heaving through corrupted lungs

+olivia // libra // esfp // how dare you treat me, a real life princess, like that

[veryspecific]

okay…… good night mom………….,,

[creekfiend]

Hello! I am having ungulate struggles! My goat! Whom I assumed was fat! Was with child! And now I have babby goat that I was not yet prepared for! Her nickname is Bogo for now, because I bought one goat got one free!

An extremely good name for a goat. Do you have any other goats? If not at least your mama goat has a buddy now! MAZEL TOV

[bunny-b-b-baby]

I have 5-now 6 goat! Meet Bogo, who at first I had assumed to be a bunny rabbit that had gotten into the goat stall and was hiding from the dogs. Then the rabbit made baby goat sounds!

Twas not a rabbit!

[creekfiend]

Oh my GOD the EARS 😭

[antique-scarecrow]

this is SUCH a good post. this is the perfect post. there are other posts as good as this post, but there is no post better than this post, because this is peak perfection

[seangetfreaky]

@pangur-and-grim i thought you might enjoy this

[sayaka]

There are only 2 genders

[sayaka]

THIS JUST IN: 3rd gender discovered

[quiffturner-deactivated20130213]

wow i need a drink [pours apple juice into shot glass]

[someonespetturtle]

under communism we all have to share one toothbrush with this man

[powerarmor]

this guy created mcafee antivirus and then went completely off the rails. like absolute chaos. he got super rich, moved to Belize, was suspected of murdering his neighbor, fled Belize, had his location accidentally leaked by a Vice journalist who was with him lmfao, was apprehended in Guatemala, faked not one but two heart attacks while in custody to buy time for his lawyer, was deported back to the US, and then ran for president as a libertarian

[gorps]

hes so unintentionally funny

[gorps]

HOW could I forget this classic

[dare-i-say-asexual]

i just walked past the apartment beneath mine and through an open window i could hear my downstairs neighbor crying faintly while the song jolene played in the background and im just like… bitch are you okay…?

[dare-i-say-asexual]

I actually ended up going back downstairs to check on her and brought some leftover cookies I baked this afternoon. she’s very sweet and going through a Breakup Mood™️ after being cheated on. she’s coming over to my gf and I’s annual bad movie night on Friday and she even let me pet her cat named Clarence

[dare-i-say-asexual]

my gf thinks it’s funny but very fitting that our downstairs neighbor was able to summon a concerned lesbian just by playing jolene while crying about being done dirty by a man

[tryclops]

reblog to summon a concerned lesbian in your hour of need

[kosmonin]

[postllimit]

[benkenobee]

Fun fact y’all, the reason why so many Ancient Greek and Roman statues have tiny genitalia was because large ones were associated with stupidity, ugliness, and foolishness. Smaller penises meant rationality, wisdom, and authority. If you look for ancient statues of well-known horny and mischievous figures like Pan, they have hella large dicks.

[communistbussy]

i’m stupid and my meat is huge

[oi0u98ygth-deactivated20260120]

i think it’s so wholesome that whenever me or my friends have issues w our plants 🌱 .. i always send my mom a pic and she gives us a diagnosis and what to do

[oi0u98ygth-deactivated20260120]

[oi0u98ygth-deactivated20260120]

had another plant problem so i asked my mom..

[neekz-art]

Plant not gay

[versacemom]

Gays are happy

[whoredrigo]

Why does she talk like some sort of hermit shaman who lives in a mossy cave

[pissvortex]

[afterword]

i got the most relatable spam email

[logarto]

im gonna scream this is a park near my house

[logarto]

reading this w the exact same intonation as “found a snail… effervecent”

[100493503004422]

me: I’m doing pretty well, I feel pretty good me ten minutes later: not once in my life have I ever been ok

[hallucin8]

be sure to pee after sex so you don’t get an hdmi

[boobstouch]

Their heart is in the right place

[grlband-deactivated20150426]

a 30 y/o drunk man came up to me in a nightclub the other night and said “the economy might be shit but at least we have niall horan” 

[cleopat-ra-blog]

i’m having trouble believing this

[grlband-deactivated20150426]

i live in ireland the only thing irish men love more than themselves is niall horan 

[badwebbarchive]

#there’s an irisn pub near my old vocal studio and they have a framed picture of niall on the wall #not even signed or anything #just in the middle of the wall

[devotionsofmaryoliver]

[temptrsent-deactivated20161019]

“before he’s ready for it”

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

Top Ten Numbers

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

[notawordwassaid]

4 surprised me