of you were looking at each other, and there was something akin to an awe-filled silence between you. It wasn’t tense, but it was extremely intense. You were replaying every single memory of Jay in your head at x100 speed and wondering if he was doing the same. One wrong word could pop the oddly cozy bubble that immediately enveloped this moment, and you weren’t ready for it to end yet. You wanted to beg him just like he used to when you tried to drag him out of bed.
Please, Sunny, just five more minutes!
“Are you in a hurry? Can we grab a cup of coffee right outside?”
You had managed to take one step forward after fighting all those demons. What if this was ten steps back? What if this small encounter was going to leave another unfillable void in your soul, and what if—?
“Of course,” you heard yourself say despite everything that was yelling at you inside your head. He smiled at you again.
It made you wanna throw yourself into the freezing cold ocean every time he smiled like that.
After completing your purchases, you made your way to the coffee shop in front of the bookstore, and Jay headed to the counter without even asking you what you would like. He returned with two large cups of dark roast americano, and you could smell the drop of caramel syrup in it. He still remembered how you took your coffee.
Your heart sizzled.
“Thank you,” you dragged the coffee towards yourself on the table for two. “You grew out your hair. It really suits you.”
“And you dyed yours. I really like the color.”
There were so many things you wanted to say, so many questions you wanted to ask, but you didn’t even know where to start. Then something caught your attention as you kept playing with the lid of your cup.
“You got a tattoo, huh?”
“It’s Polaris,” Jay touched his left wrist. “It’s for my daughter. She’s my little star guiding me.”
Your heart dropped to your stomach so fast that you felt queasy. Did you… hear that correctly just now?
“You… you have a daughter,” you flashed him a terrorized smile.
It wasn’t a question, but it was. It wasn’t an interrogation, but it was. So he did find someone after you. Not only did he find them, but also… Also…
Did you do to her the same things you used to do to me? Did you also tell her you loved her endlessly? Was she able to touch you like I would? Did you miss me when you realized I beat her at that one good?
“Yeah!” he brought out his wallet and showed you a picture in it with a smile. “Her name is Nari.”
“N–Nari?”
It would have hurt less if he started torturing you right then and there. Lilies… He named his daughter after goddamn lilies. Mr. I’m-Poisoning-You had indeed gone ahead and found a toxin-immune terrain to breed.
Was this a fucking joke?!
“Oh wow, she’s the spitting image of you!”
“She’s great,” Jay looked at the picture fondly. “Being a father really changes you, you know. It puts things into perspective.”
Of course you knew. You had always known he would be a terrific father. A quirky one, for sure, but filled to the brim with love for his children.
“How about you? You got any kids?”
You couldn’t believe you were asked this question by Jay as if you didn’t plan to have two kids once upon a time. One boy and one girl, the best of both worlds. Preferably twins. He was going to annoy the shit out of you with your son, and you were going to retaliate with your daughter because that was, quote, ‘How she will learn to be a boss lady later in life.’
“No,” you flashed a broken smile at him.
The mood was getting considerably solemn. What were you expecting anyway? For him to not be over you? He was the one who wanted to walk away, so why the surprise? What kind of hope were you holding onto all this time?
Were you unknowingly holding onto some hope all this time?
“Uh… So what do you do?” you attempted to change the topic. “Did you make it as a frontman like you always wanted?”
“I’m actually a chef now,” Jay leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms on his now broader chest. “If you’ve ever been to Four Seasons downtown, I’ve probably served you.”
“Whoa, isn’t that a Michelin restaurant?”
“Which I’m responsible for obtaining.”
“That’s fucking impressive!”
Neither of you touched that radioactive waste zone again until you reached the bottom of your coffees. Instead, you talked about stuff you would do at a college reunion. What happened after you graduated? Were you able to land a good job? Of course you were; your professors never shut up about how promising you were. Your boss, though? He could go fuck himself. The chef thing? While he was wandering around, Jay found himself in the cookbook aisle at this very bookstore one day, and it was all downhill from there. He had never thought about turning his hobbies into a career before and he should have done that sooner.
Both of you spent an entire hour like this. Pretending. Acting like you weren’t extremely shaken by the other’s presence, and in complete disbelief that this was the reality you were leading now.
“It was great to see you,” Jay spoke as you were leaving the place.
It was a disaster to see you, you wanted to yell at his face. I’ve been doing so fucking well up till now, and now I’m back to goddamn square one. Why did you have to fucking show up again?
“You too,” you smiled at him instead.
When you least expected it, he reached for a hug and all of a sudden…
That familiar scent.
Sandalwood. Ocean. Salt. Sunscreen. Forest breeze. Pine trees. Passion. Love. Lust. All in the same whiff.
Jay.
The one that got away. Willingly.
Even after all this time, I still love you.
“I really hope this won’t be our only encounter,” he sheepishly smiled and took his phone out. “Do you mind if we—?”
“I don’t think so, Jay.”
His expression immediately fell. He was sulking. You hated it when he pouted. You just wanted to give him the entire universe so that he would smile again.
But this past hour had taken the life out of you.
“I’m sorry, I–I didn’t mean to assume,” he put his phone back and turned his eyes to the ground. “Of course. When you agreed to have coffee with me, I just thought you… you weren’t...”
“It’s not that.”
You creased your brows trying to pick your words carefully. A part of you was still furious with him for what he had put you through, but it wasn’t like you wanted to get back at him for it. You were trying to move on, and exchanging numbers and having him around was certainly not the way to do that.
You could never be friends with him again. Not when you knew what he tasted like because you knew for a fact that he tasted like your soulmate.
And you were forever doomed to be the fully functional half of a perfect whole without Jay.
“I almost died trying to get over you,” you finally met his gaze. “It was nice to catch up, yes, but you seem to have much more important priorities now.”
You reached out for his hand, and he watched you stroke his tattoo with your thumb.
“My daughter.”
“I’m very proud of you, you know,” you smiled genuinely for the first time. “I know it’s not unheard of for people to change, but I’m very glad to see you changed for the better.”
Jay opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Instead, he smiled at you again, albeit in a thousand pieces.
It made you wanna burn yourself alive every time he smiled like that. You instinctively pecked his cheek and hailed an approaching cab.
“Say hi to the missus for me,” you smiled at him as you got in and took out your earphones from your pockets. “Houston Drive, please.”
Only after the cab took off was Jay able to register what you just said.
“Wait!” he dropped his bags. “Sunny, please wait!!!”
Jay started running after the yellow vehicle gliding down the road like a yellow serpent, but to no avail. He eventually slowed down to a halt, panting hard as he held his knees in complete fatigue. If he knew you would magically hear him somehow, he would yell after you at the top of his lungs until he completely lost his voice, but all his last remaining strength allowed him was a tiny whisper he could barely hear himself.
And it was turning into a sob dangerously fast.
“There is no missus, Sunny, please…”
“You’re fucking kidding me!”
“Nope. I’d rather gargle cyanide than bring him up in a conversation,” you talked into the speakerphone as you were tearing the lettuce in the kitchen. “Jay is a daddy now.”
“And who’s the bitch?”
“Jin…”
“I SAID WHO’S THE BITCH I JUST WANNA ACCIDENTALLY RUN INTO HIS WIFE SOMEWHERE WITH MY CAR!”
While Hyejin’s murderous intentions to avenge you were appreciated, you didn’t possess the knowledge that would satisfy her.
“I didn’t ask.”
“What do you mean you didn’t ask? Aren’t you at least a little bit curious?”
“I’m not about to spiral myself into a comparison olympics, sweetie.”
“Ugh, fucking Park. Pops out of nowhere like a goddamn jack in a box after all this time,” Hyejin scoffed into her receiver. “If I ever see him, I will crack his ring finger!”
You initially laughed at her violent comments, but then… something hit you.
“Actually, he wasn’t wearing one.”
“A married man and is not wearing his wedding ring?”
“I mean… I assumed he was married.”
“Let me ask you something, Sunny,” she sarcastically emphasized. “Did you or did you not hear it from his mouth that he was married?”
You drew a total blank at her words. No, you hadn’t asked him that because why the fuck would you? Who would have wanted to know what would be their untimely demise?
“But he has a daughter.”
“That literally doesn’t answer my question,” Hyejin insisted. “Did he tell you he was married?”
“He… He didn’t.”
“WOMAN!!!”
You didn’t know what to make of her reaction. When you were still together with Jay, Hyejin was the number one fan of your relationship, but obviously, people had to choose sides after a devastating breakup. She was always there for you through your darkest times, but now…
Was she insinuating what you thought she was insinuating?
“Here’s what we’re doing,” she continued, unbothered. “Next week, you’re getting into your classiest slut attire and we’re having dinner at Four Seasons for operation ‘This is what you missed out on motherfucker’. I’m making a reservation right now.”
“Hyejin, please!”
“I SAID WHAT I SAID. DON’T MAKE ME RUN YOU OVER, TOO!”
Then she hung up on your face.
Jay didn’t say it, yeah, but it didn’t necessarily mean that he was single, either.
But what if he was?
What if he was?
What if…?
“So what if he is?!” you threw your phone on the couch in exasperation.
On the D-Day, you took the longest shower of your life drowned in your thoughts, and started to get ready for your dinner plans as if you were going on a fucking date.
The possibility of seeing Jay again stirred something in you, no matter how much it was in a work context. If anything, you were nervous to be in his fascinating Michelin chef presence, quite possibly fucking shit up in the hottest way possible. Because that was what he was. Intense. No matter what he did. You didn’t even know how you would be able to see him considering… He had to be in the kitchen, no? It wasn’t like the man was serving people himself. Would you make up an excuse? Would you try to sneak into the back? Would you purposefully send your food back, or ask for the chef to come over so that you could pay him compliments in person?
Why did you agree to Hyejin’s plans again?
“Good evening. Did you have a reservation?”
You were there to have dinner, no? Basic human needs and whatnot. Then why did it feel like this man was questioning your entire life trying to decide whether you were worth being there or not?
“Yes. I believe it’s under Ahn Hyejin?”
The maître d’ went through the gargantuan notebook he had in front of him, and once he confirmed the name, he made his way inside.
“This way, please.”
You thought he was going to lead you to a table in the middle of the people crowding that large hall, so naturally, you were befuddled as hell when he passed the restaurant area and guided you towards a more secluded place.
“I’m sorry, I think there’s a mistake. I’m supposed to be having dinner with my friend?”
“Yes, Ms. Ahn has booked this VIP room for you.”
“For–For me?” you creased your brows in confusion. “As in she’s not coming?”
He finally slid a door open and gestured you to go in. There was a table for two inside in front of a window looking over a fantastic city view along with a lot of kitchen utensils. You walked towards one of the chairs and sat down.
“Enjoy your experience,” he left you by yourself in that extravagantly luxurious room.
Confused out of your mind, you attacked your phone to call Hyejin to ask where the hell she was, but she wasn’t picking up. The one time you needed her the most…
“Dammit, Jin!”
She was the one who came up with this plan without telling you what the plan fucking entailed, so what in the fresh fuck was up with that right now?
“Good evening.”
You heard the door slide open again. A person clad in jet black kitchen attire let themselves in and greeted you without looking at you. You could literally hear the fireworks or a nuclear bomb go off in the distance when you turned towards the source of that honey voice. The person’s expression, on the other hand, was between the brink of crying and flashing the most genuine smile of their life.
Your heart melted into a puddle when you saw him.
“My name is Park Jongseong. I’ll be your personal chef tonight.”
Park Jongseong. So that was how he introduced himself to the people who paid to see him. He might not be holding a guitar right now, but he still managed to be a rockstar after all.
“You’ll— my— personal what?”
“Well, isn’t that why you came here tonight?” he flashed a very entertained, lopsided smile at your flustered state. “To dine?”
Was it??? The last time you checked, you were under the impression that you were going to have dinner with your best friend to throw shade at your ex. Not be in such an unnecessarily close proximity to him that you would question all your life choices that led to that moment.
“I–I don’t… Hyejin booked…”
“Ah, of course. The boss lady herself,” Jay slightly bowed at the name as a sign of respect, then licked his lips with absolute mischief shooting from his eyes. “So you did tell her about me, huh?”
“Why— Why— Why would I do that?”
“I find it a little hard to believe that she of all people would coincidentally request me. I know she put a bounty on my head back in the day.” He casually handed you a long piece of cardboard that looked like an obnoxiously expensive wedding invitation. “Would you like my recommendations, or would you like to create your own menu for tonight?”
He was standing tall right next to you, posture upright, arms clasped behind his back, waiting on you like your personal bodyguard. You had noticed how much he must have been working out a couple of days back, but those bulging veins that traveled from his elbow down to his hands confirmed it for you.
Jay used to despise moving.
“I’d like to have so very much wine, please,” you handed the menu back to him while gulping, your throat parched all of a sudden. He chuckled in delight.
“As for the food?”
“Surprise me.”
His chuckle turned into gentle laughter for some reason, and you couldn’t tell if the urge bubbling inside you was to punch him in his stupid handsome face or to rip that unnecessarily sexy uniform off of his bonkers hot body.
What was happening right now?!
“With pleasure,” he took the thick cardboard away from you.
Jay opened a very decent bottle of cabernet sauvignon first to accompany your appetizers, and then promptly got to work. You watched him create magic right before your eyes. The way he was executing his craft with such passion and enthusiasm felt like you were supposed to be paying just to watch him cook. It was that satisfying, and he made it look so easy. Smooth wrist movements, flawless command over the knives he held in a tight grip, brows furrowed and lips slightly pouting with how laser focused he was. You didn’t even realize how much time had passed when he finished your first course.
“Please enjoy,” he placed an incredibly fancy-looking black porcelain plate in front of you.
And when you took your first bite of the food…
“God—DAMN, Jay Jay, you used to struggle even with pasta. How the HELL did this happen?!”
You knew you fucked it up royally when you held Jay’s gaze. As nervous as you were, the familiarity of having him around had gaslit you into thinking you were still in his kitchen from years ago, and the address just slipped from your lips. Jay Jay. The way he looked at you so longingly when he heard that name from you again… After all those years…
You wished the ground would swallow you whole.
“Thank you. I appreciate it very much,” Jay broke into a very comforting and content smile, sensing your severe internal struggle. “I’ll get started with your entrée.”
He proceeded to prepare your main course, and all of a sudden, you felt something snap at the back of your head. Maybe it was the burgundy courage sponsored by the wine coursing in your veins, but as he was busying himself with the vegetables in front of him, it just… slipped out.
“Why don’t you make it for two?”
“Are you expecting company?” he asked, not looking away from his cutting board.
“I’d like you to join me.”
He finally met your eyes, and you saw the whirlwind of emotions stirring in his. Surprised, definitely. Undertones of happy. A tinge of excitement maybe. And then he smiled.
It made you wanna lock him in the tightest embrace every time he smiled like that.
“I can’t do that while I’m working,” he returned to his cooking, somewhat bashful.
“You can if a paying customer is asking you to,” you insisted. “Please.”
Please? Did you just say please?
Did you know how many years he waited for you to say that in any context? Did you know how unequipped he was to say no to that request?
Without saying anything, he threw another marinated steak on the grill in front of him and added another portion of baby potatoes right next to it. Shortly after, he pulled two plates from the cabinet below him and decorated them exactly the same.
Minus the little demiglace sun he drew on your plate and a crescent moon on his.
After he placed the plates on the table, he grabbed a fishbowl wine glass and poured a generous amount of burgundy courage into it as if he wanted to drown himself.
“To you,” he raised his glass.
You reciprocated. Your glasses kissed each other way more fearlessly than you two could coexist in the same room. If Jay cooked dinner for you in the privacy of his own kitchen, it would only be slightly more intimate than this.
You both ate in silence for some time. You savored every bite, every flavor he managed to squeeze into that plate. It might be completely delusional of you to think this way, but for some reason, everything everything in front of you tasted so sweet just because Jay made it for you. Nothing in this world could be this concerningly delicious to make you think whether you were having your last meal or not.
“Jay, I’m going to ask you something.”
To hell with it. The itch at the back of your brain was about to drive you crazy, so you just had to scratch it before you snapped and went on a fucking rampage.
“Yes?” he looked at you with his brows raised.
“To be brutally honest, I’m kind of scared to hear the answer,” you put your fork down and stared at it. “Are you…?”
How to ask this? How to not pry but pry very much at the same time? How to make him think you didn’t have the ulterior motives that you absolutely had? What if he gave the wrong answer? Because there was a wrong answer here.
“You’re… You’re married, right? To Nari’s mother, I mean.”
“No.”
A total lack of pause. He answered your question so nonchalantly as if to say What the hell is wrong with you?
“REALLY?! I–I mean…” you immediately turned your volume down. “I mean, are you… are you divorced, or…?”
“We never got married.”
What the hell was that feeling of relief spreading throughout your chest at a concerning speed? It needed to stop. It had to stop before you started having hopes for something you ab–so–lute–ly shouldn’t!
“W–Why not?”
“Because we were never together to begin with,” Jay took a sip from his wine. “Nari wasn’t exactly born out of love.”
The clouds passing by his beautiful face… They were a distinct type of nimbus. Quite dark. Charged with lethal bolts of lightning. If they rained, they would sure as fuck create catastrophic floods after them.
“Her mother and I…” he started drawing circles on the rim of his glass. “Let’s just say our relationship lasted for less than an hour under a lot of haze. There was a time in my life when I turned to less-than-ideal means to…”
Then he pierced a hole in your soul with his eyes.
“To try and forget you.”
Once upon a time, you knew a man. He wasn’t aware he had pirated his entire personality from someone else, and he would do anything to get his way. Anything. Even say things that would mean so much to an average person with zero restlessness on his conscience because he didn’t have one. He just didn’t give a fuck who he was hurting as long as he got what he wanted.
Years later, that very same man was sitting right in front of you, holding his heart between his hands openly and giving you a free pass to crush it into mere dust if you wished. The amount of vulnerability in his voice… He knew he deserved it. He knew he deserved the worst of it.
“I’m not proud of it, but I’m taking responsibility. She was the one who wanted to keep the baby, but she is nowhere to be found most of the time. So I filed for full custody.”
“You’re—You’re raising her on your own?!”
“Yes,” he smiled proudly, then switched to his playfully cocky mode you were a bit too familiar with. “I mean, Rose helps us a lot of course, but I’m not about to give her all the credit. I am a superdad to my baby.”
You involuntarily chuckled. Why of course, even in the form of a joke, he just had to compliment himself because that was Park Jongseong for you.
“How old is she now?”
“She’s four.”
If someone had told you that years later you would be listening to this beautiful disaster with Everest-level cockiness talk about his baby girl fondly, you would die laughing. And yet…
Jay wriggled in his seat and cleared his throat, his eyes averted from you as he spoke.
“Well… Are–Are you…?”
“Am I what?” you reached for your glass.
“You know,” he dragged his finger down the stem of his glass as if that was the most important task at hand. “Have someone. In your life.”
He seemed almost scared to look at you, but eventually mustered his strength to face his fate. You dragged on the silence for as long as you could handle and shook your head no. Not only was there massive relief on his face, but Jay also let out a very deep breath that accompanied his blooming smile.
“Sunny.”
The tone of his voice changed all of a sudden. Serious. Determined. He reached for your hand over the table and fearlessly looked deep into your eyes as he talked this time.
“I’ve never stopped having feelings for you. Never.”
His skin on yours once again. Hesitant but oh so soothing. Asking for permission to please please come back home.
All your senses were extremely heightened somehow.
“I thought I was doing what I believed was the best for you, but I hit rock bottom. I lived my life as a walking corpse after I let you go, but you know why I’m glad Nari exists?”
Every time he talked about his baby girl, all his razor-sharp features softened, and the amount of compassion he had for her was simply bursting out of him.
“She turned me into a man that I’ve always wanted to become for you. She is teaching me about patience. She is teaching me about unconditional love,” Jay swallowed a sob to push it way down. “And she reminds me so much of you.”
This right there was how cruel life was. You both had to be dragged through hell and back in your own ways to become the people you were at that very moment. Nothing had gone according to plan, but then it made you think.
So what if it hadn’t?
Would that necessarily be the better option? What if you and Jay stayed together to the point of resenting each other so badly that you couldn’t stand the idea of sharing a life anymore? So what if it wasn’t you two that were supposed to change each other for the better? At the end of the day, Jay was a household chef and a devoted father who seemed much more level-headed, and you were a successful editor-slash-writer who no longer let anyone else occupy the space right at the center of your life.
All things considered, did that really turn out so bad?
All things considered, could you give him another chance?
All things considered, would you be able to find it in your heart to forgive him?
“You’ve always been my Moony, Jay,” you smiled at him through the tears threatening to fall. “And you always will be.”
His smile, on the other hand, grew so devastatingly big that you were almost blinded by it.
“I was thinking,” he began his words with the bashfulness of a teenager, “after I’m done here, would you like t—?”
“Pardon the intrusion, miss.”
“DO YOU FUCKING MIND, SUNOO?!”
The poor maître d’ was just doing his job, but the interruption at the best part exasperated Jay so intensely that he couldn’t help the volume of his voice, startling both of you.
“I sincerely apologize,” he judged the crap out of Jay solely with his eyes, not intimidated in the slightest, and put a little envelope in front of you. “Ms. Ahn extends her regards.”
When you opened it, you saw that it contained two keycards in it for Room 1116.
“Well, Sunoo, Ms. Ahn is indeed here, isn’t she?” you closed the envelope and shot him a knowing look. “I promise I’m not going to do anything. I just want to know.”
The man in his crisp brand-name suit got flustered out of his mind but felt obliged to provide you with an answer anyway.
“We’ve been strictly instructed to monitor your mood and let her know if you were in distress.”
“Thank you very much. While I don’t appreciate the CCTV treatment, please tell her I’m really enjoying myself.”
As the man apologetically bowed and made himself scarce, you removed one of the keycards from the envelope and slid it towards Jay.
“Here’s your tip, Chef Park,” you spoke with the softest but infinitely seductive tone. “Why don’t you pick up a bottle of your most expensive champagne and meet me upstairs?”
Without giving him a chance to speak, you got up to your feet. Jay’s eyes followed your every move, and his jaw dropped when you came that close to him and leaned in.
“You remember how we used to not let each other sleep, right?” you placed a little kiss on his nose and left him there to marinate in his feelings for a while.
You thought he would take a while to arrive, but shortly after you entered the room, you heard a knock on your door.
“Can I come in?”
“Why didn’t you just let yourself in?” you looked at him in surprise.
“I uh… I wanted to make sure you actually want this,” he scratched his neck. “Maybe you’re having second thoughts, or maybe y—”
Immediately familiar.
You shut him up with a kiss, and his eyes immediately closed. His lips within yours again… So soft. Occupied the space in your mouth just right. Burned you with the amount of desire they were coated in.
Some things had changed, yes, but some things were never ever going to change.
He still tasted the same.
“Does that answer your question?”
Your fingers dragging down his cheek was the absolute last straw. The feeble thread that barely held Jay’s remaining sanity finally broke, and he slammed the door behind him, devouring your lips with impatient hunger as you pulled him in from the collar of his uniform. Your hands were all over each other, wanting to touch everything at the same time. You guided his hand between your legs to show him what he still did to you after all this time, and that delicious groan he let out once he felt your wetness…
Complete music to your ears.
“You fucking know how weak I am for you, so you’re doing it on purpose, aren’t you?” he panted into your mouth. “Keep this up and someone’s getting knocked up tonight.”
“Then fucking put your money where your mouth is. I dare you to breed me.”
“I hope your birth control fails.”
“I hope your condom breaks.”
“Joke’s on you. I don’t have one on me.”
You pulled him in for another fiery kiss, but when you attempted to take off his top, he stopped you.
“No, no, no, baby, I need to shower first.”
You shuddered when he addressed you just like he used to. His eyes widened when he also realized what he just called you and examined your face intently to determine the level of his fuckup.
“I’m… I’m so sorry. Force of habit.”
“It’s fine,” you smiled at him, contrary to his expectations. “More than fine actually.”
“I promise I’ll be back in five minutes. Time me.”
Three steps later, he suddenly turned around and went for another kiss as if that was the very last one he would be able to get.
“And stay wet,” he bit into your lips with a smile.
You giggled as he bolted to the shower. When he reemerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his wet locks sticking to his face, he still had forty-three seconds to spare.
And you almost lost your whole entire shit when you saw him half-naked after all this time.
Jay had always been gorgeous, but now as a bonus feature, the man had become totally RIPPED.
“Now, where were we?” he sat right next to you and attempted to kiss you again.
“Nuh-uh,” you stopped him in panic as if you weren’t on the brink of jumping him yourself. “You did kill the mood. You gotta work me up again.”
“Again,” he echoed you. “So I did work you up before.”
Even when he knew what he was doing to you, Jay would always try to coax you into saying it out loud. Give him attention, tell him how handsome he was, praise his oral skills, moan his name when you were cumming… He lived for that shit.
But once his lips touched your skin again, there were no remains of the playfully brazen guy anymore. It was more like he was trying to tell you something without actually saying it.
“Did you miss me, too, Sunny?” he kissed the corner of your lips and started moving downwards. “Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”
His hands were all over you, albeit moving very unhurriedly. He was inhaling you a lot as if he had been to war and was down bad with homesickness.
“Say yes,” he spoke into your neck while pulling the straps of your dress down. “Even if you didn’t, please say yes.”
“But yes,” you affirmed and kept repeating it like a mantra to him just so it sank in. “Yes, I missed you to death. Yes. Yes.”
No amount of shampoo or shower gel could hide his sandalwood scent from you. You were getting lost in him just like you always did as if you hadn’t spent any time apart. Jay stopped for a moment and looked at your face while stroking your cheeks, eyes beaming with adoration.
“You have another tattoo?” you touched his right shoulder. “Don’t tell me that’s for your daughter, too, because this looks depressing.”
It was a completely blackened sun like it was in an eclipse. His expression turned serious all of a sudden.
“It’s for you actually.”
Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. It looked more like an ancient rune used to summon demons, so you had no idea what to expect. But you knew it couldn’t possibly mean anything nice.
At least, you thought.
“You were my sun. You still are. I already felt like I had completely eclipsed you, but when we broke up, my entire world darkened,” he caressed your hair. “It’s a little brighter now thanks to my little girl, but it’s… It’s not the same.”
You were suddenly overcome with so many emotions that you found yourself on the brink of crying. Jay’s eyes. Jay’s lips. Jay’s love.
Jay.
Jay.
Jay.
“Love me,” your voice quivered. “You owe me years’ worth of touches. Just fucking love me!”
“Shh, it’s okay now,” he kissed your hands and lay you down. “I’m right here.”
You let him pacify you with his touches as he stripped you fully. He caressed every inch of your body softly and marked every piece of skin he charted with a little kiss. As if he was discovering you afresh.
Because all things considered, he actually was.
“Hate me all you want. I deserve it,” he pulled himself up to your eye level again. “Just let me kiss it all better. However long it takes.”
Then he moved on to place his wet ‘days of the week’ kisses that you had missed so so so much.
“Monday.”
Your lips.
“Tuesday.”
Your neck.
“Wednesday and Thursday.”
Your breasts.
“Friday.”
Your stomach.
“Saturday.”
Your thighs.
“And Sunday.”
Your clit.
“You remember how we used to party on the weekends, right, Sunny?”
You inadvertently let out a giggle when he smirked at you that mischievously.
“Let’s see if I remember it correctly,” Jay got comfortable between your legs. “This spot is for sucking.”
He wrapped his gorgeous lips around your clit and sucked on it with barely there pressure just to tease you. He knew it would never be enough even if he kept this up for hours.
“This spot is for kissing.”
He moved right under your clit and kept placing feathery kisses on the flesh. He was slowly pushing you towards the very edge of impatience, and he loved the way you kept flinching under him.
“And this spot is for licking.”
Then he slithered down to your oozing entrance and started to lick into you with intermittent kisses. Just like he did on the nights you made up after a huge fight.
“Ah, Jay…”
“Call me your baby again,” he spoke quietly into your pussy, but you could feel his words inside you. “Call me baby like you used to.”
His way of passionately apologizing to you over and over again. He was drawing little suns and crescent moons on your pussy with his tongue, hoping you would recognize them. Hoping you would accept them as tokens of how sorry he was.
“Fucking god, your taste,” he contorted his face in absolute delight. “You taste better than the rarest delicacies.”
He put your hands on his head for you to guide him, wrapped his hands around your thighs, and started heavily making out with your cunt. He was going at it so ferociously that just thirty seconds in, you were already halfway there.
“I’ve kicked several addictions so far, but this? I’m never getting sober,” he wiped his chin smeared with your arousal and sucked on his finger. “I’m addicted to you. Down bad. Always have been.”
He gently slipped two fingers inside and started massaging that spot right behind your clit. Your moans were slowly transforming from quiet little staccatos to dragged-out sounds of pleasure as if you were belting a note.
“Better, right?”
“Much better,” you tugged on his moist locks. “God, you’re fucking amazing with those fingers, baby. You’re… You’re so… Oh, fuck!”
Jay was never able to control how he reacted to you whenever you praised him in bed for any reason. He was in dire withdrawal as it was; it had been too long a time since you showered him with compliments, but you throwing in baby in there? You might have said one word, but it still automatically awakened his beast mode because if there was one thing he loved more than anything, it was to compete with himself. In any capacity. His fingering got a little faster, and he alternated between sucking and licking long drags on your pussy. A little faster. A little harder. A little wetter.
Until you came all over his fingers.
He licked them clean and crawled on top of you to kiss you with his cum-stained lips, and once you gathered your wits again, you lay Jay down, hovering over him. You kissed him with the very same days of the week. His scars. His tattoos. Like you were accepting his apologies. Like you were accepting him for who he was. He kept wincing under you in pleasure and tried to catch a glimpse of your face as you made your way down.
“You remember how we used to fuck for hours on Sunday mornings, right, Jay Jay?”
You worshipped his abdomen just the way he liked it, touching and placing wet kisses all over. His large hands were caressing your hair as he watched you with his head tilted, dying of anticipation of the moment your lips would finally meet where he needed you the most. Jay loved the prelude, always had, and his breathing was much faster already.
“Should I go further down?” you teased him by kissing his crotch. “Should I?”
“Don’t make me beg!”
You would, but maybe some other time. You took his flushed cock in your mouth and started blowing him at a torturously slow pace. Deep. To taste his essence rather than pleasure him. All of a sudden, it felt like he was never gone, and this was just another night in your bed you were spending together until the faint blue lights of daybreak told you to stop fucking and go to sleep.
Even after all this time, I still love you.
He didn’t rush you. He was so scared you would come to your senses and leave him all alone for good that he couldn’t even move.
He wasn’t about to mess it all up again.
“I’m right here,” you held his hands to reassure him. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Once you said that, all the muscles he was unknowingly clenching loosened, and he relaxed into the pillow, completely letting go and just relishing the feeling of you around him. He was getting dangerously close to his release, but that wasn’t a part of his plan.
“Don’t!” he stopped you when you started choking on him. “Don’t make me cum. Not yet.”
When you let go of his cock with a loud pop, he immediately sat up and pulled you in for a deep kiss. His tongue still tasted like you in your mouth.
“Beg, baby,” you scratched right under his chin. “Beg to fuck me. Beg for me.”
“Let me make it up to you,” he brushed your hair away from your face. “Let me show you why I’m your other half. Why we belong together. Please.”
“What if I say no?”
“Please, baby,” Jay pleaded with his lips on your neck again. “Let me fuck you. Let me fuck you deep. Let me fly us both. Let me drive both of us crazy right here right now. You know I can.”
If Jay’s weakness were your praises, then yours was his relentless begging. You were ready to spread your legs for him four sentences ago, but what fun would it be if he didn’t turn into an utterly desperate lover so eager to please? You placed your hands around his neck and harshly pulled him down with you, signaling him you were ready. You must have fucked each other maybe hundreds of times, but every time you felt him press against your entrance, all hard and throbbing, it still felt like the very first time.
“Oh fuck, you still feel like heaven inside,” Jay took deep breaths as he carefully settled inside you. “You still fit around me so snugly.”
Oh, how you missed this feeling… Feel this full with him inside you… No matter how much he stretched you, no matter how wet you were for him, it never mattered. The second he started moving, you were so overwhelmed by the intense pleasure that your eyes were rolling back as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan.
“You still react the same to me,” he chewed on his lips and picked up his pace just a measure. “Does it still feel as good, baby? Do you like the pressure?”
You slammed your hands on his hips and groped him as hard as you could, hoping it would translate into something along the lines of “FUCK YES PASS THROUGH ME!”
“God, it… it feels… m–much better than… than I reme— Oh, Jay…”
“Wrap your legs around me. Let me go deeper.”
When you did as he said, Jay was able to angle himself properly to reach a critical spot inside you. Too critical. K.O. material. Could cause a severe short circuit in your brain at any moment.
“Fuck, that’s deep!”
“I know how my girl likes it. I know all your hotspots,” he devilishly smiled. “I know how exactly you like to cum like the back of my hand.”
“Getting cocky there a bit?”
“Tell me if this rings a bell,” he continued to fuck you deep but now with slower thrusts. “Folds teased until you’re rabid. Pussy fingered and clit sucked until it’s numb in my mouth. Breasts fondled. Thighs kissed. Legs massaged with my cum as your aromatherapy oils.”
You involuntarily groaned at how fucking brazen he was being with you, reciting all your guilty pleasures right at your face. He grabbed both of your hands and pinned them right above your head.
“Then it’s my turn, and I fucking drill you into this mattress like my personal pornstar, and you take it like the good girl you are. Sound familiar?” he started moving with sharper, more precise thrusts. “Do you deny any of this? Do you deny that I know how to fuck you just right?”
“Jay, please!”
“I’m made for you, baby. Don’t you ever forget it,” he unleashed himself on your lips like a starving predator.
All that filled that dark room for a while was nothing but the soundtrack of your insatiable hunger for each other. Both your muffled moans melting into each other, obscene sounds of skin against skin, lewd squelches coming from your sopping wet cunt…
“Listen to you. Fucking dripping,” he sharply hissed. “Go ahead baby, you can soak me more. Don’t be shy.”
“Fucking— Just— Fuck, you’re— How d— oh my GOD!”
“Aww, I know baby, I know,” he placed an unnecessarily chaste kiss on your forehead. “Getting fucked by your man so good you can’t even talk properly. Am I doing that good of a job pleasuring you?”
“You’re doing perfect, baby.”
“Am I still your good boy, Sunny?”
“Keep talking like that, and I’m gonna fucking bite you!”
“I dare you,” he breathily spoke, more like a threat than a challenge. “Kiss me. Then bite me. As hard as you can.”
You could try to wriggle away all you wanted, but Jay’s grip on you was like a deadbolt. You weren’t able to move an inch. He slowed way down and watched the way he disappeared into you while biting his lips so hard they were about to bleed.
“See? See how it slides right in? I turn you on so bad you can’t help getting wetter,” he shoved a couple of fingers inside your mouth to suck on. “Night after night, I dreamed of this. You. Getting so fucking wet around me that I have no choice but to cum.”
You weren’t able to talk anymore, but what you really wanted to do didn’t require any words anyway. You swirled your tongue around his fingers and looked at him so desperately that there was no way he wasn’t going to react to this.
“Don’t look at me like that with those begging eyes, or I swear to god I’ll breed the shit out of you,” he landed a light smack on your thigh and took his fingers out. “And you best believe it’s going to hold. Your walls are so swollen already.”
“All talk, no play. You’d fucking better finish inside,” you rattled him. “My pussy’s too pretty not to be eaten or creampied, and that’s a fact.”
“Yes, it is. It fucking is. It deserves to be creampied first and then eaten.” He threw his head back in absolute ecstasy, maniacally laughing to himself like he was losing his mind. “And you already know I swallow.”
He channeled all his focus on your annihilate button, the spot inside you that made you see the stars. The curvature of his cock was angled just right to end you, and if he pressed with just the right pressure…
“Now let me hit that exactly the way you like it.”
He buried himself into you to the hilt with one sharp thrust. Once he bottomed out, he pushed a little more forward and started hitting that spot hard in a staccato rhythm like a pulse, never once pulling back.
“Oh, FUCK YOU!”
“Right there, isn’t it? You love getting this spot fucked,” he was more than satisfied watching what he was able to do to you. “God, you’re literally ascending, baby.”
Only at that moment did Jay realize one of the closet doors to the left side of him was plated with a mirror. Once he caught a glimpse of the two of you in the frame, he throbbed really hard inside you.
“Oh, jesus fucking christ…” he turned your attention to the same destination. “Nobody can ever do it like us, baby. Look how fucking hot we are.”
Jay being his otherworldly sexy self, fucking the life out of you like there was no tomorrow was already enough to blow your mind, but when you actually saw yourself getting fucked…
The amount oozing between your legs suddenly reached an embarrassing amount.
“Soaking the sheets, huh?” he contently chuckled at the trail you were leaving under you. “Time for my girl to give it to me good, then.”
He swiped his thumb on his tongue and started going to work on your clit. While you thought the level of eroticism itself was going to end you, it suddenly became…
Something else.
“I belong right here. Don’t ever leave me without you,” he started going harder. “I’m begging you. Please.”
You held him by his waist and pulled him in for a kiss with your arms around his neck. You were both overwhelmed by your emotions, unable to think straight. It was never just lust with Jay. Every time you fucked, it felt like a reaffirmation, a renewal of promises between you. You had badly broken and bruised each other once upon a time, but at the end of the day…
“It’s you,” you whispered into his mouth breathlessly. “It’s always been you. You own my heart, Jay.”
If you kept talking, the leash of his tears was for sure going to slip from his hands. He suddenly stopped and rested his back against the headboard, promptly making you straddle him to pick up where he left off.
“I’ve always loved you. Always. And I always will,” he rolled his hips into you. “Tell me you love me, baby.”
“Even after all this time,” you moved away the locks of his hair covering his eyes. “I still love you. I love you to the moon and back.”
To the moon and back.
To the moon.
Your Moony.
Jay finally lost all control and started fucking into you so fervently that it was impossible for you to endure that pressure.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“Again, baby.”
“I love you, Jay.”
“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum!”
He gently pushed your chest back to make room for his thumb and started rubbing you frantically. The second you contracted hard around him with that high-pitched moan, Jay let go and came really fucking hard as if he was having a spasm. He came so much, and it was so wet between your legs that you didn’t know which of those drops belonged to you and which ones belonged to him.
“Don’t pull out,” you grabbed him by his nape and pulled him closer. “Deeper. Fuck your cum deeper into me.”
“You’re driving me clinically insane,” he bit into your lips, then promptly kissed them along with your cheeks and your forehead. “Just like we always wanted, huh? The best of both worlds.”
You rode out your high in that utter state of bliss and collapsed on top of him, but even in his fucked out state, Jay clung to you like a koala bear. He kissed your shoulders and your neck, wrapped his arms around your waist, and pulled you into his embrace.
“I did miss you so much,” you started playing with his hair once you both calmed down. “But there are some realities we need to talk about.”
“You mean Nari.”
“Yes,” you averted your eyes from him. “I can’t just appear in her life just to disappear again, Jay.”
“But who says you need t—?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” you interrupted him. “I don’t even know if she would like me.”
“Well, considering she’s growing up with the fairytales I tell her about Sunny the Princess, I think she wouldn’t mind seeing her in the flesh, but I digress.”
“You what?!”
As he let out that on-brand, deafeningly loud cackle at your reaction and kissed your lips, you were thinking just how much you had missed even having your ears ring like that.
“I know the situation is not what we thought it would be, but Nari could be our child. We can give her a baby brother, too,” he pressed your hands on his chest. “I’m ready for this. If you’re also willing, just say the word, and we can have our happily ever after.”
A happily ever after. With Jay. Maybe the means of getting there didn’t really matter after all as long as you got to have it, but it wasn’t a decision about two people’s lives anymore.
“This seems too big of a decision to make overnight.”
“Then tell you what, how about we ease into it?” he propped up on his left elbow. “I take you out on a few dates, we fuck on the third date, and if you see a promise by then, you meet her by the tenth date. How does that sound?”
“Damn, tenth?!” you widened your eyes in shock as if he just insulted your entire ancestry. “I have to wait that long?”
“She’s hard to get. You can’t just appear in her life just to disappear again.”
You landed a well-deserved smack on his arm, but the picture he painted for you was more than fair.
“That sounds lovely.”
You kissed him to your heart’s content to avenge all that time you spent apart. With his eyes closed, Jay’s hands never left your skin as if to make sure that you were indeed real and right next to him, and this wasn’t one of those dreams again.
“I love you, Sunny,” he glided his fingers down your cheek. “You complete me.”
“Even after all this time?”
He flashed a smile so endearing you almost melted into a puddle right then and there.
“Further than forever.”
He wanted to punctuate that moment with a kiss at the expense of getting your lips painfully swollen, but the deeper he kissed you, the more something was awakening in him again. Before you knew it, his hands were slithering down your back and groping your hips.
“Already?” you looked at him all surprised.
“You have no idea about the drought I was in for years, so yes, already,” he pulled you under him and trapped you under his frame. “If you fall asleep, I am fucking you awake tonight, just FYI.”
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ sunghoon x 𝒇 ! reader x sunoo.
your boyfriends caught you playing with yourself :( what shall you do... oh no! will you... a) play with yourself b) stop or c) let them punish you!
MDNI dom sunghoon dom sunoo sub reader p in v anal pillow humping pet play nicknames like 'pup' dirty talk creampie getting caught in the act established poly relationship y/n lowk a needy bih 1989
okay. this fic is gonna be really bad... imo.... bc im half alseep and wiritng this just because of the pics </3 wanted 2 add knifre play but my brain is actually deep friend :(
you didn't think they would've caught you. they were out the whole day, for their schedules — singing, rehearsing for their next comeback, practising english.
never would you have thought your boyfriend's would've come back to you, panties hanging off one thigh, wearing sunghoon's large shirt while humping sunoo's pillow with an aggression never seen before.
your mind was blank white, hips stuttering and clit twitching against the rough fabric. you could barely even hear the door of the dorm open up, your name being called out by the sweet, calming sound of sunoo.
your own heartbeat filled your ears. the pillowcase was now damp, the scent of sunoo's fabric softener mixed with sunghoon's musky scent against his shirt pushed you closer to orgasm. you were so, so close, the pressure just right.
your mind fogged with every single fantasy you could think of, sunghoon's hands in your mouth as sunoo ate you out, sunoo fucking your ass as sunghoon fucked your pussy, your clit turning into mush because of their fingers and mouths, them tying you up—
"y/n?"
your eyes widened, hips stilled in an instant, a whining moan escaping your lips at the loss of friction.
sunoo.
your entire body had seized up, the delicious coil in your gun suddenly laced with a frozen dread as you turned your head.
there, in the doorway of the dorm, stood not just sunoo, but sunghoon behind him. sunoo's eyes were wide, his usual cheerful face now darkened with arousal, his lips glistening and plump, as if he had just licked them multiple times. and sunghoon's… his gaze over sunghoon's head was like a harsh lazer, tracking from your face, down the length of his oversized shirt that swallowed your frame, to your thighs, the one branded with your pretty panties, before the pillow that was clutched between your legs and the damp spot.
the silence was deafening, the sound sucked out of the room, only thing you could smell was your arousal and slicked pillow.
sunghoon's eye arched up, his voice, when it came, was dangerously quiet. "my… shirt?" he laughed, as if it was the most casual thing ever.
sunoo had seemed to snap out of his amusment, a smirk on his lips as he slowly leaned on the doorframe. "and… my pillow?" he tutted.
you couldn't move, or speak. your mind, which had been blank white with pleasure moments ago, now black white with sheer horror. the aggression of just seconds had vanished instantly, replaced by a tremble. you got caught.
sunghoon finally took a step into the room, eyes glimmering with an unreadable emotion. "and here we were so worried when you didn't answer your phone, baby," he said, voice decepively smooth. "and look what we came back too? a pathetic mutt humping herself on a pillow."
sunoo let out another loud, dissapproving hum as he stepped into the room, locking the door behind him.
sunghoon took long strides into the room, crouching down until his face level matched yours, eyebrows knitted and eyes a glimmer of something worse than anger: possessive disappointment.
"no words?" he cooed, tilting his head back. his fingers came out, not to slap you, but to trace the heat between your legs, collecting the slick that fell onto the pillow. "you were so… horny. so desperate. and for what? a piece of fabric?"
sunoo had joined you, the mattress dipping as he sat down behind you, lips curling into a mix of disgust and desire on his lips. "we left you alone for a few hours," he hummed into your ear, voice still honey like. "we trusted you, not to touch yourself, not to get off like a fucking dumb puppy you are. but now look at you, agains my pillow, in hoon's shirt?"
sunghoon's fingers, coated in your own slick, came up to hover between your face. he examined them, the glisten in the soft light, expression unreadable. "see this?" he whispered, voice a low vibration that went straight to your core. "this is ours, every part of you. it's ours."
sunoo's hand slowly slid beneath the hem of the shirt, sunghoon's shirt, splaying across your stomach. his touch almost possessive. "you don't get to decide when you feel like this," he murmured, "you don't get to use his scent, my space, to get yourself off. you were just being greedy. taking what isn't yours."
sunghoon finally brought the fingers slicked up with your arousal to his own lips, eyes dark and locked onto yours as he tasted your sweet desperation. a shudder hand ran through you, part shame, part arousal.
"and a simple piece of fabric," sunghoon repeated, leaning in so close you could feel his breath. "you thought his pillow could replace us? that smell of cotton could give you what you wanted?"
sunoo's other hand came up to your throat, not squeezing, but holding it with a harsh grip, one that'd leave a mark for the next day. "you need to be reminded," he hummed, final sweetness in his tone dissappearing. "you need to be show the difference between a substitue and the real thing."
without any thought, the both of them had snapped off their trousers in a second, sunghoon already positioning his large cock against your hole, pushing in his mushroom tip into that small hole. you could feel the way his cock stretched out your hole, just enough for the pain to tear through your throat.
sunoo, on the other hand, had reached towards the bedside table, dipping to grab the cherry flavoured lube, squirting a generous amount down your backside, letting it drip against your puckering hole, and on his fingers.
"this might sting, pup." he growled into your ears as his middle finger slowly wriggled and pushed into your ass. the feeling made your eyes shoot wide open, a choked cry ripping from your thoat, caught between the stretching fullness of sunghoon pushing relentlessly into your cunt, and the cold, slick burn of sunoo's finger trying to open you up from behind.
sunghoon's groan was deep as his hips flushed against your hipbone as his tip had just breached the tight walls of your cervix, pausing not for your comfort, but to savour the tightness, your gummy walls convulsing around him. "fuck, this," he groaned, tilting his head back. "this is what you really needed, not sunoo's pillow, not my shirt. but us."
he didn't move, rather he held himself there, a throbbing ache forcing your body to accomadate every impossible inch he was giving you. as if he was waiting for sunoo to enter you as well, you know what they say, teamwork makes the dream work.
from behind, sunoo's hum turned dark as his finger worked deeper, the cherry lube a sickly sweet scent as it mixed with the musk of sex. "so tight back here," he laughed, voice deeper, a contrast from its usual honey. his lips had found the shell of your ear again, nibbling softly, as his index finger had joined his middle finger, opening up your asshole with a scissoring motion. "all locked up in this room. were you saving this for us, too? or were you just too busy being a desperate mutt against my pillow to remember you had other holes for us."
your back arched away from sunoo as you felt the sting, the stretch painful and making you wail outloud. your mind jumbling once again, sensory overloading on that agony, yet it was still that very crazing you wanted and was being punished for. you were pinned between being split open by them, a toy for them, or being used as a doll for them.
sunghoon had finally moved, a slow, devestating drag out before plunging back in, setting a pace that lacked any rhythm and was more animalistic than anything. "you feel that, puppy?" he breathed, forehead dropping to your shoulder. "feel how you take us, this is what you were made for. to be filled, by us."
you heard the sound of sunoo's tip slapping against his stomach, before shlicks had filled your ears. head tilting back and puckering at sunoo's own lips, earning a laugh from him. "so needy, arent you?" he mocked, landing a small peck onto your drool covered lips, before sliding the girth of his cock into you.
you let out a painstaking scream, one that could even be used in a horror movie if really wanted to. the stretch was almost insane, you were being split away into two. "taking us so well, maybe we should leave you alone more often. maybe next time with a vibrator strapped to your clit, how would you like that?"
and those words made you clench. sunghoon let out a groan of pure agony and pleasure. "fuck," he gritted out, hips stuttering, held in place by your sudden clench. "so responsive. even if your punishment turns you on, doesn' it?"
sunoo let out a low strained chuckle from behind you, his own rhythm of his hips broken as he thrusted in and out of your tight ass. "see? a filthy dog who had learned a bad trick. you tightened up like you were trying to keep us inside forever. that what you want? to be stuffed full, used up, left dripping?"
he shifted, angle changing just enough to make you gasp, the overwhelming sensation and stretch from the two men borderline too much. as sunoo had waited for your response, he'd gotten impatient. a large hand landing straight down on your cheek, a red blooming mark appearing.
"answer him," sunoo demanded, voice losing its last edges of any sort of sweetness, just one full of pure horniness. "do you want to be our used-up little thing? or desperate, greedy, puppy?"
sunghoon pulled back, just an inch, enough to look at your ruined state. how your thighs were spread apart by yourself, how sunoo was forcing you to bounce on his lap, how there was a small belly bulge where sunghoon sat. it was everything. "use your words, tell us what you are. tell us what you did."
the stretch, fullness, pressure from both sides and their degrading words had coiled inside of your stomach, tears rolling down your cheeks, leaving soft marks against the foundation. they wouldn't move, wouldn't give you time to tell them what you were.
"come on, baby. dont you want to be a good girl, just for us?" sunoo laughed, rubbing circles against your cunt as he continued to thrust up.
"f—fuck! i— i'm your puppy, your— toy… only something you guys can me for! i touched myself without telling you both." you whimpered out as much as you could've. your mind fogged and tummy tightening at the feeling of an orgasm.
"good girl, so good." both of them coo'd, whispering praises as they continued to bounce you on their laps, your mouth hung open as you clutched onto sunoo's bicep and sunghoon's shoulder. "pleasepleaseplease—" you gasp out, words as a last warning as your back arched up, eyes closing and a squeming was fell all over their abdomens.
only after you clench, they had let three more thrusts pass through your over sensitive pussy and ass, sunghoon shooting the hot nut right against your cervix, as sunoo had just let free, cumming in you as soon as he could, wanting to get rid of his boner.
you could only moan, cry and sob. your whole body fully twitching as your stomach slowly grew due to exessive cum inside of you. only to slowly pull out, your ass gaping slightly, clenching around nothing, begging to be filled as cum oozed down your thigh and on the bed, making sunoo let out an awe.
soon, sunghoon followed after, cock still hard as ever as he reached for his phone, taking photos of the beautiful site. because, oh no. this wasn't over.
it never is over.
｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡ @hoonsocks @gyuzies @ewstain @haruawya @strawberrykkk1 @nanilis @renwon @yvampyr n anyone else on that tag list….
summary. the world thinks that you're a beta. you and your best friend, nishimura riki, think same thing too—until you're proven wrong. until instincts and scents take over and everything changes overnight.
warnings. MDNI, reader is a late-presenting omega, mutual pining, oblivious pairing, jealous and possessive riki, unprotected sex (DON’T!! even think about it), marking, knotting, p in v, dirty talk, dom!riki, idk it’s my first time writing smut, alpha!jay, alpha!jungwon, alpha!heeseung, fingering, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, reader is suuuper horny, poor jay, i tag as i go, not beta read we die like injang, i don’t think this abo is as accurate as the norm but we ball, angst if you squint
word count. 14,896 words
note. stepping out of my comfort zone with this one, my first time writing a oneshot. i hope you love it (hiding in a cave as we speak). mostly inspired by abo fics i read on ao3. don’t forget to stream the sin: vanish! 🩷
You have been to the gym more times than the library.
Not because you’re particularly athletic. No, God knows you’d rather nap. But it’s rather because of a certain six-foot Japanese guy named Nishimura Riki, who’s obsessed with having you watch him stretch before his basketball practice. Says it helps him focus better. Says you bring him luck to his games. Whatever it is, you are happy to indulge with his requests, if it means you get to have your free Baskin Robbins after his gym sessions.
And now, as the two of you walk down the pavement, hands brushing with each step, you’re brought back to three years ago—when Riki was still a head shorter, when his voice still had the childlike lilt to it, when he hadn’t gained all the mass and muscles he has now. The only thing that remains constant is this: his routine of dragging you to his stretching and practice sessions.
It still brings a smile to your face whenever you recall that moment, and Riki never fails to notice every time.
“You have that motherly sentimental smile on your face again,” he points out, eyeing you down like you were dirt on the ground, and you might as well be for how tall he is. “Whatchu thinking ‘bout?”
You roll your eyes. “Good old times, Ki. When you were less annoying and less tall.”
Riki snorts. “I’m always annoying. And taller than you.”
“Fuckass alpha genetics,” you grumble under your breath, the sharp end of your elbow meeting his ribs in a playful nudge. Riki lets out a loud hiss, draping his arm around your shoulders in a harsh tug.
“What’s got your panties twisted, my favourite girl?”
“I don’t know, maybe the fact that I could’ve slept in instead of going to your alpha gym.”
“You love me too much to refuse me.”
You feel the air leave your lungs. That statement shouldn’t make your stomach twist like this, like you’re caught doing something you’re forbidden to. But if liking your childhood friend—your annoying, tall, and too-hot-for-his-own-good friend—is considered illegal, then by all means you’d rather serve your time in jail than admit it to him.
So you scoff, feigning annoyance as you shove his limbs off your body. Swinging your legs faster, you mutter something enough for his ears to hear, hiding the redness that blooms across your cheeks. “You know I only love your mom.”
“Yeah, but only for her sushi, though!” Riki retorts, chasing after your steps and catching up with you after a maximum of three long strides. Curse his long legs. “I know you’d marry into my family for her sushi.”
“I don’t plan on being a homewrecker. Konon is taken, and Misora is like my little sister.”
“Well, there is me.” There he goes again, making your heart stutter in your ribs, taking your breath away with words that might be simple to him but bring an entirely different meaning to you and your poor feelings. You bite your lip, refusing to answer. Riki takes it as a challenge.
“I’m the real deal, y’know?” Riki wiggles his eyebrows, hogging up your space like a fly, gauging your reaction with that smirk you know all too well. And fuck him for saying the truth. You really wish you could slap that shit-eating grin off his handsome face.
“What, for being an alpha?”
“Especially for being an alpha,” he replies, a cocky smirk adorning his plump lips, to which you just roll your eyes.
He isn’t wrong, and that’s what you hate the most. Alphas are sought after; as a leader, as an heir, as a symbol of dominance and power. They’re at an advantage with everything, including their physique. You have never seen a short alpha; at least none is shorter than you are. Alphas dominate sports, finance and business, politics, education, and even medicines.
It’s hard to argue with Riki’s point of him being the real deal, when the very system you live in is the truth and proof to his claim.
People always want an alpha, and that fact will stay forever so long this system still exists. And it’s a bitter pill to swallow because you also belong to that category—not exactly because you need an alpha, but because a certain first love of yours is, unfortunately, an alpha.
Unfortunate, because alphas only want omegas as their mates.
Not betas. Not you.
And Nishimura Riki is not an exception to that equation.
You are so lost in your own thoughts that you almost missed the entrance to the gym, if not for Riki tugging your sleeve to bring you back to earth. You blink, look at the sign, and sigh.
“Tell me why I’m here again.”
Riki’s face lights up with a grin, dragging you to the entrance. “Because you’re my emotional support,” he jokes again, earning a glare from you.
His voice rumbles in a deep timbre when he chuckles, his other hand pushing the door open and instantly, the familiar chime of the bell greets you with a cold breeze from the built-in air-conditioners.
Riki turns to you again, ruffling your hair affectionately, the same way he did when the both of you were eighteen; the same way he did when he was thirteen, begging you to wish him luck on his basketball match; the same way he did when you were eight, after you scraped your knees in the playground from a foul play.
“And because you’re a beta, you’re not affected by our pheromones.”
It’s a harmless reminder of your subgender, but it stings nonetheless. You give the receptionist a tight smile, hoping it doesn’t show the resentment you feel towards the flawed system, hoping the cracks from your own heart didn’t make its way into the lines of your mouth.
At first, you thought you were an anomaly to the system.
The doubt was inevitable when Riki presented at the ripe age of eighteen, and pretty much so did everybody else. You remember how lonely the classes were when Riki had to take two weeks off, and then the girl who sat in front of you did the same, and then the class president did so too, until there were only seven of you remaining in the class.
The appropriate age range to present is from sixteen to nineteen years old, but the most common one is definitely eighteen. So you told yourself to be patient and wait for your turn; that it might be you next day.
Then you hoped it’d be you next month.
Then you prayed it’d be you next year.
Then you wished the system never existed at all .
Because after three years, with you now turning twenty-one, the presentation never came. You told yourself it’s fine, it doesn’t exclude you from society because it just simply means that you’re a beta, right? Beta belongs to the subgenders too. But it’s hard to ignore the nagging voice of insecurity somewhere in your mind that keeps telling you how wrong everything is. It’s hard to ignore the changes when the changes happened so fast and so blatantly obvious—like the way Riki’s voice turned deeper, the way he grew into everything that an alpha is meant to be.
While you remained the same.
The poison seals its roots when you’re reminded of your family genetics—where every female of your bloodline was born an omega, someone who’s meant to be with an alpha, someone with a sweet and supposedly-alluring scent that you never get a whiff of. You feel like a tossed-aside rug, a forgotten scene from a movie. Hell, you even feel like an unknown city that keeps getting skipped in every world tour of your favourite boyband.
Excluded, out of place, and awkward. Like a piece of puzzle that doesn’t belong. Like a wrong digit in an equation, where the existence of you brings a decimal-answer when people are looking for a whole number.
So with a reluctant resignation, one that you wished would never come, you accept your fate that you’re not an anomaly—you’re just normal. You’re just a beta.
You’re just…not meant to be with Riki.
Perhaps you can try finding a beta that could fill the spot that Riki has. Jake Sim from chemical engineering is also a beta, and he is every bit a gorgeous man. But every time you attempt to look for someone else, someone who’s not over six feet tall, someone who’s not Japanese with features you memorise by heart—you feel your stomach sink with the urge to cry and throw up.
You want Riki. You only yearn for Riki, and it tears you apart that he is everything you want but can’t have.
It’s only morning, and you are already tormenting yourself with the thoughts of your unrequited love, your secret crush, your Nishimura Riki, Riki, Riki. You slump on the desk with a sigh, the lecturer’s high-pitched voice now a faraway island in your mind, earning a low chuckle from Jungwon, another alpha that you befriended on your first day here.
“You okay, Y/N?”
You muffle a small ‘yeah’ and lift your head to face him, the action making you dizzy. You frown. “Just…a bit hungry. I skipped breakfast.”
Jungwon leans closer, lunch invitation heavy on his tongue, but stops mid-way. His nose scrunches, sniffing the air around you like a bunny.
“Uh, did you wear a new perfume?”
“What?” Sitting straight, you mimic his action and start smelling your clothes. “I don’t?”
Jungwon shifts in his seat, taking another whiff from the space around your neck before leaning back, a glint of amusement and curiosity dancing in his eyes.
“Well, you smell different. In a good way.”
“That’s because I wear Chanel number 5, duh,” you say matter-of-factly, rolling your eyes to emphasise. Jungwon shakes his head.
“It’s not Chanel,” he moves closer again, and this time you actually retreat back from the sudden proximity. “You smell faintly like caramel. Like freshly baked cookies.”
“Okay, now you’re being creepy. I don’t smell like a bakery.”
Jungwon looks skeptical, watching you with that cat eyes of his, appearing contemplative and deep in thought before he shrugs and finally gives you some space. You breathe out in relief.
“Mhm. It’s about time you had a scent. Though yours is way too sweet for a beta.”
Your body seizes before your mind can catch up, every bone locking in place as you register his words. When you speak, your voice sounds foreign, even to you.
“I’m supposed to…have a scent?”
Jungwon tilts his head, not expecting that question from you. “Yeah? Everyone with a subgender should have one and can smell one. Can’t you smell me?”
No. The word is trapped behind your teeths, afraid to go out in fear of solidifying the truth that you were what you initially thought: an anomaly. Gulping down your nerves, you pretend to focus back on the lessons, though your lecturer’s voice is already drowned out by the loud thumping behind your ribs.
Jungwon doesn’t buy it, though. That alpha is eyeing you, trying to catch even a tiny telltale of your true emotions.
You settle for a lie. “‘Course I can. You smell disgusting.”
That gets him to react. “Hey! I smell second best to Riki’s pheromones, for your information.” Jungwon gasps, scandalised, and kicks your legs under the table. You suck in a breath, your mind zeroing on the small fragment of his statement: Riki’s pheromones.
You leave the hall an hour later with your brain a whirlwind of panic and unanswered questions, of how much you regret not paying attention to any of your omegaverse classes, of how different you are—again—from the rest of the world, but now with a painful addition that you are also different from a normal beta, and of how Nishimura Riki is allegedly the best-smelling alpha of the century.
The last thought is the loudest, if it’s not already obvious. But your insecurity seems relentless this time, because every time your brain wanders to how good Riki might smell like, it brings you back to the cold, harsh reality of your dysfunctioning senses. And that’s enough to push you off the edge.
The one-hour lecture was spent with you letting the weight of Jungwon’s words pressing into your mind. The concept of scent and subgenders aren’t foreign; not to everybody else but you. You know that alphas and omegas have a certain smell that tells each other apart. But you never knew that betas have one too.
Or they actually do. And it’s you who have none.
Fuck, why did you only sleep in those omegaverse classes in high school?
The distant voice of your omegaverse teacher nags at the back of your mind as you round the corner towards the library, forcing yourself to commit to another group discussion before you can retire and hide in your room after, but are blessed—or cursed—to see Riki instead. Your breath hitches, your steps halt.
The tall man is leaning against the wall with a laidback posture, one hand in the pocket of his sweats, scrolling his phone with a neutral boredom. Then, as if sensing your presence, he lifts his gaze, and lights up.
Fuck him, honestly, in every literal and figurative way possible.
He always lights up every time he sees you, and you hate how much meaning it gives you. Like you’re the only sun in his dark universe; like you’re the only water in the middle of the desert when it probably means nothing to him.
“Y/N, c’mere!”
You force a relaxed posture and a small smile as you walk towards him. And then, without warning, Jungwon’s earlier words invade your mind again, and now your whole focus narrows down to the thoughts of the pheromones of the alpha standing in front of you, and the cruelty of your anatomy to decide that you don’t deserve to smell him.
Riki frowns when you get closer, noticing your slightly pale complexion. One of his arms hover, ready to pull you closer like usual. “You good? Did you see a ghost?”
And this time, you let him tug you, pulling you in like a strong whirlpool in the ocean and you are nothing more than a helpless boat, and you almost swore that you heard Riki sniff you. At the chance of standing in such close proximity with him, you dare yourself to nose the collar of his hoodie, inhaling his scent, dreading the nothingness that might come from it.
You hum, surprising even yourself when you can actually smell him. Clean musk, cedar, and sandalwood. He smells homey. But why couldn’t you smell this before?
“You smell good. Is this your perfume?”
Riki laughs, though there is an edge to it .”What are you doing?”
Ignoring his question, you take a step closer, nosing at the fabric with newfound determination, unaware of the now-rigid posture of your best friend. Riki pushes your shoulders when you shift closer, holding you an arm’s length away from him in a swift motion. You blink, taken aback from the sudden shove, and scrunches your nose when you sense a spike in his scent.
You frown—your senses were never this sensitive.
Riki lets out a small chuckle after a moment of silence—and you can’t help but hear the faint tremble in it—then ruffles your hair.
“That’s my pheromones, idiot, you know I don’t like wearing cologne. Did you just notice it now?”
Ah. His pheromones.
So you can finally smell him.
You pause for a heartbeat before smiling. So I’m a normal beta, you think, feeling the relief washes over you, I can smell other people’s scents too. It might be a bit too late to notice these changes, but you’ll take anything that doesn’t label you as the exception to the system. Anything to fit in, anything that doesn’t point you towards the other end of society alone.
“With all that sweat you reek of? Yeah, I just noticed it now.” You retort, throwing him a teasing smile, stepping closer again to nudge his ribs like you always do.
This time, the sharp inhale that Riki takes is unmistakable. He takes a hold of your wrist and brings it to his nose, sniffing at it like another bunny that reminds you so much of Jungwon just an hour ago.
“You smell…different,” Riki takes another whiff, “did you get too close to an omega?”
Your eyebrows knit. “No, that’s my scent.”
Riki’s expression mirrors yours. “But you never had a scent before.”
“I know, Jungwon also said it’s about time that I had a scent.”
“Jungwon?” Riki echoes, his voice clipped. “You let Jungwon scent you?”
You blink, mouth opening and closing at the sound of his sudden grim voice. “I—No? He didn’t scent me,” you don’t know where this feeling comes from, but the thought of Riki thinking that you were with another man, of upsetting him, makes your stomach drop. “He just sat too close just now. And he smelled me.”
You wince at how wrong it sounded.
Nothing else is spoken between the two of you, save for the distant chatter of passersby and the occasional sound of the library door opening and closing, letting people in and sending them out. You crane your neck to your silent best friend, his clenched jaw catching the hallway lights as he gathers his thoughts.
You’re about to say something to break the silence, but another deep voice calls out to Riki. You peek at his shoulders and see two of his basketball teammates—Heeseung and Jay—calling at him from behind. They wave when they notice your presence, and you wave back once before Riki moves to block your sight.
“I have practice until late. Don’t wait for me,” he mutters, voice barely above a whisper. His eyes are heavy with something unsaid, giving you a gaze that sends shivers down your spine, slightly concealed by the fringes of his dark hair. You nod wordlessly, squeeze his arms goodbye, and watch him jog up to his friends, your mind a mess of everything that has just unfolded.
The day follows you home and into the evening shower, and the thoughts of your newly-discovered developed senses, of Riki, only stops when you put on your pajamas. Your favourite Kuromi set of wool pajamas, the one Riki bought from his last visit to Japan, suddenly sits wrongly on your skin.
It’s itchy and very uncomfortable, which is not what you felt when you wore it last week.
“What the fuck,” you curse, discarding the clothes in an instant. Standing half naked in your own bedroom, you inspect the fabric like a microscope to a cell sample. The fabric feels strange to your touch; it prickles like tiny needles that poke at your skin in an unsettling way. You drop the pajamas on your bed and start looking for another set to wear.
To your frustration, every piece of clothing that you touch doesn’t feel right. Too rough. Too itchy. Too irritating. It only stops when you find your long-forgotten satin nightwear—the one you shoved to the darkest corner of your wardrobe because of how tight it had become. You exhale, the exhaustion from the day pressing on your bones like a wet blanket, slipping on the only fabric that doesn’t feel like sandpaper on skin despite how tight it hugs your body despite yourself.
That night, you drift off to sleep and dream of a certain alpha with the most alluring pheromones, whispering secrets and oaths in messy sheets and slicked, tangled limbs.
The next morning, you wake up with a pulsing pain in your hips and lower abdomen. A groan escapes your lips as you search for your phone, checking the menstrual tracker with your eyes half-open. You are still two weeks away from the next cycle, but the pain is, if not more, merciless and unforgiving as ever.
But deadlines and tests chase you even in your sleep, so you brave up and force yourself to campus, all pained limbs and sweaty forehead. The painkillers work nothing to numb the pain, and you don’t want to risk going into the ER to swallow another one. So you endure. Or at least, you try to.
“Good morning, Y/N,” comes Jungwon, sharing yet another class with you. But his voice is loud, too loud for the morning to be good, so you snap at him before you can stop it.
“Can you lower your voice? You’re too loud.”
Jungwon stuns into a silence, gaping at you with his mouth hanging open before a flash of annoyances crosses his face. “Dude, I talk normally? What’s so loud about me?”
“You’re being loud now.”
Jungwon throws his hands in the air and plops down with a huff, pursing his lips in protest and refusing to speak to you for the rest of the lecture in an act of tantrum. You don’t say anything either, too occupied with your own thoughts, too irritated by the sounds of pens gliding across papers, too itched by the blouse you’re wearing, to care. At the first sign of the class ending, you bolt out of the class, leaving behind Jungwon and his unheard complaints about how sensitive and snappy you have been.
Sensitive. You’re sensitive all over your body, your senses suddenly reaching a new level of concentration that makes everything feel unbearable and irritating. You ditch the next class and go home, grab a new set of pads on your way, send a ‘sorry’ text to Riki’s lunch invitation, and sleep the day away in silk and satin. You dream of Riki again, of how safe you feel in his arms, of how much you like it whenever he towers over you with his height. You toss and turn all night, then wake up more tired than before when the first sunlight hits.
Weary and exhausted than ever, you groan as the aching in your body returns, and, perhaps amplifies, like something inside you is shifting. Like someone is renovating your organs and rearranging everything into a new layout, into a new system you’re too afraid to find out.
“Fuck,” you peel off every layer of your clothing and make home in your bath tub, basking in the warmth of the running water. Your muscles finally relax, and for the past two days of your pre-menstrual symptoms, soaking in hot water seems to be the only thing that helps. Only a soak and an odorless soap, though—because recently, your favourite sakura blossom-scented body wash has smelled too acidic for you.
When you’re done, you walk out to your roommate, Wonyoung, sitting on your bed with a stack of clothes neatly placed by her thighs. She looks at you with a scrunched nose, wearing an expression akin to concern. You greet her with a small, tired smile.
“Hey, Y/N. I brought my cotton clothes for you, but are you sure you’re okay?” She stands up and walks closer to you, touching your arms gently. “You don’t look good. And your scent…you’re distressed, Y/N. You need a familiar scent to feel better.”
You give her another dry smile. “I’m okay. Just PMS-ing.”
Wonyoung looks at you like she wants to say something but holds back. She rubs a circle into your arms, and for the first time ever, you can smell her—a soft, gentle scent of jasmine and warm milk, like a milk tea you get from a Chinese store. You sigh and unknowingly lean into the omega’s touch.
“Go to the doctor if it gets worse, Y/N,” Wonyoung urges you with a worry-laced voice. You hum and nod absentmindedly, not registering her words fully until she adds, “I think this is something more than PMS.”
Your stomach churns at her words, feeling the uneasiness crawl its way back into your spine. You wave a dismissive hand at her, attempting to look fine when you’re everything but. “I’ll get better after a nap, I promise.”
Wonyoung purses her lips, then nods. With a few words of comfort, she leaves your room, throwing one last look of worry before the door shuts with a click. You grab one of her cotton pajamas, feeling the smooth fabric with a content sigh and slip it on.
The buzz from your phone cuts your train of thoughts. Your heart leaps at the sight of Riki’s name blaring on the screen, hands scrambling to pick it up on the third ring.
“Y/N?” Riki’s deep timbre greets your ears, and you feel the hair rise in your skin. “Hey, where have you been? Jungwon told me you skipped classes today.”
Gosh, how you missed his voice. Overlapping schedules, his tournament preparations, and your aching body have become the reason for your lack of Nishimura Riki for the past three days. Hearing his voice now tugs something at your heart, like you need to see him now. Like you need to hold him now.
“Y/N?”
“Hey, Ki. I’m fine. Just a bit sore here and there, but it’s all good now,” you lie, because the last thing you want is for Riki to get worried about you and distracted from his practice. He can be a worrywart when he wants to be.
“You sure? Then do you wanna watch my practice now?” he suggests, letting a heartbeat of silence settle between the both of you before he says again, this time with a quieter, almost-shy voice. “I kinda miss your nosy ass.”
That gets a laugh out of you. You, in fact, miss him a lot too. “Glad to know it’s mutual. But what do I get? It’s too cold for me outside.” It’s not even winter yet, but your current condition has been acting like it. You shiver just thinking about stepping out of the comfort of your warm apartment.
“I’ll treat you to some steak after, your highness. And don’t be silly, I have my hoodie with me now.”
Something unknown stirs inside of you at the mention of his hoodie. It’s like something asleep is finally waking up, and your head is dizzy with the thought of his hoodie, his scent, his presence, him, him, him. You hum as a reply, already reaching out to one of Wonyoung’s cotton blouses.
And that reminds you: “It better be cotton, Ki.”
The basketball court doesn’t change from the last time you stepped foot on it, which already feels like years ago with everything that went down between you and your body. Your gaze sweeps over two groups of male players stretching and warming up, looking for a certain dark-haired man. But you stop in your tracks when your nose senses something.
The court smells…weird. You can’t exactly pinpoint what produces that smell, but the source is apparent: it comes from those athletes scattered around the court. You inhale one more time and immediately feel your chest tightens, the urge to turn around and leave suddenly hits you like a truck.
Too lost in your own thoughts, you barely notice the shadow that suddenly looms over your figure until that person speaks.
“Y/N, right?”
You look up and instantly recognise him. Park Jongseong, or Jay, one of Riki’s closest friends from his ‘only-boys’ friend group. You give him a polite nod, noting his still-dry jersey and slightly messy hair.
“Yes, that’s me.”
Jay’s lips curve into a boyish smile at that, and if it’s not for your huge, pathetic crush on Riki, you’d certainly let yourself fall for the handsome boy in front of you. “Riki’s gone to the locker room for a moment to grab something. Why don’t you sit at the bench first? We are about to start the friendly match soon.”
You agree without thinking, drifting further into the court like it’s routine. You’re a familiar face to them—the beta friend of Riki who always sits in the bleachers to watch him stretch and practice. You settle down on the bench at the furthest corner of the court, away from the buzz of alpha players and the smell that is getting pungent by the second, and closer to one of the goal hoops. Jay has gone to leave for a moment, but returns seconds later with a bottle of mineral water, condensed and wet.
“Have a drink first. He should be back soon.”
You receive it with a grateful smile. Riki always mentions how gentleman Jay is, especially towards the ladies. “Thank—”
“Yo, I already got her water.”
Riki strides in your direction, his voice playful but his expression hardens. He shoves Jay to the side, snatches the bottle given by him from your hand, and replaces it with another one. This time, the water bottle is still cold and wet from condensation, but is now wrapped by a few layers of tissues, just the way you like it. “Drink this instead.”
You beam at him. “Thanks, Riki.”
Beside him, Jay scoffs exaggeratedly. “I can’t believe you. Did it look like I was poisoning her?”
Riki doesn’t cast him a glance, his hands fast to untwist the bottle cap for you before you do, and miss the way heat makes its way on your cheeks. “You grabbed the wrong bottle.”
“Dude, they’re literally the same!”
“But did yours have tissues around it?” Riki shoots a brow up, and that makes Jay close his mouth. “Exactly. Now get lost, hyung.”
“Kids these days,” Jay mutters under his breath. He throws you another small smile before walking away with his rejected—or rather, discarded by Riki—mineral water. There is a triumphant smile on the younger’s face before he looks back at you already staring up at him.
Fuck, you probably look lovestruck. But you don’t find it in yourself to care in that moment.
Riki returns your gaze, his eyes trailing across your face before he ruffles your hair playfully. A giggle escapes your lips, trying to smack his hands away but Riki is always stronger than you. And that realisation makes something warm pool inside your belly.
“Is it still cold for you?” he asks, voice lowered and sounding almost intimate. You nod, willing yourself not to grin too wide when he drops his hoodie in your lap. It’s grey, bigger than your frame, and every inch of it smells like him. Like your Riki. “Wear this.”
The tension rolls off your body when you put it on, breathing in a lungful of his clean musk and sandalwood scent discreetly as Riki takes a seat beside you, his thigh brushing yours. For the first time in three days, the unknown force that’s been keeping you on edge quiets down, your chest lightens and your heart hums in contentment.
Safe. You feel safe. Riki has always been your safe space. But this time, you feel like you belong. Protected. You feel like you’ve been carrying the missing piece your whole life, and now it’s finally here.
“Better?” Riki muses from your side, watching you with an unreadable gaze, taking in the sight of your figure practically drowned in his way bigger hoodie. His jaw clenches, fingers twitching slightly before he forces his eyes back on you.
“Yes. Thank God it’s cotton, Ki,” you joke. Riki rolls his eyes.
“You know I only wear cotton.”
“Nishimura Riki!”
From the center of the court, Lee Heeseung, the senior you know to be the team captain, calls for your best friend. He groans, shouting back a ‘coming!’ before glancing back at you.
“Just a few rounds of friendly match then I’m all yours, okay?”
Your heart stutters at that. Then, subtle like it’s meant to be a secret, you notice the way Riki freezes, his nose scrunching slightly at something he senses. When his eyes snap back to you, they’re darker now, heated and heavy with something he won’t say. The short exchange renders you breathless, your voice barely audible when you finally speak.
“Yes. Okay.”
Riki lets his eyes linger on you for a moment before he nods. The warmth of his presence is instantly replaced with silence and coldness when he leaves to begin the match, and your heart deflates at his retreating figure. You grip the bench until knuckle-white, taking a deep breath to soothe your wailing heart, chest suddenly yearning for him to sit back on the bench with you.
“Get a fucking grip, Y/N,” you grit, head dizzy from Riki’s pheromones but your stomach is churning for no apparent reasons. “What the fuck is wrong with you lately?”
You decide to hyperfocus on the match commencing on the court to distract yourself from the confusing yet so consuming feelings that your mind and body have been going through lately. And it works for a while. You almost forgot how attractive Riki looks like when he’s on the court.
As if the universe had chosen him as the new gravity, every fibre of your being is drawn to him and him only. Your eyes follow his figure like a north-end of the magnet to the south, practically documenting his movement like a rolling camera. Riki moves like he dances; smooth and fluid, his reflexes against his opponent are faster than a venus flytrap. His boxy smile graces his features with every goal into the hoops, and you can’t help but let your heart flutter every time his eyes find yours with every point he scores.
You’re in love with Nishimura Riki. Your body knows it, your heart is no old news bearer to this. Heck, you think even your mom and Wonyoung know about this. Everyone does, except the person you love. Except Riki himself.
Loving him is so easy that it scares you sometimes. The hoodie presses on your skin like a symbol of his caring nature and a reminder of his platonic affection altogether.
You let yourself enjoy the match, the squeaking of sneakers against the floor becoming background noises. It’s a steady and peaceful match, or so you thought—until they start shouting.
It’s a friendly match, but an alpha's nature of competitiveness knows no boundaries. Your eyes flick to the scoreboard, the gap between the teams decreasing with each goal.
“Get your shit together, Taesan!” Heeseung barks at someone near the hoop, posture stiff, his booming voice makes your stomach twist. Soon, the air is condensed with adrenaline and rivalry, and before you know it, the palpable tension has already made its way into your head.
Your instincts kick-start at the heavy atmosphere, your nose twitching at the overwhelming pheromones that you sense. You gasp, the pain in your hips and abdomen resurfacing again, and this time you actually feel something shift inside. Your eyes widen in horror.
“Oh my God,” you clutch at the bench in desperation when you feel yourself falling. The floor catches you in a soft thud.
Somewhere in the distance, Heeseung shouts at a mistake the second time, leaving your nerves more restless than before. Your vision blurs, ears ringing with a pitch that is nearly splitting your head open.
The pain, the cramps—they stab deeper, they pulse harder, they scream at you that nothing about this is related to your menstruation. You groan in pain. The pheromones spiking in the air are pressing into your lungs, making every exhale of oxygen a struggle, your head spinning like a planet losing its orbit. Somewhere at the centre of the court, everybody freezes, the ball bouncing away with no one to claim.
Heeseung halts mid-shout. “What the fuck,” he physically recoils at the scent wafting in the air, his nose wrinkling violently, “there’s an omega here?!”
The room holds its breath with him, with you, before heads snap in your direction.
There, on the floor, you’re crouched down, noises of pain leaving your lips in breathless whispers. Your body is dotted with sweat, your temperature rising with each passing second, eyes wide and glassy. Oh God. Oh God. You clutch your stomach with a pained groan. What is happening to me?
It takes an alpha staggering towards you and a growl for all hells to break loose. Shouts come from every direction, Jay having to physically restrain one of their players from jumping on you. And among the chaos, there is one figure who stands still, a statue of anxiety and a pounding heart as his eyes locked on the outline of your body in his hoodie.
Another wail of pain leaves your lips and Riki finally snaps out of his trance. Without thinking, he’s already running towards you, snarling at another player who’s stepping in your direction and shoving him away with no care to the aftermath.
He drops to his knees, angling his body to shield you from the raging alphas behind him. His hands hover, not knowing where to touch or if he should touch you at all.
“Y/N? Y/N, oh my God—what—” Riki chokes on the intense scent oozing from your neck, forcing restrain into his mind and body. His jaw clenches when he sees how pale you are, panic mixing with a strange desire to mark you. To claim you. He shakes his head.
“Riki,” you breathe out, rasp and breathless, shivering from the cold despite your warm body. “It hurts. It hurts…”
Riki’s breath stutters at his name on your lips. It does something violent to his chest, like his ribs are caving in around his heart.
“I know,” he says, voice hoarse, forcing it low despite the way his throat wants to tear itself open. He wraps the hoodie tighter around you, hands finally finding purchase at your arms, your waist—grounding, anchoring. “I’ve got you. You’re okay. You’re okay.”
You’re not. He knows that. He smells it—sharp, sweet, wrong. Too much for this place. Too much for you.
“Everyone back the fuck up,” Riki snarls over his shoulder, teeth clenched as another alpha so much as shifts closer. The sound doesn’t even feel like it comes from him; it’s deeper, rougher, edged with something feral that makes the surrounding players freeze mid-step.
Heeseung recovers first. “Clear the court. Now,” he barks, authority snapping through the haze. “Jay—help me.”
Jay’s already there, shoving bodies away, creating space with his broad frame. “Move. All of you. Unless you wanna get decked.”
Riki barely registers them. His world has narrowed to you—the way you’re trembling, the way your fingers fist weakly into his shirt like you’re afraid he’ll disappear if you let go.
“It hurts,” you whimper again, forehead dropping against his chest. “Riki, it—”
“I know,” he repeats, softer now, forehead pressing briefly to your hair. His hands shake despite himself. “Don’t talk. Just—just breathe with me, okay? Look at me.”
Your unfocused eyes struggle to lift, but when they do and land on him, something in his chest breaks.
That’s it.
Decision made, instincts roaring.
“I’m taking her,” Riki says, already scooping you up carefully, one arm under your knees, the other braced tight around your back. “Someone call an ambulance. Now.”
No one argues.
As he carries you out of the court, ignoring the burning stares and the lingering pheromones that scrape at his skin, one thought pounds through his head, loud and unrelenting:
I should’ve known.
I should’ve protected you.
Riki likes to think that he knows you best.
You have been a constant in his life. Someone less than a companion, more like a feature infused in his system. The vital foundation. Someone that brings out the sides of him that he refuses to show others.
Fifteen years ago, when his family first moved to South Korea, Riki had already expected a dull, boring life. A six-year-old with every knowledge of Japanese but none of Korean, Riki initially thought that his parents were set on making him a loner.
But then came you. Knocking on his door with that small, soft fist of yours, hiding behind your mom’s legs the way he hid behind his mom’s. The both of you shyly looked at each other, listening to your mothers promising friendship and comfort in language that Riki was yet to understand.
Ever since that day, Riki found his life in a foreign country becoming bearable. Bearable, because his next-door neighbour is also his seatmate at school. You have always been the smarter one between the two of you, diligently teaching him how to read, to write, to speak in Korean, with a childlike patience that only someone like you could have.
Bearable, because his next-door neighbour was also a fierce kid, telling other kids off when they made fun of Riki’s accent. You were small, smaller than him, even, but the fire in your eyes when someone spoke badly of him made you seem bigger than the whole sky.
Bearable, because somewhere along the way; between nights of sneaking out and going home scolded, between every basketball match where your voice always sounded the loudest, between every petty fight and shared laughter during study sessions; Riki finally realised the way you have made home in his heart.
The way his eyes find your smile first in every joke. The way he looks for your presence before every game, and every time he scores. The way his heart aches with you when you fall sick, wanting the pain to consume himself instead of you.
Nishimura Riki is in love with you. The world seems to know it—except you.
Riki indulged in it, acknowledged it with his heart and arms open, until the day of his alpha presentation came. It was the first time in his life being away from you, separated from your warmth and presence. He spent restless nights dreaming of you, his instincts flaring at him to run and barge into the house next door.
The same way it does to him now.
Riki likes to think he knows you best, and that includes knowing that you’re a beta—a medical statement that broke his heart when he first found out about it because his mom is so adamant that he mates with an omega.
But now, as he stares at the text sent by your sister, Riki feels like everything he used to know about you dissipates, becoming the very air he inhales that makes his chest feel tighter and limbs heavier. It takes everything in him not to knock on your parents’ house, to force his way in, and cradle you in his arms the way his wolf tells him to.
future sister-in-law
y/n’s presenting as an omega
Two weeks went by in a blur. You drifted in and out of consciousness, your mom and your sister being the only thing you could remember from your fragmented memory. One time you were in the hospital. The next time you opened your eyes, you were back in your childhood room. Your body ached all over; it felt like your bones were shifting into a new spine.
When the daze of anesthetics finally wears off, a new day has already begun.
And you discover the earth-shattering truth with a shudder. It’s not only the day that’s new.
You’re also, apparently, new.
An omega. You’re now an omega.
“A late presentation, though rare, can happen, and your daughter is one of the chosen ones.”
You don’t know how to make of it. You just nod along, thoughts scattered everywhere, nose catching up scents that weren’t there before—or they’ve always been, but your senses only allow you to detect them now. The blooming rose, fresh rain scent of your mom. The citrusy pheromone of the alpha-doctor sitting in front of you. You have come for another check-up, a detailed medical explanation that your doctor has insisted you to listen to when you’re finally stable.
Your chest tightens as the scents sharpen—and you suddenly understand why your family always looked at you like you were missing something.
It settles wrongly on your chest, like a frame hung in a crooked angle. You’ve been wanting this your whole life—to be able to detect scents, to not feel excluded from the women of your family, to have a chance at love with Riki.
It’s not that you hate it. You just don’t know what to do with it yet.
“But that also means that you’re quite fragile for now until your first heat cycle comes,” the doctor speaks again, snapping you out of your thoughts. He gives you a reassuring smile, as if noticing your unfocused self. “And from the test results, it should come in very near time. Perhaps a week or two from now.”
“So soon?” Your mom sits straighter in her seat, leaning closer to peek at whatever medical result on the paper he’s holding. The doctor nods.
“This can only happen to late-presenting omegas. And since her body had developed way past its due age, it can be very dangerous if she spent it alone. She needs an alpha for her first heat cycle.”
That, finally, grabs your attention. Your body stills, the words hanging in the air like guillotine waiting to fall.
“An alpha?” you repeat, sounding disbelieving. The doctor confirms with a hum.
“Yes, a familiar alpha. Based on the examination, it seems that your presentation was triggered by overwhelming and heavy pheromones of agitated alphas. I was informed that you were watching a basketball match before you fainted, correct?” You nod, failing to find your voice to answer. “Omegas are very responsive towards alphas pheromones, especially when those alphas are running on adrenaline and being very competitive.”
Oh. You recall the way Heeseung’s loud voice shook you to your core, finally finding an explanation to the way your body reacted. You shift in your seat, suddenly too aware of your surroundings.
“And to tie it back to your heat cycle, Y/N, are you close with any of those alphas?”
The guillotine finally falls, cutting your oxygen like a cruel punishment meant to kill. You visibly stiffen, a certain face flashing in your mind like a broken record.
It’s your mom who speaks first. “Yes, she is close with Nishimura Riki. He was at the court with her.”
A small smile grazes the doctor’s lips. “Then that may be the safest option. Perhaps he can help with your daughter’s heat, seeing as she has no exclusive partner now.”
The doctor’s words keep looping in your head like a tape stuck on repeat—an alpha…a familiar alpha…
And somehow, you end up outside the locker room, waiting.
Waiting for the one person who has always been your anchor, whether you deserved him or not.
Nishimura Riki.
He steps out of the locker room with his usual lazy confidence, but there is a tension in his shoulders now. His hair is damp from a post-game shower, curly and messy, framing his eyes like velvet curtains. As if he was a radar specialised to sense you, his nose twitches, and then his head snaps in your direction.
There is a brieft silence between the two of you. You raise your hand and wave, and that’s all it takes for Riki to stride towards you with long steps. He drops his bag on the floor, not caring where it lands, and pulls you into his arms.
“Riki—” Your greetings die in your throats, muffled by the soft fabric of his hoodie as he tightens his hold. His palm, big and warm, cradles the back of your head in a firm yet gentle grip. You relax into his embrace, clutching at his hoodie, feeling grounded in his scent. He smells like soap and his own pheromones, and in the quiet, familiar warmth of being engulfed by Riki, you silently admit that your best friend does smell the best.
“God, Y/N,” he whispers, breath fanning the shell of your ears, making your skin tingles, “do you want me to die from worry? No replies, no call back. God.”
Your lips curve into a small smile before you break the embrace, putting a distance between the two of you to look at his face. His handsome, pretty face that you’ve missed so much.
“I’m sorry, Ki. Things were pretty rough.”
Riki doesn’t say anything. His eyes, heavy with care and unspoken desire, rake over your features before he slowly nods.
“I know. I’ve been through it too. How are you now?”
You bite your bottom lip, letting yourself indulge in his caring nature. “I’m good now. A whole lot different, but good.”
Riki’s face relaxes into a relief before he slings an arm around your neck again, his habit that you’re used to now. “Great. Now let me treat you to that steak place, you can’t say no—”
“No, Riki.” You cut him off, and that stops him in his tracks. Riki looks at you in confusion when you detach yourself from him, putting his arm back to his side. You throw the locker room a nervous glance, before looking back at him.
“There’s something…I must tell you.”
Riki’s scent spikes. You feel it like a soft punch in your chest.
“What is it?” he asks, voice too low, like he’s scared of what’s to come.
“I…you know I’m a late-presenting omega, right? The doctor says that I’m quite unstable now,” you swallow, fiddling with the edge of your sweater. The words are heavy on your tongue, like lead pressing on a mattress.
“My heat will come in a week, and…and I must spend it with an alpha to regulate myself back.”
Riki doesn’t move, and so do you. And in that moment, you feel it. The impending consequences that come from telling him the truth. But between losing a friendship with Riki, being denied from his company that’s caused by your unrequited love, and letting yourself into another person’s life, forever yearning for Riki but still remains his friend; you’ll always choose the latter.
Because you’ll have him, as whoever he is; as your friend, your unrequited love, your crush—than a stranger.
“Y/N—”
“I need Jay to be that alpha.”
His eyes darken. “What?” Riki tries to keep it calm, but his voice is low and tight. “What do you mean, Jay?”
You take a deep breath, suddenly feeling the walls too close to your skin. Across from you, Riki is staring with a sharp, heavy gaze, his eyes pleading for an explanation.
He takes a step closer. “Why Jay?”
“I—I mean, you always told me that Jay is a gentleman. And if you trust him so much, then I think…” your voice trails off when Riki takes another step, but you’re determined to stay rooted in your place.
“You think you can trust him just because I do?” He continues for you, his voice now an octave lower. You swallow.
“Not just because you trust him,” you say, voice shaky. “Because… because he’s the only one I know who won’t take advantage of me.”
Riki’s jaw tightens. His eyes narrow as if he’s trying to bite the words out of you.
“You think I would?” he snaps, then immediately regrets the sharpness in his tone.
His expression changes. Softer now, but still intense.
“I would never—”
You shake your head, too quickly. “No, Riki. That’s not what I mean. It’s just—” Your breath hitches, and your voice breaks. “You’re my best friend. I—We can’t. Best friends don’t do that.”
The words hit him like a strong wave, and it might as well be true from the way he falters in his stance slightly. You feel his distress before you smell it; burnt sandalwood and bitter musk, a telltale sign of his emotions. Your heart lurches in your throat, begging you to embrace and comfort the alpha in front of you.
But before you can do anything, Riki takes a step back first. He nods curtly, schooling his expression despite his scent.
Then he speaks, voice low and clipped, like he’s swallowing a scream.
“Yeah. Best friends don’t.”
“Riki—”
“I’ll ask Jay about it,” he says, his voice sounding distant. Your heart breaks. “He’s a gentleman. He’ll be willing to help you.”
Without waiting for your reply, Riki turns around. He snatches his bag off the floor, posture rigid and tense as he walks away, leaving you behind with guilt clawing at your throat. Your legs weaken, and before you know it, you are back on the bench, clutching at your heart and feeling like you have broken something you shouldn’t.
riki ducky
jay agreed
You stare at the text, the last and only text you received from Riki since that fateful day at the locker room. He’s been avoiding you like a plague, keeping distance, and ignoring your texts and calls like you’re a desperate ex. You sigh.
“I just—I don’t want to ruin our friendship! He’s the only alpha I want, but—” you run a hand through your hair. Wonyoung is slouching on the other end of the couch, listening to you like an unpaid therapist. “But does he want me?”
Wonyoung licks her popsicle and throws you a knowing look. “In my opinion, Y/N—you just need to go to his apartment. Trust me on this.”
You groan. “I just asked you that question! We don’t even know if he wants me!”
“Oh my God,” Wonyoung rolls her eyes, kicking at your thigh from where she’s sitting. “You guys are so insufferable and dramatic. Just go before I deliver you to him myself.”
“I’m not a parcel!”
“Just go!”
So, with reluctance and doubt scratching at your skin, you drag your feet to Riki’s apartment. It has been five days since he talked to you, and with your heat approaching fast, with your pre-heat symptoms wearing at your bones like a curse, you’re not sure if it’s the right idea to do so. He might kick you out. He might not even answer. Either way, it’ll be less embarrassing with no witnesses because Riki lives alone.
Stupid rich Japanese kid.
To your surprise, the door opens after the first ring, revealing a disheveled, messy Riki. His hair is tousled, like it’s been run by his fingers way too many times. His tank top sits snugly on his body, slightly crumpled and damp from sweat. His eyes, usually bright and lively, are now sharp and dark. You blink at him, taking in his unkempt figure swallowing the doorway with his height, before you finally ask:
“Can I come in?”
Riki opens the door wider like an invitation, letting you pass the threshold before closing it shut with a click. He lets you toe off your shoes, lets you lead him into the living room, lets you admire his furniture arrangement—though right now the space is untidy with unfolded clothes and discarded socks—but says nothing.
The hush between the two of you stretches, until Riki decides to break it, his voice low and grim.
“Why are you here? You should be with Jay.”
There is a hint of bitterness in his tone, and the spike in his scent just proves it further. You take a step towards him, careful and slow, waiting for his permission. When Riki doesn’t move, when he doesn’t stop you; you take another step.
“Riki,” you start, hands raising to touch his arms but dropping them back. Riki only stares. “What’s wrong, Riki? You’ve been avoiding me.”
Riki doesn’t answer right away, a storm behind his eyes as he only stares at you with a blank face. But the twitch in his jaw doesn’t go unnoticed. “I’m not avoiding you,” he mutters, a barely restrained voice that tugs at your heart. “Just busy.”
“You’re not even replying to me,” you speak again, hearing the crack in your voice. Riki stiffens, his hands clenching into fists. “It—It hurts, Riki. I don’t know why you can’t just talk to me.”
Riki says nothing. His mouth is a prison, staring at you like he’s figuring how to breathe again. His scent reaches you—clean musk and sandalwood—only now it feels heavier, like the fragrance has been pulled down by the weight of his emotions. The sandalwood smells faintly burnt, and the musk has a dull edge, like he’s been holding his breath for too long.
And you hate it. You hate it so much that he’s been keeping things to himself. In another desperate attempt to get him talking, you tug at his wrist, the skin warm under your touch, but you flinch when Riki snatches his hand away. Wide-eyed and caught off guard, you stare at him with your heart in your throat.
Riki takes a step back, his mouth curling into a tight line. “Don’t touch me. I—I can’t deal with this right now.”
There is a jab of pain in your heart at his words, but you’re not backing down. Not now when the only person that you’re scared to lose is showing signs of slipping away. Not now when the wolf inside you is whimpering, agitated from Riki’s actions.
You have an idea where this is all coming from. Truly, you aren’t that stupid to not notice his distance right after you requested to spend your heat with Jay. If you have to point in one direction, you’d say that Riki has been acting like a jealous boyfriend. Surprisingly, that speculation doesn’t bother you.
It’s the why that’s drilling into your mind, pulling you away from a good night’s sleep everyday. It’s the why that’s invading your thoughts, fraying every nerve in your system, keeping you hostage to your own overthinking.
Because admitting them will give you hope—and hope is a dangerous thing when you’re in love. Especially when it’s one-sided. Especially when it’s just you on the boat, drowning like a locked chest into the abyss when your lifeline, your Riki is walking away from the shore.
So you try to brave up. “Please, Riki. Don’t shut me out,” you exhale shakily, the words lodging in your throat, “if this is about me and Jay, you should just tell me.”
That seems to hit a spot. Riki scoffs, weaving his fingers through his already-messy hair, sounding disbelieving. “What, you think I’m jealous?”
Your eyes narrow, pulse racing in your ears. “It does seem like it.”
Riki returns your gaze, clicking his tongue, the one habit he does when he’s annoyed. “Don’t push it, Y/N,” he doesn’t hesitate his next words, eyes locked onto yours like he wants you to digest and understand them. “You can fuck Jay if you want. I couldn’t fucking care less about you.”
The words land like a slap, but it’s Riki who flinches. He stares at you, eyes widening, realisation dawning upon his features. But it’s too late.
Your scent takes a sharp turn, burnt caramel filling the air. You stagger one step backwards, and Riki’s heart lurches when he sees your glassy eyes.
You swallow. “I see.”
“No,” Riki whispers, his wolf wailing in regret at the sight of your anguished, crumbled face, “fuck, Y/N. I—I didn’t mean that.”
You shake your head, a small, humourless laugh slipping past your lips like something is breaking. And it’s probably your heart. It’s definitely your heart. “It’s okay,” you say, too calmly. Too gently. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”
Riki’s chest tightens at that. At how quiet you suddenly are.
You turn away from him, movements stiff, deliberate, like if you move too fast, you’ll shatter. Each step you take feels heavy, your body screaming for you to get out before you embarrass yourself further. Before he sees you cry.
“Y/N, wait!” Riki reaches out instinctively, fingers grazing nothing but air as you slip past him.
You don’t look back. You can’t. Your throat burns, your vision blurring as you make your way toward the door. The apartment feels suffocating now, walls closing in, every trace of his scent pressing down on your lungs.
“I shouldn’t have come,” you murmur, more to yourself than to him. “I’m sorry.”
Sorry for hoping.
Sorry for loving him.
Sorry for thinking you meant more.
The click of the door unlocking sounds painfully loud in the silence.
“Y/N.”
His voice cracks this time. Not sharp. Not defensive. It’s bare.
You pause, hand resting on the handle, shoulders trembling despite your efforts to stay composed. Your scent curls tighter, darker—burnt sugar and salt, grief bleeding into the air.
“I can’t stay here,” you say softly. “Not if that’s how you feel.”
The door opens a fraction before Riki’s hand slams against it, stopping it from opening any further.
You gasp, startled, heart leaping into your throat as his palm presses flat against the wood beside yours. He’s breathing hard now, chest rising and falling like he’s been running after something he’s terrified to lose.
“I said I didn’t mean it,” he forces out, voice rough, desperate. “Don’t—don’t leave. Please.”
Slowly, you turn back to look at him.
Riki’s eyes are red-rimmed, frantic, his scent spiraling wildly—clean musk fractured, sandalwood raw and aching, like it’s been split open. He looks nothing like the composed alpha who pushed you away moments ago.
“I can’t let you walk out like this,” he says, quieter now, like a confession he’s been holding back for years. “Not because of something I said just to hurt you.”
His fingers curl against the door, knuckles white.
Your lips tremble as the dam breaks. “Then why,” you sob, pushing at his chest weakly, “why would you say those things? Why would you push me away?”
Your hands feel useless against his broad body, like you’re trying to hold back a storm with nothing but your fingertips. Your breath comes out in ragged bursts, and you can’t stop the hot tears spilling down your cheeks. The air around you feels heavy, thick with the scent of him — sandalwood and something sharper, like his anger clinging to him even now.
“I know, I’m sorry, baby,” his voice is quiet, not at all budging from your soft hitting. It’s strange how calm he sounds when you feel like you’re breaking apart. He grabs your wrists, bringing them to his lips. His mouth is wet, trembling.
You pause.
His lips brush your skin again, a gentle pressure that feels almost reverent. It makes your heart twist, because you don’t know whether to feel comforted or crushed. You’re still shaking, still sobbing, still trying to understand how he could make you feel so safe and so hurt in the same breath.
“I care about you too much. So much that it drives me crazy.”
Riki finally looks up, his glassy eyes mirroring yours. The sandalwood now hangs bare in the air, stripped of any traces of pride. He looks smaller, like the weight of what he’s feeling is pressing him down.
“I’m so fucking jealous, Y/N. I—I can’t,” Riki swallows, closes his eyes in desperation, and then he drops.
He drops to his knees, and the sudden movement makes your breath hitch. His neck cranes to see you, like he needs to make sure you’re still there. His arms, pliant and strong, wrap themselves around your waist, pulling you in like you’re the only thing that keeps him from falling apart.
You can feel his heartbeat through his chest, fast and wild, matching your own. For a moment the world is just the two of you—his scent, his trembling breath, your tears—everything else fading until all that exists is the raw, aching truth between you.
Riki buries his nose into your stomach, the fabric dampens with his tears. “I’m sorry, so sorry, Y/N. Please, and this time I mean it, please don’t go to Jay.”
Your hands hover at your sides, not knowing where to place them. When you feel the muffled sob against your stomach, you finally let them drop into his hair, caressing the strands like you do a puppy. And right now, in this position and situation, Riki doesn’t seem less than one.
“Riki…” you whisper, soft and gentle.
“Please don’t go to Jay,” he pleads, looking up to you again, tears clinging to his lashes. Your heart clenches at the sight. “Please let me be your alpha. Please,” he confesses, gripping at your shirt like a lifeline.
“I only ever know to love you, Y/N,” he trembles like a dead leaf, his breath shaky, “And it kills me to even imagine you with someone that’s not me.”
Your lips part, your hands in his hair stilling.
I only ever know to love you, Y/N.
You don’t move at first. You think you don’t even breathe. You replay his words, re-reading the sentence in your mind as if scared the alphabets might rearrange themselves into something else—something that would call you out of your delusion.
But Riki, staring up at you earnestly, handing his heart over to you in his trembling palms, is not a delusion. He’s real. And he’s here, with you, saying words you only ever heard in your deepest fantasies.
You feel your shoulders sag a fraction, like something heavy just settled into place.
“Riki, come here.” You tap slowly at his arms, willing yourself to hide your shaky voice. “You’ll hurt your knees, baby. Come here.”
“Come back to me.”
Riki obeys without thinking twice. His height towers over you, and when it used to feel like he’s as far to reach as he is physically from you; now it feels safe. It feels firm, grounded; a protection only he can give you.
You cup his cheek, gazing into his eyes with a fondness you reserve only for him. The tears come back, but it’s not from pain anymore. There is a tinge of hurt still, from the words he carelessly threw to protect his pride. But his confession, your revelation, take priority now. It presses heavy on your tongue, begging to be let out, to escape from the misery of your unspoken feelings.
“Riki,” you start, almost breathless. “I love you, too.”
Riki almost stops breathing, but you keep caressing his cheeks to remind him to. To remind him that it’s true.
“I’ve always been. Even before I knew what it meant.”
Riki takes in a sharp breath before he lets himself lean into your touch. Pulling you into his arms, he buries his nose into your hair, inhaling lungfuls of your scent like a stray cat finally finding a home. You melt into his embrace, feeling every hard line of his body pressing into yours.
“I’m so sorry for feeling scared,” Riki whispers, still wet from tears, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re too precious to me, Y/N. I can’t risk that.”
You hum into his shoulders, taking in the way his scent becomes warmer, the sandalwood now is rid of its burnt edge. “I’m still hurt, but I get it. I was scared too, Ki. It’s the only reason why I asked for Jay.”
Apparently, Jay’s name serves as a trigger now. Riki breaks the hug and looks into your eyes, now dark with a desire waiting to be unleashed. He cups your jaw in a gentle manner, but the grip is firm.
“Will you let me take care of you?”
You nod, and when his face leans closer to yours, you let yourself get pulled in by the force of his affection; of the desire now curling and swirling in his eyes.
“Will you let me be your man?” he whispers, lips just a breath away from each other now. Riki noses your cheek with a tenderness akin to handling a glass. “Hm? Answer me, Y/N.”
Your breath hitches. “Yes, Riki. Please take care of me.”
Riki’s eyes soften as he stares into your eyes before he finally lets his lips engulf yours. The kiss starts slow at first, careful and tender and wet, tethering on the new boundaries made after a line has been crossed, before it gets heated and needy.
Riki kisses like a starved man, like your mouth is a well of water to quench his thirst. His hands now wander; gripping at your waist, squeezing at your hip, feeling your body with his rough, calloused hands like he’s trying to memorise you by touch.
“Fuck,” he groans into your mouth, his body pressing into yours. He breaks the kiss, breath now ragged, and stares at you with a new level of depth that makes something inside you flutter. Your eyes are glassy and dazed, and Riki curses at himself for letting himself get carried away.
“I’m so sorry. Is your heat near?”
When you nod, Riki moves slightly, but your hands are faster, clamping around his arms like a pair of cuffs. “Where are you going?” there is a pout in your voice, and Riki near damn coos. “You said you’ll take care of me.”
Riki’s jaw clenches, his hands flexing at his sides, a barely contained desire that he tries so hard to control. “I—I want to, Y/N, trust me. But this—” he gestures at the both of you, trying to create words from air, “this will change everything about us. We can’t stay as just friends after this. And that’s a big thing, Y/N.”
Riki licks his lips, eyes flicking to yours in a brief glance before he looks to the floor again.
“I don’t want you to make hasty decisions or regret anything.”
Your chest swells at that, and you couldn’t help the grin that splits across your face. Rubbing into his arms in soothing circles, you can’t keep the love and affection from bleeding into your voice when you speak.
“I won’t regret anything with you, Riki.” You pause, watching the man before you earnestly. God, he’s so handsome. You smile. “I want to do this with you, Ki. I choose you. And I’ll have you so long you want to have me, too.”
Riki doesn’t move. His eyes search yours, looking for the faintest hint of discomfort and lies. But when all he can see is your eyes reflecting his love, he finally lets the tension off his shoulders.
“Okay,” Riki nods, wetting his lips once more. “Okay. I—thank you for that, Y/N, truly. I was about to kidnap you if you said no.”
You laugh at that, eyes wrinkling in joy, the tension easing up a bit. Riki touches your cheek, thumb brushing your tears slowly before letting go.
“Can you wait in my bedroom? I need to call your mom first. She needs to know that I’m about to eat her daughter alive.”
A rosy heat blooms across your face before you hit his shoulders playfully. Riki throws you a smirk, shrugging with nonchalance.
“What? Aren’t I a good future son-in-law?”
“Oh, shut up.” You roll your eyes, but the wide grin you have betrays you completely. “Be quick, Ki. Don’t leave me for too long.”
“Oh, I will, baby. I’m a greedy man after all.”
Riki winks, and you groan. To save yourself from further embarrassment, you make a small run for his bedroom, feeling his eyes boring holes into your skull as you leave.
The living room seems to expand in your absence. Riki lets out a low, dark chuckle. He pockets his phone out of his sweatpants and makes a quick dial to your mother.
It’s just a brief call, with him letting your mother know what’s going to go down in less than forty-eight hours, listening to the relief in her voice when she realises it’s going to be him. After giving her his words of promises, Riki finally heads to his room.
The door creaks open and in an instant, a heavy, thick wave of vanilla scent washes over him. Riki staggers, gripping his phone in an attempt to recover from the smell of arousal practically dripping in the air.
His eyes find you on the bed, and the sight nearly takes his breath away.
There, perched on the bed, body slicked with sweat and completely naked, is you. You’re hugging his blanket to your nose, inhaling his pheromones, dizzy from his masculine, earthy sandalwood.
Your eyes meet his, glassy and dazed, drunk on hormones and heat.
“It’s hot, Riki,” there are wet noises coming from you, and only then does he realise that you have been fucking yourself on your fingers, using your own slick as lube. Riki feels his cock throb, eyes tranced on the way your hips move. “Smell so good, alpha, need you to fuck me.”
Your heat is here, and the trigger has been his own pheromones, which smells the strongest in his room. Riki curses under his breath, mentally slapping himself for overlooking the effects his pheromones over omega nearing their heat. He pushes the door close with his foot, not breaking eye contact with you as you moan, fingers moving faster.
Riki’s hold on his phone is knuckle-white, feeling the restraint leaving his body with every inhale of your intoxicating scent.
“Alpha,” you pant, fisting at his blanket closer, and Riki swears he’s leaking precum. “Need you s’bad. Please.”
Riki wills himself to not jump on you, hands clenching and unclenching as he tries to steady his own breathing.
It’s probably the hardest he’s ever tried.
Closing his eyes, he forces control into his system, chanting like a mantra that he’s here to help you with your heat, to make it less painful for you. That now it’s about you and not him, and Riki will pull the trigger himself if he ever touches you in any way that you don’t consent to.
Taking one last breath, Riki opens his eyes again. This time, there is a primal need lurking in his gaze, but it feels grounded and controlled. He circles the bed slowly, letting your noises greet his senses like music of sins. He puts his phone on the bedside and turns to face you, still not saying anything.
You scramble to kneel on the bed and pull him close by his waistband, fingers soaked and shaking. Your big, misty eyes peer at him through your lashes, practically begging him to take you.
“Riki, please.”
His rough palm cups your cheeks, breath getting shallow and short.
“Please what, baby?” he finally speaks, low and sensual. You pout.
“Please fuck me, alpha.”
Riki groans and finally, finally, leans down and captures your mouth in a rough kiss. You sigh, tugging his hair as you deepen the kiss. Your teeth clash against his, his tongue licking into your mouth, pushing back your moans into your throat.
“Such a needy baby,” he rasps, grabbing your hips as he moves you to the center of the bed, manhandling you with ease. You bite your lips at the show of his strength. “Can’t even wait for me, hm? Should I just leave you with your fingers?”
You shake your head frantically, choking out a moan when Riki slides up his clothed knee against your folds. “No, please. Need your fingers. Need your cock, Riki.”
“Yeah?” Riki taunts, his eyes darkening as you hump your cunt on his knees, desperate for friction and release. He leans down, silver chain dangling cold against your hot skin, catching the shell of your ear with his teeth.
“Tell me how much you need it, baby,” he purrs, leaving hot trails down the side of your throat. You tilt your head back, offering your neck like a meal. And what a fucking meal you are to him. “Tell me how badly you need my thick cock in your pussy right now.”
He sucks on the tender skin to leave a mark before moving to litter more of it on your skin. You mewl, gripping his shirt desperately.
“Need you to—ah—need your cock to fill me up,” you whimper, arching your back when Riki descends, closing his mouth around one of your nipples. He sucks on it like he does a lollipop, flicking his tongue at the perky nipple, his other hand kneading your other boob. “Need you to fuck me until I can’t think—ah! Riki!”
His finger finds your clit and flicks the nub, pressing and rolling it with a precision that has you choke on lust. “I’ll fuck you good baby,” he rasps, watching you with his sharp, dark eyes, capturing your expressions into his memory. His sweatpants tighten painfully. “But I need to prepare you first, hm?”
“No,” you sob, hips bucking into his touch. Riki’s eyes never leave yours, his arm still holding himself strong over your body. “I’m ready. Just fuck me, please.”
Riki coos and kisses your tear-stricken face. “I know, baby. You’re fucking soaked down there.” He groans, feeling another slick ooze out of your hole as if proving his point. Riki bites his lip. “But I don’t wanna hurt you—fuck, you’re grinding on my palm, baby.” Riki lets out a dark chuckle, letting you use his palm to get off. “So fucking greedy.”
You whine when he removes his hand, your hole clenching at nothing. Riki pulls your ankle to the edge of the bed, hooking your legs over his shoulders as he slowly kneels for the second time that night, his hot breath fanning on your weeping cunt.
He draws a lungful of your arousal and groans, the scent wrapping around him like a warm blanket.
Caramel and vanilla fill his lungs, and for a moment his whole body stills—like he’s been struck by how perfectly you’re made for him. Riki holds your gaze, refusing to look away when he licks a fat stripe on your folds.
“Oh!” Your hand flies to tug at his hair, a sob escaping your lips. Riki laps at your cunt again, humming at the sweet taste on his tongue, flicking that muscle between your slits before pressing onto your clit. You choke, squishing his head between your thighs.
“So good, alpha, feels so good,” you cry out, grinding on his tongue as he plays with your clit. “‘M close, gonna come, ah, ah—”
The orgasm jerks your entire body, your vision going white for a few seconds. But Riki doesn’t stop. His eyes are hooded as he drinks in your juice, lapping at your folds without wasting a single drop before he slips in his index finger.
Your body arches off the mattress. “Riki!” You scream, the stretch burns but it burns so fucking good. He slides in another digit, finger-fucking you through another orgasm, caressing and pressing the spongy walls with all the fervor of a hungry man. His tongue continues flicking your clit, the numb bundle of nerves sending a tingling sensation across your body.
Tears brim along your lashline, too drunk on lust and heat pheromones and overstimulation. “‘M close, Riki, ah,” you pull his hair, eliciting a groan that vibrates in your pussy. “Riki!”
Your second climax hits you in shockwaves. The man between your legs kitty-licks your pussy, letting you ride out your orgasm before he climbs onto your figure. His mouth and chin are wet from your slick, lips shining with sin and spit.
“You taste divine, my love,” he pops his fingers into his mouth and makes a show of his tongue swirling around his cum-coated digits, sucking on the remnants of your juice. You mewl. “I can eat you out forever.”
You watch him grin, still breathless from your previous orgasm. But the heat crawls back into your nerves and before you know it, you’re wet again, needy again. Riki knows it, of course he does. He settles himself between your legs, peeling off his drenched tank top.
Your mouth waters at his well-defined body. You’ve always known how hot your best friend is, especially after his alpha-presentation. He’s all muscles and sinful lines, sculpted by the Greek gods themselves. Riki knows he’s hot, and he never fails to show you that he knows; if his smirk is anything to go by.
“My baby’s been waiting for my cock, aren’t you?” His thumb grazes your bottom lip with a gentleness that clashes with the hunger in his eyes. You hum, feeling his eyes soften on you.
Riki leans down and gives you a soft, slow kiss. He pecks the tip of your nose before caressing your cheek with his. Inside, your omega purrs in satisfaction at the display of affection.
“Tell me if it’s too much, yeah?”
You nod. Riki nudges your nose with his, his mouth curving into a small smile. “Use your mouth, baby.”
“Yes.” You breathe out, and your legs hook around his waist without thinking, pulling him closer. You grind your bare cunt against his clothed length, slow at first, then faster, as if you need to prove something to yourself. The fabric presses into you, and the friction sends a shock through your nerves. Riki groans, a disbelieving chuckle leaving his lips before he straightens up.
His eyes never leave you. “So impatient,” he sighs, his voice low and amused.
He yanks his sweatpants and boxer off in one go, hissing when his cock springs free, rock-hard and rigid. You almost drool at the sight.
He’s big. Fuck, he’s too damn big.
“Cat got your tongue, baby?” Riki grunts, stroking his cock in languid motions, slicked with his precum, watching your face like a predator stalking its prey.
Your eyes stay glued to him, glazing over in a trance. You can’t stop staring, like you’re afraid to blink and lose the image.
“So big,” you murmur, your voice shaking.
Riki can’t help the triumphant smirk on his face, his alpha howling in pride.
“Too big, alpha, fuck.”
“I know,” he rasps, lining his cock against your entrance,“I don’t even know if it will fit.”
Then, with a single thrust, he slides in. You gasp, the sting blooming sharp and hot before melting into something dizzying, your stomach tightening as if it’s being pulled inward around him.
“But you will make it fucking fit.”
Riki pushes in inch by inch, noting every micro-expression of discomfort in your pretty face, your breath stuttering, hands gripping at him as the pressure curls low in your belly.
“Tell me if it hurts, love.”
“It hurts,” you croak, the words breaking apart on your tongue, wrapping your arms around his neck, mouth moving against mouth. “But it hurts so good, Riki.”
Riki kisses you through the pain, whispering comfort and praises into your ears, easing you into it. When he finally bottoms out, you almost sob again, the fullness stretching deep, heavy and overwhelming, heat pooling in your stomach until it feels like you can’t think past it.
“Still good?” Riki asks, jaw clenching at the feeling of your walls hugging his length. You nod, feeling the tension in your muscle unclench.
“Y-You can move now, Riki.”
Something dark glints in his eyes. “I can’t fucking move, baby,” he chuckles lowly, the sound torn and breathless, vibrating straight into you, “your pussy’s sucking me in.”
You moan at his crude words, your walls clenching around his dick. Riki lets out a curse before sliding out and thrusting back in with a snap of his hip. You scream, the sound sharp and unplanned, nails scratching his arms as your stomach clenches tight.
“S’tight, love,” he gives you another sharp thrust, hitting that sweet spot easily, breath mingling with yours. “Pussy so tiny, baby, fuck,” he growls into your ears. You nod, mind turning mushy from heat and pleasure. “Can you feel me deep inside your—fuck—tight cunt,” he pants, each word making your belly flutter helplessly, shoving his cock with a powerful thrust that has you seeing stars, “filling you up with my fat cock?”
“Yes!” you sob, voice cracking, breath hitching between syllables, wetting your face with another round of tears. The air smells of pheromones and sex, slicked bodies tangled in sheets. “More, more, more, please.”
“So fucking good to me,” Riki stares you down, eyes clouded with lust, drinking in the way your breasts jingle every time his hips meet yours. He moans. “You’re so beautiful, my pretty baby. Were you gonna let Jay see you like this?”
Your walls instinctively clench at the image, your stomach dropping hot and heavy, and Riki lets out a dark, wicked laugh at that. His gaze sharpens, his pace getting rougher and sharper as he looks at you with newly-lit fire in his eyes.
“You’re so fucking shameless,” he spits.
You whine from his harsh words, but your body only responds more, slick pooling hotter between your legs. The shame digs into your ribs, but the need overrides it.
Riki’s jaw twitches.
“Were you gonna beg for his cock, huh? You think he can fuck you good like this?”
“No—Riki, no—only you—ah, oh God.”
His thrusts don’t slow. They become relentless, each one harder than the last, his hips snapping in a steady rhythm that leaves you breathless. Your moans bounce off the walls, high and broken, tangled with the wet sound of skin meeting skin, as you shake your head, shame and lust clawing at your throat.
Riki lifts your hips and grabs your ass, the new angle making you roll your eyes in pleasure. You bite down on your lip, trying to hold back the sound, but the sensation is too much.
“Yes, yes—there! Fuck, Riki, more, please,” you moan, high-pitched and broken, feeling the familiar rush inside your belly.
His breath comes out ragged, his body leaning forward like he’s trying to bury himself into you. The heat between you tightens, and you can feel the way his length presses deeper with each thrust.
“I’m never letting go, baby,” Riki pants, damp fringes framing his eyes, his thrust growing faster and sloppy. “This pussy is fucking mine.”
“‘M yours,” you slur, mind turning fuzzy from the feeling of his cock splitting you open. “I’m only—ah—yours!”
“That’s right, baby,” Riki growls, pressing into your hips with a bruising grip. His breath is frantic, his voice pitching into a higher tone. “You’re fucking mine, shit—I’m close.”
“Please give me your knot—ah!” You scream, begging for his knot and cum incoherently, drool trailing down your chin. A stuttered moan leaves your chest when Riki thumbs at your clit, bringing you closer to the edge. His bulge is growing inside you, and you shudder in anticipation for his knot.
“Take my fucking knot,” he grunts, and you nod, mind going hazy from being fucked dumb.
“Knot—give me your knot—alpha—I’m—close! Oh God, Riki!” His name tears off your throat in a shrill scream, drowning out Riki’s low, guttural growl as he comes with you. His cock inflates inside your belly, pumping into you full and stretched, riding out the waves before he collapses on top of you, careful not to let his weight crash over you.
“Hey,” Riki whispers after a pause, brushing your hair from your forehead, his heart clenching at the sight of your tears. “Baby, is it too much? You good?”
You let out a low hum, closing your eyes as Riki peppers your face with kisses. Your body feels heavy, pleasantly spent, limbs loose like you might melt straight into the mattress if he lets go.
“M’good,” you murmur, voice thick and sleepy. “Just… a lot.”
Riki exhales, something like relief softening his features. He shifts carefully, cautious of the knot still swelling inside your belly, adjusting the sheets around you both, one hand resting warm and steady on your waist like an anchor. “Yeah,” he whispers, brushing his thumb under your eye. “I figured.”
He stays like that—no rush, no urgency—just tracing slow, absent patterns against your skin, grounding you back into yourself. Every now and then, he presses a kiss to your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, like he’s checking that you’re still here with him.
“You did so good,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “So brave.”
Your chest tightens at that, but this time it’s not overwhelming. It’s gentle. Safe. You shift closer, instinctively tucking yourself against him, and Riki immediately wraps his arms around you, pulling you in without hesitation.
“I love you,” Riki whispers into your hair. The thrill and adrenaline finally die down, leaving behind small tingles of love and affection that makes your chest feel too small. You tighten your hold.
“I love you too, Riki,” you sigh, feeling another wave of heat coursing through your veins. Shit. You almost forgot that you’re in heat. Riki only laughs when he feels your hole pushing out more slick.
“My baby’s so horny, yeah?”
“It’s the heat!” You hide your face in his chest, cheeks burning, then peek one eye open at him. Riki’s starry eyes hold yours, unhurried, like he has nowhere else to be but in your arms. You shy away. “Can we do another round? Please?”
He laughs, a deep, throaty laugh that warms up your chest. Planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, Riki meets your pleading eyes with a boxy grin.
“Of course we can, my love,” he murmurs, “anything for you.”
A comfortable silence falls over you like a weighted blanket. Riki rubs his nose against your scent gland, basking you in his warm sandalwood and clean musk, feeling you grow relaxed in his arms as you wait for the knot to deflate before you speak again.
“And can you actually bring me to that steak place after my heat ends?”
Riki snorts quietly. “Yeah,” he says, tightening his hold on you. “I’ll take you anywhere you want.”
You don’t even like baseball. Yet, here you are, on a date with a deadbeat who you regret not turning down. In good news, a certain player keeps catching your eye, making this experience easier to sit through. In bad news, an apocalypse is coming your way. Little do you know, in that chaos and horror, you’ll find that there may have been a good reason you chose to go to the baseball game…and his name is Park Jongseong.
WARNING(S): SMUT; oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), masturbation, unprotected sex. GORE; descriptions of death, people being mauled and dismembered, and generally gruesome + horror forward themes.
WORD COUNT: 13k
NOTE: Please enjoy this beloved fic of mine! While it’s inspired by the A Quiet Place Franchise, you don’t have to have seen the movies to read. Also, word on the street is i’m working on a Dark!Niki fanfic 🙂↕️
You don’t even like baseball.
Not for any good reason, but you’d never been particularly interested in sports. Maybe it’s because you’ve always subconsciously associated it with men who’ve got fragile egos.
Regardless of the reason why, you’re still trying to wrap your head around your date’s thought process.
What about this is romantic?
It’s hot, for one. The announcers voice is incredibly loud as it echoes through the stadium, yet hard to hear at the same time. You’re squished between your date and another random man, who has no regard for your need for arm space.
And, of course, you are lost. So ridiculously lost. Maybe it’s on you. After all, you agreed to go on the date, knowing it was baseball. It felt cruel to turn your date, Arthur, down, especially when he emphasized that he bought an extra ticket just for you!
You sigh, slumping in your seat. Not dramatically enough to draw any attention to yourself, but Arthur is so fixated on the field that you don’t think he’d notice you throwing a whole tantrum next to him.
You grimace at the way he shoves his hot dog between his lips, the ketchup, mustard, and other toppings dripping down the side of his mouth. Which, he wipes with his thumb, just to lick it off. It’s not inherently gross or unnatural, but you’re quickly realizing that you’re just not into this poor guy.
From the jump, he’d been charming, sure, but he also had this off-putting energy. Not like serial killer off-putting, but more like the kind of guy who wants a wife and kids, but not necessarily to be a dad or husband, if that makes any sense.
You wanted to see it through, though, give the guy a chance. Which is why you’re here. Unfortunately for you, you’ve already made up your mind about Arthur, and now, you have to sit through this baseball game with a convincing enough smile to remain unbothered by him worrying about it.
Grabbing your paper cup, you sip on the cold soda of your choice, a taste of relief underneath the hot sun.
In other good news, safe from the half-melted drink in your hand, one of the players for the Seattle Mariners team is rather attractive. Which, you’re well aware that it’s somewhat immoral to be checking out a completely unattainable man while you’re actively on a date, but you’ve already decided that you’re gonna let him down gently later, so what’s the harm?
Park Jongseong, moreso known as Jay, or number 19, from what you’ve gathered, is a stellar player. He’s good at batting—you think that’s the term—and seems to have a shitload of fans in the stands.
Safe from your date, that is, who scowls at the baseball player like he’s got a personal vendetta against him.
“Why do you make that face every time?” You ask, tilting your head at Arthur, who you have to nudge to get his attention.
He looks at you, and you repeat yourself, just for him to scoff incredulously, like you should know exactly why he despises Jay.
“He’s the kind of player that’s only so popular because girls like him. He’s not even that good! Like, there was this one time—“
And here comes the long winded rant about shit you won’t understand. It’s clearly fueled by his disdain for Jay, rather than actual fact, and you’re somewhat icked out by the fact that he’s so passionate about his hatred for the man that he’s foaming at the mouth.
Yuck.
Again, if he was a better guy, you would care less, but he is not helping his case. So, you just nod, feign understanding.
“Yeah, boo,” you agree, shaking your head as Arthur whips his head back towards the field, finishing his hot dog in the same messy fashion he started eating it with.
You manage an amused huff at the ridiculousness of this situation. Your eyes wander back to the field, and your gaze lands on your beloved player.
Ironically, an actual grin forms on your lips. He’s pretty, with dark hair and tan skin, one of few guys to pull of full baseball attire. You can barely see his face, given his helmet, but every-time there’s a closeup shot on the big screen, you take your time admiring his features.
Arthur seems to notice the look on your face, and nudges your shoulder. “Having fun?” he asks, with a wide, oblivious grin, and you just nod enthusiastically.
You snicker to yourself, just under your breath, as you both return your attention to the game. Your eyes narrow with focus as you watch Jay ready up.
The ball is thrown, and he readjusts his grip on his bat, whacking it with immense force when it comes his way. The crowd roars, and the commentators burst into chaotic rants, all the while, the ball is hurdling towards the crowd.
Fortunately, no one is pummeled with it. In fact, by the time it comes falling, it lands on the ground below you. Interesting.
You lean down, rather enthusiastically, to grab the ball, just for a bigger hand to come down and snatch it. Your date. Arthur.
He fucking pelts the ball back onto the field, and you look up with a shocked, betrayed expression.
“What the fuck?!” You snap at him, and even some of the attendees around you both confront him for his behavior. You’re sure they’re not worried about you, so much as the possibility that they could have gotten their hands on the ball, but at least you aren’t the only one mad.
“What?” Arthur bites back, oblivious as ever, as he plops back down into his seat, his shoulder shoving against yours.
There goes your mood.
Even focusing back on Jay doesn’t seem to fix it, thanks to the douche canoe to your left.
What you missed, though, was the look of shock on Jay’s face. Not only is he too far away for you to make out any facial expressions, you were too busy glaring down your stupid date to see the way he scowled.
He hadn’t meant for the ball to go into the crowd, but the last thing he’d ever be is opposed to someone getting to take home such a souvenir, whether they’re into baseball or not.
And even if you had no interest in the game, your growing interest in Jay was enough to make that instance rather upsetting. Maybe you’d have gotten into baseball just to spite your date, become one of those “fangirls” he seems to hate so much.
Anyways, the game drags on for what feels like forever, and maybe it’s because you’re fuming, or maybe it really is just that long of a play.
Either way, by the time it’s over, your ass hurts, your thighs are stuck to the seat, and you’ve never been so eager to get home and take a shower.
Arthur is giving you the cold shoulder, it seems, as you’re getting up to leave. He’s got a set look of disinterest on his face, like you’d done him wrong.
You roll your eyes as you grab your bag, and any trash that Arthur seemed to have no plans on picking up. As you’re on your way to the stairs, to leave the stands, you hear yelling.
“Hey, miss!” Calls a voice, just loud enough to catch your attention. You look back, and there’s Park fucking Jongseong holding a ball, smiling at you.
You shove the trash into Arthurs’ hands, because of course his nosy ass turned around too, and walk towards the edge of the stands.
Jay tosses the ball up, and it lands perfectly in your hands. His signature is on it, accompanied by some smudges of dirt, a bit of beating from the bat, it seems, like he’d gone and retrieved the ball your date tossed— oh my god.
He did!
Your eyes light up as you look back at Jay, and he gives a kind wave, before he turns on his heel, walking back across the field.
Your heart flutters, and you feel ridiculous for it, but fuck if that didn’t make you feel more than Arthur ever had.
“Stupid fucking game,” Arthur mutters, and kicks one of the stairs before stomping up them like a damn toddler.
Yet, your mood has been repaired once again, by Jay…again. With a small smile, you clutch the ball and start up the stairs.
That smile fades though, when a mob of people are rushing your way. Men and women alike, as if they’re hunting you—or, more accurately, the ball in your hands—down. A look of horror flashes across your face as you start to back up, towards the barricade of the grand stands, because you’ll be damned if they take the one good thing that’s come out of today from you.
Alas, you’re one woman, against a hoard of lord knows how many feral baseball fans.
Meanwhile, on the field, Jay looks over his shoulder, his eyes widening at the sight. He curses under his breath, because he should have known better.
Jay doesn’t get a chance to act, though.
Not before screams of horror ripple through the stands. Not before chairs are ripped out of the concrete, thrown around haphazardly.
Distracted by the sudden, unknown threat, the ball is pried from your hands. The man who got it yells in exclamation, triumph, but then, a clawed, alien-like hand suddenly plucks him up like he’s nothing.
The ball drops, and rather than worrying about the very obvious danger directly ahead of you, you reach down, snatch the ball, and look up just in time to witness the man being thrown across the stands, at least fifty feet by this…creature.
Its four legs make up almost all of its body, its face opens like the ugliest flower you’ve ever seen, decorated with rows of sharp, slimy teeth. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen, and you’re paralyzed with fear.
That is, until you’re grabbed by the arm, and suddenly dragged away, to a hidden exit that must have been blocked off from those in the stands.
As you barely grasp what’s going on, you realize that Jay is the one guiding you to what you hope is some form of safety. You clutch the ball in your hands like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded—which, it kind of is—and Jay leads you to the dugout.
It feels exposed, but when he drags you into a corner and has you crouch down with him, it’s not so bad. Well, safe from the echoing screams and chaos happening in the stands.
When you open your mouth to talk, eyes watery and blown with fear, Jay shakes his head vigorously, putting a finger to his lips, then yours. He nods his head towards the stands above, trying to silently communicate with you.
Your brows furrow with confusion, and Jay leans in.
“Sound. Notice how that…thing attacked the guy because he was yelling, making a lot of noise? We need to be quiet.” Jay explains, his voice smooth, unwavering, despite the scenario.
He takes a good look at you, and not for the same reason he looked back earlier—because he was hoping to catch another glimpse of the pretty girl who got the ball— but rather to make sure you’re unharmed. His hands linger on your arms, and his eyes are warm, caring, as he examines you.
He sees that you’re white-knuckling the ball, and can’t help but grin just a little. That’s cute.
He lays a hand over yours, meeting your gaze as he reassuringly squeezes your hand. As if to tell you “it’s okay” with the gentle touch.
Thunder suddenly booms in the distance, and when you flinch, Jay gently draws you into his embrace. While he’s not one to be so bold, for various reasons, he sees no reason to not comfort you right now.
The chaos seems to quiet, just in time for rain to begin pouring down from the sky above. Its sound is emphasized by the tin roof of the dugout, but the white noise is much nicer than the sound of people being mauled.
Jay sighs, his hand firm on your back, his head rested against yours. “So…your date didn’t seem like a great guy,” he says lowly, just loud enough for you to hear over the rain.
“I…yeah,” you laugh faintly, shaking your head as you look down at the signed ball in your grasp, rolling it between your hands.
“Thank you,” you say a moment later, lifting the ball, then nodding towards the stands, referring to when he practically saved your life.
He shakes his head dismissively, offering a reassuring smile. “It was the right thing to do, but you’re welcome.” He muses.
Before you can say anything else, a loud clanging sound makes both of you silent in an instant, your bodies tensing next to one another’s.
Thunder claps again, closer now, and you let out a soft breath as it seems you’re spared from whatever the fuck that first clanging sound was from.
You sink to the ground, looking out at the field, void of life, dimmed under the now gloomy sky. You carefully pull your phone out of your bag, put it on silent, and your eyes widen when an alert appears on your screen, issuing a state of emergency in the city of Seattle.
It’s not surprising, per se, but the realization that this threat is clearly looming, and larger than you had hoped becomes very prominent. Your throat tightens with worry, and your eyes sting again with tears.
Jay puts his hand on your arm, bringing you back to the moment, out of your spiraling thoughts.
“We’re safe,” he says under his breath, reassuringly, with a short, firm nod.
You let yourself believe it, even if it’s untrue. With a small nod of your own, you shove your phone back into your bag, opting to continue holding the baseball for dear life.
Jay sighs, then slowly stands up. Your eyes widen with fear, and you reach out to grab his hand, shaking your head, eyes pleading with him not to do anything risky.
“I have to check,” He mouths, gently prying his hand out of your grasp. Despite the look of worry on your face, he slowly walks out onto the field, turning to scan the stands.
While there seems to be no more of the creatures, the aftermath is equally as horrific. The blood, the destruction, the mutilated bodies and forgotten items. He swallows thickly, then walks back towards the dug out, now damp from the rain.
He reaches out to grab your hand, gently pulling you to your feet. “I need you to trust me,” he mutters, and you just nod, drawing in a breath when he gently covers your eyes with his hand.
He guides you across what you assume is the field, to an exit. Regardless of if you could handle it or not, he knows there’s no reason to let you witness the horror that lingers in the stands.
“I have an uh…an apartment,” Jay murmurs in your ear, finally letting his hand down. “It’s not far. We’ll walk there, and if we can get in, we’ll stay there tonight, okay?” He explains.
“I…are you sure? I mean, what if—“
“Hey. If I thought it would be unsafe, I wouldn’t do it. Okay? I got you,” he promises, raising a brow sternly.
With a slow nod of acceptance from you, he guides you out of the stadium, down the barren streets of Seattle. There’s no traffic or laughter, no signs of life. Everyone’s retreated, or worse, you assume.
“It’s raining. Hard. It’ll drown out any sounds we make. It’s okay.”
Jay’s voice is firm, promising, as you stand in his apartment, fingers shaking as they still hold the ball. He walks towards you and gently peels the ball from your hand, setting it on the counter.
He then takes your purse, sets it down next to the ball.
“Let’s get you dry,” He says, guiding you to sit down on the couch, before he walks away for a few moments, returning with a towel to wrap around your shoulders, since the rain drenched both of you the whole walk back to the apartment.
“Thank you, Jay,” you muse, looking up at him. He smiles, nodding in response.
“I never caught your name,” He says, a small, almost embarrassed laugh leaving his lips. How could he have forgotten to ask? Where are his manners?
Fortunately for him, you giggle. “Y/N.”
He nods, repeating it under his breath.
“Well, Y/N,” He hums, “It’s my pleasure to have you,” he says, then gestures to the apartment for some unknown reason, like he wanted to clarify his intentions.
He wanted to clarify his intentions.
A grin forms on your lips, but you decide you won’t pry into what exactly he meant by that. Instead, you watch as he walks into his kitchen.
“Have you eaten?” He asks, glancing at you, humming when you shake your head. He rummages carefully through his cupboards, because god forbid he were to somehow make too much noise, despite the pouring rain outside.
He pulls out ramen cups, turning to you. He opens his mouth to ask if you’re okay with that, but you’re nodding before he can.
He just smiles to himself, and carries on. He fills the cups with water, sets them in the microwave, then walks into his bedroom. When he comes out, he’s changed into a black t-shirt and jeans, having cleaned off any dirt left on his skin from the field.
God, he’s hot. Like, seriously hot. You thought, when you were in the stands, that maybe it was just because you were sat so far away, but if anything, he’s more attractive up close.
“Look, if you’d like, you can borrow any of my clothes, or I can wash yours— or, hell, i’m sure we can find somewhere to get you new ones, but my point here is that I want you to be comfortable, so…make yourself at home, yeah? Just let me know if you need anything, or if there’s anything i can do.” He explains.
There it is again.
Your heart flutters. He’s so pretty, so kind, and his voice is so smooth and sincere—
You force a nod, sighing shakily as you look back towards the big window, overlooking the city. It’s emptier than ever, rain blurring the view through the glass.
You can hear Jay moving around in the kitchen. Carefully opening the microwave, pulling the ramen cups out, taking his time to stir them up.
You look over your shoulder, and decide to get up, walking towards the kitchen counter, bar stools tucked beneath the side that faces the living room.
You sit down, and Jay slides one cup towards you, along with chopsticks, before he digs into his, and makes a dramatic gesture, waving his hand in front of his mouth.
“It’s hot.” He says, making you giggle, and you quickly realize it wasn’t actually hot. Not hot enough to burn, and especially not with the way he blew on the noodles before eating them.
He just wanted to make you smile.
Your heart clenches this time. It doesn’t flutter, but squeezes. It’s painful yet welcome, and you quietly begin to eat the ramen. Which, given the fact that you don’t remember when you last ate, is some of the best ramen you think you’ve ever had.
You both eat in comfortable silence, Jay humming quietly here and there.
You don’t miss the way his brows move as he chews. A little quirk you don’t think you’ve noticed on anyone else. It’s cute.
Your eyes scan the kitchen counters. Safe from a plate and a few utensils in the sink, it’s clean, likely because he’s never at home enough to gather clutter, you assume. He seems like that kind of guy, but you could be wrong. Maybe he’s just a minimalist.
“So, what was the deal with your date?” Jay suddenly asks, as he leans his hip against the counter, glancing at you curiously.
“Uh…” you pause, stirring the noodles in the cup, watching idly. “He was my date,” you say with reluctance. Wasn’t much of a date at all, really.
“Oh?” Jay chirps, taking another bite of his ramen. “Like, first date or boyfriend-date or…?”
“It was our second date, actually,” You huff out a quiet, embarrassed laugh. “I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t really into him, but he seemed so excited about the baseball tickets. Didn’t want to disappoint, you know?”
Jay hums in acknowledgement, tilting this head thoughtfully. “That’s nice of you,” He muses.
A moment of silence passes. Both of you take another bite of your ramen.
“Excuse my language, but he seemed like an ass, respectfully,” Jay then says, making you pause.
Then, you grin. “He was an ass. One hundred and ten percent an ass,” You confirm.
“Sorry you had to sit through two dates with him, then,” Jay muses, and you both share a laugh at the notion.
As you’re finishing your ramen, a certain sweet treat catches your eye — Nutella.
Jay follows your gaze, his grin widening. “You want some?” He asks, and you nod slowly.
So, when you both wrap up with the ramen, he takes care of the trash and dishes, then sets the Nutella on the counter while he grabs a slice of bread, putting it in what looks to be all too fancy of a toaster.
“Can I have a spoon?” you ask, and Jay gives one to you mindlessly, too focused on the task at hand.
In fact, he’s sliding a piece of Nutella covered toast to you before he even notices that you’ve got a spoonful in your mouth.
He breaks into a shocked laugh, then shakes his head once. “Alright, fuck it,” the grabs another spoon, then scoops up a big glob of Nutella, before he shoves it into his mouth.
As he works his way through the thick substance, he grimaces slightly.
“So much chocolate,” He says through the Nutella in his mouth, making you both burst into a fit of giggles.
Once he recovers, he rinses off both spoons, smiling to himself when you go in for the toast. Then, he grabs a glass, fills it with water, and sets it in front of you, tending to you like it’s as natural as ever.
And honestly, it feels natural to you. You feel incredibly at home, despite being in such an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar company.
Later that night, Jay had given you the choice to take his bed, or sleep on the couch, whichever made you more comfortable.
Reluctantly, you accepted his bed, with some persuasion on his part.
So, now you’re in his bed, alone, in the dark. The rain is still going, but quieter now, more of a drizzle.
Your mind wanders back to earlier, the scene that unfolded in the stands, the fact that your date ditched you. You briefly wonder what happened to him, if he’s okay, and decide it’s not worth worrying over. There’s nothing you could do, anyways, and he clearly didn’t care what happened to you.
You sigh, a heavy, much needed sigh. Rolling over, you catch a whiff of Jay. That woodsy, warm scent, clearly remnants of his cologne in the bed, wrapped up in the sheets, lingering on the pillow that you can only assume he uses regularly.
Suddenly, being without him feels suffocating.
And, yes, that’s insane.
You just met the fucking guy.
You spend a good ten minutes warring with yourself. Maybe it’s just the situation. You’re scared and uncertain, so you’re clinging to something that’s not real.
Or maybe there is a genuine connection. Maybe he feels it too. Maybe he’s having the same thoughts as you.
You blink at the ceiling, then get up. You walk quietly to the door, open it gently, and move in the same cautious manner down the little halfway to the living room.
He’s sprawled across the couch, but it doesn’t seem he’s asleep. There’s a news channel playing on the TV, playing videos taken by those who were able to catch the creatures invading on film.
They’ve decided to dub them “Death Angels.”
You swallow at the reality of the situation as it weighs down on you once again. Then, you speak lowly.
“Jay?”
His head whips around, and he gazes at you from the couch. “Y/N,” he muses. “What’s wrong?” He asks, brows furrowed with concern as he sits up, gesturing for you to come closer.
You walk towards the couch, arms wrapped around yourself in a sheepish manner.
“I don’t…want to be alone,” You murmur, avoiding his gaze, even as it gently caresses your form, with not even a hint of judgement.
“Okay,” he speaks softly, “Then you won’t be.”
It’s simple and sincere. He gestures again, beckoning you to join him on the couch. When you sit down, he drapes a blanket over you, then leans back, letting out a breath before he talks.
“There’s boats. At Alki beach.”
He stares at the TV, gnawing at his inner cheek. “Cars are too loud, when the streets are quiet, so we’d have to walk, but…but it would only be a few days,” He explains, sighing quietly. “It’s not safe to stay here, and even if we wanted to, evacuation is mandatory,” Jay continues.
“…Why are you helping me?” You ask suddenly, making Jay’s brows knit together.
“Why would I not?”
“I don’t know, it just seems…” You trail off. The only thing it seems is incredibly generous, which you’ve gathered that he seems to be exactly that, and genuinely so.
“I’m helping you because it’s the right thing to do.”
You blink, then smile slightly. “You said the same thing when I thanked you earlier. It’s okay to give yourself some credit, you know?”
“Sure, but I don’t need it. Not when i’m doing the bare minimum,” he shrugs, glancing at you, then back at the TV.
He’s so…different.
He doesn’t expect praise. He doesn’t expect anything at all, actually. He’s been nothing but kind, and for no reason other than it’s what he feels is right.
“It’s not the bare minimum. Bare minimum would be wishing me luck and sending me on my way, but you let me into your home, you fed me, you gave up your bed, and now you’re…if i’m not misunderstanding, you’re offering to let me go with you.”
“Not let you go with me,” He corrects, “Take you with me. There’s a difference.”
“And that difference is…?”
“Letting you go with me makes it sound like i’m reluctant. Taking you with me means i’m responsible for it. I’d like you to come with me — I’d like to know you get there safely, if you’ll let me do that.”
You’re completely, wholly taken aback, because who is this man and who raised him to be this giving?
“I’d let you do anything to me, at this rate.” You say without giving it a second thought.
He’s still for a moment, then laughs. It’s short and bashful, and he shakes his head slightly, a grin lingering on his lips.
“Alright.” He says simply, nodding once, as if to confirm that you’ll go with him, to the beach, to the boats. To safety. Real safety.
As you both sit in silence—he muted the TV, since the rain was beginning to die down, and he didn’t want to risk anything—tiredness finally washes over you.
Your head droops, and the last thing you remember, before falling asleep, is a warm hand guiding your head to a resting place.
Jay, putting your head on his shoulder.
DAY ONE:
It’s like the universe knows what chaos is going on.
The sun isn’t out, when you and Jay leave his apartment, to start your venture to the beach. It’s gloomy again—not raining, not yet—and the weather is noticeably colder than you recall it being during the game.
Jay’s estimate was that it would take three days at the least to reach the beach, a week at most.
He planned stops, hotels or rest spots, places to look for food. You’d honestly been a bit impressed by it, how put together his plan seemed.
The streets are crowded. Thickly so. It seems some learned the hard way, that cars or other vehicles would be too loud, given the flipped over automobiles, windows busted out, and what you don’t want to believe is unfortunate souls sprawled across the asphalt.
You grip the baseball between your hands, brows knit together as you walk alongside Jay.
You’ve never been in such a big, yet quiet crowd. Everyone’s footsteps are cautious and calculated, slow and measured.
You look down at the ground as you walk, avoiding glass or leaves, anything that might make too much noise if you were to unintentionally step on it.
Jay has a firm grip on your arm, guiding you forward. He seems almost…angry. You’re pretty sure you’re misreading it, but maybe he’s frustrated at how slow paced this whole thing is.
I mean, you can look over your shoulder and see his apartment, when you’ve been walking for nearly half an hour now.
You glance up at the gloomy sky, then back down to the pavement below your feet.
Suddenly, you walk into another person, who had just come to a full stop in front of you. They make a noise, a loud, scoff-like sound, as if they hadn’t just stopped for no reason.
Jays eyes widen, and he grips you even tighter, suddenly dragging you away from the crowd. You follow him, tripping over yourself as he yanks you into a pharmacy. He pushes you down, crouches next to you.
He folds himself over you, guarding you, like a human shield.
Then, you hear it.
The screams, the chaos, the vile sounds of people being torn apart.
Jay suddenly stands, grabs you again, and yanks you up roughly. He drags you through the store, behind the checkout counter, and into what seems to be a break room, where he shuts the door.
He lets go of you, grabs a chair that he carefully places under the doorknob, to act as a stopper.
Your heart is racing in your chest, and you slowly sink down to the floor, hands shaking around the ball in your hands, as your breathing becomes uneven.
While the sounds are muffled, you can still hear the horrific noise. The windows of the pharmacy sound as if they’re broken, and then comes that high-pitched shrieking sound you had heard in the stands yesterday.
Jay turns to see you, shaking and scared. He rushes to you, and wraps his arms around you, sitting down next to you.
It’s exactly how he held you in the Dugout.
This time, though, you curl into him, opting to hold the ball with one hand, so you can wrap your arms around him, and bury your face into his chest, like it’ll save you from whatever is coming your way.
Jay rests one hand on your back, and the other lands on the back of your head, where he strokes your hair.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, so quiet that you barely hear it. “We’re okay.”
You nod, almost frantically, clinging to his words exactly as you’re clinging to him.
Jay holds you until the noise quiets, and waits until you seem to relax even a little, before he loosens his hold.
He doesn’t let go yet, though. He gently tilts your head back, caressing your cheek with his hand.
“You okay?” He murmurs, and you nod slowly. “Good,” he whispers, his eyes fixed on yours.
You swear he glances at your lips.
Then, he releases, with a subtle gulp, and carefully stands up. He examines the room around you both, then takes off his backpack, stalks over to a case of water bottles.
He unzips his bag, cautious and slow, before he begins loading it with water. Even if food is harder to get—given that there’s a vending machine right next to the water, of which would be entirely too loud to actually retrieve anything from—water is a non negotiable.
He tests the weight of his bag, then puts a few more bottles in it, and counts quietly. With a small, subconscious nod, he zips his bag up, and stands, putting it back over his shoulders.
You watch as he walks to the door, carefully removing the chair. It reminds you of when he had to leave the dugout to check the stands.
When he looks over his shoulder at you, and sees the worry on your face, he sighs quietly.
Jay walks towards you, crouches in front of you, and gently cups your face, tilting your head up.
“They can’t see. They rely on echolocation. As long as we’re quiet, we’re safe, okay?” He assures you in a low tone.
“And if we want to make any progress, we have to keep moving. I know it’s scary, but we’re gonna make it.” He promises.
You nod, lifting your hands to gently grasp his, where they rest on your cheeks.
Again, you swear he looks at your lips.
Then, he leans in, and your heart jumps several beats.
Instead of what you’d been expecting, though, he kisses your forehead, then stands up, offering his hand to you.
You blink, unsure of whether to be disappointed that it wasn’t your lips, or grateful that he kissed you at all.
That is, until you remember you just met the man, and internally scold yourself for being so entranced by him.
You take his hand, allowing him to guide you back to your feet.
Then, he does what he did when he lead you out of the field.
He covers your eyes for upwards of ten minutes, carefully guiding you forward. You’re assuming it’s not good, given that there seems to be hardly any crowding on the street now.
When he uncovers your eyes, his hand drops down to lace with yours, holding it firmly.
Then, you realize that you’re missing something that’s come to be rather important to you. The ball.
“My ball,” You say suddenly, brows furrowed as you look up at Jay.
His eyes widen as his hand flies up to cover your lips, and he looks at you with an expression that reads “Are you crazy?”
You press your lips together beneath his hand, guilt and fear clawing up your throat. How could you forget such a serious rule as to not speak, over a damn ball?
Jay looks around with sharp eyes, before he sighs, moving his hand to press his finger against his lips as a reminder for you to not talk.
He gently pulls you forward, and your heart sinks as you realize there will be no going back for it. You still aren’t sure why it means so much to you, but you do know that you’re dreading leaving it behind. So much so that each step forward feels near impossible.
Your eyes begin to water, against your will, but before any tears fall, Jay suddenly stops. He huffs under his breath, like he’s irritated, but not quite at the end of his fuse.
He lets go of your hand, carefully removes his backpack, and unzips it with even more caution than he had done in the break room.
You watch with furrowed brows, lifting your hands to wipe your wet eyes.
And, there it is. The ball. It sits on top of the water bottles, clearly retrieved by Jay, perhaps after he’d kissed your forehead.
You let go of it to reach up and cup his hands, you now remember.
You let out a careful breath of relief, gently taking the ball as he hands it to you.
You examine it for a moment, nodding reassuringly to yourself as you brush your thumb over the signature, which is slightly worn from how much you’d fidgeted with the ball since you got it.
Then, you cautiously leap forward, throwing your arms around Jay’s shoulders, hugging him tightly.
He’s tense at first, but he relaxes slowly, wrapping his arms just as tightly around you. He rubs your back, and his heart clenches when he hears your muffled cries against his jacket.
He caresses the back of your head, a silent reminder that it’s okay. He doesn’t let go until you do.
While you calm down, and wipe away the rest of your tears, Jay puts his backpack back on, and takes your hand, guiding you forward once more.
His expression is set in this stern, almost determined look, and for a moment, you feel guilty.
You were this close to throwing a fit over a ball. A baseball— you don’t even like baseball.
Swallowing, you look up at Jay, taking in his features. His jaw is clenched, his eyes are narrowed with focus, his nostrils flared slightly.
You look back ahead, trying to imagine where you’d be if it weren’t for Jay.
You aren’t sure you want to know how that would have gone. So, you don’t bother dwelling on it.
All you know is that you’re immensely grateful for him, and hurdling towards head over heels, too.
DAY TWO:
Safe from the incident in the morning, your first day of traveling through the city went smoothly.
You spent most of the walk in silence, both of you focused on simply making it to your next resting spot, which was a rather nice hotel, safe from the way it was ransacked.
No one was behind the front desk, which didn’t necessarily come as a surprise, which is why Jay took it upon himself to find a random room key.
Once in the room, you both sat down, drank water (which Jay also refilled the bottles while you were there), and talked quietly, sat across from one another on the couch.
Jay asked about your date again, and you gave him a pretty lengthy rundown. You met on a dating app, you reluctantly explained, along with the fact that you’d jumped from app to app, trying to form any sort of connection with any one.
Alas, men suck. You stated that proudly, perhaps a test of Jay’s character, as men you avoid tend to get offended about such a statement.
He laughed, though. He agreed, too, that a lot of guys do, in fact, suck.
Your little story time about Arthur also led to exposing your lack of knowledge about baseball.
So, then it was Jay’s turn to talk.
He explained his position as third baseman, how he bats fourth, brings in the runners. He grew up with baseball, and when his parents let him try it as an after school activity, it became clear that he had quite the talent for it.
You paid attention to his words, but found that you focused more on his voice, the warmth laced in his words, how gently he spoke to you. You were well aware that was mostly due to the circumstance, but a part of you wanted to believe it was just for you, and whatever bond you both now share.
You also watched closely, his facial expressions. The way his lips moved, how soft they looked, the way his brows twitched, the way he’d run his hand through his hair every few sentences, fidgeting with the strands.
He’s good at hiding stress, you’d learned, but you’re slowly catching onto his giveaways.
Right now, you can see it clear as day. His jaw is set, clenched firmly, his brows are ever so slightly furrowed, and he’s white knuckling the strap of his backpack as you guys walk slowly through a less rundown part of the city. You’ve made it to the outskirts, now, the stores smaller and closer together.
The skies above, as they have been since this whole thing started, are dark. The air is cool, cooler than it was yesterday, kissing your skin with cold breezes that come and go.
For some reason, when you look at Jay, his clear state of stress makes your heart a little heavier, your chest tight. You roll your beloved baseball in your hands, the signature on it worn down more with each passing hour of you rubbing your thumb over it.
Suddenly, a cold droplet lands on your forearm. You look up, another drop landing on your cheek this time. Jay looks up, too, sighing quietly.
He reaches for your arm, gently tugging you closer to the buildings, using the awnings to shield you both from the rain as it comes down heavier and heavier.
You subconsciously lean into him, but he drops his hand, lets go of you. You glance up at him, his expression unchanging.
A frown forms on your lips as a result, and you squeeze the ball a little tighter as you keep walking.
“Are you mad at me?” You ask, and Jay whips his head towards you, giving you that look again. The “are you crazy?” look.
“It’s raining,” you say, lower this time, “I thought you said the rain makes it hard for them to hear us?”
“It does, but—“ Jay shakes his head, walking a little faster. “I don’t want to risk anything.”
His tone is firm, like that’s it. No arguing. No talking at all, actually.
It’s like the Jay you had just started getting used to disappeared, replaced with this less gentle version of him.
Maybe he’s tired.
Maybe the stress is getting to him.
Maybe he’s just scared, too.
Those are just a few of the excuses you make, trying to cope with the growing fear that the connection you thought you’d made with him was fake.
It’s not like his embrace made you feel safe, or his voice sounded like music, or that his presence felt oddly homey…or anything. Definitely not.
The rain persists. You and Jay keep walking, not a word spoken for the following hours.
Jay slows as you guys come upon a convenience store. You look at him, waiting for some sort of anything that gives way to his thoughts, but he just continues walking, heading towards the entrance of the store.
Despite your growing worry, you follow him. He turns to you, at last, and gestures to the food, before he walks towards said isles. You walk behind him at first, but as you scan the store, you decide that maybe, just maybe, he needs space.
Maybe that’s what it is.
So, you turn in the opposite direction.
It’s a convenience store you’ve never been in, but comparable to maybe a Walgreens, or CVS, one of those stores that has a little bit of everything you might need on a whim.
As you venture on your own, carefully up and down the isles, you stumble upon box of stuffed animals, and maybe it’s childish, but for whatever reason, you feel the urge to see what’s in said box.
On the surface, there’s an oversized teddy bear, a green and black snake, a pastel, multicolor cat, and just when you’re grabbing the pastel cat, you spot something else that draws your attention.
A black cat with golden eyes. You pick up the plushie, a small smile on your lips. It looks like Jay— but then your smile drops, when you remember how he’s been acting.
Yet, you keep hold of the stuffed animal, tucking it under your arm, holding the baseball that you still refuse to let go of.
Continuing to make your way through the isles, you clutch the stuffed animal like it’s a lifeline. Once again, you wonder what’s got you so goddamn attached to Jay.
It’s not like he’s done anything incredibly out of the ordinary…but then you recall what you said to him.
“The bare minimum would have been wishing me luck and sending me on my way.”
Yet, he’s done so much more than that. He’s comforted you, he’s fed you, kept you safe—
Then comes, once more, the wondering what would have happened if it weren’t for him. It’s not that you don’t think you’re capable of doing this on your own; if you had to, you would, but he’s made it so much easier for you.
Does he think you’re a burden?
You swallow, your eyes watering in an instant, because god fucking forbid that’s the case.
You realize now, that the reason you’re attached to him doesn’t fucking matter, but you don’t want to lose him. Not after all this.
Just when a tear slips down your cheek, a firm hand grabs your arm, startling you. You whip your head around, eyes wide, blown with fear.
It’s Jay, and he looks pissed, but more than that, scared. He looks you up and down, like he did in the dugout, but with a sense of urgency unlike before.
Like he needs to know, for certain, that you’re safe.
Just as he noticed the ball, the first time, he now notices the black cat tucked into your side. If he wasn’t so worried, he’d have smiled, but he does have an inward reaction. His heart clenches, fondly so.
He loosens his grip on your arm, but doesn’t let go. He lets out a breath, a sigh of relief, you think.
“Jay?” You whisper, scared that he’ll give you that look again, scared that he might, for some reason, shove you away.
Instead, he lifts his hand, and wipes your tear. “Why are you crying?” He whispers, brows furrowing like your pain is his own.
“I…I don’t know,” you shake your head dismissively, and instead of prying, he just nods, rubbing his thumb over your skin.
You swallow, feeling your eyes burn in response to how intense his gaze is, the tenderness in which he caresses your skin.
“Did I do something?” you choke out.
“What?” His brows furrow closer together, confusion spreading across his expression.
“You’ve been so…off today.” You murmur, “and I— I don’t know why, or if i’m overreacting.”
He blinks, lips parting as if to speak, before he closes his mouth, clenching his jaw like he always does.
“I just…i’m just worried.” He mutters. “Everything seems too calm, today, and it’s like…like i’m just waiting for the ball to drop. Maybe that’s pessimistic of me, but I can’t let my guard down.”
Your heart sinks. He is scared.
You lift your free hand, mirroring the way he’s caressing your cheek, and you shake your head slightly. “Pessimistic or not, it’s understandable,” You murmur.
He nods slightly, jaw clenching tighter as he ever so slightly nudges his head against your hand.
He steps closer, reaches for your waist with his free hand, and moves his hand down to the side of your neck. “I was worried something happened to you, and I somehow didn’t know. I’d…never have forgiven myself,” he whispers, so close that you can feel his breath on your lips.
“I thought you wanted space,” you muse honestly, and he shakes his head immediately.
“I want you by my side. At all times. I need to know you’re safe.”
You nod slowly, your heart swelling as he leans in, his nose brushing yours.
Before he can say anything else, you step closer and press your lips against his in a soft, careful kiss.
The rain seems to pour twice as heavy in an instant, and the sound fades into nothing as he devours your mouth with his own, yet remains tender as he kisses you back.
Your hand shifts to the back of his neck, and you hold him there, soaking up the kiss for every ounce of what it’s worth.
In this moment, you feel unlike yourself, in the best way. It’s an out of body experience, warm and tingly, making your heart race in a way that reminds you that you’re alive, rather than makes you anxious.
When he pulls back, and you begin to trail kisses down his cheek, towards his jaw, he shakes his head slightly, letting out a breath as he guides you back.
“Not like this. Not here,” he whispers, giving your cheek one more affectionate caress, before he releases you.
Despite your disdain, regarding the end of that moment, you nod slowly.
“…Did you get food?” You murmur, and Jay nods, gesturing to his backpack.
“I see you got your necessities too?” He gestures to the stuffed animal, finally allowing himself to smile about it.
You nod, glancing down at the items in your grasp. Mirrors of him, really, in rather odd ways.
“Good.” He nods, then puts a hand on your back, gently guiding you out of the store.
“We’re close.” Jay says quietly, as unlocks the hotel room door, holding it open for you.
“To the beach?” You ask, looking over your shoulder at him, as he shuts and locks the door, nodding in response.
“Yeah. I think we can make it by sunset tomorrow, if we leave early enough,” he muses, as he takes his backpack off, sets it on the desk next to the ball and your new stuffed animal.
You sigh quietly, staring at him from your place on the bed, as he pulls out two water bottles, and the same ramen cups that you had at his apartment.
He walks to the kitchen area, and carefully searches for a pot, which he places with extreme caution on the electric stove. He adds water, turns on the heat, then turns to you.
“Do you think the shower would be too loud?” You ask suddenly, gazing at him, and he shakes his head.
“It’s still raining,” He comments idly, reassuringly.
So, you get up and head into the bathroom, shutting the door carefully. You take your time, carefully pulling out towels, discarding your clothes.
Then, you get in the shower, for the first time in several days, washing the grime off of your skin. You choose not to think about having to put your dirty clothes back on, in favor of savoring the warm water, the feeling of getting clean.
Meanwhile, Jay remains in the kitchen, quietly cooking the ramen. He smiles to himself as he looks across the room, gazing at the stuffed animal he found you with.
Black, short fur, golden eyes, long whiskers. It’s cute, and what’s even cuter is the fact that you decided you had to have it.
His eyes flick to the ball, and he hums quietly to himself, then walks towards the desk, where he picks it up. It’s grown a bit dirty, and the signature is worn. He raises a brow, then turns to his backpack.
With the ball in one hand, he unzips the front pocket of his bag, and digs around, nodding affirmatively to himself when he finds what he was hoping for.
A sharpie.
He pulls the cap off and carefully traces his signature, then just for you, adds a little cat face, with a heart on the nose.
He sets the ball back down, then puts the sharpie away, before he returns to the stove, carefully stirring the noodles.
Just when he’s finishing up with the ramen, he hears the shower turn off. He grabs bowls, carefully separating the noodles into the two dishes.
He looks up when he hears the bathroom door open, and his eyes widen when he sees you, standing in nothing but a towel wrapped around your body.
He blinks a few times, the swallows, shifting his focus. “I should have grabbed clothes for you at one of the stores, i’m sorry—“
You smile. Of course that’s his concern.
He stands still as you walk towards him, until you grab his hand, gently pulling him towards the bed.
“It’s fine,” you whisper, gently sliding your fingers into his hair. He grunts quietly, leaning into your touch, where he lets you guide him towards you, until your noses ghost against one another’s for the second time.
This time, though, he kisses you, not the other way around.
You sigh into the kiss, shuddering as his hands find your arms, cautious of the fact that you’re naked, safe from the towel.
Then, you drop it.
His hands pause when he hears the fabric his the floor, and he slowly pulls back, but his eyes stay on yours.
“Jay,” you murmur, “Can you stop trying to be respectful for once?” You laugh quietly, and he manages a small, tight-lipped smile.
“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want,” he whispers, caressing your cheek. His hand slowly drifts down your neck, hovering over your collarbone.
“I want this. I want you. I’ll tell you to stop, if need be, I promise,” You murmur, and he nods his head slowly.
His hand drifts lower, and he drags his other hand upwards, letting them both find your breasts at the same time. His brows suddenly knit together, and his hands slide back down, his arms wrapping around your form.
“You’re cold,” he whispers with concern, and you huff quietly, sliding your arms around his shoulders, pressing yourself into his embrace.
“I’m okay, Jay,” you respond, gently gripping the fabric of his shirt. “And if you don’t do something, I promise the least of your issues will be my body temperature.”
He snickers, the sound low and amused, as he nods, rubbing your back. His hands slide lower, until he’s groping your ass, gently pushing you towards the bed with his body.
He got the memo. Good.
You lay down, and your eyes double in size when he suddenly sinks to his knees. He wraps his arms around your thighs, drags you towards the edge of the bed, and starts peppering kisses along your legs, from the side of your shins, up to your inner thighs.
“Is this okay?” he breathes into your skin, glancing up just long enough to see you nodding eagerly.
He presses a kiss to the mound of your cunt, then kisses your slit, before his tongue darts out, and in a smooth, warm stripe, licks between your folds, flicking over your clit.
You gasp, reaching down to tangle one hand in his hair, the other curling into the blanket beneath you. “Jay—“
He draws back, and spits directly onto your pussy, then buries his head between your thighs, spreading his saliva, adding to your already evident arousal.
“Jesus, you taste good,” he mutters against you, swirling his tongue around your clit, his tongue then dipping down to prod at your entrance.
You spare a look between your legs, and holy fuck—
His eyes are shut, brows taut with focus, and he’s practically making out with your sopping cunt, the mixture of his saliva and your arousal dripping down your ass.
He slides his mouth down, then suckles his way back up, suckling gently at your clit, then a little more greedily when a moan rips from your throat.
He shifts one hand from your thigh, and gently pushes his middle finger into your clenching hole, groaning at the way you’re starting to grind against his mouth and finger. He slides a second finger into you, gently thrusting them into your needy pussy, while he continues focusing on your clit with his tongue.
“Jay, fuck, baby— i’m—“
You whimper, and Jay’s fingers curl into the plump flesh of your thigh, an instinctive response to the sound, while he pushes you closer to a climax.
“Give it to me,” he almost growls against you, his voice rasped and muffled against your slick heat.
“Jay, Jay—“ You repeat his name like a mantra, voice breaking when you finally come undone, hips rolling forward involuntarily.
Jay guides you through your orgasm, his fingers and tongue working rhythmically to draw out the pleasure.
When he feels your hand pushing against his head, he draws back, but his eyes linger on your pulsing cunt, and he hums, slowly drawing his fingers out of you.
He huffs quietly, almost in awe, as your walls squeeze around his fingers, and gently pats your pussy, as if to soothe you, but the motion makes you jolt.
Your lips part, but you’re too fucked out to say anything yet.
Jay stands, then leans over you and kisses you softly, your essence lingering on his lips.
“Stay here,” he murmurs against your mouth, then turns around, and disappears into the bathroom. When he returns, he’s got a wash cloth, which seems to be damp, and he gently cleans between your legs in a way that’s borderline uncomfortable with how intimate it is, even if he was just tongue deep in your pussy.
He sets the rag on the edge of the bed, then reaches around your body as you sit up, to pull the comforter around you.
You slide your arms around his shoulders, though, and he laughs gently. “Baby, there’s food…that’s now cold,” he murmurs, kissing your shoulder.
“And?” you mumble, as you stroke his hair, burying your face against his shoulder, sighing into his shirt. He rubs your back, humming.
“I gotta make sure my girl is fed, yeah? So level with me, and let me get the food.”
Reluctantly, you release him, but not before stealing another kiss. He kisses you firmly, a promise to return, even if he’s not leaving your line of site.
He goes back to the stove, grabs the bowls, and dumps the contents back into the pot, turns on the heat.
“While we wait for that,” he says, voice gentle, he walks to his backpack, unzips it, and pulls out a small container.
Nutella.
DAY THREE:
You didn’t remember falling asleep.
In fact, the first thing you recalled when you woke up, was the fact that Jay had given you one of the best orgasms you’ve had in years.
Your cheeks warmed, your skin tingled like you could still physically feel the effects from what he’d done.
You were quick to realize his absence, though.
However, there was a reminder of his presence left in your arms. One you know you didn’t put there yourself.
The stuffed animal, tucked into your side.
Wrapping your head around the bits and pieces of context, like the idea of Jay choosing to tuck you in with your new plushie, you realized the shower was running.
You sat up, blinking tiredly as you pulled the comforter up to your chest, eyes fluttering shut as one hand rested on the toy next to you.
Then, you heard it. Or, him, more accurately.
A wet, repetitive sound. Gentle slaps, sharp breaths.
Your brows furrowed, and it hit you rather harsh, the realization. Jay was jerking off. In the shower.
You also realized in that moment that you had never returned the favor, after he ate you out, but he didn’t really give you the chance to.
You crawled out of bed and wandered closer to the bathroom, the sound becoming clearer with each step. You could hear it vividly, each stroke, each shake of his breath, meshed with the flowing water.
So, maybe you listened to the whole thing, until he let out a quiet, strangled noise, muffled by the shower stream. You gave it a few moments, then knocked on the door.
Meanwhile, in the shower, Jay nearly jumped out of his own skin. He hadn’t been bothered that you didn’t return the favor; he’s never been that kind of guy. That being said, that didn’t mean his dick wasn’t feeling neglected.
He’s a gentleman, though, and was driven by the very real image of you in bed, naked. He refused to let himself try to wake you, just to fuck you, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t imagine that pretty body of yours, right?
Anyways, he was startled. Like, seriously startled.
To be fair, he was just cumming to the thought of your noises and your delicious pussy—
“It’s unlocked.” He’d call, voice barely audible over the water. You spared a glance at the large window; the city is emptier than ever, and it’s raining. Again.
Jesus fucking christ. Sure, it’s typically pretty gloomy in Seattle, but raining for days straight?
You paid little to no mind to that, though, and instead pushed open the bathroom door.
“Sorry to bother,” you said, voice smooth, innocent like you hadn’t just heard some particularly lewd noises. “I uh…before we go, i’d just really like to brush my teeth.”
“Not a problem. Go for it.” Jay responded, voice thick, like he was caught.
He was.
You didn’t say that, though.
Instead, you helped yourself to the toothbrushes he snagged from the front area of the hotel, as they seemed to offer basic toiletries at the front desk.
When you reached for the handle, to turn on the water, you grinned.
“I don’t want to be too loud, or mess up your shower…can I just borrow some of your water?”
When you peaked in to wet your tooth brush, he stood, facing away from you. You were still naked, after all, and he didn’t find it exactly respectful to flaunt his slowly hardening—again—dick in your face first thing.
You held in a snicker, began brushing your teeth as you turned away from him.
Yes, you did want to brush your teeth, but more than that, you had to get a mental picture of him, post jack off.
After that unfortunate event (for him), you would get dressed, pack up, and head for what you hoped to be the final stretch of your journey to the beach, to your escape.
It had remained smooth sailing. That part was worrisome, for some reason.
With that in mind, you simply remained glad that you had made it this far.
You and Jay were walking in silence, as you’d done the last two days. It was peaceful, in an eerie way. The empty streets, the rain, the cool breezes, the quiet.
It all felt like the calm before a storm, like it was only a matter of time before the real thing showed up.
Today, you and Jay lingered a little closer to one another. His hand remained on your back, and you often found his fingers, lacing them with your own. Maybe, in some weird way, you guys had figured it out, how to cope with it all.
That being said, Jay had also seemed…tense. Again.
However, it became evident all too quickly that it was for a completely different reason this time.
Clearly, his shower session didn’t cut it.
You’re assuming so, given the very obvious hard-on that’s prominently pushing against his pants.
Poor guy.
You spare several glances, not concerned with subtlety at this point. You’re pretty sure he’s well aware that you knew what he was getting up to this morning, and regardless of that, you wouldn’t be opposed to him knowing that you’re hoping to feel more than just his fingers and tongue- amazing as they were.
Looking ahead, there’s a lingering smirk on your face, the knowledge of his not-so-little predicament bringing you some sort of twisted joy.
So, you decide to have fun with it.
First, you walked ever so slightly faster than him. Just enough to be in front of him. When you could feel his gaze—because it’s always intense, the way he watches your movements—you tug your shorts up, and definitely higher than necessary.
Jay notices. His eyes flick down to your hands as they hike the shorts up, and he swallows, taking in the way they hug your backside, the way he can just barely catch a glimpse of the crease where your ass meets your thighs.
He swallows. Thickly. His cock twitches in his pants, and he thinks back to last night, when he was groping handfuls of the plump flesh.
He doesn’t do anything though. Why would he? He’s a respectful, patient man, and he’s just trying to get the both of you to something that resembles even a little bit of safety.
Secondly, you walked ahead for sometime. Maybe half an hour, at most, just long enough to feel your shorts finally un-wedge themselves from between your ass cheeks.
You’re praying the wedgie was worth it.
You look up at the sky, dim, but not as gloomy as it has been. Then, you come to a sudden stop.
Behind you, Jay was busy averting his gaze from your backside, internally begging himself to get it the fuck together.
When he bumps into you, and you stumble forward slightly, not-so-accidentally dropping your stuffed animal, he blinks.
He presses his lips together in a firm, set line, and his eyes bulge when you lean down.
And third, you make a point to push back against him as you reach down to grab your beloved black cat plushie.
His breath hitches. His nostrils flare.
It’s taking every fiber of his being to not grab you by the hips and hump you like a fucking dog—
Then, you stand up and keep walking.
He’s going to lose his mind, he thinks.
By your fourth teasing advance, Jay caught onto your little game. His dick is throbbing in his pants, and he’s still thinking about your little acts, the way your ass felt against his dick, how all he could imagine was sliding his cock between your cheeks, dipping the head into your sopping cunt.
Fuck. The way you squeezed around his fingers.
An hour or so after that last incident, the rain starts. In this particular part of the city, there’s hardly any awnings for you to find purchase under, so, he pulls you into a random store, of which you find is an abandoned boutique.
You wander through the store while Jay pulls water bottles and snacks out of his bag, reorganizing some of the contents within his backpack.
He glances over his shoulder every now and again, watching the way you trace the details on some of the clothes.
“You should grab something, if you want it,” he comments idly, zipping up his backpack. He discretely reaches down to readjust his boner, eyes screwing shut.
You end up grabbing a sweater. It’s material is thin and soft, not too heavy, but enough that it’ll knock the chill of the occasional breezes as you and Jay walk through the city.
The clothing is cute, but not particularly practical for what you and Jay are doing, so you don’t bother with most of it.
When you return to Jay, he’s eating a protein bar, holding water in his other hand. You sit down in front of him, on your knees, and grin when he takes a sip of water, a droplet dribbling down his chin.
You smirk.
When you reach out to wipe it away, in a particularly promiscuous manner, he grabs your wrist.
“Stop.” He says firmly. “We are too fucking close to risk it, yeah? Just…wait.”
Theres an unspoken promise laced in his tone.
A promise to fuck you?
You fucking hope so, because the way he’s looking at you meshed with the sternness of his voice is incredibly arousing, and you’re still craving more from him after last night.
Nevertheless, you guys “refuel”, use the bathroom, then leave, walking through a lighter drizzle now that the rain has calmed.
It’s mid day, by now, you assume you haven’t had phone signal since the start of this mess, and your phones been dead since yesterday, anyways.
Another hour or so passes, before your next stop.
Jay gently grabs your hand, coming to his own stop, which makes you pause as well. He glances up at the label on a small building, the looks at you.
It’s a studio.
He pulls you into said building, and once the door is shut, he talks lowly.
“I used to come here, record music—“
Your gasp of interest makes him grin, but he shakes his head dismissively. “I never published anything, or even really did much. Just some sessions here and there, but I did come often to get some peace and quiet,” He explains as he guides you down a hall, and pushes open the door to a recording room.
He puts his backpack down in the rolling chair, then turns to you, gently taking the baseball and your stuffed animal.
He looks down at the cat, raising a brow. “Have you named it yet?”
“Jongseong.”
“What?” He looks up at you, confused by the fact that you called him by his government name.
“The cat. His name is Jongseong,” you clarify, and Jay breaks into a laugh as realization dawns on him.
“I see.”
He taps the nose of the cat, then sets it down on top of his bag, as well as the baseball.
“I don’t get what we’re doing in here,” you then say, tilting your head at him. “Like, did you just want to see it before we leave, or?”
He steps forward, reaching out to grab you by the waist. He pulls you in, slowly pushing your new sweater off of your shoulders.
“I’m fucking dying, honey,” he murmurs, and your eyes widen with realization.
Oh, fuck.
“Yeah?” You whisper, reaching out to drag your hands down his sides, letting one trail down to the bulge that has yet to soften within the confines of his jeans.
You bite your lip as you palm him, feeling him up through the denim, which is too thick of a barrier for you to really feel more than the obvious fact that it’s hard.
“Wait, baby,” he murmurs, gently pulling you into the recording box itself. He shuts the door, then turns to you, and pulls you into a searing kiss.
His hands roam your body, and he doesn’t waste any time unbuttoning your denim shorts, pushing them down your legs.
He hums against your lips, groping your ass with more greed than he did last night. Your hands are in his hair, tugging and pulling with need as you melt into the kiss, letting his tongue dance with yours.
It’s nasty and desperate, the way you’re kissing, bodies rolling rhythmically into one another’s.
His fingers dip under your shirt, and he pulls away from the kiss just to pull both your top and bra off in one fell swoop, leaving you in nothing but your panties.
“Fuck,” he breathes, hands trailing up your sides, until he’s groping your boobs, his hands gentle, mindful of his strength.
Your brows are furrowed, and you’re internally freaking out. You’re supposed to keep quiet while this man—hopefully—pounds you into next week? Right, right.
“Not fair,” you whisper, and he tilts his head, sliding his hands up to your cheeks, as he leans down to kiss his way up your breasts, to your lips.
He kisses you, open-mouthed and sensual. “What’s not fair?” He whispers back.
You don’t dare mention your concern regarding your ability to be quiet, because you refuse to pass up this opportunity.
You reluctantly pulling your fingers out of his hair, and instead tug at his shirt. “I’m damn near naked, and you’re fully clothed,” You murmur.
He hums. “Where are my manners? I’m sorry, honey,” He almost coos, before he pulls his shirt over his head, and you’re already working at his jeans.
He caresses your hair, a breathy laugh leaving his lips as you yank down his jeans, mouth watering when you see his dick, strained and twitching through the fabric of his underwear.
“Can I?” You whisper, looking up at him. His fingers caress your cheek, and he tilts your chin up.
“Say please.” He purrs.
“Please, Jay,” you respond with quiet, but honest need, and he nods slowly.
When you tug his underwear down, you take him in, naked before you. He’s fucking gorgeous, all tanned, honey-toned skin, chiseled slopes, and his dick is hard, throbbing, precum making his head look slick.
You look up at him, his hand lingering on your cheek, looking for guidance. You’d happily suck him off, but you wouldn’t be opposed to him fucking you right here, right now.
“Shit. I don’t…” He sighs, brows pinched together. “I don’t have any condoms, we can’t-“
“I have an IUD.”
He blinks, and when you nod reassuringly, he nods back, silently communicating with you. It’s okay. This is okay.
“Come here,” he murmurs, gently pulling you to your feet. He pushes you against the wall, and the foam-like material is soft against your hands as you brace yourself, arching your back.
He grips your hips, starts kissing your shoulder, moving down your back, until he sinks to his knees, and yanks your panties down.
He grips your ass, spreading your cheeks, his eyes fixed on the growing arousal making a mess of your pretty pussy.
You gasp when he dives in, burying his tongue between your folds, licking long, thick stripes from your clit to your ass, like he didn’t get enough last night, like he’s been craving this all day.
Has he?
You can only assume so, with the way he moans into your cunt, fucking his tongue into you, licking up your slick.
“Jay,” you whimper breathily, fingers digging into the wall. “Jay—“
“Honey?” He pauses, “Talk to me, sweet girl,” he murmurs, rubbing your lower back.
“The— the noise,” you whisper, letting out a shaky breath. “I can’t…”
Can’t shut the fuck up.
And while dying as he fucks you sounds like the best way to go out, you refuse to not have this man for at least a little longer.
Jay hums, then slowly stands, kissing his way up your back. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t reassure you, or respond at all.
He guides his cock between your thighs, rubbing the head between your lips, nudging your clit with each slow thrust.
Then, when he slides into you, he fucking whimpers.
Your eyes screw shut, and you let out a shaky, broken noise, an inaudible plea, fear and arousal consuming you.
He starts slow, fucking deep into your sopping, needy pussy, and gradually builds up to rough, calculated thrusts.
You cover your mouth with your hands, and Jay supports you by holding your hips, dragging you back and forth on his dick, to meet his thrusts.
There’s wet smacking noises, loud and filthy, but what’s even more nasty?
He leans forward, his chest pressing against your back, and kisses your shoulder, then lets out a loud, raw moan as his tip nudges your cervix.
“It’s soundproof, honey,” he whispers, “I—“ He grunts, thrusting into you, his fingers digging into your hips to help him stable himself.
“I forgot about this place,” he explains through strained noises and heavy breaths, “But we’re safe here…and I want to hear you,” He slides one hand up your back, then wraps it around your throat, gently guiding you to stand up more straight, arched against his frontside, while he fucks into you.
His other hand slides between your legs, and he rubs your clit, thrusting into you, kissing your cervix gently with each thrust, just barely nudging it with the tip of his cock; not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you just how deep he is.
“Fuck,” you cry out, a single tear sliding down your cheek, and he gently kisses the tear.
“Don’t cry, honey,” he whispers, “It feels good, doesn’t it? I know, I know,” He soothes you, whimpers ripping from your throat, as you finally let go of the fear.
He gently pushes you back against the wall, lets go of your throat, and caresses your hair, before his hand returns to your hip.
You lean your weight into the wall, moaning as he rubs your clit and thrusts into you, his own noises meshing with yours.
“Oh, fuck,” you moan, eyes rolling back as you’re beginning to hurdle towards an orgasm.
“That’s it, sweet girl,” he coos, “Taking me so fucking good, being such a good girl—“ He’s cut off by his own moan, and he speeds up both his thrusts and the circles he’s rubbing on your clit.
“I’m so close,” you whimper, brows furrowed with pleasure as Jay continues pounding into you, his pelvis smacking against your ass.
He hums greedily, the sound bordering on a low growl. “Cum for me, honey,” he pleas lowly, feeling his own orgasm approaching, his head falling back for only a moment before he lifts his head.
He needs to see you. He needs to take in how fucking sexy you are, how attracted he is to you.
“Jay, Jay—“ You whine, gasping as your orgasm rips through your body, your skin tingling and warm, your vision going white for a moment as he pounds into you.
He only slows his motions on your clit when you start muttering that it’s sensitive, and then, he grabs your hips, and his thrusts become harder, more desperate.
He moans, his jaw slack as he thrusts into you. “Fuck, baby, i’m gonna cum,” He breathes.
You look over your shoulder, managing to get a decent view at his expression, how he is so utterly focused on the way his dick disappears between your thighs, the way your ass recoils with each thrust.
“Holy—“ His eyes roll back, and his hips stutter, his thrusts slowing to a stop. He leans against your back as he cums, shooting ropes of hot semen into you, filling you with more than just his dick, now.
He lets out a breath as he kisses your shoulder, and wraps his arms around your middle, hugging you from behind. You lean into him, making a quiet noise when his cock slips out of you.
You grimace at the feeling of his cum sliding down your thighs, and he huffs a sheepish laugh.
“I’m sorry,” He murmurs, kissing your cheek softly.
“It just feels weird,” you giggle quietly, shaking your head. “And it’s okay. Didn’t want you to pull out anyways.”
He sighs, shaking his head. “Fuck.”
After cleaning up to the best of your abilities, Jay suggested that you both take a small rest here, in the safety of the soundproof room.
So, you’re leaning into his side, fidgeting with your ball, while he sips on water, his eyes closed as he relaxes against the wall.
As you look down at the item in your hands, you realize that the signature is no longer worn.
In fact, it’s brand new, and has a new addition. The outline of a cat, with a heart in place of the nose.
Suddenly, your eyes are watery. The ball means so much to you because it’s from him. Maybe you subconsciously knew that he’d become part of your life, from the jump.
Even if that wasn’t the case at the time, now, you can happily confirm that the ball is important solely because it’s from him. It represents how you met, it represents his passion for baseball, it represents the comfort the mere thought of his presence has brought you in the last three, horrifying days.
“You signed it again.”
“Yeah. I did,” he murmurs, peeling his eyes open. “I did it when you were in the shower, the other day.”
Staring down at the signature, you sniffle, then look up at him. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. It was the right thing to do.” He whispers, an ode to his refusal to credit himself, because of course he’d brush it off.
Rolling your eyes, you lean in, capturing his lips in a loving kiss.
It’s storming.
Like, properly storming. The rain comes down so harshly that the droplets almost sting, lightning strikes scarily close, and thunder booms so loudly it startles you every time.
Jay walks next to you, holding your hand. In his backpack, now, is your baseball and cat, an attempt to protect them from the weather.
You can see the beach, now, in the distance. Your heart is heavy, and there’s this feeling of dread, like something’s not quite right.
Jay feels it too. The atmosphere is heavy, and there’s this haunting sense of doom.
As soon as you make it to the sand, you stop dead in your tracks.
Hundreds of bodies, missing limbs, clothes, faces. They’re mauled and some are even slightly decomposed.
In the distance, a horn blares loudly, and you look ahead at the same time as Jay.
The boats are so far from the port that you can hardly make them out, but both of you realize one very unfortunate, critical detail.
The death angels, or whatever they were calling it on the news? They’d clearly been here. They’d been hunting down every single being who tried to get on the boats, and now?
There’s several on each boat, and there it is once again. That shrieking, high pitched noise they make.
You and Jay are met with a very grim realization.
You won’t be leaving Seattle.
You look at him, he looks at you.
Then, with unspoken communication, you both turn away from the gruesome scene, to face the very place you’d been trying to escape.
“…Looks like it’s you and me, honey.” He says, squeezing your hand.
thinking about nerd!jake who was supposed to be tutoring you but instead is trapped beneath you. he’s a complete whimpering mess as you bounce on his long veiny cock like a bunny, his nails digging so harshly into your ass it’s sure to leave tiny crescent indents.
you’ve nearly drained the poor boy dry as your thighs stick to his from both of your shared releases. a mixture of thick gooey cum stretching between your conjoined bodies like glue from earlier orgasms — shlap shlap shlap — oh, such a delicious mess.
jake’s face is flushed a soft pink from the neck up and his thick framed glasses are fogged up. his lip threads between his bottom teeth as you graze his throat with your canines, hands fisting the back of his hair while you arch into him.
loose sheets of paper scatter and lay forgotten across the desk as his deflated balls squish against the chair he’s currently pinned to. your sweet cunt swallows his length hungrily, puffy lips spreading wide open around his girth and kissing the base of cock each time you slam onto his pelvis.
“nghh— yn please. . . ha-aah— slow d-down,” he whines pathetically, wriggling uncontrollably beneath you as you bury his overstimulated dick to the hilt. your innocently decorated bedroom filling with lewd sounds of skin slapping each time you drive his needy cock home.
“j-jakey can’t— oh gosh! you feel soo good, ‘shoulda told me that your cock was this huge!” borderline pornographic moans fill the space as you fuck yourself drunk on his slippery length.
you can feel each protruding vein on his shaft drag against your velvety walls, which clamp down on him as his mushroom tip spears the spongey patch hidden deep within your love tunnel.
“ohmygodohmygod— holy sh— yn, i think i-im gonna—,” he squirms, but before he has the chance to finish you feel his cock head engorge, spurting hot ropes within your gummy walls and painting them white with his milk.
your walls flutter around him, clenching down hard as warm fluid gushes out and around his spasming cock, your hips relentless in grinding and rocking in small circles, ensuring that you’ve received all of the semen that he’s currently pumping deep into your womb.
you stir your shared creampie around, mixing it until a frothy ring forms at the stump of his shaft and drips down his thighs.
✩ jay x reader (f) ── DILF!jay who is also a chef, exes to lovers, mutual pining, angst, fluff
✩ wc: 10.3k
✩ cw (reader discretion advised): healing from a painful breakup, mentions of previous toxic behavior, smut with a disgusting amount of feelings, jay legitimately wants to knock reader up so there's a lot of breeding talk
He loved you deliriously, but it wasn't enough to keep him from letting you go. Years later, you run into each other again.
He's a dad now.
“I’m fucking poisoning you, aren’t I?”
Cavalier. Presumptuous. High-and-mighty. Show-off. A trainwreck. A goddamn fucking know-it-all.
Park Jongseong.
You had found him at his worst all those years ago like a little stray cat drenched in rain, hissing at everybody who dares to come close just to make itself look intimidating. He had lost a friend and he was hurting a lot, making his defenses taller than The Great Wall. Made of iron, impenetrable almost.
You had fallen in love with his full moon smile hidden under layers of midnight brokenness.
“Do not say such things!”
“You and I both know who you really should be with,” he spat, jaw and fists clenched in unison. “We should… we should just break up.”
Another outburst again. Jay was a man made up of intense emotions instead of flesh and bones. Pleasant delight to manic euphoria, tinge of arousal to fatal lust, mild irritation to unhinged fury at record speed. You loved how passionate he was, but it was indeed true that it was hurting you every once in a while.
But calling that poison?
“Please,” you begged him in tears. “Please don’t do this.”
He loved you deliriously, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from letting you go because he thought you belonged with someone else. Someone who had a decent command over his own emotions, someone who would make you mostly happy rather than half the time. They would at least be able to stay in your good graces when their pros trumped their cons.
Whereas Jay was in a vicious cycle of erasing all the rights he accumulated with a single colossal wrong.
“I know how much I’m hurting you. It’s who I am at this point. I can’t help it,” he averted his eyes from you, squeezing his eyes to push his tears back. “Just… Don’t make this any harder.”
“Jay, please… We can get through this together. We can—”
“It’s not your job to fix me!”
And just like that, he walked away. As if all those years you had spent together were just a dream. As if all the dreams you had did not exist. As if he had never called you his sun. It had caught on so much that you wouldn’t even call each other by your names; he would call you Sunny instead, and you would call him Moony.
Sun? What sun?
Light was a social construct, and it could go to fucking hell. Ever since Jay left, it was always new moon for you. Darkness was all you knew. Everything lost its color and turned into bleak monochrome shades.
And it was getting dimmer with each passing day.
You were going crazy. You talked to your friends about the same things over and over again, but nothing was consoling you. Nothing was able to splash a bit of cold water on the hellfire that broke out in your heart. The lilies you loved so much had died. It kept raining torrents. You cried and cried and cried over him until you ran out of tears to cry. You had never felt this helpless in your life.
Jay used to sing quiet lullabies for you in his arms.
You lost sleep.
Jay used to make grilled cheese sandwiches for you on Saturday mornings.
You lost your appetite.
Jay used to draw silly doodles on post-its and stick them all over the house so that you would laugh when you saw them.
You lost joy.
You bundled yourself in your cocoon of blankets for days on end, hoping it would pass. Sooner than later. Sooner than later. Sooner. Sooner. Please, I’m dying over here!!!
“It’s time, sweetheart. Come on, get up.”
You were so consumed in grief that you had lost all sense of reality. To this day, you were thankful to Hyejin for dragging you to a therapy appointment that day.
It still took a long-ass time, but you at least managed to reach a state of neutrality instead of violently breaking down when you heard the name Jay. The hellfire was put out, but the gentle sizzle of the everburning amber was still there. You had no choice but to come to terms with carrying that around for the rest of your life.
When it was time to reintegrate with the rest of the world again, you even entertained the thought of having someone in your life. You went on several dates. There were people you genuinely liked among them, too, but it always ended up the same.
“You’re still in love with your ex, aren’t you?”
Maybe. You were deluding yourself into thinking otherwise, but maybe… Even after all this time…
You couldn’t help it. Jay was your first true love, so naturally, the cut he left behind was the deepest of them all. He still popped into your mind every now and then, making you wonder how he was doing. Whether he was happy or not. Whether he was thinking about you.
Whether he was regretting his decision at all.
When you woke up that Saturday, you had a really bad craving for grilled cheese, but you realized were out of ingredients. If you left right away, maybe everything would be different, but you decided to leave after taking a shower that lasted exactly twenty three minutes. When you left your apartment, you briefly returned because you forgot to take out the trash. The cab you took ran one red light on the way, and you debated whether you should go to the bookstore now or after you finished your shopping, eventually opting for later.
…all of which cumulatively contributed to the exact moment you thought you had finally gone insane in front of the dairy aisle.
“Sunny?”
A bolt of lightning struck in the exact spot you were standing when you heard that name rendered in that voice. You heard something erupt in the distance, and the tremors of a violent mushroom cloud destroyed everything into a pile of goddamn debris.
When you slowly turned your head to your right, you indeed saw the one thing you were dreading to see for so long holding bread slices and a block of cheddar in his hands.
“Jay…”
His equally shocked expression was slowly replaced by a smile, and once you saw those cheekbones raised again, you felt your heart thumping in your ears.
“I can’t believe it’s actually you. You look fantastic!” he threw the groceries into his shopping cart and approached you. “How have you been?”
Your heart ached. He looked as good as you remembered him. Even better actually with those waves in his hair. The dark circles under his eyes were long gone, and while happy was up for debate, he at least looked healthy.
“I’m doing better,” a vague smile appeared on your lips. “How have you been?”
“More or less the same neighborhood.”
Both of you were looking at each other, and there was something akin to an awe-filled silence between you. It wasn’t tense, but it was extremely intense. You were replaying every single memory of Jay in your head at x100 speed and wondering if he was doing the same. One wrong word could pop the oddly cozy bubble that immediately enveloped this moment, and you weren’t ready for it to end yet. You wanted to beg him just like he used to when you tried to drag him out of bed.
Please, Sunny, just five more minutes!
“Are you in a hurry? Can we grab a cup of coffee right outside?”
You had managed to take one step forward after fighting all those demons. What if this was ten steps back? What if this small encounter was going to leave another unfillable void in your soul, and what if—?
“Of course,” you heard yourself say despite everything that was yelling at you inside your head. He smiled at you again.
It made you wanna throw yourself into the freezing cold ocean every time he smiled like that.
After completing your purchases, you made your way to the coffee shop in front of the bookstore, and Jay headed to the counter without even asking you what you would like. He returned with two large cups of dark roast americano, and you could smell the drop of caramel syrup in it. He still remembered how you took your coffee.
Your heart sizzled.
“Thank you,” you dragged the coffee towards yourself on the table for two. “You grew out your hair. It really suits you.”
“And you dyed yours. I really like the color.”
There were so many things you wanted to say, so many questions you wanted to ask, but you didn’t even know where to start. Then something caught your attention as you kept playing with the lid of your cup.
“You got a tattoo, huh?”
“It’s Polaris,” Jay touched his left wrist. “It’s for my daughter. She’s my little star guiding me.”
Your heart dropped to your stomach so fast that you felt queasy. Did you… hear that correctly just now?
“You… you have a daughter,” you flashed him a terrorized smile.
It wasn’t a question, but it was. It wasn’t an interrogation, but it was. So he did find someone after you. Not only did he find them, but also… Also…
Did you do to her the same things you used to do to me? Did you also tell her you loved her endlessly? Was she able to touch you like I would? Did you miss me when you realized I beat her at that one good?
“Yeah!” he brought out his wallet and showed you a picture in it with a smile. “Her name is Nari.”
“N–Nari?”
It would have hurt less if he started torturing you right then and there. Lilies… He named his daughter after goddamn lilies. Mr. I’m-Poisoning-You had indeed gone ahead and found a toxin-immune terrain to breed.
Was this a fucking joke?!
“Oh wow, she’s the spitting image of you!”
“She’s great,” Jay looked at the picture fondly. “Being a father really changes you, you know. It puts things into perspective.”
Of course you knew. You had always known he would be a terrific father. A quirky one, for sure, but filled to the brim with love for his children.
“How about you? You got any kids?”
You couldn’t believe you were asked this question by Jay as if you didn’t plan to have two kids once upon a time. One boy and one girl, the best of both worlds. Preferably twins. He was going to annoy the shit out of you with your son, and you were going to retaliate with your daughter because that was, quote, ‘How she will learn to be a boss lady later in life.’
“No,” you flashed a broken smile at him.
The mood was getting considerably solemn. What were you expecting anyway? For him to not be over you? He was the one who wanted to walk away, so why the surprise? What kind of hope were you holding onto all this time?
Were you unknowingly holding onto some hope all this time?
“Uh… So what do you do?” you attempted to change the topic. “Did you make it as a frontman like you always wanted?”
“I’m actually a chef now,” Jay leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms on his now broader chest. “If you’ve ever been to Four Seasons downtown, I’ve probably served you.”
“Whoa, isn’t that a Michelin restaurant?”
“Which I’m responsible for obtaining.”
“That’s fucking impressive!”
Neither of you touched that radioactive waste zone again until you reached the bottom of your coffees. Instead, you talked about stuff you would do at a college reunion. What happened after you graduated? Were you able to land a good job? Of course you were; your professors never shut up about how promising you were. Your boss, though? He could go fuck himself. The chef thing? While he was wandering around, Jay found himself in the cookbook aisle at this very bookstore one day, and it was all downhill from there. He had never thought about turning his hobbies into a career before and he should have done that sooner.
Both of you spent an entire hour like this. Pretending. Acting like you weren’t extremely shaken by the other’s presence, and in complete disbelief that this was the reality you were leading now.
“It was great to see you,” Jay spoke as you were leaving the place.
It was a disaster to see you, you wanted to yell at his face. I’ve been doing so fucking well up till now, and now I’m back to goddamn square one. Why did you have to fucking show up again?
“You too,” you smiled at him instead.
When you least expected it, he reached for a hug and all of a sudden…
That familiar scent.
Sandalwood. Ocean. Salt. Sunscreen. Forest breeze. Pine trees. Passion. Love. Lust. All in the same whiff.
Jay.
The one that got away. Willingly.
Even after all this time, I still love you.
“I really hope this won’t be our only encounter,” he sheepishly smiled and took his phone out. “Do you mind if we—?”
“I don’t think so, Jay.”
His expression immediately fell. He was sulking. You hated it when he pouted. You just wanted to give him the entire universe so that he would smile again.
But this past hour had taken the life out of you.
“I’m sorry, I–I didn’t mean to assume,” he put his phone back and turned his eyes to the ground. “Of course. When you agreed to have coffee with me, I just thought you… you weren’t...”
“It’s not that.”
You creased your brows trying to pick your words carefully. A part of you was still furious with him for what he had put you through, but it wasn’t like you wanted to get back at him for it. You were trying to move on, and exchanging numbers and having him around was certainly not the way to do that.
You could never be friends with him again. Not when you knew what he tasted like because you knew for a fact that he tasted like your soulmate.
And you were forever doomed to be the fully functional half of a perfect whole without Jay.
“I almost died trying to get over you,” you finally met his gaze. “It was nice to catch up, yes, but you seem to have much more important priorities now.”
You reached out for his hand, and he watched you stroke his tattoo with your thumb.
“My daughter.”
“I’m very proud of you, you know,” you smiled genuinely for the first time. “I know it’s not unheard of for people to change, but I’m very glad to see you changed for the better.”
Jay opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Instead, he smiled at you again, albeit in a thousand pieces.
It made you wanna burn yourself alive every time he smiled like that. You instinctively pecked his cheek and hailed an approaching cab.
“Say hi to the missus for me,” you smiled at him as you got in and took out your earphones from your pockets. “Houston Drive, please.”
Only after the cab took off was Jay able to register what you just said.
“Wait!” he dropped his bags. “Sunny, please wait!!!”
Jay started running after the yellow vehicle gliding down the road like a yellow serpent, but to no avail. He eventually slowed down to a halt, panting hard as he held his knees in complete fatigue. If he knew you would magically hear him somehow, he would yell after you at the top of his lungs until he completely lost his voice, but all his last remaining strength allowed him was a tiny whisper he could barely hear himself.
And it was turning into a sob dangerously fast.
“There is no missus, Sunny, please…”
“You’re fucking kidding me!”
“Nope. I’d rather gargle cyanide than bring him up in a conversation,” you talked into the speakerphone as you were tearing the lettuce in the kitchen. “Jay is a daddy now.”
“And who’s the bitch?”
“Jin…”
“I SAID WHO’S THE BITCH I JUST WANNA ACCIDENTALLY RUN INTO HIS WIFE SOMEWHERE WITH MY CAR!”
While Hyejin’s murderous intentions to avenge you were appreciated, you didn’t possess the knowledge that would satisfy her.
“I didn’t ask.”
“What do you mean you didn’t ask? Aren’t you at least a little bit curious?”
“I’m not about to spiral myself into a comparison olympics, sweetie.”
“Ugh, fucking Park. Pops out of nowhere like a goddamn jack in a box after all this time,” Hyejin scoffed into her receiver. “If I ever see him, I will crack his ring finger!”
You initially laughed at her violent comments, but then… something hit you.
“Actually, he wasn’t wearing one.”
“A married man and is not wearing his wedding ring?”
“I mean… I assumed he was married.”
“Let me ask you something, Sunny,” she sarcastically emphasized. “Did you or did you not hear it from his mouth that he was married?”
You drew a total blank at her words. No, you hadn’t asked him that because why the fuck would you? Who would have wanted to know what would be their untimely demise?
“But he has a daughter.”
“That literally doesn’t answer my question,” Hyejin insisted. “Did he tell you he was married?”
“He… He didn’t.”
“WOMAN!!!”
You didn’t know what to make of her reaction. When you were still together with Jay, Hyejin was the number one fan of your relationship, but obviously, people had to choose sides after a devastating breakup. She was always there for you through your darkest times, but now…
Was she insinuating what you thought she was insinuating?
“Here’s what we’re doing,” she continued, unbothered. “Next week, you’re getting into your classiest slut attire and we’re having dinner at Four Seasons for operation ‘This is what you missed out on motherfucker’. I’m making a reservation right now.”
“Hyejin, please!”
“I SAID WHAT I SAID. DON’T MAKE ME RUN YOU OVER, TOO!”
Then she hung up on your face.
Jay didn’t say it, yeah, but it didn’t necessarily mean that he was single, either.
But what if he was?
What if he was?
What if…?
“So what if he is?!” you threw your phone on the couch in exasperation.
On the D-Day, you took the longest shower of your life drowned in your thoughts, and started to get ready for your dinner plans as if you were going on a fucking date.
The possibility of seeing Jay again stirred something in you, no matter how much it was in a work context. If anything, you were nervous to be in his fascinating Michelin chef presence, quite possibly fucking shit up in the hottest way possible. Because that was what he was. Intense. No matter what he did. You didn’t even know how you would be able to see him considering… He had to be in the kitchen, no? It wasn’t like the man was serving people himself. Would you make up an excuse? Would you try to sneak into the back? Would you purposefully send your food back, or ask for the chef to come over so that you could pay him compliments in person?
Why did you agree to Hyejin’s plans again?
“Good evening. Did you have a reservation?”
You were there to have dinner, no? Basic human needs and whatnot. Then why did it feel like this man was questioning your entire life trying to decide whether you were worth being there or not?
“Yes. I believe it’s under Ahn Hyejin?”
The maître d’ went through the gargantuan notebook he had in front of him, and once he confirmed the name, he made his way inside.
“This way, please.”
You thought he was going to lead you to a table in the middle of the people crowding that large hall, so naturally, you were befuddled as hell when he passed the restaurant area and guided you towards a more secluded place.
“I’m sorry, I think there’s a mistake. I’m supposed to be having dinner with my friend?”
“Yes, Ms. Ahn has booked this VIP room for you.”
“For–For me?” you creased your brows in confusion. “As in she’s not coming?”
He finally slid a door open and gestured you to go in. There was a table for two inside in front of a window looking over a fantastic city view along with a lot of kitchen utensils. You walked towards one of the chairs and sat down.
“Enjoy your experience,” he left you by yourself in that extravagantly luxurious room.
Confused out of your mind, you attacked your phone to call Hyejin to ask where the hell she was, but she wasn’t picking up. The one time you needed her the most…
“Dammit, Jin!”
She was the one who came up with this plan without telling you what the plan fucking entailed, so what in the fresh fuck was up with that right now?
“Good evening.”
You heard the door slide open again. A person clad in jet black kitchen attire let themselves in and greeted you without looking at you. You could literally hear the fireworks or a nuclear bomb go off in the distance when you turned towards the source of that honey voice. The person’s expression, on the other hand, was between the brink of crying and flashing the most genuine smile of their life.
Your heart melted into a puddle when you saw him.
“My name is Park Jongseong. I’ll be your personal chef tonight.”
Park Jongseong. So that was how he introduced himself to the people who paid to see him. He might not be holding a guitar right now, but he still managed to be a rockstar after all.
“You’ll— my— personal what?”
“Well, isn’t that why you came here tonight?” he flashed a very entertained, lopsided smile at your flustered state. “To dine?”
Was it??? The last time you checked, you were under the impression that you were going to have dinner with your best friend to throw shade at your ex. Not be in such an unnecessarily close proximity to him that you would question all your life choices that led to that moment.
“I–I don’t… Hyejin booked…”
“Ah, of course. The boss lady herself,” Jay slightly bowed at the name as a sign of respect, then licked his lips with absolute mischief shooting from his eyes. “So you did tell her about me, huh?”
“Why— Why— Why would I do that?”
“I find it a little hard to believe that she of all people would coincidentally request me. I know she put a bounty on my head back in the day.” He casually handed you a long piece of cardboard that looked like an obnoxiously expensive wedding invitation. “Would you like my recommendations, or would you like to create your own menu for tonight?”
He was standing tall right next to you, posture upright, arms clasped behind his back, waiting on you like your personal bodyguard. You had noticed how much he must have been working out a couple of days back, but those bulging veins that traveled from his elbow down to his hands confirmed it for you.
Jay used to despise moving.
“I’d like to have so very much wine, please,” you handed the menu back to him while gulping, your throat parched all of a sudden. He chuckled in delight.
“As for the food?”
“Surprise me.”
His chuckle turned into gentle laughter for some reason, and you couldn’t tell if the urge bubbling inside you was to punch him in his stupid handsome face or to rip that unnecessarily sexy uniform off of his bonkers hot body.
What was happening right now?!
“With pleasure,” he took the thick cardboard away from you.
Jay opened a very decent bottle of cabernet sauvignon first to accompany your appetizers, and then promptly got to work. You watched him create magic right before your eyes. The way he was executing his craft with such passion and enthusiasm felt like you were supposed to be paying just to watch him cook. It was that satisfying, and he made it look so easy. Smooth wrist movements, flawless command over the knives he held in a tight grip, brows furrowed and lips slightly pouting with how laser focused he was. You didn’t even realize how much time had passed when he finished your first course.
“Please enjoy,” he placed an incredibly fancy-looking black porcelain plate in front of you.
And when you took your first bite of the food…
“God—DAMN, Jay Jay, you used to struggle even with pasta. How the HELL did this happen?!”
You knew you fucked it up royally when you held Jay’s gaze. As nervous as you were, the familiarity of having him around had gaslit you into thinking you were still in his kitchen from years ago, and the address just slipped from your lips. Jay Jay. The way he looked at you so longingly when he heard that name from you again… After all those years…
You wished the ground would swallow you whole.
“Thank you. I appreciate it very much,” Jay broke into a very comforting and content smile, sensing your severe internal struggle. “I’ll get started with your entrée.”
He proceeded to prepare your main course, and all of a sudden, you felt something snap at the back of your head. Maybe it was the burgundy courage sponsored by the wine coursing in your veins, but as he was busying himself with the vegetables in front of him, it just… slipped out.
“Why don’t you make it for two?”
“Are you expecting company?” he asked, not looking away from his cutting board.
“I’d like you to join me.”
He finally met your eyes, and you saw the whirlwind of emotions stirring in his. Surprised, definitely. Undertones of happy. A tinge of excitement maybe. And then he smiled.
It made you wanna lock him in the tightest embrace every time he smiled like that.
“I can’t do that while I’m working,” he returned to his cooking, somewhat bashful.
“You can if a paying customer is asking you to,” you insisted. “Please.”
Please? Did you just say please?
Did you know how many years he waited for you to say that in any context? Did you know how unequipped he was to say no to that request?
Without saying anything, he threw another marinated steak on the grill in front of him and added another portion of baby potatoes right next to it. Shortly after, he pulled two plates from the cabinet below him and decorated them exactly the same.
Minus the little demiglace sun he drew on your plate and a crescent moon on his.
After he placed the plates on the table, he grabbed a fishbowl wine glass and poured a generous amount of burgundy courage into it as if he wanted to drown himself.
“To you,” he raised his glass.
You reciprocated. Your glasses kissed each other way more fearlessly than you two could coexist in the same room. If Jay cooked dinner for you in the privacy of his own kitchen, it would only be slightly more intimate than this.
You both ate in silence for some time. You savored every bite, every flavor he managed to squeeze into that plate. It might be completely delusional of you to think this way, but for some reason, everything everything in front of you tasted so sweet just because Jay made it for you. Nothing in this world could be this concerningly delicious to make you think whether you were having your last meal or not.
“Jay, I’m going to ask you something.”
To hell with it. The itch at the back of your brain was about to drive you crazy, so you just had to scratch it before you snapped and went on a fucking rampage.
“Yes?” he looked at you with his brows raised.
“To be brutally honest, I’m kind of scared to hear the answer,” you put your fork down and stared at it. “Are you…?”
How to ask this? How to not pry but pry very much at the same time? How to make him think you didn’t have the ulterior motives that you absolutely had? What if he gave the wrong answer? Because there was a wrong answer here.
“You’re… You’re married, right? To Nari’s mother, I mean.”
“No.”
A total lack of pause. He answered your question so nonchalantly as if to say What the hell is wrong with you?
“REALLY?! I–I mean…” you immediately turned your volume down. “I mean, are you… are you divorced, or…?”
“We never got married.”
What the hell was that feeling of relief spreading throughout your chest at a concerning speed? It needed to stop. It had to stop before you started having hopes for something you ab–so–lute–ly shouldn’t!
“W–Why not?”
“Because we were never together to begin with,” Jay took a sip from his wine. “Nari wasn’t exactly born out of love.”
The clouds passing by his beautiful face… They were a distinct type of nimbus. Quite dark. Charged with lethal bolts of lightning. If they rained, they would sure as fuck create catastrophic floods after them.
“Her mother and I…” he started drawing circles on the rim of his glass. “Let’s just say our relationship lasted for less than an hour under a lot of haze. There was a time in my life when I turned to less-than-ideal means to…”
Then he pierced a hole in your soul with his eyes.
“To try and forget you.”
Once upon a time, you knew a man. He wasn’t aware he had pirated his entire personality from someone else, and he would do anything to get his way. Anything. Even say things that would mean so much to an average person with zero restlessness on his conscience because he didn’t have one. He just didn’t give a fuck who he was hurting as long as he got what he wanted.
Years later, that very same man was sitting right in front of you, holding his heart between his hands openly and giving you a free pass to crush it into mere dust if you wished. The amount of vulnerability in his voice… He knew he deserved it. He knew he deserved the worst of it.
“I’m not proud of it, but I’m taking responsibility. She was the one who wanted to keep the baby, but she is nowhere to be found most of the time. So I filed for full custody.”
“You’re—You’re raising her on your own?!”
“Yes,” he smiled proudly, then switched to his playfully cocky mode you were a bit too familiar with. “I mean, Rose helps us a lot of course, but I’m not about to give her all the credit. I am a superdad to my baby.”
You involuntarily chuckled. Why of course, even in the form of a joke, he just had to compliment himself because that was Park Jongseong for you.
“How old is she now?”
“She’s four.”
If someone had told you that years later you would be listening to this beautiful disaster with Everest-level cockiness talk about his baby girl fondly, you would die laughing. And yet…
Jay wriggled in his seat and cleared his throat, his eyes averted from you as he spoke.
“Well… Are–Are you…?”
“Am I what?” you reached for your glass.
“You know,” he dragged his finger down the stem of his glass as if that was the most important task at hand. “Have someone. In your life.”
He seemed almost scared to look at you, but eventually mustered his strength to face his fate. You dragged on the silence for as long as you could handle and shook your head no. Not only was there massive relief on his face, but Jay also let out a very deep breath that accompanied his blooming smile.
“Sunny.”
The tone of his voice changed all of a sudden. Serious. Determined. He reached for your hand over the table and fearlessly looked deep into your eyes as he talked this time.
“I’ve never stopped having feelings for you. Never.”
His skin on yours once again. Hesitant but oh so soothing. Asking for permission to please please come back home.
All your senses were extremely heightened somehow.
“I thought I was doing what I believed was the best for you, but I hit rock bottom. I lived my life as a walking corpse after I let you go, but you know why I’m glad Nari exists?”
Every time he talked about his baby girl, all his razor-sharp features softened, and the amount of compassion he had for her was simply bursting out of him.
“She turned me into a man that I’ve always wanted to become for you. She is teaching me about patience. She is teaching me about unconditional love,” Jay swallowed a sob to push it way down. “And she reminds me so much of you.”
This right there was how cruel life was. You both had to be dragged through hell and back in your own ways to become the people you were at that very moment. Nothing had gone according to plan, but then it made you think.
So what if it hadn’t?
Would that necessarily be the better option? What if you and Jay stayed together to the point of resenting each other so badly that you couldn’t stand the idea of sharing a life anymore? So what if it wasn’t you two that were supposed to change each other for the better? At the end of the day, Jay was a household chef and a devoted father who seemed much more level-headed, and you were a successful editor-slash-writer who no longer let anyone else occupy the space right at the center of your life.
All things considered, did that really turn out so bad?
All things considered, could you give him another chance?
All things considered, would you be able to find it in your heart to forgive him?
“You’ve always been my Moony, Jay,” you smiled at him through the tears threatening to fall. “And you always will be.”
His smile, on the other hand, grew so devastatingly big that you were almost blinded by it.
“I was thinking,” he began his words with the bashfulness of a teenager, “after I’m done here, would you like t—?”
“Pardon the intrusion, miss.”
“DO YOU FUCKING MIND, SUNOO?!”
The poor maître d’ was just doing his job, but the interruption at the best part exasperated Jay so intensely that he couldn’t help the volume of his voice, startling both of you.
“I sincerely apologize,” he judged the crap out of Jay solely with his eyes, not intimidated in the slightest, and put a little envelope in front of you. “Ms. Ahn extends her regards.”
When you opened it, you saw that it contained two keycards in it for Room 1116.
“Well, Sunoo, Ms. Ahn is indeed here, isn’t she?” you closed the envelope and shot him a knowing look. “I promise I’m not going to do anything. I just want to know.”
The man in his crisp brand-name suit got flustered out of his mind but felt obliged to provide you with an answer anyway.
“We’ve been strictly instructed to monitor your mood and let her know if you were in distress.”
“Thank you very much. While I don’t appreciate the CCTV treatment, please tell her I’m really enjoying myself.”
As the man apologetically bowed and made himself scarce, you removed one of the keycards from the envelope and slid it towards Jay.
“Here’s your tip, Chef Park,” you spoke with the softest but infinitely seductive tone. “Why don’t you pick up a bottle of your most expensive champagne and meet me upstairs?”
Without giving him a chance to speak, you got up to your feet. Jay’s eyes followed your every move, and his jaw dropped when you came that close to him and leaned in.
“You remember how we used to not let each other sleep, right?” you placed a little kiss on his nose and left him there to marinate in his feelings for a while.
You thought he would take a while to arrive, but shortly after you entered the room, you heard a knock on your door.
“Can I come in?”
“Why didn’t you just let yourself in?” you looked at him in surprise.
“I uh… I wanted to make sure you actually want this,” he scratched his neck. “Maybe you’re having second thoughts, or maybe y—”
Immediately familiar.
You shut him up with a kiss, and his eyes immediately closed. His lips within yours again… So soft. Occupied the space in your mouth just right. Burned you with the amount of desire they were coated in.
Some things had changed, yes, but some things were never ever going to change.
He still tasted the same.
“Does that answer your question?”
Your fingers dragging down his cheek was the absolute last straw. The feeble thread that barely held Jay’s remaining sanity finally broke, and he slammed the door behind him, devouring your lips with impatient hunger as you pulled him in from the collar of his uniform. Your hands were all over each other, wanting to touch everything at the same time. You guided his hand between your legs to show him what he still did to you after all this time, and that delicious groan he let out once he felt your wetness…
Complete music to your ears.
“You fucking know how weak I am for you, so you’re doing it on purpose, aren’t you?” he panted into your mouth. “Keep this up and someone’s getting knocked up tonight.”
“Then fucking put your money where your mouth is. I dare you to breed me.”
“I hope your birth control fails.”
“I hope your condom breaks.”
“Joke’s on you. I don’t have one on me.”
You pulled him in for another fiery kiss, but when you attempted to take off his top, he stopped you.
“No, no, no, baby, I need to shower first.”
You shuddered when he addressed you just like he used to. His eyes widened when he also realized what he just called you and examined your face intently to determine the level of his fuckup.
“I’m… I’m so sorry. Force of habit.”
“It’s fine,” you smiled at him, contrary to his expectations. “More than fine actually.”
“I promise I’ll be back in five minutes. Time me.”
Three steps later, he suddenly turned around and went for another kiss as if that was the very last one he would be able to get.
“And stay wet,” he bit into your lips with a smile.
You giggled as he bolted to the shower. When he reemerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his wet locks sticking to his face, he still had forty-three seconds to spare.
And you almost lost your whole entire shit when you saw him half-naked after all this time.
Jay had always been gorgeous, but now as a bonus feature, the man had become totally RIPPED.
“Now, where were we?” he sat right next to you and attempted to kiss you again.
“Nuh-uh,” you stopped him in panic as if you weren’t on the brink of jumping him yourself. “You did kill the mood. You gotta work me up again.”
“Again,” he echoed you. “So I did work you up before.”
Even when he knew what he was doing to you, Jay would always try to coax you into saying it out loud. Give him attention, tell him how handsome he was, praise his oral skills, moan his name when you were cumming… He lived for that shit.
But once his lips touched your skin again, there were no remains of the playfully brazen guy anymore. It was more like he was trying to tell you something without actually saying it.
“Did you miss me, too, Sunny?” he kissed the corner of your lips and started moving downwards. “Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”
His hands were all over you, albeit moving very unhurriedly. He was inhaling you a lot as if he had been to war and was down bad with homesickness.
“Say yes,” he spoke into your neck while pulling the straps of your dress down. “Even if you didn’t, please say yes.”
“But yes,” you affirmed and kept repeating it like a mantra to him just so it sank in. “Yes, I missed you to death. Yes. Yes.”
No amount of shampoo or shower gel could hide his sandalwood scent from you. You were getting lost in him just like you always did as if you hadn’t spent any time apart. Jay stopped for a moment and looked at your face while stroking your cheeks, eyes beaming with adoration.
“You have another tattoo?” you touched his right shoulder. “Don’t tell me that’s for your daughter, too, because this looks depressing.”
It was a completely blackened sun like it was in an eclipse. His expression turned serious all of a sudden.
“It’s for you actually.”
Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. It looked more like an ancient rune used to summon demons, so you had no idea what to expect. But you knew it couldn’t possibly mean anything nice.
At least, you thought.
“You were my sun. You still are. I already felt like I had completely eclipsed you, but when we broke up, my entire world darkened,” he caressed your hair. “It’s a little brighter now thanks to my little girl, but it’s… It’s not the same.”
You were suddenly overcome with so many emotions that you found yourself on the brink of crying. Jay’s eyes. Jay’s lips. Jay’s love.
Jay.
Jay.
Jay.
“Love me,” your voice quivered. “You owe me years’ worth of touches. Just fucking love me!”
“Shh, it’s okay now,” he kissed your hands and lay you down. “I’m right here.”
You let him pacify you with his touches as he stripped you fully. He caressed every inch of your body softly and marked every piece of skin he charted with a little kiss. As if he was discovering you afresh.
Because all things considered, he actually was.
“Hate me all you want. I deserve it,” he pulled himself up to your eye level again. “Just let me kiss it all better. However long it takes.”
Then he moved on to place his wet ‘days of the week’ kisses that you had missed so so so much.
“Monday.”
Your lips.
“Tuesday.”
Your neck.
“Wednesday and Thursday.”
Your breasts.
“Friday.”
Your stomach.
“Saturday.”
Your thighs.
“And Sunday.”
Your clit.
“You remember how we used to party on the weekends, right, Sunny?”
You inadvertently let out a giggle when he smirked at you that mischievously.
“Let’s see if I remember it correctly,” Jay got comfortable between your legs. “This spot is for sucking.”
He wrapped his gorgeous lips around your clit and sucked on it with barely there pressure just to tease you. He knew it would never be enough even if he kept this up for hours.
“This spot is for kissing.”
He moved right under your clit and kept placing feathery kisses on the flesh. He was slowly pushing you towards the very edge of impatience, and he loved the way you kept flinching under him.
“And this spot is for licking.”
Then he slithered down to your oozing entrance and started to lick into you with intermittent kisses. Just like he did on the nights you made up after a huge fight.
“Ah, Jay…”
“Call me your baby again,” he spoke quietly into your pussy, but you could feel his words inside you. “Call me baby like you used to.”
His way of passionately apologizing to you over and over again. He was drawing little suns and crescent moons on your pussy with his tongue, hoping you would recognize them. Hoping you would accept them as tokens of how sorry he was.
“Fucking god, your taste,” he contorted his face in absolute delight. “You taste better than the rarest delicacies.”
He put your hands on his head for you to guide him, wrapped his hands around your thighs, and started heavily making out with your cunt. He was going at it so ferociously that just thirty seconds in, you were already halfway there.
“I’ve kicked several addictions so far, but this? I’m never getting sober,” he wiped his chin smeared with your arousal and sucked on his finger. “I’m addicted to you. Down bad. Always have been.”
He gently slipped two fingers inside and started massaging that spot right behind your clit. Your moans were slowly transforming from quiet little staccatos to dragged-out sounds of pleasure as if you were belting a note.
“Better, right?”
“Much better,” you tugged on his moist locks. “God, you’re fucking amazing with those fingers, baby. You’re… You’re so… Oh, fuck!”
Jay was never able to control how he reacted to you whenever you praised him in bed for any reason. He was in dire withdrawal as it was; it had been too long a time since you showered him with compliments, but you throwing in baby in there? You might have said one word, but it still automatically awakened his beast mode because if there was one thing he loved more than anything, it was to compete with himself. In any capacity. His fingering got a little faster, and he alternated between sucking and licking long drags on your pussy. A little faster. A little harder. A little wetter.
Until you came all over his fingers.
He licked them clean and crawled on top of you to kiss you with his cum-stained lips, and once you gathered your wits again, you lay Jay down, hovering over him. You kissed him with the very same days of the week. His scars. His tattoos. Like you were accepting his apologies. Like you were accepting him for who he was. He kept wincing under you in pleasure and tried to catch a glimpse of your face as you made your way down.
“You remember how we used to fuck for hours on Sunday mornings, right, Jay Jay?”
You worshipped his abdomen just the way he liked it, touching and placing wet kisses all over. His large hands were caressing your hair as he watched you with his head tilted, dying of anticipation of the moment your lips would finally meet where he needed you the most. Jay loved the prelude, always had, and his breathing was much faster already.
“Should I go further down?” you teased him by kissing his crotch. “Should I?”
“Don’t make me beg!”
You would, but maybe some other time. You took his flushed cock in your mouth and started blowing him at a torturously slow pace. Deep. To taste his essence rather than pleasure him. All of a sudden, it felt like he was never gone, and this was just another night in your bed you were spending together until the faint blue lights of daybreak told you to stop fucking and go to sleep.
Even after all this time, I still love you.
He didn’t rush you. He was so scared you would come to your senses and leave him all alone for good that he couldn’t even move.
He wasn’t about to mess it all up again.
“I’m right here,” you held his hands to reassure him. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Once you said that, all the muscles he was unknowingly clenching loosened, and he relaxed into the pillow, completely letting go and just relishing the feeling of you around him. He was getting dangerously close to his release, but that wasn’t a part of his plan.
“Don’t!” he stopped you when you started choking on him. “Don’t make me cum. Not yet.”
When you let go of his cock with a loud pop, he immediately sat up and pulled you in for a deep kiss. His tongue still tasted like you in your mouth.
“Beg, baby,” you scratched right under his chin. “Beg to fuck me. Beg for me.”
“Let me make it up to you,” he brushed your hair away from your face. “Let me show you why I’m your other half. Why we belong together. Please.”
“What if I say no?”
“Please, baby,” Jay pleaded with his lips on your neck again. “Let me fuck you. Let me fuck you deep. Let me fly us both. Let me drive both of us crazy right here right now. You know I can.”
If Jay’s weakness were your praises, then yours was his relentless begging. You were ready to spread your legs for him four sentences ago, but what fun would it be if he didn’t turn into an utterly desperate lover so eager to please? You placed your hands around his neck and harshly pulled him down with you, signaling him you were ready. You must have fucked each other maybe hundreds of times, but every time you felt him press against your entrance, all hard and throbbing, it still felt like the very first time.
“Oh fuck, you still feel like heaven inside,” Jay took deep breaths as he carefully settled inside you. “You still fit around me so snugly.”
Oh, how you missed this feeling… Feel this full with him inside you… No matter how much he stretched you, no matter how wet you were for him, it never mattered. The second he started moving, you were so overwhelmed by the intense pleasure that your eyes were rolling back as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan.
“You still react the same to me,” he chewed on his lips and picked up his pace just a measure. “Does it still feel as good, baby? Do you like the pressure?”
You slammed your hands on his hips and groped him as hard as you could, hoping it would translate into something along the lines of “FUCK YES PASS THROUGH ME!”
“God, it… it feels… m–much better than… than I reme— Oh, Jay…”
“Wrap your legs around me. Let me go deeper.”
When you did as he said, Jay was able to angle himself properly to reach a critical spot inside you. Too critical. K.O. material. Could cause a severe short circuit in your brain at any moment.
“Fuck, that’s deep!”
“I know how my girl likes it. I know all your hotspots,” he devilishly smiled. “I know how exactly you like to cum like the back of my hand.”
“Getting cocky there a bit?”
“Tell me if this rings a bell,” he continued to fuck you deep but now with slower thrusts. “Folds teased until you’re rabid. Pussy fingered and clit sucked until it’s numb in my mouth. Breasts fondled. Thighs kissed. Legs massaged with my cum as your aromatherapy oils.”
You involuntarily groaned at how fucking brazen he was being with you, reciting all your guilty pleasures right at your face. He grabbed both of your hands and pinned them right above your head.
“Then it’s my turn, and I fucking drill you into this mattress like my personal pornstar, and you take it like the good girl you are. Sound familiar?” he started moving with sharper, more precise thrusts. “Do you deny any of this? Do you deny that I know how to fuck you just right?”
“Jay, please!”
“I’m made for you, baby. Don’t you ever forget it,” he unleashed himself on your lips like a starving predator.
All that filled that dark room for a while was nothing but the soundtrack of your insatiable hunger for each other. Both your muffled moans melting into each other, obscene sounds of skin against skin, lewd squelches coming from your sopping wet cunt…
“Listen to you. Fucking dripping,” he sharply hissed. “Go ahead baby, you can soak me more. Don’t be shy.”
“Fucking— Just— Fuck, you’re— How d— oh my GOD!”
“Aww, I know baby, I know,” he placed an unnecessarily chaste kiss on your forehead. “Getting fucked by your man so good you can’t even talk properly. Am I doing that good of a job pleasuring you?”
“You’re doing perfect, baby.”
“Am I still your good boy, Sunny?”
“Keep talking like that, and I’m gonna fucking bite you!”
“I dare you,” he breathily spoke, more like a threat than a challenge. “Kiss me. Then bite me. As hard as you can.”
You could try to wriggle away all you wanted, but Jay’s grip on you was like a deadbolt. You weren’t able to move an inch. He slowed way down and watched the way he disappeared into you while biting his lips so hard they were about to bleed.
“See? See how it slides right in? I turn you on so bad you can’t help getting wetter,” he shoved a couple of fingers inside your mouth to suck on. “Night after night, I dreamed of this. You. Getting so fucking wet around me that I have no choice but to cum.”
You weren’t able to talk anymore, but what you really wanted to do didn’t require any words anyway. You swirled your tongue around his fingers and looked at him so desperately that there was no way he wasn’t going to react to this.
“Don’t look at me like that with those begging eyes, or I swear to god I’ll breed the shit out of you,” he landed a light smack on your thigh and took his fingers out. “And you best believe it’s going to hold. Your walls are so swollen already.”
“All talk, no play. You’d fucking better finish inside,” you rattled him. “My pussy’s too pretty not to be eaten or creampied, and that’s a fact.”
“Yes, it is. It fucking is. It deserves to be creampied first and then eaten.” He threw his head back in absolute ecstasy, maniacally laughing to himself like he was losing his mind. “And you already know I swallow.”
He channeled all his focus on your annihilate button, the spot inside you that made you see the stars. The curvature of his cock was angled just right to end you, and if he pressed with just the right pressure…
“Now let me hit that exactly the way you like it.”
He buried himself into you to the hilt with one sharp thrust. Once he bottomed out, he pushed a little more forward and started hitting that spot hard in a staccato rhythm like a pulse, never once pulling back.
“Oh, FUCK YOU!”
“Right there, isn’t it? You love getting this spot fucked,” he was more than satisfied watching what he was able to do to you. “God, you’re literally ascending, baby.”
Only at that moment did Jay realize one of the closet doors to the left side of him was plated with a mirror. Once he caught a glimpse of the two of you in the frame, he throbbed really hard inside you.
“Oh, jesus fucking christ…” he turned your attention to the same destination. “Nobody can ever do it like us, baby. Look how fucking hot we are.”
Jay being his otherworldly sexy self, fucking the life out of you like there was no tomorrow was already enough to blow your mind, but when you actually saw yourself getting fucked…
The amount oozing between your legs suddenly reached an embarrassing amount.
“Soaking the sheets, huh?” he contently chuckled at the trail you were leaving under you. “Time for my girl to give it to me good, then.”
He swiped his thumb on his tongue and started going to work on your clit. While you thought the level of eroticism itself was going to end you, it suddenly became…
Something else.
“I belong right here. Don’t ever leave me without you,” he started going harder. “I’m begging you. Please.”
You held him by his waist and pulled him in for a kiss with your arms around his neck. You were both overwhelmed by your emotions, unable to think straight. It was never just lust with Jay. Every time you fucked, it felt like a reaffirmation, a renewal of promises between you. You had badly broken and bruised each other once upon a time, but at the end of the day…
“It’s you,” you whispered into his mouth breathlessly. “It’s always been you. You own my heart, Jay.”
If you kept talking, the leash of his tears was for sure going to slip from his hands. He suddenly stopped and rested his back against the headboard, promptly making you straddle him to pick up where he left off.
“I’ve always loved you. Always. And I always will,” he rolled his hips into you. “Tell me you love me, baby.”
“Even after all this time,” you moved away the locks of his hair covering his eyes. “I still love you. I love you to the moon and back.”
To the moon and back.
To the moon.
Your Moony.
Jay finally lost all control and started fucking into you so fervently that it was impossible for you to endure that pressure.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“Again, baby.”
“I love you, Jay.”
“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum!”
He gently pushed your chest back to make room for his thumb and started rubbing you frantically. The second you contracted hard around him with that high-pitched moan, Jay let go and came really fucking hard as if he was having a spasm. He came so much, and it was so wet between your legs that you didn’t know which of those drops belonged to you and which ones belonged to him.
“Don’t pull out,” you grabbed him by his nape and pulled him closer. “Deeper. Fuck your cum deeper into me.”
“You’re driving me clinically insane,” he bit into your lips, then promptly kissed them along with your cheeks and your forehead. “Just like we always wanted, huh? The best of both worlds.”
You rode out your high in that utter state of bliss and collapsed on top of him, but even in his fucked out state, Jay clung to you like a koala bear. He kissed your shoulders and your neck, wrapped his arms around your waist, and pulled you into his embrace.
“I did miss you so much,” you started playing with his hair once you both calmed down. “But there are some realities we need to talk about.”
“You mean Nari.”
“Yes,” you averted your eyes from him. “I can’t just appear in her life just to disappear again, Jay.”
“But who says you need t—?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” you interrupted him. “I don’t even know if she would like me.”
“Well, considering she’s growing up with the fairytales I tell her about Sunny the Princess, I think she wouldn’t mind seeing her in the flesh, but I digress.”
“You what?!”
As he let out that on-brand, deafeningly loud cackle at your reaction and kissed your lips, you were thinking just how much you had missed even having your ears ring like that.
“I know the situation is not what we thought it would be, but Nari could be our child. We can give her a baby brother, too,” he pressed your hands on his chest. “I’m ready for this. If you’re also willing, just say the word, and we can have our happily ever after.”
A happily ever after. With Jay. Maybe the means of getting there didn’t really matter after all as long as you got to have it, but it wasn’t a decision about two people’s lives anymore.
“This seems too big of a decision to make overnight.”
“Then tell you what, how about we ease into it?” he propped up on his left elbow. “I take you out on a few dates, we fuck on the third date, and if you see a promise by then, you meet her by the tenth date. How does that sound?”
“Damn, tenth?!” you widened your eyes in shock as if he just insulted your entire ancestry. “I have to wait that long?”
“She’s hard to get. You can’t just appear in her life just to disappear again.”
You landed a well-deserved smack on his arm, but the picture he painted for you was more than fair.
“That sounds lovely.”
You kissed him to your heart’s content to avenge all that time you spent apart. With his eyes closed, Jay’s hands never left your skin as if to make sure that you were indeed real and right next to him, and this wasn’t one of those dreams again.
“I love you, Sunny,” he glided his fingers down your cheek. “You complete me.”
“Even after all this time?”
He flashed a smile so endearing you almost melted into a puddle right then and there.
“Further than forever.”
He wanted to punctuate that moment with a kiss at the expense of getting your lips painfully swollen, but the deeper he kissed you, the more something was awakening in him again. Before you knew it, his hands were slithering down your back and groping your hips.
“Already?” you looked at him all surprised.
“You have no idea about the drought I was in for years, so yes, already,” he pulled you under him and trapped you under his frame. “If you fall asleep, I am fucking you awake tonight, just FYI.”
Synopsis
Rival hitmen clash when they're both hired for the same contract, their years of animosity erupting into a brutal fight for dominance. Forced to cooperate to eliminate their target, the intense hatred between them combusts into a raw, violent sexual encounter.
content warnings
Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Enemies to Lovers, BDSM Elements (Dominance/submission dynamics),Rough Sex,Anal Sex (Standing/Doggy Style),Hand Jobs (Mutual), Gunplay, Spitting,Biting/Marking,Degradation (Verbal),Strong Language,Character Death(not Sunoo or reader)
The first thing you register is breathing.
Not yours.
Too steady. Too close.
You freeze mid-step, the toe of your boot hovering an inch above polished marble. The house is dark, expensive-dark, the kind of darkness curated by money and arrogance. Your gun is already up, finger disciplined, pulse slow.
Then the hallway light clicks on.
You don’t lower the weapon.
Neither does he.
Kim Sunoo stands across from you, framed by warm light spilling from a wall sconce, dressed in black like he’s mocking the cliché. Hair neat. Expression open in that infuriating way that never matches the things he’s known for.
For half a second, the world narrows to instinct.
You almost shoot him.
You don’t because he doesn’t flinch.
Because his eyes aren’t wide with fear—they’re sharp with recognition.
“…You,” he says.
There’s no surprise in his voice. Just irritation. Like he’s found a scratch on something expensive.
Your jaw tightens. “Move.”
He doesn’t.
Instead, his mouth curves—barely—into something that makes heat crawl up your spine. Not amusement. Not friendliness.
The air between you turns electric, heavy with years of unspoken rivalry. You’ve never met him before, not face-to-face, but you know him. His work. His habits. The way he leaves nothing behind except rumors.
People compare you to him constantly.
You hate that.
You hate that he’s standing here, alive, breathing the same air, like he has a right to your space.
“Back off,” you say again, slower now.
Sunoo tilts his head, studying you like a puzzle he’s been waiting to solve. “Or what?”
Your finger tightens.
For a split second, you imagine it—how easy it would be. How clean. How final.
But he steps forward instead, and you realize something horrifying.
He’s not afraid of you.
“Don’t,” you warn.
“You won’t,” he replies calmly. “Not yet.”
That does it.
You lunge.
The fight is brutal, silent, efficient.
Guns are knocked aside first—calculated, intentional. You crash into him, shoulder to chest, sending both of you into the wall. The impact rattles the frame, but Sunoo recovers fast, elbow driving toward your ribs.
You block it. Counter. Grab his wrist.
He’s stronger than he looks.
That pisses you off more than it should.
“You always this sloppy?” you mutter, twisting his arm.
He hisses but grins anyway. “Only when I’m annoyed.”
He knees you hard. You stagger back, breath knocked loose, and he uses the opening to shove you into the kitchen island. Your back hits granite.
The hatred is raw now.
Years of comparison. Of whispers. Of clients asking why not him instead?
You swing again.
This time, he catches your fist.
Your hands lock. His grip is iron, warm, steady. You’re close enough to see the faint scar near his eyebrow. Close enough to smell gun oil and something clean beneath it.
For a moment, neither of you moves.
“You really don’t like me,” Sunoo says quietly.
You laugh, sharp and humorless. “I don’t even respect you.”
His eyes darken. “Liar.”
You shove him away harder than necessary.
“Get out of my way,” you snap. “I don’t care how many people you’ve killed. I’ll add you to the list.”
He straightens slowly, expression finally dropping its lightness. What replaces it is cold. Focused.
“Try.”
Silence crashes down.
Then—footsteps.
From the bedroom.
The target is awake.
You and Sunoo look at the closed door at the same time.
Both of you curse.
The kill is messy—not because either of you lacks skill, but because you’re tripping over each other, glaring, correcting, snapping under your breath.
“Left,” you hiss.
“I know,” Sunoo snaps back. “Don’t tell me how to do my job.”
“Then stop doing it wrong.”
He shoots you a look that promises murder later.
When it’s over, the room smells like blood and gunpowder. The body lies still. Final.
You wipe your blade clean, movements sharp, controlled.
Sunoo watches you.
“You fight like you’re angry at ghosts,” he says.
You don’t look at him. “You talk too much.”
“Yet you’re still here.”
You finally turn. “You’re in my way.”
“Am I?” he asks. “Because from where I’m standing, neither of us walks out clean if the other pulls the trigger.”
You hate that he’s right.
The standoff that follows is worse than the fight.
You sit across from each other at the kitchen table, weapons within reach, tension coiled so tight it feels like it might snap on its own.
“You think you’re better than me,” Sunoo says suddenly.
“I know I am.”
He laughs, sharp. “See, that’s what I like about you.”
Your glare could kill. “Don’t.”
“What?” he asks innocently. “Admire the competition?”
“I don’t compete,” you say. “I finish jobs.”
“Same here.” His gaze flicks over you, assessing. “Guess that makes this personal.”
The words hang between you, heavy.
Something shifts—not softens, but sharpens into something else. Awareness layered over hatred. Interest buried under resentment.
You stand abruptly. “We’re done. Leave.”
Sunoo doesn’t move.
Instead, he steps closer.
“You ever wonder,” he says quietly, “why they never send us after each other?”
Your breath catches despite yourself.
“No,” you lie.
He stops an inch away.
“Because they’re scared,” Sunoo continues. “Not of who would win.”
His eyes drop briefly—to your mouth. Then back up.
“But of what would happen if neither of us did.”
The space between you feels charged, dangerous.
You should push him away.
Instead, you grab his collar and slam him into the wall.
Hatred burns hot enough to feel like desire. His breath stutters—not in fear, but something else. Something answering.
“Say one more thing,” you growl, “and I swear—”
He grips your wrist, hard. “You’ll what?”
The challenge is unmistakable.
Your foreheads nearly touch. Your breathing is ragged now, control slipping, lines blurring between violence and something far worse.
For a moment, the world holds its breath.
Then Sunoo leans in, voice low. “Do it.”
The kiss—if it can be called that—is rough, angry, all teeth and heat. It’s a collision, not a confession. You shove him harder into the wall, and he doesn’t resist. He bites back, hand fisting in your shirt like he’s been waiting for this exact moment.
It doesn’t feel like surrender.
It feels like war.
And when the door finally closes behind you both, the rest of the night is left unspoken—claimed in darkness, breath, and the kind of fire that only enemies can make burn this bright.
The moment the heavy door clicks shut, you have him pressed against it, the solid wood groaning under the force. Your body pins his, all hard lines and muscle against his lean frame. The pretense of restraint is gone. The kiss deepens, turning from violent to hungry, from punishment to claiming. Your tongue invades his mouth, dominating, tasting the mint of his gum and the coppery tang of adrenaline. Sunoo doesn't just accept it; he arches into it, a soft, broken sound escaping his throat that's all surrender. His hands, which had been fisted in your shirt, slide up, fingers tangling in your hair, pulling you closer, demanding more.
"Thought you were better than this," you manage to growl against his lips, tearing your mouth away just enough to speak, your breath hot and ragged. The words are meant to be an insult, but they come out rough, possessive.
His eyes, usually so sharp and mocking, are glazed with something you've never seen before. A dark, desperate need. "Maybe I'm just waiting for someone who can handle me," he breathes out, the challenge still there, but now it's laced with invitation. It's an offer you're more than willing to accept.
You spin him around, slamming his chest against the door this time. He grunts, the sound muffled by the wood, but he doesn't fight it. He braces his hands on the surface, pushing his ass back against you in a silent, obscene plea. Your hands are rough as they yank his black shirt up his torso, your fingers tracing the defined muscles of his back, feeling him shudder under your touch. The skin is warm, smooth, and alive. You lean in, your teeth scraping the nape of his neck, marking him. He gasps, his head falling forward, exposing the vulnerable line of his throat.
"You talk too much," you repeat your earlier insult, but this time your voice is a low murmur right against his ear. "Let's find something better for that mouth to do."
One hand stays splayed across his back, holding him in place, while the other moves around to the front of his tactical pants. The buckle is cold against your fingers, but the heat radiating from him is undeniable. You pop the button, the sound loud in the tense silence of the hallway. His breath hitches. You don't rush. You drag the zipper down slowly, teasingly, letting the metallic sound draw out the anticipation. You can feel the tremor that runs through his entire body, a reaction that has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with raw, unbridled want.
Your hand slips inside, past the waistband of his underwear, and your fingers wrap around his cock. He's already hard, thick and heavy in your palm, a testament to how much this is affecting him. You give him a slow, deliberate stroke, from base to tip, and he bucks against you, a choked-off moan tearing from his lips.
"Fuck," he whispers, his voice wrecked. "You... you asshole."
You smirk against his skin, giving his dick a firm squeeze. "That's not what you were calling me a minute ago." You pump him again, your thumb swirling over the head, smearing the bead of pre-cum that's gathered there. His hips start to move, a desperate, undulating rhythm, fucking himself into your hand. It's a power play, but he's the one losing control, and it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
The hallway floor is hard, unforgiving, but you don't care. You shove his pants and underwear down his thighs, leaving them pooled around his ankles. You kick his feet apart, widening his stance, exposing him completely. The sight is enough to make your own cock throb painfully in your jeans. Sunoo, the pristine, untouchable ghost, is bent over, exposed and wanting, all for you.
You don't bother with finesse. You spit on your fingers, the sound crude and intimate, and press one against his tight entrance. He tenses for a split second, a reflex, before forcing himself to relax, to open up. You push in, knuckle deep, and he groans, low and guttural. The heat of him is incredible. You work him open with a scissoring motion, stretching him, preparing him. You add a second finger, then a third, his body yielding to your intrusion. He's pushing back against your hand now, shameless in his need, his breath coming in ragged pants.
"Enough," he finally gasps, his voice strained. "Just... do it."
"Say please," you demand, your voice a low growl. You want to hear him beg. You want to strip away every last layer of his composure.
He hesitates, and for a moment you think he'll fight you. But then his head drops, his forehead resting against the cool wood of the door. "Please," he whispers, the word barely audible, but it's everything. It's surrender. It's victory.
You free your own cock, the relief of it almost overwhelming. You line yourself up, the head pressing against his slick, prepared hole. You don't enter him right away. You tease him, letting him feel the weight of you, the threat of it. He whimpers, a sound so uncharacteristic of the Kim Sunoo you thought you knew that it goes straight to your head, straight to your groin.
"Look at me," you command.
He turns his head, his cheek pressed to the door, his dark eyes locking with yours. They're wide, blown with lust, and a vulnerability that makes your chest ache. In this moment, he's not your rival. He's not a competition. He's yours.
And then you push inside.
The first thrust is slow, deliberate, a deep, steady pressure that sheathes you in his incredible heat. He's tight, so tight it almost hurts, but it's a pleasure so intense it borders on pain. You watch his face as you fill him, see the way his mouth falls open, the way his eyelids flutter shut. You don't stop until you're buried to the hilt, your hips flush against his ass.
You stay like that for a moment, savoring the feeling, the complete and total possession. Your hands grip his hips, your fingers digging into his flesh, sure to leave bruises. He's trembling, his entire body vibrating with the effort of holding still, of waiting for you.
"Move," he chokes out. "Fucking move, you sadistic—"
You cut him off with a sharp, hard thrust that knocks the air out of his lungs. And then you give him what he wants. You set a brutal pace, a punishing rhythm that's all about dominance and release. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the hallway, mingled with his broken moans and your own guttural grunts. It's raw, animalistic, a fuck fueled by years of resentment and a sudden, overwhelming attraction that neither of you can deny.
One of your hands snakes around to the front, finding his neglected cock. It's weeping, desperate. You wrap your fingers around it, matching the pace of your hips, stroking him in time with your thrusts. The dual stimulation is too much for him. His body bows, a choked cry tearing from his throat as he comes, spilling hot and thick over your fingers and the polished wood of the door.
His clenching, pulsing heat around your own cock sends you over the edge. With a final, deep thrust, you bury yourself inside him and let go, your orgasm ripping through you with the force of a tidal wave. You empty yourself into him, marking him from the inside out, a claim that's as permanent as the scars you both carry.
For a long moment, the only sound is your combined, ragged breathing. You're still inside him, still draped over his back, the sweat cooling on your skin. The reality of what you've done starts to sink in. You've crossed a line. You've burned a bridge. You've fucked your enemy in the hallway of a dead man's house.
You pull out slowly, and he hisses at the loss. You both straighten up, tugging clothes back into place with an awkward, unspoken silence. The air is thick with everything that hasn't been said. You can't look at him. You can't look at anything but the discarded shell casings on the floor, the dark stain spreading on the bedroom carpet.
Finally, you risk a glance at him. He's leaning against the wall, his face pale, his expression unreadable. But then he meets your gaze, and a slow, dangerous smile spreads across his lips. It's the same smirk he had when you first saw him, but now it's different. Now it's shared. Now it's a secret.
"Well," he says, his voice a little rough, a little shaky, but still unmistakably his. "That's one way to settle a dispute."
You can't help it. A laugh escapes you, sharp and surprising. "Don't get used to it."
His smile widens. "Too late."
The unspoken agreement hangs between you, heavier than any contract. This isn't over. This is just the beginning. As you both slip out into the pre-dawn darkness, disappearing into your separate shadows, you know with a certainty that chills you to the bone that the next time you meet, it won't be about a target. It'll be about this. About the fire you started, and the undeniable, explosive need to see just how brightly it can burn.
pairing: park jongseong x reader
genre: alien!jay x scientist!reader, strangers to lovers, romance, angst, betrayal, slowburn, futuristic au
warnings: dubcon, profanity, kissing, alien fucker i guess... tentacle sex, virgin!jay, self fucking anal m!rec, switch!yn x switch!jay, experimenting on living organisms (aliens), yn's job is really mentally and emotionally draining, there are a lot of morally grey scientists that yn works with, violence, mentions of blood, big dick!jay, mutual oral, aphrodisiac sweat, hyperspermia/squirting, breeding kink, mentions of sedatives/tranquilization, needles/injections, dissecting living organisms, usage of restraints ie, shock collar and chains, confinements, sweat/scent kink, mind control, knotting, yn is an orphan, mentions of various weapons, minor character deaths, lmk if i forgot smth !! 18+ not proofread at all guys the typos are probably diabolical i wrote a lot of this half asleep
synopsis: jay, an alien on planet earth learns to love.
wc: 32868 (dont ask)
──────── shout out to @soulofsim @intromortal @s1rawb3rry @xylatox @heejamas for giving me so much encouragement to write this and helping me step out of my comfort zone. they were such great friends for supporting me and sharing their brains to help with ideas, plot points, and world building. i've really wanted to try to write something different and it's kinda my first time writing this type of fic ifykyk so i'm really excited to share it with all of you c: i hope you guys enjoy it <3
“this is dr. ln– the date is january 12th, 4044; time is 245am.” you say while glancing down at your watch, the bright cyan and white glow illuminating your face in the dim laboratory as the band on your wrist projects a holographic image of the current time of day alongside the weather, the date, and other irrelevant details that you never paid attention to.
it was another tireless night in your lab, a day filled with research and experiments that blended well into the night and eventually into the sunrise of the next morning. that was your routine, so much so that it consumed a great portion of your own personal life that there was nothing left of who you were outside of being a scientist.
a life's long dedication to research where you felt no other choice but to continue.
most days you wouldn’t care about the strenuous length of work because it was for the progression and study of alien life. your job as a scientist was to study behavioral patterns and alien species. you’ve dedicated your whole life to studying them ever since the incident with your family when you were a child, leaving you an orphan; it molded who you are as a person and the thing that took your family away was now filling every crevice of your mind.
you wanted to study them to get to know them better and with time maybe humans and aliens could reside on earth without fear or the need for violence. aliens became known to humankind just a little over 100 years ago and although subjectively 100 years is a long time, the knowledge we have on them didn't compare to 100 years of research.
aliens were smart— most of them— so they mostly resorted to leaving humans alone; aside from the occasional alien that found it's way onto earth who do one of two things. they either learn to adapt and try to hide among the humans
or they wreak havoc until government officials catch wind and a hunt to capture them begins. aliens weren't ever executed when captured. instead, they were taken to your research facility where you and several other scientists took part in researching them— most of the time it would result in their death,
but it was all in the name of science.
and for people on earth— that was enough to not give two shits about aliens. that and the fact that there are around 400 alien related deaths per year— and that's just what's recorded, not including all of the ones that go unheard of by the news.
like what happened to your parents and siblings all those years ago.
saying that you didn’t have any resentment for the type of alien that killed your family would be a lie, you were only doing this so you could figure out their way of life and in turn, understand how to eradicate them from the face of the universe.
but that was proving to be a tougher task than you anticipated. after years of work and university, long hours of studies and research, space expeditions that left you wandering in outer space for weeks on end you'd think that you would’ve encountered the alien species that attacked you and your family all those years ago— but nothing.
you’ve come in contact with almost 100 different alien species and yet none of them share any similar characteristics as the alien from that night. 100 alien species out of the unknown number of total aliens out there, all of them just scattered across the universe, some hidden in the darkness, some closer than you think. you were going to complete your research one way or another.
there was a burning flame inside of your chest that fueled you to keep going. a small flame that you've chosen to hide in the depths of your soul, afraid that if you ever let it burn too bright or too big that it would just result in you burning yourself.
and you didn't need that when you're still so far away from what you've been looking for.
"species identified as 'Arma-44' brought into the lab approximately 72 hours ago after being captured in central city. subject was living among humans— a barista— before a sudden outburst that led to the subject exposing itself as an alien to every patron inside of the establishment.
enforcement was contact immediately and the subject was contained." you continued to speak into the small device clipped to your lab coat, recording your voice for later referencing as you begin your routine check up on the alien that was laying unconscious on the cold silver table.
it's arms and legs were chained securely to avoid escaping if it ever came to— which would be difficult because all aliens undergo a 24 hour sedation process. when they arrive at the facility they're injected with 100cc's of tranquilizer once every 4 hours while they're chained up in a chamber that fills the room with a constant flow of sleep gas— only turning off when it's time to inject them again.
the species you were currently studying was called "Arma-44" a newer type of alien species only discovered this year, hence the number in it's species name. 'Arma' comes from it's similar characteristics to an armadillo, the alien has a protective outer shell that it uses as a defense and that's pretty much all you knew about it.
but it was your job to study the alien so that you could learn more.
you walk a few feet to reach for blue sterile gloves, sliding them over your fingers with a snap, cracking your knuckles as you head back to where the alien is laying. it's scales were still present as it was captured during it's original form, unable to shift back into it's human— more acceptable— form.
when the alien was captured and it was time for sedation, the extraction team broke almost 20 needles trying to penetrate it's skin— the outer shell proving to be very tough— but because they were focused on brute rather than brain, they didn't realize that if they just took one second to pay attention, the alien's neck was vulnerable and free of any protective scales.
you prodded around the base of the subject's neck, feeling around for where their pulse could be, surprisingly enough, like humans a lot of alien's have their pulse in similar places but this alien wasn't providing you with any as far as you know. you checked every common place you knew of, the spots that humans have them plus the spots that you've learned from other aliens— and nothing.
deciding that finding it the traditional way wasn't going to work, you chose to drag the alien across the room, using your feet to unlock the wheels of the table and pushing it towards the large x-ray machine tucked away in the corner of the lab.
the machine lights up with bright LED dots that blink in configuration before the artificial intelligence behind the machine comes to life, instructing you to place the alien in the empty space to begin the scan. the machine begins to close, covering the subject in a metal sheath as the x-ray begins, a low hum from the mechanism fills the room as you lean back on one of the various tables laid out in the lab.
a sigh slips past your lips when you remember the time, your sleep schedule wasn't even a schedule anymore these days, it was more random and sporadic, becoming difficult to fit sleep into your busy schedule as if it wasn't an important thing that someone needed to regularly have.
the bags under your eyes only prove the existence of your lack of sleep.
"doctor ln, still here?"
your head snaps upwards towards the voice as the automatic doors shut behind the owner of said voice. you can see the hallway chamber releasing a sanitizing gas behind him when the door closes. everyone had to go through several sterilization procedures before entering the lab— safety measure and what not.
your eyes followed dr. kim as he reached for gloves and slid them on like you did just moments ago. you hummed in response before telling him that you're behind on some research and chose to stay late to catch up— gesturing with your head to the alien being scanned in the x-ray machine.
dr. kim was quite new to the facility, he's only been here just a little under 6 months but he's shown great promise with his attention to detail, extensive knowledge on animals that have helped with identifying alien behavior and creating connections between other species, and above that— he was really kind.
much kinder than all of the other people in this place.
much kinder than you.
"i find it hard to believe that you— dr. ln— are behind on anything." he responds, walking over to a table just a few feet away, squinting his eyes at the different vials of various colored liquids. his fingers carefully hover over some of them, he reaches for one and gives it a slight shake and it shifts from a dark red color to a bright cyan.
it was the blood of another alien species— the Aeros-Cline; a bird like alien that constantly adapted with the slightest change of weather, making it more obvious that they're not human because they're continuously changing appearance. you had the most information about them in the files but lately dr. kim's been looking into them after hearing that their progression as a species was coming to a halt when he noticed that the most recent Aeros-Cline that was brought in had traits that weren't compatible with the current weather.
it's currently late winter yet the alien was showing signs of regression, it's features proving that it hadn't adapted since spring from the year before.
"aren't you the one who yelled at a senior scientist for sending out a file late? you had him so scared that he asked one of the officials to transfer him over to a different facility." he says while putting the vial back into it's place.
you laughed at the memory— it wasn't your fault that a majority of scientists here were not only incompetent— they were also men. you already had a repulsion towards men— minus dr. kim— and that fact that he was useless for a 'senior' just pissed you off. you needed that file sent over to a different facility because they had a small window before a species they were studying was going to reach the end of it's lifespan.
the idiot scientist didn't send it in time and therefore the window of time of research closed which meant they not only didn't get the information they needed from the alien but ever since then they've never run into that species again.
"not my fault that guy was an idiot. glad he's not here anymore." you responded and it makes the two of you giggle.
"careful… they're always listening." dr. kim whispers and the two of you avert your gaze to the security camera that was watching over the entire lab— it makes the two of you laugh because you of all people couldn't give any less of a shit when it came to things like that. you were quite the controversial addition to the facility when you were hired on at 18 and after facing a wave of doubt and misogynistic comments from your peers, you surely proved them wrong when you were merely promoted to head scientist two years later.
you and dr. kim became quite close very quickly when a few colleagues made homophobic comments about him— you were all having lunch when someone made a slick comment under their breath like you wouldn't hear it— but you did.
needless to say that guy not only never made a comment again, he also had to learn to breathe properly through his nose again when you grabbed him by the back of his lab coat and bashed his head into the white cafeteria table, staining it red.
"i can't believe they couldn't get that stain out—" dr. kim says after the two of you recall that memory. it was true; they never removed the stain off of the table, it was there as a constant reminder to not be a fucking asshole. it gave more of your colleagues a reason to be scared of you— which you didn't mind because you didn't want them speaking to you anyway.
"yeah, well if your boyfriend heard that he probably would've made a bigger scene than i did."
dr. kim smiles at your comment as his eyes wander upwards like he's having a dream sequence of his loving boyfriend— park sunghoon, head of security at your facility. he was a quiet guy, nice and treats dr. kim well; the two of them started dating just a little over a month of dr. kim getting assigned to this location.
it was quite evident that sunghoon had a crush on dr. kim when he let him slide for certain things that he otherwise would've given others penalties for like smoking inside the facility or accidentally leaking his PIN to get into the building.
sunghoon was ready to protect dr. kim in many ways and it was endearing to see them be that way.
"scan complete. stay clear of entrance— species active."
the machine whirs and both of your heads whip around towards the machine at the voice stating that the alien was now awake. it didn't make sense— just before you pulled the alien into the lab it had just received another dosage of tranquilizer, it shouldn't even wake up for another few days if you were to pause its dosage.
dr. kim is quick to come over to you, gently grabbing your elbow to pull you further away from the machine as the metal doors slide open, releasing a white gas after sterilizing the inside.
but nothing happened.
the alien was just laying there— still— just like it was when you put it inside the machine. you slowly walked over but dr. kim tries to hold you back, you turn around to give him a reassuring gaze, that it was fine and there was nothing to worry about.
you were fearless in ways dr. kim wasn't— he admired that about you.
as you got closer to the alien you could feel your heart pounding against your ribs more and more, you had no choice but to check on it, confirm it's awareness and then call for enforcement.
when you're finally close enough to see it's face, the alien's eyes are shut like it was before, no signs of activity of being awake. you turn to dr. kim to tell him that it was just a false alarm— the machine having an error of some sort but when you make eye contact with him his eyes widen in fear, causing you to turn back around to see the bubbling inside of the alien's chest.
there was merely seconds of you noticing the deformity and the alien's chest bursting open, giving you practically no time to react.
the alien's brightly colored blood spews across the machine, some of it splattering onto your lab coat and skin— a gasp rips from both of your lips as you stumble backwards to rejoin dr. kim who was reaching for you. the two of you run towards the safety lever that was on the other side of the room but you're both left frozen in your place when a high pitched screech cracks through your panic.
just a few feet away stood the alien, it's hard exterior left lying on the table as it drips in it's own blood— thick, slimy, radioactive in appearance.
the alien stares the both of you down as it stalks forward in your direction.
"sunoo, the lever!" you yell, pushing him away as the alien swipes at the two of you with sharp claws. you didn't even know that the alien had the ability to produce talon like fingers— something you'd later need to document once you're out of this mess.
you manage to dodge it's attack, falling to the ground with a groan.
the alien shrieks once again and it makes you shut your eyes in grimace— "fuck! sunoo, the lever!" you shout again just as he's smashing the glass casing open and pulling at the safety measure set in place specifically for this type of situation.
the room erupts in a blaring alarm as lights shift from a dim white glow to a blinking red flare.
sunoo quickly runs over to you, helping you off the ground as the alien staggers from the flashing lights and alarm. the two of you cover your ears as you try to run towards the exit but the alien is quick to ground itself and with a type of speed you'd never seen before in an alien, it's dashing towards the two of you— grabbing sunoo by the nape and tossing him towards the wall, knocking him unconscious.
meanwhile, it lunges at you once again.
you dodge it's attack like before but not the next one, it's talon slashes through your coat and cuts into your back, your blood painting the white fabric. a pained groan leaves your lips as you fall to the ground, scrambling backwards towards a wall while your eyes scan the room to find sunoo laying on the ground— not moving.
that small flame inside of your chest was beginning to burn just a bit hotter as your mind shifts from flight mode to fight. when your back hits the surface behind, you notice that it's a temperature chamber and with quick thinking it gives you an idea.
just as the alien swipes its talons at you again, you slide out of the way as it crashes into glass, breaking the door of the chamber. you take this as an opportunity to run towards sunoo, pulling him behind a shelf so that he's not just out in the open before running back over towards the alien who has already turned back towards your direction.
it begins running at you but you're able to stop it by quickly undoing the locks on another table and driving it towards the alien, the heavy material of the tables crashes into it's midsection. it shrieks once again at the pain as you grab a fire extinguisher from a shelf and swipe one of the vials from the temperature chamber. the alien falls onto it's back, writhing in pain as it tries to turn over back onto it's feet.
in one motion you smash the vial at the alien— the glass breaks and spills it's contents, the blood of an alien you studied just a week ago where you found that if not in a controlled space like the alien's body or inside of a temperature chamber, the blood begins to boil into the highest temperature; so high that in can burst into flames.
within just a few seconds the blood erupts into a bright green flame, latching onto the alien and burning it— it's piercing shrill echoing throughout the lab as it burns, charring it's skin that hasn't recovered fast enough from peeling it's previous exterior— not giving it the opportunity to protect itself without it's defensive mechanism built into its DNA.
just as the alien releases it's final hiss, a squad of officers file into the room, weapons at the ready, sunoo's boyfriend at the front of the group. he yells a string of commands to his team but you're quick to cut them off with the sound of the fire extinguisher putting out the flame.
due to it's insanely hot temperature it took longer to extinguish— using up almost all of the canister.
everyone stops when the smoke clears and reveals a burnt alien smashed into the ground, the table toppled over it's body, pinning it in place.
"you ok?" sunghoon asks and you brush him off, telling him to focus on his boyfriend who was just waking up. he rushes over to him, panic clear on his face but he wears it well— concealing his worry with a stone cold expression as he pulls his boyfriend into his arms, rubbing his back and asking a million times if he was okay.
"i'm fine, sunghoon. yn took care of it, look—" sunoo says, pointing at the alien when suddenly it's body lurches forward with a hiss, shocking everyone including the fire squad who hesitate at shooting it, but not you.
you snatch the gun out of the hands of the officer standing next to you and before he's able to protest, you're blasting the alien straight through the head with the beam of the gun. the laser like bullet piercing through it's skull with a squelching sound as it falls back down.
"now it's dead…" you say before shoving the gun back into the officer's hands.
you turn around to leave but sunghoon calls out for you.
"thanks for looking out for sun— i don't know what i would've done if i didn't get here in time and something happened to him."
sunghoon wasn't an emotional person— he was when it came to sunoo— but everything else? not at all.
you stop him, telling him that it's fine and he didn't need to thank you, that it was your duty as sunoo's senior to protect him anyway. "go take care of him— i know he hates it when the aliens die." you mutter and sunghoon turns around to find sunoo pouting at the site of the alien— who despite trying to kill him just a few moments ago and knocking him unconscious, still felt a type of guilt and empathy towards it.
he was so kind— you only wished you could have a fraction of the kindness he had.
"yn— where are you going?" sunoo calls out and you stop just before you enter the sanitation hallway.
"i'm covered in blood" was all you said before walking out of the lab and into the hallway.
sunoo and sunghoon watching through the small window of the door as the sanitation gas fills the hallway. "you okay?" sunghoon asks for the nth time as he wraps his arm around sunoo's shoulders. sunoo smiles at him and answers that he's just fine— answering the same way each time sunghoon asked him.
you wished for that type of love.
they're so perfect for each other despite being so different. their differences compliment each other so well that it seems like they've been together for ages. you envied them— not in a negative way though. you simply yearned for the time you're able to find someone like that.
someone, who despite being different from you, still matched you.
someone who would look out for you— protect you even though you were capable of protecting yourself.
someone who could show you what true love is.
as you enter the anteroom and slide off your dirty lab coat and change into a pair of clothes that aren't covered in blood, your mind travels to the wound on your back that was still oozing blood that's now drying onto your skin. you wince at the pain— adrenaline subsiding as the pain gets worse.
the pain was so unbearable that you had to force yourself to make your way to the medical wing, stumbling into through the doors as dr. sim watches with wide eyes at your state. your face looks drained, eyes reddening and struggling to stay open.
"dr. ln! what's wrong?" he asks in a panic but you're not able to respond when you fall forward, falling into his arms as his eyes land onto the large gash on your back, blood seeping through the fabric of your clothes as you fall unconscious from the loss of blood. dr. sim throws out orders to the medical staff to get you immediate help, concern in his gaze as he lightly taps your face, begging for you to open your eyes.
✶
when your eyes flutter open, you're greeted with a bright overhead light, so bright that you're forced to keep your eyes shut, moving your hand in front of you to block the light until you're able to open them just enough to look around.
"wake up sleepyhead."
you turn your head to the side to find a smiling dr. sim, stethoscope hanging around his neck, wire rimmed glasses pushed up over his hair, and twinkling eyes looking at you. "you've been out for a minute now— no worries though, dr. sim's got your back." he says before offering you his hand to help you sit up right, "no pun intended."
you wince slightly as you move, your back still aching from the events that took place earlier. you're thankful dr. sim was still on the clock when it happened, he was the only doctor at your facility and it would've been a whole different story if there wasn't anyone available from the medical team. "just relax– gonna run some final tests and you can go home, alright?" you nod as he brings his stethoscope to his ears and gently does his check up.
"scared us you know… we thought you were a goner…"
"c'mon dr. sim, give me more credit than that. some alien isn't gonna take me outta the game."
the two of you chuckle at your lighthearted response, dr. sim slightly shocked at how you could joke around after the attack but he figures humor was just your way of coping. dr. sim was another person at your facility you trusted and could be comfortable around— a friend one would say. he likes to call you his 'best friend' but if sunoo heard that he'd probably start an argument.
you were definitely one of the quieter ones at your job— most people would say you're intimidating, but the people you've grown close to at work definitely didn't care about any of that, they didn't let it stop them from befriending you and you were grateful for that. you've never been one to know how to make friends so knowing they wanted to become your friend despite not really showing any friendliness was sort of nice.
"woah… this is weird."
"what?" you furrowed your brows at dr. sim when you can see the clear confusion on his face. "you're— you're mutating…"
"what the fuck are you talking about? what do you mean mutating?" you were beginning to panic, hand grabbing dr. sim's arm, pleading for him to explain except all he does is laugh. your face only gets more confused as he continues laughing, wiping a tear away from how hard he's laughing at you— "what the fuck?"
"oh shit, you should've seen your face, yn! i'm fucking with you— thought we were joking around."
"are you fucking— fuck you, jake."
"that's dr. sim to you miss scientist."
"no it's dr. idiot— fuck off." you shake your head at him after flicking his forehead, he pretends it hurts and dramatically reacts by clutching his chain in pain even though that wasn't even where you hit him.
"okay okay— sorry, you're all good, yn. i'll send you home with some antibiotics and you should be good to go. keep your dressing dry and clean, change it out once a day and apply the ointment and you should be dandy." he says while helping you out of the bed, your hospital gown crinkling around you.
"if you need help changing it you, you know where to find me." he winks and you roll your eyes in response. jake was nice, he was funny, thoughtful, and handsome, maybe in another life you would've pursued him romantically but dating your colleague just seems like something you didn't want to be a part of– let alone have as your first ever relationship. he was always flirty with you— in a friendly type of way but he never stepped over any boundaries.
jake was just lovable in that type of way, he even flirts with sunoo sometimes to piss off sunghoon and you would all just laugh it off, except for sunghoon who would glare at jake with a pout as he wraps an arm around sunoo's waist, pulling him closer.
"i've got your keys and things from your office, let's go."
"what do you mean?"
jake turns around to look at you, "i'm driving you home. you think you're in any condition to drive? yeah, right."
he doesn't even let you protest before he's grabbing your belongings from a tiny cubby in the corner of the room and taking your hand in his, gently guiding you to the garage beneath the facility.
the elevator hums as you two descend below the facility, jake still carrying your things in addition to his own belongings, white lab coat still draped over his shoulders as you're standing in silence. your eyes are fixated on the cold metal floor of the elevator and jake takes notice of how you look like there's a million things running on your mind.
"penny for your thoughts?"
"what are you a grandpa?"
"what's that supposed to mean?"
"sorry— i feel like i've only ever heard 70 year old grandfathers use that phrase."
jake laughs at your explanation and patiently waits for you to answer regardless. "it's just— the attack reminded me a lot of what happened when i was a kid. it could've gone so much worse, i'm just glad sunoo wasn't hurt more than he already was." your voice was small and had a slight tremble. jake could tell it had shaken you up even if you tried your best not to make it seem that way.
"you're the reason sunoo's safe. you did one hell of a job protecting the two of you, i know it may not mean much but you should be proud of yourself the way you handled all of that. we watched the footage and the way you thought on your feet? the way you made sure sunoo was protected before you even chose to act? it was like watching a hero."
you scoff, "i'm far from a hero…"
there's a silence before either of you speak again.
"still— i know it must be traumatic but it's over now."
you nodded, eyes still glued to the floor.
your mind travels to that night all those years ago. the terror that took place in your childhood home, the blood of your family splattered on the walls, soaking the framed family photos that were hung up, their insides spilled onto the carpet, staining everything in red as you watched in horror.
an alien tearing through you family like they were pieces of paper being fed through a shredder.
"hey, we're here."
you snap out of your trance and realize the elevator doors were opened, jake standing just outside with his hand out, waiting for you to step out of the elevator so the two of you could head out for the day.
it's almost 7am when jake helps you step into the passenger side of your car. he carefully places your things and his in the trunk before jogging around and sliding into the driver's seat. you didn't even question why jake was doing this for you because you knew that he'd probably just say, "because i'm your friend." with that cheesy smile you couldn't deny was charming.
"alright, you call me if you need anything. stop acting like a stranger, we're passed that." jake reminds you as he's rummaging through your fridge to put your medicine away. he acts like the place is also his and you don't mind. he was right, you two have gotten quite close even though you didn't want to at first. "thanks jake.."
"a 'thank you' from miss yn? dr. ln? where is yn… what did you do to her— oh my god, you are mutating, aren't you?"
he jokes around and you laugh with a roll of your eyes, shoving him slightly and shooing him away to the door. "seriously though… you take care of yourself and you call me, or sunoo, or even sunghoon's bitchass if you need something." he looks at you with a stern gaze but his overall soft demeanor makes it look cute rather than intimidating.
"yes, doctor. i will." you respond just as his holo-cab is arriving. an invention from a few years ago that's basically your own personal cab driver that operates on a link system connected to the cloud where you can map out routes of your own choice like your workplace, home, etc.
"alright. you take care, yn. i'll see you in a few weeks."
"a few weeks?" you look at him, unsure of what he meant.
"are you going on vacation or something?"
"no, yn. you're injured and with the lab totally messed up, commander lee is putting your unit on hold until further notice— shit, i probably should've waited til you got the briefing on that."
you shut your eyes in frustration, telling jake that it's fine and he should go, "you're probably exhausted too. you should head home, thanks for everything, jake."
he smiles as he gets into his holo-cab, waving at you until he's too far away to be seen.
you huff as you shut your door behind you, a series of clicks and soft whirring sounds as it locks behind you with your biometric system. a security protocol you had set in place when you got your house built.
a lot of your life choices as an adult were a direct result of everything that happened to you as a child— especially after the night you lost your whole family.
you didn't even have any energy to figure out what jake was telling you about your unit being put on pause by commander lee. too exhausted to do anything and if commander lee was the one who set it in place, there was no use in arguing with the person who signs your checks. you figured you'll check your email when you can but for now, you're going to sleep for as long as you can.
you let out another sigh as you roll into bed, careful to not make any sudden or big movements to avoid reopening the stitches jake did on your back. you're phone is finally back on after losing battery several hours ago and you spend just a bit of time scrolling to make sure you don't miss any important messages.
there's a few from sunoo, asking if you're doing alright and telling you how grateful he was that you were there. he adds that he'd love to go to lunch with you when you're a lot better, saying that he wasn't going to take no for another. you send him a quick response to let him now you're home and that you'll take him up on his offer once your body was feeling better.
he responds almost instantly to tell you how worried he's been and that he's so happy to hear from you.
you even got a message from sunghoon, something short, just him thanking you for taking care of "his sunoo" and then wishing you a speedy recovery. you chuckle softly at the way he's always making it obvious how much he likes sunoo by doing things like saying sunoo is his, slipping it into normal conversation.
sleep soon takes over as your eyelids get heavy and it becomes harder to keep scrolling on your phone. a quiet yawn leads to your eyes fluttering closed, your phone slipping from your hand and landing next to your head as you drift off to sleep. no longer wanting to think about all of the things that transpired just some hours ago.
✶
what you expected to only be a week suddenly turned into a whole month of being away from work. at first you were starting to appreciate the time off since you've never really given yourself the grace to take any breaks, your days off at home were also filled with research, but the longer the hold went on, the more you got frustrated.
your studies and research were being left behind. samples and lab work have probably reached their expiration without anyone tending to them properly and months of research and studies are now lost because of what happened a few weeks ago. you curse at yourself for even letting it happen, blaming yourself for not being more diligent and aware that something like that could happen— even though nothing could've prepared you for it in the first place.
it was a lot like how you treated yourself after the incident.
you just hid while your family was slaughtered, fear striking you frozen as you watched your family been torn apart limb by limb, so afraid that a scream couldn't even escape your tiny body as the alien who took your family away from you dowsed itself in your mother's blood, drained your father's life through his skull, and fed off of the fear of your two siblings who weren't fortunate enough to get away like you did.
fortunate.
a lot of people liked to say that about you.
"yn, you're so fortunate to have gotten away."
"how lucky that you didn't get found."
"it's a really good thing that alien didn't get you too."
was it though?
were you all that lucky or fortunate to have gotten away knowing that you could've done something to help but instead you sat in fear as your family was killed right in front of your eyes while you cowered behind the flimsy door of the laundry room— wooden panels providing ample view of the horror that played out in your living room, right where you used to spend time as a family— whole, together; and then never again.
✶
"ready to get back to work?" sunoo asks as the two of you stand next to each other in the elevator. he had the same wide smile and blushing cheeks you saw on him just a few days ago when you got lunch together. the two of you met up after receiving an email that your facility was finally done being put back together after the alien attack and that there'd be a few changes happening moving forward— none of which they specified but if it didn't interfere with what research and study you were doing before then it didn't matter to you.
all you wanted to do was get back on track and continue your hunt— sure the month break was nice but the longer you were away the more you became restless and eager to come back.
"yeah— definitely been too long. my lab tests are all probably messed up now and i'll have to restart everything, gather new samples and just hope the extraction teams are doing their job and plucking aliens off the street instead of polishing their stupid guns…"
your response comes out long winded and sunoo's just staring at you with a blank stare, "sorry, i'm restless…" you sigh and he just laughs. "i can tell. don't worry, i'm sure you'll be able to pick back up wherever you left off— plus you have me as an extra pair of hands and another wrinkly brain to work with!" sunoo's relentless optimism would be annoying to some but you appreciated it even if your face didn't seem to show that.
"you're right… let's get back to work, dr. kim." you say just as the elevator rings and the metal doors slide open to reveal your new facility.
"let's do it, dr. ln!"
the two of you walk through the shiny new floors of the facility, now a dark obsidian black to avoid the visibility of stains on the previous white floors— from the blood. the ceilings were higher, the lighters were brighter, and the atmosphere was… different. you couldn't quite put your finger on it but there was a stark difference in the way things felt inside of the facility.
like there was something looming— impending– that was waiting for the final straw to break the camel's back. everyone smiled differently, greeted you differently, spoke differently, but no one could sense the difference besides you. sunoo was too focused on catching up with everyone to notice how some people's eyes
"lighten up, yn. the place looks great!" jake suddenly emerges from around the corner, glasses low on his nose, lab coat around his shoulders, and stethoscope in hand. you and sunoo turn towards him and jake's approaching the two of you as you're scanning your badges, a short beeping sound comes out of the mechanism as it scans your figures before opening the entrance to let you in.
"like the new stuff?" jake asks and you scoff.
"new stuff? like the unnecessary security system? you think an ID scanner is going to stop an alien from getting in here?"
sunoo and jake giggle at your remark, brushing off the fact that you're right and the new implementations they added to the facility doesn't really stand as a new line of defense but just a bunch of fancy bullshit to make it look like the corporation cares for the well-being of the people at the facility when they really didn't.
"plus— it's not like they actually care about protecting us; if they did they would've done more than a shitty lever that makes the whole building alarm." you added and suddenly there was an awkward shuffle between you and the boys.
"what would you like then? guns and combat training?" someone speaks up from a few steps away. a new voice in the conversation that you couldn't recognize nor cared to— but you were sure he was going to introduce himself even if you didn't really care.
you, sunoo, and jake turn your heads to find sunghoon and another guy walking by his side. his eyes were sharp, nose tall and lips pursed. the way the stranger's jaw line clenched and unclenched made no difference in it's sharpness and the way his eyes spoke of nothing but an unidentified determination that he kept close to his chest— that chest that gave the buttons of his white dress shirt a challenge to hold on. you blink your eyes as the two men get closer and you could feel the stiffness that takes over sunoo.
typically he'd be giddy and all smiles at the sight of his boyfriend but you figured the man at his side made him feel some type of way; like he couldn't be his usual self around the stranger.
"hello, dr. ln." he begins, extending his hand towards you.
you glance down at his hand before glancing back up at him, hand left unshaken— but he's not fazed by your reluctance and cold welcome.
he clears his throat as he retracts his hand, shoving it into his pocket.
"i'm park jongseong— you all can call me jay; i'm the new lab director for this division and after the incident one month ago i intend for things to change around here."
jay goes onto shake the hands of sunoo and jake as they exchange a few pleasantries. "director park here is the youngest person to ever become a director at the corporation. his initiation was broadcast to every facility in our nation. he'll be a great addition to our facility." sunghoon adds, patting jay on the shoulder and you can see it in jay's face that he wants to shove his arm off but he doesn't.
an attempt to create a welcoming rapport with everyone so that he doesn't raise any red flags with anyone.
sunghoon's about to continue his ramble of useless knowledge on jay but he's cut off by the man himself to let sunghoon know that his achievements have nothing to do with what he's doing there— "i'm here to create change. i hope we can all do that together." the group murmurs a mutual agreement but you remain silent, just observing and doing your best to not seem cold— and failing.
at some point you all finally part ways to get to work, sunoo and sunghoon going off on their own to do whatever it was, jake needing to take care of a patient— like jungwon or ni-ki from the junior enforcement team who went a little too hard during sparring. you're trying to get back into your old office but the new badge scanners prove to be an issue.
you've sighed 100 times in the last minute as you continue to be met with a buzzing red light every time your badge doesn't work.
"new badges will be given out later today. your previous badge will only work at the entrance and after your shift today it will no longer have access to anything in the building."
you're startled at the voice behind, jumping slightly to find jay standing a few feet away, hands folded behind his back and shoulders tall; gaze still unreadable.
"sorry— i didn't mean to creep up on you like that." he chuckles softly and for the first time his usual stoic face softens around the edges in a kind and unsuspecting smile.
"it's fine." you turn back around and try to scan your badge again and just like before, the buzzing red light emerges and denies you access— and that's when jay suddenly comes closer, shoulder slightly pressed against yours as his arm stretches around you, a badge of his own in his hands as he scans it and a green light beeps before the door to your office slides open.
you turn around to look at him and he's just staring at you, not in the type of way where he's waiting for a response or a thank you, but in the type of way where he was trying to read you, study you, and get to know you with just his eyes. no words exchanged but it was enough for jay to learn about you just from the way you stand a little too far, arms are tense, and the way your eyes flicker with a certain type of distaste.
"your new badge will be ready soon, yn. it's nice to meet you." jay reaches his hand out again for a handshake and you find yourself glancing down at his hand again.
just when jay thinks you're going to leave him hanging again, you reach out and place your hand into his, a solid grip with a singular shake to 'welcome' him. "—and jay?" his eyebrows raise in curiosity at the way you've said his name.
"it's dr. ln; and i'd appreciate it if you didn't have access to my office moving forward." you pull your hand away and retreat into your office— which has thankfully remained untouched. jay watches as your door slides closed, the small window into your office giving him enough vision of you're still standing there, eyes boring into with a gaze that says things should be left unspoken.
✶
"god— what the fuck– hello??" you let out what seemed to be the thousandth frustration filled sigh in the past hour. you've been on your computer in your office trying to look through your past documents and saved research to see where it was best to continue your study but unfamiliar protocols and programs have not only been put into place in the building but also the tech.
your computer asks for credentials almost at every checkpoint, even to open your own personal files, and there was no way to get around besides inputting the same string of 20 characters, an authentication test, and surpassing a pop up that wanted confirmation almost every 10 minutes.
it was tedious work that took up more of your time than actual work.
you tapped the side of your monitor in irritation and slumped back into your chair, it's wheels slightly rolling your backwards enough until the back hit the wall behind you with a soft thud. your eyes traveled to your old badge that was thrown haphazardly onto your desk after jay had left, his words about your new badge being ready rings in your head and as much as you didn't want to see him and just wanted to get work done, you figured it was the only thing getting in between you and your research.
with another frustrated sigh, you hauled yourself off of your chair, straightened out your lab coat and pushed your glasses up higher before making your way to the front office to ask if your badge was ready.
it had only been a little over an hour since you got there but if you had to beg— threaten even– someone to get your badge into your hands within the next 3 minutes, then you would. the walk from your office to speak to janice at the front desk was short but every step you took on the new floors felt like an uphill battle, like the facility you spent so many years in before was weirdly unfamiliar even if some of the changes were minor.
"hi janice—" you started, leaning elbows first onto the counter of her desk. "is my new badge ready? i've been running into so many complications trying to get access into my work stuff and my old badge isn't very helpful."
janice raises her head to respond, except it's not janice, it's a different lady who you didn't know and definitely didn't notice before when you got to work that day. "oh! i'm sorry, you're not janice—" you quickly apologize and the girl at the front desk laughs before responding.
"don't worry about it. i'm tina, janice actually left a few weeks ago and i'm her replacement."
you had no idea janice left and the fact that no one seemed to bat an eye at janice's departure was a bit strange to you since janice was practically known to be the most loved member of your whole facility. no one ever had issues with her, she was always kind, and often made baked goods for the whole office. you were a bit sad to know she was gone and made a mental note to reach out to her at some point when you've got the time.
"as for your badge, we actually need to you to meet with director park; he's made a notice of some of your information in our system being out of date and as for the new protocol we'll need you to update some things before we can get you that new badge."
tina's voice was calm but it didn't help with the burning frustration inside of you. great— another thing to have to get through that's just going to prolong your return to your research. none of these new protocols seemed to be doing anything but piss you off and now you have to spend more time with the one person you seem to have a grievance with despite only knowing him for less than 2 hours.
"i can schedule you an appointment to meet with director park, he's got an opening at— i'm good tina." you cut her off. she just smiles at you before getting back to work, hands moving quickly across her keyboard as she types out whatever it is onto her computer.
you give her a small thanks before walking off.
if you weren't going to get any work done today then you might as well familiarize yourself with the new protocols set in place— especially if they're proving to be more annoying than helpful like a certain director claims they are.
as you walk throughout the facility, you begin to notice small details that have changed and if you were to point them out to anyone, they'd probably call you crazy— like the way air feels different in different chambers, the fact that there were now less sanitizing stations, machines that usually made several sounds during startup and activity now made little to no sound out all, some parts of the facility were considerably colder than the rest— little things like that you noticed yet nobody else seemed to bat an eye at.
maybe you were just thinking too hard but if you were going to mention it to someone, there were two people at your job you knew would listen to you.
"the air is different? what are you gonna say that the walls smell different too?" jake jokes around as you gather in sunoo's office.
"shut up, jake. i'm being serious— like there are just certain things that feel… off." you tried to explain and jake just kept making jokes but sunoo gave you a comforting gaze.
"i get what you're trying to see, yn." he adds, patting your back.
"what? sunoo, you think the walls smell different too?" jake questions and you roll your eyes, "i don't think the walls smell different, i didn't even say that!" you begin to argue back but sunoo is quick to put a hand between you two.
"i'm going to be honest, i don't notice a lot of the differences that yn's pointed out but i do agree that there's something different here. maybe it's that jay is trying to make the environment different in some way, he did say things were going to change, so you're technically not wrong when you say that things are different now."
sunoo looks over at you and your eyes are glued to the floor, deep in though as you pondered on what sunoo just said.
"jay? you guys are on first name basis?" jake asks and sunoo throws a pencil at him, to which jake dodges and picks up, sticking a tongue out at the younger boy.
"well, he did say we can call him jay. i don't think he's too bad, he does look a little intimidating but i think he means well." sunoo adds. jake shifts across from you, crossing his legs as he sits down on the chair just a few feet away. "i don't know, something's off about that guy, can't quite put my finger on it but i feel it. he's probably a taurus or some shit."
you scoff at jake's remark, zodiac sign being completely irrelevant to the matter, "what? it's true, taurus men are like so intense." he says, hands out in front of him for emphasis that you nor sunoo are buying.
"whatever— i'm telling you guys, just watch." jake says, throwing his hands in the air in surrender before slumping backwards into the chair. your eyes went back to staring at the floor, mind simultaneously running with so many thoughts but also drawing blanks. "what's wrong, yn? why are you so worried about these changes?" sunoo asks.
"nothing— maybe i'm thinking too much about it…" you muttered and you could see out of the corner of your eye that jake and sunoo send each other glances but decide not to say anything.
"i'm gonna go— have to get some work done." you say, hopping off of sunoo's desk and heading towards the door.
"you gonna have lunch with us later?" jake asks and you turn around to them before leaving. "maybe? we'll see how much work i get done. bye guys— oh wait, did you guys know that janice left?" you stopped again just to add that last question, curious to see if they've noticed.
both boys nod and your brows furrow at their reaction.
"okay… bye!" you quickly made your exit and although their reaction didn't warrant any red flags, it still felt weird. why would janice just randomly leave? she always told you about how much she loved this job even if it was just simply working at the front desk. maybe something personal happened where she needed to leave but even then, you couldn't help but think that something was off.
you're mindlessly walking throughout the facility, trying to avoid noticing small changes and once again, failing. it's not until someone calls out from behind you that you're pulled out of your thoughts, your head swivels around to find the voice and it's none other than jay. head poking out of his office and his big eyes waiting for you to react.
"dr. ln, do you have time to meet with me right now?" he asks as he fully walks through his door, leaning onto the wall.
"you sure i don't need to make an appointment with tina first?" you try not to bite back but it's practically instinct. jay chuckles softly as he walks closer, hand slightly rubbing his chin as the other is placed on his hip, just above the brown leather belt tied around his slacks.
"dr. ln, you're a very decorated and intelligent scientist, i can assure you i'll always have time for you." his voice is smooth, no signs of a stutter, hesitation, his tone doesn't peak or drop— completely smooth.
"lead the way." is all you say before jay is turning around and letting you walk first, hand out in a gesture to allow for you to walk first, head slightly bowed. you don't know what to expect with jay, you thought you did when you first saw him earlier that morning but with this being your 3rd interaction, he's not exactly how you've expected him to be.
he's a lot calmer, quite warm, and gentle.
when you walk into his office the first thing that you notice was the temperature. it was cold and not in the type of cold that makes you tug your lab coat just a bit tighter around your body, but the type of cold where you can see your breath crystallize in front of you.
"is it always this cold where you're from?" you try to joke but you can sense jay slightly stiffen as he rounds the corner of his desk, taking a seat in his chair across from you. "certainly not. i just like having my space at this temperature." he answers as he straightens out his shirt.
there's no semblance of cold in jay however.
sure his face could give off that demeanor at first but it was more his reaction to the cold that you were focused on. you were rubbing your hands together, you could feel your skin get slightly stiffer, and your lips get drier; but jay? he was acting as if the temperature in his office was at a comfortable middle ground.
"is it too cold, dr. ln? i can adjust it for you if you'd like." jay offers and you're quick to decline. "there's no need for that. i'd like to just get my badge so i can continue my studies. it's been a month since and i'm behind on research and i'm going to need to start off on some and just hope the enforcement team is able to extract aliens so that i can continue where i left off."
jay just stares at you for a moment before he smiles and gets to typing on his computer. his fingers moved across the keyboard in a type of speed you hadn't seen before. sure, a lot of people were able to type quite fast, you included, but the longer you watched jay you began to notice that his fingers almost blurred at the speed he was typing.
"dr. ln–" he breaks you out of your thought and you make eye contact with him, thoroughly, and for the first time you're looking into his eyes without disdain or reluctance.
"ye– yes?" you stutter, eyes rapidly blinking at him.
"i hope you know i'm not here for any other reason but to make this place better. what happened one month ago could've been a lot worse and your quick thinking and bravery prevented it from being worse.
it's people like you that makes me hopeful. i want to make change and i'm sure you do too." you weren't sure where jay was going with this but you chose to remain silent, trying your best to not let your eyes squint at him in suspicion.
"so tell me, what is your goal, dr. ln?" he finishes his question by leaning forward onto his desk, elbows propped up as he rests his head onto his fists.
you can't help but notice his features when he got closer. the way his eyebrows anchored his face, the height of his nose paired with the curvature of his lips, and the way all of this almost draws you to his eyes; making you want to look into them.
for a second your eyes almost go unfocused and his pupils shift in shape but when you blink the blurriness away they've not changed at all.
"my goal?" you ask, a sudden wave of vulnerability washes over you and suddenly you're a little girl again being asked by endless adults what you were going to do now that you're whole family was gone.
your answer to these things never changed. ever since that day, you knew what you needed to do, and it was going to remain the same until you achieved that.
"my goal is remove every alien from the face of earth— and to make sure no other alien harms another human again." your voice came out icy and sharp, rivaling the temperature in the room and as you spoke, heat returned to your face like you were getting riled up just from that sentence alone.
"an interesting perspective, dr. ln— here's your badge." you stare at jay's hand which is yet again stretched forward but this time a rectangular piece of metal sits in it. he explains to you that this new badge will allow for you to have access to all authorized areas in the facility that's connected to your status within the team.
"it also has security measures to ensure that it can't be duplicated, a security encryption that will not only keep you safe but also the facility." jay adds.
"security measure? i don't think we need protection from people but aliens? definitely." you say while grabbing your badge from jay, hand slightly grazing his in the process.
"violence isn't the answer— i understand your past and i can assure you that nothing like that or the incident from a month ago will happen again. not under my watch." his remark made you angry, he was speaking like he knew the severity of what happened to you as a child and although it was public knowledge and you didn't care to hide it, no one will ever understand.
you stand up in haste before jay's even done speaking. "don't bring up my past again. i don't care what you think you know or what you've heard— i lived it and it's my purpose. thanks for the badge." was all you said before you walked out, lab coat floating effortlessly behind you and when you return to the hallway outside of jay's office and his door slides behind you, you feel like you can finally let out of breath of relief.
the warmth from outside finally returning as you try to shake away the cold air that clung to your skin like ice.
you didn't fully understand what this interaction was with jay. it felt like such an odd push and pull but only by you. jay didn't do anything to make you want to push nor pull, but you were doing it anyway, like you were doing it out of your own will because he just managed to bring that reaction out of you with the way he spoke or looked at you.
you tried to shake the frustration out of your head but it only gave you a slight headache, your vision doubling as you lose balance, leaning onto the wall beside you for support and just when you think you're about to lose consciousness, a pair of hands find your waist and raise you in support.
"dr. ln? can you hear me?" he asks and when you try to look up at him, your vision fails you. black and white spots fill your vision as objects continue to multiply and when you can't respond coherently, jay takes it upon himself to carry you— scooping your legs with one arm and the other securely across your back. his legs swiftly move to the med bay with ease, carefully setting you down on one of the beds before calling out for a doctor.
by now you've lost consciousness, jay doesn't leave your side as jake arrives, worry on his face when he sees you on his hospital bed once again. "what's wrong, director park?" he says in a rush, pulling his stethoscope over from his shoulders and into his ears as he carefully listens for your heartbeat.
jay explains that he found you passed out in the corridor outside of his office, choosing to omit any information aside from that.
"i can take care of her, director park. thank you for bringing her here." jake adds as he begins to run a few tests on you and when jay doesn't budge from his spot next to you, jake looks up at him.
"don't you have a facility to run? i can take it from here." jake adds, turning back to you as his fingers gently press across your arm to find a good place to insert an IV drip. "you're a great doctor, thank you for taking care of everyone, dr. sim." jay smiles at him and jake's guard is instantly down. whatever animosity he had towards jay had melted away just from the singular sentence. in all honesty he had no idea why he was so against jay in the first place, maybe he was just intimidated by another handsome face in the office or maybe it was just the gut feeling he had that he couldn't really explain.
either way, jake gave jay a reassuring nod before the director left, leaving jake to look after you once again and to try to figure out what made you faint. "come on, yn… what's going on with you?" he whispers to himself as he carefully sets up the IV drip.
jay watches from a distance, observing jake in his environment without getting noticed, taking note of how close you and jake must be, how he seems to care for you a lot more than other people at the facility, and how jake's heartbeat sped up tenfold when he saw you on the hospital bed. the way small beads of sweat appeared on jake's forehead and slid across the worry on his brows, or the way he was so quick to figure out what was wrong, and the way jake seemed protective over you.
it wasn't hard to notice, jay saw all of these things without even having to use his alien abilities but with his heightened hearing, the sound of jake's blood rushing through his body in a sea of worry at the state you were in was like putting a conch up to your ear and hearing the waves of the ocean.
loud and clear.
✶
when your eyes open you're met with a wave of de-ja vu as the bright lights of the medical wing are the first things you see. your head is slightly aching but definitely not in the same way it was before you fainted— everything before then was blurry and the last thing you remembered was hobbling into the hallway.
"second time this month—" jake says as he walks over to you. "i'm starting to think you're fainting on purpose just because you like being taken care of." he continues as he grabs his holo-pad, a piece of technology like a holographic tablet, on a stand next to you, jotting down some numbers as he checks the monitor you're currently hooked up to.
you scoff at his joke before asking him what happened and how long you've been out.
"yn… it's been a week since you fainted.." jake sighs and his eye droop just a tad when he tells you. at first you blink at him, how could you have fainted and been asleep for a whole week without any specific reason, but shortly after because jake is jake, a shit eating grin breaks out onto his face and you figure out he's joking. "nah, i'm fucking with you. you were only out for like an hour."
you reach over to try to punch him in the shoulder but he's quick to dodge your attempt.
"you missed lunch— had to sit through sunoo and sunghoon be a couple all by myself." he says with a forced pout and all you can do is roll your eyes. "you're just jealous they're in love and you're single." you mutter and he feigns offense. "well, there is this smart and pretty scientist at me job…" jake starts and you're quick to cut him off.
"not happening, sim."
"— you didn't let me finish. i was going to say, but she's too busy studying aliens and making fun of me to date." he continues and the two of you share a quick laugh. "i told you, i don't have time for dating when i've got my research— plus dating in the workplace gets messy, sunoo and sunghoon only work because everyone is scared of sunghoon." jake agrees as he finishes the last of his check up, quickly letting you know that he'll grab you some pain killers for your headache and you're good to go.
"i mean, i could give you scary dog privileges. that's practically what sunghoon is to sunoo."
you give him a deadpanned look but you silently agreed in your head.
"please, you're more like a stray dog that follows me around for food." you say while sitting up as jake takes out your IV drip and carefully bandages you.
"you wound me, dr. ln…"
again, the two of you share a laugh but there's a part of you that isn't 100% sure that jake is joking and a part of jake that wished you knew he was partially serious.
but you're right, workplace romance does get messy and after all of these instances where he's had to look after you on his hospital bed, it would only hurt more if your last name mirrored the one he had.
"am i all good to go, dr. sim?" you ask, raising your brows at him tauntingly and he playfully rolls his eyes at you before saying yes. adding that he'll have your painkillers brought to your office later and to take it easy on whatever you're doing that got you fainting. he figured it's just your mind taking on too much after a month off work and you may've just overworked yourself on the first day back and although you weren't completely sure that was the reason, you settled with it anyway.
"by the way, you might want to give director park a visit." jake adds just as you're about to leave. you turn around with a slight furrow in your brow, unsure of why jay was suddenly brought up, especially since the last time jake talked about him, he was agreeing that jay was slightly… off.
"why?"
"he's the one who brought you here."
oh.
you weren't aware of that. hell, you weren't even aware what made you faint in the first place. although your memory was still a bit hazy, you were starting remember that you did meet with jay just before you fainted in the hallway, your new badge tucked safely into your pocket proves as evidence of when you met with him. "right!" you said, a little too loud like you were trying to convince jake you knew that.
"thanks jake! see you around." you wave him off, quickly getting out of there so he wouldn't ask about your strange behavior and to jake, you were being strange indeed.
he brushes it off with a chuckle and a shake of his head, gathering new and clean supplies to replace the dressing on the hospital bed you were just on. jake smiles to himself at your relationship with him. sure, he wanted something more but he respected you enough to not push especially because of how much he knew you were dedicated to your work.
but it didn't mean he couldn't wish that love would find him in ways he's always hoped.
✶
for the next week or so, as you try to return back to your usual routine at work while adjusting to all of the new protocols that jay has set in place, you've also tried your best to avoid him but it proves all too well that wouldn't be possible when he just seemed to not only be everywhere but also appearing out of thin air.
no one ever notices when jay walks into a room not because he's not of significance, but simply just from the fact that he's light on his feet and very quiet. sometimes people only notice he's there when they actually see him or he speaks up, usually followed by a "you startled me" or something similar to that phrase.
when sunoo asked about why he's so quiet or how he's able to make such little noise, he explained that it was from his training at a military base where his commander focused on stealth rather than brute strength and almost instantly, sunghoon's ears perked up.
"yeah but strength is good. if you get caught being quiet how will you get out of that?" he asked and jay answered, "i don't get caught." before walking out of the cafeteria, an orange in his hand halfway peeled.
"he's so cool…" sunghoon whispered and everyone at the lunch table rolled their eyes at him. sunoo making a comment about how if he thought jay was so cool then he should go date him and sunghoon could only pout before he continued to eat his protein heavy and light on flavor lunch.
it was the end of the week when jay was able to finally catch you alone.
every other time you managed to slip past him before he could pull you to the side for a one on one, when he sent you emails to ask if you had any availability to have a meeting you'd show him your calendar that was filled minute to minute, and if he tried to strike up conversation during lunch you would just change the topic or keep your answers minimal.
you're back to working late at night, it's 3am when jay creeps up on you in the new laboratory that was built after the incident. new safety measures, new equipment, it was bigger and like most things lately, it was different; but you didn't mind it. it was one of the things you appreciated that came with the changes, it allowed you to be more efficient with your work and you found yourself getting more done with all of the new tech.
"working late, dr. ln?" he asks as he stands just a few feet behind you.
"jesus fuck!" you jump at the sudden voice. you turn around to find jay sliding on sterile gloves over his hands before he walks over to you.
"sorry, didn't mean to scare you." he apologizes as he stops right next to you. you can feel him watching as you organize the test tubes with various alien dna, writing down observations onto your holo-pad. "you don't scare me— is there anything i can do for you jay?" you ask, not bothering to raise your head at him as you continue to work even with him in the room even if you preferred for him not to be.
"do we have a problem dr. ln?"
this definitely makes you raise your head to look at him.
he's got the same unreadable expression on his face, his eyes occasionally blink at you as he waits for a response, and you almost feel bad, like you've treated him like shit since he got here and that question alone has made you question who you were as a person.
you knew you weren't the most friendly or the most kind, but were you unwelcoming? and the type of person to make others uncomfortable? you didn't want to admit it but you already knew the answer to that without having to give it much thought.
"n– no. no we don't, jay." you clear your throat awkwardly and jay smiles after.
"great. i was starting to think you hated me." he laughs with a sigh. you didn't hate him. at least you don't think so. maybe you're just not good with change and that's what jay was. change. he appeared out of no where— like he usually does— and things started to change. sure, it's been a week and the changes have proven to be quite helpful in the grand scheme of things but change wasn't easy for everyone.
change is the reason why you were so devoted to your research.
how your family changed from 4 to 1.
how you changed from a daughter to an orphan.
and how you changed from happy to whatever you were now.
"i'm sorry…" was all you could say and by the expression on jay's face, you could tell you caught him off guard. he wasn't expecting an apology and neither were you. "i just wasn't expecting all of these changes to happen after being away for a month and i'm not going to lie it caught me off guard but they've been more helpful than not.
i'm sorry if i seemed like i was unwelcome to you and… i'll try my best to be a better colleague— director park."
jay wasn't looking for this type of response. he wasn't sure what he was looking for actually, he just walked into the laboratory because he felt like it and you just happened to be here. jay liked to wander the halls of the facility sometimes, he'd visit the containment facility where aliens were kept when they aren't being actively worked on. he would sometimes even talk to them but never for too long and all under the guise of "research".
he couldn't get caught spending too much time with the aliens, afraid that it'll raise some red flags with people even if the field he does work in involves aliens.
not a single person or alien on planet earth knew that jay was an alien.
he hid it well and he planned to keep it that way.
no one's ever gotten close to figuring him out and he wasn't going to let that happen.
"you can still call me jay. director park is too formal and makes me look like a hardass." he says with a soft chuckle. jay was weirdly calm and comfortable with you— not that he was standoff-ish to everyone else but with you there was a certain type of ease even jay himself wasn't sure where it was coming from.
you took note of his easy going attitude around you despite you giving a cold welcome and tucked it away in the back of your mind where you kept details about people that you felt like would add reason later on. you forced yourself to smile at him even if you didn't need to, you met his warm eyes with a soft gaze and awkwardly raised the corners of your lips before returning your attention to the glass tubes in front of you.
"you're a very hard worker, dr. ln. i admire your dedication to this facility— you know i've heard of you way before i even switched over to this branch. you're quite popular among the higher ups for being the young and determined scientist whose got a keen eye for detail and a sharp tongue— that paired with a mind like yours you're easily the smartest person in this whole operation; not just this division." jay was speaking like he was telling you things you didn't know about yourself.
but he was wrong.
you knew how smart you were, you knew how much smarter you were than everyone else, and you knew full and well that your capabilities was a driving force within this whole ordeal— you just never said it out loud because arrogance was something you didn't need to add to the lengthy list of things snotty old male scientist already didn't like about you.
"sounds like i'm not the only one doing research. tell me, jay— do you look into all of your employees like this or am i the special one?" you raise one brow like you're halfway teasing and halfway trying to figure out why he knew so much about you and was reciting it to you like it was a commandment. "the latter" he simply puts and the two of you move in unison to a different side of the lab where there's machines and monitors that receive and store all of the data across several compositions within each division.
"and i don't like that word." jay pauses for a second as he pulls out a stool for you to sit on, right next to him. you look down at the chair and up at him then back at the chair before you take a seat, muttering a small thank you as you begin typing out observations into a never ending document. "employee— makes it seem like i'm way above all of you." he continues and once again you're raising your brow at him.
"you basically are. you're our boss, hence the 'director' in your title." you shake your head with a breathy chuckle and jay kept help but laugh alongside you because you were right. he was technically your boss but he wasn't ever one for superiority and hierarchy, it left a sour taste in his mouth.
"you me there but let's drop titles, hm? i want this to be a team not a pyramid, i don't care who is on top or the bottom, we should all be working together towards a better cause. plus— we're all equal here, aren't we?" he says with a shrug and you turn to him and just stare for a moment.
equal.
you knew that was the furthest from the truth, especially in a place where they treat seniority like a shiny badge on their chest that's an instant pass to authority to those below them rather than fair leadership.
"i don't know about equal but i guess i can be okay with dropping titles. you're very eager for that anyway and as my boss— who am i to argue?" you're teasing him and jay doesn't realize this at first until you're bursting out in laughter. "relax— it was a joke. thought we were easing up, jay?" you ask and he finally catches on, laughing alongside you but just a little too loud and a little too eager.
like he didn't fully understand the joke but laughed anyway.
"right. easing up! i hope we can continue making jokes together, yn!" he says almost as if he's never heard a joke before and he's excited for more to come. maybe jay wasn't as bad as you thought, a simple conversation like this was enough to get you to open to him— albeit barely— and it was… nice?
you hadn't made a friend in a while, all your friends worked with you, and now add jay, you were starting to be okay with the idea of having him around. weirdly enough it didn't take long for you to warm up to him but you figured it was better to do that than constantly push back, that wouldn't get you very far.
for the next few hours you and jay get to talking and weirdly enough, you both have quite a lot in common. you shared a lot of the same hobbies which consisted of staying indoors and lounging at home, both enjoy the same type of music, and even liked the same type of food.
it was a bit weird because you were the one stating the subject and jay would smile widely before saying he agreed or 'me too' in an enthusiastic voice. it was weird but not weird to the point where you thought he was lying, just weird in the type of way where you never expected to have so much in common with him.
neither of you realize how late is it until you yawn and jay checks the time and it reads 5am. the two of you are quite shocked how late— or early?— it was and it was like time just seemed to pass by so quickly the more the two of you got to talking and working together. jay wasn't doing much work, he'd do a little of logistical work every now and then, give you a hand in some research but for the most part he was kind of just there to be in your presence.
he didn't mind it though. he was really enjoying being around and getting to know more about you. it was a complete 180 from the way your first interaction went and he was grateful it took a turn for the better.
"yn– it's late, you should head home." he suggests and you're finishing your yawn and blinking the exhaustion away when you decide to agree. you nod, telling him that you're a lot more tired than you thought and although you wanted to work even more, jay used his 'boss powers' –his word not yours– to tell you to clock out for the day and to take the weekend to rest up.
"can't have my best employee too tired." he said, gently nudging you with his elbow. you furrowed your brows at him and he immediately straightened himself up as if you were the one in a position of authority. "it was joke! right? i thought we were making jokes with each other now?"
you can hear the panic in his voice just as clear as you can see it on his face.
"i'm just messing with you, jay. yes, we're making jokes now." it sounded weird coming out of your mouth. "and yeah, i should head home. i'll just finish up here and make sure i've got everything secured before i leave."
"no— i can do that. you can barely keep your eyes open, you've rubbed them four times in the last ten minutes. go home, yn— i'll close up." you try to protest but he's practically shoo-ing you out of the laboratory, telling you that you have nothing to worry about and he'll take care of everything before leaving for the night. "i've got it, yn. don't worry." he says with a reassuring smile and just like most things throughout the night, you're weirdly inclined to listen to him and believe that he's got it handled.
the walk from your office to the reception to the parking lot to your car and then the drive home felt longer than it should've. sleep was heavy on your mind but the only thing you've managed to put in front of that was jay.
you didn't expect for tonight to go this way and frankly, you didn't expect a lot of things when it came to jay overall, but here you were now, settling into your bed for the night even though it's almost six in the morning. you've got your blanket pulled up towards your chin and the silk of your pajamas hugged gently across your body and you've only got one thing on your mind before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.
how much you were looking forward to monday and seeing jay again.
✶
the weekend goes by quite fast and suddenly it's monday and you've got a weird excitement in your step as you walk out of your car and through the parking garage. the usual hum of the elevator fills your ears and there's a tiny smile on your lips as you think about the work week when really you're just in denial about looking forward to seeing jay again.
you're so in your head about things that you almost don't notice the blaring red light and booming alarms that fill the facility until you're further into the building. your eyes widen in a controlled type of panic when you see the emergency erupting through the facility.
your mind is instantly trying to piece things together about what is going on. with the way this feels like an urgent matter, there was a lack of people running in a panic. you quickly scanned your badge to be let it, pushing through the security gate and running throughout the facility to see what's going on.
the first place you think of looking is sunoo's office as you try to remember if you saw sunoo's car in the garage.
your feet pads through the red filled halls with haste as you try to get to sunoo's office when a pair of hands suddenly grab your arms and drags you into a random room. a shriek threatens to slip past your lips but a hand quickly covers your mouth as the door shuts behind you. you turn to face who was responsible and come face to face with jay who has now let go of your arm and brought a finger to his lips, encouraging you to remain silent.
"what is going on?" you ask in a hushed voice when he removes his hand from your face, skin cold to the touch. jay explains that a category 5 alien has broken out of the chambers and is now running rampant throughout the facility. "thankfully i got here just as it happened and there wasn't a lot of people here— did you not receive the alert i sent to all personnel?"
you shake your head and you can see the way his face hardens in a protective type of way. like he was now devoted to keeping you safe and out of harms way.
"which alien is it?"
"Tyran-X13"
it sends shivers down your spine. a type of fear that you only remember feeling years ago. the tyran-x13 was an alien species that was captured long ago and bared similarities to it's predecessor, the tyrannosaurus rex. an alien species was able to absorb it's DNA from the fossil of a t-rex that was stolen from a museum before you were even born.
through advanced alien technology and years of breeding on a planet far far away from earth, they were able to adapt the t-rex dna into their own and evolve into the dangerous predators they were now. not only were they extremely violent and cunning, but they had a type of consciousness that stood as a challenge for not only humanity— but also other alien species.
they were so dangerous that they had their own chamber in the alien wing, where alien's are held in captivity. there's an extensive security measure to get close to them and there's a team of 10 enforcement officers guarding the chamber at all times. you can only imagine that if it broke out, then that means the guards are long gone.
hoping that it meant they escaped rather than the more morbid— and obvious— assumption.
"why are you hiding in here? is no one from the main enforcement team coming?" you asked him as you settled across from jay, leaning back onto a wall behind you.
jay explains that sunghoon's enforcement team are doing scans of the building and slowly making their way throughout the whole facility to find the alien— but it's been almost an hour and more enforcement has yet to arrive even after jay called for them.
it didn't make sense.
someone of jay's authority could instantly have a whole army at his call if he needed. that's how decorated and respected he was as a director— yes, you did your own research over the weekend— and yet they were taking their sweet time like this wasn't the biggest threat any facility has seen in years.
"we have to make another call— there's no way we can just sit here while that thing is probably picking off the officers one by one. if sunghoon gets hurt in any type of way sunoo will be devastated and i can't handle seeing my best friend like that." you try to get up and slip out of the small room but jay's hand grabs onto your wrist to stop you.
"don't try to stop me— i have to do something." you plead and he pulls you back down with a persistent grip. "i agree, yn. i've been hiding out here because sunghoon said he can't afford for the director to get hurt but now that you're here we can work together to help them, but we need a plan. we can't just go out there without any preparation. for all we know it can be waiting around the corner for us.
we've got to work together."
you nod at his words and they somehow manage to calm you down. you were starting to feel the panic in your chest but with jay by your side and his oddly cold touch— you were able to breathe slower and think clearer.
"okay— here's what we'll do." you say after giving it a short thought.
you told jay about how you didn't see anyone on the main floor and there weren't any signs of the alien like scratch marks of any kind or the scent of sulfur— the alien's natural scent when it's hunting; which is practically all the time.
"we can make our way back to the front office, use the direct line at tina's desk to call for help and then use the elevator to get out of here. i'll use the intercom to notify sunghoon and his team of the plan and hopefully they'll know to just leave instead of trying to find that thing.
i don't want to run from this but i'm thinking that if we face it head on we'll lose more people than we know we've already lost."
jay watches as you wrap your mind around the situation. the way your glasses hang low on your nose as the lens frames your sharp eyes and fluttering lashes, he takes note of the way you use your middle finger to push them up higher as you continue explaining your plan. how you can easily curate a plan with the lack of information you had about the circumstance and the way your hard exterior seemed to crack into a protective barrier.
in a lot of ways your walls that you've placed around yourself was that protective barrier, he was just lucky enough to not have to break them down as you let him in freely. he admired how fast your mind worked, the way your eyes darted side to side as you were in deep thought, and the way you bit down on your lip after you said something risky like separating momentarily to clear the entire floor just in case anyone else was still here.
"jay— are you listening?" there's an edge to your voice. urgency and… fear?
he was trying to pick up on your emotions but your face was always unreadable. it's why jay was so adamant to speaking with you. he's never met anyone like you before and the best way to learn about anything is just talking, observing, and listening.
jay nods and reassures you that he understood everything. just before the two of you leave the room he grabs your wrist again, gentler this time, you look down at his icy hand on your skin and look up at him. "be safe, yn. please." is all he says before he's pushing himself in front of you, clearing the hallway before pulling you out with him, keeping you safely tucked to his side with a direct will power and singular goal: get you out of here safely.
the halls are filled with a terrifying red light, the alarm has consistently continued blaring, and an unnerving danger coated the walls which each careful step you and jay took. your feet moved in a quiet unison, urgency and caution with each breath as uncertainty of where danger lurked remained consistent.
you figured since jay was naturally a leader with the way he's kept you behind him, acting like the first point of contact if anything were to jump at the two of you, but what lingered on your mind aside from survival was his steadiness.
he didn't flinch, his breath remained controlled, and not once did it feel like he was afraid. worried? sure. uneasy? maybe. afraid? definitely not. your eyes would occasionally wander behind you to make sure nothing what creeping up on the two of you but each time you ended up turning back around, your eyes would land on the way jay's kept his fingers laced with yours.
this was the most contact you've had with anyone that wasn't jake who was patching you up from an injury.
it felt all too surreal in the situation the two of you were in right now but there wasn't a lot of time to give a thought as the hallway finally opened into a clearing and the front office was just a few feet away.
you and jay quickly go to working on the plan. scouting the area to make sure it was safe and there wasn't anyone else hiding. jay took it upon himself to clear surrounding rooms and areas where people could be hiding while you made your way to tina's desk, quickly punching in your code into a device and setting off a transmitter that would notify the main site of the breakout and call for urgency to send over reinforcement.
"all clear— there's no one on the floor." jay says as he rounds a corner just as you're picking up the microphone to announce to sunghoon the plan, hopefully he and his team— and anyone else who could possibly still be here will know what to do.
"wait!" jay says, reaching forward and stopping your from pressing the open mic button.
"what? what's wrong?" you ask and he explains that the alien is going to hear the announcement since it will play throughout the whole building and because of it's heightened intelligence there's a very strong chance that the alien will make it's way to the front exit and block anyone else who tries to escape. "fuck— you're right…" the two of you stand without another word as you try to think of another solution.
"i've got it." you say, meeting jay's eyes.
"with the alarms still going on, if we mix it with a low pitched frequency sound together it'll temporarily impair the alien's hearing." you explain and jay instantly catches. "that way after the sound has played for long enough you can send out the message without worrying about the alien hearing it. yn, you're a genius!" jay says enthusiastically, almost reaching forward to pull you in for a triumphant hug but he ultimately stops himself.
"exactly— except where are we going to find something that gives out a low frequency?"
road block. again.
"yn, you know this building better than i do. there must be something we can use." jay speaks over the alarms and although it's hard to hear him, his voice is clear enough to get you thinking. he's right, there has to be something but you aren't able to think as straight as you want with the sirens still on. "okay— change of plans. we turn off the alarms and head to security wing. there's a log in the main computer that shows when the last time a door is opened to each division of the facility.
we turn off the sirens with your authority bypass, monitor the log to figure out where anyone else could be, and then we exit through the southern exit. it's on the other side of the building but it's the only plan we've got now."
jay's eyes wander around for a moment as he thinks yet his face remains unreadable as always. you can't tell what he's thinking except the fact that he's got something he wants to say. "what? you don't think it's a good idea?" you ask and wipes his hand across his jaw before speaking.
"it's not that it's just— we can leave. it's sunghoon's job, it's the enforcement team's job to take care of this. they're meant to protect us, the exit is right there; we can leave."
your eyes furrow at him in disbelief. you couldn't believe the director of all things was encouraging you to turn your back on your team. sure, all you really cared about was sunghoon but at the end of the day you aren't as heartless as many like to believe. you care deeply, you just choose not to show that, and the last thing you're going to do is abandon people who need help when all your life that itself has plagued your existence.
"i don't know how you do things where you came from director park but i'm not abandoning anyone. you can either stay here or leave or— you can come with me and do the right thing." you don't know where this courage is coming from because in all honesty you knew your plan was risky. roaming the building while a dangerous alien was on the loose was practically a death sentence but the guilt you've harbored your whole life was heavy in your chest and you felt as though this was the only thing you could do.
you brush past jay but he grabs your wrist again to stop you just like before.
"director park, let me go— jay." he cuts you off with a low and stern voice. "it's jay. stop calling me director park. i'll go with you but the second this gets more dangerous it is now as your director i'm using my authority and dragging you out here myself. i can't lose you."
his words weigh more than they should. what did he mean he can't lose you? you've barely known each other for that long and the way he's determined to keep you protected even if you were once so cold to him. "fine— let's go." is all you say as you tug your arm out of his grip and get to moving to the south wing where the security division is.
it's tucked away all the way on the opposite end of the facility because it's much closer to where the aliens are held in confinement but as of lately, the idea of having the enforcement team somewhere more convenient for the whole building was starting to make more sense.
the way to the security wing is long and awkward. there's something hanging between you and jay. something that remained unsaid but you weren't sure who it should be uttered from. you're constantly keeping your head on a swivel, occasionally ducking into hidden spaces or behind corners when something feels a little too risk. carefully checking corners before entering another hall and keeping your footsteps quick and light— and eventually, you arrive at the security wing with jay close by.
"okay, you turn off the sirens and i'll check the logs." you instruct and jay follows along like you're the one in charge. jay scans his badge and inputs a string of characters into a holographic keypad while you scan your badge on the opposite side of him into the computer. your finger moves across the screen as you look for the logs within the last hour and there you find that the last entrances that were active are the one at the front— you and jay, the scanners near the medical wing and the scanner in the central tech unit.
your brows furrowed at the second log.
why was there a recent entry at the entrance. something got scanned in that area meaning there was someone there and unless it was sunghoon or any other enforcement team member, there was no reason to be down there unless…
"shit."
"why? what's wrong, yn?" jay asks and you show him the log.
"someone recently entered the tech unit— 2 minutes ago. i don't want to jump to conclusions but i doubt the enforcement team will waste time checking such a small space, which means it could possibly be the alien."
"what does that mean? why is that a problem, yn?"
before you can answer the lights in the whole building and the sirens all shut down. "fuck! that wasn't me!" jay groans as he continues pressing codes into the machine.
"jay— it's the alien. it's been looking for the tech unit so it can malfunction the building's wiring and leaves all of us with no tech— meaning all security doors are open." every cell that kept the alien's behind bars was now left unlocked and it also meant locking features on doors no longer worked, which meant that the very room you and jay were in could easily be opened by an alien.
jay opens his mouth to speak but a loud shrieking noise echos through the vents about the two of you before he has the opportunity to. you move your finger in front of your lips to let jay know to be quiet because that sound alone let you know that not only an alien was nearby but a dangerous alien at that.
the screech comes from a category 3 alien. it's nature isn't inherently violent however in high stress situations and unfamiliar terrain, it actives it's defense mechanism that's stored inside of it's gullet. this alien doesn't bare any comparisons or relation to an animal species from earth. it comes from a planet light years away from earth that's only been visited one time before being deemed to dangerous to land on.
why?
sound doesn't exist there. the alien species that inhabit that planet never make noise because of wave interference that completely eliminates the sound based on it's frequency. the planet itself is alive and any deliberate sound that's made, the land will counteract that sound to cancel it out but the alien species on that planet have adapted throughout the years and as their species began to hunt and gain more cognitive abilities, they developed their high pitched shrieking as not only as a way to hunt and protect, but communication.
their screeches can range in pitch, frequency, volume, all of it. meaning that they can control how loud it goes and you've seen the way the they've killed test subjects like rats and snakes when they sense danger and right now, although they are a danger to you and jay.
you are just as much a danger to them.
"yn— stay here. i'm going to see if i can find sunghoon or anyone from the enforcement team towards the medical wing and we'll come back for you. barricade the door and don't let anyone in unless it's me." jay instructs and you're about to protest when your vision suddenly gets blurry, shadows and minimal light blend together and jay's face is barely recognizable. "you can't go out there, it's too dangerous." you mumble.
jay grabs hold of your shoulders and rubs your arms gently, "i'll be fine. yn, as your director i command you to stay here and if you leave this room i won't have any choice but to terminate your involvement at this facility."
"you can't do that. jay we need to stick together, what if something happens to you before you can even find sunghoon?"
"trust me, yn. nothing is going to happen to me. please just stay here, i promise this will be over soon— just stay here. please say it."
"i— okay. i'll stay here."
he gives your arms a tender squeeze before heading towards the door but you call out for him just before he can leave. "jay— please be careful." your vision is back to normal and you can clearly see the way jay's face softens at your words. again, you find yourself unsure of why you're not only so warm to jay all of a sudden but there were more pressing issues than unidentified emotions between you and jay.
"i will, yn. don't worry about me."
✶
it's been about 10 minutes— or so you think, none of the technology in the room work anymore except for the small emergency light that outlines the ceiling in a low soft blue color. you barricaded the door with file cabinets, chairs, and whatever else you could find. it probably didn't provide much defense but at least you'll know if someone was trying to get in if the objects started to move.
you've probably let out a sigh every minute that jay has been gone. you don't know why you're so worried about him especially if you were so unwelcome to him just some time ago. why were you so suddenly so at ease around him? there was a weird magnetic pull that you felt with jay and the more you recall your interactions, you can remember that feeling at each one except for the very first time you met.
you didn't understand it.
jay was the first person to make you feel at ease and warm— you didn't even mean to feel that way towards him. sunoo and jake took some time to get you to even agree to eating lunch with them and yet you feel so familiar with jay in the short time you've known him.
there was a certain type of aura that surrounded jay. it was like he had a way of making you comply and listen to him. you were so against him at first but after just simple moments with him like chatting in the lab, you find yourself wanting to not only get to know more about him, but to be around him more often too.
the only way you could describe it was weird.
jay was weird. you're weird. your emotions are weird. all of this is so weird.
"get it together, yn ln." you say, lightly slapping your forehead with yet another sigh.
you're restless inside of the room that's meant to protect you but all you have on your mind is worry. anxiety was building inside of you the longer jay was gone and just when you were about to say fuck it and leave the room, a soft knock can be heard at the door.
"yn! it's jay, open up!" he says and you feel a wave of relief wash over you but before you could begin to move the objects blocking the door, the hairs on the back of your neck suddenly perk up, raising a red flag in your mind.
you slowly begin to back away from the door, fearing that the thing calling out from behind you isn't jay at all. you remain silent, afraid that it'll suddenly react violently if it hears you and judging from the assumption you have that this could be the copycat alien that has been in your custody for years, you could only imagine that animosity it has against you.
it was rude, played mind games with it's ability to shape shift into any living creature it's seen even for only one second, and can copy their voice.
unluckily for you, you aren't paying attention when you back away and knock over an object on the desk, causing the alien behind the door to bang on the door to be let in. "dr. ln i know you're in there! i've known you long enough to be able to hear your breathing pattern. i can hear the blood inside of you flowing through your veins— dr. ln i know it's you. LET ME IN." it's violent thrashing against the door is getting harder and harder and there was nothing you could use inside of the room to protect yourself.
you were beginning to feel just as helpless as you felt when you were a little girl all those years ago and that anxiety was beginning to boil over in bubbling rage.
the rattling at the door suddenly comes to a halt and there's only silence left. you begin to carefully walk towards the door again, hand slowly reaching forward for to move the objects out of the way but a voice calls out to you again. "yn! it's me. i promise it's me please, it's safe now. i promise."
it's jay.
or is it?
"i killed it— it's not out here anymore i promise." there was different tremble in his voice. you really couldn't decipher whether it was jay or the alien until another voice can be heard from the other side of the door.
sunghoon's.
"yn, it's clear. we're here to get you and get out of here. we need to go." his voice was stern and low, like the sunghoon you knew and although you couldn't decide if there was any inkling in your body that it couldn't be sunghoon, you chose to push aside the objects blocking the door and pull it open.
outside stood jay.
and only jay.
"shit—" suddenly hands are pressed against your throat and you're being slammed against a wall and raised into the air.
"fool." the alien says before shifting into it's natural appearance. prickly green skin with scales that are constantly moving in waves across it's muscles.
"let me go." you choke out as your hands grab onto the alien's wrist to try to pull yourself away but you prove to be much weaker than the creature. it laughs in your face with bitterness, flashing it's sharp teeth. "where's the fun in that, dr. ln? i've waited for this moment for years.
to get my hands on your human neck and squeeze tighter and tighter until the life slowly seeps out of your eyes. you and all those scientists tested on me until i could barely recognize myself anymore— do you know how hard that is for my kind?
you guys stole so much from me; it's only fair i do the same."
the grip gets tighter around your neck and you could feel your eyes beginning to bulge out of their sockets and breathing was beginning to feel like a far option. you try battering at it's arms, reaching for it's face to scratch at it but it just pretends to bite at you, laughing when you pull away in fear.
"keep trying little human. seeing your fight for survival disappear will make you taste all the better." their kind weren't even carnivores and yet the treatment they've received from the studies and research has driven it to resort to a savage violence that's uncommon in their nature.
utterly destroyed from their natural being and shaped into a violent creature because of they were treated by society, scientists— you.
"hey!" a voice shouts from the side and you both turn your heads to find jay standing there, eyes glowing red in a fiery glare as he rushes forward, tentacles breaking through the skin on his back and attacking the alien that's choking you half to death.
the alien's grip finally lets go of you and you fall to the ground gasping for air, hands reaching for your throat to soothe the pain as jay lunges forward against the alien. he uses his dark purple tentacles that reflect like silver and fights off the alien, clearly stronger as he tears the alien apart with ease, bright yellow blood splattering against the walls and on his skin as the alien who previously tried to kill you was nothing but lifeless pieces of muscle on the ground.
you're still trying to catch your breath when jay turns towards you, his once red eyes instantly dulling down and tentacles retreat back into his back like nothing.
that's when you realized something— the tentacles look more familiar than you were comfortable with.
"it's you… you're— you're the alien that killed my family." you say while scrambling on the floor, trying to create more distance between you and jay as he walks over to you like everything was normal. he was back to normal— but you're never getting the sight of his tentacles out of your head no matter how hard you tried.
"no– no! yn that wasn't me, i swear to you i would never hurt anyone you love. i just— fuck! i couldn't let that thing kill you, i'm sorry." jay was pleading to you like he was the one at your mercy but as he stood— towered— over you while your body trembled on the ground beneath him, there was a clear difference in power, titles aside.
"get the fuck away from me. you're a monster!" you began to shout, finally able to get on your feet so you can create more distance between the two of you but jay is relentless. he's got nothing but remorse on his face and for the first time you can read his expression.
it was almost like he was guilty. for what exactly? the fact that he was an alien and lied to you and probably countless others? or the fact that he had to expose himself.
"i promise you i'm not like all of them. yes, i'm an alien but i've never killed a human before, you have to believe. i'm not the alien that killed your family but it was my species. you have every right to be angry— angry?" your voice cuts him off like a blade.
"angry is the least of my emotions. you lied! you betrayed my trust, how fucking dare you try to plead for forgiveness when you stood in my face and looked me in the eyes while you told me yourself you knew what happened to my family.
what your kind did to my family.
you must be out of your mind if you think i have any other choice but to turn you in."
you can see the frustration on jay's face at your disgust towards him. it wasn't supposed to go this way. jay wasn't even meant to fall in love with you— that was the furthest thing he wanted. he didn't even know what love was and yet when he thought of the word that humans used with someone they held dear, the first person he could think of was you.
he didn't care that your time together has been short because the way you feel around him was unlike any other emotion he's tried to learn from the humans around him. you were different in the type of way he wanted to become a part of your life, wanted to learn endless things about you, and to learn what kind of future it would look like if you were by his side.
but he fucked it all up trying to save you even if he didn't regret saving your life, he had no idea what to do now that he's exposed himself to be an alien.
"please, yn. it's still me, i'm still jay."
"i don't even know you. we've barely known each other what makes you think i'm ever going to listen to anything you have to say now. you're lucky i have no weapons on me because i'd have you laid out on the ground by now." your voice cut sharper than his tentacles and jay would be lying if he said that your words didn't hurt.
he hated seeing you so afraid of you him but not only that, so disgusted.
were you simply just an alien to him? a monster, like you said?
jay tried to stutter another string of pleas but is cut off when sunghoon and his enforcement team round the corner. "sunghoon! get him! he's an alien!" you shout, hiding behind your friend who is shocked at your claims.
"what are you talking about? director park?" jungwon, a junior enforcement team member asks. you nod in response and they all take position, forming a human shield formation around you with blasters aimed at jay.
"enforcement team division beta as your director i command you to stand down." jay says but they all stand firm in their spots except one. ni-ki, another junior enforcement member who is torn between abiding by the laws of being an officer and continuing pursuit of protection against aliens or listening to his higher up.
"ni-ki, position. do not lower your weapon." sunghoon commands and the younger boy is instantly raising his gun again and steadying himself.
"yn– are you sure? how do you know?" sunghoon asks and you have no choice but to step in front of him to prove it. you snatch a weapon that's strapped to sunghoon's hip and push yourself in front of him, cutting him off when he tries to ask what you're doing.
"show them, jay." you say and he just stands there. staring you and everyone else down to try and prove you wrong. it was almost like you had no other choice to prove that jay was an alien so you aim your gun at him which makes sunghoon reach forward to try and stop you but you merely just shove him off. "do it, jay. fucking show them or else!"
"or else what, dr. ln? put the gun down please." he says while raising his hands in the air as if he's innocent.
once again– you feel like you have no other choice.
everyone assumed you were about to shoot jay but you do something else, catching them all off guard. you move the tip of the gun towards your temple and just before you're able to press on the trigger, a tentacle rips out of jay's back and snatches the gun away. you knew you could leverage yourself against him. for whatever reason, jay was inclined to protect you and you knew now that it was out of guilt.
you can hear gasps and strings of curses behind you at the spectacle of jay's tentacles reaching forward, the gun previously in your hand now wrapped in between a tentacle.
"i told you." you mutter as your gaze gets sharper.
"you guys have to understand that this is who i am. i'm not violent, i will never hurt any of you but please.
please. do not give me a reason to defend myself." jay says, taking one slow step back as he brings the gone closer to him and tosses it to the side before his tentacle retracts back into his body.
"then surrender. you don't want to hurt us?" you say while turning around again and grabbing something off of sunghoon's utility belt. "then surrender yourself and put this on. i can assure you that you may be strong and dangerous but you're not coming out of this without a scratch on you." you say before tossing something at his feet.
metal clanks against the marble floor and when jay looks down he sees a shock collar sliding towards him.
he couldn't believe it. you were treating him like every other alien you've ever encountered. jay knew about your history and yet he chose to get close to you anyone because of what he knew. was it guilt? partially. but was it a desire to change your opinion on aliens as a whole and to show you that if he could get close to you then you'll see that not all aliens posed as threat.
that aliens and humans can live in harmony together.
but it wasn't looking like that at all the longer he looked at the collar at his feet.
"put it on or im putting a bullet into your fucking head." you spit at him, patience wearing thing.
"i highly doubt that's possible, yn— but i will surrender because i do not want to hurt you. any of you." he says softly while leaning downwards to pick up the collar.
the tip of sunghoon's gun and everyone else's follows his movement with stable precision and you all watch as he opens the latch and wraps the collar around his neck, closing it with a click. jay opens his mouth to speak but writhes in pain at the shock it sends across his body. you're pressing onto the controller, shifting the intensity to the highest point to incapacitate jay until he's crumbling to his knees, begging for you to stop.
you walk over to him and kneel downwards so you're closer to his level before shutting off the collar.
"yn— please.." he breathes out and you scoff at him.
"pleading won't get you anywhere." is all you say before walking away and heading over to sunghoon. telling him that you all need to leave before more aliens arrive and that backup should arrive shortly to close off the building for lock down.
"and director park? what do we do with him?" he asks.
"he's an alien. there's no more director park— bring him with us. when the enforcement alpha gets here i'll have him transported to another facility." you explain as jungwon and ni-ki grab jay by the arms and drag him behind you all.
"what are you going to do with him yn?" you can sense worry in sunghoon's voice and it irks you in the slightest way. you didn't understand why there was a weird tone in his voice that made you feel like you were acting irrationally when you felt like you could've acted worse than you did.
"what i do with all aliens. throw them into a cage and study them until i know how to break them down."
✶
jay's cell is hot.
it felt like his home planet and he hated it. he found his way to earth just to get away from the heat, to get away from his animalistic relatives, and yet here he was chained inside of a cell like he was a savage.
sweat dripped across his body as his muscles tenses against the chains. it shined like stars against his skin, sweat cascading across his muscles like a river through mountains.
it's been exactly three days since it all happened. since the outbreak at the facility, since he exposed himself to you, since you saw him as the monster you wanted to see him as.
he hated that this is how it resulted but he couldn't do anything about it. all he wanted was to learn, to be more like a human, and to jay, that was you. you weren't perfect. you were didn't know the right things to say, your emotions weren't complete and your mind was filled with more than it can hold.
that's what made you human.
but your reactions also proved your humanity.
you treated jay like a monster because all your life that's what you knew aliens to be.
monsters.
he just wishes he could've done more to show you that he wasn't violent. that he wasn't a monster and that he was telling the truth when he said he would never hurt you.
nothing rings truer than that.
jay is deep in thought when the sound of heels tapping against the pavement outside of his cell gets closer and closer. at first he doesn't look up but when he hears your voice he quickly snaps his head towards your direction.
"yn…" he whispers just loud enough for you to hear.
he wasn't expecting to see you so soon. he thought that you'd take some time away to process all of this but you were here now. standing in front of him, heels on your feet, glasses low on your nose, and hair sleeked back out of your face.
"this is dr. ln, the time is 7AM on february 23rd. this is the first recording with new alien species, identification to be determined. logging research now. subject is conscious in confinement and responding to my presence." your voice was robotic.
jay is slightly offended that you're treating this like any other day.
like he was just some alien that's been captured on a random thursday that's been presented to you to study.
"yn— can we please just talk?" jay's voice is hoarse and low. the lack of hydration paired with the blazing heat that's being blasted into his cell has left him drained.
"subject is speaking fluently like a human. most likely due to years of exposure and assimilation." you say while walking closer, before taking a seat on the floor just outside of his cell, the glass separating the two of you. you're parallel from jay who is slightly elevated into the air by his chains as you cross your legs on the floor.
"please. let's just talk." he says again.
"don't worry, jay. we'll talk—" you pause for a second to make sure the gadget on your wrist is recording your conversation.
"tell me everything. from the beginning til the day at the facility and don't leave anything out or else i won't hesitate to use this." you say while pulling a device out of your pocket. it was similar to the controller that you used to activate the shock collar he was wearing before, only now he wasn't wearing one.
"i'm sure you're wondering what this is for. so, let me show you."
and suddenly there's an intense pain shooting through jay's body that started from his arms that make his muscles spasm as electricity shoots throughout the chains that's holstered around him.
"not so fun is it? i hope you know that pain doesn't even compare to the pain that i've had to face as a young girl seeing my family torn apart in front of my very eyes." you finally turn the device off and the shock of the electricity disappears but the pain remains on jay's skin like a reminder of his betrayal.
"you wanted to talk. so talk. tell me everything."
and he does.
jay tells you every detail about his life. his species of alien. even details that weren't helpful like how he got his job or shows he watched to learn the language of the humans he was surrounded by.
he did all of that alone.
jay told you about how at a young age he learned how to pilot a spaceship that his species had from his home planet and how he escaped to earth with no idea what to do next. once every few years his species sent out groups of aliens to come down to earth and live amongst humans with no other reason aside from the fact that they were no longer of use to the aliens back home.
it was either they stayed on their home planet and got killed or they got sent to a different planet with nothing else. a lot of the time the aliens sent away ended up dying, others assimilated like jay. he hated it. he hated how aggressive his kind was and from a young age his parents saw this in him.
they hated him for it.
ostracized him. called him weak. useless. worthless.
he managed to sneak onto a ship being sent out one day and the rest was history.
the same night that jay landed on earth was the same night your family met their demise. you later learned that with more detail from jay's arrival to earth.
he told you more about his home planet. how it's temperatures were unmatched, growing even hotter than venus itself. he never called it home though. jay would refer to his home planet as 'ustrina' and corrected you when you called it his home.
"that's not my home. earth is my home, yn…" you'd just ignore it, move on after because you didn't have the energy to argue with him about whether or not earth was his home or not. jay told you that ustrina was naturally very hot and because of it, his alien species developed a hunting skill that made them excellent predators.
their sweat.
the sweat that comes out of their pore glands acted as a sort of aphrodisiac. it made those close enough to smell it be allured and fall into a trance like state, almost following the scent until their close enough for the predator to lunge— because his planet was so hot his kind was always sweating and the more they were sweating, the stronger their scent became.
you didn't even know this when you had jay thrown into a cell. you simply remembered the way he was so cold before that you assumed temperature had something to do with his species, you just weren't sure what. in hindsight it wasn't very helpful to keep him in a cell that was thousands of degrees high where he's practically swimming in his own sweat but he told you that the affects don't work on his kind.
it almost felt like he was suggesting that it would work on you.
not suggesting. telling.
he was telling you that a singular whiff of his scent would work on your. you'd easily be prey to him.
"— but i like to be cold. i don't like be hot and sweaty because i don't like the way it leaves people unable to act for themselves. i don't want them to feel like i'm manipulating or taking advantage of them— of you. that's why i had my office so cold and overtime i learned that when i'm around someone i can trust, my body naturally cools down."
his words remind you of one of your first times meeting. when you shook his hand, skin cold as ice, and how his office was freezing. there was rhyme to his reasoning and it irritated you that his icy skin was because he found comfort in you despite not knowing you at all.
"i knew the second i met you that i could trust you even if i didn't know who you were. i was able to naturally let my guard down around you, that's why i was so cold. yn i would never lie to you, please believe me.
if you turn off the heat in here and touch my skin, i promise you that i will instantly cool down. you have to trust me— please…"
he was pleading again and although you wanted to keep your composure and not listen to what he says, your vision began to blur and you slowly stood from your seat on the ground and walked over to the keypad to the side of the door that led to his cell.
you're about to scan your badge but suddenly your vision comes back and your mind is no longer fuzzy.
"what the fuck was that?" you asked, clearly aggravated.
"that's another one of our traits. i can control your mind in different ways… sometimes it feels like just a small nudge to encourage you to do something, other times i can leave you completely unconscious and take over your body if i wanted to…"
"you've done this before to me haven't you?" you began to recall all the other times you felt that similar sensation and they all involved jay. the time in his office when you came to grab your badge, the time in the facility when he willed you to stay hidden while he scouted the building for sunghoon; it was him.
he was controlling your mind and yet, you weren't upset.
you were intrigued.
"fascinating…"
in all of your years of studying aliens, none of them have ever shown any capabilities of mind control. it was usually more physical traits and intelligence but mind control? never. that was a new discovery that you've now just stumbled upon and this new information only fueled your curiosity.
"if i walk in there and you try to use that on me again— i'll fucking kill you."
"i won't! i promise i won't— yn– i.."
jay is cut off by the sound of beeping and suddenly the door to cell opens. the once blazing heat coming from the ceiling is gone and he can feel slight relief on his skin.
when you walk into the cell, the residual heat fills the air but you're more focused on the floral yet musky scent that fills your nose. it was pleasant in a disarming type of way and the closer you walked over to jay whose bent forward on his knees, arms raised behind him like wings held into the air by the chains, the scent smells sweeter and sweeter.
"touch me…" is all he says before your hand presses against his bare chest.
it's covered in his sweat and it instantly soaks your hand when you touch him. his skin is warm but almost instantly the heat is gone and his skin begins to feel like ice. you jump back at the sudden change and look over at jay who's looking at you with big pleading eyes, mouth parted in exhaustion while his tongue lulls past his lips in a thirsty desperation.
you place your hand on his chest again and you can see the way his muscles relax. his skin no longer bore a blushing red from the heat and returned to it's natural color. your mouth slowly parted at the sight of jay's body, toned and muscular in all of the right places but he also had valleys of soft and tender flesh that felt equally reliable to settle yourself against.
your tongue darts past your lips to wet your bottom lip, teeth slowly biting down on the flesh.
"jay…" you whisper and his gaze intensifies in a way he's never even felt before. like he was looking at you like his prey the way his nature intended yet he felt no urge to destroy you— violently that is.
"what is this feeling.." you say, breathing getting heavier as you kneel down in front of him, hand still pressed firmly against his sweaty chest. jay meets your eyes at a common level and your face is a lot closer to his than you've ever been. he can count the lashes on your feathery eyes, he can see the slight quiver in your lip, and can feel something radiating off of you that he's never felt from anyone else.
"it's me— you're being lured in by my swear you need to leave— no!" you interrupt jay and he's taken aback. he wasn't expecting you to want to stay so close to him but that's what his scent does. dulls your senses so that all you think about is the sweet smell that you don't want to pull away from.
"it's so—" you swallow momentarily.
"so sweet…" and before jay can respond you're bringing your face closer to his and lick a stripe of his cheek. his sweat coating your tongue as your eyes close in pleasure. "i was right…" you whisper while licking your lips as if you were trying to taste more of jay with whatever could've stuck to your mouth.
"yn— this is.. you have to go you can't think straight right now." you cut him off with a kiss, tasting his sweat that's pooled around his mouth as your tongue licks at his skin like it was the most delicious thing you've ever tasted.
jay whimpers into your mouth and pulls a moan out of you as you continue lapping at his skin. tongue gently swiping across his cheek, nose, slurping at the sweat on his forehead.
he tries to tell you that you're not acting of the right mind and he's met with your hooded gaze. "i want it, jay… but i'll stop if you want me to."
"i— jay's torn between wanting to continue feeling you against his body and the idea that your mind is only feeling this way because of his scent.
"are you sure? you know that you only feel like this because of my scent, right? without you wouldn't feel so inclined to do… to do all of this." he says referring to the way your arms have now wrapped itself loosely around his neck while you're practically pushing your hips against his. "trust me… i want nothing more than to feel you." you whisper, lips gently touching his before you kiss him again. this time jay kisses back— hard.
his mouth explores yours like untouched territory, tongue fighting for dominance as they graze over your teeth, sweat continues to drip across his skin and it feels your senses in a euphoric way that makes you desperate for something more filling.
"let me taste you— please. you've tasted me, now it's my turn." jay says into the kiss before he bites down onto your bottom lip, tugging on it in a silent dominant way.
your body naturally moves with ease as you pull down your pants, tossing them aside with your feet as you stand up, jay's face perfectly leveled with your pussy that's now began to soak the soft white cotton panties you're wearing.
"you want to taste me? so do it." you've barely finished your sentence before jay is pressing his face against your clothed pussy, licking and biting at the fabric to taste your juices through the fabric, ringing out your slickness with his tongue. "just like that— fuck." you moan out, eyes slowly fluttering shut and head lulling backwards.
jay's teeth tear through the fabric in a desperate motion and the air blows against your exposed pussy that covered in your slick, jay quickly brings his tongue forward to catch it before it drips onto the floor wastefully— although he'd probably be more than willing to lick the ground to taste you.
he's sloppy in the way he's got his tongue lapping at your folds, collecting your sweetness into the curvature of his tongue while his lips suck at you in an inhuman way. his alien physique proving to be beneficial in intercourse as he continues eating you out, starved and deprived.
you're the first thing jay has taste in three days and my god were you the best thing he's ever tasted.
"fuck— jay i'm– gonna cum!" you bite down on your lip to muffle your moans and even though jay's been living among humans for a long time now, sex has never interested him in this way until you. he was eager to make you cum like how it happens in the books he's read or the movies he's seen— even porn he's watched out of pure curiosity.
"cum for me please. please cum, yn— please." he's begging you to cum all over his face like he was the one being pleasured but the with the way his eyes close in pleasure while eating your soaked pussy, jay was fill with pleasure more than you think.
he quickens his pace, tongue almost growing in size as it pushes further inside of you while his nose pokes at your clit at just the right amount of pressure to pull you over the edge. your pussy clenches around jay's tongue and he can feel the way your pussy floods with your sweetness that he can't help but to slurp up even quicker than before.
you're spitting pleasure filled curses as you cum, hand now gripping his hair for stability as your knees get weak from your orgasm, almost buckling beneath you but you manage to hold yourself up.
"fuck— jay that was… wow" you're breathless as jay pulls away from your pussy even if he doesn't want to. long sticky webs forming as he gets further away, his chin is soaked in your cum and you notice that he's no longer sweaty but the feeling still remains on your mind. "yn… are you ok?" he asks quietly while looking up at you.
you're deep in thought when you realize something. your pants are tossed to the side, your panties are ripped, and a mixture of your cum and jay's sweat coats your thighs but there's one thing you've now realized— something you aren't sure you want to say out loud.
was this for science? was this because of jay's hypnotizing scent?
or was this you finding a reason to justify the fact that you wanted to jay?
whatever it was— you were going to have to do a lot of thinking before you told jay anything you just said in your head.
"i have to go— um…" you say, looking around for your pants.
your heels click clack against the floor as you run over to them, slipping them on and trying to make yourself look composed before having to go back out there.
"jay—" you clear your throat before continuing.
"don't tell anyone this happened.. ok?"
he nods slowly, "okay, yn. i won't."
jay thinks that's all you have to say as he watches you leave and lock the door behind you but you walk back towards him, pressing your hand to the glass as he looks at you with an expecting gaze.
"i won't turn the heat back and i'll lower the temperature in here. i don't know what i'm feeling right now but i can tell you one thing…" you pause and jay bites his lip in anticipation.
"i think i want you in ways that i shouldn't."
✶
over the course of the next seven days, you and jay spend a lot more time with each other. you've created a personal authorization with his cell, meaning that only you have access to it.
you put it all under the guise of research and that you were studying him— and you were, even if sunoo, or sunghoon, or jake said that you seemed to be less angry at him— you kept telling them that this was all purely for science and that they should worry more about their jobs rather than what you're doing.
you are studying jay but that didn't mean you had to continue harboring resentment to him.
it was weird— like always.
just a week before today, you were angry and wanted him dead but now… you've told things to jay you've never even uttered out loud before.
today was like any other day. you've now moved past the chains as you and jay sit together, tucked away into a corner of his cell, his arm around your shoulder as your rest yourself against him.
you provided him better clothes and an even better atmosphere in his confinement. you did however, still had to chain him up after each meeting because you didn't want anyone to grow suspicious even if your friends were already questioning you.
"your skin is so soft…" jay mutters before pressing a kiss on your crown.
"it's called moisturizer, ever heard of it?" you tease and the two of you share a laugh. "alright, i may be an alien but i have lived on earth for long enough… i'm just saying it's so— so so so soft" he says, peppering kisses across your knuckles. it makes you giggle at how domestic it all felt. how just almost two months ago you wanted nothing to do with jay and now here you are, breaking a code of conduct with your job as your feelings begin to bloom for the alien you wanted dead before.
sometimes you still teased jay about it. calling him little nicknames like "my alien" and what not and he pretended to hate it but he secretly loved the way it made his heart pick up in speed.
only you can do that. only you could make him feel this way and he knew now that feeling he felt when he first saw you, that unidentified bond and attraction he never said out loud, the way you felt so comfortable with in such a short amount of time— it's because of this. the fact that you're a human learning about aliens and he's an alien learning about humans, it creates the perfect opportunity of two hearts coming to one.
that neither of you are perfect beings yet you learn about what perfection is and the scale of perfection that's gauged by the humanity that jay can learn from you and the humanity you can find in yourself because of jay.
jay watches as your hand moves towards your face, your gentle finger pushing your glasses up onto your face, and then back towards his hand to lace them together.
"i really like your glasses— they're… pretty." his voice is gentle like he was almost afraid to compliment you. "my glasses?" you ask slightly confused. you've never been complimented on them before so it was a bit surprising especially since they were simple wire rimmed glasses, nothing special.
"yeah— they're pretty like you. they capture your eyes really nicely like a framed picture."
you turn towards jay with a touched expression on your face, bottom lip slightly jutting forward. "that's.. that's so sweet, jay.." you say before placing a kiss onto his cheek and you can see the way it makes him blush.
jay smiles at you and suddenly your glasses are being snatched off of your face, his long tentacles taking them hostage as he pulls them away. "hey— jay, come on." you whine as you try to reach for them and he tauntingly moves it away just before you can grab it. "gotta try harder than that, dr. ln." he teases and you scoff at him.
"seriously?" you ask and he shrugs, sliding out and creating distance between the two of you. you try to chase after him but he's just too quick and his tentacles are way too long as they stretch upwards, bringing your glasses all the way up to the ceiling where you definitely cannot reach.
"that's not fair!" you huff with a pout and he eventually gives in, bringing his tentacle back down so he can return your glasses to you but before he can you're pouncing on top of him, the two of you falling backwards as jay uses his tentacles to break the fall.
"okay— THAT was unfair." he says, referring to you jumping on him while he's not paying attention, ultimately catching him off guard. his tentacle returns your glasses onto your face, the tip of the fleshy muscle pushing them up comfortably and you smile before muttering a thank you. "can i ask you something…" he says quietly, a bit timid.
you nod in response and he takes a minute to ask but something tells you that you already know where this was going as you can feel the hardness growing beneath you, his crotch pressed up against your abdomen.
"can— can i feel you?" jay asks, stuttering over his shyness but you found it endearing.
"feel me? in what way?"
"like— like how i tasted you before. i want you to taste me but—" he pauses and you smile at him with nothing but adoration in your eyes. "do you want me to suck you off, jay?"
"when you say it like that it sounds so vulgar.." he grumbles and looks away, making you laugh at his semi-prude behavior. "well that's exactly what you're asking for— except this time no mind control, no aphrodisiac sweat— do you want me to?" you ask and he turns back towards you.
"none of that. i want it but only if you want it. i don't want anything interfering with your perception. i shouldn't have ever let it get that far at first— i'm sorry."
you grab his face tenderly and place a kiss on his lips, "it's okay— as angry as i was at you before, deep down i wanted it just as bad." you slide across his body, hands trailing across his chest and stomach. his eyes hold your gaze as your face stops just above the waistband of his soft linen pants. "please don't make me wait…" he breathes out.
your fingers loop his waistband as you pull them down and just like you expected, he's hard.
jay's cock is one you've never seen before— even in your field of work where you examine alien bodies, none of them have ever had a member like jay's his cock was large— insanely big; it bulged in different areas, curved with thickness that pointed with a bulbous tip that was leaking with something just as sweet as his sweat.
"fuck—" you mutter and it makes jay panic.
"you don't have to if you don't want to! i'm so sorry— i'm being so selfish, i'm sorry." he says while scrambling to pull his pants back up but you reassure him that you want this and the sight of his massive alien cock makes you want him even more.
your mouth waters at him and the way you can see his member throb.
"i don't even know if this could fit…"
he looks at you bashfully like he's embarrassed by his large cock but you were just so amazed by it. "you'll make it fit, right?" jay says, voice low with fervor.
you nod at him as you begin to lick his tip. jay hisses at the contact of your warm tongue creating wetness around his cock with just a few licks. "shit—" he cusses as his hands form into fists. you try to work your throat open when you wrap your lips around his cock, you're only able to fit 1/5 of jay inside your mouth at first.
saliva drips from the sides of your mouth and coats jay's cock as you bob your head up and down, trying your best for him to fit more and more of his cock inside of your pretty mouth but he's just utterly too big for you— it makes you even think about how he'll fit if you eventually decide to have sex.
"that feels amazing— yn fuck!" he moans, punching the ground in pleasure.
"this is the best i've ever felt— please don't stop— shit! keep going, baby" you've never heard him this vulgar before especially considering how shy he was being just a moment ago. "i'm gonna push more inside, okay baby?" he says, raising his brows at you before his tentacle wraps around your head, from crown to chin; while another tentacle holds back the hair that's fallen loose from the way you're sucking him off with determination.
jay can feel his cock go deeper into your throat, stretching you open that you've managed to get just about half of him now inside of your mouth. he feels like he's in heaven and a sense of pride fills him when he hears the way you're whimpering and moaning against his cock, vibrations adding to the pleasure he's feeling.
the way your spit has moved past drooling and basically flooding out of your mouth, coating your chin and his thighs in soft white bubbles.
"i could die happy like this— fuck baby. you're perfect— so so perfect. doing so good taking that cock. you like it don't you, pretty?" he asks and uses his tentacles to nod for you as you're too occupied taking him into your mouth. jay's even more impressed by the way you've managed to breathe through your nose and not once asked to come up for air, it just makes him even harder.
something that he didn't mention was the fact that intense moments of pleasure— like right now; would make his cock grow. not only that, but his alien species cums. a lot.
so when jay starts singing pleasures and moans from delight, his cock grows inside of your mouth like no other. like a water balloon that's ready to burst from inflating too large, the sensation of his cum fills your throat like an endless waterfall.
hot, sticky, gooey, bioluminescent cum fills your mouth. you try to swallow it and to no surprise— it's sweet like everything about jay but it proves to be all too much as your eyes begin to water, patting his leg with urgency so he can let you go and he instantly does. even through his pleasure filled daze, he's attentive to your needs.
when you pull jay's cock out of your mouth he's still cumming. the hot glowing liquid squirts everywhere, majority landing onto your glasses that become sticky with his essence, decorating it like melting wax. there's puddles of his cum on the ground as they drip from your chin, your cheeks, forehead— everywhere.
his cum is almost never ending and because you want to show jay you're serious about him the way he is about you, you lick up the cum that's pooled around his thighs and stomach, lapping at it like a little kitty drinking milk.
jay's eyes are half lidded, mouth agape with heavy breaths as he looks down at you, face practically covered in his honey like cum. he tries his best to not let the sight of you covered in his essence make him harder but the way you're looking up at him through the small gaps in your glasses that aren't covered in cum just turns him on to no end— more cum shoots out of his tip that's now glowing with slickness and throbbing more than before.
"fuck me— i've never seen that much cum before.." you're breathless like jay is, your breathes matching in unison.
"i– well i don't think i've ever cum that much before." you giggle at his confession, licking another stripe along the underside of his cock from his balls to the tip, he shivers at the sensation and more cum dribbles out from his cock and perfectly lands on your tongue.
"we should probably get you cleaned up—" jay pauses for a second as his tentacles fully retract back into his body. "as much as i like seeing you like this; i don't think i can hold back if we keep going."
you ponder on what jay just said. 'keep going'
there's a sense of relief inside of you when you realize that he was thinking the same thing. he wanted it just as bad that's no denying and the fact that you want to keep going but know that you shouldn't says something about how you feel about one another. there's clearly something more between you two and that was enough to allow you to say the following words.
"we'll get there eventually. just not here— i know i'm the one that got you inside of this cage and i'll be the one to get you out." you pause for a second to adjust your glasses and it makes jay smile. your pretty glasses on your pretty face— maybe even prettier with the way his cum drips off of you.
"i promise, jay."
✶
the next day as jay sat in his cell, arms strung up by chains and back sore from the uncomfortable position he's been in for hours, he's still got a simmering smile on his lips as he waits for the hour that you arrive. he's been keeping track of the time in his head and at the hour on the hour, you arrive just when he's expecting you.
except now, you're not alone.
when jay raises his head to meet your figure walking down the long path to get to his cage, his smile fades when he sees you accompanied by two other people. officer sunghoon and commander lee heeseung who he hasn't seen in ages— way before he even switched over to this facility.
jay's never liked commander lee, he was abrasive, blunt, spoke with a condescending tone, and never took anyone seriously. heeseung thought he was way above everyone else and to him, he didn't care if it rubbed people the wrong way.
he knew he was smart, strong, and his role as a commander definitely went to his head.
you've only spoken to him a few times— met him once outside of right now, and like jay, you weren't a fan of heeseung. you shared the same opinion as jay without even knowing his own dislike for your boss. heeseung was the head of the alien studies program and although he appreciated a lot of your ideas and typically supported everything you wanted to do with your studies on alien species— you just couldn't ignore his brash attitude and unlikable demeanor.
"park jongseong— how disappointing to see such a gift mind like yours be contained like this." heeseung says, crossing his arms as he stares at jay through the glass. jay's glaring him down as you stand behind heeseung, sunghoon to the other side of the commander. you're looking at jay from the side with sympathetic eyes, your heart aches at the position he's in right now— because of you.
you didn't expect yourself to feel this way about jay, especially after everything and yet after spending a few days with him and learning everything about one another, you're more than willing to turn your back on the humans who have helped you fuel your hatred for aliens for the one alien wh has changed your mind on everything you thought you knew.
"commander lee.." jay says through gritted teeth, he hasn't looked at you once and he knows it should stay that way. he's afraid if he looks at you even the slightest that his face will give it away that the two of you have something you shouldn't. afraid that if he looks at your face, heeseung will see how his eyes will soften when looking at you which would put the two of you in a compromising position.
"doctor. ln; you said the alien has exhibited violent behavior and needs to be extracted correct?" heeseung asks, barely turning his head towards you, jay's eyes following even if he tries not to. he watches as your face sharpens at the way heeseung calls your name and you just give him a singular nod, eyes devoid of emotion. jay feels an ache in his chest when he sees how cold you are. "sunghoon—" heeseung says.
"prepare for the alien's transportation. we're moving him to the category 5 unit bunker."
that bunker was where they put alien's deemed to dangerous to society but aren't necessarily useless. they leave aliens down there until they need to be studied again or used in some sort of manipulative way like extracting their dna for scientific progression or using them as members of a task force of some kind.
"wh– what? why are you taking me there? yn? tell me that's not true!" jay's got no idea what's happening when a group of enforcement officers file into the room in a single line, guns tucked into their arms while sunghoon scans his badge to get access into the cell. jay's still calling for you, asking for you to explain and why you're doing this to him— heartbroken over seeing you not even bat an eyelash as sunghoon activates the electricity in the chains that's wrapped around him.
bolts of electricity shocking into his body until he's incapacitated enough to no longer speak, only able to watch as his eyes get blurry while watching your figure get smaller and smaller with commander lee at your side. you're trying your best to remain stoic like hearing jay's pained groans and pleads isn't shattering your heart, but because commander lee is right at your side, you can't do anything about it.
"great work doctor. ln. your contributions to the alien division are greatly appreciated, i'll be sure to tell the higher ups of everything you've done. at this rate you'll move up in ranks and be able to do what i do for mankind.
talk soon."
that's all heeseung says before he gives you an unwelcome pat on the shoulder that you try not to scoff at, watching him leave with a fake smile that you finally drop when he's no longer in view.
you wanted to turn around and run back inside of jay's cell block but you know that wasn't a good idea. you just wish that he won't hate you after this.
inside his cell, sunghoon's got a relentless grip on the controller that activates the electricity, jay who is strong tries his best to bare the pain of the shock but eventually his body just falls limp, eyes barely open. sunghoon finally turns it off and walks over to jay, crouching down to his level and whispering something into his ear.
"i'm going to give you something— grab it with your tentacle while no one's looking. it's on your back." he gives jay a harsh slap on the back that he disguises as 'punishment' for speaking back, trying to remain like a hard ass in front of the enforcement squad. jay's barely conscious when sunghoon tells him all of this but he manages to subtly grab the slip of paper that's stuck to his back, sliding it into his body where his tentacles reside just as he falls unconscious.
the last thing he hears is sunghoon shouting commands to grab the high grade cuffs and confinement tools to prepare jay for extraction.
✶
jay wakes up when the truck that he's in drives over a bump in the road, jolting him awake when his body shakes and thuds against the walls of the truck. he's got a state of the art biotech cuffs locked around his wrists, a shock collar on his neck, and electroshock braces strapped to his chest— the works.
all commands from you to make it seem like jay was the dangerous and unhinged alien monster that you've told heeseung he is.
except you aren't— you were wrong. jay's the furthest from a monster and you knew that now. it's why you were doing all of this in the first place. with trust placed into your friends, sunghoon, sunoo, and jake; they all took part in helping you break jay out of his cell.
sunghoon was the main person in this plan who helped you— sunoo and jake were just in on it just in case something were to happen. you trusted all of them and they could all see the way you spoke about jay and the emotion behind your eyes; they had never seen you this serious about anything aside from aliens and right now, there was one alien that needed helping.
jay.
you devised a plan with sunghoon that you knew would work without fail. why? because you came up with it after all. you would call commander lee with a request to extract and transfer jay to a different facility under sunghoon's supervision; during the transfer the truck would get 'attacked' and amongst the chaos, jay will escape.
sure— it paints jay as an escaped fugitive and would probably get him labeled as a category s, high risk danger alien on the loose; but it meant that he wasn't going to be confined anymore. you're the reason he was there and you were going to get him out even if it meant breaking several laws and putting multiple people's jobs at risk— sunoo said it himself when he say the way you talked about jay.
"it's all in the name of love."
so when jay blinks the blurriness away from his eyes and sees where he is, all he believes is that you've turned your back to him— completely forgetting about the note that sunghoon slipped into his tentacles before all of this, all jay could think about was the coldness in your eyes as you walked away from him like before; not recognizing how you're trying to hold it altogether.
"you good?" jay didn't even realize sunghoon was sitting next to him, black tactile suit on with a weapon strapped to his body. sunghoon's face was blank as he looked at the man he once respected— maybe still do; just a bit less perhaps. "sunghoon…" jay pauses for a beat before continuing, swallowing the dryness in his throat.
"you've got to listen to me— yn and i we're… she's— this is all a misunderstanding. please just let me talk to her."
"you don't have to worry, jay. you'll get to talk to her in just a few hours." sunghoon speaks in a hushed whisper and jay doesn't quite understand why until the younger of the two is leaning forward. "i'm going to 'accidentally' let go of your restraints and you're going to get the fuck out of here. use the note i left you to find yn. don't look back, don't think twice— just go." and with that jay hears a few clicks and beeps and his restraints come undone and fall off of his body.
"subject is lose!" sunghoon suddenly shouts and the officers at the front of the truck can be heard shouting back— the truck coming to a halt. sunghoon gives him a nod, letting him know that it's okay and if he needed to use force against him, then do it. "just don't fuck this up. she's waiting for you— and mind my face, ok? sunoo'll get upset if you leave a scar."
jay chuckles for a second before his tentacle cracks from his spine and it lashes towards sunghoon, trying his best to make it believable that he knocked him out while the doors to the back of the truck fly open, revealing three guards with weapons already pointed at jay. he's got no choice but to protect himself and just like he does with sunghoon, he uses his tentacles to hit them only hard enough to knock them out and not do any major damage.
he quickly scrambles out of the truck but not before turning around and looking at sunghoon who is watching him, "thank you" jay says and sunghoon shakes his head at him.
"what did i say? don't look back— go!" sunghoon says through an aggravated whisper and watches as jay smirks at his friend and dashes away, using his tentacles to reach for branches and swing from tree to tree until he's far enough into the forest that surrounded the city to take a break and gather his bearings.
"this is officer park— the alien escaped and is on the run. i've got no idea where he's headed, three other officers are currently unconscious; notify doctor ln and send in medical backup. over."
sunghoon's transmitter crackles momentarily before a voice on the other side confirms his request and he's left to do nothing but wait and hope that this plan of yours doesn't come back to bite any of you in the ass.
✶
when jay finally feels he's far enough into the dense forest to take a break, he's breathless. he doesn't know how long he's been swinging amongst the trees and running from nothing. he doesn't even know if he's being chased after, he's just listening to what sunghoon said and getting out of there before something could happen.
he finds a small clearing in the trees where he sees a tree that's fallen to the ground, using it as a place to rest for just a moment— just to catch his breath and think of what to do, like what you would. you've always came up with great plans and he admired that about you, you're intelligent in ways that surprised him even if he came from a planet with technology and knowledge far superior to humans.
and that's when he remembers the note.
the skin on his back crack open and one of his tentacles wraps forward with the note at the tip of the flesh. it's folded neatly with just a few stains from his body's essence and when he opens it, he realizes it's a letter from you.
it reads:
to jay,
if you're reading this letter it means that i've turned you in once again— but this time it's within reason outside of my disdain for aliens.
it's because of you and doing what's right. in the time that i've known you, i've learned more about myself than i have ever learned in the years that i've been alive. i thought i knew everything and because i was constantly searching for answers in the aliens that i studied, i thought that i was untouchable in ways that no one would understand.
but you did.
you barely knew me and yet it felt like you knew exactly who i was as a person. you never judged me for being a flawed human when i so harshly treated you like a monster for something you had no control over— and for that i'm sorry.
right now, as you're reading this that means that my plan to get you out of confinement is working. sunghoon must've told you everything you needed to know about what's going; i worked with him, sunoo, and jake to get you out. they're my friends and i trust them like i trust you— they thought i was crazy for all of this but i guess at the end of the day they believed me enough to help.
this was the only way i could see you getting out of the cell. i would request for you to be transferred to a different facility and during that time you and sunghoon would stage the whole thing like you miraculously broke out but it would just be sunghoon letting you free.
i've attached where you can find me at the bottom of this letter and i'm sorry for keeping you in the dark with all of this, it's already been hard enough to think about and i just know it'll be even more difficult seeing your face when you hear about everything. i wanted to have you in on the plan but i didn't want to risk anything especially with commander lee present— i'm sorry and i hope that you can find it in yourself to forgive me when we're together again.
you can find me at these coordinates: 47.606° N, 122.332° W or 47°39' N, 122°18' W
i'll be waiting for you.
sincerely and apologetically yours, doctor ln.
the letter ends with a faint pink kiss mark, jay's thumb hovers over and he can feel his heart begin to beat faster just at the thought of finally having you without constraint or laws. he memorizes the coordinates and brings the letter close to his chest, closing his eyes and steadies his breath before his tentacles reappear and he's quickly making time to head to wherever you're waiting for him.
"i'll be there soon. thank you for waiting for me." he mutters to himself as the wind flies past his skin, blowing through the air as he clears the forest and eventually makes his way through the city, using the darkness of the night and shadows to remain hidden, afraid that by now there must be a warrant for his arrest and an ongoing search to capture him.
✶
you're sitting on your couch in the living room with your knees tucked close to your body as you watch the news, they've already sent out a nationwide alert of him escaping and he's being treated like a monster and it was all your fault. you couldn't imagine how he must be feeling and it was starting to fuck with your head how bad a person you must be compared to jay, an alien who you previously called a monster and now everyone would be calling him one too.
except jay didn't care.
he couldn't give any less of a fuck of what others thought about him when he's tried so hard to bare himself to you. he knows you feel remorseful but right now all you can feel is pain. hurting from the fact that you hurt him in ways that he never would've done to you— that you were more of a monster than you are human.
your eyes are trained on the screen in front of you as the clueless news reporter calls jay inaccurate words, describing him as vile, dangerous, and a flesh eating monster when he's been nothing but gentle to you. you've seen humans— kids– much more violent than jay is. you feel your eyes begin to water when a shadow dashes past your window.
the tears in your eyes suddenly dry up as you begin to wonder if what you just saw was a figure of your imagination or something lurking in the shadows outside of your home.
you get up to check it out, slowly walking towards the window you saw the movement and sure enough, there's another shadow that moves quickly past the glass. you gasp, stepping back in shock, almost running into your dining table but when the shadow reappears and stands right in front of you, on the opposite side of the glass it reminds you of just how you and jay were the first day of his confinement.
each of you on opposite ends of the glass, one looking in the other looking out; yet you both still felt the connection that was developing between denial of the truth and wanting to remain loyal to the nature you understand but ultimately choosing love over law.
when the shadow lurks forward, the moonlight shines just enough across his face to reveal jay with tired eyes and craved lips. "yn— please let me in." he didn't even need to ask before you're sliding your window open and helping him inside, not a care in the world for the dirt he tracks into your home or the fact that he looks like he's been through hell.
"jay—" he cuts you off with a kiss, hands cupping your face in a desperate act to hold you close like you'd be gone if he didn't do it in that exact second. the kiss isn't any like you've shared before. it's passionate and laced with a spirited type of devotion that you've never bore into anyone you knew.
jay kissed you like it was his last, tongue against flesh, teeth pressed against teeth, and breath so close they'd become one.
"i fucking missed you—" jay says in between kisses, tongue darting forward to twist with yours and you can feel the way his tongue grows in length, almost falling into the your throat and traveling down your esophagus. your fingers fisted the thin shirt he's wearing that's now covered in dirt and sweat— his sweet sweet scent that you've grown addicted to but you wanted jay in so many different ways that you didn't even need his scent or his mind control to act.
this was all your own doing. your own will. your own mind.
jay doesn't let go of your face even when he pulls away from the kiss, both your lips a tad swollen and covered in each other's spit. "i'm so sorry, jay. i'm sorry for all i did to you i—"
"hey.. hey… it's okay. it's okay." he hushes you with a hug, pulling you into his big arms and resting your face against his chest like his body was armor to protect you. he whispers in your ear everything you need to hear while rubbing your back, soothing the hurricane of worry and doubt in your head.
"there's nothing to be sorry for. i've forgiven you before you even apologized. you didn't even need to, i know how you must be feeling and i hold nothing against you. i promise, baby. you're good. i'm good. we're good. okay?" he says, grabbing your face gently again to make you look up at him, round glassy eyes that he just loves so much— even without your glasses.
"okay?" he asks again and you finally nod, reaching upward to kiss him again.
"can— can i make love to you, yn?"
you pause when he asks you. even now— even when he's just run from his captors and into your arms, the person who is responsible and the very reason why he's on the run in the first place, he's put you first, asking to make love to you in the gentlest voice and kindest eyes. even now, he wants you despite how you've treated him but that's because jay can see the humanity in your eyes.
not the kind of humanity that made you hateful and violent towards alien, but the kind of humanity that's rooted in empathy and guilt that makes one want to become better for someone else— then for yourself.
"yes."
the simple three letter word falls from your lips like an anchor and it drags your faces together again, lips locking in a heated kiss that moves the two of you in a stumble towards your bedroom, knocking over paintings and framed pictures off the walls; bedroom door slamming open as you fumble with the doorknob and eventually, your back lands softly on your mattress with jay on top of you with nothing but unadulterated lust in his eyes.
a whiny gasp leaves your lips when you fall onto your bed, jay takes in the way you're laid out underneath him, he's breathing with his lips pulled apart like he can't breathe unless you're pressed against his mouth, tongue on skin, muscles against flesh.
jay tears at your clothes easily, ripping the silk fabric with swiftness and hunger, quick to get rid of the fragile barrier of your body and his possession on your skin. "mine. mine. mine. mine." he says in between placing kisses from the center of your chest and down your stomach.
small wet kisses trail down your body as jay stops just above your pussy, the fabric of your soft pink underwear already soaking at the touch of jay's mouth against your body. "so wet for me, aren't you? bet you want me to eat you up, huh?" jay asks teasingly, slightly biting into the flesh of your thighs, earning him a whimper and a slight nudge of your hand as you play with his hair.
"jay– don't tease me please." you whine and he laughs at how desperate you are even if he hasn't done much. "don't worry baby, i'll give it all to you but right now, i want to try something, you trust me right?"
you nod rapidly, biting down on your lip; "words baby."
"yes, jay. i trust you just — please do something." you're bucking your hips upwards in an attempt to feel anything aside from his warmth breath on your sensitivity. you can hear the way his back splits open and a singular tentacle— long, thick, and covered in his essence stretches from behind and slowly slithers along your body.
jay uses his tentacle to massage your tits, covering them in a thick goo-like substance before it tugs your panties down, your hips instinctually raising so it's easier to remove them. he crawls over your body, stopping right when his crotch is hovered over your face and before you can let out another whine, jay's tentacle flexes at your folds, the squishy yet firm tip prodding at your pussy before it pushes inside of you, stretching you open as it gets thicker the further it goes down from the tip.
"fuck— jay fuck fuck fuck" is all you can say as his tentacle pushes deeper and deeper. the way you're getting wet allows for him to get inside of you with ease, sopping wet sounds fill the room partnered with your foul curses as jay uses his tentacle to fuck you. "you like that? such a filthy mouth— have i ever told you that?" jay asks, tilting his head mockingly.
you can't even respond because jay's pressing his aching cock against your lips, asking for entry. "let me in baby— let me in that filthy mouth of yours." your lips pull apart to take him inside of you, tears pooling at your lashes as jay fucks into your mouth, nose pressed against his skin.
"god– you're fuckin filthy. always saying so much with that pretty mouth of yours; finally got you to shut up with a cock in your mouth, huh?"
you don't know where this attitude of jay's came from but by the way your clenching around his tentacles and your back is arching, you both can tell it's making you feel real real good.
"yeah, baby— just like that. got you so fucking stuffed, don't i?"
jay pulls his cock out of your mouth, you're gasping for air as he leans down to your face, grabbing you by the hair and pressing your lips together in a sloppy and spit filled kiss. "m'close jay.." you whimper against his mouth and he smiles into the kiss.
"cum for me, baby. want you to soak me again, i've missed it." he says before crouching over and placing his face at your pussy, replacing his tentacle with his tongue, lapping and sucking at your pussy that's been stretched wide for him. jay hooks his arms underneath your thighs to pull you closer to him while his tentacle finds your neck, squeezing lightly; the other massaging your breasts— putting you into a position that's got your body restrained by his in a pleasure filled disposition.
your pussy clenches around and you're barely able to moan out his name because of the tentacle wrapped your throat as you cum, juices squirting over jay's face as he drinks up every ounce like it's water from the fountain of youth. "pussy tastes so good— could eat you for hours– fuck." jay groans against your pussy, stickiness pressed against his face as he goes back in for more.
jay's long tongue stretches out of his mouth as he licks your cum off of his face, once again crawling over your shaking body as he stops when his face is just above yours. "i'm gonna fuck this pussy full— you think you can take that, baby?" you reach forward and pull his face down into a kiss, you can taste yourself on his tongue and it drives the two of you insane. "jay?" you ask, breath heavy.
"yes, baby?"
"have you ever fucked yourself?"
jay blinks at you, unsure if he heard you right. "wh– what?" he asks.
"the way you fucked me just now with your tentacle— have you ever done that to yourself?"
"i don't think i can say i have– why? do you want me to?"
you nod shyly, "fuck me with your cock while you fuck yourself— we'll be tied up like we're one." you whisper such nasty things in such a sweet tone that jay finds himself getting excited, cock growing and growing inside of his pants that it's begun to poke out of the waistband.
"i've never done that before but for you? i'll do anything, baby." he says, placing another kiss on your lips before removing his own clothes. he's situated on top of you but you stop him just as he's positioning his cock at your entrance.
"what's wrong?" he asks.
"i want to ride you— you'll fit inside me better if i ride you; i want to feel all of you."
fuck. you're going to be the death of him.
jay's tentacles wrap around the two of you, flipping you both over with swiftness with you now straddling his hips, your pussy soaking his cock as they rub against each other. jay's got his knees propped up as you hover above him, grabbing his massive cock that needs more than your own two hands to even wrap around it. his cock is huge in an unserious way, comically large that it leaves you laughing at it's size being so unreal yet intimidating.
"just ease onto it, baby. it's my first time too— we're in this together." jay says, referring to your first time fucking an alien and when you push the tip of his cock slightly into your folds, the stretch from before allows you to slide down just enough— about a third of the way before you find yourself grabbing on his knees for support.
his tentacles grab hold of your waist and arms, securely holding you above him so that you won't have to do too much of the work and after some encouraging words that jay coos at you with swollen lips and his tentacle padding at your clit, you finally feel the way the thick base of his cock leaves you gaping and stretched open— taking all of jay's cock inside you to the point the silhouette of his cock is very apparent against your stomach.
"shit— that's me right there." jay says while using his hand to trail the outline of his cock inside of you. "i— i don't think i can move."
"it's okay, baby. let's— let's do what you said, hmm?"
one of jay's tentacles moves towards the softness of his ass and he hesitates for a moment, looking over at you for reassurance and you nod at him with half lidded eyes, your bottom lip in between your teeth in a quiet excitement; jay's cock still buried deep inside of your cunt that you swear you can feel him near your heart.
jay slowly pushes his tentacle into his ass, his hole stretching open slowly like he did to you and he can't lie and say it felt bad because the way his eyes rolled backwards and a whimper left his lips the more he felt his tentacle go deeper inside of him the more he became a moaning mess.
"feel good, jay?" you ask and he's whimpering and moaning like no other, body vibrating so much that you can feel the way his muscles are contracting inside of you— hips rutting into your pussy, digging into your guts in a routine motion of jay's hips moving so that he can fuck you and himself at the same time— an overwhelming pleasure that neither of you want to end.
"so— so fucking good, baby."
jay's got you elevated into the air, the one wrapped around your waist moving you up and down on his cock with ease as he bucks his hips, wet noises filling the space as he fucks you and himself like a cycle. you're both clenching, holes wet and sopping; moaning each other's name like gospel and prayers.
"fucking nasty for me— fucking yourself while you fuck me 'cause you like me so much don't you? so. fucking. nasty." you say with each of jay's thrusts as your bodies fight for control over the other.
he's got another tentacle that slithers across your body before it wraps itself around your neck, tip opening your mouth to fill your holes in a possessive way where jay wants you to be filled with nothing but him.
you're barely able to breathe as jay's in absolution— face filled with bliss and pleasure as his eyes lock yours, hips moving faster and faster as he pounds into you from below, tip of his cock pushing at your insides to make room for him like he was going to find permanent residence inside of you.
"feel s'good jay— don't stop please don't stop." you manage to mumble past the grip of his tentacle around your neck, back arching as your hips ass bounces on jay as he uses his tentacles to fuck you like some sex toy he can just manhandle into any position to fuck you as much as he wants.
jay can feel you clenching around him and it drives him over the edge— "shit– don't do that you're gonna make me cum— fuck!"
"cum– cum in me jay. please i need it— i want you to fill me please please."
his incredible physique helps in the way he's fucking you faster and faster, the two of you now too fucked out to even say any words— just gasps, whiny moans, and broken whimpers blend together as your bodies move in concert.
jay's cock grows and throbs inside of you as he pumps his cum deep inside of you, painting your insides with his sticky and glowing cum, rutting and knotting your pussy so that he can make sure he fucks his cum so deep that you'll be leaking for hours and feel the indent of his cock inside you for days.
"fuuuck" you both huff as he presses you firmly against himself, skin to skin as he pumps his cum into you in an never ending stream that begins to cream at the base of his cock, spurting from your pussy and bubbling at your thighs the more he fucks into you.
the two of you come down from your high even if neither of you want to. breathing in unison as your chest falls and rises together— skin damp in sweat with jay's scent filling your nose in an addictive nature. his tentacles finally let go of you and you fall forward and onto jay's chest, he catches you with secure arms; hugging you like a quiet celebration. "did so good, baby. good job." he says, brushing your hair and pressing a kiss on your temple.
"did you like it, jay?" you ask, referring to jay doing anal on himself with his own tentacle and he's been in so much lustful pleasure that he's forgotten about the way his ass is filled with himself. he moans in your ear as he pulls out, the empty feeling leaving him wanting more and expecting more in the future. "i loved it, baby— you're so fucking filthy; i love it."
you can feel the way his cum leaks out of you, sheets soaked and coating the both of your legs. "should we clean up?" jay suggests and he feels you shake your head against his bare chest. "no— let's just sleep… i don't want to let you go." you're so soft for him, body pressed and molded to his as he hugs you closer to his body— "i won't let go. never."
✶
the next morning when you wake up with your face pressed against jay's chest and the blanket pulled over your bodies, the sun lightly beaming through the blinds, you feel like nothing could be better than this.
"you awake?" jay asks, yawning and blinking at the light in his face.
you hum in response as the two of you sit up against your headboard, blanket clinging to your bodies. "you feeling alright?" and before you can even answer everything else comes flooding inside of your brain— the momentary bliss of laying in silence in jay's arms cracks when you think about how you got here in the first place.
"hey— hey, what's wrong?" he asks, reaching forward and grabbing your hands, massaging them. "i just— what are we going to do now? you're wanted and i'm scared they're going to take you away from— jay i can't let that happen. i won't."
"it's okay— i'm not leaving i promise. i won't leave you i won't let them take me away. they can try all the want but nothing is tearing us apart. i'll spill blood if i have to."
there's a moment in everyone's relationship where something happens that compares to an attempt of saying "i love you" when you know it's too early to say it. some couples will show this type of devotion in physical actions, heartfelt words, or meaningful moments— for you and jay it was just a bit different.
you both know that love lies between the two of you for longer than you may've known but when you chose to turn your back against everything you knew about yourself and chose an alien over humanity in a flawed type of fashion that contradicts the law you raised yourself in and when jay told you that he would kill and spill blood in order to keep the two of you together when he said himself that he hated his species natural violent ways, there was a silent agreement that this was the way you both showed love to each other.
"can i ask you something, jay?" you say, looking down at your hands, jay's thumb rubbing calming circles on your knuckles. "anything."
"why don't you hate me?"
jay wasn't expecting that but he knew the answer right away.
he smiles at you tenderly as he looks at the small pout on your lips. "because you're not someone to be hated. you're you— unapologetically and that's what i like about you. i could never hate you for anything because you taught me humanity even if you didn't know it."
"but i'm a terrible person— i treated you so terribly, you should hate me"
"but i don't. i told you you're not someone to be hated, you're someone to be loved despite what flaws you think you have. i want to show you how i've learned to love because i knew you and—" he pauses for a second as your eyes meet together.
"i just want you to like me— regardless of who i am."
romaincrisis
dededos
germansingergirl
janainaart
snowghoul
yousharknotpass
