⋆˙⟡ lacey

infj-t | multifandom freak

[sunriseblvdd]

as much as it very much is an important issue that woc have been written off the show recently (first collins, then mohan, now javadi), I do need people to realize that shabana confirming javadi won't be in the ER in s3 DOESN'T mean we won't see her in s3 at all. it isn't necessarily another instance of her being "written off", because throughout s2 it was made clear that she has a strong passion for psychiatry. She needs to be shown spending time pursuing that at some point, otherwise, it won't be taken too seriously and would simply be something that is mentioned in passing that has little substance to it.

[sunriseblvdd]

take mohan, for instance. throughout s2, she's seen taking care of elderly patients and many of her peers (such as robby & al-hashimi from what I remember) have told her that she'd do well in geriatrics. that has been established, hence why her leaving makes sense. javadi on the other hand only explicitly mentions that she has an interest in psychiatry in her conversation with whitaker near the end of s2, as well as it being shown through her caring a lot about her patients' mental health (which totally makes sense!!!). but with javadi, it feels as though her story is more complicated because we are aware of her mother's pressure on her to do well. so her going into the psychiatric field is not something her mother would approve of (I assume), and knowing that, that is something the writers likely want to delve into more in s3. that's why she won't be in the ER.

[sunriseblvdd]

as much as it very much is an important issue that woc have been written off the show recently (first collins, then mohan, now javadi), I do need people to realize that shabana confirming javadi won't be in the ER in s3 DOESN'T mean we won't see her in s3 at all. it isn't necessarily another instance of her being "written off", because throughout s2 it was made clear that she has a strong passion for psychiatry. She needs to be shown spending time pursuing that at some point, otherwise, it won't be taken too seriously and would simply be something that is mentioned in passing that has little substance to it.

[sunriseblvdd]

hucklerobby being sidelines by phoebe bridgers coded….walk with me now…

the first verse is very robby coded in itself. he’s seen a lot in all his years of being in the medical field, this is said in the show so it’s not particularly new information.

“‘Cause nothing ever shakes me, nothing makes me cry”

mainly how he tends to mask his deteriorating mental health from everyone he knows, putting on the whole tough guy persona. rather than getting sad, he gets angry. he gets upset. he finds reasons to lash out at people because he needs some way to lighten the load of everything that’s going on internally.

but he noticeably doesn’t lash out unless it has to do with patients. if a patient is at risk due to a mistake made or the slightest hesitation, he won’t have it (so i guess he does get shaken, but again, he tries to mask it or ignore it).

^ to clarify, in season one, he masks his anger pretty well. but in season two, we see him getting more upset because things have gotten significantly worse for him and he tells himself he has nothing to lose if he just damages all the relationships he has. he doesn’t care anymore.

“Watched the world from the sidelines”

refers to how he tended to hover and linger around everyone else a lot throughout season 2, but not noticeably. he stayed in the background, literally watching everything unfold from the sidelines. this is him distancing himself from everyone.

“‘Til you came into my life, gave me something to lose”

wanna guess who “you” is? yup!!! it’s whitaker!!! the golden child, the one person that aside from abbot, robby places most of his trust in.

near the end of season 2, robby tells dana that he isn’t sure if whitaker can “handle his shit” after he asked him to house sit for him while he goes on his sabbatical. dare i say that “his shit” isn’t just referring to his house, but rather all the emotional baggage that robby carries? he’s afraid that if he somehow fucks up and whitaker sees that ugliness that he desperately tries to hide from him because he wants to maintain this perfect image of himself for whitaker, he’ll lose him.

it’s important to remember that whitaker is also, throughout season 2, the only person that robby doesn’t lash out at (at least from what i remember, don’t quote me on that). whitaker is also mainly the only person who gives robby the space he needs, vaguely knowing that he’s stressed but not knowing exactly over what.

there is a clear mutual respect between the two, and robby admires whitaker for these reasons, which is why he doesn’t want to show him his struggles. even the pedes scene itself was far too much, because whitaker saw him at literally his most vulnerable state.

last thing, promise!! (i could do a full analysis on all the lyrics but this is already far too long, so i won’t)

“Now i know what it feels like to wanna go outside”

Robby “going outside” would be him wanting to place his trust in someone else. To trust that person to understand who he is, to see him vulnerable and not use that against him.

because whitaker has time and time showed up again and again for robby, been there for him, etc., it makes robby want to trust him (if he doesn’t already). he trusted whitaker to keep the pedes scene a secret, and he did (until robby outs himself during the fight scene with langdon #rip), and that makes him more inclined to want to be vulnerable with him even though it might mean that he might lose him in the process of doing so.

sorry if this is completely nonsensical, it’s 2 am and i’m lowkey sleep deprived and should be studying for finals but im doing this instead. thank u for coming to my ted talk 🙂‍↕️

[deh-fanzine]

It’s end of May or early june…

Happy Tree Bros Week 🌲🌲🌲:3

one of my favorite ship !

[sunriseblvdd]

robby telling everyone to wait up for him after everything has calmed down & whitaker being the only one to really respect that is so important to me. the fact that whitaker has time and time again shown up for robby, whether it be sitting beside him during the pedes breakdown scene, to repeating his own advice back to him and later to ogilvie in the ambulance bay, to so many more other small gestures that show that he cares really solidifies why he’s the new “golden child” and why robby has an incredibly obvious preference for him. whitaker is there when no one else bothers to be & hears robby out because he looks up to him so much, hence why robby tries so desperately to preserve this view he has of him.

[sunriseblvdd]

HI LACEY HOW DO U FEEL ABOUT WHITTAKER

WHITAKER IS MY GOAT !!! I truly love everything about him 🙈

[sunriseblvdd]

thinking about that one scene in s2 where whitaker talks to jefferson about his elderly patient & how robby just lingers near them for almost *too* long

(please excuse how blurry this is jsjsjs)

"I don't really have a reason to admit her." "But I do." these lines in particular stand out (even though they are talking about whitaker's patient) because jefferson is VERY aware of robby's poor mental health while robby always tries to keep up this perfect image of himself for whitaker & tries to hide the cracks that jefferson has seen hence why he lingers. he's afraid that 1) whitaker will ask jefferson about him, or 2), jefferson will (whether intentionally or not) mention something about it