super cult show super blog

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Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Signoffs” with a minor in “Fun While It Lasted”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of The Supercult Super Dub of The Cat!

HAHA! Look at all these slack jawed people looking at this animal-themed mobile!

1990s lightning effects! Woo!

That is a girl not a cat. I was under the assumption that this was a solo act of the broadway musical CATS

Alright, captions, here we go… uh…the CAT! It’s a movie and this is a poster for that movie!

Yes. I understand this scene. It is the part where the characters try to clean the cat’s litter box.

Oh god! The Cat allergens! They’re EVERYWHERE!

I…I don’t know. I’m lost. Let’s just move on.

As we all know, The Cat, released in 1992, is a pretty unremarkable film. It was directed by Ngai Choi Lam, the same man behind Supercult Classic Ricki-Oh, and the story is somehow connected to Supercult Classic the Seventh Curst by way of the recurring character Wisely, hence The Cat is also known as Wisely’s Old Cat in Chinese. Other than that, this is your standard king-fu cat scenario. As one reviewer on Rotten Tomatoes put it, “Nothing Special about this movie, Asian Sci Fi is what I would call it, Might keep the interest of someone between the ages of 10-15. A Space Cat comes to Earth to chase away thr evil Monster from outer Space. There is a dog and cat fight in the movie that makes this movie worth watching, Also the Cat has 2 Human Type Friends, a very beautiful girl and a Old Man, Its slow in parts, good subtitles. 3 Stars”

Supercult first screened The Cat back in May 2019 as a double feature with Christopher Walken’s Puss in Boots. We watched Puss in Boots first (great film by the way, Christopher Walken is a cat, he’s a kitty cat, and he meow, meow, meows and he meow, meow, meows!) but then when we got to The Cat we found that the Youtube link for the film was no longer working. One of our members performed an arcane ritual to grab a DVD rip of the film on short notice, but the only subtitles for this violently Chinese film were in Spanish. SO, like any enterprising, digitally savvy, bad-movie-watching audience, we ran the subtitles through a translation app, popped them back onto the video, and spent the next hour and a half watching a movie with mistranslated, desynched subtitles that had suddenly gone from baffling to Supercult Classic Furious levels of bewildering.

After such a rough time the sunk cost fallacy started kicking in. The Supercult show runners looked at each other, looked at The Cat, then back to each other and said, “Screw it. Let’s just dub it ourselves.” One $30 mic, a handful of recording sessions, several gallons of alcohol, a deep learning program for removing lyrics from songs, some editing #skillz, and a year and a half later and our Frankenstein’s monster of a film is finally complete. We even stuck a Supercult bumper and jingle to the front of the film. We might as well have bought the thing on VHS on sale from a Supercult themed thrift shop!

And so, Supercult proudly presents The Supercult Super Dub of The Cat!

Starring:

Logan Kelly as Wisely

Cassandra Hanks as Sally, Detective #2, Alien Girl, and Policeman #2

Jared Wright as Inspector Wong, and Detective #1

Jacob Zimmer as Errol (Old Man Alien), Museum Security Guard, Mr. Chen (Dog Guy), and Veterinarian Yu

Jose ‘Weecho’ Velasquez as Tony, the TV News Reporter, News Police, Policeman #1, and the Detective

Amparo Torres Kelly as Vet Assistant

Bill Derrington as Gang Leader

Garret Broussard as Journalist

and featuring Cameron Coker as The Cat

It’s a momentous day in Supercult history, folks. It is also my last day as Supercult Bad Movie Professor! Since I received tenure in 2013, I have written over 275 Supercult Speeches for everything from Hell Comes to Frogtown, my very first speech, to what seems like a dozen different speeches for the same damn movie: Super Happy Fun Monkey Bash. We’ve seen some good movies, some bad movies, and some stuff in between, but even if the movie put us to sleep, it was never boring with an audience as great as the one we have for Supercult.

So, without further ado, I resign my position as Supercult Bad Movie Professor and Supercult West proudly presents the Supercult Super Dub of The Cat!

Supercult Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker, 2013-2020

The Supercult Super Dub of The Cat Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Signoffs” with a minor in “Fun While It Lasted”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of The Supercult Super Dub of The Cat!

[supercultshow]

The Lord Cage’s Prayer:

Our Father, which art in Snake Eyes, Nicolas be thy name; thy Face/Off come; thy Con-Air be done, on earth as it is in Deadfall. Give us this day our daily Ghost Rider. And forgive him for Trespass, as we forgave him for Windtalkers. And lead us not into Adaptation; but deliver us from The Rock. For thine is the Wicker Man, the National Treasure, for ever and ever.

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Spontaneous Combustion” with a minor in “A man without a truck isn’t a man!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Supercult Saint Nic Cage in Between Worlds!

When all-American down-on-his-luck truck driver Joe meets spiritualist and choking enthusiast Julie, it seems like Joe will finally be able to put his tragic past behind him and find love once again. Joe even helps Billie bring her comatose daughter back to life! But the dream swiftly turns into a nightmare when it becomes clear that someone might have hitched a ride back to the world of the living along with Billie. Now Joe is caught between his new life with Julie and the ghosts of his old life come back to haunt him. Nicolas Cage is Between Worlds!

There’s a LOT of posters for this film.

I would pay money to watch Nic Cage just stare vacantly at a burning house for 90 minutes.

The Spanish title is “The Portal of Death” while the Japanese title is simply “To Hell”.

Wait, the Japanese poster removes Nic Cage’s aviators? Is Nic Cage unrecognizable in Japan with sunglasses??

Hey look it’s Ganeida from the new Hellboy film! What’s that? Nobody saw the newest Hellboy film? Okay, fair enough, as you were.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fecUFWOUMyg

*Bonk*

“Want a beer?” “”Does the Tin Man have a sheet metal cock?”

This just seems like a normal day in Nic Cage’s life.

Released in 2018, Between Worlds was written, produced, and directed by Maria Pulera, a relatively new indie film maker with just 3 titles to her name. Pulera said that she initially wrote Between Worlds as a fairly standard thriller, but later made it “a much more surreal drama in the vein of David Lynch.” Lynch-ian is a decent descriptor for Between Worlds, but then again so is Freudian, Cage-ian, and Twin Peaks-ian, seeing as how the characters, the shots, and even some of the music seem to be either influenced by or created by Twin Peaks people.

One must wonder what the script looked like before Pulera added in bizarre nods to the audience like Joe reading from a book titled “Memories” by Nicolas Cage, or unsettling scenes like when Cage and Billie watch a nature documentary while masturbating together on a couch. Was there ever a point when Pulera imagined a “normal” movie about Nic Cage being seduced by his murderous dead wife’s soul inside the body of a teenager? Would that alternate dimension “normal” movie have received more than a 32% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes? Would it have received less than an 85% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes?

As you can tell, Between Worlds is a movie that raises more questions than it answers. It’s not quite as outrageous as Drive Angry, as horrific as Mandy, as dramatic as Adaptation, or as hilarious as Vampire’s Kiss, but more than any of our past Nic Cage offerings here at Supercult this film is by far the most unsettling. At what point does surrealism turn to just plain insanity? When does a film all about making you uncomfortable go full circle into reassuring nihilism? When is a film both self-aware and also wildly blind to how unbearably queasy it is? The answer to all of those questions is, “In about 5 minutes when we all experience this thing together!”

There is a Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain!

Supercult West is proud to present, as part of this very special Nic Cage Double Feature, Between Worlds!

Between Worlds The Lord Cage’s Prayer: Our Father, which art in Snake Eyes, Nicolas be thy name; thy Face/Off come;

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The Lord Cage’s Prayer:

Our Father, which art in Snake Eyes, Nicolas be thy name; thy Face/Off come; thy Con-Air be done, on earth as it is in Deadfall. Give us this day our daily Ghost Rider. And forgive him for Trespass, as we forgave him for Windtalkers. And lead us not into Adaptation; but deliver us from The Rock. For thine is the Wicker Man, the National Treasure, for ever and ever.

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Southern Drawls” with a minor in “Playing Footsie”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Supercult Saint Nic Cage in Grand Isle!

Young father, newlywed, and failing entrepreneur Buddy works as a freelance handyman to make ends meet. But when he takes a job fixing the fence of Walker, a ‘cagey’ ex-Marine, and his femme fatale wife Fancy, the job gets a little complicated. Soon a hurricane turns the simple house call into a tense sleepover and Buddy is caught in the middle of a deadly feud complete with tense conversations loaded with sexual innuendo and the occasional knife fight. So, you know. A normal Nic Cage film.

Is the house in Hell or something? That’s Cage’s character’s house from the film, right? So that would mean Nicolas Cage is the Lord of Hell!

That guy on the bottom of that box art better serpentine or something. No way Nic Cage is going to miss a straight shot at that distance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psohekS8TYo

KaDee Strickland who plays the seductive and vengeful housewife Fancy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKXtv2_IaCY

“Hey there, want to paint my fence?” ; )

This is the most American image ever. Avert your gaze lest ye be inspired to shit freedom and piss rock and roll.

Working from home is tough, guys. Don’t judge.

I feel like Luke Benward, who played Buddy, knew exactly what he was getting into with this film.

“What do you think? Do these shoes match this dress? Be honest.”

“Eeeyup. That’s a broken fence alright.”

Quite a restrained performance from Cage this time around.

This girl’s a good actor. If Nic Cage gagged and pointed a gun at me I’d be so star struck I’d wet myself.

Released in 2019, Grand Isle is the latest and greatest Nic Cage film released to date. With award winning actor Kelsey Grammer shoring up the cast as Detective Jones and direction from Stephen S. Campanelli, a relatively new director but an amazing Camera Operator on similar dramas like Million Dollar Baby, Mystic River, and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, it’s hard to imagine this movie being terrible. Crazy? Yes. Hilarious? Absolutely. After all, this is a Nic Cage film. We watch Nic Cage films for the same reason most people watch NASCAR: just in case something goes horribly wrong.

But it’s fine. There are no unscripted Cage-ian freak outs. No face meltingly insane acting extravaganzas. There’s some typically bizarre delivery and some embarrassingly bad Louisiana accents, but that’s about it. Everyone plays it by the script… which is exactly the problem. Grand Isle is written by Rich Ronat and Iver William Jallah who have fewer combined writing credits to their names than Nicolas Cage has balls in his pants. Their screenplay, which was originally called “Fancy, Buddy, and Mr. Walter”, evolved into a brisk 97-minute-long film with all the elements of a respectable Southern thriller. It’s campy, violent, and titillating, all good ingredients for a classic Supercult screening but it somehow also manages to be formulaic, trite, predictable, and just plane boring. Even Nicolas Cage seems to be sleepwalking through this one, which is a shame because he’s made worse plots into cult sensations in the past. Perhaps even Nicholas Mage himself can’t conjure enough life into this lifeless excuse for a screenplay.

Even so, Grand Isle will inevitably become a notorious film in the Nic Cage pantheon. For one thing it’s the first collaboration between Cage and Kelsey Grammer, but it’s also Cage’s lowest grossing film and one of only two films in his 40 year and over 100 movie career to ever receive a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, the second ever since Deadfall in 1993.

It’s not his best work, but like the supportive bad movie watching party we are, Supercult sticks by Nic Cage through thick and then. What, you think that all Nic Cage movies are hilarious masterpieces? What do you think this is, Hollywood? New York? You’re in Grand Isle, son – we don’t subscribe to that big city nonsense.

Supercult West is proud to present, Grand Isle.

Grand Isle The Lord Cage’s Prayer: Our Father, which art in Snake Eyes, Nicolas be thy name; thy Face/Off come;

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Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Improvised Weapons” with a minor in “Never Meet Your Childhood Heroes”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Dial Code Santa Claus, the movie that tried to sue Home Alone!

Thomas de Frémont is a child prodigy obsessed with tinkering and action films living in a teched out mansion with his broken but lovable family. He’s like Tony Stark, Richie Rich, and Charlie Bucket all rolled up into one mullet-headed package! But when he accidentally calls a murderous homeless man while attempting to contact Santa Claus, he unwittingly triggers a deadly Christmas-themed game of cat and mouse. Everything’s fun and games until a vagrant thinks he’s Santa and breaks into your home when your Mom is away and kills the family dog. From then on, it’s basically 12-year old John Wick vs Father Christmas with a series of booby traps, inventions, and improvised weaponry. Classic Holiday fun, eh Supercultists!

Holy smokes what an intense poster!

I honestly can’t tell how much of that equipment is real and how much of it is made of cheap plastic.

I FOUND YOU! Now this time I’ll hide and you find me!

Wait, is there a subplot with that horrifying Christmas Goblin on the left battling Peter Pan like in Small Soldiers?

This looks like a 1990s computer tutorial for kids.

Double bulls eye! That’s 100 points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XOzScQ9L0o

Bad Santa doesn’t look like that bad of a movie anymore does it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEkrWRHCDQU

This movie has so many titles and yes I couldn’t find a poster that said “Dial Code Santa Claus”…

Unfortunately, that’s not the Power Glove from Wizards, but we think it’s “So, Bad” all the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LZo9ugJTWQ

“You killed my dog… This is my home… And you’ll be sorry you ever came.”

Santa’s about to get run over by the family car.

Why Santa! WHY!

Dial Code Santa Claus, also called 36.51 Code Père Noël, Deadly Games, Game Over, and Hide and Freak, is a French horror-thriller written and directed by René Manzor. It was actually Manzor’s first and most successful films. It was edgy, fearless films like this one that caught the attention of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas who hired him to direct several episodes of their TV show, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles.

While the film only recently had its premier at Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas in 2018, it originally premiered at the Laon Film Festival of Youth and Children’s Films in 1989 with a theatrical release in 1990 in France. Later at the 1990 Fantafestival for sci-fi, fantasy, and horror films 36.51 Code Père Noël won awards for best Director and Best Film. Critics praised the film for its complexity, creativity, and for daring to take the story to dark places while still keeping a warm Christmas-y core. Despite some clumsiness here and there, the film masterfully draws you in with rated G humor in the first half before springing a rated R slasher trap in the back half creating a one-of-a-kind horror experience.

And then, less than a year later Home Alone came out in America and made nearly $500 million worldwide. Home Alone, was number one in theatres for 12 weeks straight, well past the Holiday season, was the highest-grossing live action comedy film of all time until The Hangover part II overtook it in 2011, and is still the highest grossing Christmas film of all time. It makes sense that Manzor would allege that Home Alone (which carried the name “Mom, I Missed the Plane” in France) was heavily inspired by his film. Child defends his home from Christmas invaders using household items while his parents are away? It’s all there, man. I mean, other than all the murder, the psychopathic killer, and the general difference in tone and genre we can totally see why Manzor threatened legal action against the film saying that they had “remade my movie.”

As far as I can tell nothing ever came of any lawsuits, but we did get a sweet movie about a kid going Rambo on Kris Kringles jolly ass! It’s a darker, scarier version of the Macaulay Culkin classic! It’s violent, sometimes nonsensical, and full of something red and viscous that we sure hope is the Christmas Spirit!

Supercult West is proud to present, Dial Code Santa Claus!

Dial Code Santa Claus Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Improvised Weapons” with a minor in “Never Meet Your Childhood Heroes”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Dial Code Santa Claus, the movie that tried to sue Home Alone!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (with double major BS’s in “Zombies” and “Paul W.S. Anderson” with minors in “Narrated Intros” and “Ending the World on Our Terms”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of all six Resident Evil films! It’s the Resident Evil Butt-Numb-A-Thon!

  THAT’s your chief of security uniform? I mean…okay, fine, I get it. It’s that sort of movie

Real dogs, fake gore, and a staple in both the films and the games.

This thing is called a licker. There is no joke.

Get up Michelle Rodriguez! You can’t die here! Dom needs you in, like, 6 other films!

“Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!”

Let’s set the terms!

Tonight, we will attempt to sit through all of the Resident Evil films. That’s Resident Evil (2002), Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), Resident Evil: Extinction (2007), Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), and Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016). Hopefully we’ll get through them before James Wan, one of the major creative forces behind both the Saw and Insidious franchises, produces the reboot that was announced in 2017.

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TRIVIA! The Resident Evil game series began in 1996 and is credited for popularizing the survival horror genre of video games as well as re-popularizing zombies in mainstream pop culture from the late 90s onwards. Which is probably why the person brought on to spearhead the film adaptation was George A. Romero, the man who effectively redefined the term “zombie” with his indie horror series, beginning with Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead in the 60s and 70s. Can’t you feel the electricity? The merging of the classic and the contemporary into something wholly original? No, neither can I. This is Hollywood after all. No sooner was Romero brought in than his script was rejected by producers and Romero was replaced with Paul W.S. Anderson.

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Anderson is an English director, producer, and screenwriter who gained notoriety by directing one of the first successful video game films, Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat (1995). While Anderson has worked on many gore-tastic action/horror/sci-fi popcorn films like Death Race, Alien vs Predator, and Event Horizon, his main claim to fame is as the driving creative force behind the Resident Evil film franchise.

3D, aka, stuff flying at your face-o-vision!

So we’ve graduated from Desert Storm to Ninja Showdown, huh? Almighty then.

Widow’s peak hairlines and creepy eyes are all the rage in the zombie apocalypse.

That can’t be good.

During filming, Milla Jovovich accidentally shot out a $100,000 camera. That’s what you get when things get a little too “3D”.

Every Resident Evil film stars Milla Jovovich as Alice who you may recognize from her roles as Leeloo in The Fifth Element, Violet from Ultraviolet, and as Mugatu’s henchwoman Katinka Ingabogovinanana in the Zoolander films! All six Resident Evil films were written by Paul W.S. Anderson, and four of the six are directed by Anderson as well. Anderson and Jovovich liked working with each other so much that they got married in 2009, somewhere between RE3: Extinction and RE4: Afterlife.

The character Becky was not originally to be hearing-impaired, but after an outstanding audition, the role was given to Aryana Engineer, who is hearing-impaired in real life.

Bingbing Li, who played Ada Wong in the film, had her entire dialogue dubbed by Sally Cahill who voiced Ada Wong in the video games.

Widow’s peak hair and sunglasses are so last season. Now it’s all about the cleavage bugs!

Give us a kiss!

How many action ladies in tight clothes can we put on screen at one time? One…Two…

In spite of the series’ consistently awful critical reviews with Rotten tomatoes scores ranging from 37% for The Final Chapter to 22% for Afterlife, the franchise as a whole has raked in over $1.2 billion worldwide, making it the Guinness World Record holder for both the “Most Live-Action Film Adaptations of a Video Game” and “the most successful movie series to be based on a video game.” But, to say that the Resident Evil franchise is based on a video game is like saying that National Treasure is based on American History or that Tommy Wiseau is based on a normal human being.

There are 11 goddamn taglines for this film…

“The beginning of the end.” “Back to the Hive.” “The end of all the destruction.”

“Evil comes home.” “Evil will end.” “It ends where it began.” “The journey ends.”

“Fight to survive.” “Finish the fight.”

“My name is Alice. This is the end of my story.” “Everything has led to this.”

Anderson said from the beginning when directing 2000’s Resident Evil that the film would not include any tie-ins with the video game series as “under performing movie tie-ins are too common and Resident Evil, of all games, deserved a good celluloid representation.” The closest we get to the plot of the games are some stolen proper nouns and musical numbers and visual gags such as in the first film when, after returning to an area the characters find that all the dead bodies have vanished, which is a direct riff on the fact that in many of the games bodies disappear when you leave and re-enter a room. So, what does that interpretation look like? What exactly do we have to look forward to for the next…*checks watch*…nine hours and forty-six minutes?

Well, get ready for a lot of Milla Jovovich doing a lot of her own stunts including several legit wall-runs that took several months of practice to perfect. Keep an eye out for non-CG dogs that have loads of makeup and prosthetics on them that the crew had a really hard time keeping the dogs from eating. Prepare for filming across 9 different countries including Germany, Japan, and South Africa. Get ready for a lot of narration including the phrase “My name is Alice” and plenty of actor swapping for recurring characters. Be prepared for Milla’s Worst Actress Razzie Award nominated performance in Resident Evil: Retribution, in which she lost to Kristen Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman and Twilight: Breaking Dawn.

Brace yourselves for the RE films to blunder through the early 2010s 3D fad by throwing random items at the camera. Watch out for some particularly gnarly stunts that sent dozens of crew members to the hospital and forced one stunt woman to have her arm amputated. And besides the occasional zombie here and there, be sure to check out all the lasers, clones, wire-frames, flashbacks, bio-weapons, computer child holograms, evil monochromatic rooms, action ladies in skin-tight outfits, unnecessarily corkscrewy vials of McGuffin goo and…Oh yeah, blood. Lots and lots and LOTS of blood.

There’s a lot more to say about this series, but we’ve got a long way to go and not enough alcohol to get us there if we dally too long here. Suffice it to say, Resident Evil may never be considered a good film, or even a cult film (due to its financial success), but we can now all agree that every film in the franchise is Supercult worthy.

Hold onto your butts, if you can still feel them that is.

Supercult West is proud to present, The Resident Evil film series in all its glory for the Resident Evil Butt-Numb-A-Thon!

  Resident Evil Butt-Numb-A-Thon Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (with double major BS’s in “Zombies” and “Paul W.S.

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Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “F*(#-ing Dagon” with a minor in “Miskatonic University, Home of the Fighting Cephalopods”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the Spanish Cosmic Horror, Dagon!

Get ready to stare into the abyss, Supercultists, because we’re about to talk about H.P. Lovecraft.

A cursed people… an ancient cult… a nightmare made real…

“The human world, it’s a mess. Life under da sea is better than anything they got up there!”

Good ol’ Miskatonic U!

Wait, I know this one! 30 minutes from now we’ll unmask the fish monster and it’ll be Old Man Jenkins wearing the rubber mask!

Kali Ma!!

Julio Fernández, known for REC, was executive producer.

The name of the cursed town is Inboca. Boca means mouth in Spanish, so translating and adding an “S”, you get In-s-mouth. Clever.

“Hoot hoot! Link! Look up here! It appears that the time has finally come for you to start your adventure! You will encounter many hardships ahead… That is your fate. Don’t feel discoura…”

Who’s got two ceremonial daggers and rolled poorly for his sanity check? THIS GUY!

Those buildings on stilts are traditional spanish grain silos. They usually have crosses at the top, but for the film the crosses were replaced with Tridents, the symbol of Dagon.

WELCOME TO INBOCA! COME AGAIN!

While many know of H.P. Lovecraft as the author of Call of Cthulhu, and the creator of goofy squid-faced monstrosities, Lovecraft’s impact on literature, horror, and philosophy are incalculable. In his lifetime Lovecraft suffered great personal tragedies including the psychotic breakdowns of his parents, wrote controversial and often outrage-inducing stories for the pulp magazine Weird Tales, invented a pantheon of horrific deities and monsters across numerous stories and novellas, corresponded with Conan the Barbarian creator Robert E. Howard, and was never able to provide for even basic expenses with his writing.

His legacy though, aside from inspiring everyone from Stephen King, Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, and Junji Ito to the band Metallica, the creators of the game Bloodborne, and even several religious and occult organizations, is the creation of Cosmic Horror or Lovecraftian Horror. In Cosmic Horror fear comes not from physical danger or gore, but from the realization of humanity’s insignificance in a universe of extreme indifference. Fear of the incomprehensible, the inevitable, and the fragility of human existence.

Unsurprisingly, these ideas are really, REALLY hard to portray in film. How do you show someone the unknown? How do you visualize the incomprehensible? How do you make an audience feel helpless or insignificant when they could just walk out of the theatre or turn off the TV? There are several high-budget films that grasp at the edges of these ideas. The Mist, The Thing, The Prince of Darkness, In the Mouth of Madness, Event Horizon, Annihilation, Birdbox, Uzumaki, and The Colour of Space to name just a few. But, there’s also a series of B-films and campy spoofs that somehow do the job just as well as the big boys. We’ve actually seen quite a few here at Supercult. Despite the title, Dagon is based more on Lovecraft’s novella The Shadow Over Innsmouth rather than the short story Dagon, but regardless of its source material, Dagon is probably one of the better interpretations of Lovecraft’s work.

Produced in Spain by the Barcelona film label Fantastic Factory, and released in 2001, Dagon is directed by Stuart Gordon and written by Dennis Paoli. Stuart Gordon you might remember as the director of Supercult Classics Re-Animator, From Beyond, and Castle Freak, all of which are either heavily inspired by or are direct adaptations of Lovecraft stories and all written or adapted by Paolini. Gordon also directed Supercult Classics Robot Jox and Space Truckers, so he’s practically a Supercult Saint at this point.

Dagon is not perfect. Heck, it’s not even all that good with a mediocre 69% on Rotten Tomatoes and box office earnings barely scratching at $150,000. But what it lacks in quality it certainly makes up for in respect for its source material. Through all the clunky scripting, bland performances, over-the-top concepts, and sometimes comical effects work, there is a dark, atmospheric tale with lofty aspirations. With effective atmosphere, nudity and gore that accentuates rather than distracts, and themes presented with a conviction that’s hard to ignore, Dagon remains one of the best Lovecraft films to date, far outshining many more recent film and game adaptations.

It’s the movie of your dreams!

Supercult West is proud to present, Dagon!

Dagon Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “F*(#-ing Dagon” with a minor in “Miskatonic University, Home of the Fighting Cephalopods”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the Spanish Cosmic Horror, Dagon!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Bigfoot Pitter Patter” with a minor in “Friendly Fire”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of SyFy and Asylum films’ Bigfoot!

Did you know that there are over 200 films and Television shows about Bigfoot? There’s Bigfoot vs Zombies (2016), Son of Bigfoot (2017), and even The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot (2019) just to name a few. I say ‘over 200’ because that’s just the stuff that has Bigfoot literally in the name. if you start counting things about Yeti’s like Snowbeast (1977) or Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon (2008), movies about Sasquatch like Sasquatch Hunters (2005), or things with ambiguous names like Exists (2014), or Harry and the Hendersons (1987), or the numerous pieces of media that mention or dedicate a scene to a bigfoot like Strange Wilderness (2008) or the gosh darn Goofy Movie (1995) the number must be well in the thousands.

Aim for bigfoot! Avoid hitting the monument! I mean…if you have to hit one of them go for Roosevelt, I guess, but we’d prefer you not.

“What is this, a hootenanny?”

How dare you get all the best lines!

Oh, but he’s back! He’s the man behind the mask! And he’s out of control!

Did you know that Bruce Davison directed this? It’s one of his only director credits which include 3 episodes of Harry and the Hendersons!

Flanel: The official textile of lumberjacks and ironically, environmentalists.

If you wanted to see a big CG monster throw cop cars at helicopters, you came to the right bad movie party!

It makes sense, seeing as how Bigfoot folklore dates back to before the invention of film, but it doesn’t seem to explain why almost all of the Bigfoot media in the world is Supercult worthy. I’m telling you that we could fuel this movie watching party for decades just on hilariously awful movies about abominable hairy beasts. It’s a shame we’ve chosen to narrow the field to a humble double feature tonight, but if you’re looking for cheesy Bigfoot flicks it’s hard to go wrong with the made-for-tv 2012 action/adventure/comedy Bigfoot.

Bigfoot was co-produced by the Syfy channel that brought us stunningly bad monster films like Dinocroc vs Supergator, Lavalantula, and Piranhaconda which was produced by Roger Corman of all people, and The Asylum, an American indie film company that specializes in “mockbusters”, low-budget films that cash-in on the productions of major studios. Classic examples include Snakes on a Train, Atlantic Rim, and Transmorphers. Syfy and The Asylum have partnered for several films. If you’ve seen a ridiculous monster film with the word ‘Shark’ in the title, it’s probably from them.

You would be forgiven for believing that everything about Bigfoot is phoned in. The dialogue and acting are subpar, the environmental message is ham-fisted at best and patronizing at worst, and the visual effects are par for the course of any Syfy or Asylum film, which is to say they are laughable. The 50-foot, deafeningly loud sasquatch seems infinitely capable of sneaking up behind people in the woods, computer generated outhouses ‘crush’ screaming extras, and every scene of the beast snatching a bystander is accompanied by a TV-14 rated off-screen squelching sound effect. But I prefer to see this film as a paid vacation for the people involved. Say what you want about the quality of the film and the script (and don’t worry, we will), but everyone is definitely having a good time.

It’s not as if the people involved are unskilled. Most are veteran TV actors from shows like the Brady Bunch, That 70s Show, and WKRP in Cincinnati. Everyone is perfectly capable of acting well, delivering snappy one-liners, and generally being believable human being on screen. It’s just that the story, which barely amounts to a series of strung-together fur-fueled fight scenes, has the emotional range of bloodcurdling scream and Alice Cooper guitar riff. Alice Cooper himself shows up to get punted into oblivion by the CG menace.

Bigfoot has a 13% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes. One IMDB reviewer wrote, “I’m not quite sure what happened. This atrocity came on and next thing I knew, I was drooling on myself and had crapped my pants.” But that just begs the question, what did they expect!? No one on set or in the audience is in the dark on what this film is all about. It’s a silly TV time waster for teenagers to ignore while feeling each other up on the couch.  It’s an opportunity for 60-year-old veteran actors to get paid and chew up the scenery. It’s yet another ridiculous addition the already long list of ridiculous Bigfoot films in the world.

It’s also the best damn Bigfoot movie you’ll ever see that ends with a fist fight on Mount Rushmore. And that’s a Supercult guarantee!

Supercult West is proud to present, Bigfoot!

Bigfoot Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Bigfoot Pitter Patter” with a minor in “Friendly Fire”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of SyFy and Asylum films’ Bigfoot!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “David Wascavage” with a minor in “Awesome Death Scenes”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Suburban Sasquatch!

You’ve heard of B-movies, right? It’s the term we use for low-budget commercial movies that aren’t arthouse films. Up until the 1960s B-films were intended for distribution as the less-publicized bottom half of a double feature, similar to B-sides for recorded music. That’s not to say that B-movies were necessarily bad, just that they were expected to be more niche. Lots of genre films, westerns, monster films, horror films, and sci-fi films, were B-movie staples. The Blob (1958), The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), most early John Wayne films, and almost every Roger Corman film could be classified as a B-Movie. The tradition of these campy, low-budget films can be seen in classic monster films like Tremors, grindhouse films like Machete, and sci-fi send ups like Mars Attacks!

“Uburban Asquatch”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzejqYRtmdY

We got him! I think! That may just be a CG net or something?

Oh no! Not the cop car .jpeg!

“Are you you saying that big foot is loose and killing people in a suburban town in Northeast America?”

“That about sums it up!”

Special effects brought to you by the Virtua Boy!

Only true hunters wear white in the forest.

Rararouaurgh!

Cryptid PUNCH!

This is not a B-Movie though. It’s not even a C-movie. It’s a Z-movie. A film with so little budget, such a small reservoir of quality that it’s difficult to even classify it above a home video. Even Ed Wood would’ve upchucked wood. If Ed could Ed Wood would upchuck wood if Ed Would could see Suburban Sasquatch. That sounded better in my head, but whatever.

Suburban Sasquatch is the creation of Dave Wascavage, a B-film enthusiast turned independent filmmaker. His first film Fungicide (2002) featured killer mushrooms the size of, well, people wearing bed sheets. His second film, Suburban Sasquatch (2004), levels up to ‘guy in homemade gorilla suit’ levels of production value. The joke is not how small of a budget this film was operating on. We can tell that much just by scrolling through IMDB and noting that Wascavage was the writer, director, producer, actor, editor, cinematographer, composer, and basically the entire film crew. He even made all the Sasquatch noises himself, for Nic Cage’s sake. No, the joke is how much entertainment was created from that little cash.

This Sasquatch rips off a man’s arm and then beans his friend with it. He reaches down to lift a car and then in the next shot the car appears to be a superimposed clipart image of a car hovering vaguely in Sasquatche’s upraised arms. There is no deception, no half-hearted attempt to pretend that this film is greater than the sum of its parts. It revels in its campy dialogue, poor lighting, and 16-bit special effects. It’s a bad movie, people, but you get more than what you pay for. What’s even better is that it didn’t take much for Wascavage to get a distribution deal for his films and enough cult acclaim to keep making them. Wascavage’s garage-bred production studio Troubled Moon Films is still alive and kicking with 6 soon to be Supercult Classics available and two more on the way.

Wascavage was once told, “The Lord of the Rings cost maybe 185 thousand times your film, but that doesn’t mean that it’s 185 thousand times better.” Suburban Sasquatch has more heart and soul than perhaps the entire film catalog of The Asylum Films. It may be rough around the edges, and have comical filming mistakes, garbage visual effects, laugh inducing gore and practical effects, a revealing lack of extras, sets, and nighttime footage, and a frightening disregard for graphic design, but it’s also the best sasquatch film you’ll see all night! At least until the back half of this double feature anyway.

He’s out of the woods and in your neighborhood!

Supercult West is proud to present, Suburban Sasquatch!

  Suburban Sasquatch Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “David Wascavage” with a minor in “Awesome Death Scenes”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Suburban Sasquatch!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Chickens” with a minor in “Go Home”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Furious!

Okay, let’s get some facts out of the way. This film was written, directed, and produced by Tim Everitt, who has since become a visual effects artist with credits on Deep Blue Sea and Red Planet, and Tom Sartori, who has since become a colorist and worked mainly in TV. Furious, released in 1984, was, for all intents and purposes, both of their first films. Not first time directing or producing. Just first time working on a film. Which makes it especially crazy when you realize that Furious stars a young Simon Rhee, as well as Simon’s brother Philip Rhee as Simon’s martial arts master. Both of these men were expert martial artist who would eventually become equally skilled filmmakers. Simon for example, now has over 190 credits to his name for stunts and stunt coordination for everything from Inception, Dark Knight, and the Rush Hour Films, to Supercult Classics Double Impact, Skyscraper, and Kung Pow! Enter the Fist. Even here the Rhee brother’s athletic prowess shines through, even if everything else is, well, absolute insanity.

Everything on this box is a lie. IMDB even lists the film as rated R!

Why did the mook cross the bridge? To get a face full of the water below it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l75a8CvIHBQ

I mean…this one is a LITTLE less of a lie, but it doesn’t mention all the acid this film is on.

Filmed entirely in Hollywood!

If anyone has a copy of “Theme from Furious” I will pay good money for it.

Damn, the 80s had the best mustaches…

This is your brain on Furious.

Okay, so you know that feeling you get when you brush your teeth or turn on the TV? You do those things almost daily. You have grown accustomed to them. They’re automatic. You perhaps don’t even think about them anymore. When you brush your teeth or turn on the TV, you’re probably thinking about what you’re going to do at work that day or maybe considering what to have for dinner. You brush in small circular movements, you press a button on the remote, and you wait. You expect your actions to have reasonable, predictable outcomes. Your teeth will become brushed, the TV will turn on. Routine and understanding lends these small moments, and in turn our lives as a whole, a sense of control and stability. That feeling, that predictable, comfortable, rational feeling, is poison to the film Furious.

When you meet furious you think, “Oh, this is a cute movie! The VHS box cover says it’s rated PG and it’s about action and adventure on the astral plane! So maybe it’s about a magic ninja who fights aliens in space! Like SPY KIDS!!” And then you take Furious out on a few dates and it lulls you into a sense of security. “Red Hot Karate Action, you say? Do go on Furious.” First 20 minutes or so and everything’s going great. I mean, that part about former Miss Philippines Arlene Montano being chased over a mountain by barbarians was…strange…but I’m sure it’ll make sense later. So, you decide to take Furious home to meet the parents. After all, it’s “Clean action adventure for the whole family.” That’s when Furious shakes your mother’s hand, then turns to you, looks you straight in the eyes, chuckles maniacally for a full 60 seconds and then turns your father into a talking pig.

Only now do you realize that Furious is insane. Furious thinks that normal things like paying their taxes on time and wearing seat belts is for losers who don’t know the secrets of the enchanted tusk. Furious mixes LSD, absinthe, and battery acid into a wild concoction it likes to call “The Restaurant scene”. Furious can’t decide if it wants the shirt on or off, but it can tell you that it really likes chickens, robot sentry jam sessions, and playing classical music with the volume turned up to 11. With your mother is screaming, your swine father talking about medallions, and with Furious suddenly recruiting 8 children to storm the dining room, you’re not sure whether to kick Furious out of the house or take it to bed. You instead settle for slack-jawed awe for the next hour or so as Furious upends your understanding of cinema, reality, and dating metaphors.

When you emerge, bleary-eyed, your legs shaking, you realize that when you brush your teeth or turn on the TV you suddenly get the jitters. That feeling you thought you enjoyed, took solace in, is no longer there, or if it is, it tastes like a mountain man’s fur-lined jockstrap. Old, safe, predictable things, like movies that don’t have boxes full of screaming women or giant foam dragon heads, have lost their flavor. They bore you. Your mind ascended to a sun-bleached mountaintop and did battle with the movie Furious but all that returned from the peak was a flaming skeleton of your former self. Reality is a maddening, mundane lie and now YOU are Furious.

Supercultists, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event. it is not an exaggeration to say that you have never and will never see another film like Furious. But, unlike so many other underwhelming once-in-a-lifetime events, like your first kiss or your inevitable death, Furious will quite literally blow your mind.

You. Have. Been. Warned.

Supercult West is proud to present, Furious!

Furious Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Chickens” with a minor in “Go Home”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Furious!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Andy Sidaris” with a minor in “Girls, Guns & G-Strings”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the film that turns the death scene into a true work of art: Picasso Trigger!

Here at Supercult we venerate towering figures in cinematic stupidity called Supercult Saints. Some are actors like Nicholas Cage, Jeff Goldblum, Jean Claude van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Others are studios like Troma Films, Cannon Films, or Full Moon Entertainment. But my personal favorite are the creative geniuses who somehow manage to convince people to fork over their money to finance ludicrous Supercult projects like John Woo, Michael Bay, Tommy Wiseau, and the Golan-Globus team. But among the creative greats that are enshrined in the cathedrals of Supercult, there are none who knew the way to the American Man’s heart better than Andy Sidaris.

Killing is an Art Form, but so is the subtle art of being a strong independent babe.

This scene is full of important plot stuff.

Yeah, there’s like, a whole important story thing about…all of this.

Yeah, this is a really important…narrative moment.

This is a serious film for serious people interested in character development and, like, emotions and stuff.

“Didn’t I tell you Jade, I’ve got a black belt in shotgun.”

My boobs are down here! SEE!

“Give ’em a lei, blow ’em away.”

Some might wonder how they can hide in bright neon scuba gear. Those people have missed the point.

Born in Chicago in 1927 and growing up in Shreveport, Louisiana before attending college in Dallas, Andy was no stranger to wide world of sports. So much so that before becoming a film director he was a Television director for ABC’s Wide World of Sports for 25 years. Sidaris covered everything from football and basketball games to Olympic events and special programs, even earning an Emmy for his coverage of the 1968 Summer Olympics. However, his true legacy is in helping to develop techniques that are standard today such as instant replay, split screen views and what came to be known as the “honey shot”, close-ups of cheerleaders and pretty girls in stands during slow points at sporting events. In effect, Andy Sidaris standardized the combining two of the American Male’s favorite pastimes: sports and objectifying women.

Andy eventually grew bored in Television and expanded into film where he specialized in B-quality action flicks featuring buxom gun-toting girls and a veritable cornucopia of explosives. His studio, Malibu Bay Films, had a rotating stable of actors made up of Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets and cranked out more ludicrously awesome films in a single decade than lesser Supercult Saints like Neil Breen have made in their entire lives. His films, including Savage Beach, Malibu Express, and Supercult Classic Hard Ticket to Hawaii, would eventually come to be known as his Triple B series: Bullets, Bombs, and Babes, and the full 12 film Triple B series beginning with 1985’s Malibu Express and ending with 1998’s L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach should be required literature for any self-respecting Supercultist.

Picasso Trigger, the third film in the BBB-series released in 1988, is when Andy Sidaris hit his stride. Not only is it written and directed by Andy Sidaris, but he also cameos in his own film as the uncredited character “Whitey” Nearly a direct sequel to 1987’s Hard Ticket to Hawaii, the plot might as well be a sexier version of the James Bond film Skyfall. A crime lord begins systematically murdering intelligence agents after the death of his brother during the events of the previous film. Only a crack team of incredibly picturesque crime fighters, many of the members of which return to their original roles from Hard Ticket to Hawaii, has a chance of bringing him down.

Picasso Trigger has surprise banjo guns, helicopter rockets, nearly every form of transportation known to man including hover boats and big Casey Junior style choo choo trains, big block letters to let you know what day it is, and features just as many bizarre and hilarious murder weapons as previous installments of the series. I won’t spoil anything for you but let’s just say that if you can strap a bomb to it, someone will drive, fly, or throw it into someone. Oh yeah, and there’s quite a bit of nudity and love making to 80s synth wave. You know, the basic building blocks of any Andy Sidaris film.

Is it a sexist relic of a bygone era directed by a master of objectification, ostentation, and sexploitation? Well sure, that’s probably why it has a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. But it’s also really, stupidly fun to watch and laugh at! And that’s really all that matters…to us at least.

Raise your glasses high to another great contribution by Supercult Saint Andy Sidaris, for though God gave us Girls, Guns, and G-Strings, it was Andy Sidaris that put them all in a 12-film boxed set sold on Amazon for ten bucks.

Supercult West is proud to present, Picasso Trigger!

Picasso Trigger Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Andy Sidaris” with a minor in “Girls, Guns & G-Strings”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the film that turns the death scene into a true work of art: Picasso Trigger!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Troma Entertainment” with a minor in “King Crimson”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Surf Nazis Must Die!

In film school you learn that a great title can sell even the worst film. You spend time brainstorming cool titles for equally cool movies, like Rebel Without a Cause, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. But you’ll settle for crap films that put butts in seats based on the title along like Sharknado, Supercult Classic The Man Who Fell to Earth, or *shudder* Caddyshack II. Unfortunately, our movie tonight exists in the oh so common third category: films with awesome titles that weren’t fooling anybody.

And three’s a crowd on Cloud Nine, but One is the Loneliest Number at Seventh Heaven!

“I am the Fuhrer of the beach!” – A line that probably sounded cooler on paper from this film

Welcome to California, I guess.

Can you dig it??

Hey ladies! Wanna come over to our side of the beach? We’ve got leather jackets, swastikas, vicious autocratic power structures… everything you need to have a good time!

The soundtrack cover art is better than the entirety of the movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj9Ju9AsLjA

I am a destructive machine with only two speeds: “Fast” and “Furious”

Just say no to fascism, kids.

Harley Davidson, the official ride of vengeful mothers taking on gang violence.

Okay, now it’s time for our annual Nazi cookie bake fundraiser. Raise your hands if you know how to bake.

Why is every poster for this movie better than the actual movie??

Surf Nazis: Come for the strong man dictatorship, stay for the sweet van paint jobs.

If, like me, you saw the title “Surf Nazis Must Die” and imagined Springtime for Hitler on Surfboards, you will be disappointed. However, we can offer you the illegitimate love child of Big Momma’s House, The Warriors, and Supercult Classic Surf Ninjas! Released in 1987, Surf Nazis Must Die tells the tale of a post-apocalyptic California ravaged by a devastating earthquake that transforms the coastline into a sexier version of Mad Max. Roving gangs of kids who watched a little bit too much of Nickelodeon’s Rocket Power when growing up terrorize the beach front. When the Surf Nazis begin systematically conquering every other rival gang, it’s up to Mama, a no-nonsense black woman, to restore order. Yeah, you heard me right. After Eleanor “Mama” Washington’s son is killed by the Nazis, she packs a pistol and her extremely stereotypical angry black woman attitude and declares war.

We here at Supercult are no strangers to the various laughable “-isms” that permeate our choice in films. Like a well-seasoned brine, sexism, racism, ageism, ableism, and heterosexism are the poorly aged, putrid overtones to our favorite cinematic dishes. We can forgive, nay, relish in a film that so blatantly flaunts its offensive ideologies. But what we cannot forgive…is that Surf Nazi’s isn’t funny. It’s just confusing. You’d think that a film distributed by the vaunted Troma Entertainment would be held to a higher comedic standard. After all, the makers of low budget laugh riots like Class of Nuke ’Em High and Supercult Classic, The Toxic Avenger, can’t be cheap, tone deaf, and boring all at the same time, can they? Two out of three is the standard, I grant you, but when you hit three-of-a-kind, well…

Surf Nazis Must Die was critically panned upon release. Everything from the dialogue to the camerawork was criticized. Janet Maslin of the New York Times said that “Not even the actors’ relatives will find this interesting,” and Roger Ebert stated that he walked out of the film after 30 minutes. But with a 20% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 3.7 on IMDB, we here at Supercult have seen and sat through much, much worse.

One last thing though… Surf Nazis was directed, written, and produced by a man named Peter George who went on to do almost nothing else. His IMDB bio suggests that he is most known for Surf Nazis Must Die and Skate Nazi’s Must Die. I have no idea how conflicted I felt when I realized that Skate Nazi’s Must Die was not a real thing and that there is no evidence that such a film had ever been made or was ever in the process of being made. On the one hand, thank our lord and savior Nic Cage that there isn’t a sequel/spin-off to this hackneyed gang-war comedy that pretends to be a surf movie by jamming non-sequitur surf footage into the middle of scenes. On the other hand…we would’ve watched that dog-s#!^ in a heartbeat.

The Beaches Have Become Battlefields… The Waves Are A War Zone!

Supercult West is proud to present, Surf Nazis Must Die!

Surf Nazis Must Die Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Troma Entertainment” with a minor in “King Crimson”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Surf Nazis Must Die!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Reeves and Hatem” with a minor in “The Busey Always Gets Paid”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, aka “I’m tired of the mother f#*$-ing chefs on my mother f$)@-ing train!”

There’s no question in our mind that the best Steven Seagal film is Under Siege. Maybe it’s the fact that it was only his 5th film and he still, perhaps, cared about the craft? Maybe it’s because the film was made in a time before Seagal was writing his own material, decided he was a deity, and before he…uh…developed #realcurves? Maybe it was the innovative technology that was used to make the film look good without breaking the bank? Maybe it was the ridiculous, manic fun oozing out of the villains, Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey that prompted director Andrew Davis to make a film starring Seagal that only had about 41 minutes of Seagal in it? Maybe it was just all the knife throwing, pie burning, eye-gouging, face touching, bay-watch babe ogling, and dramatic side lighting? I mean what else could explain Under Siege’s 79% on rotten tomatoes and it’s ranking as Seagal’s best film both critically and financially? Ahh! I got it, it’s because in Under Siege, Steven Seagal plays a former navy seal turned ship cook and has navy regulation hair length and no ponytail! See, I knew that ponytail was holding him back in all his recent films!

No wait, that can’t be right, because he doesn’t have a ponytail in Under Siege 2, and Under Siege 2 blows.

PEW PEW PEW!

I’d feel a bit more tension in the film if Seagal could muster more than 2 facial expressions.

“And that is how you whip it. Whip it good.”

Dang, the 1990s apparently had top knotch video conferencing as long as you were on a moving train communicating with a big government mission control room.

Something in this image is out of place. See if you can spot it!

Gary Oldman, Laurence Fishburne, Julian Sands and Jeff Goldblum were among those who refused the role of Travis Dane.

How would we know the stakes of the film if we didn’t have a room full of government men wringing their hands??

“You know I’ve never been afraid of anybody. But that uncle of yours scares me… and I like it.” “…Perv.”

Released in 1995, three years after the original film, Under Siege 2 stars and is produced by Steven Seagal, but thankfully written by someone else. Then student filmmaker Matt Reeves collaborated on the idea with his friend Richard Hatem in college to help finance his student film. The film featured a hijacked train, codes to a secret military satellite particle weapon, and an outgunned, outnumbered vigilante caught up in the commotion forced to evade and outwit the hijackers and prevent a massive terrorist attack! The script had a working titles of either “End of the Line” or “In Dark Territory”, Dark Territory being a railroading term referring to a section of railroad track that has no train signals and difficult or nonexistent communications.

The script was eventually optioned by Warner Brothers who decided to turn the film into a sequel to Under Siege. Reeves said that the film was originally “meant to be very much like a Die Hard movie, which I guess Under Siege really was too, except the difference was that in the Under Siege movies that tension is how soon before Segal will rip out someone’s larynx. And what I love about Die Hard was this idea of the underdog…That was what that movie was supposed to be, but it didn’t end up being that.” Don’t feel too bad for Reeves or Hatem though. Hatem became a producer and writer for TV and Reeves eventually became a successful writer and director for films like Cloverfield, Let Me In, War For the Planet of the Apes, and the upcoming Batman film.

Meanwhile on set, Seagal was throwing his producer weight around and rewriting every scene he had a part in. Director Geoff Murphy called making the film “a very dreary process” and noted the number of arguments on set. It’s amazing the film came together into anything even resembling a thriller in the edit. Seagal had numerous good reasons to be so frustrated during filming. For one thing he started wearing a girdle to contain his stomach during filming. This was meant to be a temporary fix as he intended to lose the excess weight while on set, but, well, that didn’t happen.

But the real kicker was that at some point during casting Seagal returned from a vacation to discover that Gary Busey had been hired to play the villain in spite of the fact that Busey’s character had died in the previous film! What made matters worse was that Busey, sly fox that he is, had managed to get a “pay-or-play” deal which meant that he got his $750,000 fee whether he was in the film or not. Allegedly the money came out of Seagal’s pocket as producer, but Busey didn’t work a day on the picture.

Perhaps the only good thing that happened on the film was that the filmmakers pioneered a technique that allowed them to shoot the majority of the film on a sound stage rather than in an actual train. By using tennis balls glued to the set as reference points, they used motion tracking to insert footage of Colorado scenery into the background even when the camera moved around. Pretty slick.

So, recap: Unlike the original Under Siege Seagal was writing his own material and needed a girdle to hold in his ‘godly’ form. Not only are the villains not as good as the old ones, but the old ones were somehow being paid to NOT work on the film. Oh yeah, and unlike the original Under Siege 2 has a 35% on Rotten Tomatoes and was not nearly as successful at the box office as its predecessor.

Good news though? Under Siege has just as many knife fights, three times as many modes of transportation, and about 1000% more people being run over by trains as the original. That’s pretty good, right? Perhaps even good enough for Seagal to announce in 2014 that he was developing an Under Siege 3??

Last time he rocked the boat. This time the sky’s the limit!

Supercult West is proud to present Under Siege 2!

  Under Siege 2: Dark Territory Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Reeves and Hatem” with a minor in “The Busey Always Gets Paid”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, aka “I’m tired of the mother f#*$-ing chefs on my mother f$)@-ing train!"

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Nuclear Pirates” with a minor in “50 Gallons of Bouillabaisse”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Under Siege!

We’ve seen a decent number of Steven Seagal films here at Supercult, on Deadly Ground, being one of the most memorable, but Under Siege, first screened at Supercult West in 2017 is arguably the best. Released in 1992, Under Siege is Steven Seagal’s zenith, both critically and financially, which is saying something because it’s only his 5th big picture of the nearly 60 films he’s starred in to date. Under Siege is from a time when studios were working to make Seagal into more of an actor rather than ‘just an action star’, before Seagal started writing most of his own scripts, before he met the Dalai Lama and decided that he was a deity, and before he…well…got fat.

“It’s not a job…It’s an Adventure!”

” Jones has developed into one of the most effective and interesting villains in the movies, maybe because he’s not afraid to go over the top – as he does here, masquerading as a heavy-metal rocker and later spieling political slogans into the radio like a deranged dictator.” -Roger Ebert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWchDZMchIE

“I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.” -Seven Seagal

*Sigh* No man ass here folks, move along.

Can we get more Tommy Lee Jones Supercult movies please? Like Man of the House or Black Moon Rising?

If you hold a gun up to your ear you can hear the ocean…no wait, that’s because we’re on a boat.

I’m going to make you a pie. A meat pie! No, nevermind, it sounded better in my head.

While you might get excited over the fact that Under Siege was written by J.F. Lawton (who previously wrote Pretty Woman and would later write the film adaptation for the Dead or Alive video game) and directed by Andrew Davis (who had previously worked with Seagal on 1988’s Above the Law), the real treat of this film are the villains played by Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey. From Gary Busey in drag to Tommy Lee Jones in a bedazzled leather biker jacket making cartoon sound-effects with his mouth, you’d think the two were competing to see who could steal the most scenes. At one point Director Davis was asked by the studio head to film more Seagal scenes saying that Seagal was only in the movie for 41 minutes and that Tommy Lee was in the movie longer that Steven. Davis brushed it off saying later in interview, “that was the movie that got me [the director’s role on] The Fugitive so it was worth it.”

While traditional location work was used to make the USS Alabama museum ship look like the USS Missouri in the film and the USS Drum portrayed a North Korean Submarine, and traditional set work was used to give the ship the illusion of being in the middle of the Pacific Ocean when in fact it was docked in Mobile Bay, Alabama,  there’s some surprising technical depth to this film. Under Siege makes extensive use of the Introvision process. A variation of front projection that allows realistic 3D interaction of foreground characters with projected backgrounds without the heavy cost of traditional bluescreen effects by photographing miniatures or real-life locations, separating those shots into layers, and integrating actors into the middle ground. Introvision was used in films like Army of Darkness, The Fugitive, and even Supercult Classic Megaforce.

But enough of all that ‘this movie is actually good’ stuff, let’s get to the lighting round! Be on the lookout for the following Under Siege features:

Dolphins

Steven Seagal with Navy regulation hair length and no ponytail

Burning Pies

Eye-Gouging

An absurd, but surprisingly believable and nuanced geo-political thriller plot

Knife Fights

Lots of male on male face touching

Steven Seagal’s dramatic side lighting

Snapple

Navy terminology and recruitment slogan references

Former Bay Watch babe and ‘pretty schoolgirl who gets kissed by Elliott in E.T.’, Erika Eleniak as playmate sidekick Jordan Tate

Rybeck’s throwing knife designed by famed custom knifemaker Gil Hibben who has made knives for everyone from John Wayne, and Elvis Presley to Vice-President Dan Quayle and the Sultan of Brunei

Looney Tunes

A total body count of 100

Under Siege is the only Steven Seagal film to have a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes with a score of 79%, and it’s also the only Seagal film to ever be nominated for an Academy Award, in this case for best sound and sound effects editing. Roger Ebert praised the acting, especially of Jones and Busey, saying that “The villains are superb, vile and deliriously insane.” From a budget of $35 million it made over $156 million, and it even spawned a much worse sequel 1995’s Under Siege 2: Dark Territory which is all about Steven Seagal on a trains, planes, and in automobiles.

In other words, this is a good f*@&-in’ movie Supercultists! Don’t forget, he’s just a cook.

Supercult West is proud to present, Under Siege!

Under Siege (Supercult West) Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Nuclear Pirates” with a minor in “50 Gallons of Bouillabaisse”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Under Siege!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Jeff Lew” with a minor in “Double-Flushers”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Killer Bean Forever!

Back in the 90s when 3D animation was just becoming accessible and YouTube hadn’t been founded yet, Jeff Lew taught himself 3D animation with a 3-minute short film called Killer Bean: The Interrogation. Though it was only meant as a learning exercise, the video still got several thousand hits when he posted it on the internet. Jeff eventually joined the animation industry, working as an animator on films like X-Men (2000) but Killer Bean was still Jeff’s outlet for practicing animation and expressing his personal style and in 2000, Kller Bean 2.1: The Party, was released. Clocking in at 7 minutes, the short film took 3 years to create and it received over a million views, which is probably hundreds of millions of views in modern times if you factor in inflation.

“Sorry, it was a double-flusher.” “But you only flushed once.”

“Let me put this in a language you can understand.”

Either every set in this film is a concrete bunker or a warehouse, or there are seriously not enough good screengrabs to be found on the internet.

“We’re being attacked. I think it’s Killer Bean.” “How do you know?” “Well… he’s killing everyone.”

Is anyone else getting that South Park vibe where every character would be indistinguishable without their hats?

“Reckless? Reckless my brown bean ass.”

The success of his pet project prompted him to keep at it while still keeping up with his visual effects animation career for Hollywood, but after receiving numerous calls from movie producers that never developed, Lew decided to make a full feature animated film himself. 5 months for a rough screenplay, 1 ½ years for previz, 3 years in animation, a posted ad on Craigslist for voice talent, and finally in 2008 he had done it. Killer Bean Forever, an 85-minute 3D animated feature was screened at the Toronto Film Festival.

Consider that most animators at a major studio are given several weeks to complete a single shot of animation. While previsualization and post production can add years to a feature’s production time, the bulk of the production, such as animation, effects, and lighting, are often crammed into a year or perhaps just a few months. That’s over 100k man hours, over 12 years of work, crammed into just one year with the combined efforts of an army of skilled artists and technicians. Jeff Lew did it all himself in just 3 years while maintaining his day job working on Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, Supercult Classic The Matrix Reloaded, and acting as an animation consultant on Looney Tunes: Back in Action.

Jeff wrote, produced, directed, animated and starred in Killer Bean as Jet Bean. He was also the cinematographer, the editor, the lighting department, the art department, the music composter, and the sound designer. And though he’s not credited on IMDB for it, we’re pretty sure he was also the costume department, location scout, casting department, stunt coordinator, hair and makeup, dance choreographer, and caterer. Killer Bean is a miracle of dedication, ambition, and the self-made man; a shining example of the power of a single human bean’s perseverance.

Is Killer Bean Forever a good film? No! It’s an amateurish, crude, poorly-lip synched dumpster fire about sentient coffee beans killing each other. Is it a great Supercult Film? You bet your ass it is. Not only that, but since it’s wide release on DVD in 2009, Killer Bean has spawned a cult following, a mobile game, Killer Bean: Unleashed, and plans for a 10-episode series were announced in early 2020. Simply put, it’s the best damn film about sentient coffee beans killing each other you’ll see all year.

He’s just a bean trying to get some sleep!

Supercult West is proud to present, Killer Bean Forever!

Killer Bean Forever Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Jeff Lew” with a minor in “Double-Flushers”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Killer Bean Forever!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Women, Children, and Cartoon Animals first” with a minor in “Party Time!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Titanic: The Legend Goes On!

Okay, let’s try this again Supercultists…

Once upon a time, in 1912, a big a$$ ship sank and a lot of people died. This was very sad in a lot of ways, but it was very good for Hollywood, who has milked the tragedy for every ounce of cinematic material ever since. Over 20 films about, relating to, or featuring the Titanic have been released since the disaster, roughly two every decade. The first was ‘Saved From The Titanic’, released just 29 days after the event and starring Dorothy Gibson, an American Actress who survived the sinking. In 1943, a German propaganda film about the Titanic was commissioned by the Nazis with the intent of showing not only the superiority of German filmmaking, but also to argue that British and American capitalism was responsible for the disaster.

The Titanic was truly a tragedy of pie in the face proportions.

Featuring the best CG Titanic since 1997!

Fievel? Is that you? What sisyphean curse

Pongo, Perdita, why are you in this film? What do these Italians have on you??

The best thing about this film is that, unlike The Legend of Titanic, Titanic: The Legend Goes On doesn’t have a sequel.

This is the villain, because of facial hair.

I just… I mean… Well… There it is.

Sorry, I know this is tragic and all, I just… A rapping dog?

The most commercially successful is undisputedly James Cameron’s 1997 romantic comedy about a girl who just refuses to share her rafts. But Cameron’s success was immediately followed by a series of pretenders and cash-ins. Chief among them was the first animated feature film about the Titanic: Supercult Classic, The Legend of Titanic. Released in 1999, just two years after James Cameron’s epic, this Spanish Italian film is quite possibly the worst thing ever. It features a straight up rip-off of the plot of the James Cameron film with a bunch of human characters, but with 1000% more animated talking animals including a bunch of immigrant mice in varying flavors of racist, a gang of criminal sharks, and a naïve dog-faced giant octopus named Tentacles.

But we’re not talking about that film. We’re talking about the second animated film about the Titanic: Titanic: The Legend Goes On, also called Titanic: The Animated Film in the American release. The Legend Goes on features a straight up rip-off of the plot of the James Cameron film with a bunch of human characters, but with 1000% more animated talking animals including a bunch of immigrant mice in varying flavors of racist, and a truly bizarre rapping dog. Released in 2000, this Spanish Italian film is somehow NOT a sequel to Legend of the Titanic. It’s not even made by the same production studio. Which means that two separate groups of people in Italy and Spain decided to make an animated knock-off of James Cameron’s Titanic and then proceeded to unleash a torrent of animated stereotypes, musical numbers, and bizarre sub-plots onto the screen.

The Legend Goes On was Directed, Written and Produced by Camillo Teti, a Producer and Production Manager of Spanish action films, westerns, and weird children’s sci-fi films named Navigators of the Space, which probably isn’t a rip-off of Flight of the Navigator. Probably. The Legend Goes On was Camillo’s first animated film and it not only rips-off the James Cameron film, but also a plethora of other animated films from One Hundred and One Dalmatians and The Rescuers to Secret of NIMH and An American Tail. This begs the question: Can you make a decent animated film by cannibalizing the parts of a dozen other animated films…and a 100-year-old tragedy that claimed the lives of over 1500 people? The answer is no. God no.

Titanic: The Legend Goes On is a travesty that insults the memory of those lost during the sinking of the Titanic, but more than that, it’s an insult to all of us who deign to watch it. With the American release of the film garnering a 7% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s been described as “a failed Disney imitation that excels in bad taste”, “inappropriate for children”, “one of the worst animated films of all time”, and “the worst film ever made” period. All of this and we might not even be seeing the best version of the film.

The most commonly available version has been drastically cut and re-edited. The re-edited version begins in media res with the ship sinking, then tells the rest of the story in flashback, removing several scenes and subplots, reordering certain scenes and shortening the runtime from 83 minutes to 70 minutes. It even changes the infamous rap song, adds one-liners and dialogue to previously silent scenes, and features a new musical score. We’ll know soon enough which shipwreck we’ve gotten ourselves into, but regardless, the legend of this incredible animated cult film will stay with us forever. Whether we like it or not.

You know there’s something you should know, so I’m gonna tell you so, don’t sweat it, forget it, enjoy the show!

Supercult West is proud to present, Titanic: The Legend Goes On!

Titanic: The Legend Goes On Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Women, Children, and Cartoon Animals first” with a minor in “Party Time!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Titanic: The Legend Goes On!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Monster Trucks” with a minor in “The Barbarian Brothers”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Twin Sitters!

The 80s were a weird time. The hair, the music, the legwarmers, and the cut off sweatshirts… But one of the weirdest things about the 80s might’ve been the fitness craze. It may have started innocently enough with Jane Fonda aerobics videos, jazzercise, and the invention of health clubs and gym memberships, but it eventually permeated every fiber of American culture. Olivia Newton-John’s music video for “Physical”, Nike’s “Just Do It” tagline, and a new wave of fitness themed film and television stars. Supercult classics like Gymkatta, Killer Workout, Bloodsport, Double Team, and Conan the Barbarian? All 80s films. It could be argued that bodybuilders and professional athletes like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean-Claude van Damme only made it to the big screen because of this new infatuation with the physically fit over, say, people who could act.

You’re never home alone when you’re a twin!

“Bro! You ripped!” “Thanks, Bro!” “No, I mean you ripped our shirts, now we’re too sexy to maintain a PG rating!

I mean…comedy?

I dare someone to find a more nebbish name than Eugene Percy.

This image here represents an entire genre of comedic family films.

So, is this 90s ridiculous fashion or 80s ridiculous fashion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ruJBKFrRCk

Enter the Barbarian Brothers, twins Peter and David Paul. Born in Connecticut, they moved to California to become professional body builders before becoming TV personalities and then, perhaps inevitably, actors and producers. They started out small as guest stars on the Knight Rider TV series before starring as a duo on the 1987 Conan cash-in, The Barbarians, for which they were both nominated for a Razzie Award for Worst New Star.

A similar pair muscle-bound movie stars might’ve followed the prescribed athlete-turned-Hollywood-actor agenda:

Step 1. Venturing out into the action and sci-fi genres, perhaps fighting aliens, drug-traffickers, terrorists, or drug-trafficking alien terrorists.

Step 2. Become a household name by making it big on one or two franchises, perhaps something with a snappy one-word noun for a title, like The Transporter, Terminator, or the Masticator. Don’t steal the Masticator, btw, that one’s mine.

Step 3. Relax and cash in on your fame by making easy, unambitious, low-quality comedy and family films that put a strong person in a non-traditional role in a room full of children and use size and strength as a punchline. Isn’t it funny that this middle school guidance counselor can bench-press the principal? Sure hope so, because that’s the entire movie.

The Barbarian Brothers, however, decided to jump straight to step 3 with 1994’s Twin Sitters. While other acting careers would consider a film like Twin Sitters to be the final nail in the coffin, but for the Paul brothers, it was what you might call the peak of their acting careers. This film about two bodybuilding, crime-fighting, meat head twin brothers playing babysitter to two rich, spoiled 10-year-old twin brothers is somehow so formulaic, so milk toast bland that it has no critical reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and no trivia on IMDB. It’s as if the universe collectively decided to forget this movie ever existed in the first place, which is a shame because it’s written and directed by John Paragon, best known as an actor, writer, and director for many episodes and TV specials of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Perhaps that’s why the film is full of genuinely funny writing and slapstick, as well as rated PG-13. Twin Sitters may look like an idiotic family film, and don’t get us wrong, it absolutely is, but it’s also genuinely touching at times and sports some classic Supercult-style unintentional humor.

Sadly, David Paul of the Barbarian Brothers recently passed away in March of 2020 at the age of 62, but we can celebrate the cinematic exploits of the pair by watching them systematically smash everything that isn’t nailed down, and a fair amount of the stuff that is!

Supercult West is proud to present, Twin Sitters!

Twin Sitters Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Monster Trucks” with a minor in “The Barbarian Brothers”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Twin Sitters!

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Look, I think we can agree that the first Mortal Kombat film was fun but was too much of a fence-sitter of a film. Not only was it a PG-13 film based on the most notoriously violent game in video game history, but it had about as much plot and visual effects polish as the game it was based on. It was neither good enough for film audiences nor extreme enough for fans of the video game. Nevertheless, the film made bank. From a modest budget of $18 million, Mortal Kombat grossed $122 million worldwide. The Gods of Hollywood demanded a sequel and, well, I think you’ll be glad to hear that the 1997 sequel did absolutely nothing to solve the problems of the original. It just made more.

“This time there is no tournament. This time there no rules. This time there is only Annihilation.”

Hey look! It’s that one guy! The lemon-flavored ninja, right? Didn’t he die in the last movie?

CAN YOU DIG IT??

Hey look! It’s that one girl! The strawberry flavored kunoichi, right? See the joke is that you all look the same with masks on.

Me and my shit-eating grin are gonna take over the world! What’chu gonna do about it, punk?

“Yeahhh! I’m a centaur! YEEEAAAHHH!”

Eww, is this really what the 90s looked like?

Behold the horror of every 90s mom at Halloween!!

Okay, everyone line up and stare at the blue screen.

So, in the game Jax’s arms are just robot arms. In the movie they’re more like exo-skeleton enhancements. So basically he’s wearing robo-sleeves with no shirt, which is supposed to be LESS dumb than robot prosthetics.

Released in 1997, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation steals the plot from Mortal Kombat 3 and the character roster from Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, hoping to cater more to fans of the video game. Producer Lawrence Kasanoff who produced the previous Mortal Kombat film and would later go on to write, direct, and producer Foodfight! (Yes, THAT Foodfight!) said that he was trying to make the film “even more spectacular than the first movie… Our theme for the sequel is to shoot for more—more fights, more special effects, more Outworld, more everything.” It’s true. The film has more of pretty much everything. More fights strung together with little to no connecting plot. More dropped plot threads and character arcs such as Liu Kang’s partially completed Animality trials. More characters uttering more nonsense one-liners with more campy melodramatic flair than you have ever heard in a single film! And even more shoddy special effects and matte effects that make you question what decade the film was made in. Oh yeah, and the damn thing is still a pansy PG-13!

Many of the original cast from the first Mortal Kombat film reprise their roles including Robin Shou as Liu Kang, Talisa Soto as Kitana, and uh…no wait, that’s it. Nearly everyone attached to the first film could see where this whole ‘Movies based on Video Games’ thing was headed and escaped with what little of their careers were still intact. Says here that Linden Ashby was asked to return as Johnny Cage but then turned it down after reading the script. Even our boy Christopher Lambert, from Supercult Classic Highlander, who played Raiden in the original film jumped ship and had to be replaced with James Remar, an arguably better actor who is given even less to work with script-wise than his predecessor. The overhauled cast had to not only learn how to somehow turn dialogue copy-pasted from a bad cartoon show into drama while sprinting through dozens of fight scenes. The only thing going for it cast-wise might be that behind the scenes working as the stunt double for Robin Shou was a 20-something Tony Jaa, veteran Muay Tai fighter since childhood and future star of Supercult Classic Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior,  the most real martial arts film ever.

But let’s get real: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was panned by both critics and fans of the video game. It is one of the lowest rated movies on IMDB with a score of 3.8 out of 10 right alongside Jaws 3-D (1983), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), and Supercult Classic Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987). It has a staggering 2% on Rotten Tomatoes and even video game programmer and Mortal Kombat co-creator, and the original voice of the Motal Kombat announcer Ed Boon hated the film’s guts. But worst of all, it barely made its money back, grossing only a third of the box office returns of its predecessor on nearly double the budget. Reception was so bad that plans for a third Mortal Kombat film, called Mortal Kombat: Devastation, were abruptly cancelled. But take heart fellow Supercultists. The Mortal Kombat rights are now with Warner Bros. and there are plans for a 2021 reboot. Ahh, the Elder Gods continue to bless Supercult with an unending supply of fodder, don’t they?

Now adays its hard to tell whether Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a cautionary tale of corporate greed and early video game cash-ins, or if it has evolved into a hilarious cult hit that plays into its own unintentional comedy. Is it a really bad video game film, or a really good spoof of the source material? It’s time to decide supercultists! Round One! FIGHT!

Supercult West is proud to present, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!