Making a hand puppet with a little butt and it asks other puppets to fist it in the butt send tweet
My favourite part of being in hospital was when the doctor said "it's morphin' time" and he injected me with 2 litres of morphine and I fucking died send tweet
Cuckold porn, but the guy watching his wife bang another dude narrates the scene while doing a perfect impression of David Attenborough, send tweet
Mildly irradiating Belle Delphine so she can sell gamer girl heavy water send tweet
Tucker Carlson always makes that vacant face on camera because he's busy jerking off into a bag of M&Ms under the table send tweet
Barbershop quartet but they sing gangsta rap send tweet
Travelling back in time to desperately try to convince myself to make it an Ian *H* Watkins tattoo send tweet
Rewriting Harry Potter so that he has J K Rowling's political opinions and accidentally creating the wizarding turner diaries send tweet
Ben Shapiro was granted eternal youth on the condition that he never touched a well-lubricated vagina, send tweet
If the British Broadcasting Corporation was taken over and every news item was now about big black cocks instead, it would be 10,000x better send tweet
An unfunny, "edgy" comedian does a "free speech" tour about "cancel culture" and how there are things you're "not allowed to say" in comedy, but the stand-up turns out to just be a fundraiser for Hamas and he gets 20 years for terrorism offences send tweet
The 2-state solution is the state of Palestine and my pro-state send tweet
Can't spell "Stalin" without "Stan" send tweet
The laser table scene from James Bond, but instead of slicing him in half, the laser just circumcises him send tweet
Dragons Den/Shark Tank pitch that's just an app for mail-order brides send tweet
2039 dune remake where the war chant is "Atriedes Nutz" send tweet
It's not a jury of my peers unless they're my mutuals send tweet
Accidentally booking a meeting of a swingers club in an escape room and losing the deposit send tweet
Having sex with an engineer, and when I ask if he has lube, he empties an entire can of pressurised WD-40 up my ass killing me instantly, send tweet
A rip start chainsaw motor, but it's attached to a Hitachi, send tweet
Kids game show where the losers get dunked in gunge, but every competitor is transphobic and the gunge tank is full of estrogen gel send tweet
Navy seal copypasta, but it's a fundraising email from the democratic party send tweet
Guy who always says grace before eating pussy send tweet
We are the sons of the twinks you couldn't obliterate send tweet
Arriving at my therapist to find the usual couch has been replaced with the casting couch send tweet
Huel Enema send tweet
If "locker room talk" was only about how we wanna give 'the boys' sloppy toppy in the locker room after the game, this would heal the world, I think send tweet
Save an e-bike, ride an e-boy send tweet
Commissioning photorealistic hentai of every single police officer in my local precinct so that having my phone searched is just as unpleasant for them as it is for me send tweet
Training my pet snakes to do Shibari on my unsuspecting guests, send tweet
Erotic burlesque barbershop quartet that jacks off while singing and cums in harmony, send tweet
Getting a tramp stamp that's a photo of my face labelled "REMEMBER WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR" to keep the boys patriotic and in fighting spirit during backshots, send tweet.
Getting duct-taped to the front of the DOWN WITH CIS bus like a Mad Max war trophy, send tweet.
The sorting hat from harry potter can't actually read thoughts, it just does phrenology on a bunch of children, send tweet
Kicked out of the Palestine rally for my extremely ill-advised chant of from the window to the walls/'till the sweat drip from my balls send tweet
The virgin "debating whether squirt is pee" Vs.
The Chad "debating whether squirt is holy water"
Send tweet
Taking my partner to the swinger's club for the first time, but the only people watching us from the cuck chair are those old gay muppets and they won't stop heckling us, send tweet
Sending in a Pinkerton Dominatrix to strike-break my unionised polycule, send tweet
Carving "Ligma", "Bofa" and "Sugma" into every bullet I own just in case I need to shoot someone news-worthy send tweet
A new form of Wahabi Islam that forbids all depictions of the human form, except for showing those you don't like as the soy Wojack and those you do as the Chad, send tweet
As a firm believer in using taxpayer money as effectively as possible, I am a HUGE supporter of DOGE (Department Of Girl Ejaculation), send tweet
Using my genie's third and final wish to permanently transport every man who has ever unironically described himself as an "alpha male" to the Omegaverse, send tweet
Starting my own Caliphate where I force the Kaffir to pay their Jizya with literal jizz, send tweet
Mixing up my "sex for rent" arrangement with my "3 Klarna debt payments for food" arrangement and then proceeding to fuck my hot dog before edging my landlord for 3 months, send tweet
Enough botox injections functionally becomes the equivalent of sloped armour for phrenology skull calipers, send tweet
Skinned alive by the Loz Zetas for asking "is Pepsi OK instead?" at the worst possible time, send tweet
Breaking into the KKK headquarters with a pair of scissors to make all their robes crotchless and assless just in time for the next big rally, send tweet
Going on Jubilee "surrounded" as a contestant purely to grab another person who's reaching for the chair and then make out with them aggressively in front of a horrified Steven Crowder, send tweet
Bribed by a foreign secret service to treat my girl like shit, call that Mossad-gyny, send tweet
Telling the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come that I would actually be able to avoid the fate he's showing me if he stopped being a bitch and just gave me next week's lottery numbers, send tweet
Porn Music Video set to "we are Charlie Kirk" send tweet
Creating an annual award for the worst porn films of the year called "The Brazzies" send tweet
A conflict to the US-Denmark conflict where Denmark are allowed to keep Greenland as long as they make "We Are Charlie Kirk" their Eurovision entry this year, sent tweet
"LLM" stands for "Lies, Liabilities and Misinformation", send tweet
Andrew Tate Gay porn parody called "Bottom G" send tweet
Zoomer terrorist carrying out a bombing campaign on the 7th of June to make a new 9/11, send tweet
This goon sesh could have been an e-mail, send tweet
Getting a lifetime achievement award from my local Elvis impersonator convention after I walk in by accident, eat a bunch of junk food and die on the toilet, send tweet
1984 Porn Parody featuring Big Stepbro and the 2 minutes Gape, send tweet
Hearing a priest talking about how we are "children of god, made in his image", walking up to him and telling him I am "a child of mog, looksmaxxing in his image", whereupon I am immediately sent to hell, send tweet
